The Flop House - Ep. #411 - Santa with Muscles, with Alonso Duralde

Episode Date: December 16, 2023

You've heard about Santa, but have you heard about SANTA WITH MUSCLES? No? Well, that's probably for the best, but we discuss it anyway, with the aid of our ace Christmas correspondent, Mr. Alonso Duralde, who's become a holiday tradition around these parts.Want to see our faces? Check out our season of streaming shows, FLOP TV, or get tickets for a stop on our January 2024 West Coast Tour.Wikipedia page for Santa with MusclesRecommended in this episode:The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (2008) (For fans of cheesy Xmas movies)Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)When Evil Lurks (2023)The Holdovers (2023)Godzilla Minus One (2023)L'immensità (2022)Head to FACTORMEALS.com/flop50 and use code flop50 to get 50% off.Is your cat food giving back to cats in need?  Smalls is, so if you want to give Smalls a try and ditch kibble forever, head to Smalls.com/FLOP and use promo code FLOP at checkout for 50% off your first order PLUS free shipping!

Hi, floppers. Before we start our regular nonsense, we wanted to make sure you do the flop house is going on a four-city west coast tour this January. It's the flop house Errors tour, the biggest event in pop culture entertainment this year, probably. You can see us in Vancouver on Wednesday, January 24th at the Aladdin Theatre in San Francisco on Friday, January 26th at Cobbs Comedy Club as part of San Francisco Sketchfest and in Los Angeles on Sunday, January 28th at the Regent Theatre. For tickets, go to flopphousepodcast.com slash events. Again, that's flopphouspodcast.com slash events. The flopphouse live is like the podcast, but you can smell us. And now, without further ado, a regular nonsense.

On this episode we discuss Santa with muscles. Santa with muscles. Call me when he's got skin bones and organs. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flophouse I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliott Kaelin and we have a guest. Who is it? Identify him. We have a very special guest today. That's right. It's December. That means it's Christmas time. Size the Jewish member of the of the hosting party uh... that also means the good uh...

reviews i refuse to be one of you but the good thing about christmas because otherwise it's nothing but bad things is that the floppers gets joined by one of our favorite guests that's right it is our annual christmas movie correspondent he is the chief u.s. film critic at the film verdict. Sounds very fancy.

I'm glad he was able to slumber with us. Flop out, boys. That's right. It's Alonzo D'Aralde, the man who puts the Christ in Christmas. What? Does he? I go by the Christmas atheist usually around here. So, you know, I was probably...

Oh, they're the opposite. Well, he's the man that puts the moss in Christmas because we always want more when he's with us. He lives moss. Oh, he's the man that puts the moss in Christmas because we always want more when he's with us. He lives moss You know, Elliott Christmas pop culture was pretty much created entirely by Jewish men So you know, when that's a good thing Berlin without you know, like so really for for instance. Yes, going that far back So, you know, you've got a hand in you you have a there. You have a little bit of a stake in this I guess so.

I would call it a collaboration in a sense. But, you know, we wouldn't need to get into that. Christmas, it's a great time of year. People love it. Some people call it the most wonderful time of the year. And do you subscribe to that feeling a lot? It was Tuesday. I am a most wonderful time of your person just because like I this is my my obsession and

it's become sort of like a part of my career now. So, but you know, when when the holidays rolled around, I need my tree up, I need some eggnog in the fridge and I need to see you lovely boys here. So it's great to be back at the flop house. Thank you. What do we do on this podcast usually? Well, this is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. And we consulted with Alonza who tossed out some titles and I think it was Stuart who were, we're, we're flying to the list of titles with an all cap, said with a muscle.

Well, that was it. The muscles, of course, being a notable bodybuilder that appealed to you. Or... Yeah, I mean, obviously that's part of it. It also is, I think it was the dumbest name. But yeah, Alonso, it sounds like you do a lot of podcasts with buff nerds. How do you feel about that? You know, look, we've all got a calling in this life.

And apparently mine is to be with, you know, muscle heads who like to paint warcraft figures. So I'm excited. I'm excited. But that's okay. I'm sorry. I see, shows you what I mean. Don't make me beat you up.

Awesome. My lot of life. But yeah, you know, it's funny. I thought I threw out Santa with muscles thinking, oh, that would be a great flop house episode. Do I think, oh, wait, I have to watch it again and talk about it. So That's how I'm. That's what it is.

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That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it. That's what it is. That's what it is. Santa Maranera. Santa Pomajan and so the, here's the thing with Santa with muscles. It also gave us a chance to drink in the charisma of everybody's favorite public figure, a whole coke. Now I'm just a lovable guy. Just a lovable bag.

That's the last chance about to defend him. No, no, no, no, no. I don't think that's the right call. No, no, no, no, before we get into it, I just, I just, I just, Dan is a whole comeineac. No, no, no, no. Before we get into it, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just,

I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, just, And life was so wonderful. There was Hulkamania. Hulkamania swept the nation. Everyone loved this firebrand man with a blonde mustache who was balding up front, but long hair behind, who would tear shirt off. And the words they think like Hulk was our everyone's lips. I feel like it's hard to communicate much as the same way when people who were victims

of the dancing sicknesses that sweep Europe would have to explain to their grandchildren why they suddenly felt the need to dance in medieval times, that to explain to my children why Hulk Hogan became maybe the most popular man in America at a certain point, I think will be hard to do. Well, that's exactly what I'm getting at because I was watching this movie and I'm like, what was it? Like, yeah, what does our friend to children? He was friends to all children.

I think he was, he was such a, I mean, this movie's from what, 1996. Just a little late in the Hulk, in Hulk Emanuea's reign. But he was such the perfect wrestler for the Reagan era, especially like where he was, his thing was, I'm all American, I love America. And I am kind of the establishment official like wrestler, like he was not until he left the WWE then WF and started became like a bad boy for WCM. Yeah, we joined NWO. And I got a little five o'clock shadow painting on.

Yeah, but the idea was he was like, for in the wrestling world, his character was the ultimate good guy. The ultimate like, I fight for what's right, eat your vegetables, stay in school. And I think maybe what made him exciting was the tension between that and what an obvious, like, what an obviously not that person, he was, I don't know underneath all that, but for kids, it was like a real life superhero maybe. That kind of like, he was wrong. He's real. Yeah, he wound up, I think, being kind of the model of Florida man. But before we really had a, an understanding of what that meant, yes, you could, we could pass himself off as like,

you know, yeah, America's wow number one USA, you know, guy, he was Mr. T for white people, I guess. Yeah, yeah, that's a way to put it. Yeah. I mean, Mr. USA, you know guy, who's Mr. T for white people, I guess. Yeah, that's a way to put it. Yeah. I mean, Mr. T, he was the Pat Boone to Mr. T's little Richard. No, this is instructive because the best I can come up with was like, I guess he looks really distinctive. He's got a big face with a big mustache and big eyebrows.

There's the thing he's distinctive at the same time. He does not look distinctive. He is for, I think, especially for a white wrestling audience. He's just kind of like a big white guy whose blonde, he doesn't look weird aside from his go team mustache. And the fact that he is still super blonde for his age. Yes. And he's, yeah. And he's also hugely buff, you know. But otherwise he has the, I think there was something that made him stick out because he had the least amount of gimmick compared to other. But he knew how to mug, which I really comes in handy as a pro wrestler. What's weird is that in this movie though, he does very little, it's a very subdued performance

from him. At times, it feels like he thinks he's still reciting his lines to himself before the camera rolls, and he does his actual take. Yeah, every time they, they start to take him like, do they bonk him on the head again? I mean, he seems concerned that he might be in a serious drama at times. Yeah, and one of the things that I think is funny, but you can tell where this is on the Hulk Hogan scale of descent because, you know, this is a guy who he's starred in, at least one feature film that was in theaters, who was what like suburban

commandos and theaters. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he would be up against like big guys. And in this one, you actually have a fight between Hulk Hogan and Ed Begley Jr. Which is not a match. Not a match. He's tall. He's tall though. Yeah, he's tall. That's true. I mean, his reach is good. The matchup we've all been waiting for. I, this, this, I see I see Hulk Ogan versus Ed Bigley senior, to be honest, seems like you want a fair match. This is probably jumping ahead, but like our hero is a big muscle bound guy who sells like body, like supplements. Yeah, yeah, he's like a fitness guru.

