The Flop House - Ep.#220 - The Trust

Episode Date: December 24, 2016

Cagemas comes but once a year. Will Saint Nicholas Cage bring us something glorious or another lump of coal for our cinematic stockings? We discuss The Trust. Meanwhile, Stuart reveals his testicle-based library habits, Elliott explores Paul Verhoven's love for California Dreams, and Dan solos on the hot sax. Wikipedia synopsis for The Trust Movies recommended in this episode: Hell or High Water Elle Outcast of the Islands If you would like to contribute to the Flop House Facebook charity drive for Planned Parenthood, GO HERE.

Oh ho ho! Merry cage miss! What is Nicholas Cage brought us this year? Why it's the trust? And a happy cage-a-ca! Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Emily Kaelin, I have a strong house. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stewart Wellington. I'm LA Kaelin. I have a strong Stewart. Why are we still doing this? The whole thing? Yeah. Yeah. For the flop house. Yeah. Why are we doing well, I guess live in the flop house. Stewart, you should be triumphant. After all, I said, happy cageica and you immediately afterwards

when we were done with the intro corrected me by saying, shouldn't have been Hanna Cage. So you were right. I was wrong. So you should be exultant. But Dan's probably gonna leave that on the old cutting room floor. No, no, no, no, it's all.

That's where he goes in and cuts the computer in here. So he cuts a hole in the floor to get to the safe underneath it. Spoiler alert for the movie. This imagines that I cut anything from any episode ever or that I've listened to the podcast before. So Stu, what's got you down? Yeah, come on.

This has been a wonderful time of year. Yeah, it's, I mean, it's winter out. Leaves are fallen, children calling. Yeah, what else? Rose ballin. One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, better lock the door. Well, yeah, I get, I mean, okay.

Five, six, get a crucifix. Well, yeah, I get I mean, okay, five six get a crucifix Better stay up late 910 a big fat hand Story checks out your math ends up. Hold on. Let me check Christmas calculator Yep, good holiday cheer So Dan it's what what is this show and what do we do on it? This show is called the flop house. It's a five pass. If you thought you were listening to 99% visible or radio lab or something that has actual

factual content. You have some weird aphasia. You have chosen the wrong one because you're about to enter a world of nonsense. Yep, and a little pain. Here's some stuff you should know. Well, wait, actually, you should know that you're listening to a bad podcast. About done stuff.

Not a bad podcast, a pointless podcast. And Dan, what do we do on this pointless stupid podcast? We watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Or we watch a movie, let's say, and then we talk about it. All right, interesting, with split hairs. And Dan, now it is, watch a movie, let's say, and then we talk about it. All right, interesting, with split hairs. And Dan, now it is, as you mentioned, the happiest time of the year.

Why is that? What time of the year is it? Is it the summer solstice? Is it flag day? Is it secretary's day? I assume that these are rhetorical questions, because if they aren't, you're an idiot. Dan, I've come on stuck in time.

Is this a minute ago? I was a minute ago, I was 60 years old, and I was in a space cage. And then two minutes ago, I was a toddler. So what time is it? What year is it? Where am I? Elliot, is that you sitting over in that chair

as an old man while a childlike version of you is fitfully sleeping, worried the sand man's going to show up? Wait, is that the same guy, right? Where in Mashemult? Yeah, I'm not quite sure what's. I love that music video. In the Sandman where they manage to, they manage to time the truck's smashing into that bed

when James Hetfield gives. You know that they have editing, right? That's how they did that's not. They didn't perfect the guy was driving it it. He's like, okay, okay. Only a one day. We only have one shot of this. So James do not screw up the timing and truck driver. What's your name? Just do it right. Yep. Metallica showed up at the bed store and they're like, we got to buy a bed. Oh, that's not a very good store. The bed store is like, fuck you guys. I'm selling you one bed.

No more shenanigans here guys. Okay, we got either ride the lightning or a race car bed. Mm hmm. So we want a fade to sleep. So show us your best bed. That's why they're sleeping with one eye open to make sure that that time and gets right. Yeah, I've mentioned before on the on the show that I say that to my son when he's going to bed, right?

What? I go I tell him I say, uh, Sammy sleep with one eye open clutching your pillow tight. Enter night exit light and and my wife says stop stop-saving to it. I, if I ever told you that when I was in, when I was in high school, I took this class where you, it was like a film and video class and our final project,

in addition to watching a bunch of great movies like Ferris Bueller, we got to do a final project where we got to make a music video based on, like, we picked some random songs. Basically, from Ferris Bueller. So you take some song, you got to make a music video based on like based on a random song. So we you take some song you got to make a music video. I swear I've told the story of the podcast before but I don't care you will hear it again. And the best and they, you know, after we were working on our projects a little bit, the teachers showed us some of the best examples of videos from the years before us. Of course, these were all from like the late 80s. So there was a ton of awesome hair metal videos,

like Skid Row's I'll Remember You, with a couple hanging out by a lake. But this is, I will remember you. Like, oh, that's a little bit like it. Do, do, do, do. And, but there was one music video where these dudes made a video called for Metallica's Seeking Destroy.

Oh, I love that. And they got one like super buff dude to be like a cop and the idea is that he's like, kids were being real assholes and this cop like decided to like take the law into his own hands. So he had a scene of him like taking his badge off and ripping his cop uniform off. And then he like- Wait, is, he sure wasn't a stripper. Yeah, I mean, he's a high school kid. He might also be a stripper like in summer school. And then there's the video ends with him tracking the kids down,

the punks down on the top of a park and garage and picking a kid up and throwing him off the top of the park and garage. And they use this like really hilarious dummy for it but the effects were so good. It's still my favorite movie I've ever seen. Long story short. Reminds me of a complaint that an old coworker of mine had where he would be he would volunteer to be a judge for his alma mater's student film program and he was and I remember walking

on him watching some of these and he was like, ah, it like, why when will these students stop making movies about mobsters? I can't take serious a movie where someone goes to borrow money from a 19 year old gangster. Because they were just college students playing all the parts. So you'd have like, he'd be the top kingpin of the city, but he's clearly like a sophomore. Like this new anecdote based direction, this podcast is headed. Yeah, because what do we normally watch bad movies than we talk about watch bad movies and we talk about that was what we're talking about movies that we we really like like the certain the city can destroy. Which I hope somebody put this on YouTube. I would only assume the notorious litigious Metallica would of course

and tell it was pretty cool about their fan base just doing whatever. But if my teacher whose name I don't remember can put that video up on YouTube, I will watch it. It's amazing how. I'll give you some clicks, buddy. It's amazing how I remember the great Napster Metallica hunt when my brother had his Napster account shut down because he was one of the millions of people who downloaded Metallica songs.

And now all that stuff is available on YouTube and like multiple many videos. And it's like at a certain point, everyone just threw up their hands and were like, whatever, I don't know. But also like I have purchased so many Metallica albums now because I first listened to them in full on YouTube and I was getting that into metal.

Yeah, we kid it. Information wants to be free. No, but then I buy them afterwards. They're making mule off of it. That's how they can afford all the, how to have that out. Yeah, we get it. You have money to buy all the.

It's how, it's how. I got Uncle Pennybags over here. It's how Kirk can afford all those custom mummy poster guitars. Is that the uncle of the guy from Monopoly? The Monopoly board? Yeah, Uncle Pennybags. Yeah, wait, that's the guy or that's the uncle of the guy? No, that's the guy, that's the Monopoly board. Yeah, Uncle Pennybags. Yeah, wait, that's the guy or that's the uncle of the guy. No, that's the guy, that's the Monopoly man.

I don't know whether that means if you're playing Monopoly, he's your uncle. I think so. I think that's the implication. Okay. You're the nephew of Rich Uncle Pennybags. Now, and he's pitted all of his progeny against each other and his game to the death.

Oh yeah, well, he's like arcade from the X-Men. It's just a game he plays until the last one's alive. Do they win anything? Like a tauntine? Yeah, tauntine. They just ride it around on a hawth. And then you slid it open and sleep in it, and you thought it smelled bad on the outside.

Dan, you said this was the happiest time of the year. Why is that? Oh, that's right. Because it's the time that St. Nicholas Cage comes down from, I don't know, from Valhalla. He floats in from New Orleans and he bestows upon us the gift of his presence, beneficent performances.

Yeah, you got there. Yeah. So let's make one thing. So every year we celebrate Cajemis, well really twice a year because there's Cajemis in July. Let's make one thing clear. And I feel like we've talked about this a lot on the podcast, but we should always reiterate it. This is not an ironic appreciation of Nicholas Cajem. Yeah, we're not making one of those shirts that has a bunch of faces of Nicholas Cajem on it. You can wear to your fucking wing and this bird bar, you are a shit. I think I have one of those.

I think I have one of those. With your, with your hanksy graffiti, with your celebrity puns, you have a piece of garbage. You know what? Bring a garbage bag to throw this piece of shit in a dump in in the ocean. Yeah, why don't you climb on top of your giant wheeled philosophy and ride off into a toxic waste spill

so you don't have a toxic waste spill. And he's like, no toxic. Hey, no deposit life. Yeah, that's what I was trying to remember what it was. Bring a, bring a, bring a stretcher for this good man. Bring them garbage bags for these pieces of shit. No deposit, what a great terrible movie. Look, we are not waxing our handle bar moustache and playing with our suspender braces

while we drink our old 19th century cocktails or nothing about Nicholas Cage. We're not gonna drink one of those Adrian Grineer beers that you need a church key to get inside. Yeah, well one thing, use that to get into a church and save your soul, dude, because it's time for you to pray

for forgiveness from Lord Cage. Because Nicholas Cage, as we all agree, I think in this room, is a genuinely great actor. Yeah. Like, one of the greatest actors, and he's been unfairly maligned by the Aeronisizers, as that made it sound like I was talking about the nation of Iran, as to my ironic, my runny.

No, that's good. You were just prejudicing against the Middle Eastern people. Uh, Dan, well, that's kind of racist say Middle Eastern people when Iranians are Persian, many of the other countries are Arab and there are other ethnicities too. To lump them all together as Middle Eastern people is astoundingly ignorant. He's got to there, dude.

Hoisted by your own patar. You're right. And they look at Jean-Luc Patar over here. And the tradition of Jesse Thorn and Jordan Jesse Goe, I asked that you tweet all of your complaints to at Ted Cruz. Well, in the tradition of Jesse Pinkman, uh, ear meth dealer now. Anyway, so.

Dan, let's, so we'll make it clear. Nicholas Cage, we love him. We actually like watching him. And today, as we always do, we watch an Nicholas Cage movie, right? Cooping against hope that he would bring us a performance with that rare combination of... That Elon, that he can bring. Manic energy, but realistic emotion and outsized style

that is the hallmark of the great Nicholas Cage performance. Yeah, we all remember the first time our hearts were Stup... Olin. Nice. Good stuff. Nice. When we couldn't wait to see the next Nicholas Cage movie. When we left Las Vegas because we were moon struck.

Not good. By how we were honeymooned in Vegas. He's got that Bangkok dangerous edge to him. Kind of. I mean, we're now we're in the sorcerers apprentice with a side of Zerley. What was that movie called? Andally with Judge Ryanhold. That was the name of the movie is Andally with Judge Ryanhold. Yeah, that's right. So Nicklaus Cage has made a number of movies set in Las Vegas now. Yeah. This one that we watch today is set in Las Vegas.

