The Flop House - Ep. #401 - Book Club: The Next Chapter
Episode Date: July 29, 2023When last we saw our book club pals, they were getting all horned up and making life changes based on 50 Shades of Grey. Now that they're reading The Alchemist, we can only assume they're out there ex...erting their control over the elements. Join us as we explore this exciting new addition to the "Jane Fonda hangs out with 3 other elderly actresses" cinematic universe!Check out more info about our upcoming season of streaming shows, FLOP TV, and buy tickets!Donate to the Entertainment Community Fund here, to support those affected by the WGA strike.Wikipedia page for Book Club: The Next ChapterRecommended in this episode:The Girl Chewing Gum (1976)hammockstank topsEver tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.
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On this episode we discuss, book club, the next chapter.
Phase 3 of the Jane Fonda and her elderly friends cinematic universe. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington.
And I'm Elliot Kaelin and I'm super excited about flop TV, our upcoming run of monthly
live streaming shows, tickets available at theflaphouse.simpletics.com.
More information about that later in the show, but Dan, do what you're doing.
It's cute.
Just do your normal thing.
Cute.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Also, someone bought us flaphouselife.com if that's easier to remember.
Hey, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie or one that maybe didn't set the critical
world ablaze.
And the one you watch today was bad.
There's no need to qualify it ahead of time.
I'm just a spoiler alert.
I know why I want to make sure that people understand this is the thing like no matter
how many times I tell people, no matter how many times you get out there, maybe it by this
time they're trolling me. I say it doesn't have to be a financial flop. They're like, but this movie made money,
am I? It doesn't matter. It's like what the reaction was to it. That's the main way we choose.
And these are, these are like real people, not just like strong, like Twitter. So I don't
know how real they are. I think they're the voices in your head as you take a shower and
you have nothing else to distract you because I would say looking at the, looking at the numbers, this movie
I don't think made money.
Well, probably not one factor in marketing.
One factor in marketing.
No, it did make money above its budget, but yeah, it was just saying that there's a podcast
where we watch a movie.
Yeah, you could just do that.
Well, that seems a little less.
It just seems strange that we've been doing this podcast.
Open it up so that you can watch TV shows sometime.
We've done this podcast for over 400 episodes now.
Congratulations guys.
Oh, thank you.
How was it that as we go on, the way we describe it gets longer?
We should be refining it.
Refining it over time.
It's important.
Yeah, this came out at the same time as what was it?
Like a couple of big movies,
Guardians 3 and something else, like this was real matter of programming.
I mean, it was, yeah, and it was, it is smart to release this at the same time as this.
Although, when I saw Super Mario with my sons, they played the trailer for this beforehand,
and I thought it was an interesting choice.
But then, they played the trailer for every movie with But then Sammy went nuts when he saw Diane Keaton. I'm so glad she's
making movies. I'm so glad she's making movies. I loved her and something's got to give.
And I was like, what? That's the one. Sammy, like I love how she dresses like a cool Erkle with a hat all the time. She's amazing.
I love her.
Now, Erkle wore a lot of cardigans and like turtlenecks.
And it's like, her pants are so hot.
Oh, sure.
Erkle with a hat, what you mean is Erkle with a hat.
Because cool is kind of self-explanatory.
Her pants are super high and her shirts are buttoned
all the way up to the top,
and she's always wearing long pants.
Hi, pants are back in, buttoning your shirt to the top.
I don't know if it's still in.
It got, I noticed it was back in a while ago,
and I'm like, really, we're doing this now.
It's so uncomfortable.
Why not?
Why not?
It's just the way, and I will say,
there's a scene later in the movie we'll get to
where Diane Keaton, there's a dress with like,
a white dress with black spots on it, and itaton, there's a dress with like a white dress
with black spots on it.
And they're like, it's like you as a dress
and I was like, movie, I'll give you credit.
You did it.
That is Diane Keaton as a dress.
Yeah, that's perfect.
That was a perfect dress for her.
And the other day I went shopping
and I bought some high-waisted trousers
and Charlene called me Daddy-O
and I'm like, that's not dissuading me from buying these. Yeah, I can't believe we're starting off like criticizing Diane Keane's
sartorial choices. A woman who has a very distinct, I love it style that, okay, I just want
to clarify. No, it works perfectly for her. It's a great style for her. I think we're all
a fit. I mean, look, let's, I'm going to get one thing straight off here. I'm a fan of
all the ladies in this movie and some of them in. Dianne Keith is by far my favorite of them. I've loved her in movies since I was young.
She's amazing. I find her to be like such a unique personality in film in a way that she
is somehow, but she is somehow like a brilliant dits, you know, that's always been like,
but she can do other things. But when she is more herself in the movies, that's how it
comes off. But it's not that much going herself in the movie says how it comes off.
But it's not that much going on in this movie.
So if we got to talk about something, I guess we'll talk about Diane Kees clothes, which
is too bad because she does dress great.
Her style is fantastic, you know.
I there was I couldn't find actual like backup for the, you know, a letterbox review that
claimed that this movie existed because what's your face?
Candace Bergen.
Candace Bergen wanted to take a trip with these ladies to Italy.
And that's why she pitched it.
I couldn't find any confirmation, but we tried texting Candace Bergen.
Oh, I should have.
Did you ask Candy about it?
I do like it on the way.
On my friend Candy.
No, hold up.
Let me finish this thought.
No, okay, sorry. about it. I do like it on the way my friend candy. Something that I just as much as we may have like called the original book club then and we have said
over the years that this is the least movie something can be and be a movie like this
movie. This is really it makes it makes 80 for Brady look like a richly textured epic.
I will say, did some backup for that Candace Bergen theory is that on the Wikipedia entry
under possible sequel, it says Bergen set a possible third film could take place at Burning
Man or quote Hong Kong just because.
I think she really is just pitching.
Yeah, just pitching places she wants to go. Yeah.
So, Kandis, Oregon is the Adam Sandler of, of, of,
of older female actors, where it's just like, where am I taking a vacation?
Okay, my friends will come, we'll make a movie.
The, well, and this movie begins with our, our, our heroes in quarantine.
And we did the first book club movie right at the start of quarantine, right?
Yeah, that's probably where they at the start of quarantine, right?
Yeah, that's probably where they got the idea. Yeah, I can't remember how time was.
I feel like we did it.
For some reason, I feel like it was the first movie we did entirely remotely.
When I was like, actually had COVID and was like, I'm going to die.
I at least all die doing what I love talking about book club.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe that's why book club, the original I remember affecting me emotionally.
Maybe I know a lot of COVID.
I think there's going to be a time when flop historians look back at this period and
they're like, Dan was very emotional for a couple years when he watched the movies.
Oh, that's because everyone was going through the apocalypse.
That's why I'm happy.
Norm, Norm Le Dan was known as Stoneheart McCoy because because he was a walking,
but that's hard.
Glomgold, they called.
It's hard for the Jack of the same name.
Cold is the tomb.
Cold is a ghost's hand on your shoulder while you're taking a shower in a haunted bathroom.
It's especially cold because you're not wearing a shirt.
So guys, we talk about what happens in the book, the next chapter. on to bathroom. It's especially cold because you're not wearing a shirt.
So guys, we talk about what happens
in book love the next chapter.
And the title does open it up for more chapters.
It's just the next chapter.
Yeah, it doesn't say final chapter.
Like I'm just saying.
So many of the final chapter is that it somehow
it ends with them on the lip of a volcano
as the world is crumbling around them.
And they have to like, they have to steal a gem
from an evil warlord that's using it to control the earth. Like, well, this is like ice, nine or some shit.
Yeah. So how they ended up in a in stormbringer. And literally the forces of chaos are making
the earth unstable beneath their feet. Yeah. But it ties into whatever book they were
just reading. We're getting their meeting stormbringer by by Michael Morecox. So they're
like, well, this is just like when Elric called it called
upon the forces of law to help them.
Yeah, they're like, let's do another dirty book like 50 Shades
of Grey.
This author's name is Morkock.
Yes, please.
I like some weird of the white wolf.
Now there's nothing I want to see more than that.
It is the book club.
The next chapter again, and it's the next chapter and the reading the Ellen.
What's this fun back guy all about?
I'd like to see his ebond blade.
Okay.
So the and one of them their pants falls down and the other one.
I don't need to see your Hawkmoon.
You know, so.
Any other eternal champion?'s, I don't need to see your Hawk moon, you know, so I mean, eternal champion. No, I don't. I'm familiar with the Michael Morkock universe.
Okay. Now, only through the final program that was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So you know,
a little bit about Jerry Cornelius. Sure. Yeah. With Joel and Matt McHenness, smiling
Stan, we'll get up.
Episode, whatever.
So let's get on to the book of the next chapter.
So just to refresh everybody's memories in the previous movie called Book Club, we were
introduced to four women whose character names I'm just not going to bother with.
I'm just calling them by their actor's names.
Okay.
There's no reason.
It's Diane.
That's your Diane Keaton's character's named Diane. They've been friends for decades.
They're now in a book club in the previous movie inspired by 50 Shades of Grey.
They made some changes their lives.
Free loving hotelier Jane Fonda allows herself to fall in love with Don Johnson.
Nervous widow Diane Keaton allows herself to love Andy Garcia.
Marystein Virgin rekindles her sex life with husband Craig Teenelson and
judge and elderly in-sale Candace Bergen finally,
thoughts and has sex with Richard Dreyfus.
And so that's the first movie.
That's the whole thing.
You don't need to know anymore.
We open with a voiceover.
Diane Keaton asks, how does a woman in her 70s get married?
We don't get the answer to that question yet.
First we get a long montage of the lady's meeting over zoom during COVID. This goes on for a long time. Guys, did you think we would see this much
zoom COVID footage? I was impressed with their fucking lighting rig because zoom is not,
zoom is not very charitable to poor lighting setups, but they were killing it.
I was not expecting any, so this was definitely more than that. It did see like like Dan likes to go in as a blank slate when he sees a movie, Elliot.
