The Flop House - Ep.#405 - The Legend of the Roller Blade Seven

Episode Date: September 23, 2023

We're having an absolutely legendary Smalltember. First we covered The Legend of the Titanic, and now we're looking into The Legend of the Roller Blade Seven. Apparently they're legendary, but forgive us for being unfamiliar until now. It was made using a system RB7 star/co-writer/producer Scott Shaw dubbed "Zen Filmmaking." According to his wiki, this is a "style of filmmaking where no screenplay and scripts are used in the creation of a movie." We'll see if getting zen delivers a good movie, or whether it's better to... y'know... write things out and plan them ahead of time.If you live in Los Angeles, you can get tix for your choice of TWO live shows at Vidiots on 10/19. And if you prefer watching us from the comfort of home, check out more info about our season of streaming shows, FLOP TV!Due to the ongoing WGA – SAG/AFTRA strikes, we’re hitting pause on current releases, and focusing on some films 90’s kids might remember. If you want to help out crew members and others supported by the entertainment strikes, you can Donate to the Entertainment Community Fund here.The Wikipedia page for The Roller Blade SevenRecommended in this episode:The Dark Backward (1991)Root (board game)American Boy (1978)Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.

On this episode we discuss, the legend of the rollerball. I can't even say the title of that one. Okay. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flop House, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kaelin and I can't wait to tell you later in the show about how you can see our online live shows and our in-person live show in Los Angeles on October 19th at Vitiatesfoundation.org. But I'll tell you about that later in the show. Yeah, do that later.

Right now, let me explain what this is that you're listening to. This is a podcast. Oh, wow. Are you really starting with first principles? Yeah. Have you heard of a thing called really simple syndication? It's abbreviated as RSS. Okay. That's what they say. Keep it really simple syndication, stupid. Normally, and today, we talk about a bad movie. That's what we do. Dan Qualifications McCoy.

Dan qualifications the coy. Just a month of September, which means the in Flapphouse lore, it is small timber or small timber. Thank you. Depending on which sector you belong to, where you worship. And we are in the midst of our 90s flashback, even though these films are in no way I'm sure big enough to be affected

by strike stuff. We are going back in time. And in this case, we're talking about a film called The Legend of the Rollerblade 7. Part of the Rollerblade 7 series of films. Dan is being charitable by calling it a film. Yes. We'll allow it. I stoop pointed out we watched the legend of the Titanic. This is the legend of the world blade seven. We're going through all of the important legend in mythology. Legend of Lost Time is the tale.

The ruler blade seven and how they now which now this movie are the seven. Now this movie. So that's the thing. This movie implies that we do know the legend of the role of played seven because they don't explain anything. And what let's do it will get into summary, but Stu first let's let's talk about the production history of this film. What is that?

So this is the third in a series, correct? Now often the third in a movie series is an original new movie, but in this case, what did they do? It's a it's a mishmash of the first two, right? It combines the content in the first two. Oh, that's what it is. Yeah, it's almost like the way that Shogun Assassin combines various lone wolf and cub movies to a single movie that is then dubbed into English. Yes, they combined footage from the roller blade seven and return of the roller blade seven into legend of the roller blade seven. One would, now I was not aware of this, one would think that if you're taking sort of that kind of

like best of approach with a lot of material to choose from, you would end up with a more sort of fleet and focused movie. Moving on. Yeah. I think you're, I think you're overestimating how much, how much material, how much great material they had to choose from.

Now, I think the easiest way, I think the, before we really get into this movie, we really have to address the fact that it is the creation of what screenwriter star, screenwriter is in quotes, I guess. What Scott Shaw is that? So, so star and martial artist, Scott Shaw and director Donald G. Jackson, best known probably for Hell Comes to Frog Down. Yes, which is a movie that I recall basically enjoying and having a comprehensible plot.

It's, I'd go as far as to call it, Routing Roddy Piper's second best movie. It's very far behind his first best movie, they live, which is great. But you know, it's a movie that has a story, looks like it was made using money to pay for the things. Okay. So, but the key to this to Legend of the Rollerblight 7 is that it uses, it implements Zen filmmaking. Yes. Zen filmmaking, at least according to Wikipedia, is that it is a method of filmmaking where you just film whatever you want and I don't think you have a script.

You do not have a script, no. Yeah, the film is built as it goes. So when we make fun of a movie and you're listening to the episode with your grandma and your grandma is like, oh, but everybody works so hard on this. In this case, you can say, well, they didn't even have a script and they just did whatever they wanted. So I guess they didn't work that hard. They didn't work that hard.

I got it. I also, that's what you tell your grandma. I do often discuss Zen film making with my grandma, and especially the roller blade seven films. She's a diehard. I presume. And I may be wrong. But your grandma was in diehard?