There's Leaving Las Vegas. There's Honeymoon and Vegas. There's Conair, which is around Las Vegas. Yep. What are the Vegas movies are there? I don't know, but it's not stolen. It's probably Vegas and New Orleans or his haunts. I'm guessing he is in the

the the the background of some scenes of episodes of NBC's Las Vegas featuring entitled character named Danny McCoy coincidants a title character so his name is Las Vegas in the show Danny Las Vegas McCoy I mean I said it pretty clearly and I think he was probably in six-string samurai where they go to lost Vegas. Mm-hmm. But this movie what do we what do we watch today I mean, I said it pretty clearly. And I think it was probably in Sixth Dream Samurai where they go to Lost Vegas. But this movie, what are we watch today? I watch some of you called The Trust. The title is so generic, I keep forgetting.

And it has nothing to do with the movie. No. Is it about like managing a trust? Yes. So about Nicholas Cage. This is a rich boy. He's living off. If I were a rich boy. Deedle, leedle, leedle, leedle, leedle, leedle.

That was the goiest way that song could be sang by both of you. Yeah, he plays a little, a little rich boy who is not going to get any money until he turns 25 and he just can't wait. Nicholas Cage is playing a younger than 25 year old in this. gonna get any money until he turns 25 and he just can't wait. Nicholas Cage is playing a younger than 25 year old in this. It's a real mark short in Clifford type performance. So Oscar worthy. Oh, I remember seeing Clifford in the theater where I snuck leader bottles of jolt in my joint cova in the cargo pockets of my shorts.

For some reason, I thought you were going to say where I snuck my fingers inside the vagina. Oh my god. Damn. Damn. Oh, man. Wait, I was like 14. Well, yeah. I was 14.

Damn. All right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You should be sorry. I want you to apologize to everybody. I apologize to everyone. Those with vaginas, those without vaginas. You're digging a deeper hole.

Just apologize in general and move on. I can. Now it's in my head. What? Just vaginas? Yeah, just in general. Okay. We got to move on.

We got to get this train back on the track. This is a movie that does open with nudity, which is rare for a fly-past movie. Yeah, well, I mean, if you're watching Nine Lives, which is a family film about a cat, it's not gonna have nudity. The cat always naked the whole time. Okay, good time.

The cat is totally nude the whole time. Yeah, and I guess a lot of movies we watch are either family films or like studio. A lot of PG-13s. Yeah. You don't watch a lot of hard-r's, and we certainly don't. A lot of PG-13s. Yeah. We don't watch a lot of hard R's, and we certainly don't watch a lot of X-rated movies. But Dan, I've put the note in the complaint box and the suggestion box for the vlog series.

The movie, the X-rated movie. Maybe we just watch more X-rated movies. You know, that's where the real stories are being told. There was the time that we did consider seriously for a moment watching the beginning great bikini off-road adventure. Percent of mental value. Percent of mental value, but then you thought no, it probably wouldn't make for a great podcast.

No, we're not really going into that assuming maybe this could be a good movie. Yeah. A movie I've recommended a couple times on this podcast. Good point. So the trust, we are in Las Vegas. Nicholas Cage and Elijah Wood both work for the evidence, collection and protection arm of the Las Vegas PD or LVPD, which what is that in Roman numerals?

What does that mean? Is that like 55 PD? Yeah, that's right. So. Now, I imagine being in Las Vegas, those guys probably have some really wacky stories to tell. Oh, sure. Well, everyone in Las Vegas has a crazy story to tell. Like I'm surprised that the evidence collection room isn't filled with like

tigers and showgirls and Gina Gershon. And it's Helms with a tattoo on his face. And the evidence collection room. So you got their tattoo when they're in Hong Kong or something? He gets tattoos all over Hong Kong fooey. We're talking about Las Vegas in the trust. Now they are not happy with their jobs. Elijah Wood just drifts through life in a haze of drugs and one sex scene. He doesn't really seem to be that into it. Nicholas Cage on the other hand is supporting both himself and his elderly father, Jerry Lewis in a very surprising role in that you don't really need Jerry Lewis to play the role. There's nothing about it that's that gives Jerry Lewis the time to shine.

It's not even, yeah, it's not a meaty role. And I, but I was surprised to learn that Jerry Lewis in the movie is a 90 year old man. He seems a pretty spry for 90. Kind of. I mean, he seems adult and confused the whole movie. Like, if, yeah, I mean, he showed up and opened his eyes and set his lines. Do you think he was hoping for like a new, like a new spring time of his career? Like, this is my experience. This is, you know, this career. Like this is my experience. Yeah, this is my this is my baskets. This is my Bill Murray and Rushmore.

Finally, I just got to be in an indie film and then suddenly, I'll, Joey Lewis will be back on top. And then I can do that Cinderfella reboot that I've been so excited about. Yeah. It's a, it's a gritty Cinderfella where he works with the internet. Wait, is that where there's a guy who's Cinderella? I think you can deduce that from the title of the film. That's the whole thing.

Well, it's about, it's a remake of the movie Good Fellows, but they're guys, instead of gangsters, they're guys who collect cinders and clean out fireplaces and chimneys. Okay, literally Cinder Fellows. Yeah, and it's like, it starts out with Jerry Lewis playing himself as a kid, much as we were singin' the close-cage does. And he's like, ever since I was a kid,

I wanted to clean chimneys. He's hangin' out at the local chimney parlor and the police catch him for cleaning chimneys without a license and he doesn't talk, and they're really proud of him. So they give him a carton of brooms that they can use to sweep out chimneys. One chim, chim, cherry later, he's hopped up on cocaine, cooking meatballs and hallucinating

helicopters. Debbie Mays are is there and then it's off to the suburbs. Cinder fellas rated R. Anyway, so back to this movie. It's a pretty good summary of good fellas. Thank you. I've seen it. So they got so Nicholas Cajun,

I would they feel like they are not really being made the most of in their roles. They're not respected by the policemen. Nobody listens to them. And everyone's making fun of them. But Nicholas Cajun, notices something a little strange in a file on a perp. Yeah, seemingly what was the normal perp is bailed out. Now, perp is short for purple. Yeah. Because it went because when you commit a crime, your hands turn purple. That's why I think they give you a copy of that stone temple pilots record purple. That's right. So this normal.

It's a normal. It is a. Remember when everyone was piloting stone temples How wide though? I don't people do that anymore This purpose been bailed out for $200,000 in cash and Nicholas Cage is like that's strange I'm Nicholas Cage that that's that's sparked something my friend I do the same suspicious to you others something my friend. There's the same suspicious to you. There's $200,000 in cash. I don't know where you get $200,000 in cash.

It was the ATM only. Let me take out like 800 bucks in a day. I'm going to have to go to a bunch of different ATMs to even do that. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Now I'm Jimmy Stewart. I'm also noticing something strange. Oh, wow. He got Jimmy Stewart as well as a... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I saw a giant rabbit as a friend. That's crazy. You can't even see him. That's crazy. That's how Brocott, the way they're stranger than this file, is a little book called Doodling. The story of intergalactic political shenanigans. What's going on?

The fight for the summer. Powerful resource in the galaxy. The shenanigans, I for the summer powerful resource in the galaxy shenanigans I think is overlooked usually when people talk about dude all the ladies yeah sort of Duke Lito Fides himself on June one cocaine ride later and he's making meatballs Elucinating helicopters and living out in the arachus suburbs Mm-hmm in the Freeman witness protection program. So I call it Dune Phyllis and I hope that you're interested in producing. So Nicholas Cage.

I'll direct them, Star. Wow. It's called Tom Brokos, Mary Shelley's Frank Herbert's Dune Fellows. Mm-hmm. This case starts a stake in out this guy to try and figure out, you know, what's going on here? What's going on? How does this guy have access to this much money? Yeah, you got to put papers on the purpose.

And he's doing it with the help of his friend, Ewood, Elijah Wood. And now there's a big montage of Nicholas Cage having a ball being undercover. He takes a bunch of vacation days to go undercover working at the same place at the same casino that this drug dealer also works as a waiter and he is having the time of his life and it is like you see a sort of charisma with Nicholas Cage here that we've missed in a bunch of movies and let me just say this right off the bat. The first half to two thirds of this movie this right off the bat. The first half to two thirds of this movie was like was a lot better than I expected it to be where he is discovering this case and he starts investigating it with Elijah Wood and Elijah Wood and Nicholas Cage have fantastic chemistry together.

They're both kind of weird guys but they're weird in different ways and Elijah Wood. Nicholas Cage is his high energy, Nicholas Cage weird. But not super high. Not super high. He's like higher than normal energy. You never quite know what he's gonna say. Elijah Wood is kind of like. He's a little bit haunted maybe.

Yeah, it's like he is seeing things that nobody else is seeing around them. And so you, and he reacts in a weird way. He's always a little bit weirded out by whatever Nicholas Cage is doing. And they have this great dynamic energy together. And like I wish there was a big budget movie that had room for Nicholas Cage in Elijah

would be in it together. Because like I would watch 10 movies starting these guys together. Like they could easily be a, you know, a serious Abbott and Costello who make movies together. Or this would be like a good limited series. Like an eight episode series.

Like a bright manader. Yeah, with these two belts and off each other. I mean, a better plot than this movie probably, but I mean, if you stretch this movie, the movie will stretch even at 90 minutes. It's a 90 minute film and- And even that felt like you were pulling Tffy to get to get to the full like 80 minutes I think would have been a nice handsome length for this film.

Like I would love to see it like a mini series that's more complicated in this but it has Nicholas Cage in the lives of what is the lead. So Hollywood do it up. And Nicholas Cage is able to bring a certain energy that's almost like, like an office dad who is on vacation for the first time in a long time is like a way for him as family and is like, kind of loving it.

Nicholas Cage strikes me these days as being like, similar in that way, the dad of a friend of yours who you are sleeping over at his house for the first time, and his dad seems like a cool nice guy, but kind of weird. And that is, then his balls fall out of his shorts and you're like, whoa, should I say something? Or do I have to keep looking at it? Those are the things of the size of bowling balls.

Does he have elephant eyes? He's gotta go to the doctor. Okay, sir. Okay, sir. Sir, sir, friends, dad, I apologize for calling attention to. You guys, thank you for the fungions. I gotta go. I appreciate the saw.

When you guys were in school, testicularly, and you testicularly yours me, and you had to spend time in the library. Had you wanted to, but like when you spent, yeah, thanks for mining, reading a fundamental Barbara Bush said this. So when you spent time in the library,

you guys looked up pictures of dudes with elephantiasis, right? Not really. No, that was like the first thing we did. There was one time. I mean, I looked in photography books for naked ladies is that kind of, but it's not like you're not laughing at human misery. No, I'm not doing that.

There was one time when I remember going to my high school library to use the computer for research something, probably some amazing topic like elephant or I don't know a president or something. And the screen, it's pressing a button so the screen said we'll go off and someone had just opened page after page of really gory like crime scene photos, accident photos. And I was like, this was not something I was ready for at the moment, less because of what was in the photos

and more because like, who was just sitting at a public computer in the library in the middle of the day looking up these pictures? But now looking back, there's probably like two teens who are egging each other on, you know, like, oh, whoa, gross, where's my head? I immediately went to there being like, there's a serial killer who goes to the school.

