The Flop House - Ep. #416 - Cobra, LIVE!

Episode Date: February 10, 2024

We're giving you one more live show from our recent west coast tour, before returning to regular "in studio" episodes next week. Please enjoy our discussion of perhaps Sylvester Stallone's grimiest, most 80's action movie, Cobra, recorded live at the Rio Theater in Vancouver, British Columbia.Wikipedia page for Cobra

On this episode we discuss Cobra! Live from Vancouver, Canada! Hey everyone and welcome to the Flap House, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kalen. And we are Alex's Mel a lot more ends to my name. Stolen Valor. Junior. Stolen Valor. I've been going around pickpocketing ends from other people's names.

Christopher Ola, the director of Oppenheimer. Two ends more in my sack. Hee hee hee. Uh, we're here in Vancouver, Canada. That's the real thing. Look, it's baseball pitching superstar Ola Raya. Three more ends for Elliott. Hee hee hee.

Oh. I wish I could say I'm not trying to think of a name with a lot of ins in it. That's how I get you. Yeah, this is a podcast where you watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Now, for this live episode, we decided to watch Cobra, a canon classic, starring one Mr. Sly Sloan and Written by Slice. Now when he says canon, just for anyone who's not a bad movie buff,

he means canon films, not canon like it's in the Bible. There's no book of Cobra. This is a canonical word. We'll sit on the syllabus, we have to read it. Yeah. It's a classic text of Western civilization. So we watch Cobra, this is a movie, I'm not gonna lie to you, I've seen this movie before. Guys, have you seen this movie before?

I have seen it, I've actually been meaning to rewatch Cobra for once in my life, the podcast has been a good excuse to see a movie, I wanted to see it. I was like, hey Dan, have you seen the holdovers yet? He's like, nah, I'm waiting to watch Cobra first. It was just the holdovers doesn't make sense if you haven't seen Cobra yet. It's true, actually.

My wife really wants to see the holdovers. I'm being good and waiting to. You are good. You're being very good. You know what, you're great. I'll take it, thank you. He was waiting for me to say back to him. No, I'll take any level.

I'm on board. Okay, everybody, so let's talk Cobra. I'm gonna go through the plot of Cobra These guys are gonna chime and interrupt me or try to Anyway, we start Cobra starts the way you run Cobra starts the same way every movie should start with a voiceover of Sylvester Stallone telling you suspect crime statistics It goes in America. There's a burglary every 11 seconds with a voiceover of Sylvester Stallone telling you suspect crime statistics. It goes, in America there's a burglary every 11 seconds. Somebody steals a baby every 15 seconds.

You know, we were- Every 34 minutes, somebody says they're gonna pay for a piece of baked goods in a store. They just run away. We should have, it's only now occurring to me that we should have called up our old daily show fact-checker friend, Adam Chodokoff, and be like, hey Adam, can you fact-check these copres?

You just let them see what the crime statistics were for 1986? It's accurate. Well, Dan, I'll have you know that I did the fact-checking myself. That's right, everybody. It's me, Sebastian Sloan. He made it out. I didn't know whether he was going to come, but... When I saw that you were going to talk about my movie Copre, which I... It could be two hours Sloane. He made it out. I didn't know whether he was gonna come, but... When I saw that you were gonna talk about my movie,

Cold Bro, which I... It could be two hours of that, God damn. It's a movie I starred in and wrote, and probably directed to under an assumed name, maybe. Yeah. And maybe I played all the other parts as well. A real tall, de force. Even Brigitte Nielsen's role.

Yes, we met on set and I said, let's get married, but first I will do your part. Allow me to assume your physical form. I got to live out every man's dream of kissing himself on camera. But I checked all those statistics. I went around to the newspaper offices in town and I said, give me your crime statistics.

And I had it. A large man is yelling at us. I was already famous, Daniel. They knew it was me, give me your crime statistics. And I had it. There's a large man is yelling at us. I was already famous, Daniel. They knew it was me, Sylvester Stallone. I'm sorry. I presumed you went out in incognito as a famous man. Impossible. I'm just that famous.

That's true. Once I went, you know, COVID, everyone was wearing masks. And even though I wore a mask, everyone was like, are you Sylvester Stallone? And I'd be like, no, I'm just a masked regular person. It's going like this. You're right. I cannot imagine encountering Sylvester Stallone. I'm not knowing.

It was Sylvester Stallone. Yeah, exactly. Imagine me when I look at myself in the mirror, and I'm like, oh, it's Sylvester Stallone. What are you doing in my house? You get the fuck out of here, and I pull a gun. Say, how'd you get out of here? And my family is like, sly, sly,

because they call me that, too. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. They go, sly, it's you, it's a mirror. And I'm like, oh, thank goodness. I thought I was in the movie, Judge Dredd again, where I was dealing with my clone. Well, I'm glad I took a stab in that road. Well, anyway, maybe I'll be back later.

I don't know. I noticed there was some tostitos in the back. Restaurant style. I'll go have that. Okay, Sylvester Stallone's leaving, it's me again now. In the old days I do a bit where I was like, oh, I just came back, where's Sylvester Stallone? I don't need to do that anymore. He's a more Stallone than Elliot now.

So he has these statistics as we are looking at the handle of a gun with a cobra image on it. And then the gun turns and points at us, the audience. And does it fire? I can't remember. And I'm going to assume it would be an homage to the movie Spellbound. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're kind of given a vision of hell. There's occasional shots of like people riding motorcycles over a red fiery backdrop. It's the blood red skies of Southern California. And there's a mysterious person on a motorcycle. He looks super cool in silhouette.

You'd be forgiven for thinking this is our titular hero, Cobra, the snake man. But no, because intercut with this man riding a bike under these blood red skies are scenes of the meeting of an axe killing cult, which is mainly a bunch of guys who meet in the sewer and they each hold one axe in each hand and clang them together.

Clang them together, yeah. That's the extent of the service, the ceremony. I mean, that sounds like a nice club. You get to a certain age, you just want to meet new people. Yeah. It's hard to make friends after a certain point when you're like, you leave school,

like maybe your kids are all grown up, it's hard to meet people. And so it's not common. like quite yeah yeah I'm actually investing in an axe are that expensive even buy axes I could buy axes you yeah I think you're trying to say about me no I mean I don't know Dan I hate to break it to you this way and for all these people you couldn't buy an axe yeah I mean I think the thing is you just don't have like axe cult vibes, right? Yes, although you are wearing a... Yeah, I'm wearing a plaid flannel. I mean, it feels like you have lumberjack vibes, but for that you're gonna use one of those double crosscut saws, right?

That's true. I need a partner. Yeah. That's another reason people become lumberjacks to meet other people. I mean, another wanted second man for saw. Must like flapjacks. L for L. That's Lumberjack for Lumberjack. Misconnection, I was cutting down a tree.

You were cutting down another tree. What chemistry question, Mark? Thought would be easier to cut down tree together? Answers to name P Bunyan. So we were watching the axe clanging cult and this was the moment when in real life IRL Dan was so excited he knocked over the cup of tea he had made for himself and spilled it all over the desk in my hotel room. And he kept like muttering like, oh word, oh, oh, oh, oh no. Yeah, but more like piglet, yeah. Oh dear, oh, oh. We all know I'd be in the E.O.R.

Yeah, that's true, you would be in E.O.R., that's true. Would be, are. Anyway, so this biker, it's not Sly Sloan. He goes to a supermarket, understandable, that's where the food is, but he's not interested in food. Instead he parks his motorcycle in a handicap spot, so you know this guy is a bad dude. And he goes to the grocery store

and he's just knocking people aside. And then he takes out his pump action shotgun, the official weapon of 1980s low budget action movies, and just starts blasting all the produce. Yeah, this is before Last Boy Scout where we reached peak Uzi culture. Yes, Uzi is what... This is free Uzi. The late 80s, early 90s was Uzi times. But this is the kind of early to mid 80s

where it was all about pump action shotguns. What's the weapon du jour of action movies now? I saw that Oppenheimer, like Atomic Bombs. I think so, yeah. Second Oppenheimer joke in the episode. Really gonna date this episode in the future. Like those swords with a cool handle that has other spikes on them? And what movies is that in?

Science fiction stuff. Sorry. I'm thinking about how we're still in the supermarket. cool handle that has other spikes on them. And what movies is that in? Science fiction stuff. Sorry. I'm thinking about how we're still in the supermarket. But you made a good point, Ellie. Yeah, we're lost in the supermarket. Thank you. Those were the Clash Family.

No, the game that this movie is playing, if you thought that Dirty Harry wasn't fascist enough, this is the movie for you. So, yes, this movie is, it's saying we need cops that will break every rule and every bone in a perpetrator's body. And what kind of world justifies that cop? A world of nonstop random violence.

Cattling maniacal criminal violent people with no particular motivation for anything they're doing. And after that, as we'll learn later, they have a very good, if vague, and seemingly tacked on motivation. I mean, if they, like, put a bow on it, they even cast the serial killer from Dirty Harry to play a cop in this world.

That's how bad this world is. Scorpio from Dirty Harry is one of the cops in this world. He's the voice of reason. He's the one like, and he's the weak process who's always like cobra you really shouldn't have ripped that guy's throat out before before we knew if he had parked in that handicapped spot like that's how bad this world is Scorpio is the is the nice guy so anyway he's blasting stuff up the we need negotiator Monty played again by the by by the Scorpio his name I can't remember what's his real name?