Yeah, yeah, my grandma is Alan Rickman. Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, no, no, no, no, she actually faked her death so that she can go back to being my grandma full time. Oh, okay, that makes it. That's very sweet of her. Yeah. She's like Rick Marannis.

She's like, it's time for me to take care of my family and not be a movie star anymore. I may be wrong in making this up. Alan, Alan Rick Moranis, is the person I've talked to, the combination of Alan Rickman and Rick Moranis, yeah. But like a boba ho-tap version. Exactly. He helped. I may be wrong in presuming this, but I kind of presume that if this is the way the

movie was made, it was probably, maybe I'm wrong, shot in sequence, which is not a thing that movies normally are done. Occasionally a film will be shot in sequence if the director is like, I think it's very important to go through this journey, like, help the actor. Only ET was shot in sequence, Dan. Yeah, wasn't really enough boyhood, not shot in sequence. No, boyhood was shot at a single time. E-T, my understanding is that, because Spubert wanted the relationship

between the child actors and E-T to be as real as possible. Okay. He even kind of replicated that. Well, I bring it up only to say that there are some shots towards the beginning of this movie where I'm like, oh, these are like, like, I have no idea what's going on, but individually, these are some very like, pretty shots that look good

for the budget, are cleverly in that low budget way, using abandoned spaces or weird looking buildings or whatever to create a world. And then as the movie went on, I just felt like it got way easier. So I think it's hard. I think my guess is that some of that is probably the result of it being literally

constructed out of the footage from two other movies. And that maybe the better stuff might be from the first movie and the first stuff from the second movie, but I'm not sure. Also, even in that, that's the movie does it like characters don't make sense from one scene to the next. And they do, there's a good, there's an interesting use of a of Los Angeles area locations, you know, they're very much at using at least an establishing shot of the Griffith Park Observatory at one point. And they're in another place that I think might be Vazquez Rocks, which is a really cool kind of desert area, but could be any.

The L.A. River that you see in a lot of films, those concrete drainage thing you'd recognize is there. Yeah, this thing about in Brickfist at Tiffany's L.A. River, my life is at a mile. So Stuart, you have the uninvailable task of trying to synopsize this film. Let's see how I'm going to do my fucking best, but it was a challenge. The challenges presented me were the fact that this movie was only available on YouTube and the sound mix is bad. It's so sad, right? Yeah. Well, the other challenge is that this is not, I think that we have talked about

it, but not maybe made it expressed this is not a normal. This is probably the least linearly told film we've ever done on the flop house. And it is one that is, it is flake. I feel like Neil brain watches this and he's like, have these guys never seen a movie? Like what's going on in this thing? And but are you going to talk about the cavalcade of celebrity brothers that appear or do you want to introduce them as they show up in the film? Yeah, well, we'll get to all them. So the movie, the movie opens with a woman in a gymnastics body suit named Stella speed.

Which by the way, I fuck up some of these names. You guys please correct me. I had trouble following. I cannot. I don't know who any of the characters in this movie. So we have Stella speed and she has given a samurai sword by father Donaldo, played by director, the director of the movie. And he gives her the sword before she goes into the dangerous wheel zone, which we'll later learn the wheel zone is a place where people can only skateboard and ride around on roller

skates. Yes, by law. By the law. By the law. You will obviously see, even though even though later the police officer character that we see enforcing this rule is herself not on wheels. I mean, you got to admit though that this movie predicted the future, you know, roller bleeding is the major, the only way we get around these days. What's so funny is so later on and so we'll get to major, the only way we get around these days. Yeah. What's so funny is so later on and Stuart will get to this, the villain is time out how

he invented a skateboard. Well, he invented a skateboard and it ruined society as if he was like a nuclear scientist. There's something like that. And anyway, we'll get to it. So, focusing all though, he's like, it's like the Institute of Light or something like that, the Institute of the Master of Light. And he is like, imagine a post-apocalyptic priest character who's like part cowboy, part samurai.

That's kind of the whole aesthetic. Yeah, part hippie. But by post-apocalyptic, I mean, like they're just wearing like pads and stuff. It's not like they actually aged any of their clothing. Okay. It all looks new and they're in the desert a lot, yeah. Yeah, a lot of it looks like a, like a, like a Tom Petty music video. And I think that's probably intentional. So we then have, we have like an evil guy.

I think this is, is this Joe Westivez at this point? Yes. This Joe Westivez as St. Offender. Yep. St. Offender, who's some kind of a bad guy. And he, yeah, he, you would recognize him because he looks like an estimate. And that's it.