And he needed a midday fix. Or you have like a brick like detective who's solving a crime. Brick like in the movie brick. And I just like it. I can not not a detective who is a brick. He's compacted into a brick with a badge. Hey.

He smashes crime. He goes, he always jumps through the window. That's how he gets to places. Sure. What was the crime? Mortar one. Because he's a prick. Yeah, no, when you're talking about the idea of a bunch of college kids playing all the parts, that's the first thing I thought was brick. But that's pretty great. That takes place at a high school. No, I know.

That is a great movie. Anywho. So we were saying- Stop trying to get on Ryan Johnson's good side. I know that Star Wars Episode 8 title will be determined. That's the title. Yeah, it's crazy. The attack of the TVD.

Yeah. I know you're trying to get on his good side and try and get him on as a guest on this podcast. I mean, I've been trying to get on his good side and try and get him on his guest on this podcast. I've been trying to get on his good side for a long time. He's someone I've wanted to meet for a long time. I've loved all of his movies. Yeah, like I was talking shit about Brother's Bloom because it isn't very good,

but you were like super defending it. I mean, I like Brother's Bloom a lot. Yeah, and I'm like, that's the only part of the song. Yeah, I like that because it's not a very good movie and you guys were both like, oh, anything to get Ryan Johnson on here. I mean, I don't love the narration of it.

I think that's a little too chewy as much as I love Ricky J, who doesn't narration in that, right? But I think it's a good movie. I like it, brother, come on. Ryan Johnson, come on the podcast and tell Stuarties wrong about brother's glue. Yeah, come on, Ryan Johnson. I know you've been on film spotting.

What do they got that we don't got? Look, I know you like Looper and it's tie and merchandise Fruit Looper. That's when, that's when, two kids say I had to go back and kill himself. Shit. Yeah, we want to show you the Tigers arms and legs disappear. This isn't great.

Fruit looper is like, if you want to murder yourself, just follow my nose. You like, you like the mad magazine parody, Pooper? Sure, I love that. I'm never better than that. Come on. I think we are. No, we were doing a great, I hadn't even got to the point where we were talking about that

one, that one assassin who's cocoa, cocoa pops, no one wants to work with him. Yeah, but what happens next, I forget where were we in the So we weren't very far so there so they've just they figured out that He a Nicholas cage says to Elijah Wood. Hey, there's this weird thing. We got to figure it out It becomes pretty clear to Elijah would wait are you trying to find out where this guy is getting his money from so that you can Rob him and Nicholas cage like no, no, that's not come on. That's not I'm just it's a straight weird case We got a look into it, it's just a straight, weird case, we gotta look into it. It's just a mental exercise.

Oh, I'm just trying to keep my mind sharp as a senior. It's like, I'm playing a Sudoku. I do a lot of weird games, a lot of Sudoku. I was just all about like keeping yourself busy because it's like a knife blade. You gotta keep sharpening it, the unused mind, that's what gets dull and blunt. So anyway, I've been taking a salsa class. I just gotta keep busy in your retirement. That's what I'm- It's not what you think of, we make salsa. the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped,

the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped,

the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped,

the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the onion is chopped, the same simple components can be arranged in so many different ways to make so many different combinations. So, salt, there's the salsa class, that's my name. Sounds like you're confusing metaphor with real life when you say you keep the knife blade sharp in your mind, but you're also keeping the knife blade sharp for your salsa. That's a good point because you're not going to be able to cut through the tomato unless you're knife is sharp.

You want one of those against your knives. So you can cut both the tomato and the can in the shoe because what if you want to make a salsa with a shoe in it or salsa with the can in it? You can do that salsa. It just means salsa. It just means salsa. So you can do anything in it. You just put anything in it.

Did you know that? All this time I thought salsa, it's like sopa. I mean soup. I thought they were serving me soap. That's why I never ordered it on the menu. I don't want soap. That's not something you eat or something you wash with. So I was like, why did I go to this restaurant? I'm not going to order something to wash with. Do they have a shower in the bag?

Because I didn't see it when I used the restroom or the banjo as they would call it and so the fucking Nicholas cage my So I guess what I'm saying is you're always learning something new in this life and that's how you stay eternally young So I guess what I'm saying is you're always learning something new in this life. And that's how you stay eternally young forever young like Malgipshin in that movie. So you freeze yourself. So that's all where it stays. Got all burned up. No, I think you're called the Mr. Melty face. You're probably thinking of Mr. Melty face, which was a sequel to the man without a face

where he gets a surgery to have a face. And unfortunately, they give him a multi face and he changes his name to Mr. Melty multi-face kind of own it and we were really inspired by that when we made face off because I thought about how milk Ipsom would probably want to take that face off and I went to my friend John Wu or as I called him Johnny Wu and I said well I think there's a real moving here about a guy who takes his face off and John says this is what makes him a genius what if he put the face on somebody else's face that's like that's that's what makes him a genius. Before that, you were just gonna take it off

and put it in a bowl. Yeah, yeah, just put it like make an object to art. Because what if that bowl started committing crimes? And then it's like, my face is committing these crimes on the bowl. And I don't know what to do. People are gonna be like, hey, there's Nicholas Cage over there

and you're like, that's just a bowl of my face. No, no, that's just my face. Look at me. It's hard to look at me. My wife is confused. Is that my husband or a bowl of face on it? And he got to bring in brick detective because it takes an inanimate object,

an object and an object. And so they start reading together and they realize that he is involved with some kind of criminal law. Did that so long? It's weird to hear your normal voice. It feels weird to talk in this way. And imagine if I just kept talking with that and I go home, I walk in, it's late because we record this late at night. My wife is asleep. Thanks for you want to paint the rest of the picture? We're in Dan's apartment. It's a little dim, kind of a sexy way. In fact, Dan, turn on that saxophone music over there.

Oh, it's just Jury Ravry. That's not sexy. It speaks to me of regrets. Who says? All right. Who says? I mean, it makes me think of like wet pavement underneath a street light.

No, when Dan's sexier than that, the only, only sexier sex of own is that shirtless guy in the lost boys who plays a sex of own on the beach. I mean, the only other sex fun thing that anyone knows. That's my way. See, that's sexier, yeah. So anyway, I'm gonna walk in and I'm gonna say to my wife, she's gonna be half asleep and say, honey, I'm back, I'm just gonna get him to bed and she would be so scared.

She had no idea who was talking to her. Oh no, there's just how I talk now. She's still with that knife that she keeps on in either pillow. Yeah, her bed knife. Well, that's just so the knife fairy can come and bring her in, Nicole. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Yeah, do you think the police academy's Michael Winslow ever has that got a trouble where he gets into bed and he has a drop character and he's like, there's a helicopter getting your bed with me. How many bleeps and creeps are getting in here? Well, that was Michael Winslow to that part, was it? He did do that part. So Elijah Wood and Nicholas Cage find that it's all this, there's some laundromat that has a,

or has meat freezer place, there's some place that things are being criminal stuff is being delivered to. And it, they recently, Elijah Wood, everything goes in, nothing goes out. Like the Roach Motel, and Elijah Wood has bribed his way into finding blueprints for the place that show those bloops. Bloops.

Bloops. The biz. He's got some bloops and bracket little jokes. He finds that they've recently installed an enormous vault. So they're hiding something good. A vault of horror. And the only way to get in is for them

to buy a special diamond-tipped drill from Germany. And to get the money to do that, Elijah Wood has to go with a dirty cop played by Ethan Souplie. Ethan Souplie to shake down. From a butterfly effect, right? My name is Earl. My name is Earl. I mean, a butterfly effect was what put them on the mat.

That's right. I guess so. Do you remember when Souplie Mania swept the mat? What was great about that is that it gave an opportunity to play that character in a bunch of different outfits. Yeah. Well, we're doing like a goth version. So I heard I was going to make a movie with a Supri and I was like, that sounds delicious.

I love soup. It turns out it was a guy. So like, sopa means soup. It's not soap, but souply is not soup. It's a guy. Yeah. It's like, you're always learning new things. You can't take any friend from Brandon.

I guess that's how you stay young right now. Yeah, it's how you really keep your mind fresh. I guess the only cage is the one you build around your mind. So do you think Jerry, just wondering, Jerry Lewis? Do you think he did the movie just so he can meet Frodo Macons? Yeah, probably. Yeah, I assume Jerry Lewis is a huge... Why do you change voices? You ruined the ocean. I assume Jerry voices you really

should. I assume Jerry Lewis is a huge lord of the rings fan. I can just I can actually just imagine Jerry Lewis and lord of the rings. We're gonna like, what is this bullshit? I don't have time for like the short people essentially my casual ring. That's you can't make a movie about short people who got a dispose of a ring. Then they can just want to just throw the Roman ring in the trash. Just give it to Jerry Lewis is like, just give it to Tom Bombard. And they're like, no, Jerry, we got to explain to you why that's not why you can't really

do that. He's so absent minded. It's nice habits. Yeah. Neither of us is doing great, Jerry. That was Jackie Gleason. That's good. How is that Jackie Gleason? That's Johnny Carson doing Jackie Gleason. Yeah. All right. This is not a rich vein. It's a rich little. Anyway, moving on. Cause they're impressions. They decide they're going to bust into this, into this vault, but they're both doing things that are compromising them ethically and morally. Yeah, busts and doesn't necessarily make them feel good. Elijah Wood is shaking down another drug area for money, Nicholas Cage buys some illegal

guns and then just shoots and kills the gun dealer. That's kind of when we see a turn. Yeah, I've been told this point is you're like, this is a lighthearted caper where there's a very enjoyable one. I'll just say a very enjoyable one. Offbeat characters are gonna rip off some criminals and because they're robbing criminals, you don't feel too bad about it. It's almost like a faceless criminal enterprise. And we're rooting for them because they're kind of doofs.

Like, because Cage is not slick, he's not cool, he's just kind of a doof. But at the moment he kills that gun dealer, you're like, wait. And we're starting to get the impression that some of Nicholas Cage's weirdness could be an act. Well, he's an actor. Yeah, I guess. I mean, you got me there. You know he was really robbing a place, right? It was a movie. This way. So it wasn't just a camera crew following him around. No, no, this was like a

way to make my mind stop situation. We're like, let both our minds went to man by dogs. Yeah. Any of any number of real documentaries about me. He followed my camera crews. Yeah. Uh, so, but like, there's some great old moments like when there's a confusion as to who picked up the van and Elijah Woods freaking out, because he's like, I thought you were supposed to pick up the van. We're supposed to do this tomorrow and you didn't pick up the van. And endless cage shut reveals that he was, he was messing around all along. It's just, it's just a class cage.

Just a joke. Just a pre-hised joke. Joke. Just jokes. And so Nicholas Cage is seeming less on the ball, the character, as we go forward. And Elijah Wood is getting a little creeped out, but he's still drawn to doing it. And it's coupled with Elijah Wood's performance up to this point the whole time. It's a little bit like he's acting like he's on fucking LSD the whole time and seeing things that nobody else is seeing a little bit like he like like like Dr.