And the bad guys are a bunch of like, really science nerds. And I'm like, if you were gonna ask me in real life, who I thought would be more likely to be an evil man. It's the man hawking his snake oil from his mansion. But also he starts out, as I mean, we'll go through this as he talks to the plot, he starts out, it's a classic Christmas redemption arc. He starts out as a selfish guy and he comes a selfless guy. So there's a little bit of that in there, but it is also, it does feel like the climax

of the Green Lantern movie, where it is Ryan Reynolds as a hunky jock versus a nerd in a wheelchair. It was the rooting for the jock, was superpowers to defeat the nerd in the wheelchair. I was kind of hoping the climate debate would be about whether or not climate change was real, because I think it was really go at it for that. That's true. I wonder if they talked about it on the set. It was an issue in the 90s, you know? Okay. Let's like to work. I'm sure he did. Whereas, whereas Holkogen would drive there in a Jeep powered by other jeeps being crunched up into cubes and

then put him to the gas tank. He was, yeah, a Hummer. You know, we had a Hummer. Oh, he was, yeah, a Hummer. You know we had a Hummer. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. Let me, let's start up this piece. Okay. So act one begins. The movie opens with a letter to say and I wrote a warning of a mean man named Ember Frost. They're in the town. I think like like, like, is it? But Ebner, yeah.. Yeah, it only says Ember because every time I write Ebner my auto corrects it reasonably So I'm sure that's yeah, that's incorrect. That's not a word They're in the town Lakeville, which is being ruined by Ebner Frost including

He's also trying to get rid of the orphanage. He seems to be some kind of evil land developer of unknown plan. And this letter being written to Santa is being written by a young orphan named Elizabeth Bentley Walsh, which sounds like a fucking blue blood named. It does. It does. It does not sound like an orphan name at all. Unless, unless literally the reach became to orphan was herner parents were

walking through a crime alley after seeing a movie. The name does not, does not fit her situation at all. Yeah. And for parents died at like Tumacopote's black and white ball maybe. But yeah, they were killed by an unknown assailant using lightning gloves or some kind of gas attack. Those are characters later in the movie. Okay. So after this opening that kind of shows us a town in turmoil, we are introduced to our hero, with Buzzles.

We are introduced to our hero, Blake Thorn, played by Logan, who is dressed up. He's a like a rich fitness guru. He's like the richest man in what? Three states, four states. Something like that. The county at least. Yes. like a rich fitness guru. He's like the richest man in what three states, four states. Count the county at least. Yes. In this in this town of Lakeview, which is clearly somewhere in Southern California, there's not a lake to be seen. It's a very dry climate. It's a strange game for the time. So he is a fitness guru. He's dressed up in camouflage fatigues and he is beating. It looks like he's

sneaking into rich mansion and he's beating up a bunch of staff turns out they all work for him. This is his regular drill, which explains why they fought both enthusiastically, but also not very well. Yeah. Sorry. If you thought this was a how to blow up your pipeline, how to blow up a pipeline. You know, the problem with your pipeline. You're a pipeline. How do you pipeline to blow up the social media? Um, yeah, this also all of his, uh, you know, his staff seem to really enjoy this too.

It's not like a situation where they're like, could we please have a job where we don't get, you know, smacked in the face with golf clubs or whatever, you know, but they're really into it. They're like, they do it like, Kato's okay. Yeah, happening here. Yeah. Yeah. He's also like clearly a self-obsessed asshole, and he's like dictating rules to his staff who kind of give looks like, oh, what an asshole. But the thing is like, they've been working for this guy forever. They would be used to it by now, I think. What was literally put their lives on the line for him? Uh-huh. He like gives some, like the first rule that we hear him say is like something that is

just like an aphorism. I forget what it was, but it's like not, not unique to him. Oh, okay. Yeah. Like you miss 100% of the shots he don't take. Yeah, he's like, put that down, put that down. It's great. I'm on fire.

I'm like, shut up. Shut up, you just said. You're saying it was a puzzle. There's no real billionaires like that now. Yeah, not at all. No, the thing is so atlantish, that's the thing. It's unbelievable. When he tells his employees, he goes, if you see me, if you meet me walking down the road,

kill me, they're like, that's, you didn't invent that. The Buddha invented that. He's like, whatever, whatever. So yeah, Blake Thorn is clearly like a scrooge for this modern era. He his paintball game gets a little bit out of hand and it leads to a police chase, including police officer Clint Howard. You wanted to score dignified roles, right? Yep.

I mean, he gets to be kind of be a hero at the end. So sure. The police chase leads them back to Blake's former home Lakeville, the previously mentioned Lakeville, where he hides out in the nearby mall, which is in a tough situation because they are missing their mall Santa Claus. There's a whole bunch of elves, but nobody can find Santa Claus. So he...

It's a classic. It's a classic corporate organizational problem. There's too many elves, not on a Santa's. So this is the, this is where Act One kind of gives us a little bit of a pause. We learned, we've learned a little bit of the setup. Now to get a little bit, let's deepen this mystery. Meanwhile on Ebner Frost's land, one of his henchmen, Dr. Blight,

is torturing a local business owner, and then he brings in his trio of other mad scientists who continue to torture this guy. I guess to sell over his land or business. Yes. His shoe store. Thank you. sell over his land or business. Yes. Yes. His shoe store. Thank you. Okay. Now back to Blake. Blake sneaks into the mall to avoid. Do you want to talk about, do you want to talk about the individual henchmen that, that

for us as we were, were they weird? Yeah. Yeah. It was slightly eccentric. They are all blinded. Dr. Blight is specialized. Like, Dr. Blight looks like Lucas Haas and Winos, but with a lab coat on, I would say sort of like a stretched out Richard E. Grant. Oh, I feel like a mishmash between them. And then he has a trio of mad scientists who, can you guys describe these guys for me? There's one sort of like a stocky, balding guy his thing is smells like, yes, like he's like gas oriented Kimist, but he has a much a methane kind of a Hans Mollman type. Yeah, Dr. Vile, I think, is his name. Yeah, excuse for like a lot of essentially fart jokes

Even though he's not farting. He just has gas on him Yeah, and there's an electro lady. Yeah, she's got like electrogloves. Doctor Watts. Yeah, Doctor Watts. That is. There's one other guy. The third one who, I'm trying to look up the name of the actor, because he was the one

who was the most recognizable of those actors to me, who is Dr. Flint, who is the geologist. Kevin West, who's in, he's an actor, he's in a lot of stuff. Like you'd recognize him from a lot. There's not a lot of, not often are your mad scientist geologists. No, what is this? Very, very. I mean, aside, I mean, the most, I guess the mad scientist it gets is Clarence King, the superstar geologist in 19th century, and that's more because in his private life, he convinced a black woman that he was also black and lived as his her common law husband and her in assumed name for many, many years. But that's more of a, that's not like a mad scientist-y type thing.

No. That's just an out of the ordinary thing for a geologist to do. Yeah. And this guy, like, I guess he says something menacing, like you'd make a beautiful fossil. I'm not really sure how he's menacing himself, but all of these appear to be like criminal scientists. Like they broke out of Arkham or something. And we're all thrown out of various respectable institutions.

Yeah. The geologist will do terrible things to you, but it will take thousands of years for it to happen. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, he's like, I'll have your bones to study. All weight and just stands there. I'm going to turn you into oil, the old fashioned way. Time and pressure.

So yeah, those are his, those are Frost's, Frost who is also like a germafope, right? He always has that. He has a germafope. He talks to people via TV. Yeah, he mainly communicates through TV, which is like carried around by his henchmen, which is pretty funny. Okay, and by pretty funny, I mean, come on, what else? Like, who's what he wants, guys?

Okay. I mean, it is the most fun thing in the whole movie, probably, but he communicates via television. Yeah, like Dr. Mabusa or something like that. Blake sneaks into the mall to avoid the police. This is once again, a very rich man. Buy himself sneaks into a mall to avoid the police. He steals the Santa costume as a disguise, but officer Clint Howard catches on. He hides in a garbage can.

A Santa Claus costume that very unbelievably fits this enormous man who has wandered into them all. Yeah. Well, also like like age in 47. Maybe the mean freak who was supposed to play Santa Claus by then. Or if you're a Santa without padding and with muscles, I guess, the whole works out. Maybe. The muscles don't go in the same place the padding does, right?

Good point. He's mean to a kid to it, which is what Clint Howard is like, there's something funny here. I'm like, I'm the one who's mean to kids. I'm like, I don't know. Like I'm all Santa who's like not on the job right now being mean to a kid that tracks for me. But that's the weird thing. This movie is playing a game.

It's on a delicate tightrope the whole time between kind of characters kind of understanding that he is just a person pretending to be Santa and also thinking that he is Santa. And it's kind of hard to tell at any given point whether the characters believe he's actually a magical Santa Claus or not. Mm-hmm. Well, we'll get to that because nowadays in costume, he hides in a garbage shoot and then he gets bonked on the head by a giant plastic Santa and he loses memory. Luckily Lenny the elf shows up. Lenny the elf. He steals Blake's wallet, realizes who he's dealing with. And then he convinces Blake that he is in fact Santa Claus and not any. Not like the four millionaire doing

a big dance when he finds a wallet. He does do a big dance. Now Lenny the elf, what do we feel about this performance on a scale of overbearingly big to you want to shoot yourself? Really needed more stick, I thought. It is really funny. This guy has so committed to this that he like he follows Santa around for the rest of the movie basically. I mean, willing to sleep in an orphanage just to maintain. And he also seems to know that he is like the lovable sidekick grifter character. Like he doesn't, he doesn't ever for a moment feel like he's going to actually like steal a bunch of the money.

He feels like he knows like the Santa needs a wacky sidekick. Well, the truck trying to like that. He didn't like this role. Apparently it's an ATM that involves a thumb print. So he's like sticking around, he's gonna get the glass. And the performance, I would say, fits in more to the tradition of the British Panto.

Oh, you know. Where they just, it's super, everything's wildly exaggerated and forth walling to the audience and stuff. That he's going that hard with it. And so why he is not like playing Aladdin, you know, somewhere, you know, upper heart for sure right now, I don't know.