He looks like a marketing machine. Yeah. Was not living life as well as he is being martin she. I mean, he looks like what he is, which is martin sheen's less successful brother. Yes. So, he sends his henchman outside of the wheel zone to kidnap a psychic named sister Sparrow. So, his reasoning is so you can get revenge. Again, that's

not 100% clear at this point. He is one of three villains in the movie whose relationship to each other and the goals are not never entirely clear. Yes. So then we see father Tarnado speaking with sister Sparrow. She's a psychic. She wears like a weird little Pope's Miter type thing in a pair of sunglasses. It's like a Pope's Miter with a German cross on the top. Yes, yep. And she sees a vision of a samurai,

a pacifist, and a clown, quite a trinity. And this also sees a plane crash and a naked bride covered in serpents. Wow, my notes early on were much more defined than later on. You'll see. Well, when the movie starts, you're like, okay, this is a weird movie, but like there is some sort of plot that you can almost follow. Like there are things that are being explained and said, and that all it's like the movie dissolves away. Someone has been given a mission.

Yes, yeah. Um, so she after, after this vision, she goes for a walk and is then kidnapped by a ninja. This happens multiple times. So a lot of generic ninjas in this father, Denaldo, some of his hawk good men played by Scott Shaw who shows up to the Griffith Park Observatory and then walks around for a while. A long time. He'd as to describe him, he looks again like, like some weird fantasy where Tom Petty is

in a post-apocalyptic movie. That would never happen in the real world, right? So he is a Hawk Goodman, is Samurai warrior who rides around on a motorcycle like a real street Samurai. And so the trivia for this movie claimed that this actor is like one of the only like rated people to know this Korean martial art or whatever. It feels like trivia written by him, because I will say that throughout the movie, he does not seem to be particularly

adept at martial arts necessarily. I mean, he kicks higher than I could, that's for sure. But that's what I'll say for him. He's the people challenging him, I feel like, are not really testing any skills. But he has written a number of books about Taekwondo. Oh, cool. Okay. So he, Father D'Naldo wants him to go rescue Sister Sparrow, who is Hawks actual sisters. Her name is Sparrow Goodman. They almost make a joke about that. They

kind of make a joke about how she's both his sister and a sister like a nun. For his trouble, he promised a bride for doing this. And then Hawke leaves, rides his motorcycle to the wheel zone where he then has to leave his motorcycle because though it's a wheel zone, motorcycle, not that kind of wheel. No, no, no. And then he leaves his motorcycle and then it just disappears. Yeah. Motorcycle disappears. Magic motorcycle.

It's like, it's like the ZZ Top Car. There's a, yeah. Oh, man. See, I get a watch now and I have a ZZ Top video. And you can do that on YouTube. Yeah, you have the option. Yeah, I can just do that whenever. You know how?

We do live the best of all possible worlds. And that's one. And And that only rubric. We have now we have kind of a series of character introductions with their, with their credit, like who the actor is. The first one, of course, was I thought of Dan McCoy immediately, because it is Ronda Sheer. I was so excited. I had no idea that Ronda Shear was in this movie before starting it, and I was like, what? I mean, the funny thing about this movie, as to or suggests, and I think we should go into more detail,

is like as various characters are introduced, they get a big credits, title card. They get a full screen title card that says the name of a character. Or just that character actually, right? It's the way it's the actor. It's something they kind of didn't in old silent films, where they would have the character name and the actor's name when the character was introduced, but here they just show the

actor's name. Right, and this continues through like most of the movie and it's funny. Like I really feel like it, it comes across like they're like, can you believe we got someone with a name you would recognize? Not like a star, none of these people are big, but like, hey, look, we got Rhonda Sheer to be in this movie. And here she is. And her presence also meant that this movie was shown on USA up the all night, right?

I don't. Yes, I believe so. I mean, let's explain for the audience for anyone who is hard to imagine anyone in the audience doesn't know who Rhonda Sheer is. But Dan, can you explain for anyone who's not as up on 90s late night soft core with the nudity cut out broadcasting as we are? For anyone who was not a pubescent boy in the late 80s, early 90s. Yes.

Ronda Sheer, best known for hosting USA Up All Night, which one of the two hosts Gilbert Godfried also hosted it. I believe he was on Fridays and she was on Saturdays or something, but this was a very similar energy from the two of them. This was a way of repackaging trashy movies for late night viewing in the same way that like you would have like vampire or something do like horror movies, but these like this would be Ronda Sheer, you know, lounging about in lingerie or something introducing, you know, you know, that's long, right? Or lounging or whatever.

Like a lot of it is. So she would show these like sex comedies with all the actual nudity cut out, but there would still be, you know, risky content, but yeah, yeah, there's a lot of, a lot of thongs. It would be a lot of thongs and bikinis. Yeah. And this obviously made a huge impression on me. And last I checked in on Ronda Shire, she was running a lingerie company. That was her late career turn. So well, in this movie, she plays officer skates, a police officer in the wheel zone. Officer Darrell skates. Officer Darrell skates.