Thank you. It's the husband from Hellraiser. Yeah, but that's not his name. He's on... I think he's at this point. His driver's license is hellraiser, comma, the husband from? I mean, if you polled everyone in the world, the percentage of people who mostly knew him

as a husband from Hellraiser over his real name would probably be higher. Fair point, fair point. And as we know, that's how you choose someone's name. This is my popular vote. Yeah, everyone's name gets voted in the United States. I don't know how they do things here. In the United States, everyone votes on everybody's name all the time. Yeah, I feel like even Julia in Hellraiser would be like, yeah, he's just the husband.

I don't know. So he's like a weenie negotiator. He represents all that Cobra says is wrong. He's shouting through a megaphone, just come out and talk to us. We want to help you. We promise weenie negotiator. He represents all that Cobra says is wrong. He's shouting through a megaphone, just come out and talk to us. We wanna help you. We promise we won't hurt you. And he's shooting people in the back with his shotgun.

That's when the cop that's above him goes, call the Cobra. The Cobra gets called. He drives up in his old car. Call the Dragula. Yeah. And his car has the license, awesome 50. Called a dragula. Yeah. His car has the license Awesome 50, awesome sold AWSUM, I think it was.

And Glass' cop does not like that. He's like, I don't approve of his actions. Guys, can you do it when Cobra steps out, Cobra ready the cop. Describe kind of his general look, his allure, kind of like, what's his image? Well, later he's described as like some sort of, he was like, oh, reject from the 50s or something like that or... Uh-huh, yeah.

And he did, there's nothing particularly 50s about it, he just has kind of like jeans and a black shirt. Jeans, biker boots, trench coat, sunglasses, always, matchstick, always on his mouth until he burns a guy alive later with it. Yeah, with his one matchstick. Oh, that was good. Now I gotta get a new one. I don't even know how you do that. That was my best friend.

And of course, I appreciate your sacrifice. And he carries his signature weapon, a pistol with a cobra on it, stuffed into his belt instead of in a holster or something. Yeah, and he also has throwing knives. I don't know where he keeps those, butobra gets, he goes into this grocery store. He's stalking through the baddie. He's trying to shoot him. And then he's ranting about how the people here are trash.

They deserve to die. This is a new world coming. And Cobra gets on the store PA and he goes, it's time to waste you. And they have a standoff, the two of them at gunpoint. They're both holding guns. And the baddie is like, I've got a bomb. I'm a hero of the new world.

And he goes, I'll pull out the whole store. And so I still own, has a number of very good quips in this movie. He goes, that's okay, I don't shop here. And here's when he says, the key line of the movie goes, you're a disease and I'm the cure. And he throws a throwing knife at him and then shoots him to death.

So we're presenting a world where it's so dangerous that you need a guy like Cobra. You want a guy like Cobra. You love a guy like Cobra. Yeah, a man who is essentially a later still-owned character, Judge Dredd, in that he will provide the sentence and carry it out himself. But he doesn't wear a helmet.

That's the main difference. Not even when he rides like a motorcycle later on which is a bad message for kids so any kids out there cobra where the message in cobra that we have to protect the kid yeah uh... and still own uh... he gets them and these reporters crowded when he walks out there like

co-brandy co-brandy uh... is this related to the night slasher we hear a lot about the night slasher in this movie it was deep in this world is do he goes, and this reporter goes, did you use unnecessary force? What makes you judge and jury? And luckily, the dead body of one of the victims is lying right there with a blanket over him.

And he goes, he gets mad and pushes a reporter at the body and goes, you tell this family, oh, anyway, and that's, it's a terrible argument because... But... Checkmate. But we see, Cobraity, he doesn't keep bullying people with his greater physical force just on the job.

He does that at home too. He goes home, the parkings body wants to get his, who is too small and the car in front refuses to move, so he gets into his car and pushes their car ahead with his. Luckily, their car was in neutral, I guess, the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be honest, when you say, bullying people at home, I completely forgot about this and I thought you were going to talk about that he bullied

that piece of pizza. We'll get there. We'll get there. Sorry, slice of pizza. Shirley and I apologize. And when the people, yeah, piece of pizza, the other people are like, hey, what are you doing? And they are very much stereotypical kind of Chicano

LA types. I'd let you would see in 80s movies. He gets mad. And he grabs the undershirt collar of one of them and just rips it off of him. And he's like. What's the guy's like surprisingly chill about? Yes. At that point he's like.

He's like, oh, I was gonna rip it anyway. It's cooler this way. No, you know, I needed to get a new undershirt. I was gonna get a new shirt. You know what, I know when I've been bested. By a man tearing my shirt up. I don't like the violent hostility, but you could have punched me, you could have kicked me.

Instead, you used your imagination. You ripped off the undershirt I was wearing under my other shirt. God damn it, I respect it. I commend your freedom and creativity. So, Cobra goes home, and then one moment after another, is this amazing, he picks up a new speaker? I'm just imagining that's the name of the sequel novel

Yeah, oh, it's my high school union. I gotta go back to it. I guess Life is really changed for me I Written by rice So Covery he picks up his newspaper, immediately throws it in his barbecue grill, goes into his house,

because he doesn't care about the media. He goes into his house, opens the freezer, takes out a pizza box and an egg carton. He takes out a pair of scissors, cuts a little tiny triangle of pizza off the slice and eats that, and then the egg carton is just full of his gun maintenance collection. It's already a triangle.

Yeah. And it's got a crust to hold onto. Why is he making it harder for me? He's making a very important point about fractals. Because what is not made clear in the movie, but if you read the novel by Alan D. Foster, it's all in there, that Co-Bretty has a PhD in mathematics. I was trying to solve these Poincaré equations,

but instead I got called up to service to fight crime Yeah Got a triangle just another triangle, you know Triangles all the way. Yeah, is that what the lesson you want us to give walk away? That's what I take away from Cobra So I took away from it you got to wear a helmet when you ride a motorcycle and you took triangles all over What was it? Triangle triangle triangle a motorcycle and you took triangles all over What was it? Triangle triangle triangle triangle world. Yeah. Hey, baby triangles all over

You ever tried angles So anyway The news on TV while he's cleaning his gun with his frozen gun maintenance kit. Maybe that's how you do it I don't have a gun. I don't know. Does it have to be super cold to clean a gun with I don't know The news is talking about there's another victim of the Night Slasher, a serial killer, identity unknown, and there's no theme to the victims. Everyone is a possible victim of the Night Slasher,

and he seems to use household simple weapons tools. There's so many notes in that notebook. Yeah, get ready. Anyway, we see another, then we cut to, there's a waitress going home at night. She's attacked by masked guys with axes. They kill her. It's this axe cult.

The cops are talking and Cobra's like, I think there's more than one killer at work. He has nothing to base this on, but Cobra's just that good a cop. He just knows. And Glass' cop is like, you shouldn't be involved. And Cobra's like, we're gonna lose as long as they play by the rules and we don't.

We don't know as long as we play by the rules and they don't. I don't remember when I wrote the movie. I want to see this one man, Elliot Kaylin. One man, one night only, Cobra. Elliot Kaylin is Sylvester Stallone as Cobra. And everyone else. And everyone else, Francis, and everyone else in Cobra.

Tonight. You know, you won't let me go after those people. You shouldn't go after those people, Cobra, but I gotta go after those people. Sorry, Cobra, you can't go after those people. That scene goes on for a while. He did it, raves the times. But why? Questions the times after. And he has like a sidekick who wears a little cap, right? He likes junk food. Yes, yes. He has his sidekick whose name is Sergeant D'Ali. I like that you're like, is that his trainer? Because he does?

Yeah. It's like a Burgess Meredith style, like, well, he's wearing a little old fashioned cabby cap, and he doesn't dress, he's not in uniform or anything, and he doesn't do anything except talk about junk food for most of the movie. And they have a little back, they always have back and forth banter.

Cobra's always like, you know, you guys start eating right. You can't eat all this junk food. And he's like, aw, but I love junk food. It's all I want to eat. And again, this is a good message for the kids. Balance diet, please. Don't be like with Sergeant Gonzalez. You got to eat good things.

Anyway. And also, this is the flavoring of the movie that I like the best. Yes. Like wacky crap that doesn't have anything to do with, like, I don't know, the politics of it. There's another victim of the Axe Maniacs, but they're not wearing their pantyhose masks this time, and Brigitte Nielsen is driving by

to what appears to be a modeling shoot that was scheduled for 10.30 PM or 11 PM, and she sees the face of the guy who commits the murder, which as we'll find out is the leader of this axe cult, and she sees the face of the guy who commits the murder, which as we'll find out is the leader of this ex cult. And we find out after that the woman who is part of this murder, she's a cop too. Oh no, one of the cops is a bad guy. They're not all good cops. Just co-bretty. And to a lesser extent Gonzalez. But even he has a fatal flaw of loving junk food, which as you all know, traditionally each hero has to have a heroic flaw.