He calls himself a Daniela Rasa, yeah.
I didn't know that this would, I don't know that even if I looked at a synopsis, they would
focus on the fact that it started with a bunch of...
It seems weird that Book Club feels the need to be one topical and two that has to give
the characters a motivation for why they would want to go on a trip together.
Like, oh, we've stuck in our houses.
We should go on a trip together.
Yeah.
And all these things are shot, you know, like clearly one at a time.
Like, they don't seem to be interacting with anyone.
It's just like they're delivering zingers to care.
Yeah, there's a lot of zingers in this.
I think I'm not sure if I want to give them credit for trying to make the movie mean a little
bit something by tapping into a modern thing, but it does feel unnecessary.
But one thing we do learn during that time, Craig T Nelson survives a heart attack in
Candace Bergen retires from her job as a judge.
Now COVID is over and they reunite in person.
I'll say.
And Mary St. Bergen loses her restaurant.
That's true.
And her restaurant closed during COVID.
She's a chef.
Did we forget to mention that? She's a chef. It's, she's a chef. Yeah. It's surprisingly
much more important to this, this movie than it is to the previous movie. Yeah. Yeah. It's
pretty important. So the ostensibly they're getting together to talk about the alchemist by
Palo Coelho. Ask me how many copies of that I sold when I lived it, and I lived it when I worked
at Barnes Noble. I never lived at Barnes Noble. I wasn't like, I wasn't like, I wasn't like,
you know, the caprio and growing pain, sleeping in a closet. Like
I was, I sold when I was a bookseller at a at Barnes Noble, I probably sold 1700 copies
of the alchemist. It was a very popular book, very popular.
I was second only to the game and book and books you sold.
Yeah. I was unfamiliar with this book.
I read the Wikipedia article about it,
which is obviously the best way
to experience any work of literature.
So I'm sure.
No, it's a deal.
What's it about?
Well, it's based on, I guess,
sort of an old folktale just about,
like, oh man has a dream about this treasure somewhere.
It gets interpreted as like, oh, there's dream about this treasure somewhere. It gets interpreted
as like, oh, there's treasure somewhere else. He goes to that other place. And then once
he's there, he hears about another dream that the treasure was at the original place.
He had the dream about. So he goes back and gets it. And like the point is, I guess that
your treasure is where you already were or I don't even know. It seemed like it seemed like someone had taken an old
folktale and turned it into kind of a new agey like a thing about living your life.
Yes, it's a real self-help novel. It's a real self, I mean, a lot of people would buy this book
at Barnes and Noble in conjunction with the Four Agreements by Don
McGillwiz.
So it's one of those books that is a novel, but it's like a self-help novel.
The same people who would buy the Celestine prophecy would buy it, you know?
Yes, I got it.
Like again, Wikipedia, there's not a way of experiencing this book.
I could be unfair to it.
I got the impression reading about it
that it was something that I would throw across the room
and just gets.
No, wow.
Well, these ladies do not throw it across the room.
Instead, they take a somewhat inspiration,
although the book kind of feels like an afterthought.
They'll just mention it every now and then
and it feels like they just threw it in
to justify calling this movie book club
and not just like best,
or thought, and Italian Hotel, you know.
We also learned that Candace Bergen is now a
fuck machine.
She is just constantly screwing guys.
And everyone knows that she has gone from the
most spin-strish of the ladies to just,
someone is really owning her body and owning her
sexuality and waiting as inspiring to the
audience as it is annoying
to her friends.
And Jane Fonder reveals to everybody that she's engaged.
And Mary Stern, steamer, just like,
remember how we all wanted to go to Italy together?
Decades ago and we didn't,
because Diane Keaton got pregnant.
Let's do that for Jane's Bachelorette party.
And this idea is greeted with a resounding,
no, we're not gonna do that.
Guys, were you surprised?
You knew they would go to Italy, you saw the poster. Were you thrown for a loop when they said, no, we're not going to do that. Guys, were you surprised? You knew they were go to Italy. You saw the poster. Were you thrown for a loop when they
said, no, we're not going to go?
This feels like a pretty big conflict. I don't know if they're going to be able to resolve
it in the movie's run. I don't think they'll resolve it within the next 20 seconds.
Yeah. I guess not since the trip to Italy has there been a movie that had less conflict
about whether they should go to Italy or not. So, I mean, the reasons they all give are, I forget what they are, but if it were me,
I feel like the movie doesn't need this beat where they decide to go at all.
I mean, although I also texted Audrey to say that I also texted you guys, I remember, to say that if they cut out all
of the stuff that doesn't need to be in this movie, there would be no movie.
But like this part, there's no reason to go through this, unless they're literally
doing a Joseph Campbell.
Okay, they got to refuse the call.
I think all of the reasons that I would give to not take a trip to Italy are not the reasons
that this movie gives, which are like, I don't know, that's like a lot of money in fuss.
Well, that, a person who is not a retired rich person would say, I have a life, I can't
just pick up and run off to Italy.
This is expensive.
I don't know if I can afford it.
I have to go to the trouble of booking it and planning it.
But these characters live in a fantasy world where they have unlimited money and unlimited
time. And so they can just up and go, I mean, later on, as we'll see,
they lose their luggage and they're like, I guess, left to buy new things.
And it's like, the wildest moment for the whole movie. And they lose their luggage. And
I'm like, are you telling me I'm going to have to go through the rest of this movie without
being able to appreciate the signature style of Diane Keaton and Jane Fonda. That's wild. But nope,
it's barely a roadblock. There is no reason. It doesn't bother them. And either they are so rich
that they can just buy new everything, which is where they they are. Or all the characters
are such devout Buddhists that they're like possessions, they're, they're transitive. You can't
hold on to them and all desire leads to separate. It doesn't tell us what it is. don't know which, I mean, there is a little bit of text that suggests that Jane Von
does not a Buddhist and that she is looking at churches for her wedding.
And with Don Johnson, maybe it's just that Don Johnson is a devout Catholic in this movie.
It doesn't really come up that much.
And Don Johnson thinks Jane should go.
And the fact that they have this conversation in front of a statue of St. Christopher, the
patron saint of travelers, they take that as a sign.
Now, does it hurt your gut? You guys, I'm sure, were like, oh, that's beautiful.
Does it hurt at all to know that St. Christopher probably did not exist? Was probably not a real person?
I mean, I, the amount that I care about the saints could not be on the floor.
For protein. I just, I know. When I think about St. Christopher and I think, well, according
to tradition, he is a giant with a dog's head. I want him to be a real person so badly, but it's not, but he wasn't, you know,
so, I mean, he posed that question to me as if I believe in the Christian gods. And we all know
I don't. That's true. I don't know if any of us do. I mean, I certainly don't. Maybe Dan does.
He can, we can leave it up to the next episode of the Peach Pit when we talk about our faith.
Then Candace, she swears a lot over, speak
her phone and they're embarrassed in the church. Candace Bergen's cat dies. Another omen,
she has nothing holding her back from going to Italy now. And I wish this, this had turned
into a kind of like, don't look now type thing where she's seeing her cat around Italy.
It's a sign that she's in danger. Then she gets stabbed by a little, like a little
hairy person. Yeah. And like a cat, like a cat stabbed by a cat, like a little hairy person. Yeah.
Spoiler like a cat, I've got cat stabbed by a cat in the red jacket.
And meanwhile, lifelong bachelor, Andy Garcia, who is now Diane Keaton's bow, he obviously
wants to get married, but Diane Keaton, she is anti-marriage now.
She doesn't want a part of it.
They all fly to Rome.
Hey, guys, if you're, if you're, she looks like you put the least effort in by the way.
Which is, yeah, I would say it doesn't look like he's trying very hard.
But I think put in an appropriate amount of effort to his role in this film, book, love,
the next chapter.
I mean, that's like run a race over that face, but.
I mean, nobody is, nobody is putting in an enormous amount of effort.
I would like, I feel like the MVP of the movie is probably the actor, Jim Carlo Giannini, who will run into later. We'll talk about it when he gets
to it. But they fly to Rome. Hey, guys, what would be the most cliche song for them to play
as they fly to Rome? Rome by the B 52s. Oh, no, that would still be more exciting than what they do,
play, which is Mamba, Italian O, a song I genuinely don't like. I don't understand why it still exists. It is clearly a novelty song.
Why is it still exists?
It's a suggestion, we should go in the next hour.
I'm going to tell you.
Mamba, Italianno.
And maybe it's only because it's a song that I used to have to listen to a lot when I
worked at that same Barnes Noble where I was selling people copies of the Alchemist.
Yeah, a little Italy.
It was an album that was in the playlist called Mob Hits and our manager was telling
and she's like, I love these songs.
So we'd have to hear Mamba, Italian, O, three or four times a day at least.
And it's just like, Volare, is that one there?
I don't remember, but they did literally have that, that, that, that, that, that, that,
that, you know, the tear and tell.
Tear and tell, yeah.
Yeah.
So anyway, there's a montage them walking around Rome.
They make a lot of jokes.
They make a joke about what Candace Bergen calls her Fanny pack.
And I'm like, I love it.
They're finding new variations on the same material from 80 for Brady.
Yeah.
And there's, I think they did that scene in that scene in that like a square on the, was
steps in it in Rome that I just the other day saw
a Tom Cruise getting a car chase in the new mission.
Paul.
Maybe it was the same day.
Was that the Spanish steps or are they different steps?
I don't know.
They, there's no sign.
And so they spend a lot of time looking at nude Roman statues and just riffing jokes about
them.
And it's like, this is what the audience that's coming to this wants to see, which is
these four ladies making sex jokes about statues in beautiful Roman settings.
But all of them seem like jokes that were improvised on the day.
Like let's just do a couple more.
And none of them were as good as the whatever they had scripted.
So in a normal movie, they'd be tossed out.
Because all of these are like, okay, I guess that's kind of a joke.