And she is shaking down a guy who looks kind of like a greaser type character, like a test savory cartoon. It's heavily hinted that he is the big bopper. And that's the plane crash because later he's looking for Buddy Holly. And someone warns him, don't get on a plane because of a coin flip. So he's supposed to put at first, I was like, Oh, this is one of the millions of men who think Elvis is super cool. And once we have us and then it's like, Oh, no, wait, he's supposed to be the big bopper. What a weird, what a weird place.

He's there to bring some six three samurai flavor to everything. I guess. Yeah. Okay. So Hawk is then is traveling through the wheel zone. He is on foot. He does not have roller skates and he is surrounded by a roller blade gang, but he kills them all quite easily with a samurai sword. He tracks down Sister Sparrow and her, she has a, a group of like gang, like wasteland warrior captors. And they have like a brief fight that is stretched out because almost every like kick or knife throw or knife trick is repeated like four times, four

to five times. Literally the exact footage. Slow motion. Different takes of the same thing. At one point, Hawk throws his sister a knife, which she catches in her teeth, and then she catches the butt of the knife in her teeth and then uses that knife to slash one of her captors, throats. But in contact, I mean, it looks like she's just kind of like vaguely jabbing towards someone who's next.

Yeah. And, yeah, I think sometimes these things are repeated up to six times. Like, I would not be surprised if you took out all the reused footage in this movie. The movie was one third as long. Oh, for sure. And I mean, the fact is the whole movie is reused footage too. I don't know, there's any new footage in it. But yeah, you're right.

There's a lot. There's a seat. Let's do it or get to it. There's a sequence at the very end where you see characters get into a car several different times over and over again. So he, but then Hawk, before he can save Sister Sparrow, Hawk is knocked down by a roller blading metal menitard ninja guy who we will be introduced later. And we talked to him.

The, what did we take to the scene? We are later introducing this character as the Fuku Sin Ninja. And he gets knocked out. And then the bad guys just take the sister away. Hawk visits a psychic played by Karen Black, named Tarot, who he does psychedelics with her. And they have a romantic vision quest and he learns how to rollerblade.

Yeah, she gets one of the big. That's when he's learning how to rollerblade, I say, okay. I think it's one of the big credits and she's the, you know, like, look, I love Ronda Sheer. But Karen Black is the one actual, like, actor of note in this. She's the only Academy of Ward nominee in the entire. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know, you know, like she must have gotten, you know, a nice little payday to spend one day feeding mushrooms to. I'm not so sure if it was such a nice little bit.

I think Karen Black is kind of a, it was, I mean, she's, she's since passed, but was kind of a, not an out of the ordinary person. No, you were saying that she's the only Academy of Ward nominee. I was wondering if John Cazale was in this, John. I don't think that was one of his five movies. No, he was only in movies that were nominated for best picture. So I don't know if, wait, wait, was this nominated for best picture? Let me hold on. Let me check.

Let me look at the Academy website. Let me start at the first year of the academy words and move forward. No, just do a fine. I'm not seeing it for 1928, 1929. No, 1929. But what if a movie about roller blades from like the 50s, one? I got a chance. That's actually really cool.

No, legend of the roller blade seven was not nominated for best picture. It turns out. Okay, that's weird. Okay. So, wait, let me double check where I'm at. Okay. Doesn't matter. Meanwhile, sister Sparrow is been captured. She is being tormented and forced to dance. Uh-huh. Okay. The big bopper character who we saw earlier has a chat with a, like, this oracle character who's sitting out on a like a beach chair in the desert

played by we get another credit like Dan Shroud. This is Don Stroud. Don Stroud, my mistake. Yeah. I don't know this actor's work. I don't think so maybe I wasn't as excited to see his name. I mean, he's been in lots and lots of things, you know. Okay. I love this convention, by the way, of sort of dystopian action movies where like, there just be like vast expanses of desert all around. And then there's just like people sort of just standing around and I'm like, like, where do you live? Here, are you just waiting here for the protagonist to wander by. What's going on?

Later he gets a lifeguard chair, right? Yeah. He gets a lifeguard chair. And a lot of these sequences are shot kind of like the love montage from Kula's ice where vanilla ice is running around the like, like partially built home with that girl, or like riding these motorcycle out in the desert. That's what remind me of. I'm just talking about cinema here, guys.

I mean, I saw one time, I'm not as film-time-time, okay. I guess I'm more of a sin-a-fi. So okay, now we got another big star coming up. We have Frank Stallone playing the Black Knight. Yeah, this is the other celebrity brother, Frank. The Black Knight is one of the villain characters. He seems to exist in this weird world where he can like draw people into his realm. Yeah, there's something kind of like David Lynch about this where he's like an evil force

that inhabits some other underworlds, but can, yeah, people can end up there. But we never see him anywhere else. I'm sure there's nothing to do with the fact that a lot of these people are probably available for a day. But, you know, so I think Joe Listivis is the only one of these kind of lures middle name people that appears more than one location in the film. Oh, interesting. Yeah.