I understand Panto because I saw the recent season of Drag Race UK where they did a whole Panto challenge. Oh, so, and I understand Panto because I often use Panto to bread cutlets before frying, yeah. And I understand Pantone. This is what I use to choose colors for the wall. I'm actually wearing a pair of Pantos right now. And I love Pantotone because it's a delicious cake that lives in a box forever. It's a Baffling product. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm and live there indefinitely. I just get things like, does Lenny not have a house? Does he not have a family? Like what's going on? It's a long con. Yeah. Yeah. And we know he needs money because he owes, he lost a bet that seems to be with Dr. Blight. But it was for like $50. He's like, I'll get you the money. And then the woman who's running the sand, I think at the moment she goes, $50 to everyone, anyone who can get me a santa.

And he's like, hold on, I might be able to get you that money. So is this over a $50 bet? I'm like, there are hundreds in Blake Thorne's wallet. So without the ATM, he's got his hands on some cash immediately. But he smells of big or pay day. $19. It's the classic sunk cost fallacy where he's like, I think I don't really know what that means.

But it's like, just take the money you've got. Don't go for the big score of, I guess, emptying his bank account and using his credit cards. It's more of a burden than a hand situation, I think. Maybe. Yeah, is it worth the time you're going to spend living at an orphanage to do this? He's he's in for the rush of the con. That's what he loves. Yeah. I'm just kidding. It's all over the place. Okay. So Blake decides to be Santa and the mall. We get some montage of that. As we said, Lenny tries to use the talking ATM, but

it won't let him because it needs Blake's finger print. It needs a thumbprint. And when he's now and Blake is the Santa, that must be pretty hilarious, right? Him interacting with those kids. Well, it feels like they shot some footage and then they just used everything they shot, none of which is funny or edgy. Yeah. There's one point where a misbehaving kid gets lifted up, but I'm like, I could probably

do that. Kids are very heavy, right? Okay, so some thugs try to steal the orphanage, the fund, there's like a little fund for the orphanage set up near Santa. Yeah, they're not trying to steal a whole orphanage that would be able to get up to your car a little way. I mean, that's what Ebner's literally trying to do, Elliot. That's true.

Good point. So thugs are trying to steal the fun to like save the orphanage. But Blake, of course, stops them. He throws them around. There's at least one moment where he throws a guy and they speed up the footage to make it look funnier. That did let that did let that. I want to ask you something seriously. You know, I want to ask you something seriously, you know, when, even when you were a child, you sped up footage ever funny to you because for me, there was no point at which I was like, this makes it funny. Dan, I can't speak for myself because I don't think I ever did, but having recently

sat with my older son while he watched The Mighty Ducks for the first time, there is a chase scene and that where the footage is sped up and he was laughing his shit out. He thought it was so funny to him. He literally said, look at this. Well, no. And now he made this comedy dad. Oh, you say, look at how fast they're running.

Can you believe they could do this? Yeah. That's great. I think it depends on what it is your speeding up. If there's like a lot of people like throwing pies or running into walls or falling on their ass, like, I think there's a way to make that work, but there's so little happening in this movie that so little happening faster is not going to really be a, but it's that up like a blown out. It'd be pretty funny. Yeah, like a list of his older gentlemen who is chasing

young women around. Sure. Before the cross that and maybe pieces of clothes get caught on things. Yeah, like padding and old bald man on the head is not that funny, but if you speed it up, then it could get pretty funny. What kind of sex is play? I feel like it's happening. I think I'm gonna let me look what I've got. Let's see.

You can eat y'all. I can eat y'all. I can eat yuckity. Yuckity, yuckity, yuckity. Yuckity, yuckity, yuckity. You guys know why we are not just packaging this for a BBC My Stroke. It hurts me. I'm the art of comedy. Okay. People are listening to this podcast that wanted to have speed as we speak.

So, I can't stress. And it's funnier that way. It hurts my heart. Yeah. Absolutely. Because you have to, your heart has to beat that fast. What happened when this gets met up? So, uh, the, the, the port, the podcast of Dorian Gray, but it goes to double speed. It ages me twice as fast. Oh, man, this is definitely age

me twice. Oh, man, that means this ride is almost over guys. Yeah. Okay. So Blake has stopped the thugs. Everyone loves Santa with muscles. So Blake rides off to Lenny's Moabed and they, he sees a sign for the orphanage and he's like, I have to go to there. And they decide to ride off together. He's kind of like a determinator at this point. Yeah, he kind of is.

And that's about the, he is line deliveries are for the most part robotic. Because he's like, Santa's a robot, right? They're like, I'm only in Futurama and he's like, works for me. I mean, when he was talking to those kids earlier, like, it's interesting to think like, he seems to want to play it like a genuinely like confused sad man who has no memories. Yeah, like the kind of too much amnesia research. Yeah, yeah. It does feel weird that Hulk Hogan of all people is trying very hard to underplay this part

throughout the movie. Yeah. And I don't know if it is lack of enthusiasm or too much enthusiasm. Like you're saying, he's like, I'm going to finally get into this character. How would he feel about what's going on? I have to create a contrast with Blake Thorn and Santa. So I'll make Blake Thorn kind of a loudmouth and I'll make Santa a quiet thoughtful meditative man. And the whole time I'm just trying to remember my own name, but I'm also having a function as Santa. Yeah, it's great. So meanwhile, I'm into function as Santa.

Yeah, it's great. So meanwhile, I'm a, I'm what's called a functional Santa. It's it being the Santa doesn't get in the way of my regular life. I will see. Runner up of the Santa contest and since Santa was not able to do his duties, I must take over. Meanwhile, Frost's goons threaten the head, the woman who runs the orphanage, and they steal the statue from out front. They are about to get away and they're about to run over groundskeeper Garrett Morris when Blake and their driving on the screen. That's right. Finally, the Hulk and Ant-Man are in a movie together.

Finally. You've been saving that one. Yeah. I was thinking about it while I was watching it. Yeah. I was shocked by how willing this movie seemed to be to like have the villains almost run down Garrett Morris. You get very close. Luckily for everyone involved. Blake grabs the chain that is attached to the back of the ice cream truck and stops them in their place, which is a feat of strength shocking. Yeah. Also tensile strength because that could have easily destroyed that ice cream truck. Okay, and then. Or pull those arms right off. Yeah, I mean more ladies.

Let's just say Santa with muscles has a tortured relationship with physics. has a tortured relationship with physics. So the goons run off. They decide to have Blake and Lanny are welcome to the orphanage. We get to meet young Mela Kunis in her, I guess, what, is this her big screen debut, Dan? I didn't look at it. I don't know. Was this released in theaters? Was it a big screen?

In for two weeks. Yes. Okay, then it might have been. Let's take a look at her filmography. Yeah, it was at Sick Ease. Okay, so no, she had previously been in, although it was a showtime TV movie. So you know what?

If she was previously in the made for television film, piranha. And then right after this, she was in honey, we shrunk ourselves. So it was, I think this was the big screen. The Africa debut. Yeah, sure. It's a great thing. Can everybody make a note of it?

Tell us your memories of Santa with muscles. She wouldn't appear on the big screen again for another two years when she shook off the curse of Santa with muscles to appear in the blockbuster, Krippendorf's tribe. Oh boy. But here's the lesson. If you're going to be the, you know, if you have the choice of being the adorable mop it or the wise cracking, you know, person at the side commenting through the side of their mouth, be the wise cracker.

You'll have a better career. Yeah. No, very true. Yeah. Okay. So they have dinner at the orphanage. San and Lenny decide to stay the night and Lenny continues to gas light Blake. Any chance there's a moment where Blake's like, maybe I'm not saying he's like, no, you're

totally Santa. Let's put on these pajamas that are actual like Christmas pageant costumes and sleep in bunk beds together. I don't know if I tried to climb into a child's bunk bed, I don't think I'd be able to fit and I'm not a Santa with muscles guy. No, no, no. There would also be other problems if you're doing that. You probably get a rest.

Well, that's the main thing. Ebner Frost is trying to shut down this orphanage and really all he has to do is call child services and say, the orphanage just let in two strange men. And they're sleeping in this next door to the children. Neither of them seem as willing to identify themselves. Yes, I know there's only three people in the orphanage, but still. It is a very, the orphanage is running. And it's kind of sad that the orphanage and they're like, we found parents for all the kids.

Well, the kids we could find parents for. And it's just like the idea that these are the three reject kids that nobody around it is. It's very sad. Yeah, you have, you have, you have, you have Elizabeth Bentley Walsh who wrote the letter in the opening. And then you have a kid who's given off some real Barry Kagan vibes. Yeah. That kid, I feel like that kid was in a lot of that.

He was in a lot of stuff too. Yeah. Okay. So meanwhile over breakfast, Lenny steals a milk glass with Blake's fingerprints. That's right. We get a very long slow moceine of halcog and drinking milk. For all you milk fetishes out there. Elizabeth schools Blake on all the rules of being Santa. I did not write them down or pay that close attention. Milacunis improves the sanasuit by making it look like something you could order out of international mail, but they get out of nanobots now.

So he can turn into sand with muscles wherever he is. And we're doing a Santa themed burlesque show. This is what you do here. Yes. Yeah. It does, it does feel like he goes, he's gone from traditional Sanctitude Chip and Dale Santa very fast with this costume change. The local reporter shows up in interviews Blake to be for the local news. It doesn't go

particularly well. He seems confused. This local reporter, not very good at his job, let's tell you, because like there's no free interview before she puts this person on the air. And then later on right in the middle of interviewing Clint Howard, she decides she's going to run off and talk to one of the. You got to go with the scoop. You got to go where the story is.