Like sort of funny.
Oh, look, he's remained hard for centuries because he's made of stone as a statue.
They're like really obsessed with the penises on these statues.
They are old late, out Dan.
If you don't spend time around older women much, it's in my experience, spending time around my grandmothers.
Penises is 80% of what they think about.
And 20% is what are we gonna eat next?
And the other 80% is penises, stories about penises,
they've owned, what penises are around them at the moment.
Yeah.
Just judging by the sample set of my two grandmothers,
this is what they talk about.
I gotta say, I love that.
As a movie, it was funny to me that like, there were a couple
of, like at the beginning, it's all just sort of montages, but not like high energy,
quick cut montages, just sort of like leisurely montages of them, looking at penises and
making jokes about how they're old now.
Yeah. I mean, the thing is the, the, the, your focus audience on this, your,
your ideal audience cannot take a quick cut montage. It might give them a heart attack.
Yeah, they watched that scene from taking three. Their eyeballs could fly out of their heads.
They just go into immediate cardiac arrest. I'm surprised that the movie doesn't use
Von Sternberg style slow dissolves between the different cuts just to make it, it is to easy you in.
But anyway, all this fun, riffing on these statues, Dicks, it ends when Marystein Virgin catches
Craig T. Nelson on the kitchen spot camera eating bacon in her kitchen.
He's not supposed to do that.
He had a hard attack.
He can't eat bacon.
And now when the cats, when the cats away, the mouse is going to eat bacon, I don't think
so.
But there's only one way to get over this.
Wedding dress shopping montage, they take Jane Fonda to what looks like the most expensive
wedding dress shop tailor shop in the world, probably. They all put on dresses. We don't
even get, we don't get that much of them shaking their heads back and forth. No, it's the
best part of a trying on montage. But I like this scene. I wouldn, and so give me a dress, Serena, montage, please.
I will admit, and it may surprise you, I don't know a lot about shopping for a wedding
dress.
But at high end places, do they typically like when all four of the people there want to
try on dresses, even though one of them is a bride?
I would say probably yes, that those dresses are so expensive, that your job is to sell
one of them.
And if it takes pouring champagne down their gullets until they're so drunk, they don't
even know what they're doing.
It takes all them training addresses, like just selling one dress and that probably pays
his rent for a month.
So he'll let them try on whatever, he'll let them try on his clothes.
This is the Taylor.
You want to get married in this?
Like, like, they can, they can pee on a couple of the dresses just to see how the fabric absorbs
or if it bounces stains off as long as he sells one dress, he's fine.
And luckily, he sells as we later find out two dresses because the insist I ain't getting
wear dresses big black dots.
And as we said earlier, episode, they say that's you as a dress and they are totally right. This is whoever, I'm going to say
this. This movie should be nominated for no Academy Awards except for costume design
because that dress is so perfectly captured, dying, Keaton's soul in the form of a dress.
And that's just good. That's just good costume design.
I feel like when the dress is first presented, it is hatless. And I'm like, ooh, it's missing
something. Subject is hatless. Where is the, where is the wide-bring hat?
Don't worry, she's gonna get it because she needs, she needs to dress like she's about
to get, she's about to go con somebody in a poker game on a river boat in the form of
her hat, you know.
It's not a dying heat outfit unless Harold Hill hands her his hat to put on top of it.
So they hang out and drink and they're just having a good time until a street caricaturist
who's drawing a sexy picture of Candace Bergen insists that they have to be a regular
picture of Candace Bergen.
Sorry, I apologize, it was redundant, it was redundant what I said.
And the other thing is they're all like, look at her, like with all the men.
And it's like Candace Bergen was, you know, I mean, they were all of these women were notorious
beauties throughout their careers. But Candace Bergen specifies that like notorious, I mean, they were all of these women were notorious beauties throughout their careers, but Kinesberg respect that like notorious because the crimes they committed
through their beauty. But Kinesberg, especially when she was young, it was like she was treated
just as a, you know, she was, she was the blonde goddess, you know, and things like that.
So it makes sense. Anyway, they, they're like, but again, their rich retirees, so they're
like, I assume they already paid for hotel rooms in Rome, but they're like, let's go to
Venice, let's get to Venice, everybody. We're going to ven it up. They go to the train station.
Here's where they make the only mistake of the movie. They hand off their luggage to
the porters at the train station. And the porters seem genuinely surprised that they're receiving
luggage. They only, only to learn when they finally get to Venice after a long train trip, the train
station doesn't have porters.
Their luggage has been stolen.
Although, I don't know if you can call it stealing if someone literally hands you the luggage.
It's possible those guys were just wearing vests.
I know that they're not rolling fast.
They comment on that.
Yeah, they comment on that.
Yeah, they could be bike messengers.
Now, much like in a similar film, 80 for Brady, an important item has now been lost and
will much like an 80 for Brady not have any real bearing on the plot, even more so, in
fact.
Like this is, it is wild to read a witch losing all of their log, it seems to impact them,
not one bit other than some brief distress and dying,
keeping it, and admitting, like, oh, I had the ashes of my husband.
Yeah.
And I see that, like, the only time I got mad at the movie, like I yelled at the screen
at one point during the scene, just tell them, because like, it's the most ridiculous,
like, waffling around, like, they're all like, no, it's like, it's the most ridiculous waffling around like,
they're all like, no, it's fine.
It doesn't matter.
We want like, there's no, like she's clearly in distress.
I'm like, why are you doing this movie?
There's no reason why she wouldn't just tell her friends like, I had my husband's ashes.
Well, she's embarrassed.
She knows it's illegal.
And, and also, because I don't know if you ever saw the episode of my secret addiction,
where the woman is eating her husband's ashes, but it's possible it's one of those
situations.
And she brought along as a snack.
Yeah, as a snack, exactly.
Yeah.
And she doesn't want to share it with everybody.
So that's the thing.
She doesn't want to tell them because they'll be like, hmm, give me a handful of ashes.
Yeah, I mean, and she doesn't want to share.
She's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's,
you're, you're getting cranky again.
Why you, uh, eat some, another snack out of that urn, you're carrying your frown with your snack urn.
And you're snack urn, yeah.
Guys, I've traveled a little, you know, here and there. And I got to say the thought of
like losing all my luggage is terrifying. And I'm not somebody you has to travel with.
What I'm guessing is a large collection of pills.
I mean, that's something they never bring up, which you know for sure is a problem.
They all have medication and their medication is gone now, but that's the fantasy.
The fantasy is that you have.
The smart travelers, they've like all of them.
Yeah, it's all in their care.
And the carry on.
I mean, the fact that Jane fond has brought her wedding dress as carry on on the train.
It's a weird, it's a weird thing.
She also seems to be carrying it sometimes and other times she's like, it'll show up at the next stop. Yeah, my guess that continuity was not a real focus for this movie.
But it's true that you're right. And Candace Bergen she probably has all their pills in her
in her waist wallet or whatever she goes her fanny back. Now this movie, it does, I feel like we
have to, it's hard to overstate how little they seem to give a
shit that all of their worldly possessions they brought with them are gone, except for
Danny Keaton's husband's ashes.
And I was like, all right, I guess they have to, we're have to watch them buy new stuff.
They never get around to it.
So you have to assume they're just traveling through the league without toothbrushes, underpants,
like maybe they did it off camera.
I don't know.
But they seemed to have so much time in Galavian to go around they're just, they, they're just without the normal things that,
because I agree. If I lose my luggage on a trip, that's the trip is gone for the first couple
to, until I get that luggage back, it's the only thing I'm focused on.
Like, I like to think I'm fucking chill and cool, but honestly, it will stress me out.
Like, it reminds me of, there's a former colleague of Dana Mines,
Trayvon Free. He once tweeted a picture of Kanye West getting out of a taxi cab in New
York while holding a MacBook laptop by the corner between two fingers as he steps out of a cab.
And Trayvon was like, this is, I've never seen anything more rich than, you can't be more rich
than walking out of a taxi cab holding a laptop as if it's a piece of garbage that you can't be more rich than walking out of a taxicab holding a laptop as if it's
a piece of garbage that you don't mind if it falls out of your fingers, as you're getting
out of the account.
Like, it was the most, it was like just such a total idea that this computer is disposable
and I could just buy a new one in a moment if I drop this, you know.
And so that's the world they're living in.
They're living in a world of anything they want is at their back in call because they're
unlimited, they've unlimited.
They did the cheat code at the beginning for unlimited wealth and any time they need
a new outfit, they have one that matches their specific.
They're amazing style.
And although I will say losing their luggage, it at least pays off the moment that drove
me the most nuts in the movie, which is when Mary steamer, she goes, my purse is gone.
I lost my purse.
And they search for it. It turns out to be under her seat. And they spent so much time.
It, I mean, screen time is probably 10 seconds, but it felt like I was in purgatory. It felt like
I was, I was in the, I was on the long jaunt. It opened my eyes. It's not, it's her
many of them searching for a purse. This is what happens in a movie when there's so little going on. There's a point towards the end of the movie where they spoiler will get there, but they're
all assembled for a wedding.
Like any other movie, you'd be like, okay, we're seven minutes from the end.
And there's 26 minutes left in the film.
How is this possible?
What is going to happen?
Yeah.
How could time be bent so that there's still more to do in this movie?
Right away.
So, and it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it It's his interesting Brad Pitt to his kids. And he's he can't think of a name for Brad Pitt's character who we know is death and they're
like his name what they call him like what is it?
And it goes on forever.
And if you look at a cup of coffee and go Joe Black, is that how it happens?
I don't remember because there was a Conan O'Brien sketch where they used to do the thing where
they would just they would show scenes from movies and they'd mess with them in some way
and they extended that moment. So it went on for so long. I'm trying to stumble and
figure out this name. And that's what the scene feels like. Anyway, maybe they did it off
camera, buying stuff. So the ladies are pretty blusy about losing their stuff. But when the
police chief tells them he can't do much to help them, Candace is very rude to him.