So, yeah, the black knight has a face off with hawk. It's unclear to me whether not this takes place currently or in the past. I don't think it matters. Yeah, I thought it was a flashback, but I'm not sure. The black knight offers hawk power, but hawk rejects him saying that he, you know, he'll, he'll, what, like side with the forces of like heart and light or something. Yeah. Classics, legend of the role played seven stuff.

This is this is the hero of the role played seven is always tempted and then rejects that temptation. Uh, that's what Joseph Campbell said. There's some. So this movie has an interesting relationship with, uh, time and continuity because throughout we're seeing hawk. That's one way to put it. Yeah.

We're seeing hawk as if he's never been to the wheel zone before. But the first time we meet him in the movie, isn't he like, oh, the last time I went to the wheel zone, I got on it. It was no good. So it's a big payday. I was very confused about what was happening

when in this movie. Luckily, it doesn't matter. Not a big matters. So Hawke is now traveling on one of those bear in LA rivers and comes across a clown warrior in Kabuki makeup. Yeah. They have very long, like not really a fight, but like a lot of posturing.

All the fights mainly seem like a lot of like slow movement and posturing. And they, the camera like whips around them. And then they are attacked by like a gang and then they team up and fight together where it first goes. This is also confusing to me because there's no dialogue during any of this. So I was like, wait, so now they're friends. I don't, I don't, yeah. And then they, they team up with Stella Speed, the girl in the gymnastics outfit from earlier. Now, when you say gymnastics outfit, we should make it clear. This is a redly

attard with a thong back and much of the movie is made up of shots from behind slightly below of her butt as she is rollerblading around. Yes, yeah, yeah. That's that was the part Dan said. He thought was shot well. Yeah. I mean, it certainly has a point of interest in the movie that has few. Nope. No, you're right. But it hints at the movie gets like gross at a certain point. Like it becomes, you know, but it's when she's getting her little bottom whipped. Yeah, but she's a whipped by another thong wearing female warrior.

And it's a, it's a, this, there's something about that. Ellie, just because that's what it's like in the post-op pocket lactic feature and it's being presented plainly doesn't mean that the director agrees with what's happening on screen that's very true that's right I shouldn't right I shouldn't confuse the message of the film with the action of the film yeah the message is clearly anti-wipping a button on the long yes it's happening doesn't mean the director endorses it. It's just like, it's just like wolf of wall street. You don't know, it does not are proving of all this. Yeah, yeah, sure.

Okay, so our lead trees, Steven Spielberg was like, I don't want aliens to get kidnapped by the government. Hey, hey, or for ETs butt to be whipped. I mean, that was a deleted scene, but he's, he's built to prevent. I mean, it doesn't really have much of a butt. It's lack of an evident but really helps that. Yeah. If you want to follow that thing, you need like hockey stickers.

I mean, you have to get it from below is the other thing. And the feet are right there. So I think you have to assume that as humans evolved to a point to make it easier to defend against buttwipin, we will appear more and more like ET with an actual bottom, a flat actual bottom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, like a elder thing or something. Guys, how does ET, poop? Dan? Well, he's not that regular, but I mean, as he's gotten older, but the actual bowel movements are, you know, pretty firm and well shaped. And not exactly what I was asking you. But okay, good enough.

She's out. He has two cloacus one under each arm. Um. So the only expels when he's frightened. Like a squid. What an amazing way to ruin that movie is if it was like so heartbreaking and so touching. But unfortunately, every time he's surprised, he just shoots shit out of his, out of his armpits.

It's like Steven, we got to talk to you. The movie is nearly perfect. We think this has the potential to be the highest roasting film all the time. Steven goes, yeah, because of the poop pit. And they're like, that's the one thing we wanted to talk to you about. He's like, you sure? Because I tested really well with, with me. It's like, just because I'm presenting an alien life form

scientifically correctly. Doesn't mean I endorse what is happening on this piece. Look, I talked to all the xenobiologists, and they said, if he's gonna have that flat bottom, which you were okay with, he's gonna need a place to expel his feces, and it's gonna happen when he's scared. Many life forms do this.

You know what, you can convince the Stephen. And then when Stephen stuff, they're like, let's just, let's just cut those parts. Let's just do, let's just cut those when he's, while he's napping. And they, he was taking a nap for the edit bay and they tiptoed in and just manually cut that stuff. Yeah. So speaking of cutting, we have Hawk and the Kabuki clown and Stella speed and they are traveling together. Our Holy Trinity has finally traveled together and they get in a fight with some bondage people.

That's just what I wrote down. It's like they're like a weird bond. Like a weird bond. I would forgive you if this gets pretty vague. Sure. Don't worry. And then we are, once again, the Fuku sign ninja shows up this time with a title card. And that is a all metal rollerblading ninja that looks kind of like a menitare.