Gonzo was waiting off screen to be like, hey dude, let's go do this thing. So they go to perform this highest, which involves them going to the building where the vault is breaking into or I guess getting into the apartment above it and drilling down through the top of the vault. Now there's two people in that apartment, an older guy and a woman and things go bad almost instantly in that Nicholas Elijah would go out to get something. Oh, when he comes back, he finds Nicholas Cage has killed the man. Yeah, the man spit on Nicholas Cage. We see this and Elijah Wood comes back in and Nicholas Cage is like, did you hear anything? And we know immediately Nicholas Cage has shot the guy and is testing to see whether Elijah

would hurt him, shoot him with the silencer and Nicholas Cage, rather than being like, oh, he spit on me, so I shot him. He's like, oh, he spit on me so I shot him. Like, he's like, oh, he tried to escape. Yeah. And things get from go from tense to tensor as they try to break into this vault. They got to drill through a floor. The woman is not happy that they're there

and killed someone she shares an apartment with. And so that's tense. And things are just not as friendly between Elijah Wood and Nicholas Cage. It's a tense situation, you know. You gotta have a foundation built on communication, trust and respect. And it is so hard for me not to start seeing

the Megadeth song, Trust, which is doing that, saying a couple times while we're watching the movie. That's a cryptic writing. And so things are a little tense between them. And long story short, they get into the vault and there's a long sequence. Yeah, Paul, thanks you have on it. there's a long sequence. Yeah, a whole big job on it. There's a long sequence of them cracking the safe with looking at the tumblers and yeah,

it goes on forever. It's a pretty, I mean, you were losing interest, but I would say it's a pretty substantial of all the sequence. I okay. I think if you were, if you were not watching it with the three of us, the three of us, the two of us, the three total. So if I was watching it just as a disembodied soul, without three of us, the two of us, the three total. So if I was watching it just as a disembodied soul without me or you guys.

Exactly. If you were on the astral plane watching it. Yeah. And so Steven Strange just pulled me out of my body so we could watch the trust together. Yeah, and you could focus on it more. I think you would have enjoyed it more. Maybe. I really want that.

I really want that. I go into the astral plane. so he can focus on movies better. Yeah, that's so I will admit that in Heist movies, the actual Heist is usually my least favorite part of the movie. I love seeing them planning and bringing the team together. Yeah, you love seeing when they bring a team together where they're like, I guess we're going to go to the Savage land and get this dinosaur cowboy. I need the best damn dinosaur cowboy

to go along in this Heist. You need the best damn dinosaur cowboy to go in this high. You know it. That's my favorite part. But like it's the movie sexiness. The motor, a Mars and find this moon man. This our highest needs a dinosaur cowboy. A moon man gambler. A mermaid who's also a cop and we need a gazelle that knows how to, she had a deal blackjack. And we need three alligators, two of whom are deaf, and one of whom is a priest. Okay. And then we can pull off the greatest heist

in the history of heists. But like one of the things I like about sexy beast is that the heist takes up almost none of the movie. It's about the dynamic between these characters. But so that's just on me that I was not that interested in the mechanics of the highest ones they were playing. It's mainly just Ray Winsdon hanging out by a pool, right? Which is

pretty end of Boulder falling down the. Going broiling. With the exception of Rafifi, where there's that 30 minute no dialogue heist sequence, which is actually really cool. But anyway, besides all that, so things are going crazy. They get into the safe finally, and what do they find in there? Like white walls. Yeah, it's like they walked into a fucking alien space. And there was part of me that was like, is this going to turn into a spaceship? Because I would kind of like that. But no, it's just full of diamonds.

It's one of those, it's their all like panels where you press on them and they open up. And there's diamonds and diamonds and diamonds in there. Sleepress on diamonds. Yeah, Liz with Taylor walked by and said, these have always brought me luck until the earrings off and put them in the mall. And she did that like 10,000 times. I mean, as she, they, they, she, they need a lot of luck, you know. And yeah, the, what is stakes is that fucking dude playing cards for

when he can just throw those fucking diamonds in there. He should just take the diamonds and walk off with them. Yeah, I'm assuming the other people are like, fuck, I fold. You've got a little bit of a take. You win automatically. You look diamonds. This place is so lousy with diamonds that Elijah was like, okay, it seems a little more serious than I expected. This is so lousy with diamonds that Elijah was like, okay.

Yeah, man. This seems a little more serious than I expected. He starts thinking like Nicholas Cage, you must have known something ahead of time. Yeah, this is too perfect. He gets cold feet. Like that doesn't I guess surprise me in some level when you consider the enormity of the crime. And that he realizes this is a, if these kinds of diamonds are here and these numbers,

this is a richer, more powerful gang than we realized and they're not going to just let us walk away with these diamonds. So he starts telling Nick Cage, let's just leave it. Let's not keep any of it. Let's just go. And that leads to an argument, of course. Yeah, a friendly argument, just an exchange of words. And definitely a variety of which of all Snickles Cage put it pointing to Gun of Elijah Wood. Yeah. As we've all wanted to do when we've seen those Wilfred commercials.

Yeah, yeah, just point out the camera. Or wait, the TV television or my 35 millimeter camera that I have is sitting around. Your life's top taking bad pictures of me. Yeah. Long story short, camera, add 10 pounds will you? I'll fucking I'll shoot 10 pounds off of you. I'll add 10 pounds of life. Wow.

Wow. That's what they said to Robocop. They said to Alex Murphy, right? That's right. Who shoot 10 pounds of you. Then they they blasted way more than 10 pounds off, and they removed his arms and legs. That is the most absurd beginning to a movie.

Oh, the first time I saw RoboCop, I was so disgusted by that. That whole scene is gross. That is amazing. They are giving you an understanding of what the bad guys are capable of. I would consider it genius. I mean, it is, but the fact that

it's possibly the best way to open a new one. When they blast his limbs, his limbs fly off, like he's a crashed hasdomy. Oh, I'm sorry, you're like a master of physics slash anatomy, Elliot. I mean, I love how crazy Paul Vero is, but at the same time, you watch it, and you're like, my God,

that they've salvaged anything from this man. Yeah, that's the wonders of modern science. Yeah. And makes it all the worse. It's a thing, it's desire to be a really good cop and dad, just kind of holds them together. It makes them all the worse, make it all worse when they remove his other arm

while he's still incapacitated when he's in the lab, you know? Mm-hmm. That's why you don't feel bad. That's why you're kind of forgiven for both the dudes dick off later. Because you're like, he knows with that slide. Yeah, he's got a pretty real. He has never had his limbs blown off cast the first stone on this one.

He's just gonna shoot that purple dick right off. That's, forgot that purple. And then that's, and then that scene in showgirls when they blast all the Elizabeth Berkeley's limbs off, that was just going too far too. Yep. But when she came back as lady turbo. Wait, no, lady, the robo stripper. I guess.

I don't know. Nice, nice stripping, son. What's your name? Berkeley. Like, that's the actress's name. Wait, sorry. Elizabeth, can we take that over again? I thought your name was Naomi.

Thank you from the top. Thank you, Steve. Thank you. Thank you, Steve. Thank you. What's your nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, the TNBC lineup. Wow, what an understanding, first-hand, this director.

I guess it's Paul Verhoeven is saying, I understand how you've played the character for so long on the TNBC lineup before California dreams. Let's see. I don't know what Paul Verhoeven sounds like. I assume like that. Yeah, like somebody who loves California dreams.

So they were a band. So say for such a talented band fight, say, say in school, was it because they wanted to fall back Korea in case the music industry did not recognize the genius? Or possibly just like America's love affair with California would have maybe went away? Yeah, maybe people are tired of like California style. Like avocado on everything.

Oh, don't get me started on that. That's a crime against burgers. For a second, I was like, are we talking about the trust? For a second, I was like, can I actually remember Elizabeth Berkeley's character? Naomi, right? Yeah, it's Naomi Malone. Oh, Naomi. She's character? Naomi, right? Yeah, it's Naomi Malone. Oh, Naomi.

She's playing Klaus Naomi Malone. Yeah. She's playing the kind of a fraudulent robot man. I can't remember them. Of course, I can remember them. Come on. How many girls are you 100% gonna remember? What was the name of the show that she started?

You're like 10 beers deep. Right, and you remember that. It's like a call or something. It's like, oh God. Avocado. It's like Aphrodite or something like that. Yeah. Now here's what I don't,

I've never seen like a Las Vegas show girl show. I've never been Las Vegas. So that show. Let's rectify that right now. I'm in a Vegas show. That's people are only in the podcast. So it's a show has both like a volcano, the dawn of time number. And also some kind of leather motorcycle.

It's the 80s of the future. Yeah. You know, number, what kind of show is this? Is there a story or it's just random scenes? It's just tabloes. And those are the only two scenes we see, right? So is that the whole show? So about ventilation, dude, like you, you take your squeeze to the show, you get a little bit worked up watching them of volcano, and so then you head back to your room. Yeah, I don't imagine there's a story that links those things. Like, I mean, when I was in Vegas, I saw a pen and teller.

I didn't see like some like... So they take their clothes off or what? They did not, they were not topless. But when I... I actually did see pen and teller do a show where they took other clothes off now. Really? Yeah, they did a bit where they wanted to prove

that they weren't hiding anything on their bodies. So they had a thing in front of them and they took off all their clothes and they brought up an elderly couple, those in the audience to go behind the kind of half curtain like that was covering them from the waist down to a test to the fact that they were naked. And I just remember Penn saying,

you wanna check under Lil Houdini? Let me lift up Lil Houdini. You wanna check under Lil Houdini? Let me lift up Lil Houdini. You wanna check under Lil Houdini? And my mother who had taken my brother and my sister and I to see the show, because we'd seen Penn and Teller before. We loved them. My mother being like, that's too far.

She didn't care for the Lil Houdini line. But your brother, David, was loving it. Oh, he was laughing. He was laughing that shit up. He was like, this is even better than sports. He was like, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. He's so funny. I love naked magic, anyway.

So, tension is at an all time high between Nicholas Cage and Elijah Wood. They are really representing our nation and that they're divided. And so, Elijah Wood takes pity on the woman hostage that they have and allows her to call someone because she says she has what a child. She has a child and she's like,

I gotta call his father and let him know. And Nicholas, and when Nicholas Cage comes back, he's talked to Elijah Wood about how I already bought the plane tickets for the two of us to go fly off on a beach vacation together, we're best buds now. It's a real George and Lenny relationship in some ways. And Elijah Wood shoots Nicholas Cage as he walks in like having any of it.

He does not believe that Nicholas Cage is his friend. Like he believes that Nicholas Cage is gonna set him up. Yeah. And that there's more to this than meets the eye than maybe Nicholas Cage is a transformer. And he shoots him and Nicholas Cage falls down dead and he's got the plane tickets in his hand. He was telling the truth the whole time.