But you shouldn't be alive, I think, is the movie. Yeah, maybe alive, yeah. She just needs the rush of live TV. That's what they always talk about. There's also not much of a story that she's chasing here. I mean, yeah, yeah, all those other really cool stories. That's the most cool. It is, it is the kind of thing you get on public on, on, on local news, though, is where

they're like, we talked to a local crazy person who's doing something out of the ordinary and the interview goes weirdly. And then they're like, okay, we did it. Good bye, everybody. Yeah, I do, I do Yeah, I do like that. I do like that that Hulk Hogan was like as an actor, I'm going to be doing a man on the street interview. My options are be totally crazy or totally confused. I'm gonna go confused. Okay, so meanwhile, Ebner, Frost and Dr. Blythe

see the news story and they do not like this. Sand with Muscle says got to go. So Santa and Elizabeth sing Angel Baby together in the orphanage is. Is this some other song? Because it's not the Angel Baby that I know, which is of course because the one that goes Angel Baby, my angel baby, that it's not that one. I don't know that song and I didn't know this song. Yeah, I'm assuming this is an original but Alex, can you put some music underneath and sing angel baby so I can recognize it? Yeah, Dan, go to do again. Angel baby, I really had a very good year that one.

I really had a very good year that one. That's it. Yeah, they're trying to seduce an angel. Just like Santa Claus. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love, but I do kind of love horny Christmas songs. Okay, interesting. Just because they're super weird. And then the apocalypse has a good one. Well, okay, I'll check that out. That's one of my favorite community bits.

When, did you see that? Like, there's a bit where like Annie sings a song that is basically Santa baby, but like, you know, like they're funny version of it where it's just her like being as baby as as possible. And it's just like her like intelligence devolves over the course of this song. I think you left sexy this behind it. It's very good. Just those sexy Hanaka songs. Look for them. You won't find them. Okay. So they sing. And you waited to sexy Hanaka songs. Look for them. You won't find them. Okay.

So they sing, I'm just waiting to be filled, Elliot. Get on it. Yeah. Well, I guess you could do a dirty parody of Dratled, Dratled, Dratled, Dratled, Dratled, Dratled, Drildo, Drildo, Drildo. But that's not, you can still make it out there. I think you're never seen it. I like my fire.

Like, you've got all kinds of options here. Oil me up, you know. Yeah. You can be, what? I'm going to live for a new something about America. I'll win her holidays over here. Yeah. Okay, like a macabre something like that. Yeah The lot of hot oil that's something that's yeah oil for eight days. I don't want to know what the oil is though That's what I'm saying usually usually we have sex for one minute, but now we're gonna do it for eight minutes

sex for one minute, but now we're gonna do it for eight minutes. Wow. What are you doing for enough wool? It's a Hanukkah miracle. We're gonna make it last baby. So again, Hulk Hogan and a little girl sing the song Angel Baby Together in a Chapel and then Time passes tonight. What a poetic transition, sir. Okay, so the Goon Squad shows up.

Guys, I keep saying Goon Squad. Now, is this the Goon Squad from the Pulitzer Prize winning novel? A visit from the Goon Squad? Yes. Yes. Okay. Somebody vegan run a Goon show and the people are so rich. Or so, yeah.

I had to explain to my wife because our friend Ashley Ackinson is one of the featured actors on the show, The Guilded Age. Yes. And somebody on Twitter pointed out that they like to engage in gooning parties with their friends whenever her character shows up on screen and might explain to my wife what gooning was, which was, you know, pretty much in that I'm your wife and explain it to me. I think it's where like, you just like hang out and jack off for a long time, possibly denying yourself a release.

Now there's a party involved. Yeah, like you're just hanging out with your buds. Jay and Dan, now you know why Poppie was always trying to get off the island of the goons because he didn't want to do that. He didn't want to sit around. He's meant by, there's a party in my pants and everyone's invited.

This is the, okay. Did they zoom goon or did they is in person? I mean everyone's invited. This is the idea. Okay. Did they zoom Goon or the is this in person? I mean, I didn't get all the details. This was on Twitter. Maybe I should have more follow ups. I mean, this is fish is, you know, a provocative character, a provocative character. And one, and one episode she even had a, a boob cut out, a boob window.

Missed fish. That's her character's name. Okay. I'm on for my own. You got to watch the gold age, dude. It's like Kirikoon in it. Kirikoon. Now, I'm unfamiliar with it. You gotta watch the gold age dude. Okay, Carrie coon in it Carrie coon now There's a coon good party

Okay, let's see so the goon squad shows up and okay, what a Christmas episode this is oh To the season So the goon squad shows have a they threat. Happy party day. They they. Oh God, Dan's turning into one of those text messages. It's like group text messages. It's like and for those celebrate happy Guru ka. And then starts all the like ad porn puns. Okay. I don't get these text messages. What are these text messages you're giving? Okay. Okay.

So the bad guys show up and they threaten them by throwing the statue head through the window. Blake then goes out and promptly just whips their asses. Like there's no moment when he is not going to whip their asses. And it's totally self-defense. He walks out and the doctor blight seems to think he can handle Santa with muscles and takes his stethoscope and hits him in the face with it. Like he's lashing him in the face with the stethoscope strap, which is, or like, with

the end of the stethoscope, which is much more brutal than I expected to see in a movie called Santa with muscles. Yeah. That opens up a little girl reading a letter to Santa. And he does some a couple of spin kicks that I'm sure the actor had been practicing and really wanted to do. But all for not, Blake beats them up quite easily. And they drive off, but in the mayhem,

they don't realize that one of the kids, one of the orphans has slipped away. Of course, he must have gone to Ebner Frost's mansion. So, and that kid is Taylor. I just checked my notes. The kid's name is Taylor, everybody. Okay. So they had to insert and final orphan.

They had three orf skateres. Everyone always forgets Taylor. They had to Frost Mansion, which is, I don't know, like a house with a bunch of weird steam vents outside. It's clearly a mansion that they have rented or belongs to one of the producers of the film possibly, and that they have outfitted with the least kind of skin of fake science stuff to make it look like a mad scientist mansion. Yeah, that's cool.

Oh, which reminds me, Alonzo, we haven't even talked about the producer of the film, which you reminded me of over text earlier. I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm always surprised when I revisit this movie to remember that one of the executive producers is one Jordan Belfort. You may know better, Lord. The Wolf of Wall Street. They left the product. Why is Saisley didn't cover his years producing San Francisco?

I know. I totally wanted to see a scene where Leo is on the scene, the set of this movie. And you have to wonder, it kind of throws the whole thing into perspective. Like, is this entire thing some sort of complicated tax dodge, like money laundering scheme? That's like, well, we have to make something. Like, is this basically springtime for Hitler for the Wolf of Wall Street? Like, I don't know. I wish I knew. We're just in attempt to get to hang out with Hulk Hogan,

which is something I could see him wanting to do. Also, yeah. This is true. Although it's weird, you're talking about this being sort of later, era Hulk Hogan, like, if you're thinking about Fumantchu Moustache, Mullet, like Muscle shirt, Hulk Hogan,

he is committed to the bit of playing like this billionaire. So he's almost sort of like keto makeover Hulk Hogan. Yeah. Yeah. It's not the one that we're used to in these movies. No, not at all. No, not at all. None of those, like, what are those, not zebra pants?

What are those pants called? Zubas? Zuba, yes. He's like, you're not wearing the Zuba. Yeah. Yeah. See, that's why you do podcasts with us muscle boys. We know the, the, we're going to burn out.

You're down. This is also, and this is, this is kind of like late early Hulk Hogan, as opposed to late, late Hulk Hogan, where he's mostly suing goch or out of existence with pure deals of money. Yeah. I think somebody described him as showing up to court like he's the Paul bearer at a bow constrictors funeral. Okay. I don't deserve credit for that joke. It's not mine. Okay. So they find Taylor outside of Frost's mansion. They scold him for carrying a slingshot and they send him in Lenny home. a slingshot and they send him in Lenny home. They, I guess he decides to like investigate what Frost is up to, which is to basically like take over the town and find something underneath it. He doesn't learn that much new information. Yeah, so they, but they realize he does realize that whatever Frost wants is under the orphanage.

So that leads all the orphans and everybody go under into the catacombs beneath the orphanage. This is where the movie went from. The movie I thought it was gonna be, to the movie I didn't quite expect, and I was, and, but hoped it would take a turn like this. Yeah. Underneath the church, there's a massive vault

that has a combination lock that seems to have stumped the kids, but Blake somehow realizes that he knows the rest of the combination. How curious. They open up the vault. It leads into a cavern filled with precious gems, rare electro-conductive quartz crystals that explode. Yeah. And they generate these are stones that generate their own electricity and are explosive. And I remember getting to this point in the movie and just being like, movie, I didn't think you're going to surprise me, but you did it.

You got to surprise me. That was my take basically where it's just like this movie could have easily been exactly what you expected. And it's not good, but at least it took the energy to make weird choices. It's like a whole year old telling you a story and it's like, and they go underground. Yeah. Like it could have easily been Santa with muscles, does a charity wrestling match to save the orphanage?

Save the orphans, yeah. Yeah. But instead they said, hold on, what's the opposite of that? How about a cavern of electric crystals that exists under the, under the orphanage through the vault door with a mysterious combination? I was like, this just turned into a point click video game and I love this. How about it's not just a land developer who wants the land the orphanage thought. It's a scientist who knows that they're magic crystals.