They the fetish couple run away. I will something I want to mention. Stella speed. She turned out she did okay for herself. She's a multiple Emmy winner as a producer for the amazing race. So don't worry. She didn't. That's right. She escaped the world of Zenfilm making at some point. So Hawke knocks out the Metal Ninja pretty easily and they all escape. And after they leave the Fu Hussain Ninja, the Metal Ninja is reanimated by the henchman of Pharaoh, who is a villain. We haven't really talked about. Pharaoh is a, is a, like an older man who is pushed around in a wheelchair. He has to be in a wheelchair because he had some kind of a skateboarding accident and he

has to wear a mask, which he takes off other time. He has to wear the mask. When he's outside. He has to wear it whenever he's outside, coming. It's too sunny. He has to wear leather. It's like a leather faith face mask. His, his mishap with a skateboard has left him vulnerable to the harsh

rays of the sun in a way that I can only imagine. I don't, and this is this character where he has these long monologues about, I just wanted people to enjoy the skateboard. I never knew what would happen as if the downfall society is because of the invention of the skateboard. Yeah, it's pretty great. And I would like to take a moment to, and also to point out Marty McFly invented the skateboard when he went back in time. That's true, that's true. It's of the skateboard. Yeah, it's pretty great. And I would like to take a moment to point out Marty McFly invented the skateboard when he went back in time.

That's true. Yeah, it's in the bus. Just like he invented a rock and roll. I just wanted to reassure the audience that this is a movie that exists and not sort of a late April Fool's prank we're playing or a collective hallucination we had. Yeah, it's all on YouTube. It's proof. It's all there. Don't watch it. It's a waste of your. Yeah, it's all on YouTube. It's proof. It's all there.

Don't watch it. It's a waste of your time, but it's there. Okay. So there now, there are heroes are also joined by this rollerblading banjo player who wears a mask on the top hat and goggles. And he was the most amazing part of the movie to me where I was like this movie invented the do-for-you before George Miller invented Fear Road. Because he's on wheels, he's got a mask on, he's playing a stringed instrument.

I was like, this movie is ahead of its time, you know, and it's actually great. And I had the same thought. Yeah. If it inspired the greatest character in the history of cinema, then, you know. I mean, for me, I was like, I hate this guy and I hate his banjo. And I like him. And I like him. And I like him. And I like him. And I like him. And I likejo. And remind you of what derailed Steve Martin from big

thing. And luckily he's not around for long because a different injury shows up. Now Steve Martin still hears only murders in the building. It's a huge show. I mean, he's, you know, a late career. Meryl Streep is on the season. He's funny and the Martin Short show that not only murders in the building. They're also called Martin Short. that, uh, the, not only murder's in the building, but also we call the Martin Short. No, the little deterring thing that they did together. Oh, yeah. The touring test they took to see if they were computers or not.

Yeah, turns out, Martin Short is. See Martin isn't. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. So a different injury surprise them. He kills the banjo player and injures the clown. And then the, and then Stella speed tries to run for

it, but it's chased. Hawke has a samurai duel with one of the ninjas that's really boring and slow. And then he he gets in a fight with sister sparrows, captors and leaves like ends up killing them. And it seems like she dies. Is this a vision? Is it a dream? I can't really tell.

And then Hawk teaches Stella Speed, how to use a sword, which is at odds with her being a pacifist. So we have a long sequence of them doing Kata with their samurai swords. Then we get a, then they like start running around, we get a title card that says, back on the road, they ride around and battle some more ninjas.

This all takes a long time. You know what I mean? I know what I mean. And in between this stuff, there's like, Pharaoh is being pushed around and will do like monologues. That I couldn't really hear because the sound was bad. Yeah, it's hard to make out some of what he's saying.

It's all more stuff about the world he created for the most part and him asking things of his sidekick, whose name is Stealth. And he'll always be like, that's still. That's actually a cool character. Stealth take me for a push. Stealth is it sunny outside, but it's a funny thing to call somebody. Yeah, he looks like he looks like a variant storm shadow actually. Yeah, yeah, which is cool because that's

a, because that's like an evil version of snake eyes who is also cool. But this movie for, for this whole chunk vast, vast swathes of it as an eight person someone who's raised in England might say if they're on a podcast American now, that are it's just them either riding around on roller blades through the same stretches of desert or them having these slow motion kind of not really choreographed fights. And, oh, wow, it is, it really feels trying. It's really difficult to get through. At a certain point, I'm sure we'll get to it or maybe we're into it right now. I can't really place anything that happens. And we're not like characters just start dying one by one. Like a lot of characters just and or appearing in new locations. And it's like, I don't know how they got there. It's a call.

It's it's list of characters that I don't know who they are, what they're doing. From his they're all important. Yeah. So they ride around the confront Pharaoh in his wheelchair. But then his goon stealth shows up carrying an oozy, which I mean, that's more that's better than a samurai sword. Yeah. Kabuki runs off. But it has less honor. That's true.