Elijah Wood decides he's gonna drive this hostage out of the middle of nowhere and let her go. I mean until He's not gonna take any of the fucking diamonds and he puts all the fucking show and he puts all the diamonds back But hey, it wouldn't matter if he did dig the diamonds anyway because while he's out in the middle of the highway His car is surrounded by vans and he's shot to death and the woman gets out of the stuff that they tied her up in and it's clear she was part of this gang the whole time. Yeah, the the the phone number that Elijah Wood had written on his hand to let this woman call is the same as the phone number on the back of this band. So the woman has signaled these people to come to come stop Elijah Wood Elijah Wood. And then their belongings are taken by the evidence people and put away in the very evidence management locker,

they themselves worked in. By the top man I'd imagine. Yeah, thus the ironic end to the trust. So wait a minute. So Nicholas Cage got Elijah Liza Wood, a plane ticket. Wouldn't he have to find out a shillow to information? Yeah, like his birthday, his travel number. Who knows?

I mean, at... Yeah, he wants to get those miles, right? He wants to find out what they're using. It's all about miles, double miles, yeah. Does he have that global pass? Does he want the kosher meal? Yeah. I guess he... So they're going to the Bahamas. You want the kosher meal? Yeah, I guess you're going to the Bahamas. You want the kosher meal when you fly to the Bahamas?

So you're saying there's a thing? Are they going to NASA? Yeah, the NASA Coliseum. So there's a scene where Nicholas Cage is at his computer being like, oh, so what's hold on? So he's going to want an aisle seat or a window seat. Nobody wants a meal. That would not be out of place in the first two thirds of the three.

That's true. That's true. And the first two thirds of the three. That's true. And the first two thirds of this movie, should we just go to final judgments? We're going to the final judgments. Is this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie you kind of like? For the first two thirds, this is a movie I kind of liked. It was Nicholas Cage and Elijah would play like characters who are not so quirky that it was obvious and artificial, but they were bringing their own personal styles to these characters.

And it was kind of like a, and it was a light, heist set up movie. And then when it took a turn into the more intense and serious, it lost me more out of, it just feeling more generic at that point. It wasn't like, I've betrayed. I've, I've came to love these characters and now they're bad. It was more like, oh, I've betrayed. I've came to love these characters, and now they're bad. It was more like, oh, okay, like I've seen this movie before. I haven't necessarily seen a Nicholas Cage, Elijah Wood, goofy guy highest movie before.

Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say that this is a movie that I liked. I wouldn't even say kind of like, I liked it. Yeah, I genuinely liked the parts that I liked. I would say, you know what, and they were enough for the home movie. I agree with Dan. I mean, like the ending of the movie is a little too generic. Like, you know, like I feel bad because I did like the movie.

I kind of feel bad giving spoilers for it because it's a movie that I kind of feel like if you're into the level thrillers, like very stripped down silly thrillers, like I could see you actually having an enjoyment of this movie is a good Sick home from work movie. Yeah, so I feel a little bit bad spoiling it but at the end where everyone dies like I kind of feel a little kind of feel a little, eh, whatever, you know, they're trying to do like a blood simple neon noir where it's a downbeat ending. One of your red rock West. Yeah, but it doesn't.

Also sorry, Nicholas Gates. Yeah, there you go. It doesn't quite gel. I mean, I enjoy the ironic end of the stuff being bagged up. That's fine. Although you can kind of see it coming from a mile away but other than that I had a really good time watching this movie actually I So there's some really great little moments in the early

The early scenes of the movie like I love the scene where they're Having a conversation in that like weird casino diner or something Yeah, and Elijah Woods wondering whether or not the guy at the end of the bar is getting a hand job from the woman and he's like, it's hard to tell because he's eating right now. Which is just kind of, you know, it's a funny moment. There's a part where he's laid out and taped a layout of the building that's having breached it. Which is kind of great.

Unlike that scene too. And Kechniklis Cage is like, well, what's this over here? And you know, a bee flew in my face while I was doing that part. That's nothing. Like, that stuff's pretty good. Yeah. I like to, if they, if they're really trying to sell the idea that, uh, that, Elijah Woods character has become a little bit too, uh, cool.

No, no, he's not too cool for school. Too cool for stool. It's that he's, what about you? He stops going to the bathroom. It's just constipated. Yeah, he's just, hey, my doctor says I'm too cool for stool. Know you're back to. Too school, too cool.

Too school, is he too cool for school? That's me. I'm too school for cool, I'll just say it. Yep, LA use the time-turner to get in extra classes. And they, too cool for tool. The rock band. That's what can you'd say dude what a band. They're a little bit heavy. They're a little bit melody. It's too cool. What a singer. Laybo James Keenan fellow. Name Maynard. Maynard James Keenan.

Laybo James Keenan. Laybo James Keenan. I mean, that's similar to first name. Yeah, like your name's, first name's Daniel. And there's also a Daniel Craig, a Daniel Webster. Wait, wait, Daniel McCoy, like Daniel Titer, the cartoon Titer. Are you guys related? Oh boy. Like the book of Daniel, did you write that? That he's become like isolated and caught up in his head and he's jumping at shadows.

I don't feel like they didn't really sell that enough for me to make him turn on somebody who at this point were supposed to assume his is friend and who he's really not had any reason to doubt up till this point. Like he's the idea that he, I guess he did kill, Nicholas gave me a kill somewhere. He doubted some of his motivations, but the idea that he hasn't really had a moment of like, dude, you gotta stop killing people.

Yeah. And there's a great little scene where they're eating sandwiches by the giant drill while they're drilling into the building. And he's like, let me change the sandwich. My proof. There's a lot of, the overall plot is nothing special unique, but there's a lot of little moments in it that are genuinely funny.

And Nicholas Cage and Elijah Wood sell those really well. Yeah. There's a part in the beginning. There's also a movie I kind of like. They're at a crime scene and Elijah Wood just starts playing like a drum beat on something he finds there. But anyway, yeah, movie we like.

And now it's time for letters from listeners. Listeners like you, perhaps, did you write a letter? Then you might be one of the letters, but probably not. Wait, they'll be one of the letters? Yeah, no one of the letters. So wait, is this a flat Stanley type situation where they folded themselves up into an envelope and mailed themselves to us? Yeah, that's so that flat Stanley could murder people and eat team out of the envelopes.

Oh, it's interesting. And I couldn't find a way for the killers to get in to accept this male slot, but who could feed through a male slot? At least we're on the lookout for a flat Stanley, an F Stanley. Subject is flat. And they finally catch him, they do the facing forward mug shot and the profile mug shot,

and you can't even see him in the profile mug shot. Yeah, it's great. And they put him in a regular style cage, and he just fucking slips right out, bro. Put him in a regular style, Nicholas Cage. So I've got to swallow this guy so we can escape. Whatever your need officer, I'm here to serve you as a citizen. It's back to flatland with you, my boy.

The conceptual... Tell it to Abbot. No, no. Yo, Maria, you'll be telling board middle schoolers about different dimensions soon. I don't know if my Irish cop is turning into a Swedish chef. Anyway, the point is it's time for letters from listeners. Letter time. Letter time.

It's letter time with cage miss silver bells Right us letters. We got a letter from a bell Cage was time poorly thought out rhymes Making it up as I go along Wait, you don't write these down times making it up as I go along. Wait, you don't write these names. It's time. Letterslime, that is the end of the song.

All right, well, Stuart and I can stop looking at the alcohol by volume on our beers. Oh, yeah, that's not bad. Ha, ha, ha. So the first letter of the night is from AJ Lasting with Held, who says, I love your show. And I think Dan is fucking handsome. That's clearly just pandering to the show.

And it worked apparently. You know Dan's job, Applejack. Dan's vulnerability is horrible vanity. I just watched Captain America's Civil War again, and man, it made one half as much sense as I remember. How could a movie with so much going for it have a plot this bad? How would you change the Marvel Cinematic Universe if you could? Fewer Portal climaxes.

What heroes would you dump or add in the actors you would switch out? Where in the story would you work in a obligatory blue skype game? Is Jeff Goldblum in there someplace? Why not put him in, peachfully, AJ Lasting withheld. I would love to have Jeff Goldblum in there, but what character would he be right for? A hero, a villain?

Yeah, that's a good question. It would be a little different visually from the comics, but I would cast him, I think, as the mad thinker, except he's probably part of the fantastic four family of characters, and so 20 centric Fox. No part of the piece, but I would cast him, I think, as the mad thinker, except he's probably part of the fantastic four family of characters. And so 20 centric Vox, not part of the MCU. We almost said MPCU. I know what Stewart's answer is. Who just went, the Marvel characters went to politically correct University.

Jeremy Vivin shows of what's up. Stewart says, gambit over everything. Yeah, but gambits, no. Just plaster gambit all over. And it's part of the X-Men family of characters. We can't call them in human now. Yeah. Oh, I guess there's like,

you managed to crystal in his face and he turns into an inhuman. And that tarragon mists. Now you're in a human, throw some cards around, dude. Go on, Remi LeBeau. I think if the, I would like the Marvel movies to have a greater variety of plot lines and climaxes.

I feel like they've established a template that template worked great a bunch of times. Let's mix it up a little bit. Let's do it a little differently. And fewer portals and blue lights. You want more arcade and mojo version shit, right? Those are all X-Men characters. They're all owned by Fox right now. It is a rich universe of thousands of characters

where all your suggestions in the X-Men family. Savage land, can they go to Savage land? No, I don't think so. They can probably go, no, they can't even go to La Veria because that's the Fantastic Four universe. Maybe they can go. They could fight Moman. The problem with Moman is that your climax is again gonna be the characters, you know, Moman's a Fantastic Four character. What am I mole man? They could fight mole man. The problem with mole man is that your climax is again

gonna be the characters, you know, mole man's a fantastic four character. What am I talking about? What, who do the fucking Avengers fight then, dude? Other than Ultron and Loki. Zima, which they've used, Loki, which they used. They fight like, local name or,

cool name comics, name or, second comic. They fight name or, it's a good question. No. The second ones where they fight the Hulk. Yes, I mean, you can have if you're going to go back to the early ones, there's the living

eraser, the space phantom. Yeah, the space fan. You can do those characters. The magma man who's going to play a space fan. I'm fucking he Lori. I'll bring him back. Apparently they can't use Kang for some reason. Lane.

Lane. What about Kodos? Why are you out of the Avengers. What about Kodos? Laya Yada. The Avengers don't have an amazing rogue gallery from the most part. But the Spider-Man, dude. Spider-Man's got the best rogue gallery, but they could they could

fight the wrecking crew, you know, like the record artist. Back up band for all those classic motels. Sure they can. They can fight them, I guess. I think they'll probably beat them. I mean, they're just musicians, right?

But I think that's one of the reasons that, I mean, they could fight the Grim Reaper, they could fight Enchantress, the Executioner. I mean, any of the masters of evil characters? Who's that guy with the skull face who has a shield and a sword? That's a taskmaster. Yeah, can they fight that guy? I would love it. He would be great, right? I've been a fan of his for a taskmaster. Yeah, can they fight that guy? I would love it. He would be great, right?

I've been a fan of his for a long time. But my main thing would be mix up the plots. It's the same way that at the end of a Force Awakens, which I was enjoying greatly, they're like, here's what they're cooking up. It's an even bigger Death Star. And I was like, oh, really? This is the third time we've seen a Death Star climb.

I did love that they hung a lantern on it where Haum solvah was just like, oh, really? This is the third time we've seen a Death Star climb. I did love that they hung a lantern on it where Haum Solo was just like, oh, it's just a bigger Death Star. It's always a way to explode those. Even better than calling it out is just like do something different. Yeah. I feel like here's what I want to see in a Marvel movie.