I mean, it's something that kids can understand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like kids are like, I understand the value of land. Yeah. Okay. So let me continue to keep lying to Blake, but he's starting to get cold feet. He's in contact with blight. And he doesn't know if he wants to go through with it. Dr. blight shows up at the orphanage and he gets chased around by Santa leading to a confrontation in I think like the bell tower. Yeah, the orphan orphanage is bell tower. Very vertical. And Santa gets knocked off the bell tower and lands Santa meeting Blake, of course. It's hard for even I have trouble. I can do you or take him by the magic of Santa. He is not done for the big.

He lands in a garbage truck. Before passing out, he sees a can of his protein powder. What? He then Blake then wakes up in his own mansion. Wait, before I want to give Dr. Blake credit. This is I think the third time that Dr. Blight has gone one on one with Hulk Hogan. Each time I'm like, you don't have a chance. This kind of reedy Englishman, but you know what? I guess he's Scottish in real life, but this is reedy character, but then he did it.

He beat it. So, you know, I'll talk with a little bit of power. Good on you, Dr. Blight. You use the geography around you in order to feed a stronger opponent, and that's what a true master does. Yeah. Well, he's read the art of war. Yeah.

When a whole slogan wakes up in his mansion, you know, disoriented thinking that it was all a dream and then like seeing himself in, you know, Santa outfit, this was again a moment where I thought like, it's not that the acting is good, but it is pitched at a different level that I expected because you really made me feel the horror of like waking up realizing that you've lost several days and not knowing like, what happened? Like it was a little too distressed for a movie like that.

That's in the same movie as Clint Howard's policeman. Yeah. Yeah. So he, Blake is concerned. He's starting to remember things and he's remembering what has happened over the last couple days. There's a lot of hands. Why? He's blood all over me.

Peter and, yeah, there's a scary note penned on his bathroom here. And he's missing a kidney. He's at a boy at a bathtub of ice. It's like I had muscles, but not all my organs. He tries to, so he tries to call the orphanage, but Frost's goons intercept the call and try and scare him off by playing a recording that makes it seem like they don't want to see him anymore. The goons then show up at the orphanage.

Classic commons too. Classic commons too. Yeah. They start to round up the kids and adults, even Ebner Frost shows up. He shows up in his full suit. He's like, you got me on set for two days. This is day number two. I will be at two different locations and this is the other one.

One of them has to be a house. I'm going to be able to get my kids house. I mean, if you'll let them walk you. Kids around, I'm wearing the hazmat suit. They, they all go down to the vault, but they have to break in. Lenny calls up Blake, who is depressed, but he inspires him to save the day. So Blake gets his staff together. They'll jump in the Jeep and they head out, of course, starting another high-speed chase with police. And then they try and dissuade

some of the police by throwing his various food supplements, his weightlifting supplements at the police cars. He and his staff break into the orphanage. And then did you cut it? Did you skip the part where the police shoot a rocket launcher rocket? And yeah, do you want to describe it? I felt like there was there was a no greater indictment of the over militarization of the police. Now this moment for one of them has a shoulder mounted rocket launcher that he fires at ostensibly force of billions or guilty of nothing more than reckless driving. Luckily, they only destroyed Clint Howard's car, which leading Clint Howard, soot covered, but unscathed otherwise.

Yeah. Yeah. It seemed like the movie was like, it's like the movie had flop sweat on it. It was like, what would make this exciting? This explosion, whatever. What do you need? Kids, what do you want? Well, see now, if another infamous producer made this, Jack Abramoff might have gotten one of those rocket launchers from one of the Mujah

Hadin while making Rambo three and then brought into this set, but instead it's Jordan Bellforts. Who the hell didn't know? It looks like John Landis wasn't directing this right? They would throw a bunch of helicopters at those kids. Yeah. Helco would have been murdered and we would still have gochered to this day. And it's a good thing, Max Landis didn't write it because that's always a good thing. Yeah. Okay, so they're at the orphanage Blake, along with the help of the kids and his staff managed to pick apart the goons squad one by one. We get lots of laughs. It's hilarious. Let's see. Okay. They beat up all the goons. Garrett Morris then takes Blake aside and reveals the Blake grew up at that orphanage. He had a

different last name and that he was close friends with Ebner Frost who was all of the other ones. Does he not know this already as some like residual amnesia or has he just put that so far behind him? Like it's unclear, I'm clear. It's unclear. Yeah. Why once he'd regained his memory, he was so surprised. I'd be like, Oh, okay. Yeah, this guy I've been fighting. I know him and I grew up here. How many evidence do you meet in the course of a lifetime? Yeah. Yeah. It is, it is a, this is another twist that took me by surprise, not quite as big a surprise as the cavern of electric jewels, but the idea that, oh yeah, by the way, you

don't remember you grew up here and he's not just a bad guy, he's your old best friend. It was like, movie, what are you doing? It's so cool. Don't you remember? You you cost him to lose his hair in an accident. That's why he hates you to this day. And also what if Garrett Morris was sitting on this information, why didn't he bring it up at any point when an amnesiac thought he was Santa was living in his house with him. There were a couple of moments where he let slip little tidbits where you're like, he knows more than he's letting on. That's just like, he's saving it all for the big reveal.

I can't wait. Good point, good point, yeah. So Blake, as a showdown with Frost in the cavern, it's super exciting, everybody. And it leads to a growing explosion. So they all have to evacuate. And then we see the entire orphanage building destroyed by a like magical electro-implosion. Yeah. We're like, it sucked in on itself. It's kind of cool. And it manages to convert this very

real building into a series of obvious flats that have been arranged in the shape of a building. Yeah. And the police and reporters show up. They take away the goons, they interview everybody, everybody is a good time. But wait, wait, the orphans have nowhere to live. Or do they? Because everyone moves in with Blake, hooray. Yeah, a happy ending. He becomes a true Santa.

Yeah, but he becomes a real life Santa, like all buildings. And I assume he's going to run for Congress as a Republican since having questionable adoption practices in your house or with your family is the thing they like to do sometimes. Yeah. And there is a little moment where they are using a telescope spy on Frost and his goons who are in some kind of like prison for a hard time. Yeah, this one. Yeah, they do.

And some kind of co-ed prison because the lady henchman is there also. And they're doing, they're in striped uniforms like it's the most cartoonish prison they could be in. And Blake, yeah, there, there doesn't end up through a tell-in-go rest of this movie. Yeah, so after the realism of the movie, I was thrown off. Yeah, and Blake looks to see what they're looking at. It's them in prison, they all laugh and I'm like, wow, we're really like teaching these children a great lesson of like just like take joy in your enemies pain.

Yeah. Inxult in the defeat of your opponents, yeah. And there's no way. And there's no way. And there's no way. And there's no way. And there's no way that this billionaire would let there be a fucking prison that close to him, right?

No, no, no, no, we don't know how powerful that tells us. That's a very strong telescope. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay, so we have that's the end of the story. It's the telescope from Body Double. So, you know, it can see anything. That's the best telescope. Santa with muscles.

Let's do final judgments, whether this is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie kind of like, guys, here's the thing that confounded me with this movie. Tell me why you loved it and you cried at one point. No, no, I'm really afraid. No, I'm really afraid. Confounded me was like, how do I rate this?

Because it occurred to me that a normal human, one who had, so not for me, not watch a billion bad movies in their lifetime and was not watching this alone, but was watching Santa with muscles the only way one should, which would be, you know, with a bunch of drunk friends at a holiday party. Like, someone like that might really enjoy the experience of Santa with muscles because it is bizarre and miscalculated. A lot of weird stuff happens. That said, me, Dan McCoy, the human who has seen a lot of these was pretty bored at a certain point. So, you know, since I believe in in criticism, you can't necessarily like speak to other people.

Like I feel like you get into a dangerous area. I think you have to speak to other people. Otherwise, you're just talking to yourself as you wander around your house. Yeah. I look. I or an alleyway. The reason I would be the reason I would be the kind of movie critic that people would get angry at all the time would

be is like, I believe very strongly and only speaking to my subjective experience of something rather than being like, I don't know. I think that once you start wondering how other people are going to react to something, you're getting into trouble. Personally, that's my philosophy. So if you want a real arm and white style letterboxed, follow me and see like the whimsical, Sarah's side would say give things. Anyway, point is, for me, it was bad bad because I got bored, but I recognize that for other people, it probably is a good

bad. So thanks for that final judgment recommendation of your letterboxed profile. Yep. Now I'm trying to find Dan's letter box review for Santa with Oh, two stars. I'm going to say I'm going to call this a good bad movie. Possibly that's because I watched this right after ex versus set ballistic ex versus several, which we did last flop TV. And after that, just the fact that this had a plot I could I could grasp in characters that did things, that made some monochem of sense, that it may have gotten me on those fundamental levels. But I would say, I could see

this working as a good bad movie, not as a good movie. My older son really wanted to watch this movie with me. He kept begging me to watch alongside me, and I'm glad that I did not give in to that. I think it would have been a waste of his time. I'd rather waste my time on this Earth than his time on this Earth. And then imagine the late embarrassment years later when he's like, I beg to watch that movie. Yeah. Why do you stop me?

Or my worry is that when you're... I learned it from you, dad. When you're a kid, sometimes you watch crap and then you love it because you watch as a kid. That leader will be like, oh yeah, Sam, it's muscles is a good movie. Now I'm curious, I'm curious, Elliott, were you afraid of the content in sandals, muzzles? Why weren't you, because this seems like if you're going to do it at any time, sure.