Is this his love of junk food? Is that what they were trying to convey with the idea that he was cutting up just a little bit of pizza? Maybe that he's watching his calories? I guess so. It reminds me of my favorite line that Stallone has in Tango and Cash. Yeah. When he jumps out from behind the refrigerator of a dirty cop who set him up and sent him to jail. A dirty cop is, I think, just holding a bowl of pasta that was just in the fridge or something like

that. He goes, well, it's obvious from your diet you're not watching your calories. Seems you were just watching the money they paid you to set us up. And it's such a stretch. It is not a Cobra level quip, but I love it. And he's really got to rush to get it out. So, we know there's some on the inside and she looks up the witness' license plate to find out who owns that car, an old time computer. And the police captain is like, we've got no leads, Cobra, okay, you're on the job,

you and your friends, the cab driver slash your trainer, you're gonna shake down the town and do what you do. And this leads to the most amazing montage maybe since Sergey Eisenstein invented the technique. And I know he didn't realize, I guess what Kuleshov did. I'm not a cinema studies major. Anyway, so these are the three strains of this montage. Stallone and his partner walk in the streets, which are mainly covered in homeless people, and going into places and asking people questions. Bridget Nielsen doing the photo shoot

in which she is wearing different outfits around different antique statues of robots. And a few shots of the bad guy just kind of looking mean and holding his knife and stuff like that. But the montage starts intercutting Stallone and the robots. And you're like, so are there robots in this movie? Well, yeah, and the robots like are lighting up in a way where you're like, they are there robots in this movie? Yeah, and the robots like are lighting up in a way where you're like, well, you know what's going on?

No, the montage ends with this ominous music and the light shutting off except for the like, the robot's eyes being on you. Like, is this gonna turn into a movie about how these robots kill people? Do they know they're in the photo shoot? And the photo shoot is being done by David Rash, TV Sledgehammer,

also in Succession, etc. Burn After Reading. Burn After Reading. He's like a dad in some Ashton Kutcher movie. Yeah, he gets killed almost immediately. Disappointment. He hits on Ingrid, the model, and then gets instantly killed by the axe people as they attack them.

Oh, I forgot. There's great... The music in this movie is great. And the montage is set to a song called Angel of the City. And it's amazing. Anyway, so the photographer, he gets killed. A nerdy bystander who just seems to be walking out of a store, he gets killed, and then they step on his glasses after he's dead, which is adding insult to injury.

Those glasses belong to his family now. Now he has nothing to leave them. The security guard, she runs off to him and she's like, help me, and he starts firing his gun to the bad guys and they ram a van into him. So. And it's like one of many very good practical stunts. Yes.

Like it's very intense and like, I don't know. There's a number of stunts here where you're like, whoa, that's a good stunt. I hope nobody got hurt doing that. Like later on in the movie, people are just flying off on motorcycles, wearing helmets, thankfully. I hate to sound like an old man, but it's way too late for that.

No, I mean, like this movie, like we were saying, it comes from a time where even the worst movies kind of looked beautiful because they had to shoot them in real places, they had to light for films, they had to actually think about the, I mean, not everything, but like. Yeah, like the shoot everything like the grocery store where they're like why is there so much dry ice in here well I remember watching you just do you were like when who turned off all the lights in the grocery store but it looks fucking cool

it's a good it is a it's a good-looking movie it is a and not just alone. It looks incredible. Yeah, the the director's son Went on to make Mandy in other movies. Did you research that or you just yeah? No, I yeah, so you imagine as a kid He was on the cobra set walking around he's got to have been on the cover So what a lucky kid if I could do anything to be that boy If I could I could just change places with them guys find me a magic fountain that a magic fountain that I can pee in with him and then go back in time. Okay, okay. Yeah. It has to be the pee scenario though. It can't be like...

Name me another way to switch bodies with somebody. Touching a skull at the same time. Magic skulls. Yeah, magic skulls. Making a wish. Yeah, magic skulls. That's a real thing, Dan. Give me a magic fountain. Making a wish on a Friday.

You know, go down to like Coney Island and like get a you know the Zoltar statue That's just a big situation, but I bet he could do a swap okay, yeah, ask them for a swap specifically Yeah, that's pretty fucked up. I mean like he's still a little kid and that lady. Oh, man. That's messed up But she doesn't know we need to go down that road. I mean I But she doesn't know we're the little kids. We didn't need to go down that road. But I mean, I agree with you, but... Look, it's hard to talk about big without talking about two things. How it's about a little kid who has sex with a lady.

And also that the toys that company makes, even when he gives them advice, are not good. It's not a good toy company. Yeah. Take that toy company and be... Also, that keyboard thing is bullshit. Tell me, okay, speak to it. Speak your truth about Big.

It's kind of sexist a toy and it breaks easily. Okay, so you're saying that Robert Lohz and Tom Hanks wouldn't be able to dance Chopra's like that? Not in real life. That was just movie magic? I mean, they could. That's the kind of practical stunt we're talking about. Come out here. Okay, everybody, enough about Big. This isn't the Big episode of the podcast. This is the Cobra episode of the podcast,

because there's no one bigger than Sylvester Stallone. Anyway, so the police show up, the bad guys run off, Ingrid has been saved. She's interviewed by Cobraity and Gonzalez, and the evil Lady Cop is kind of watching her through a window, and she tells them the least amount of information she could possibly get away with.

They're like, you wanna, why don't you come after you? You owe anyone money? No, you're involved with drugs or people who do drugs or sell drugs? She goes, no, which is bullshit. She's in the fashion industry, I'm sorry. But then she's like, you know what? Earlier in the night, I drove by a man and he scared me. And they're like, what?

He just looks scary. What time was that around? 10 o'clock. And he's like, that's the airtight lead we need. She drove by a scary guy. Yeah. And the ex cult leader, he, and so it tells about who,

his name in the credits is just Night Slasher. But where else have we seen him? He's the alien bounty hunter from X-Files. He was the judge in Buffy. He was one of the punks in Terminator. He's one of the punks in Terminator with Bill Paxton. He's all over genre movies, because he's like a big, distinctive looking guy.

Yeah, he is just sharpening knives, and he's putting so much effort into it, he's coated in sweat. I fucking love this movie. Has a hero and a villain both with like signature weapons. He's got this like plus five dagger with spikes. Like I love that shit. And he keeps it sharp.

He takes good care of it. But he's totally a sword guy. He loses that thing. He's fucking done, man. He can't, he doesn't have unarmed combat. And he's got some pretty bad roles later on. That's part of it also. The evil lady cop is like, let me kill her for you.

And he goes, no, this one's mine. And she's in the hospital still, Ingrid, because she was so frightened so badly, I guess. And Kobraidi and Gonzalez, Kobraidi's like, you're going to have to stay here under guard. And then offers Gonzalez whatever she has left over from her hospital food, and he's like, you're gonna have to stay here under guard. And then offers Gonzalez whatever she has left over from her hospital food and he just takes it. And at no point is she like, what are you doing?

Like what? You're gonna eat my leftovers? I'm supposed to trust you as protection now? This is, Cobra and Gonzalez, they banter a little bit about whether she's attractive or not and Cobra goes home and those punks whose undershirts he ripped, they respect him now. They respect his strength. Cobra does home and those punks whose undershirts he ripped, they respect him now. They respect his strength. Cobra ready does some computer research at home

on a very old-timey computer. And meanwhile, the cult leader is entering the hospital. He kills a janitor, steals the uniform. The uniform fits him perfectly despite him being a foot and a half taller. It's age of 47. Yeah. It's again, it's the traveling.

The magic. It's the sort of the the traveling janitors onesie What those called jumpsuits? Generally called jumpsuits instead of onesies. Yeah, you're saying janitors don't routinely wear outfits that are legless and snap at the cross Yeah, he's of diaper changing and say my daddy loves pavement. Yeah, no, no, it's one of those like a Brooklyn specific Could be one of those onesies they sell at tourist spots that are like I might mommy drinks that kind of thing Yeah, yeah, exactly. Don't like them. I don't like I'm not saying that approvingly. It's wine o'clock somewhere You're like kid you're a baby

You're scared, kid, you're a baby. Oh, man. You're scaring this baby straight. Yeah. We talked your baby. You got your whole life ahead of you. You don't want to get in jail. You know what they do to babies in jail? What do you got to be stressed about, baby? Huh? Come on.

I mean, babies have a lot to be stressed about. Their mom walks out of the room. They don't know if she's ever coming back. That's true. Maybe she doesn't exist anymore. You know what? I shouldn't make fun of baby's pain just because it's different from my own.

Yeah, that's, Dan, I'm glad that we opened your mind about babies. There you now, Alex. They're all right. All right, raves Dan McCoy on Human Young. Yeah, you don't put babies in corners. No, you never do that. You never put babies in corners.

Thank you. What if they're getting a timeout? Why would you give a baby a time out? They don't understand why they're being disciplined, Dan. They're babies. Wham, wham. That's enough out of you, time out. This is the only way I know how to communicate. Wham.

Do you think the big lift dance move in Dirty Dancing dirty dancing is because her name is much easier with a baby? Yeah, they're like well her name is baby. That's what you do with babies. Yeah, I mean you don't usually do that What do what do you do with them then you do what J. Orback does and you carry around Jennifer gray and a Bjorn strap This is what yeah, I still love carrying you around baby, And she's like, okay, I guess it is my nickname. I guess you do have to carry me around in this thing. And then he's feeding her like strained peas and things like that. Sure, build out the world.

So anyway, the cult leader gets real distracted for mission one, which is killing the witness and decides to go after a nurse just because the movie needs another body to get killed. He's about to stab, he sneaks into Ingrid's room, Ingrid's room, he's about to stab her bed when he has the strangest non-sequitur, which is he just goes, pretty hair.

And then stabs her bed, she wasn't even in it. She walks out of the bathroom and is surprised to see him, which is like, did he imagine the hair or? We must have not been paying attention and she put like a wig in there and which is like, did he imagine the hair or? We must have not been paying attention and she put like a wig in there and that was like She like homo, a clumsy screenwriter's way of being like, ah, this will really underline what's going on rather than confusing it.