And this police chief is played by Gian Carlo Jeanini, who is a major
Italian actor, was one of Lena Wirtmroller's favorite leading men. He starts swept away,
the star of seven beauties. Like he got murdered by Hannibal and the movie.
Yeah.
Hannibal.
Yes. He's in Hannibal. He's like, this is a guy, he's in, he's in the first pseudenio
Craig James Bond movies, but like, this is a guy who is a major part of Italian cinema.
And it's just very funny to see him in this movie. And I feel like he is not doing a lot in this movie, but he's
doing enough that I like him in this movie. But it's, there's just part of me that's like,
is he seeing this as a professional where it's like, hey, at least I'm working, or is he
like, I can't believe, I'm in this nonsense, this nothing of a movie. You know, is he enjoying
it or not?
I'm sure he did it because he wanted to meet these ladies.
Probably.
That's possible.
That's very possible.
So, Giancarlo, if you're listening, please write in, tell us.
Yeah, write in, yeah.
This is a scene though where I'm like, you know, it's hard to make me sympathize with
the cop in a scene, but I was kind of like, what do you expect?
Well, then you're a luggage to people and now you're like making these snide remarks about how
the police can't do much of it.
In another city, you showed up in Venice and you're telling that police chief of Venice,
hey, I handed my bags to somebody in Rome, find them for me.
There's nothing, literally nothing I can do.
I guess I'll put out an APB for your luggage in another city, but it's, so, Candace Bergen
is really out of line, but she'll learn her lesson.
And we do not bought, they ride around Venice and they stay for free at Jane fondest friends
luxury hotel.
We never see them buy new toothbrushes.
At the hotel, Candace Bergen does not waste time.
She flirts with Usman, a retired English professor.
My favorite performance.
He is hitting on her hard and this is played by an actor named Hugh Quarshi who was.
You mean Captain Panaka from Star Wars, the Van a Metta.
That's what he's best known for.
Yeah, he was also in Highlander.
He's in a lot of stuff also.
He had a lot of charm in this.
Yeah.
And he thinks that he thinks that pretty good Italian cover of Gloria, Carrie and he later.
Sure. He also appeared in Fantastic Beasts, The Crimes of Grindelwald. So he's been in
a flop house movie before.
Cool.
But yeah, he, so he invites them to a party. There's a scene where Jane Fonda and Don Johnson
are flirting over text silently with no words. And you have to assume they just told them
to walk around a room pretending to text and then just put in like fake texts later. And there's no reason.
What do they put in the dirtiest?
I'm imagining my cock and you write in the right now. Guess where? No, I'm imagining it in
me. Guess where?
Years? No. No. Yes. That is hot.
And then Jane Fonda watches this at the premiere and is like, what did you do to my movie?
Anyway, so they go to this fancy dinner.
They don't have to worry about a hotel room.
They're staying at Jane's friends hotel.
They go to a fancy dinner that Uzman has invited them to.
It's a lot of fun.
Uzman sings Gloria and Mary joins them on the accordion, but more importantly, Mary Steen
Bergen learns that the chef, where they're having the dinner, is her old cooking school
boyfriend, Gianni.
Uh oh.
Wait, she's married.
She's married.
I guess there's no rules when you're in Venice, right, guys?
When you're in Italy, yeah, what happens in Venice stays in Venice because the water
levels rise so high that you trapped there.
There's no way to get out.
It's dangerous.
It's so sick.
It's so sinking.
What if at the end of back to the future, he said, where we're going, we don't need roads
and they just went to Venice?
It didn't even wear to it if they went to roads in Greece.
I don't know how to go to roads.
And you're like, what?
You said the opposite to you.
No, I said we're going to roads.
No, you didn't. You said where we're going, we don't need roads. You said the opposite to you. No, I said we're going to roads.
No, you didn't.
You said where we're going, we don't need roads.
You misheard me.
Marty, you misheard me.
I said we're going its roads.
Why would you phrase it that way?
It doesn't make any sense.
Anyway, that was a cut scene from the back of the Future Part 2.
Greek vacation, yeah.
So there's no time traveling in this one.
Yeah, no, there's time traveling.
They end up in the wrong universe and the colossus of Rhodes is a giant biff.
It's a giant biff.
Yeah, that was what an amazing second movie that would have been.
If instead they went to ancient Greece to and bifles, biff's ancestor is there and they
accidentally set it up so that he becomes the king of Greece forever.
Oh man, what a, what does he that's so badly now?
Yeah, they set up some kind of imperial cloning system so that it's always just biffs after
biffs.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Because the thing is Archimedes finds the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the flux capacitor
and he's able to reverse engineer it into amazing technological feats.
Archimedes is Merlin's bird, right? Is that the situation?
Yeah. Yes, Merlin's mechanical bird for glad to tie it.
Because that's happening in the same universe. Yes.
Thank you. Okay. Yeah. Uh, well, I will now I want to see that movie. What really
family? I'm sorry to join in on that. I was too busy thinking about Negatronic Teenage Warhead of Rhodes.
Anyway.
Anyway, Mary gets a tour of Gianni's kitchen while Jane and Diane have a heart of, while
Jane and Diane have a heart to heart talk, which one of many heart to heart talks or
characters will have starting at this point.
The movie, the tension, the sexual tension is so thick between Mary and Gianni.
And I have to say,
during this scene of just the two of them hanging out, they did a really good job of just communicating
through their mood, kind of this feeling of kind of awkward sexual attractiveness and
membrane what it was like. And having a history, Mary, Steve Virgin and this actor who,
I don't remember his name, Vincent, Vincent Riyote is this actor and Riyota.
And they just do a really fantastic, you, of course, you'll remember him from your favorite
movies, Captain Correlli's Mandolin and Under the Tasking Sun.
You're always talking, you're real, you're, you're, you're real sun head and real man head.
They do a really good job in this.
This is a scene that is in a dumb movie.
It goes to a dumb place.
And then they immediately ruin it with this.
They immediately ruin it.
Stupid misdirect.
With a misdirect where it looks like they're inside the chef's van that's inside his kitchen
and it's rocking back and forth and they're grunting and you're like, up, they gave
in and they had sex.
Nope, they're inside the van making pasta together.
They've never been wild if they actually just had sex, right?
I don't know. To be actually just had sex, right?
I don't know. To be honest, they're old.
She's in a country, her husband's got to be in it.
I'm not saying it's like wild if in the real world,
those two characters had sex.
Oh, I see. But in this book.
I'm saying in this specific movie,
that was the choice that made me.
Well, only because it's not her character
because right after this, the police chief catches Candace
Bergen and Osmond having sex on a boat in the canal.
I mean, he was in the Phantom Man.
I get it.
I get it.
I mean, he's important to us.
We look for an asexual partner where you in the Phantom Menace, you have.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they go, yeah, I played one of the one of the battle bots.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
Don't sure you have.
And he's actually transmitted diseases.
Where are you in the Phantom Manace?
I'm not. Yeah. Yeah. Look, look, look, Misa will say whatever it takes to get you into this
bedroom. Well, I don't know. You would seem like you were in the Phantom. Yeah. So the next
morning they decide, you know what? Venice, Drules, Tuscany, Rules, let's drive straight to Tuscany
because we've already used up this
city. And they just drive the countryside.
Do you love this sequence? Because at no point they're driving, do you see another car on
the road? They'll drive through empty towns. It is like a post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Yeah, this is the 28 days later of Italy as far as these these ladies are concerned. And
again, that would be a great turn for this movie to take.
It's like night of a comet or something where for whatever reason they have slept through
the end of the world and now they don't realize it.
And there's still on this bachelor trip and zombies are showing up.
There's a character shows up where Jane Fonda assumes it's a stripper, but it's just a cop.
What if it was a zombie?
And she assumed it was a zombie themed stripper.
Guys, that'd be even funnier.
But let me give it a listen.
Even funnier, because this might be the funniest thing I've ever seen.
Yeah. So they're driving. It's set to Italian language,
Kenny Lagan's music. So you know this movie's great. You know exactly who the audience is for.
And Mary. Which one? I'm all right from Caddy Shack. No, no, it's the like, what I want,
bump, bump, bump, you know that one. So it's any logins, right?
Paul, I know that's the whole. Oh, sorry So it's any logins, right? Paul and I just leave it. No, that's the whole notes. Sorry, it's Italian language, hollinotes.
I don't care.
I don't like any of that stuff.
So I apologize to Mr. Miserable and Mr. Oat.
You have to start liking it.
Guys, when I know that I'll give you two old, when I start listening to Steely Dam, and
that'll be my entry point to those songs.
So Mary, I apologize, it's Italian language hauling notes.
Or as they're called there, hauled at oats. And a haul, e-oats, what's it?
What's the answer to Italian?
I think Italian. Perfect.
E-oats, yeah.
Ed is French, that's right. So Mary sees Johnny has texted her and she's like, oh no,
this is going to show up in my iPad at home. My husband will see it. He's going to have
another heart attack. And the other ladies give her a tough love speech. They literally
say, okay, tough love. And this is again, one of many speeches that they
will give throughout the movie to each other where they start, okay, tough love. I don't
remember this for the first movie. Is this a thing that they did or are they introducing
it now as if it's always been one of the things?
I don't know. I like it when I like going friends giving each other tough love.
Yeah.
No, but just literally say, okay, tough love.
As if like, when I say, when I say, you guys should get me tough love sometimes instead of just soft love all the time.
It's just the idea that you can say tough love and then whatever you say after that,
cannot be taken in an effect.
I mean, first off.
You can't be offended that.
Yeah, you say it.
You're asking for a spanky.
Secondly, I think the question is just like, was this a thing that was established as
a thing that they did?
And I don't remember. I don't think it was, but I don't remember.
Maybe it was.
Anyway, the ladies reveal, so they get a flat tire.
They think of it a tough love.
They say, your fear of your husband's death is driving you apart.
You're not letting your husband live and it's hurting your marriage.