Let him watch sandals with muzzles. I had two fears. Uh-huh. My first fear that I would be wasting my son's time and my second fear that he would love it. And he want to watch it from that point on. And I'd be wasting my waste of my son's time and my second fear that he would love it. And he want to watch it from that point on. And I'd be like, what did I do? Like when you, when I remember, because I saw, I caught him with a cigarette and I said,

okay, you have to smoke a whole cart with cigarettes and ask cart and cigarettes. And he's addicted to him now. He loves them. He's smoking cigars. So that was a bad move. Parents don't do that. They're big. No, on breakfast all day.

We do a regular thing. We call it. We call it. Police cigarettes are cool. On breakfast all day. We do a regular thing. We call it. It's are cool. On breakfast all day, we have a site we call Was it greater were you eight? Yeah. Because I think a lot of yeah, there's a lot of folks who carry these moves are like, oh, it's so awesome.

It's like, wait, how old were you when you watched it and have you watched it since? You know, not every movie is the dark crystal, which I loved at eight. And I still love today. Fair enough. But yeah, no, and you they can be both, you know, but I think it's very good parenting on your behalf to like, you know, there's got to be some gatekeeping going on. It also didn't help that I just out of my, the older I get, the more I want to gatekeep the amount of Christmas content that my children have to are subjective to.

They're already complaining that at the holiday concert at school, the, every year there's one Hanukkah song and it's always sung by a class that my kid is not in. And he's like, why don't I ever get to do the Hanukkah song? So I'm going to say not just, if I was going to order a movie in a Spanish restaurant, I would not just say Santa Sien muscles instead of Santa cone muscles, but I would say Sien Santa, not cone Santa. Because if any movie is going to make your kid Christian, it would be Santa would be like, yeah.

I want to be part of that. I'm so worried he would find a hilarious. I don't want that. I don't want to live in that world. Stu Oralonzo, what do you? Yeah, okay. I guess I'll say good bad. I mean, it's, yeah, I mean, it's, it's not well made.

It's not particularly funny. But it's, no, it's pretty silly. And yeah, I mean, it's not good. So I guess good. That's inclusive. I guess, you know, by eliminating all the other options, you've come to it. Yeah, I'm a bad bad on this one.

I mean, I'm a, I'm a famously soft touch for holiday stuff. I will be watching all 40 new hallmark movies this year, but even I have my limits. And I'm a little older than you all, so I don't have like any kind of childhood affection for Hulk Hogan to get me through it. So it's just a drag, but it is cool to see like like, you know, Milakunis already perfecting her, like, um-hmm, stare. Yeah. Yeah. Which is, there's a moment where, uh, after she's given Hulk Hogan his newer sexier outfit,

and Lenny goes, what about my clothes? And she's like, keep your pants on and walks away. And I just love, she goes so quickly from friendly kid to acid kid in a moment, yeah. If you're black, you probably love you some Paramore, huh? Or what about the TV show Golden Girls? Ginger Row, daytime television, don't lie, I know you love at least one of them. I'm Sequoia Holmes, pop cultureist,

and host of Black People Love Paramore. Contrary to the title, it is not a podcast about the band Paramore. Each episode, I, along with the special guest co-host, I said to one pop culture topic that mainstream media doesn't necessarily associate with black people, but we know we like. Tune in every other Thursday to the podcast that's dedicated to helping black people feel more seen. Black people of Paramore is now on the maximum fun network. Check out the most recent episode

featuring Shar Jacelle today. Throughout history, Cyons have captured men's attention, enticed men with their feminine Primal needs the silence a little bit. I'm not unless the primal need is I need to be smashed on the rocks. Yeah, I've smashed me So actually my mom is me mommy The silence Why do we do this to ourselves? Strayed me baby. Strayed me baby So yeah, this is my brother my brother me from maximum fun on Mondays. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,, my friends, it's America's number one, ready to eat meal delivery service. It can help you eat well this bustling holiday season with chef prepared, ready to eat meals delivered straight to your door. You can skip the meal planning, you can skip the grocery shopping, the shopping and prepping,

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dog you see before the energy gets tired. The sleepiest on the podcast. Head to FactorMills.com. Slash, flop 50 and use code flop 50. That's the numeral 50, not the word 50, to get 50% off. That's code, flop 50 at factor meals.com, slash flop 50 to get 50% off. Now we've got food for you and your human companions covered. What about those furry friends that live in your home? That's right, today's podcast is also sponsored by Smalls. Smalls makes protein packed, preservative free meals

for that kitty in your life. That's a real ingredients that you put in your fridge and you don't just sit out on a counter somewhere. And Smalls is also recently kicked off a partnership with the Humane Society. This is a big deal. They've donated over a million dollars worth of cat food to help cats through the Humane Society. And they even give you a chance to donate when you're checking out. I love my cats. I put a lot of thought and effort into keeping them off my back and off my chest, yelling at me for giving them food. And you know what?

Smalls provides that food and they love it. And if you're anything like me and you like your favorite thing to do is to stick your face directly into your cat's fur, what? So, smalls does provide food that will often lead to a shinier coat and just a healthier cat in general because you want to put your face and a healthy kitty. I love doing that and I have cat allergies, but I still do it. Yeah, you know, it's worth the suffering. So is your cat food giving back to cats in need? Well, smalls is. So if you want to give smalls a try and ditch kibble forever, head to smalls.com slash flop and use promo code flop at checkout for 50% off your first order. Plus free shipping.

That's the best offer you'll find, but you have to use my code flop for 50% off your first order. Now use my code flop. No, one last time that's my promo code flop for 50% off your first order. Plus free shipping. Hey, enough about other people's products. What about the flop house's products? Yeah, that's right. The flop house has some stuff going on. As you heard, like the expired flop house, ground meat. Here's some stuff we got laying around the house, buy it from us. So as you heard earlier in the

episode at the very top of the show, the flop house is going on tour. It's the flop house, the errors tour, four stops on the West Coast, the best coast. We're starting on January 24th Wednesday in Vancouver. It's an international show at the Rio Theatre and we're going to be talking about Cobra starring Slice alone himself. Well, Sylvester Sloan show up. Well, I can't promise anything they think, but perhaps a mediocre impression of him will. Then the next night Thursday January 25th will be in Portland, Oregon at the

Aladdin theater. We're going to be talking about Kules ice. That's right. Vanilla ice is back in a movie that he made 30 years ago. And we're going to talk about it the next night. Friday January 26th, we're going to be in San Francisco as part of San Francisco sketchfest. We're so excited to be a part of it at Cobb's comedy club. And we're gonna be talking about Gilly. That's right. Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, one movie, two stars, a not very good title. Gilly. It's gonna be epic. And then two days later, Sunday, January 28th will be in Los Angeles at the regent. We'll be in Los Angeles at the regent theater. And we're gonna be talking about the movie that kicked off

the superhero film craze, spawn. That's right. What a trailblazer. So again, January 24th in Vancouver, Cobra, January 25th in Portland, cool as ice, January 26th in San Francisco, Gilly, and January 28th in LA, spawn. Go to flopphousepodcast.com slash events

for links to tickets and more information. And hey, let's say you don't live on the West Coast. Let's say you don't love us enough to travel to the West Coast to see us. Well, I'm disappointed, but I understand. You can still see us broadcasting live in person through your computer screen by watching the last episode of Flop TV.

That's right, there's only one episode left of the season. Flop TV, our online TV version of the Flop House, January 6th. It's the first Saturday and January. We're going to be talking about a movie that has haunted me like a promise that I didn't keep. And that's New Key. That's right. The German South African ET ripoff co-production starring Glynis Johns and Steve Rails back the story of two alien brothers who are Really annoying and they look terrible and everything about it is bad. That's gonna be Saturday January 6th 9 p.m. Eastern 6 p.m. Pacific get your tickets at the flop house dot simple ticks.com can't make it to the broadcast Can't be there Saturday January 6th at 9 p.m. Eastern. That's okay

Your ticket get to access to the recording, which goes up later that night. And if you get a season pass, you'll have access to all the episodes of Flop TV, that's six episodes of original Flop House entertainment. Those episodes will be available to watch through the end of January when they will return to the Flop House fault. And now, let's return to our show, The Flop House.

Let's move on to the next part of the show, which is Stu making hand noises. Oh, wait, it's called Foley Work. It's, it's letters. Dade's Foley Work. Yeah. He's on Fargo now. He's working.

Yep. I'm happy for him. Letters from listeners. This first letter is from Juniper last name with held. Who writes? Dearest floppers. I've been thinking of him again. Mel Brooks. That was the original, that was the original line at the beginning of Rebecca, right? Yeah. I've been thinking of Mel Brooks again. Last night I went to Mel Derlay again. Last night I went to Meldor Lake. I dreamed I went to.

I rewatch Space Balls recently and remembered how much I love the gag where Dark Helmet learns about his subordinate, Major Asshole, and learns further that he is surrounded by assholes. That got me thinking about name jokes, and I wonder my dear peaches, what are your favorite joke names and movies? References to Austin Powers are encouraged, but not required yours in Floppy Juniper. I mean, I'm not, I gotta say, I'm not the biggest name joke fan. It seems like, you know, a dumb joke that breaks the reality. Listener, thanks to the- No, I'm just talking about my personal response.