I want to see the characters not dealing with a big army of things jumping at them or a portal. And in Star Wars movies, what I'd love to see in a future Star Wars sequel is like, the bad guys have figured out a way to get into people's minds. Like there's a telepathic through the dark side of the force threat. So it's not a big thing they have to blow up, but it's something that they have to try to outwit

even though it's inside their own head. You know, something that is, you could still have action sequences. Maybe the, and I'm not a huge fan of heroes fighting each other plot lines, but you could do that with this. You don't know who to trust. But with the Marvel movies, they got to figure out some way to do it. It's not just the heroes standing one place while an army of aliens or robots flies at them

over and over again. Yeah, you cannot pass like the, we draw the line here. That sort of thing, like here. That sort of thing. Unless it's going to be the executioner on that bridge in that one thoracomic where he stands there to fight the army of the dead with two automatic weapons in his hands. Your your gulrumbrum or whatever it's called, it's got some Norse name. And it becomes his legends that he perished at that bridge, holding off thousands of undead. That's pretty cool.

Yeah. Although I think it's funny that you bring up changing up plotlines and third acts, when he's talking about Civil War, which was a huge change from the other Marvel movies. And it doesn't feature a big battle. There's no portal. I mean, there feature a big battle. There's no portal. I mean, there's a big battle at the end of the second act

between the two groups of heroes. Yeah, where they're like, hey, we're gonna give you everything you've ever dreamed of, enjoy this. Oh, that was so great. Spider-Man's there and it man turns it to giant man and rips the wing of the plane. How does it go?

Yeah. Like that was maybe my favorite scene in any of those movies, I think. Mm-hmm. But some mix it up, mix them up, variety, variety, variety, you know. But more Craven in there. Viva variety. Craven, yeah, Craven could be in there now. Yeah, the variety, part of the MCU.

Very, not very blue jeans. That's an adventure. That's something. I think his name is Johnny Blue. Johnny Blue, James. Yeah. I'm Johnny Blue, James. Yeah.

There was that the that song he had called called I just want to make out with you, big. Then these things are going over to that one corner of the roller ring. This next letter, speaking of Marvel, it's titled Elliot asks and I deliver from Chris last name with hell. Is it Pratt? Is it, uh, Go see that movie where it's mean Jennifer Lawrence space. It's not. It's titled Elliott. Michael Sheen.

Uh, it's titled Elliott asks and I deliver. It's a Robobart tender. It's from Nora last name with hell. Nor Charles. My greatest enemy is a Robobart. It's a gun that puts me out of business. Wait a little time. The new, new voice at work.

She writes, oh, Elliott, baby, you shouldn't ask for sexual fantasies on the internet. You don't really want to know. No. The moral. I don't remember doing that. The Marvel Universe. You asked for Marvel sexual fantasies. I did.

The Marvel Universe is one of sexy, sexy and possible beings. And how can a girl resist that? I want to share a hotel room with MCU Black Widow and Hawkeye and have a party in our underwear while Weird Al is partying the CIA plays on the stereo. If you don't think that's a sexual fantasy, you're thinking about it all wrong. I want Thor, but from the late 90s with the leather and the belts and the hair. And then I want to put- So like when it was when it was thunder strike?

I don't know. I don't know enough about the history of Thor. All right, forget it then. The leather and the belts and the hair. And then I wanna put them in a, give them a makeover and braid his ridiculous 90s hair and put them in heels. I want to be sandwiched between Tommy Shepherd

and David Dellene. You know those two are fucked, right? Am I right or am I right? I don't even know who those are. I want to make tacos with the 616 hawk eyes and feed one to pizza dog. That was not sexual, it just seems really nice. They deserve nice things.

I'm learning ASL, I bet Clint would help me practice. Imagine us eating on the couch, sunlight streaming in through the windows, lucky laying with his head on her feet on my feet This is so wrapped up in current continuity. Maybe Kate would let me play with her hair Gosh, that sounds nice. Oh my god. Are we talking about the fucking current Hawkeye look? No, we're talking about not the current Jeff Lemmeer book. We're talking about the previous Matt fraction. Oh, I hate that book mind you. You just don't like Matt fraction I like Matt fraction my teenage years my teenage years were spent furiously reading every DC comic

I could get my hands on So I have like hundreds of fantasies about Clark Kent and how Jordan and Cass Cain But that's not what you asked for so I'll say those for another day. That's the direct competition, right? Yeah, that's yeah, this is the house of ideas lots of that's brand-a Lots of love and thanks for making a fan girl happy with your silver surfer, erotic role play fantasy. Oh, that's what it was. I know where I last thing with hell. I remember that now. I'm waiting about the honk eye. Yeah, I mean, growing up, reading comics in the 90s myself, they're almost all marvel. My fantasies were all about like

siloq, you know, or road. Which I want to touch with, but I can't do it. Which siloq? Betsy Bradux mined in Quannon's body. Oh, okay, so I like the old silock. Oh, like 80s silock when she was still in Betsy Braddock's body. Roge was like, no, no, no, no. I want an English woman's brain in an Asian woman's body. That's the silock for me. The one that was trying to seduce Cyclops

for a couple of months and then gave up on it and no one ever talked about it again. Yeah, that was weird. Roge was like so obvious. It was like barely even subtext. What? The idea of like, you want to touch this, but you can't, you can't touch it, but you want to. And from her point of view, she wants to be touched, but she can't. Exactly. When it's bad for Remi Lebo, her bow. We've talked about the idea that male X-Men readers or female X-Men readers who like women should fall into either the shadow cat or rogue cat.

Yeah, I mean, those are the two available famous. I feel like you are in silo. I don't know what you're talking about. Her costume is just a thong bathing suit, but with shadow cat, that was very much, it was like all these X-women characters you want to, you just want to fling with, but Kitty Pride, you know what I'm saying? She's a developed character. Kitty Pride, you want to marry.

That's a girl you can take home to mom, because of your Jewish and so's your mom. So you're not interested in magic? Well, magic's kind of creepy and weird. Like, if I start dating her, suddenly what? I've got to go, I've got to go have dinner at Balasco's house in limbo. That's great. Not interested. She's wild card, dude. Or maybe you know what? Maybe I just want to have kind of a no strings relax attached relationship with Lila Cheney. She's always touring the universe. She's a strong guy. My favorite character in the Marvel universe

Lila Cheney. An intergalactic rock star Lila Lila Cheney. Oh my god. I love that shit. But she's related to that. That's what the fucking Marvel movies, I love that shit. But she's related to the chain. That's what the fucking Marvel movies need. Is more of that shit. But she's in the next many, well, Garden, the Galaxy Vol. 2 is coming out. So that's where the cosmic stuff is. Yeah, yeah, and they're gonna put all the,

are they gonna put, what is it? Cosmo, the telepathic dog? Are they maybe, here's Jeff Goldblum's part. I would have him as maybe the living trippin living tribunal who's long been a favorite character of mine He's the one he's the he's the judge of the cosmos who has three faces the living tribunals They reference that in dr. String. Oh, they do really because he's a dr. Strange character too He would they would always be like Steven's right and eternity is in trouble and then you'd have to go, you know, save eternity from Dormammu or something. No.

No. He turned me up and that's what you name was. No, that's where it should come on. It's basically a cut rate kids hyperborea. I'm sorry for whatever I did to you guys. He started this podcast. Robert Howard's spinning his grave thinking of eternity. I mean, he man is pretty bleating rip off of Conan. I guess Robert Howard spin in his grave thinking of attorney it.

I mean, he man is pretty pretty rip off of Conan. It's like, uh, what if we take nobody like a nerdy whip got to break a sword and turn into a giant awesome dude? What if we took that one scene from the heavy metal movie and did a kid series about that where he's nerdy But then he turns into a big barbarian guy. I'm talking about Dan, right? Dan and then they all have lasers we're John Goodman, right? Is it John Canning? That's what I'm saying. The world of Dan is still, if I was going to name a, so if you could live in any fantasy

world, which fantasy world would you live in? My response is always obviously the world of Dan from heavy metal where you get like murder or works and be an awesome dude. You get to be a Richard Cor works and being awesome, dude. You get to be a Richard Corbin character. Yeah, basically. I've heard living in stars hollow from Gilmore girls is a suitable answer because you just eat food all the time and hang out.

Wait, that counts as a fantasy world. That's a totally a fantasy world. Dan, you were right. I don't know why I thought John, even though knowing John Candy did other parts in the movie, I don't know why I thought it was Jim Dylan. My friends Jen and Scott bring this up almost every time there at the bar. Bring up what? I don't know why I thought John, even though knowing John Candy did other parts in that movie, I don't know why I thought it was John Dylan. It was John Candy. My friends Jen and Scott bring this up almost every time there at the bar.

Bring up what? If you could live in any fantasy world, what fantasy world would you live in? Or a world from fiction, fictional world. Fictional world, okay. Good question. Hmm. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. I mean, all of the worlds that I think of are like Charlie Brown? Yeah. Why would I? No, that's the world I'm doomed to live in. Already.

That's not the world that I want to live in. I want to live in the world of the Correction. I want to live in perpetual melancholy. And the infinite sadness, yeah. No, all of the worlds that I feel like immediately stringed in mind are like very like Tweety comforting English worlds. Like, like the wind in the willows.

Like wind in the willows, exactly. That's what I was thinking of. Or like, hoppeton before any like, you know, like stuff actually happens. Just like this. Yeah, yeah. But it's just when it's all just. Before Sharky and his ass like, you know, like stuff actually happens. Just like the state. But it's just when it's all just... Before Sharky and his ass wipes, yeah.

It's all just making seed cakes for people's birthday. And having multiple breakfasts. That is a very good response, by the way. I think there's a lot of people to agree with you. Who wouldn't want to live in the shire before those dwarves come and start screwing up your life, singing and throwing your dishes around and making you go on quests?

What did Bill Bo do up to that point? He was just kind of independently wealthy. Did he have a job? No, I think he was just independently wealthy, Dan. Okay. All the fictional worlds I can think of are horrifying and I don't really want to live there. I just put their dramatic,

but I guess they're Marvel Universe. Not Blade Runner? Yeah, I don't want to live in Blade Runner. I don't want want to live there. I just put their dramatic, but I guess the Marvel universe. Yeah, I don't want to live in Blade Runner. I don't want to live in Road Warrior. I don't want to live in Call of Cthulhu. Wait, you don't have like weird power fantasy where you're like the Lord of the Wasteland? Oh, for sure, but I don't really want to do that. They call him the accountant. Wasn't that that Ben Affleck movie that just came out recently? Yeah, but, uh, but I mean, come on, dude. If somebody looked at you and then the the bean town bad boy Ben Affleck, I thought about you're the accountant and not him. Good point. Good point. I thought about what superpower I wanted. I thought about what superpower I wanted. I'm not a bad boy. I thought about what superpower I wanted before.

Also, how applicable being down bad boy. And I came up with Wolverine's healing factor, not because. You are such a boring person, Dan. Not because. No, I never have to worry about getting sick. Thanks, Dan. Exactly.