And the weirdest thing before this is, part of his trap for the nurse he killed is that he goes into an old lady's room and puts the janitor's mop in the bed with her as if that's making the nurse think thatitor's mop in the bed with her as if that's making the nurse think that he's actually in the bed and not her. She's like, oh, long stringy, greasy hair attached to a metal mop head. But anyway, he's after her. She locks herself in the bathroom, stabs through the door of the bathroom. Meanwhile, Cobraity's finally

there, but he doesn't get there in time to save her. She runs into the hallway because the bathroom has a back door that exits on the hallway, which seems... I mean, I've spent a lot of time in hospitals these days, but do the bathrooms routinely have a public door and a private door? You know what? I can't speak to that, but I do know that there's a supreme lack of privacy

in hospitals, so maybe they just do it to add a little less privacy. What can we do here to minimize... We already see everyone's butts all the time. So she pulls off the fire alarm, the falls flood with people, the cult leader, knowing he's not going to get her this time. He leaves. The next day, Colberti is like, this cult's got to have somebody on the inside.

And they're like, prove it. And he's like, well, I can't. If I could, I'd be doing something about it already. If I could, could I tell you earlier if I had roof. Yeah, everyone's mad at him. They're so mad at him It seems that people just yelling You got a lot of nerve co-breadie. He's like, yeah, but the nerve I got is pretty good or something like that, you know Actually the real one you go you got a you got a real attitude problem He goes, yeah, it was just a little one Which is a line that sounds really good. Then you you think about it, you're like, his attitude problem is enormous.

Like he's a... I think he's being facetious though. I guess that's true. Facetious is like, confused, but he doesn't mean it. Yeah. It's like, why did you believe all that stuff? Things I said. All those aphorisms, they don't make that much sense if you think about them for more than just a little bit. I see when my disciples collected my Anilects into one book, they couldn't put Winking in front of the seas in front of every one of them. JK, JK was the end of a lot of these. I don't...

So they got to take Ingrid to a safe house. Kobredi, Gonzalez, and mean evil Lady Cop, because there are no other police officers, I guess, they take her and Stallone's like, why there were cops on guard at Ingrid's hospital, why were they removed? And Glass' cop is like, I don't know, find it out yourself, dude. They don't.

They don't bother to look into it. But as they're driving away, the X-cult again makes another strange move. This is a secret underground cult that kills at night. They decide to set two, that is, kills people with X's. They send two carloads of people with guns to chase after them in broad daylight, and this leads to-

Like a witness who may have seen somebody do something. Certainly, this witness would not stand up in court. Oh, I saw that person and they were scary. Did you see them committing a crime? Isn't being scary a crime? Of course not. If it was, then R.L. Stein would've been locked up a long time ago.

Yeah. And now, can you point out to the court the man who gave you goosebumps? It's okay, he can't hurt you now. It was that man. We find you innocent of goosebumps, but guilty of the lesser charge of goosebumps pimples. Yeah, he plea-barganted? Yeah. So, there's a big car chase. It's honestly, guys, how would you describe this car chase? Awesome or extremely awesome?

There's a lot of slow-mo jumping in the air as they go over hills. It's the same hills sort of three times because it is that awesome. Yeah, and we see it multiple times. Cobra, when he finally pulls out a machine gun, he shoots a car to pieces or something like that. He basically skins the car, he's peeling an apple, he shoots it and somehow the carapace comes off. Yeah.

I'm not really sure. I do love that he's like, I have this witness that I'm trying to protect in the car, I'm gonna chase these flowkers. Yeah, well, so Isaac has the most three rules of co-products. Tell us that, number one, kill bad guys. Law number two, protect good guys unless it conflicts with law number one.

Law number three, cut up that pizza smaller. Unless it conflicts with law two or law one. So if a bad guy was like, you could kill me or you could cut up pizza, obviously Cobra has to follow the first law and kill him. But on the other hand, if it's like, don't do Cobra, don't cut up that pizza because it's attached to a bomb that'll destroy a good guy,

they go, oh, I can't do it. Law 2 supersedes Law 3. I mean, the things you're saying are dumb, but I admire the skill for which, like, the speed at which you sort of like came through with the, what would the logic be of these scenarios? Yeah, sure. I spent a lot of time thinking about Asimov's laws in case I ever become a robot.

In case you need to. Yeah. In case I ever got a programmer robot for a fashion shoot. Anyway. I don't want this robot to kill Brigitte Mielsen, so I better put some safeguards in here. Yeah, so eventually the hunter becomes the hunted, Stallone's going after the bad guys, flips his nitrous boost, the thing that you think you would do the first to get away from the bad guys, but no.

And eventually the bad guys get away. They manage to crash into a boat that's on the land. Night time. The superiors are like, co-breadie, you almost killed the witness, blah, blah, blah. He's like, I want to take Ingrid out of town for her protection. And my glasses copy is like, did you have to kill so many people? And CoBretty is going to punch him. But they agree, let CoBret take the witness outside.

Worst case scenario, at least all the violence that trails everywhere will be outside of the city. And that plan works. and Gonzalez and bad guy cop go along also. On the drive, we get finally some talking time between Kovreti and Ingrid. And he gets to explain to Ingrid that when he arrests people, the judges just let them go.

And Ingrid is like, that makes me sick. And I'm like, well, that's how it works. I mean, that's what happens. It's called the criminal justice system. It's not your job to circumvent it, Cobra. No, but I mean also that kind of conversion where she's like, oh, I think the law is a good thing. He's like, actually it's not.

Let me red pill you. Yeah. You know, I was doing my own research and it turns out judges are just letting people go. Yeah, yeah. I mean, this is her equivalent of being like, tell me about Quentin Tarantino movies. Yeah.

This is also like where she falls in love with him during the course of one scene for no particular reason. Yeah well because you know they're all weird people. Is this where they're stopped at the roadside? Yes. Tell us so they stop at a... It's like a novelty stand on the road. Like it has a rubber chicken hanging. It's a roadside stand where you would expect to see fresh produce but as Dan is saying it's selling novelties and like goofy things. Like he'd be driving another road and be like, oh, you know what? I did need some X-ray specs.

Hold on. Let me stop real quick for this. A bobble had wearing a Padres uniform and a rubber chicken. Could I have the gum that snaps your finger when you try and take a piece? Oh, is this locally made? No. oh, okay, I'll buy it anyway. Yeah, we raise our own whoopee cushions here at the farm. Yeah. Oh, well, you can really tell the difference. You can really tell.

Now is this actual peanut butter? Oh, no, it is snakes. Okay, I'll take the snakes. Open that slowly, open that slowly. Now we have the ones that come with real snakes and the ones that come with fake snakes. The real snakes, that would be really dangerous. They're dead, they don't even pop out.

It's just kinda gross. Oh yeah, you know what logically, it makes sense to me now that a snake wouldn't do well just stuck in a can. No, they do very badly. I tell you, whoever can crack keeping a snake alive in a can will be a millionaire someday. Build a better snake trap.

They said it couldn't be done. And yet my son has figured out how to do it. Oh, no he didn't. No, no. It's dead again. I'm sorry I called all the assembled press here for this conference. This roadside novelty stand. Please, take a free whoopee cushion as you go. Well, that story didn't pan out, but now Geraldo's going to open up Al Capone's vault.

Let's see how that turns out. It's the 80s. Okay, so meanwhile, the axe cult is doing... Oh, this is when Gonzalez goes, hey, you should call Cobra this and whisper something. And she comes over and goes, ah, nice to meet you. Marion Cobra ready? That's his name. Marion Cobra ready.

What the fuck? What? This tough guy? His name is Marion? Why, you'd have to be fucking John Wayne to be named Marion, because that's his actual name. Anyway, and later on he's like, you know, you get beat up a lot as a kid, so that's why I'm tough and I cute people. Because I had a name like that. Meanwhile, the Axcult is doing what they do best, hanging out the sewers, banging their axes together.

Clanging, clanging, clanging. Maybe that's how they talk to each other. Yeah. They can't hear shit anymore because of all the clanging. They click at each other like mimics. And for some reason, they make another stop. They stop at a burger place where we have to see Sylvester Sloan's funny side.

He picks up a big novelty hamburger and he's like, oh, they're making pretty big over here, don't they? And he's like, she puts so much ketchup on her fries, and he's like, oh, your fries, they're drowning. Oh, and he's a lifesaver for those fries. He's got a lot of food material this guy. Just let me fucking eat, slob.

On the way over to the safe house, we got to stop at this one burger place. I got a lot of site-specific material. It doesn't work anywhere else. You won't believe this hamburger they got. Yeah, I always go ahead of time to check out where we're going to stop so I can come up with some material. See, there's an easy coin there, you know? It's what I'm famous for.

Well, I think you're mostly famous for killing criminals without reading them their rights or anything like that. Yeah, but it's the comedy that I want to be known for. Yeah. You know, comedy is really art when you think about it. Oh boy. Okay. Is Nanette stand up? I don't know. Cobra, we don't need to hear it. We don't need it. Okay, and she is coming on to him hard.

She goes, do you ever date women? And he's like, you'd have to be crazy to date me. Which is notably self-knowing, self-knowledging. Yeah, and he's still just made it. She puts even more ketchup on it, just cuts her a shot of his face and he's like, what, do I wanna date this woman? So much sugar and acid in there. I just cut to a shot of his face and he's like, what, do I want to date this woman?