And they get a flat tire, night falls.
And the ladies reveal to Jane, we have to get to Tuscany because Don Johnson is waiting
for you there.
We arranged it so you could be married as a surprise in Tuscany.
And if I was Jane Fonda, my reaction would be, fuck you.
What are you doing?
It's, so you're going to spring my own wedding on me as a surprise.
What kind of friends are you?
But instead, she's like, but this flat tire is a bad omen.
Maybe that universe is saying I shouldn't get married and a cop shows up to help.
Jane Fonda assumes it's a stripper because he's attractive.
And what better way to arrange having a stripper show up than to be at a random latitude and
longitudinal spot in the middle of the Italian countryside?
Does she think that they plan to that good, you know, then drop to pin and said, the
stripper, come to this pin.
I hope you're within an hour of this spot.
That is, all of that is not entirely implausible.
What bothers me about this is, you said like a while ago, he tried is how Jane Fonda persists
in like fondling him and not believing no matter how many times everyone else is like,
no, no, no, that's a real cop.
Like, fuck you movie.
This, this, this, this, yeah, bullshit.
It is one of those first moments where a character does something stupid because the movie
is going to think it's funny.
But anyway, they get thrown in jail.
In jail, they each give each other tough love speeches the next morning.
The police chief of Venice shows up.
I guess he has jurisdiction in Tuscan.
He heard the ladies were there and he decided to, well, maybe he's the police chief of
all of Rome and he just stops at town after town on his rounds. He heard the ladies were there and he decided to, well, maybe he's the police chief of all
of Rome and he just stops at town after town on his rounds.
Like, why is he there?
Why would it be like, oh yeah, we heard you were, you're the guy who put in the report about
four old ladies missing their luggage.
I think we've got the old ladies you're looking for.
Come to Tuscan, he overnight.
But anyway.
Well, he has a, he has a spoiler alert.
Heller, heller got her.
Oh, actually, you know what?
I forgot.
There's a reason he's there. They found Diane's husband's ashes
and he's returning them. That's what I don't know how he knows that he's that they're
there, but he's returning the ashes. She probably like one of those like finders in the
yeah. Yeah. He dropped it. He dropped it. He dropped it in the air tag in her bag.
There's a low jack on the issues and on them. Yeah. Of my he tried. It's just much like.
So what I heard. So my family, some family members of mine, not my, not my immediate family, but my,
my relatives of mine.
They went on a trip to Dubai on a vacation.
And apparently when they got there, the Dubai government was accustomed.
They were like, so here are the chips to put in your phones so that you can use them
in Dubai and we can track you.
And they were like, oh, wait a minute.
What?
So maybe this is like that.
And when they arrived in Italy, the Italian government just tracks every, every suspicious
group of old ladies that shows up.
The candidates.
Well, they're looking for that infernal French criminal, Lupin, who has been seen around
the countryside.
And they think one of them, one of these four might be Lupin.
He's a master of disguise, Elliot.
Not Lupin, the third, the Japanese animated guy, right?
No, not that one.
No, he's great.
The first one.
His grandfather, the first one.
He's immortal.
Yeah, the rabbit as they call him.
So the next morning, the police chief shows up.
Candace Bricken gives him a tough love speech so that he will free them from jail.
And you know what, they've got to get to Tuscany in like 15 minutes.
There's only one way to get there.
Police chopper. Lear jet. Oh no only one way to get there. Police chopper.
Lear jet.
Oh no, he flies them there in a police chopper.
They leave.
They have to hold the map.
Yeah, a tesseract.
Thankfully, there's a wrinkle in time that they can use to get there and Mrs. What and Mrs.
Who and Mrs. Witcher there to find them to take them right away.
On the way, they stop through Antbeast's realm of darkness.
But anyway, they on the way, he gives Diane Keaton permission to scatter her husband's
ashes and she accidentally drops the whole urn because she's real clutz.
And we don't see it land on an Italian person's head and kill them, but maybe that's what
happens. Yeah, you expected somebody to be sitting in an outdoor cafe and be like, yeah, I'd
like some Parmesan cheese and then all the ashes to land.
And they're like, oh, that's too much, but I'll like it anyway.
They're like yummy.
Oh, delicious.
It's smoky.
I refuse to pay extra for the black truffle shavings.
Then you want to get it.
And then the ashes fall.
They go, the jokes on you, free black truffle shavings. Oh, tastes like human. Yeah. Did you say tastes like human? No,
like human like human ashes. How do you know what are that tastes like? It's a long story.
Anyway, you remember that movie alive? That was a you know, but after I watched it, I really wanted to know what it was like. I charted a plane with my five most delicious looking friends.
I was despite all my efforts.
It never crashed.
Anyway, it's a funny story, but I was on a girl's high school soccer team and well, long
story short.
I guess that's kind of funny.
I mean, the book club joke was book club. There's no book
club. So in our book club episode, I love it. Yeah. And so they some, this is the moment,
I think Dan, maybe you had the same reaction I did, which is yeah, they're at the hotel
where the wedding is taking place. And I looked at the runtime and saw there were still
30 minutes left in the moving crazy. I was like, what else in this plotless movie, what needs to be resolved?
What could possibly happen?
Well, the excitable wedding planner tells them the wedding is already, Andy Garcia is even
there with the dress, Diane Keaton, worth the wedding dress storage.
She gets to wear it.
Jane fondness nervous.
She feels sick.
What if this wedding shouldn't happen?
It's by the way, hold on.
We can't pass over the fact that it is wild that Diane Keaton is wearing this wedding shouldn't happen? Which by the way, hold on. We can't pass over the fact that it is wild that Dynkeet and his wearing this wedding
dress to someone else's wedding.
Well, it's wild until you see the turn of a vows that have.
But unless she's a pre-cog, this is a strange decision that she has made.
I mean, they're breaking all the rules.
This is her first marriage at the age of 80, you know, this is, and that should have been
the tip off at the beginning, which is, she says, how does a 70 year old woman get married?
You should have known, Jane Fonda is not getting married in this, because Jane Fonda, I'm
sorry, Jane, you should never reveal a woman's age, but she's not 70.
Like this, you know, she was in 80 for Brady.
We know she's in her 80s.
It's almost like Jane Fonda doesn't think we watched all over the police all the time.
Yeah, exactly.
Mr. Policeman, I gave you all the clues to understand Jane Fonda's true age.
They're in the title.
Yeah.
So, Jane Fonda's nervous, she's sick.
Now Diane Keaton has to give her a talk about not being afraid, just go with love,
et cetera.
Don Johnson looks great.
Yeah, Don Johnson looks great.
But the priest is missing.
How can they get married without a priest?
Oh, no oh no.
Wedding's over. We need to have somebody who is ordained and legally allowed to marry
people in Italy. Unfortunately, we don't have that. So Candice Bergen steps in to say,
she'll perform the ceremony, which I was like, you are an American judge. Can you just step
in and perform a marriage in Italy? And also, did they get a license or permit? I don't know
how it works in Italy. Maybe in Italy is more Lucy Goosey, but double those objections to what is about to happen.
But, uh, yeah. And so I only know one person who I forgot married in Italy. I meant to ask her
ahead of time, what process they had to go to. I forgot. So I apologize guys. I didn't do my due
diligence, but it's okay. But apparently you can just step in as a judge and just perform the
ceremony. It doesn't matter.
Does she have jurisdiction?
It doesn't matter.
It's book club.
They make their own rules.
They're lugging it's all they don't care.
The police fly them around and let them dump earns onto people's heads like it's whatever.
These ladies rule Italy.
So that's when the wedding comes started yet.
Craig T Nelson calls Mary and is like, oh, so this guy texted these pictures and she's
like, I can explain.
She doesn't have to.
He's at the wedding too.
He showed up.
It's amazing.
Did he bring dober with him?
Yeah, he doesn't go anywhere with that dober.
Yeah, he has to.
And this is where I thought this movie is going to do something kind of cheesy, but sweet,
but they don't do it.
She goes, I wish I could just snap my fingers and you would be here.
And I wanted to say, go ahead, snap your fingers.
And then she would snap them and he would show up.
I thought that would have been like cheesy, but sweet.
But instead he goes, I don't know.
May I don't you think the flowers are a little bit too much?
Maybe there's one flower too much and he shows up with a flower for her.
And I was like, that doesn't make any fucking sense.
Yeah.
It's anyway, I didn't like it.
They missed a real opportunity there.
He should have gone back to rewrites for that one. Yeah, exactly. He didn't care. No one cares. No one cares about book love
the next chapter. And why should they? To be honest, again, they're putting the amount
of effort into this that it deserves. During the ceremony, Jane Fonda, she gives Don Johnson
a whole speech about she never thought she would get married, but now she's in love with
them. And she's got love, go. Then he gives a speech back to her about how he never wants
to hold her back. He never wants to trap her in a marriage.
You know what?
What he loves about her is her freedom and her free spiritiness.
So he gets down his knee and he proposes again, he goes, will you not marry me and everyone
laughs and Candace frowns as them not man and wife.
And if I were a guest who flew all the way to Tuscany for this wedding and they decided
you know what?
We're just doing joke, not marry a thing.
I'd be so fucking pissed.
I would wait until I see the reception, Elliott.
If the baby was good and there was open bar,
I'd be cool with it.
If they're like, hey, guess what?
A lot of the gronies, a lot of the...
I kept him panacadity fucking Gloria again.
Jesus and meats, you know.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
It's all stuff I can't get where I live.
The United States of America. You're right. It's all stuff I can't get where I live. The United States of America. Here's what everything.
This bottom, look, I understand like there are a lot of philosophical reasons not to get married.
And if that is your feeling about it, I am not going to say like marriage is the root. I don't
think that marriage is the root for everyone. But there's a weird thing that happens in movies sometimes
where like all it is is like, oh, you know, like I just don't,
I don't know, like they just like feel weird about marriage
like are like they don't want to be like pinned down.