I was not a huge fan of name jokes that are like puns, like the kind you get in Austin Powers, but I do like funny sounding names. And the first names that came to mind are, my favorite comedy is The Miracle of Morgan's Creek, the Preston Sturges movie. And Betty Hunt and Scarrettor's name is Trudy Cockenlocker, which is just a funny signing name.

And much of the movie is her searching for a man named Ignats Ratsky-Watsky, and I think those are very funny names. And I laughed every time I hear him. But they don't mean anything. I agree with you. I rather, I like the Mark's Brother style, like Dr. Hackenbusher, whatever,

like that kind of thing. Oh, to speed driftwood, that kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Martin is Michael Huffahar, the man with two brains is a guy that I think. Yeah.

I think, I guess it's not a name, quite a name joke, but in the wrong guy with Dave Foley, where he, you're emitting the thing that I was thinking of. Yeah. Can you explain it better than me then, Dan? Well, no, no, you can. I mean, it's just one of those gags that you see in movies all the time where like people are like looking around the room to come up with a fake name. But he sees only the most inappropriate things that make it clear that he's doing a fake name. I almost don't,

I like, I'm not getting more specific because I don't want to ruin it. I think it will just look up that scene. I'm sure it, it's hard to see the wrong guy, but I'm not getting more specific because I don't want to ruin it. I think it will just look up that scene. I'm sure it's hard to see the wrong guy, but I'm sure that that scene's got to be on you too. I will also give a shout out to Ned Bady in Back to School as Dean Martin. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's great. That's great.

At the college, just because there's a scene where, and it looks like it would just improvise where, where Rodney Dangerfield can't not laugh at the idea that this guy's name is Dean Martin. It's just dumb, but it makes me laugh. Rodney Dangerfield normally such a state performer. Yes, hard to break. I haven't read, I watched back to school recently and so much of that movie is just him doing bits

and everybody read him. And I mean, I know that's not a reveal, but like, there's something very silly. Like, you know, see a lot of movies these days, where it's just one guy doing dumb shit. And everyone's like, I guess we're just a lot of cutaways to us smiling at him or laughing. No, I do love that. Early Jim Carrey, that's what his movies were. Yeah. Yeah. People just observing. Yeah, that feels like, I mean, speaking of the Marks Brothers, that feels like a throwback to Marks Brothers to me, just to have like

Rodney Dangerfield rolls into a party doing like bits like to an unseen audience, everyone around him, reacting Adrian Fargo is his master Dumont. Yeah. That's the kind of comedy I miss a little bit of is comedy with as a character who's just kind of doing stuff like that as opposed to like a. We call it stick. Yeah, stick doing stick as opposed to the more let's say like a riff based comedy where characters are riffing together. I like when someone comes in and does written stick and other characters like this one that

used to bother me in the martial arts program, and now I like it, is that characters are super offended by what Groucho just said. And then they instantly forget it and are charged by him until he says the next thing. And they're offended for a moment again. And they never leave the conversation. They all know the reason for this. They're like, oh, no. They're like, oh, well, I never, anyway, continue.

It will always be that turn when suddenly when he's talking about market to money, be like, but can't you see what I'm telling you is that I love you? Oh, well. Provisivive lives. Okay, this next letter is from Tracy Lasting with Held. It's more educational than it is questioning Stuart solicited romance recommendations, but did not specify subgenre. So I will recommend a lady of Rook's grave manner by Catherine Moon, which is a P and R slash

R H. Is that me? That's one of those books where a lady has sex with a velociraptor. Oh, so well, close. Charcting. And apparently that stands for Paranormal Romance slash Reverse Herum, a K A more than one male of interest for our female lead. Since Stuart likes monsters, I thought he might like this one.

Real Herum's scary. If it's paranormal. female lead. Since Stuart likes monsters, I thought he might like this one. I'm scared I'm scared. I'm scared. Since it's a human woman happily getting down with a series of monsters starting from like page 10, it's a romance and not straight erotic because they all have a H-E-A happily ever after together. Also, it is a well written book and occasionally something other than sex happens. You can skim those parts. Since you're just starting the romance genre.

I thought you might appreciate learning some of the codes. I started reading romance during the pandemic, and for a while there, I didn't know it. Any of them meant happy reading Tracy. Now, see, you can enjoy both romance and cryptic codes. Yeah, I like cryptic codes. I will say me mentioning a new interest in romance fiction has been the most listener engagement I've ever had. Sorry, did I add too much to your... No, it's great. I love it. My reading list has gotten longer, though. But that's

great. Thank you so much. Somehow I first developed my love of check new wave cinema. It did not result in the same kind of effort. Where are the letters I ask you? Yeah. Let us move on to the final segment where we give our recommendations of movies that we've watched and enjoyed recently. I want to recommend it's a segment we call a view for you. We could start calling it that.

Okay, Alex, go back and add this to every single episode. In passing, because this is our Christmas episode, I'm just going to mention, this is not really like my recommendation, but Audrey and I watched the most wonderful time of the year from 2008. And on the sliding scale of made for television Christmas things. This was some pap that went down easy thanks to Henry Winkler giving it way more than needed for this kind of movie, just showing what a gym he is. Once again, a Jewish person making Christmas content than people love. Making Christmas. But all those monsters were Jewish too. Yeah, Halloween town is a shuttle. I finally caught up to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mutant Mayhem, which I had wanted to see

in the theater because I turned good things, but didn't manage to. But I really enjoyed it and was really surprised by like, I wouldn't have thought that what I needed out of a Teenage Mutant Ninja movie, turtles movie was more heart. Like I never would have thought like, oh, that's the winning ingredient because it just doesn't seem like that sort of thing, but, you know, turns out that adding relatable characters and making you care about them is the secret ingredient to most narrative. And I really just appreciated how they felt like in this case they were like, let's lean on the teen part of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and tell kind of a weirdly relatable story about how they feel lonely and what they do to counteract that. And it looks really pretty, it's a lot of fun.

I did, there was a bit where we've talked's a lot of fun. I did. You know, like there was a bit where I, like we've talked about a lot on the show. I've started to check out more in action movies unless the action is really like cleverly done. And so there's like a, some parts of it where I'm like, ah, I'm less interested in this. Get back to the stuff about them being like cute teen turtles.

But it's the movie that I feel like has best cap of all the Ninja Turtles things. It's best captured what I like best about the turtles comics when they're done well, which is they feel like a family of brothers, Splinter is their dad. Like they, they're not just, it's less about them as a team of ninjas

and more about that they're four brothers who've grown up together and they care about each other. And that really comes across in the movie, which is really nice. Yeah, so, you know, a lot of fun, very sweet. That's what I took my older son to and he really liked it. And I want to keep in watching movies like that and not stand with muscles. So good point. And part of the sweep of Iowa debory this year between the bear on FX and bottoms, which is one of my favorite movies this year. I didn't love the theater camp, but she's fun in it. And she's the, she's the new April O'Neal.

Mm-hm. Oh, she's, she's so good and everything. And a good letterbox to follow. Oh, okay, man, it's way back to letterbox. What's the letterbox? He fucking should be dude. Sponsor in. If you were going to be an influencer of anything, it would be either that or like baking products. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel you'd be great at both of those things. Red bombs. Okay. I guess I'll go next. Um, I'm, uh, what should I recommend? Should I recommend a gross movie? Maybe you should move. That's a question you're still answering for your cast. I'll try to answer you as someone else go. I'll go then. I'm going to recommend, I saw yesterday, the movie everybody's talking about,

probably the best movie of the year coming out this year, right at the end. That's right, Godzilla minus one. This is the new Japanese Godzilla movie directed, but red directed by Takashi Yamazaki. And it is set, I don't wanna tell you too much about it, but it's set right after World War II. And Godzilla is at his best when he is a metaphor as with all monsters and horror things. And this one, it is very much about

a overcoming the trauma of Japan's experience in World War II, and also overcoming the trauma of Japan's experience in World War II and also overcoming the trauma of the kind of The national philosophy that they act next during that war and I was into watching a movie that is very much on the side of the side of life against the kind of Honorable death aspects that are even there in the original Godzilla and It's got a lot of it's as damn was saying with that digital movies got a lot of, it's, as Dan was saying, with that Ninja Turtles movie, it's got a lot of heart. It's very focused on the human characters and their experience. But the Godzilla scenes are genuinely very scary and very like devastating,

you know, and it really plays off of the original film in a lot of ways. It uses the, a number of the songs from the score of the original film in some really powerful ways. And I really liked it. It's exactly what I wanted from a Godzilla movie, which is a certain amount of awe and a certain amount of character and a certain amount of just like a certain amount of claw. A certain amount of claw. Yeah, awe and claw, you know.

Elliot, can you just, you know, cut to the end and tell me how chunky is Godzilla in this movie? Stu, you are going to be happy as a client. Yeah, super chunky. So you first see Godzilla, when he's outspoken, one thing is that the first time you see Godzilla, it is a younger Godzilla. He's a little more live, but by the time you get your real Godzilla character, they have seen the American Godzilla and they have taken it up a notch in the arm to thigh ratio,

those arms are small and those thighs are are bunkers. They are thick. Yeah, and his head is too heavy. So yeah, this is a very, this is a, you're gonna be very happy because you're a little comfortable.

You're interested in God's love. God's love. God's love. God's love. God's love. God's love. God's love.