So much sugar and acid in there. This is your vinegar intake, it's too high. I've been giving my partner a guff about it, but at least he puts a reasonable amount of ketchup on these french fries. Is that a red flag for you, Ellen? Yeah, it's as red as the sauce itself. No, Stuart, it's not, because you you know what I truly believe ketchup is the humble everyman king of the condiments Not a joke unless it's

Jars where someone has an old-timey mustache. Oh, you mean sir. Can didn't in touch up? So my kids want to call anyone out by name. They might you know, I'll do it So there's so in my family. There's a big catch-up battle. My sister hates catch-up. She's not a part of it. She refuses to pick a side, which I think is immoral. But anyway, Heinz catch-up, it's the biggest catch-up in the world. There's this fancier catch-up called Sir Kensington's that has a man on a mustache on the label. My children are not a fan of this catch-up.

I think it's fine. It's just catch-up. But every time I go to the store, I go, guess what? They had your favorite catch-up, Sir Kensington's, and they get so mad. Anyway, feel free to sponsor our shows, sir Kensington's. It's night at the motel. Oh, so now the X-Cult, they arm up, they get guns, they get on their motorcycles, they are riding. And we learned that this roadside bar and town they're staying in is a foundry town? That's important because that's going to be the location for the final battle of foundry

that I guess just makes sparks and flames and stuff. Yeah. It's a make work project. Yeah. It's just to employ people. There's a big crane on a chain that just goes back and forth. It doesn't really do much of anything. So yeah, they're in an old foundry town.

They stay at a motel that night and Cobra catches the evil cop using a payphone. It was very suspicious But not for the reasons he thinks it is. He's like, what is Gonzalez? And she's like, oh, he's asleep in the room. Well, I choose the phone in the room And it's like, look, she just told you he's asleep like what what kind of jerk uses the phone in the room when the person was sleeping there But he thinks it's a very suspicious and she's like, oh, it was broken. It's like, you just, you know, all you have to tell him is he's sleeping. I don't, anyway.

It made this- It really hit a nerve with you. It did. I feel like, well, I don't like it when a move, when something is supposed to be like the key that tips someone off about something, but it is a dumb thing that should not do it. Oh, why'd you shoot that one?

Had you know that was one of the kidnappers, not one of the hostages? His shoes. Really? You know that much about shoes? He was wearing kidnapper shoes. I hate the ones where there's like, I never said their name.

I'm like, I know that with my memory, I could easily say someone's name and then forget I said it. I'm just like, yeah, if you say that, I told you, I trust you, man. Like, how else would you know? Certainly not some evil scheme, you know? And also, usually, they're probably pretty good about not saying stuff they're not supposed to know.

These are evil masterminds we're talking about. Yeah, exactly. They're masterminds. We're constantly coming up against them. That's why we need a cobra! Anyway, Ingrid is watching Sylvester Stallone put guns together and she is so turned on that she has to call him over to the bed so they can start making out.

I mean, the gun has a laser sight, man, it's so cool. Yeah, it's like a future gun, that's true. Yeah, the next morning, the bad cop is gone. Uh-oh, the axe cult arrives. The bad cop is pointing out where the everyone else is. They attack this roadside motel. There's so much shooting. They're just destroying this place the guns and grenades and

firebombs and motorcycles and everything yeah all the weapons in the in the rainbow the weapons rainbow yeah again talking to you know of course back in the 80s we had the weapons pyramid that we had yeah. And they decided to put more Oozies in, I guess. You don't actually need this to be Oozies per day. So Gonzalez gets shot. Oh no, there's a lot of great stunt falls. And there's some good bits. I like that there's an evil sniper guy in the X-cult

who every time he lifts a sniper rifle up, the camera cuts to sniper vision for a second. So that first shot is a fantastic shot where you're looking at the motel and then the sniper scope lifts up into frame so that it becomes that you're now looking through the scope that was a cool shot yeah it's great that should be on that one perfect shot Twitter feed that whose standards are kind of up and down you know a little iffy at times but yeah damn you know yeah I'm coming up with hot after hot Is great

do it Why they're cobra deniers come on anyway, so they escape ingrid and slide they escape in a truck Slides in the flatbed of the truck pickup truck just shooting people This is the platonic ideal of an action movie He's a man standing up in a moving pickup truck with a machine gun shooting motorcycle riders. They have to smash through a flaming car barricade, which makes them get out of the car, the truck for some reason. Some guy climbs on the hood of the car, falls off, gets run over. It's great. Now they're running on foot through an orange grove. They're making use of the space. Like

any great Mime artist, they get separated. Ingrid runs into the foundry pursued by the evil cop She shoots the controls in such a way that it starts the foundry up, which is I guess a fail-safe mechanism They're like what if we lose the key to the machine don't worry Don't worry. It's made so that if you shoot it it turns on okay That's what if it gets shot by accident by like ancult cop. I don't think that's gonna happen. Also don't shoot anywhere around it or else it'll just ricochet and hurt you. Yeah, we are surrounded by metal. Don't do that. The cult leader finally shows up. He's tired of letting his goons do their work and his stalking ingrid through this flaming sparks factory and

Sly Stallone, he's set in traps for all these cult members. He puts a grenade somewhere and then waits for them to walk over to it and then shoots the grenade to blow them up. And it's like, that seems time consuming. And you're really hoping that they walk by that one spot. Yeah, you know what? You can just throw the grenade at them. It only now occurred to me that this one normally

does with a grenade. Yeah, if he just fires two bullets, one into each guy, he's successful. Yeah, he has both a gun and a grenade, and he's not using it effectively. Yeah. I mean, you do not need to be using it in tandem. Look, I get you want style points, okay?

It's a multiplier for your total score. But it's true. It is like turning on a TV so that your other TV will, that's attached to the clapper, will turn on when he hears the sound of that TV. It seems like an extra unnecessary step. He does cover someone with gasoline and then what just throws a match on them and burns them alive. It's like at that point it's gratuitous.

We haven't gotten to the most gratuitous kill, the biggie. Gratuitous Kill is a great name for an 80s action movie. Why did they make that? Dan, why didn't you make that? I guess I'll go through the portal of time, or the port hole of time. I even fucking fucked up my own thing. You do.

I even fucking fucked up my own thing. Dan McCoy. But Gratuitous Kill, we got a killer looking through the blinds at a lady changing, with a dash in and tweezers inside. It starts with a lady changing. We got a killer looking through the blinds at Lady Changing. It starts with a Lady Changing. We pull back to show that's a video on a screen being watched by another lady who's changing. I didn't know this was a prime diploma movie. Then we pull back to reveal that this is actually being watched through a window by a naked lady.

And she kills the lady, but in a way where the bullet also hits the TV. The screen doesn't break the TV. There's just a bullet hole over the heart of the visual image. Cut to the cops are like the naked lady killer struck again. What are we gonna do? What can we do? And Saul gratuitous, the bad, the like over the edge cop, he's like, you gotta send me out there.

I'm the only one who can do it. Saul gratuitous, we only send you into the worst of worst situations. And for some reason, a serial killer does not meet that definition for some reason. Every time we send you out, you kill at least three more people than you need to. Hey, let's just say I get the most from my money. He's got a lot of those kinds of lines. It's an extra added value. Yeah, not even bang for your buck. I mean, that's more obvious, right? He's workshopping a lot of these. We're so close to the end of Cove,

but we gotta push through. We gotta... All right, we'll tell you more about Gritudin's skills some other time, I guess. We can't. So, uh... So, TM. Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, copyright us. Don't anyone steal it. Come on. So, only the cult leader's left alive, and he's doing his classic rant, there's a new world coming. We're paving it. We have to kill the weak so the strong survive.

We are the future. It is a very messy philosophy. You know, he makes a lot of good points now that I think about it. And also I feel like Cobra would follow a lot of these beliefs. If this was a better movie, I mean if this was another kind of bad movie, you'd say we're not so different, you and I, but if this was a better movie, they do a better job of drawing a parallel where like, yeah, the world they're creating is the world Cobra thinks he lives in

and wants to live in because then he can do Whatever he wants, but this is a movie that I think it for some reason they can't make that connection And maybe it's where Sylvester Stallone's head was at at the time that he's like, can you believe this bad guy doing this thing? Anyway, the good guy who does the same thing. He's cool. Yeah, I know it's you it's literally a good guy with a gun argument Yeah, or in this case, a knife versus a chain, which becomes just a bare hands at a certain point. Anyway, he's like, Cobra, you won't kill me, you have to take me and even I have rights,

and then the courts will call me insane and let me go. Hey, hey, hey, hey, and Cobra, he goes. And like at this point, at this point, he has shown no compunction to kill anybody. If ever there was a guy in the speech doesn't work with, it is Kobretty. The guy was just mowed down every single one of your followers.

Kobret, this boy is like, allow me to present my rebuttal, which is to take him, put him on a hook, and then push him into some fire. Yeah. Kills it. They have a fight and they do it. Not since I saw a dial of destiny where the bad guys are so kill crazy.

And then when they are in a room with the two heroes and they're like, give us the thing or we'll kill you. And it's like, you killed the guy who opened the gate for you at the airport. Just like, shoot them both. What are you doing? Anyway, they have a big fight. It ends with Sv'Holonia, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and this guy by just impaling him on a giant hook, which pulls him into fire.

And, uh, Sylvester Niggred reunite, police descend on the area, Gonzalez is alive and asks for some gummy bears, and the police boss is like, you did a good job, Cobra. You need anything, tell me. And Cobra goes, I need my car replaced. And he goes, it's not in the budget. Walks away.