And yet like they're making still kind of a lifelong
commitment to one another.
And in the context of a movie like when it's not for like that kind of a lifelong commitment to one another. And in the context of a movie,
like when it's not for like that kind of philosophical reason,
it always sort of annoys me.
I'm just like, just get married.
Like you're getting old,
like make sure that you can get into the hospital
and see one another.
I mean, well, that's the,
I mean, at this point,
they should get married for exactly just that reasons
that they can make medical decisions about each other.
Yeah. Like, I don't know. at this point, they should get married for exactly just that reasons that they can make medical decisions about each other.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know.
This idea of like, oh, I'm still such a free spirit, but we're still going to be together
forever.
I don't know.
But it means that every day they are making a choice deliberately to stay together.
Yeah.
If they're not just following momentum, they're not just doing it because they're legally bound,
they're making that choice every day.
And they don't have that many days left as Jane Fonda keeps saying.
So there's a, I mean, there's a fair number of jokes about how they all think they're
going to die soon and they're not going to be married for long.
Like they, they're, they're very open with Jane Fonda about like, you got to do it now
because you're going to be dead soon.
And maybe that's the dark heart of book club.
Anyway, Dan, don't worry.
Don't worry.
This, this, the holy,
I can't believe we went all this way
and we don't get a single fucking wedding.
What is going on?
Stewart, don't get mad,
because the holy, solemn covenant of marriage
will claim two victims this day.
Just not the victims you thought,
because Andy Garcia, in the laziest possible way,
pulls Diane Keaton aside and is like,
hey, let's get married, babe.
And then Candace Bergen, again,
the laziest way, marries them.
They don't even have any of you.
Bro, can I have that ring?
Yeah.
Bro, if you're not gonna use those ring,
hand him to me,
jams it on Diane's finger,
Candace is like, you doing this?
And they're like, death.
And then they do it.
And-
Yeah, and this is the moment in which I'm like,
you need a fucking wedding place.
Yeah.
Anyone who's been married knows
that there's a lot of hoops you have to go through.
Well, and even on top of that,
it was established in book club
that Dynchiken has grown children.
And she's like, and they don't need to be here for this.
And Leslie showed up for my best friends
last minute wedding in Italy,
which seems like a big ask of your children
for them to attend that.
So she's like, I don't care, I'm doing it. They get married,
they drive off and they just married a car. It turns out in this big twist and M night
shlomishamalon asked a twist that it was Diane Keaton talking about herself in the
VO and Diane Keaton runs out of the car to give her friends one final hug. And then
it's off to the credits as what plays again. You guessed it. God damn it. Mombo Italian.
We're able to hear it again.
Were you able to see the credits?
Because on Wikipedia or some, or IMDB,
somewhere it told me that like the credits
had a bunch of like behind the scenes shots
that I actually kind of wanted to see.
But I think I watched this on e-coc.
I don't know, like whatever it was,
like immediately cut the credits off.
There was not even an option to watch the credits.
And if it had been a movie other than Book Club,
the next chapter, that would have made me very angry.
It was interesting.
My streaming service also, it cut the movie off the moment
the credits are playing, but I think that was user error.
So I did see the credits and yes,
next to the credits, it does show
just photographs of them making the movie,
but it's not interesting.
It's like they're like vacation photos.
It's like everyone posing, everyone having a great time.
I wanted to see Ted Danson show up.
I heard that there is a photo of Ted Danson there
and he and with Mary are different.
Is he Danson?
No, he is not Danson.
It is.
And honestly, if Ted dancing, dancing tonight was that was was a show that was going up.
I'd go see it for sure, but it's a.
He danced a lot in body heat. I mean, if you call that, I mean, little dancing.
It's not like he's half dancing. It does a little bit of like shuffling, but it's not,
it's not a number. It's like a big dance number or something like that.
Uh, maybe, maybe beckers more dancing than you imagine. but it's not, it's not a number. It's like a big dance number or something like that. Maybe Becker is more
a musical number.
More dancing than you imagine.
More dancing than I'd imagine from a
second-year-old body heat.
Not the character I expect to do the dancing
and body heat.
But yes, so he shows up.
And to be honest, seeing Ted Danson
one of those pictures was the most exciting
thing in the movie.
But it's just one of those things.
They want to show you how much fun
they had making the movie, which I don't,
yes, you know, I'm a big killjoy.
I don't like my professionals to have fun.
And seeing that, it's just like they're like,
look at all the fun we had, you weren't there.
Instead, you watched the movie we made,
which is not very good.
And so it felt like they were rubbing my nose
and how much fun they had on this show.
Let's get into that with final judgments,
whether this is a good bad movie,
a bad bad movie or a movie you kind of liked.
I'm gonna say off the bat, the original book club,
I was a little soft on it, I was surprised,
I was like, you know what, not great,
but I enjoyed myself.
I had a good time at book club,
it actually made me emotional
once or twice. Good to see all these people. This movie, I can't bring myself to hate it.
These are still people, performers that I love. There is a charm in seeing them, just
shuffling around, these like bad jokes.
They've been fed and putting as much professionalism in spin on them as they can.
But it is so little like what this movie is at score.
There's a basic nothingness to this film that prevents me from saying I kind of liked
it.
I will say it is bad, bad, but I don't dislike it necessarily.
Yeah, there's a bad, bad movie that I'm not mad at.
I like all these ladies, but I mean, there's nothing there.
There's barely a movie.
This is like, if you left this on for your pets to watch,
your pets would get bored.
Yeah, it's a bad, bad movie.
There's not enough there to get to hate. You know, there's
not a substance to hate. But again, yeah, these leads are super charming. They're great.
They're legends. But I guess that's our only alternative to giant IP blockbusters, right,
Ellie? Well, that's right now. It feels like the two kinds of movies that are made are
giant IP tent pole movies and this basically and movies that are explicitly aimed at the
older audience that is not interested in superheroes or I don't know, 80s.
And that's why and that's probably why for the most part like for a movie star to carry
a movie, they're almost always over 40 at this point.
Right?
I mean, that partly you could also say's, that's a result of the movie industry
forgetting how to build stars and, and prioritizing, like we're saying, IP over humans.
And so it no longer knows that.
So it's, I mean, there was, there was, I'm not going to lie guys, there was a little part
of me that, that was really depressed when I saw the trailer for Wonka or really Wonka
whatever it's called.
And I was like, oh, Timothy Schalney, there was something special about you.
And now that I've seen you in this role, a little bit of that specialist has gone away.
Like, you know, you don't think he'd be the best possible Willy Wonka?
I mean, not even just that, but I think he's just fodder for the machine now.
You know, as opposed to someone who I've seen as an interest in this.
I'll go, yeah, I'll go into just that.
Like, I've liked him in the past.
I think he's talented in walk on.
Like, this man is putting no spin on a character
that is an imp of a man.
Well, we can talk about a walk in Medita,
but it's like his performance style is wrong
for that character unless it's the transformation of someone
because, and maybe which maybe it is, because his character's, his performance style is wrong for that character unless, unless it's the transformation of someone because, and maybe which maybe it is because his character's, his performance style is a cool
kind of very quiet performance style, whereas Willy Wonka is, like you're saying, an imp of a man,
like he's, but maybe the movie is about how he finds his energy and wilder. I don't know.
Yeah, maybe it's like bonked on the head by a coconut or something.
But yeah, noob, a loompa throws a gun at him.
Like jelly being at him. It turns him into a mad man. Bonched by coconut or something. But yeah, noop aloomba throws a cone. We can't jelly bean at it. It turns into a madman.
Bounced by coconut.
Yeah.
So book club the next chapter, it is a sign of what's wrong in Hollywood right now, but
not the way you think.
Okay.
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Sounds like the perfect podcast for stew, And now here's a podcast for you podcast.
Because we've got another jumbo drawn. Do you love podcasts where people watch
slash read something and then talk about it? Do you like Stewart? Love demonstrating your
knowledge of James Joyce's Ulysses? Are you like Dan and Elliott intimidated by your friends'
knowledge of Buck Mulligan and cool cigarette cases?
Do you love the Virginia Wolf tangents and the Don't-Wary Darling and Troll-to-Evacodes?
If so, tipsy-turvy-lissies is for you.
Three friends, Eric, Wendy, and Shinjiny, talk about the fun bits of Ulysses every other Friday.
Find tipsy-turvy-lissies on Apple podcasts or Spotify and subscribe. Hmm, finally, somebody as well read as me.
Okay.
Something high has a literary.
I mean, as far as I know, the only books you've read are ulysses, Kane, and a bunch of
war hammer stuff.
And Gene will fantasy torture novels, yeah.
Hey, guys, hey, listeners, just to give you a perfect example of what haters sound like,
you just heard one. Yeah, if you a perfect example of what haters sound like. You just heard one.
Yeah, if you need an example of haters, a webster.
Hey, everybody.
I wanted to make another promo announcement here.
As of the recording of this episode, Dan and me were still on strike.
We are contractually unable to make television right now unless we make
television for ourselves that is so
loophole loophole loophole loophole,
air horn loophole air horn. So we're going independent and hitting the online airwaves and dragging
stew along with us for a flock TV, a six episode monthly one hour version of this very podcast
August through January, the first Saturday of every month, except for September when
it's the second Saturday because of Labor Day, we'll be bringing you all new flop house comedy
in an easily digestible, televisual form.
We'll be doing new PowerPoint presentations.
We'll be talking about some of the most requested and most legendary bad movies ever.
All movies we have not talked about before on the show.
And we'll be answering questions from you, the audience, we're kicking things off in August
with Beastmaster 2 through the portal of time.
And then we'll be hitting questionable classics
like Cool World over the top.
And New Key, the second worst movie.
What?
I've ever seen, yeah, I know, telling you about it.
Who wrote that down?
I thought that was a goof.
I said it, now we have to do it.
Are you busy during the live airing of the show?
That's okay, buying a ticket gets you access
to the shows recording for two weeks after the original
air date.