Exactly. That's the thing. Like, it's not because of anything like exciting. It's because like, no one's right is for me. I'm such a hyper-convict, but I'm just like, oh boy, if I could just heal all the time, if I could be at peak physical condition without doing anything, any work,

that would be the greatest thing in the world. Let's hope this works on my feelings too. Oh, all right, too far. Now I'm imagining a PSA with Wolverine where he's bullied and he's like, till you want him, my healing factor doesn't work on her feelings. I mean, the answer for Supervisor is simple. You want to be able to fly and also have extra evisions so you can look at the answers to tests and look at making ladies. How are the answers to tests?

How? I don't know if the teachers got in like a Manila folder. I get right through that shit too. And the teachers went like holding it up in the air while you're taking the test. Flying is so much less useful than a healing factor. What are you talking about? Yeah, I can go anywhere I want dog. I'm not like going behind a metro card. Yeah. Unless it's raining. I mean, yeah, I mean, I guess, I don't know, teleportation would be better than flying. Well, teleportation and mind reading

are always the ones that I would want. Oh, that'll drive you insane, dude. Well, the mind reading, well, the real, and one that would drive you insane is if you were like the purple man, because you'd never know if people really liked you, or if you were just making them like you. That's why the purple man's a good guy, right?

Yep, that's where the term perp comes from. I think this is officially the nerdyest conversation we've ever had on this podcast. And that's saying something, because this is a podcast. Yeah, right off the bat. We're doing a podcast. Let's move to the next letter, shall we? Uh, this is from Jack Lasting with Hell.

I'm going to Dr. Who collage. Collage. I'm working on a Dr. Who adult coloring book. I have an algorithm set up to figure out which is the best volume of Isaac Asimov's foundation series. Yeah. This goes based on my stratomatic baseball league that I've been playing here for many years. Here's now I've taken all the major baseball players and I've randomly given them the powers of fictional characters.

So for instance, does Derek Jeter have the abilities of say, Sandor Klaigain for fighting? Yes. And here Darryl Strawberry has the investigative abilities of her QL Pro. The investigative ability. And of course, the infield is all your various shogas. All right. So Jack, last name withheld, so to talk. Dear Elliot, Steven and the other guy who's named my forgot.

I'm an avid fan of you, Peaches, but alas, my wife is not a listener. She is standable. Yeah, if you listen to this show, we're more on. She's the one responsible for your names and the salutation. And she's the one who never listens to the entire Ziggy pitch, only to make you promise that I'd never make her listen to you again. You got to divorce her. Just kidding, she's uncensible.

Despite all that, she was watching a classic bad movie, Twilight, insisted that I bring a glaring plot hole to your attention. And the movie, all right, heroin, Bella, is trying to learn about, you gotta say like this, Bella. Bella. G-Bella.

Is trying to learn about, baby Bella. Quayute legends. Oh, that's that mushroom everybody's so into nowadays. I have no idea how you pronounce this word But I'm gonna say quayute legends and Native American crowd Well, how would you say this? I don't know quayote it actually looks like it looks more French than Spanish to make. Quiet legends. I don't know. A Native American tribe that became where we'll have to fight vampires. In her search, she takes the internet to explore the legend.

She skips over the first several results only to choose a website featuring a book on the legend. Rather than order online, she opts to head to a local bookstore to pick up the book instead. Oh, yeah, because she's trying to support local independent retailers. That's why I know what I'm talking about. Exactly. I know what you feel on this. The framerathe article says after that.

Oh, okay. Good. Presumably she believes in supporting local businesses. She buys the book. Book court just closed and I'm still kind of unhappy about it. Yeah. She buys the book, takes it home, opens it to a random page and reads the caption of the picture that mentions the cold ones. Rather than read the book, she turns back to the internet, itters Quayote and cold ones,

and continues for research online. So that works sometimes, too. What I'm seeing is that she's able to synthesize multiple streams of data. This is obviously nonsense. So I ask you, dear peaches, two questions. One, what's your favorite no prize, what's your no prize explanation for this insanity? And two, what are your favorite nonsense moments

in a movie's plot? Keep on flopping in the free world, Jack Lasting withheld. So what's your explanation for this insanity? And she's a millennial. She's more comfortable on the internet than she is with dead print. But why did she go get the book if she's just going to turn back to the internet? Maybe she's trying something new. I don't know. Maybe she needs to get out of the house, walk around. She's been looking at the computer for too long.

Mm-hmm. Look, they needed to stretch out the sequence. Uh, I think here's the thing. Sometimes when you're researching, and I'm learning this for my new series, Presidents or People, too, on iTunes and also Audible originals, NAMES on Prime. Sometimes when you're researching something, you don't realize that you've got a key to what you need

until you go somewhere else. Or you're looking for information, you can only find in a book, but then that helps you find something online. I actually was dealing with something like that today as a research piece about William Howard's Taft's time as governor general to Philippines. And there was a quote that I found a partial version

of in a book that I didn't know about till I read it in the book. And then I looked up online to find the original source for it. And I found it. So what I'm saying is multiple streams of information. It's the future of research. Join me, won't you? On a fun and imaginative journey. Research skills. It's research skills, learner with Ellie, K. Lynn, time to improve your research skills. Volume one, basic

research. So I was about to make a joke about how I... It means to search again. So I was about to make a joke about how I was sewn off. And then Ellie just kept fucking talking, dude. This is a group comedy show. So what's your favorite nonsense, man? I don't think so. It's called Elliott and Pals.

Oh man. I... Yeah, what's a nonsense moment for you? I mean, there's a million of them, so it's tough to say. I think my favorite is, it's similar to this in Ringo when they're looking up information on the ghost and they're like, we only have a week to live. Well, let's call it off for the night, getting pretty late, and then they just stop researching for the night, and go have dinner and I guess go to bed.

And I remember watching, being like, you don't have a lot of time left, like burn the candle at both ends, dude. I mean, I don't know, like, I think if you only have a little bit of time left, you're gonna want a delicious dinner. That's true, really safe. I enjoy every elemental life. Yeah.

What do you think, Dan? All I can think of is plot holes, which is not the same thing as like a nonsense moment. Like I've talked about the back to future two plot hole before, so I don't feel like that. Which one is that? It's that, how Max Edrum was not that popular? Biff, once Biff goes back in time to give the sports

almanac to his younger self, he cannot return to the original timeline. Well, that's not a plot hole. It's a time paradox. That's a plot hole because he would be on, and if he returned to the future, he would be returning to the future on the new timeline where Biff is a success. How do you know he didn't do that? Because he comes back with the time machine and that's how they get back to the past. So wait a minute, are you saying that when he hands that sports on the neck,

he should immediately morph into like an older, wealthier version of himself? Oh, backly. Or he should just disappear. Or he died? So, oh, backly. Oh, like, or you should just disappear. What? What he died? Uh, a little thing called, uh, conservation of matter, Dan.

You can't, matter just can't disappear. Nor can it exist at the same space at the same time. A lot of time, cop. Look at the, the, uh, medical research journal time cop. In the case of one, our silver. Yeah. A human being that does the splits will totally avoid lightning. Dan, let's move on to the next letter.

I think having trouble coming up with a real, I think the real plot hole here is that Dan read this letter and is like, this is good. I'll include this in the show, but didn't come up with an example of himself. Nor did he, last time we did this, he told us the questions ahead of time so we could come up with, is that it? Yeah, but you didn't read them. So I was like, well, that experiment didn't work.

We are really good. Oh, it didn't work once. Have you ever heard of try try again? Yeah, the imitation game. All right, we'll do it. I don't remember that movie that well. Well, we didn't crack the German code once. I guess we'll never try.

Mm-hmm. All right. So the last letter of the evening is from Natalie Last Name with Held, Portman. Oh, merchant. And she writes. A Portman merchant. Dear Flophouse. I need to talk to you about something.

Okay. But. Oh, now we know why Dan picked this letter. Lately, I've been a little bit obsessed with staring at perfectly shaped butts due to my career. I'm a wardrobe dresser. Oh, my latest job. I thought you were a butt sculptor. My latest job has me dressing dancers

who more likely or not have the most perfect butts of anyone on the planet. Men, women, all shapes and sizes. I think my obsession started with my love for Gene Kelly. I watched American in Paris nonstop when I was in high school and it's never stopped. A few years ago, I even acclaimed across this Tumblr page dedicated to Gene Kelly's butt.

And if you want to look at it at home, it's genekelly's butt.tumblr.com. I've seen that Tumblr. As you can see, his butt is glorious at every angle. First of all, how can I help myself from staring at butts while it work? I'm afraid that the dancers will eventually catch me staring. Second, what are who possesses your favorite butts in TV or film and why? Dangerous dirt. Dan, it doesn't necessarily have to be wives butts. Elliot, it can be from a theater performance you saw. Oh, okay, well that's different then.

Stuart, you're good. I love the show. We know what it means. We know Stuart's answer. And it's a highlight of every Fortnite. It's gonna be what, Tiffany Shepas? He's on the flopping. I don't know.

I said it at the same time as you. I don't know, that's a good question. No, it's not a good question. It's a terrible question. It's not a good question. It's a terrible question. It's not a good question. It can only lead to trouble. Yeah. I would say the, uh, that male gymnasts arguably have crazier butts.

That male dancers? When you see them, little dudes up on those rings like that, but what the heck, dude? No, male dancers have yeah no I mean I'm the best male wise she's right that Gene Kelly has the best bud probably in history yeah there's a lot definition of calipagian there's uh there's junk in that trunk but it's uh it's well formed it's all high quality merchandise it's junk. Why are you staring at me like this, Dan? I just want some validation. Yeah.

This is, Dan has dedicated his life to the study of butts. He needs, he's so happy to get someone to validate it. A butt-all that is, you will. Yeah. I mean, there's a proctologist, that's basically a butt- I mean, that is someone who actually has dedicated their lives to the study of butts. No, I mean, or is that somebody who studies, that's a proctologist that's basically a bug. I mean, that is someone who actually is dedicated to their lives the same.

No, I mean, or is that somebody who studies? That's just the inside. If you're unwilling or unable, a gamble. Commander Harris is buddy. If, if, if,ino, it's going to have Gene in the name. Uh-huh. Yeah, those are good butts. I'd say I like Tiffany Chepis or Nicole Kidman. Those are good butts and Gene Kelly. Throw them in there. I don't want to be, I don't want to just, I already feel so gross that

we're even. I don't want to stick to my sister gender. that we're even I don't stick to my sister. Uh, you know, wait, what is that? That's not you. You're using my heterosexual. Yes. Thank you. You're using cis gender into correct. No, no, it's just not true.

I mean, like my sister had a sexual. Uh, I don't like. I mean, the gross is gender just means you haven't changed gender. Yes, but but it also let's not get into this on the air. Well, yes, let's discuss it later. I feel gross because Farts come out of butts. Do I feel gross because of that?

No, it's natural. No, but the more I tell people, the more important question is, how do we get her to stop staring at buds? I mean, it sounds like it's part of her job. She's fitting their clothes, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Do you think maybe the role of compelling magazine

in between her eye line and the Puts? I think it's clear what the answer is. She has to start starring at groins. It'll sense the short-term solution. Oh, wow, yeah. I feel like at that point though, you're dealing with potentially greater evil. Yeah, I feel like that's a slippery slope and you're going down. I understand. I think that's the worst thing.