Great fucking moment. I was like, yeah. I was my car replaced. And he goes, it's not in the budget. Walks away. Ha ha ha ha. Great fucking moment. Honestly. Yeah. I was thinking more in case like you need someone to house sit while you recover on a vacation or something. And Weenie Cop, he taunts Cobra. He's like, no, but you know, no hard feelings. But you don't really have to do all that stuff.

And Cobra punches him. And the audience at that point, I guess, is supposed to go nuts cheering. Yeah, this was the stand up and cheer moment at the Oscars that year, actually. Yeah, yeah. They were like, well, we wish we could stand up and cheer at the flash entering a speed force,

but it hasn't happened yet. Or someday. Or, oh. So, yeah, you're right. Time travel. And Cobra and Ingrid, they drive away on one of the dead X-Cult members motorcycles, I assume, not wearing helmets to a sort of

sub-Springsteen-ish song. Yeah. And now the story of Cobra has been immortalized in the oral tradition for future generations. Yeah. I'll pass down the tale of Cobra to my children who will pass it down to their children. I guess someday... Like why do they call him that? Papa? Is he a reptile?

And I'll say, yeah, you love animals. Sure. Yeah, he's a Cobra man. Sure. Like in that old anti-drug PSA. Oh, you remember that when the guy turns into a Cobra? Or that character from Jonah Hex, the movie? Oh, the snake man of Jonah Hex, yeah. Or like those car commercials, the like security system where the burglars reaching for the car, but he keeps seeing a snake in the window. Yeah, yeah. All snake things, but now is the part of the show.

I love the idea. We go to it, we go to do a show in a different country and we're like, remember all these ads from when we were kids? Piper specific. Where we grew up. Advertisements. Hey, remember, you guys remember those ads

for Bowcraft Amusement Park, the New York area amusement park? You guys know the ads for Menards, the Midwestern furniture. You remember when Room Plus was having there just round the corner sale? This is the part where we say our final judgements, whether this is a good bad movie,

a bad bad movie, or a movie, the kind of like, this straddles a couple of categories in that morally I find it to be a good bad movie in the sense that I enjoy laughing at how outside of my own views this movie is. Does he like to laugh at people who share different views than you, interesting. No, I.

How typical. How typical. I am both enjoying it ironically and unironically at the same time because I grew up in the 80s and this sort of trash action has a lot of pull for me. Traction. But also, I kind of like it because it has that canon pictures thing where it is working over time

to entertain you the whole time, whether or not it's doing it with good stuff or nutritious art. Nutritious art. Not really, but it's fun. I imagine an ad for the French tourism board hires you to do ads and there's one where you're taking a bite out of the Mona Lisa and you're like,

art, it's good for you. And they're like, why did we do this why do we hire to eat our paintings. I'm just acknowledging that it is is the junkiest of movie junk food. Very much so. It's fun. What do you guys think? Yeah I mean it's basically like a movie equivalent of Benjamin Mara comic and I mean I feel like I don't know I I kind of like of... It's still a movie I kind of like. It's so dumb, and it's obviously the message is terrible, but I do love the fact that the bad guys are a fucking axe cult.

Like, I feel like if this movie was made these days, but it can't be, but if it was made now, the axe cult would be like fucking vampires or something dumb, but in this case, it's just like a bunch of dudes who are playing X's together. And they make a point that anyone could be in this cult. There's one guy wearing a suit who's in the meetings. You never see him in a fight. The only case is like biker dudes that are in the fights. This movie gets every category from me.

Morally, it is a bad, bad movie. It's a bad message that this world is such a hell pit of violence that we need a man who will kill in order to keep things in line. But it's also a good, bad movie because it's super fun. But I also really like it. Every time I've watched it, I'm always like, this movie, I'm going to hate this movie. And then it gets the action scenes,

and I'm like, that car just flipped over. And I'm such a sucker for Sylvester Stallone quipping. This is, I feel like this is top tier Stallone junk, for sure. He's made good movies. This is, I mean, if you want a good Stallone movie, go see Creed. If you want a movie that is like the Stallone-iest Stallone in a junkie way, then the Cobra's pretty,

it pushes the buttons. Yeah, it checks off those boxes. Is that what you check? Yeah, I think so. You check box. To make sure there's no snakes inside them? Yeah, that's what the PSA told us in the 70s. Check a box to see if there's a snake inside.

Not so fast, little Johnny. Check that box to make sure there's not a snake inside it. There was a snake inside. Glad I checked it. Really? That's the first time that's ever happened. Well, I guess this whole PSA outlay of money was worth it. I'm Chubby Checker for box checking.

Don't forget to check your boxes for snakes. Maybe. Don't twist yourself in knots with worry. Ugh, what are we doing? You can go on some more. I bet you guys want more gas than the tank on that one. I'm Fats Domino. Before you put those boots on, there might be a scorpion inside. Check your boots for scorpions. Soundheap with John Luke Roberts is a real podcast made up of fake podcasts.

Like if you had a cupboard in your lower back, what would you keep in it? So I'm going to say mugs. A little yoghurt and a spoon. A small handkerchief that was given to me by my grandmother on her deathbed. Maybe some spare honey? Gotta keep batches in it. I'd pretend to be a toy. If I had a cupboard in my lower back, I'd probably fill it with spines.

If you had a cupboard in your lower back, what would you keep in it? Doesn't exist. We made it up for Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts, an award-winning comedy podcast from Maximum Fun, made up of hundreds of stupid podcasts. Listen and subscribe to Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts, now. Sound Heap with John Luke Roberts, now. Oh darling, why won't you accept my love? My dear, even though you are a duke, I could never love you. You, you borrowed a book from me and never returned it.

Ah! Save yourself from this terrible fate by listening to Reading Glasses. We'll help you get those borrowed books back and solve all your other reader problems. Reading Glasses every Thursday on Maximum Fun. Hey there, this week is a live show and that means that you are lucky, question mark, enough to have me alone, Dan McCoy, doing your ad reads for you. Stuart, Ellie, get out of here.

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I forgot that we were supposed to vamp a little to give time for this. Okay, I'll vamp a little. Bleh, ah, ah, ah. Bleh. He does this every time. Yeah. Okay, so we have a microphone. We have some time for some audience questions. Yes, let's...

We've dawdled a while. Let's try and keep it tight. Let's do this. Okay, we only have time for 73 questions. But from each of you, if you do not have 73 questions, do not get out of your seat. Just kidding, don't do that. Sorry. Everybody don't panic.

I'm untucking my shirt. Good news, fellas. That's the farthest we'll let him go. Check one. Oh, yeah, he's wearing a underwear. All right. Good news, fellas. Flop House TV show on Netflix, Greenlit.

Pilots coming up. Thank you. This is amazing. Righto room full. But you do get to be music consultant. What's gonna be the needle drop when you are introduced on the show? Yeah, I mean, this is pretty easy. Obviously, it's the this is pretty easy.

Obviously, it's the sexiest song ever, Drop Dead Legs by Van Halen. You know, it's a little bit funky. He says giant butt in it. I love it. Did you expect me to go longer on my things? Yeah, I thought you were going to have more. My children are well aware, because I've talked to them about this.

If I was ever a Major league baseball player my walkout Or a wrestler for that matter. I'm still working on it that my walkout music originally what position when you play on a baseball team Do you know the positions? I'd probably be the full front Yeah, yeah, but my walk if I was a pitcher or something like that my walk out music Originally was gonna be this town ain't big enough for the both of us by sparks Because it's a fantastic song. It's a great walk-out song, but I don't know I've been listening so much atarashi gakko lately and Thanks, gotta be there Tokyo calling your Geary Geary now. I don't know I'm gonna have to do some some Japanese girl pop to come out Yeah, and I would like to come out to the Monster Mesh

Yeah Never as a song been associated with somebody more. Every time we do karaoke within, I don't know, 11 months of Halloween, Daniel, inevitably I'll hear the opening strains of Monster Mash and I'm like, what the fuck? It's better to sing it far away from Halloween. That way you have the element of surprise. That was the song where at my wedding, that was the song that my coworkers requested the DJ play.

And they pointed me and they were like, eh? And my new wife was like, I can't believe we're dancing to the Monster Mash. I was like, just like I always visualized it when I was a little boy. Yes. All right, this is a quick two-parter.

It's for Elliot. Yeah, thank you. So it's not gonna be that quick. Okay, it'll be... Well, you'll see. Elliot, I noticed you haven't drank any of your water. Are you gonna drink that? Do you want it?

The second part is, can I have it if you're not gonna have it? It was a two-part question. All right, I guess so. Unless the venue doesn't want me to give away, I mean here, they'll make it and they haven't. Yeah. This is a clever beverage workaround, but it only works once.

But yeah, but also now you have to give a bottle of water someday to someone in need. Yes. Hi, my question is, did you notice that Gonzalez was Poppy from Seinfeld? And what do you have to say about it? Oh my God. Well, you know that all that junk food really got to him because he could not control his bowels eventually.

You're right. That was Poppy. We were so busy. We were so busy being excited about David Rash being in the film that we didn't even notice. Well, we spent so long being able to dance like, I think the main bad guys, this guy. No, wait, I think it's a sonar guy. I'm like, you can look on IMDb and he's like,

shut up, why do you gotta make me look stupid for all these people? This reminds me, when I was working on the television show Mystery Science Dude 3000, we had, thank you, great show. We had, it's still available online. There's a movie we did called Killer Fish, where there's kind of like loud obnoxious character in it. And then I was watching Seinfeld, and that actor shows up much older

in one scene in episode of Seinfeld. And I took a picture of the screen, I texted it to my coworkers on it. I'm like, he's from Killer Fish, he's in Seinfeld! And I received no response. I would respond, which guy is it? In Seinfeld or in Killer Fish? In Seinfeld. He was somebody's angry neighbor. I don't remember. I would respond. Which guy is it? In Seinfeld or in Killer Fish? In Seinfeld.