It does. Yeah. Kabuki runs off and is chased by a new warrior who carries two axes and they get in a fight and the axe warrior wins wins leaving Kabuki dead. Oh no. Then a a shaman type character shows up and tries to revive Kabuki, but then is whisked away through I'm guessing magic to have a conversation with the black knight who is telling her that I don't know something about darkness and she's talking about lightness. And then Stella speed is captured by Faro's goons and her bottom gets whipped at this point by another thong clad evil character.

This was for me. This was very much the needy of the film. This was the one part where it went from I'm not enjoying this because it's boring to, I'm not enjoying this really because I'm just, this is unpleasant to me. Yeah. Hawk is also captured and he is put on trial by Pharaoh in front of Pharaoh's united skates of America, which I kind of like that. I'm like, I took us a while, but we got there. It's such a shaggy dog story of a movie to get to that one play on words. And I'm like, you should have started with this. Like, if you, if this was more in the spirit of a future where it was called the United Skates of America and everything was rollerblade based, I'd be like, you know what movie?

Yes, make that movie, yeah. Okay, so there's a lot of flashing lights, hawk, and stellar art put in a movie. Yeah, hawk and stellar art put in a, in a cage together. And then we see a lot of shots of like threatening looking villains and morph lashing lights and father Denaldo and the black knight have some kind of a interaction. Everybody's trying to like threaten them. And then all of a sudden, we cut to a wedding where father Denaldo is giving us a wild sermon about how time is different and like you shouldn't let time control. You need to control time.

That time everyone in this time exists, but it's not a real thing and it's not visible. Did you, I may have gone into a Zen trance while during the summary. Did you talk about the part where is it Stella speed or is it the sister sparrow who's being, who's sitting in a chair as snakes are being dropped on her? It's just a sparrow. Like because it actually, because we saw a vision of it earlier, but now we see it happening I guess for real, but it's it again, it's, it just, it feels like the movie at some point. It's like the movie was like, I'm loving this stuff with the rollerblading and then checked it's watching

was like, oh shit, we gotta wrap this up. Like, hurry, get through the plot, get through these things. And so just throwing events at you, you know. So he's, the priest is marrying Hawk and Alice. I think is the name is the name. I, you could have tell me that any of the characters are named anything and I would believe you.

And then they, they get onto a motorcycle. Many times. Many times, like a hundred times. And when I say many, many takes of them getting on a motorcycle one after the other. Different angles, it's a set, yeah. So they kind of like right off into the sunset on his motorcycle, but then Stella's speed is in a car being driven

by a St. Offender played by Joe S. Davis. And we see that car pull out multiple times. We see the car pull out multiple times and they pull up next to them on the highway. Stella pulls out a oozee or a pistol or something. And then we see Hawk and his bride have crashed and they're in the dirt. We don't actually see anyone get shot.

No. And then. But the bride is apparently dead based on. Seems to be dead's reaction upon. And what's your, what's your best guess as to why Stella speed did this? She was, her brain was corrupted by a skateboard. She was like, if I can't have you hawk, no one can. Because this is, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I question if I had understood which characters were which because it's it's hawk, it's a bunch of dudes and except for except and mostly just blonde women who look pretty similar

are playing each of most of the other parts. And so I was like, wait, is this a character that I thought was a different character? It's very hard to tell them apart. Well, because the bride character, I think, is a new completely new character. That confused me. I thought at first that he was marrying Stella speed or possibly his sister. Yes, that's what I was marrying Stella Speed or possibly his sister. Yes, that's what I was assuming. And so Hawk stands up. He like does like a little, well, I think he does like a little kata thing with his

samurai sword. Uh-huh. And then he, then he wanders off and then his bride, her body disappears. And then I think his motorcycle disappears and then that's the movie. That's the end of the movie. Um, guys, who were the roller blades seven? That's a very complicated question that I don't know if we can answer. I'm guessing Hawk is one of them.

Okay. So we have Hawk Stella speed. We have Kabuki, so that's three. Yeah. Um, there's, um, I mean, maybe some of the bad guys were part of the blade seven. Yeah, maybe the of the bad guys, part of the play had seven. Yeah, maybe the food was fine in it. And grumpy. Yeah, dopey, yeah, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy.

Oh, sloth. Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt's in seven, dude. Yeah, of course. So, you're, that's the sloth you're talking about. I thought you're doing goonies. He thought you meant the animal. So on the poster for the roller blade seven, it shows

Hawk, and then on either side of him are three women with roller blades. And I only recognize Stella speed and the Kabuki clown lady. And maybe in the first movie, there's seven, like, good guy warriors. Like it's, this is the role of a four in this case is what you're saying. I mean, if anything, it's the roller blades three, because I don't know, because it's not like this, because sister Sparrow is not really on roller blades, right? So. Yeah. And they specifically only mention a trio of heroes, but it's, it's okay. It's fine. I mean, they're trying to cash in on the very valuable roller blade seven franchise name. Yeah. Well, they're trying to cash in on return of the Cacac seven, of course.