Tickets are $7 each for individual shows or you can buy a season pass for all six shows
for $35.
That's like getting a whole show for free.
Do the math.
I'm not lying.
Just go to theflophouse.simpletics.com for tickets and see the list of movies we'll be
covering.
Remember, that's theflophouse.simpletics.com
for our six month flock TV live series. I can't wait. Welcome home to the flophouse.
Is that our slogan? Yeah. I'm just taking TV slogans. I don't like this people. I'm stealing
their property the way they steal our property to explore. Yeah, that's true.
I'm Jordan Morris and I'm Jesse Thorne.
On Jordan Jesse Go, we make pure, delightful nonsense.
We were open awesome guests and bring them down to our level.
We get stupid with Judy Greer.
My friend Molly and I call it having the space weirds.
Pat Noswald.
Can I get a ball-rock burger and some air-gorn fries?
Thank you.
And Kumail Nanjiani.
I've come back with cat toothbrushes which is impossible to use.
Come get stupider with us at MaximumFun.org. Look, your podcast apps are already open,
just pull it out. Give Jordan Jesse Goatry. Being smart is hard. Be dumb instead.
Oh, raps. Hey, hey, hey, oh, I've got to count you in line. These clouds are really freaking me out.
I hate having to stand in line.
And boy, what do I?
These giraffes do not smell good.
No, they do not, and they've such short necks.
But I'm here and we need to get on this off.
We gotta get on the ark.
It is about to rain,
it's about to destroy humanity.
Hey, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Are you Noah?
Yeah, I know we look like humans.
We're actually, we're podcasters.
We are podcasters, so it's different. Have you heard of Ono Ross and Kerry? We investigate spirituality, claims of the paranormal stuff like that
And you have a boat and say the world's gonna end so same like something for us to check out
We would love to be on the boats. We came to by two. What do you think? Ono Ross and Kerry available on maximumfun.org
Speaking of exploiting content, let's do some letters from listeners maximumfund.org. up near, even though I lived close to tons of revolutionary war and early colonial stuff,
by far the most famous movie location was at our local mall and not just any mall movie,
but the most famous mall movie, Paul Blart Mall cop.
We all aren't fortunate enough to grow up there.
Like, don't know the dead is a more famous mall movie.
Sorry, I know that.
Uh, well, we, I mean, I don't know, I don't know at this point. I mean, does that mall?
You're more vital.
Observing report guy. We aren't all fortunate enough to grow up in the big apple or La,
La land. So recognizing a filming location can be a rare thrill. It was very exciting to see
Kevin James Segway pass the macy's that used to be a Jordan Marsh or how
they made it seem like the payla shoes was next to the Kaby toys when those aren't even
on the same floor.
It's like the bullet car chase all over again.
Or that the CBS smells like mildew because it's next to the rainforest cafe.
I'm sure it's a lot like when you guys see the stashy liberty and stuff.
Any who?
What movie?
I mean, that store, when they go past that store, Statue of Liberty and stuff, I was like,
I know that store.
What movie made you yell, hey, I know where that is.
Thanks, Jackie Last name withheld.
You know, I grew up in Eureka Illinois, not known for its big movie productions.
Nope. Didn't they shoot a Ghostbusters thing? Yeah, not known for its big movie productions. No, boss.
Didn't they shoot a Ghostbusters thing?
No, you're thinking of New York City where we're right now.
It's possible.
They shot Book Club the next chapter there, right?
No, that was in Italy.
It's possible.
It's possible.
National Lampoon's European vacation.
That was, I don't know where that was shot.
I mean, some of it was shot in Europe.
I assume I remember seeing Big Ben and such but uh
Didn't they shoot Mars needs mom?
Need is this mom?
That's an animated film. I don't know if they shot it.
Oh, you're setting your reader right?
No, can I just...
I mean it's possible that Peoria Illinois shows up in that and Jojo dancer your life is calling the Richard Pryor pseudo biopic since P Pryor's from Peoria, but I've never seen it.
That's why his name is Pryor and Peoria, sounds so similar.
So I don't have a good answer for where I grew up, but two notable things about just in general.
I remember seeing John Wick where a fight starts in a bunch of Russian baths and then goes up stairs
to a club. And I realized watching it, I'm like, oh, when I saw John Wick, I was at both
of those locations last weekend.
You were fighting Hitman.
No, I had gone to the Russian bath with my ex and then later that weekend was the WGA awards,
which were at the Edison Ballroom.
And so it was this case where it's like, as Jackie says, like, I'm like, those things
aren't connected at all.
Just two different locations, magic of the movies.
But I also remember, I saw it just recently watched past lives and there's a scene
that takes place in front of the carousel and Brooklyn Bridge Park and I was like, I
was just sitting there. I was just sitting exactly where those characters are. But what
do you guys have had anything? My hometown for Wayne, Indiana was featured prominently
in the indie movies of director Neil LeBute in the company and man, I believe opens with
a scene in the Fort Wayne International Airport. I think it's called International because there are
some Canadian flights. Because because it has never considered a part of the United States. Yeah. It's in our state charter.
I grew up in Melbourne, New Jersey.
And I could say like, there's a very well respected regional theater there and a few productions
there were filmed for great performances, but I feel like that doesn't really count.
Nope.
But and there's a scene in the movie hair that's set in short hills and I think they shot
in short hills, which think they shot in short
hills, which is a neighborhood in Melbourne, but I don't know if they did for sure. But the location
growing up that seemed to that people got the most excited about was there was a Merrill Street,
Renée Zoegre movie called One True Thing that they shot in the next door town of Maplewood,
New Jersey, where we spent a lot of time. And there used to be a diner there called the Maple
Leaf that my family eating a lot and they shot part of the movie in that diner. And for a long time, there
was a post it note above the booth where the character set that just said one true thing
booth. They didn't put a sign up. They didn't put a picture up from that scene. Just a
post it note that said one true thing booth that I assume fell down many times. And eventually
they re-did the inside of the restaurant. They just never put the post it note back
up again.
But the thing that really brings me back,
so if I ever watched that movie again,
which I don't plan on it,
that I would recognize that,
but there's two movies that were not about where I grew up,
but about places I spent a lot of time as a younger man,
that really hit me that way.
One is the movie The Landlord,
the great Hal Ashby movie,
String Boah Breaches,
that's a, it takes place in Park Slope, Brooklyn,
a neighborhood I lived in for many years,
and there are buildings there
that I recognize very well,
and I'm like, that's what that building used to be.
Before it was an expensive yoga studio,
it was a barber shop, like that kind of stuff.
And seeing that neighborhood
at a very different time,
it's history was exciting,
but the movie I have to admit,
where I got the most thrill
of seeing a place that I knew well,
and it's a dumb answer, there's a really dumb movie called Robot in the Family about
where I'm not a well-known watchable, I would call.
It's a terrible movie.
It does have what John Ristavis is in it, right?
And I just remember that robot doing a constant stream of chatter.
None of it's funny, all of it is dating.
And the main star is a, why am I forgetting his name?
You know, from like a sopranos and matrix and stuff like that.
And Joey Pants.
Joey Pants, thank you.
Joey Pants is like an inventor, an inventor, a robot.
And so much that movie was shot.
Oh, found?
Yes, from bound. Thank you.
The Joey Pants, the owner of the house that I stayed in once as an Airbnb in Long Island
and the dog next door again, barking constantly and none of us could sleep. The, and we didn't
know it was his house when we, when we Airbnb did it. You didn't open up the closets and
they were full of pants. And you're like, oh, wait a minute. Only one person
would have pants in their closet. That movie so much of it was shot on this one stretch
of Broadway in Manhattan between like 14th Street and 12th or 11th Street, where there was
a bunch of antique shops. I think they're still there. And I used to walk that stretch almost
every day, multiple times a day, when I was a student at NYU, going from my dorm on 14th
street to my classes at Washington Square. And I was like, wait a minute, I know that
stretch of Broadway so well. Like, I know each of those antique stores, I've walked by
so many times. And it was the, it was, I felt so dumb that I was watching this crappy, low-budget
movie. And I was like, oh my God, I know that stretch of Broadway. And it's like, yeah,
it's a, it's a stretch of a, a stretch of the street in the biggest city in in America, like it's been filmed many times, but that's the place where I was like,
I can't believe this is in a movie. I know that stuff. So robot in the family.
It says recommendation this week. So this one is from Parker Bennett, our friend of the
pod.
Yeah.
You're right.
I'm going to try your Parker Bennett.
Congrats on your big milestone, guys.
I was delighted to hear your commentary on a movie that didn't really qualify as a flop
except my heart.
Trust the floppers to always provide maximum fun.
Your friend of the pod, Parker Bennett, the guy who wrote the Super Mario Bros. movie that
didn't make $1.34 billion and is not at all bitter.
So like, look, this is the kind of value that we provide.
Guys, you know, what's that?
Sometimes it's narrow casting.
Sometimes it's just for the screenwriter of the Bob Hoskins Super Mario Brothers film.
Oh, okay.
But him know that he has appreciated artistically, even if financially, you know, that explains
our Super Mario Brothers head piece we put together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'm going to say, Parker, you know that if it makes you feel any better, you know,
that even if you had written this one, you wouldn't see a dime of residuals.
They come up with so many accounting tricks.
I'm constantly amazed by Ed Solomon's Twitter feed at some of the writer of Men in Black
among other things.
He writes a lot about how men in black is still every year, according to the studios losing
money.
And so he has never seen residuals off of it.
The movie that they made two sequels and then tried to expand the franchise with over a
number of years.
Never made money.
It loses money every year.
And you never know.
All of these movies went presumably all of the costs associated with the film.
Yeah.
I once I read, I don't know if this is true.
I read that one thing that studios would do is make DVDs of the movie, store them and
then destroy them.
And that way they can charge to the production, the DVD manufacturing, storage fees and destruction
fees.
And it's all the way to just not pay the people who worked on the movie money.