He was somebody's angry neighbor. I don't remember what he actually did. And he's only in one scene. But I was like, that's him. He's aged terribly. You know. But that was Poppy from Seinfeld. You're right.

That's amazing. It is. Thank you. Thank you for that. That's great. Thank you. All this time we thought we were teaching them, they're teaching us.

Yeah. They grew up so fast. That's great. Thank you. All this time we thought we were teaching them, they're teaching us. Yeah. They grew up so fast. Yeah. Hey guys, I'm always struck when a movie's most famous scene is a real tonal shift from what the actual movie is. So for instance, when I finally watched Risky Business, I was surprised at how kind of grim and sinister it is compared to the scene.

Yeah, it's not a musical. No, no, it's not just Tom Cruise's slide around in his jockeys or whatever it is. Have there been ever any movies where you've been like, you feel like you've been sold a false bill of goods on the basis of what the movie's most famous scene or what it's sort of been presented to you as and you go into it and you get something very, very different from what you were expecting? Well, we did just record an episode about kangaroo jack. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, that's an obvious movie that famously retooled its entire deal, well at least marketing-wise, to focus on the one scene of the rapping kangaroo shooting. Fool people into thinking, this is a jaunty, romp about a kangaroo that raps. Well the first half of Audition made me think it was something. I mean, really recently I watched American Fiction and all the trailers really pitch it as like a Hollywood Shuffle type comedy and I feel like there's a lot more going on there so it is a lot of different movies and I think to some degree of success. So that kind of... Yeah, I don't know that I have a good one because I...

As much as I... My girls seem to be like, man, there's gonna be nothing but happy Macaulay Culkin. Uh-oh! They sold that movie as a comedy. Like, you watch it, they're like, the wackiest, wettest comedy. That is true.

It's gonna be hilarious. But yeah, there's... I have a trouble thinking of one where it's like, there's a famous scene and you watch the movie. Oh, you know what? Like, five easy pieces I grew up my dad was always quoting the the toast scene or whatever it is You know then this put the chicken between these or whatever and I was like he's like it's a great scene

And I'm like oh, it's must be really funny movie and then I watched him like no This is it's not really a movie about a guy who wants food cooked the right way Like it's a an unpleasant man. Yeah, very unpleasant. But he plays piano beautifully. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Cool, like Claudia's shirt. I thought it was your shirt. Yeah. Great show. Did a podcast about it.

It's called iPoddias. I did. It's a really good podcast. Check it out. Maximum fun. Thank you. I'mum fun. Thank you. Great question. Thank you.

I'm wondering if you were ever in a situation where you impaled somebody on a hook and then pushed them into a furnace. Do you think I'm going to tell you that when the cops have been after me for years? Sorry, this is... If you were in that situation... Oh, right, right. Yes. If you were in that situation... Oh, right, right, yes. Would you want to have a Snappy One-Liner to say about it after prepared, and if so, what would that Snappy One-Liner be?

I feel like if I was in that situation, I would be like Rachel McAdams in Game Night when I don't automatically be like, oh my God, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the camera had cut to me, I go, uggghhh. I imagine, yeah, you would want one prepared, because that's a scenario that's likely to happen.

And, like, I'd probably be like, I'd be like, give this guy the hook, but that's not great. But then the other thing that comes to mind is, the hook does bring you back. That's a reference to the blues travelers, less big hit. So I'm like, all all right I'll think of something yeah I'm all hook up. You don't want to keep doing that or else you're gonna get hooked. Oh that's good that's good yeah

yeah and or uh let's see uh something about fishing uh Uh... You know, uh... Stick a hook in him, he's done. No, look at him. It looks like you're a deader shade of pale. It's been paled on a hook, you know. Just... I guess Peter Pan must be your mortal enemy because it's called you Captain Hook.

Hope you got a PhD because now you're a doctor hook. Yeah, doctor. I hope that answers your question. Thank you. The answer is we've got to work on it. We've got to do this. I've got to assume. You're on a cover of Rolling Stone because you're a doctor.

I don't imagine someone drives around just thinking of good quips and being like, I gotta write that down and pulls over and if a guy shoots another guy through the knee, then he can say, knees to meet you. Okay, well, I'm running late, so I better get back on the road. Or he's got like a, like a dictation app. He's like, note to self. If I'm ever in a movie and I throw a guy into quicksand. Okay, yeah. So ever since I watched, I think it was children of men, I've been kind of obsessed with movies

that use one long takes or... Sure, yeah. Like Russian arc? Yeah, exactly. It's a movie in one take. It's amazing. So much so... You start a fight about it? Yeah, exactly. It's a movie in one take. It's amazing. You're gonna start a fight about it? Yeah, I am.

Yeah, so much so that my fiancé now makes fun of me for it when we're watching movies together. Is your fiancé Mike D'Angelo famous long take hater? Oh yeah, of course. I wish. I was just wondering if you had a favorite example of a long take or a one in a movie? I mean, the opening of Touch of Evil is a classic. I don't have much to say about it, but you know, I mean, both versions are pretty good. You either get some great sound design

or you get a Henry Mancini score. All flavors are good. Can't go wrong with any cut of Touch of Evil. Rave's saying McCoy in local podcast show. I mean this is not a controversial take, but the hallway fight scene in Old Boy is a favorite one-taker of mine. Because it's like, not just because it's like, oh it's cool, it's all a take, but it's like, they have to catch their breath, they keep falling down and getting up again, and I was like, yeah, I guess if I was in a fight, even if I was doing well, I'm not knocking out these guys with punches.

They have to keep getting up and doing it again. And you can tell they're real tired of it. I feel like it's not just one take, but it's a thing where it's like, oh, if this wasn't in one take, it wouldn't be quite the same. The same as, finally last year, watched Jean Dillman, which is a lot of single take scenes of a woman making meals.

And I'm like, you know what? God damn it, there's no other way to make this movie. I gotta watch her make cutlets from beginning to end. It's making meals. The end of big night is a good one where you just see him make an omelet for his brother the night after and they just play it out.

That's great. Yeah, I like there's a couple shots in It Follows, where the camera just lingers on the crowd scene, and you're like, man, one of those has got to be that It Follows, which one's walking weird? The title told me it was going to follow. That it better follow something.

There's also a one less, is the opening of Day for Night, the Truffaut movie, where it is a long single take and then you realize you are watching a movie being shot that is doing a long single take. And I love that they're like, you're like, oh, I wonder which of these characters this movie is gonna be about. Oh, none of them.

That's. Wow. Thank you. Good one. Single takes, everybody. Why not do it? Hey, I don't know much about Marvel, but I know that the Winter Soldier was a good guy, turned bad guy, turned back to good guy.

So ignoring the first part of it, what supervillain or movie monster would you want to turn over to the good side and fight for the good guys? That's tough. Somebody with some really good powers. Usually that's what makes the characters not so good no more, but I'm a huge Venom fan, not the movies necessarily, but the original character. And he's gone from being a psychopath who thinks he's a hero to the, in the comics, he's now the emperor of a time and space

spanning alien race. And I'm like, I kind of miss when he was just a guy who ate people's brains. But what do you mean, like what kind of like, like Detective Dracula maybe or something like that? Or. I mean this is what happens to any long running horror franchise, right?

It's just like, okay, well now they're kind of de facto the hero. Even if they're like killing people, you don't care about any of those people, you go to see the monster. That's true, like Freddy becomes the hero in a way. Or, I mean, Freddy Mercury. I'm gonna say Lydia Tar.

I want Lydia Tar to be a good guy. Oh, she's got a lot to look at. Okay. And what's the second movie where Lydia Tar becomes a hero in some way? Two-Tar? Two-Tar, yeah. But I think, yeah, if it's got to be a monster, I think probably Dracula, but if it doesn't

have to be like a traditional monster, then... The Zodiac Killer. I use the hero... Finally, use those powers for good. Then... The Zodiac Killer. He's a hero. He was dexter-ing the whole time. You didn't know it. You didn't know that's the twist. And he's great at making puzzles. If I was there, I'm like, Zodiac Killer, come to my office, please. You've got two strengths.

Murdering people and puzzles. I want you to steer into the puzzle side of your talents. Thank you. Thanks. Look, Zodiac Killer, Will Shortz, the crossword puzzle editor at The New York Times who's retiring. I think you can get that job, but you've got to stop killing people.

I don't know if I want to leave the Bay Area. You'll do it remotely, it's fine, you can do that now. I don't think we're in any danger, but I'm just going to say don't join the line, we'll cut up anyway. It'd be amazing if I stabbed you, right? I don't think we're in any danger and then I Don't that I'm not willing to go that far for a bit

You all okay. All right First off Stuart. Thank you for saying that thing about it's a spark factory gets up and saying the exact same thing since I saw the movie Yeah, you got to make them somewhere. Yeah The question I've had since watching Cobra, does Saloon just want to be a cop? Is that basically, or is that just every 80s movie guy, or action guy? Yeah, I mean, I think there's a certain amount of like wanting to be a first responder. Like I feel like there's a, I don't know, I feel like there's an urge to be lumped in with the heroes. I mean, certainly to be a hero.