God's love. God's love. God's love. God's love. God's love. God's love. God's love. is gonna like this God's illidice. That sounds great. Yeah, I can go fuck it. Okay. I'm gonna recommend two movies.

I hope I'm not sniping our guest again. I am going to recommend a Argentinian horror movie that I saw a little while ago called When Evil Lerks. It's a gross one. It just hits shutter. It is about a pair of brothers who discover a infected, a big guy infected with a demon, and they're like, let's just chuck him out, chuck him down the road. Unfortunately, that does not end things.

And it kind of has the vibe of like kind of like an evil dead, but there's a little bit of rules, but you don't quite know what those rules are. So there's mayhem and it's gross. Like there's genuinely fucked up gross stuff in it. But it also feels like there's, I don't know, it feels like there's a little bit of a set of rules and like a plan involved. It isn't just mayhem for mayhem. And and when does evil lurk like the whole time or not? Who knows? So much lurking. But it, yeah, it's, yeah, it's, at the point lurking becomes

shirking. There's a certain amount of bleakness to it, but I feel like it, I think it overcomes it by still having some fun, gross stuff. And it doesn't feel as mean spirited as it could feel. And I'm going to recommend a good movie called The Holdovers, which I haven't recommended yet, which I saw the other day. I loved it. Paul Giamatti is great.

Divine. Wait, what's her name? Joy Randolph. Thank you. She is great. The wholeatti is great. Divine, wait, what's her name? Joy Randolph. Thank you. She is great. The whole cast is great. It's so much fun. It was like, I saw it right before Thanksgiving and I was in kind of a weird place emotionally

and it was kind of the balm that I needed at the time, like it was something very homely about it. And obviously I'm a sucker for for 70 stuff and any movie where characters are drinking Jim Beeman Miller, High Life gets a thumbs up for me. So interesting way to judge movies. Yep, that's all those are the only criteria I need. I love to say my movie for Stuart's contingent. I love to say any movie where they eat Popeyes this time with me, but Little Nikki is the one movie that they really go all out with Popeyes. They really do have and talk about it.

I think Supergirl has a prominent Popeyes. Supergirl does have a prominent Popeye scene. Yes, that's true. They go there on a date, a daytime date of a group of friends, yeah. So yeah, all of us and when evil looks nice. Well, in Pat, you've Argentine reminded me there's a really great movie out called The Delinquents that is the Argentine entry for the Oscars that I highly recommend.

But we're at the time of year where for me, like as we're recording this, I'm about to vote with L.I. Film Critics. I'm about to put together my top 10 lists. I've been looking back at the year and a movie that I really love this year that I kind of feel like a lot of people didn't see or aren't talking about or maybe just liked less than me.

I don't know, but maybe just liked less than me. I don't know, but I want to recommend it anyway. It's an Italian film called Limit. Barbie. Which one? Barbie. Give it a try. I've never seen it.

I've never heard about Barbie you guys. I know. It's an Italian film called Limitof. It stars Penelope Cruz. She plays the mother of a trans son, but no one understands that this kid is trans because it's the early 1970s. And so they keep dead naming him. And the Penelope cruise is maybe sort of the one character who kind of figures out what is going on with her oldest child. And there's other things happening in the home and in the family that are complicated. But it's mainly about

this kid sort of figuring his way out in the world and having these really great fantasy musical sequences and also these musical sequences that are not fantasy, but it's just like hey We're gonna put a record on and set the table and the director turns that into this sort of like cool musical dancey choreographed moment in the midst of this otherwise fairly realistic drama the early 70s production design is just like spot on like the group of this otherwise fairly realistic drama. The early 70s production design is just like spot on, like the group of Italian moms took me back

to like being a kid in the early 70s and like my parents and their friends who were all like immigrants from Spain or other places. It's really moving. The director is also trans and I think there's a, there's an autobiographical nature to the film. But yeah, it is just a wonderful movie. It is currently streaming. If you are a subscriber prime video, if you get hoopla through your library,

you can watch it for free. Otherwise, it is rentable. But yeah, the director is a manual creelace. And it's one of my faves of the year. So yeah, lemon satat check it out. I'm looking forward to watching that. I was not familiar with it at all. If it had Godzilla and it, maybe I would have heard about it. So yeah, Lamentzatage, I can help. I'm looking forward to watching that. I was not familiar with it at all. If it had Godzilla in it,

maybe I would have heard about it earlier. Well, I mean, and Godzilla is immense, you know, you think, no, I might mislead you into thinking. Especially the demon center, right? There's no demons that eat brains or anything. Only if you count the patriarchy. Okay. I do.

The ultimate brain eating demon, yeah. Now, a lot of it. Before we sign off, I know you do like 80 different things. So I would like to afford you. So space to plug a few of them. Or all of them. Thank you. As mentioned, yes, I write reviews for thefilmvertec.com.

I do a whole bunch of podcasts, including Linoleum Knife with my husband Dave White here on the Maximum Fun Network. I'm one of the hosts of Maximum Film. Kristi Lemir and I have a show called Breakfast All Day that you can watch on YouTube or subscribe to. As a podcast and I make very regular appearances on Dexha Hallmark, usually talking about non-Hallmark, non-lifetime, made for TV, Christmas movies. And it is the season two, once once again mentioned that I wrote a book called Have Yourself a Movie The Little Christmas. I also co-wrote a book with the Deck the Hallmark Eyes called I'll Be Home for Christmas Movies. That's that latter one is about Hallmark movies,

specifically the other one is more about Christmas movies in general. It's always a delight to be here. I'm going to put in a request for next December that I want an Elliott letter song because I never get one. That's true. I've been, I've been taking some time because I, you know, I want to make it special, but I'll do it for you. I want to witness that magic, you know, I R L. And so I put it out there for a, be careful. Literally be careful what you wish for. It's true.

The monkeys paw is curling as we think. Elliott saving his voice to be called up to be the new vocalist for KISS when they reform without the original members since they just had their final show. That's my main contract demand is not with the original members. I don't want to be involved with any of them. I saw someone online ask like, has the letter song officially been retired? I haven't heard well. I restrained from engaging, but I was like,

I think I was about to myself, no, I think that the letter song is something that Elliott didn't want to be trapped into as an obligation. I found myself repeating myself a little bit more than I would have liked with the letter songs. And so I think 2024 is when I'm gonna be when I bring them back, but I'm gonna try to do it in a new way or something that I mean, in a new way, it's still gonna be the same basic thing.

But I don't wanna paint you into an aesthetic corner. I understand that you are a creative person and you need to follow them, use where it takes you. But sometimes we just wanna hear the hits. I appreciate it, exactly. As the late Lemmy said, when people asked him, are you tired of playing Ace of Spades at every single motorhead concert? He said, yeah, but if I went to see Little Richard, I want to see him

do 2D fruity. So I get it. Like you want to hear the song that you like from the person. So I'll do it. I'll be back. You know what? Yeah. 2024 is the year of the letter song. You know what? Nothing but letter songs. The whole episode. Oh, God. So I can retire. I mean, I guess if he's just singing. And before we go, we should say thank you to Maximum Fun. There's a lot of great podcasts on there. Some of them with Alonzo, go to MaximumFun.org, check that out. Thank you, Dalek Smith, our producer. He goes by Howell Dottie all over the internet, just looking up. He just goes all over the internet. He just goes.

He lets rip. Yeah, doesn't care who has to clean it up. If you have the time, go to iTunes, leave us a review. It really does help. It's, you know, they got algorithms and stuff, you know. If these guys five stars, they've earned it. Thank you. We've been just grinding away, guys, just, you know, even if you don't like us, just, you know,

for the hustle. Yeah, we're just like the hustle. Yeah. Even if it's just for pity, just for pity that we've locked ourselves in this bad movie cage. Yeah, we're, we're on Instagram, trying to send people over there so we can abandon more hateful social media. Not familiar. Are there any social media places that are run by billionaire madmen? Well, all of them, but at least, at least, you know, someone wants to buckle. And letterbox is going, they might introduce a DM feature. Dan is salivating for Dan McCoy.

I'm happy to find a place to talk to people that isn't suffused with hatred. Let me see letterbox. What's the number one movie of all time according to it? Triumph of the will. Oh no. Oh no. It's probably going to mean to slip into my DMs. I don't know. I think I've done all the business, so I'll just sign off for the flop has. I've been Dan McCoy. I've been stored Wellington.

I'm Elliot Kaelin and I'm thankful to have our guest. Alonso Duraldy. Bye. Bye. Oh god. Oh god. Oh godso D'Araldi. Bye. Bye. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

Oh God. Terrible. I kind of like it. See, see, see, like something was bad, bad was happening to you, just. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

Oh God. Terrible. I kind of like it. See? Yeah, this is annual. We have two correspondence. You are a Christmas correspondent and Jamil Buoy is our hedgehog correspondence. That's true. Mm-hmm.

Talk to good head. For one niche. Yeah, for one we do the life story of Ron Jeremy. That's true. That was his nickname, Ellie Boomerig, Adrian Brodydy and a role that will surprise you. Yeah.

You put on all that weight to play the part. He had to extend his penis just to play the part. I don't know. He looks like he's back. Yeah, Adrian Brody is pretty tall and thin. Yeah, he's, he's just, I think it's the nose that makes you think that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's a natural symmetry that way. Yeah.

Especially if you're a peeler. I'm very scared that this is what Alcs is going to put at the end of the episode. Maximum Fun. A Worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you. Supported directly by you.