So, Parker, don't worry, they'd come up with all sorts of accounting tricks to make
sure you didn't see a dime of that $1 billion.
Does that make you feel better?
Sure makes me feel how do you become a studio?
Well, here's the thing. You have money and so that money makes you think you're a genius who knows more than everybody else in the world and you can do everything.
And that's it. Hey speaking of gripes with the entertainment system.
Speaking of gripes with the entertainment system, Elliot, do you want to make me yours a little explanation about what we're doing with recommendations?
If this is what we're officially doing, then yes.
I think we are.
I think we are.
Well, during this time, it's a guideline that writers are not allowed to promote things
that they've worked on.
And I know that SAG after has made it official that, in their guidelines, that actors are not allowed to promote things they've worked on. And I know that SAG After has made it official that in their guidelines that actors are not allowed to
promote things they've worked on.
And they will not influencers and people online
who are part of SAG After a to not even promote anything
coming out from the AMPTP members,
even stuff that they just like as a fan.
And I think that the flop house
were kind of riding that gray line a little bit
since we just talked about the book club,
the next chapter for an hour.
Although I don't know that we made it,
that sound that appealing.
But we would also like to follow in this.
We don't want to be directing people towards stuff
that's being made right now,
not because we want to hurt the people who made those things.
And I want to make it clear that we have nothing
that's the people who made those products.
But why are we doing advertising work or promotion
for these conglomerates and companies that are stiffing us and not treating the people
who made those things properly.
And so we're going to do our best, we may slip up sometimes, we're going to do our best
to recommend things that will not be driving business to, you say, movies that are in the
theaters right now.
And we'll figure out what those restrictions are as we do them.
But I'm going to follow them as strictly as I can.
So you guys want to hear what my recommendation is.
Yeah, I recommend to.
To be honest, I was going to recommend this anyway,
because I just saw it recently for the first time
and I was really blown away by it.
It's something that I was not familiar with at all
and I stumbled on it and maybe the listeners
are very familiar with it.
It's called, Alone Away.
Anyway, it's called, yeah.
But this is a, I want to recommend a short from 1976.
This is a movie that's only about 12 minutes long.
It is directed by a British filmmaker named John Smith
and it's called The Girl Chewing Gum.
And it is a movie in which you are watching a street
and London, much of it is a locked off shot of this street.
And there's a voice off camera
that appears to be directing everyone
who appears on the street into what they're doing. I want that truck to move forward a little bit and I'll stop. Now keep moving forward. Now the man
with the black jacket will walk through. Now the girl chewing gum is going to walk through.
And it becomes clear and clear as you watch it that the person who you assumed had complete
directorial authority and control over this is really just describing the things that are happening.
And it begins to call even more and more attention
to kind of the artificiality of what seemed first
to be very straightforward situation.
And anyway, I thought it was really cool.
Like I said, I stumbled on it,
and it's only 12 minutes long.
It doesn't take a lot of time to watch it,
but I found it really fascinating.
It's called The Girl Chewing Gum.
And, you know, I'm not,
I don't know much about avant-garde short film.
I know about meshes of the afternoon, and that's about it.
So this is opening an exciting new world of film to me.
Because every time I think I know a lot about movies, I watch a movie that shows me.
I don't know that much about movies.
There's always a larger world out there, and that's very exciting.
The Girl Chewing Gum directed by John Smith.
You know what I'm gonna recommend?
I'm gonna swerve hard away from recommending even any entertainment.
I'm gonna recommend, here's the thing.
Pain.
Hamics.
Oh, got hamics.
Yeah, absolutely.
So a couple of years back,
when, unlike now I was not on strike,
I had a backyard and I on a whim put on my Amazon wish list for like Christmas or whatever
a hammock.
Not like a hammock.
You got to string up between trees, but a hammock that comes with a frame.
You put it on the frame, self-contained hammock.
All of the work has been taken out of hammocks, guys. You don't
have to tie a thing around a tree and worry whether it, you know, you've done it right.
You just put it over a frame. You got yourself a hammock.
You're not really that cartoon dog is going to run by chasing a cartocat and spin you
around in it. Now, I no longer have a backyard, but I do have a small balcony and you know
what that hammock fits out there. Just right.
Been too hot lately during the summer to spend any time in hammock.
I'm too busy to spend any time in hammock, but when it's cooler, and I get the chance,
I'd like a little hammock time.
So that's my recommendation.
That was that.
Stop hammock.
I was going to say that hit rap song from MC hammock, right?
Yeah.
hammock time.
Yeah. Please hammock. I was going to say that hit rap song from MC hammock, right? hammocks time. Yeah.
Please hammock, don't relax them.
I'm going to.
Dan, I'll tell you, I used to have a hammock like that super, super relaxing.
That's a great recommendation.
So good.
I always, I always find hammocks a little bit stressful.
Maybe I'm, maybe I'm doing a dinner.
I mean, getting into them, I find, and getting out of them, I find stressful.
But once you overcome that challenge, yeah, and it's just great.
It's like you gotta earn it.
It's like religion.
You gotta do the work to earn the salvation.
Yeah.
So do you, do you just like jump in all at once?
Or do you, like,
I would recommend jumping in all at once.
No, you just sort of, you sit down sort of normally
and then normal style.
I was taught that you,
you actually, like, it's better to lay kind of across the hammock than it is
to fully sort of put yourself in the hammock.
So you're like fully parallel to the hammock.
I'm going to have to watch, I'm going to have to watch the YouTube videos.
There's a lot of ends and outs.
You're going to want to take a class at the learning and ex-bubbies.
Man, so what do I recommend here?
I could recommend shirts without sleeves.
I think that's a good move, especially when it's high down.
I'm wearing one right now.
That would work.
Look at those armpits.
Look at my armpits.
Yeah.
Just wait for the world.
So you can't see them, but there they are.
Just to say hello.
Hello. Here we are.
Yeah, I mean, you can't hide us.
You just buy like a regular shirt, you know, and then you just cut the sleeves off.
So there's a, you got to get it here.
If you've been working out enough, then you can just flex and the sleeves will tear off.
But wait, I can't do that.
Is Salette saying I don't work out enough?
Uh-oh.
Guys, it's sad.
You're back to the gym today.
Are you making my brain?
Do you?
I'm still unclear is that your recommendation?
Yeah, I guess sure.
My recommendation is going to be tank tops.
You know, think about a tank top.
You know, it's all gender.
It's great.
Recommend it.
You don't have to buy a specific tank top.
You can buy a t-shirt and just cut the sleeves off.
I would recommend measuring about halfway between the shoulder seam and the neck seam. That's
just, you know, that's the style I like, you know. And now, by recommending tank tops, you are not in
any way recommending militarism or support for violent aggressive action. Nope, nope, I'm recommending maybe find another use
for an article of clothing you already own
that maybe hasn't seen a lot of use lately.
Maybe some t-shirts you don't need anymore.
So it's not a top for an actual tank.
No, although, I mean, I guess if you have a tank,
you might as well put a top on it.
Like the old saying says,
well, you know, just another reason to hope or wrap it in to the strike if you happen to hate the new direction that recommendations are going.
If you love it, still let's hope for the strike.
I'm amazed that I was like, I'll outdo these guys.
I'm going to recommend like this British avant-garde student film in the 70s and you're like, no, we're
going to outdo you. We're not even recommending movies anymore. Yeah, we're breaking.
We're barely even recommending things. Yeah. We just talked to you about a couple things we enjoy.
Yeah. Speaking of things to enjoy, why not go over to maximumfun.org. They got a whole bunch of
things to enjoy podcasts primarily, although
if you like merch, you know, you can get merch. You want a shirt to cut the sleeves off
of?
They sell a flop house tank tops. You don't even need to cut the sleeves off if you don't
want to.
This may have changed by the time you hear this, but if you can't find flop house, we've
discovered that it is under T for the, if you say organized items A to Z, go to the
T section, because that's where the flop house is located.
For T shirts, comma, flop house.
Also thank you to Alex Smith, our producer.
He goes by the name Howell Dottie on various socials. He does a lot of stuff.
He does music, he does twitch streams. He is a Renaissance man. And that's basically,
I can see Elliott wanting to say something about how he's, you know, living in the modern
era, maybe, and he's not actually from the Renaissance, but then he thought better of it.
He's not always the happy. I was going to make fun of them.
I was going to make fun of the way you said renaissance, like there was a z in it, like
pizza.
And I was like, maybe that's how they say it in Italy.
I don't know.
I've never been there.
But I didn't want to say also, remember, we've got our series of live shows coming up.
Go to the go to theflophouse.simpletics.com to learn more and to buy tickets or if you
or and slash or in addition to, if you don't
do your part to help the writers and artists on strike or you want to help anyone involved
in the entertainment community who needs help, then entertainment community dot org, the
entertainment community fund is the place to donate.
And there's another place that only found about recently.
If you go to TUSC together dot com, That's the Union Solidarity Fund. And that is for help for other unions,
crew unions, beyond just actors, writers, directors. Everyone is being hurt by the AMPTP's
complete, dickish refusal to pay people properly. And donations to both of those areas will
help people should they need that help and they may need it. So thank you very much for
your support. may need it. So thank you very much for your support.
We appreciate it.
And thank you for your support by listening to us, the flop house, which has just ended
this episode for the flop house.
I have been Dan McCoy.
Oh, I'm super relatives.
I'm Elliot Kaylen and I was not taken by surprise because as Dan mentioned, explain
to head we're ending the episode now.
I wouldn't have known, but he told me,
and I appreciate it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Bye.
Oh.
I'm not.
I'm sort of half-hearted, that one.
Yeah.
Here's how it starts. Just do it. I can't believe you're putting me in the position of having to be like, yeah, let's just it starts.
Just do it.
I can't believe you're putting me in the position of having to be like, yeah, let's just
do it already, enough fucs and around.
That's the trick I play.
Okay.
Uh, okay, it starts like this.
Maximum Fun.
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