Perceived heroes. To be in a position where force is authorized. And I think for heroes in movies at least, it's like, well, if we put this guy in a uniform, then he can just go ahead and kill people. But if he's not wearing a uniform, then he's a maniac. Or a maniac cop. Or that you can't be a cop, still be a maniac cop. That's true.

I don't know that it's specific to Stallone. I think that... I think he'd rather be a boxer than a cop. But I think he'd rather be a cop than a race car driver, like in that one movie. I think he'd rather be a race car driver than like a... Then like a mob boss with a daughter that's going to get... Thank you, yes. But what if... did he want to be a cliffhanger?

Yeah, he'd rather be a mob boss with a daughter than a guy who... than a cliffhanger, like a mountain climbing guy. Anyway, my serious response was that I think that just human beings have power fantasies and some people deal with them better than others and realize which ones are poisonous. Thank you. Thank you. First of all, Dan, I just have to say I was stunned by your revelation that the director of Cobra's son went on to make Mandy?

Yeah, and also the director of Cobra, like, I mean, Stu said that rumor is that Kurt Russell directed a lot of Tombstone, but I had no idea that it was the same guy. Like, there's such different feeling movies. Yeah, I was just thinking about Mandy throughout watching this because they're both red-lit films about a woman who was marked for death by a cult leader she saw on her way to work. That's cool. Right, Mandy is a stealth remake of Cobra, that's right. Oh, man. I mean, Mandy does feel like you're taking...

Why Nicholas Cage cuts that pizza with the Bear Scissors? It totally feels like you're taking one of these trash-80s movies and you're just like, let's just push it further and further into like absurd hell world. Yes, and Mandy, it corrects the one big error, one big error, sorry, with Cobra. The big error of Cobra was the 1980s. You're confusing the pun in our tour, isn't it? That's true. Oh, because it has the cheddar goblin, right? The whole time you're watching Cobra, you're like, where's the goblin that pours cheese on kids?

Mandy has that amazing chainsaw-chainsaw fight. And the one thing that Cobra is missing is they're holding axes. The whole movie, there is never an axe fight in the entire thing. Stallone never picks up an axe, and it's just, they're leaving money on the table. Yeah, there should have at least been a moment where they're like, go on, pick up the axe, and he's like, never. There's no way to do things. You're one of us.

Pick up the axe. Or he picks up the axe and he's like even way better at clanging it and shit. Oh, give me the best. What? Give me the best. Oh, the chosen one. Yeah, they feel before him. My question though.

I, Cobra is unfortunately not streamable in Canada. I just settled for renting it on YouTube But I did spend multiple weekends of the last month searching for it on DVD in thrift stores Which I was not able to find but it did make the act of thrifting way more fun to have something to be after Yeah, so my question to you gentlemen is is there a white whale movie that you yourselves are looking to add to your physical media collections? Oh, I thought you were going to ask me what I look for in thrift stores. The answer is always sweaters with carrots on them. That is a true answer.

Often don't sell them in my size, unfortunately. Usually they're small people close. I mean, I don't, I mean, honestly, not really at this point, because it's much more, if I want to see something and it's not available, that is the one time where I'm like, as someone who makes their money sometimes off of people paying for art, that if it's not being made available, that is the one time I will be like,

yeah, I'll just find it somehow. I'll do whatever. But don't hold it to Dan. Dan, to possess it. Yeah. I've got to get, I've gotten past that, I think. I hope I've got too much stuff. I mean, I would love to get a good quality copy of a lot of like John Woo's movies, which

are just not available. I used to have a bunch of those on VHS tapes, and I, you know, when I did my... We did a... When I... Before I moved to Los Angeles, we did an Alamo show where I then gave away and signed all my VHS tapes, and I wish I had kept a lot of those. I'm... It's not movies that I want, but I am a collect...

I... A couple years ago, got into the hobby of collecting really beat up bad condition 60s Marvel comics, like ones where they're all ripped up and people wrote their names on it. I missed an issue of Amazing Spider-Man that someone took a bite out of, and I'm really mad that I missed that auction. But when I tried to collect a run of really beat up all of Steve Ditko's issues of Amazing Spider-Man,

and I've got really crappy copies of all but the first five, and I'm still looking for those. It was an issue, an issue two that someone took a bite out of, and I'm like, surely this won't go for a lot of money. And it surprisingly did. Maybe whoever was trying to solve a crime, and there's bigotry still DNA on the. Whoever owned this loved it so much that they wanted to be.

We can finally have an example of the culprit's tooth marks here. We can match them up to the wound. But that's more what I'm into right now, is kind of old beat up, ripped up Marvel comics. So maybe someday. Thank you. Thank you So this movie has a lot of our cobra has a lot of unmentioned Christmas decorations

Yeah, which I read was because all of their shooting locations just had them up them up so it's no lead into it. I love that. So I'd like to advance the front in the Die Hard theater of the war on Christmas and ask, is this a Christmas movie? It's as much a Christmas movie as any other action film set at Christmas. If you and your heart believe it to be one, then the magic of Christmas has made it so.

And I feel like. I will say Die Hard is slightly more Christmas because he does say ho ho ho at one point. Whereas this movie, Cobra doesn't have time for Christmas. Cobra doesn't have a family. The only God he believes in is his own two fists and the guns that they're holding. But it is very funny to watch it. We kind of had a similar reaction where we're like, is it Christmas? Do they even know is it Christmas?

Do they even know it's Christmas? But yeah, so I guess it's a Christmas movie, right? Yeah, obviously. Yeah, we did it. No question. We did it, everyone. Let's add it. Add it to the list. Let's add it to the holiday rotation now. Yeah, now it's got to play every year at the same time. Hello. My name's Max. Last name was held. I don't know if we're still doing that. Great to have you here. Last minute you talked about the theater experience. And I think the Rio counts as one of those old-timey theaters.

Yeah. 20 years ago I lived in the apartments right next door and this used to be a Bollywood theater and I never came in. So I'm wondering what what sort of large, gaping genre gaps do you have in your cinematic viewing experience here? Well Dan, certainly not pornography for you. Not pornography.

We know, I think you're covered on that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're impressed. He's gone up he. Yeah. I am, as God made me. I mean, Bollywood is a huge gaping hole. I mean, a lot of words in cinema I have not seen. It's hard to get a hold of sometimes.

I mean, it's getting easier. Well, I think it's hard to know where to start, often. Yes. And that, like, African cinema is similar for me. Like, every time I see a movie from an African nation, I'm like, yeah, I'm starting to see these. And I'm like, well, it's a whole continent. It's all different countries with different cinema

heritages. But that's the thing. One of the things that I kind of like and find frustrating about film is that the more you learn about it, the more you realize you don't learn about it. It's like paleontology that way, where the more you learn about dinosaurs, the more you learn you will never

know most of the things about dinosaurs. And so, except that. Yeah, because you can't get in a time machine and go back and look at a dinosaur and then accidentally step on a butterfly I mean you shouldn't that'd be bad I mean that's pretty much what happened and that's why 2016 happened the way it did I think but the but I think that that's one of the fun things about film but it's also frustrating that there's so there's always so much out there but for me it's very much African film I mean a big

obvious one for me was a few years ago, I realized that when I was growing up, I just avoided romantic comedies because I was like, I want to watch horror movies. So I've been watching a lot of romantic comedies and there's some really good ones. Like I'd never seen dirty dancing for a long time that I've mentioned earlier and I love it. It's the best. It's great. And yeah, so you should check out things you haven't seen.

Yeah, I don't know, my biggest real gaps are, as you say, it's not so much genres as like a lack of knowledge of a lot of world cinema, which is just something that happens, unfortunately, I think, and you really have to work against it if you want to change it. How many times have you seen Cobra, no? Shut up.

There are a couple genres that I used to think of, I really have to work against if you want to change it. How many times have you seen Cobra? No? Shut up. But there are a couple genres that I used to think I didn't like, like the Western, which I realize I do like, but I still have huge gaps in. And then there's stuff that there are outliers where I'm like, oh, that's a great movie. But I don't really like war movies, so I don't seek them out.

But that's the best I got. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Final question. And finally. A lot of pressure. That was a much more appropriate ending question.

I was talking, so I remembered, so Bridget Nielsen was married to Sylvester Stallone during this movie, but she had an important era in the early 2000s on a show called This Real Life. Yeah, sure. She brought her dogs with her. She fell in love with Flavor Flav. Mm-hmm. Before is...

Flavor Flav and social in a very similar. She's got a type. Well, this is my question. So before is Flavor Love Series, but I just wonder if you had any key plot points that would need to change if Flavor Flav was Cobra. We have a lot more... Time-conscious cop. Yeah. Some sort of time cop, if you will. Well, I feel like he's also expressed his beliefs against the police many times. Yeah, that's true. He'd be less of a police officer. And if he was, I imagine his role being similar where he's like a hype man behind another guy.

But his quips would be amazing. Amazing. They'd still be great. Amazing. Look, look at the idea now. Crimes the disease. And maybe rhymes the disease. How could you ask for a better ending?

Thank you so much for being here. I don't want to take up any more of your time. We don't want to take up any more of your time. We thank you for allowing us to be here. Thank you so much for coming. For the Flopos, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kalen.

Thank you for being here. Thank you to the Rio Theater. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you. Thank you to the Rio Theater. Thank you. Thank you Vancouver. If you think of any questions on the way home, forget them. They will not be answered.

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