I think that you go down to the back of the knees. Uh-oh. Because then the people are going to be like, um, my butts back here. So Dan, why did we have to end on the butch letter? I don't know. It's because it was literally the, well, because I wanted to separate it out from the Marvel sexual fantasy's letter, because I felt like they were too similar. Dan just turned his chair, chair around and then he put a real talk.

A real talk. A real talk, guys. Oh boy. I just wanted to keep the gross letters, you know. This has been a weird episode. A part of me just. We rarely talked about Nicholas Cage in this game episode. We talked a lot about sex and butts and things.

And I'm uncomfortable about that. Mm-hmm. Not me, baby. Bring it on. This is sex. Bring it on, all our animals. Right. Right.

So what else do we do on this juice cast? Wow, don't say that. It's too late. Now I'm in trouble. This is really the midnight of the soul. I was cool with everything else that was happening. And then, she's cast came out of Stuart's mouth. It's like one and three. Whoa, don't pin this on me.

Don't pin this on me. Don't pin this on me copper. Don't pin the tail on this, don't be. Bang, bang, bang. Oh no, it's a shootout. So what else do we do here, dude? We just talked about wrecking the man I'm going to go over. Oh boy.

We're going to lose all the air. This is the ending the year. Yep. To be fair, kind of everything else is occupied. This is ending the year. Yep. To be fair, kind of everything must have been divided. Kind of a whimper, yeah. A.V. Club was right not to put us on the best of 2016. Oh.

Hot take. Well, let's wrap that bandage back over that wound, Dan. Let's talk about some movies that we actually liked. Kind of like the movie We Watch Tonight. And in fact, I'm gonna recommend a movie that is not super far from the movie We Watch fact, I'm gonna recommend a movie that is not super far from the movie watch tonight. I'm gonna recommend a movie called Heller High Water. About my middle-age arm, Mrs. Heller.

Heller High Water came out this year. It's a movie about two brothers who do to a position they're put by the bank turned to robbing banks. They're like couple of Newton boys. Yep, in West Texas. And they have come up with a scheme that's going to allow them to rob some banks in theory. Hopefully, get away with it. And they're being pursued by a Texas Ranger played by Jeff Bridges. This is a movie that is written by Taylor Sheridan who wrote the script for

Sikario. Another movie I really liked. And I feel like kind of watching this movie almost makes Sikario a better movie. I think it adds a little bit of definition to it because this is a movie that is not very subtle. It's a movie that clearly has an agenda. It's not afraid to play up some of its feelings on the disparity of wealth in America. And it is a movie that treats every scene, whether, even if they're just scenes that are mainly for exposition or to build out the plot, it treats those scenes as if they are interesting little mini stories and every character is given a little bit of extra definition. So it ends up being a very fun movie to watch. Chris Pine gives

one of his best performances and Jeff Bridges is fucking great as always. And it's kind of a reminder as to why he's such a great actor and he's kind of so important to American film scene. And it also highlights a great performance by Ben Foster who... Australian for Ben Beer. Yeah, that's a thing.

Who is great in almost every movie's in, even if it's the remake of 310 to Humma. He's awesome. That is the worst movie ever seen. That is the worst movie I've ever seen. So if you get a chance, go see Watch Heller Highwater. It's great. Dan. Do you have a movie on the TV? Go see watch Heller Highwater. It's great.

Dan. Dan, do you have a movie on me? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything?

Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything?

Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? Do I see anything? I'm gonna recommend this week, because what you're saying. No, hold on, I'm gonna recommend a movie. It's a sequel. It's called Start and Say. Castle free. Okay, go on. I've heard good things. You want to pass on this one? Uh, I didn't.

Dan hasn't been on planes lately, guys. He's still working. Dan hasn't been on a motor transportation, so he hasn't seen any movies. I haven't had a chance to, to see anything else. But I, you know what? I, I did a bunch of runner-up movies last week. Yeah, you wasted a lot of movies.

I wasted a lot of movies. Let's just say that L, the Paul Verovin movie, is definitely worth seeing. It's the movie hinges on a rape. So if that is something that is a deal breaker for you in terms of watching a movie, maybe it's not the movie for you, but it's Isabel Oopair is fantastic in it. It's fantastic, it's directed. It's just, I'm not quite sure what the movie's saying. It's a movie where, is it in English, right?

No, it is not. Still a late time in every day of it. Is this subtitle? No, no subtitles. Was that the problem? It's a subtitles film. It's a movie where the rape victim steadfastly refuses to behave as a victim, whether it be by

seeming victimized or whether it be by seeming victimized or whether it be by seeking revenge in an obvious way, it's a movie where like she actually ends up sort of engaging in a weird sexual cat and mouse with the person who was her rapist. And it's a definite provocation from Verhoeven. Yeah, there's a guilt with his classic subtle Verhoeven touch. It's more subtle than Verhoeven usually is.

I will say that. And it's definitely worth watching. I just... I mean, the guy who made a movie where a Jewish woman goes undercover in Nazi Germany. And there's a scene where she dies her pubes blonde. Yes. That's the mayor of Detroit steps over a dying homeless person in the street. Actually, I don't think he made Robocop too, right?

No, no, he didn't make Robocop. He's not. No, if he had. And you. I mean, Robocop. And that definitely sounds like something that could take place in a very one movie. He's an interesting guy and I'm not quite sure what to make of L, but I also know that it was good and worth watching and worth wrestling with, even if you're not quite sure

what it's saying. And you're not quite sure whether it's saying and you're not quite sure whether it's saying it in a responsible way It's a smart and interesting movie so it'll make you think and it'll make you blink Well, I feel like Paul Verovans one of those filmmakers who is I mean generally will make interesting movies and also the who someone where you are being You are not buying into what he's selling if you take everything at face value in his films Right that you can take things at face values, but you'll be missing what he's actually saying throw it It's up to you to puzzle that out. It's like

Total recall So my movie that I'm gonna recommend is not total recall. It's an old scroll recall. The TV show that just changed the name. They changed the name of the show. Why did they change the name? Because total recall is a terrible name. But it makes it's for fans of total recall.

It's not. It's neither of those things. That's why they changed it. So it's not like one of those vegggie Tales type movie, but instead of Veggies, it's now paratesticals going through the story of Total Reco. It's not a story. It's a total recall, the treasure of the Lost Lamb. So I'm going to recommend a movie now. It's a movie directed by Carol Reed, who directed one of my favorite movies of all time, The Third Man.

And this is one that I actually was not even familiar with until I recently read an old interview with him and it came up and it was really, really good. And I really liked it a lot. It's called Outcast of the Islands. And it's an adaptation of Joseph Conrad's and Outcast of the Islands. Joseph Conrad being one of my favorite authors. It's strange that I had not familiar with this movie.

And yet I wasn't until I heard Red Dimension and it's got an all-star English cast Ralph Richardson, Trevor Howard, Robert Morley, who you may remember as the English guy, the Muppets Meet, when they first landed in England in Great Muppet Caper, George Kaloris. And it's all being a Joseph Conrad story. It's all about life, both on the sea and in tropical Isles Trevor Howard plays imperialism. Yes, and that's the one thing. I don't like about Joseph Conrad is you have to grapple with basically imperialism and his own feelings on that and the one

flaw in this is that there's a fair amount of English actors playing these kind of either they're kind of Sri Lankan or Javanese or some kind of non-white characters. So that's not so great, but what do you even do? It's moving the fifties. And everyone's really good in it. But Trevor Howard plays this kind of narrowed-to-well, black-rored rogue. He is a real steer bike. Romulaboo type. Who has is in Singapore, working as a trader, and has pissed off his boss, and he has to leave. Years ago, he was the protégé of a captain

played by Ralph Richardson, and this captain has a special route only he knows about to this village that he can trade in and where he can exchange things and get valuable things. Everyone wants to know this route because they all want to get to this trading territory, but Ralph Richardson is the only one who knows how to get there. And because years ago he took Trevor Howard under his wing. He decides he's going to try to do it again and try to save this man from his own sins again, and brings him to that village, and everything goes wrong.

Trevor Howard doesn't get along with the guy running the place for the captain, and he falls under the spell of the daughter of a rival village headman, and she essentially drives him into a state of madness, and he betrays everyone he knows, and has to face up to the consequences. And it's a tale of men going insane and fighting tooth and nail for things that don't really

belong to them in the first place. And I really liked it a lot. It was super intense. It reminded me of a kind of a men version of black Narcissus in some ways. And I liked a lot. Outcast of the islands. If you like the third man, give it a try.

How's the zether in it? No, it's not zither music. Fuck that. It's not exactly like the third man. But it is like the third man in that. It looks great and the actors are great and the story is really interesting and there's good dialogue, but it is no zither. It's hard, it's hot and it's not in it. Elite of All We're not in it. It's a hard part. Just a pot and it's not in it. Elite of Alley is not in it.

Yeah, thanks. Because just to get his Karima, Karima Abdul Jibar. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. So three great recommendations. Dan, are we heading to the end of the episode? We are heading, we are hurtling towards them. Dan, I was wondering. We're slouching toward the end of the episode? We are heading, we are hurtling towards the end.

Dan, I was wondering. We're slouching toward the end of this year, guys. I wondered if I can end this episode end this year with a short prayer. Sure. I guess saying saving Christmas last episode and knowing that it's pulling out a gun for some reason. Really? It's cage miss at all.

I felt like I just want to save you things. So, dear Nicholas Cage, this year was really difficult for a lot of people, a lot of our listeners, a lot of people who don't listen to us. And I worry that the future may be difficult too. So, I ask you Nicholas Cage, please use your power from where you sit, high above us in that castle in Germany. To please help us bring the best of this world that we can and to make things a little better

Please give us at least three movies we can watch next year because your output has not been what it once was And it's making it more difficult for us to do two pages this is a year Three Nicholas Cage movies on demand right now. It's a good point You know what Nicholas ste Stewart makes a good point. So forget that I said that last part. But St. Nicholas, please continue to be a beacon for us in these times of misunderstanding. It is inspiring to me that a great artist such as yourself can shoulder past the misunderstanding of others and their misreading of your work and instead continue to do what you do at the level of energy

and enthusiasm you do it at. May we all take an example from this Nicholas Cage and in these future times really push forward with as much energy as we can. This is just as boring as regular church. You know, it reminds me of a reading in Face Off Book 3 verse two. I could eat a peach for hours. Oh, yeah, did he see next? Let us all eat a peach for hours and let us push forward being the best that we can as our Lord Nicholas Cage is the best he can be. May his movies continue to be a symbol of his individuality and belief and personal freedom. Nice. May we all say that's reference. I got it. Oh, man. Oh, man. So thank you for the flop house. I've been damn McCoy.

That's been Elliot Kaylin. And over there Stuart Wellington. Booyoyoying. Good night everyone and happy holidays. Price of my love is not a price that you're willing to. You fry in your tea which you throw in the sea when you see me right by Why so sad no, it's like this Why so serious? King George yep well commissioner Hamilton That's from that's from dark night,

all to the Hamilton dark night, that's what a sport that would be huge. Maximumfund.org Comedy and culture, art is owned. Listener supported. I'm hell, Evelyn. I'm Daniel Raffer. I am Michael Eagle. And we are the hosts of tights and fights. Maximum funds newest podcast dedicated to

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