John sales picture. His original script, they were all on rollerblades. That's true. That was kind of forward these rollerblades. He was inspired by how when they made the magnificent seven, they're like, you know what? Kurosawa couldn't afford rollerblades for his samurai. So in the western version we're going to do rollerblades. We have a Hollywood budget. We can do the rollerblades. So they did the rollerblades and then it just didn't go over a while test audience. So they had to digitally remove the rollerblades and all the scenes and add horses under them.

Exactly. And then there was the return of the Magnificent Seven in which they had to digitally remove that poop shot out of the armpits of each of the cowboys when they got surprised. But it's the only thing that made sense. The only thing that made sense. Yeah. Glad that you explained the way I called back. Yeah. They had to, they had just in case this section is cut out for say as a clip, I want to make sure people know that that is not

a random reference. But that was the, but that was the earliest digital technology was removing those roller blades and then inserting horses in the magnificent seven. Yeah. So that was the whole movie. It's, I thought I did an okay job. You did a great job. I kept it tight because you know what? Honestly, so much of this movie is just reuse footage and there's almost no dialogue and lots of, like, the music that you'd probably hear in a coffee shop that was near Scotch Shaw's house.

Well, the last sequence after they get married, there's a long rock song about whatever happened to America, whatever happened to the, it's the pride of the Yankees. And like, I didn't even hear that part. Oh, he didn't even use this long song. Maybe I wonder if we saw different YouTube videos with different soundtracks possible. All right, man, that's awesome. That's how spider versus different. But it's a long song that feels like it's being performed by like a band that would play

at a local bar. And, but it's all about whatever happened to America, someone, a guy went to war. He came in and raised a family. And now what happened to that promise? And it's a very, not like born in the USA. Yeah. I mean, like it was like a, not rip off of born in the USA. Yeah.

And it's like a born in the USA if it doesn't actually, is not actually taking a harsh look at, you know, like, Patriotism. It felt like it was the opposite. It feels like it is the, maybe it's the conservative response to born in the USA, where it's like, why don't we, we love this country anymore. Yeah. It's like the song version of the easy writer sequel. Yes, exactly.

And so I'm, I'm curious to you guys didn't hear that song because that played over the entire ending of the movie. I mean, I did. I probably heard it. I just wasn't. Yeah. You were just, you were so busy trying to figure out the movies for the notes that whereas I who, free of having to take notes on the summary of this movie, I felt very free to,

to experience it in my own way. Here's the open guys. I had a big whiteboard that had all the different characters and plot threads drawn out like I was watching Primer and trying to understand it. Yeah. Here's my, so guys, here's, here's my question. The same director without some Shaw. He also made a movie called Rollerblade Warriors taken by force from 1989. Here's the description I have to be in the future. In the, in the future, a warrior non-unerskates must rescue a seer who is to be sacrificed

by a band of mutants. And it makes me wonder, is that the like coherent version of this movie? Does that sound like this movie, but were they able to do it in a way with a story made at any sense at all? I wasn't Zen filmmaking. I thought you were going to be like, is that this guy's fetish? People on the floor. That's very possible.

That's very possible. He heard the song Sex on Wheels and he was like, yeah, yes, yeah. He saw Boogie Knight and he's like, oh, I could have just put this in a normal movie. Let's do our final judgments whether this is a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie we kind of like, like I said, I have. I always love, I always love Dan's, like troubled Si after he announces what the ratings are. Well, like I said, early in the movie, I had a certain amount of like, you know, I had hopes that it would have

and you- Ronda's sheer size to hoose. Ronda's sheer size, but also like, the way that it was kind of making good use of its no budget and in a way that I appreciate with these kind of like post-apocalyptic, weird movies, low budget films that you see.

I then hope was dashed as it went along and nothing made any sense at all. I'd say it's a bad, bad movie with the caveat that like if this was a video installation that ran on the loop and it was just like a Fantasia on the idea of low budget post-apocalyptic movies, I would enjoy stopping by watching a little bit of it and moving on to the next exhibit.

Yeah, this is, well, this, this is the kind of movie that they would play. Like I could see them playing this at the bar, Freddy's in Brooklyn, where one of the, one of the owners would like cut together these weird little video reels. And this feels like that, like this sort of thing where you're like, oh, it doesn't make sense, but it looks weird and I'm drinking. Yeah.

I would say, yeah, I can't say it's necessarily a good bad movie because I don't think it's fun to watch. And it wouldn't necessarily be fun to watch with other people. It like, you could put it on in the background at a party. Yes. But not something like you would want to watch to get any pleasure out of. So I'll, I guess I'll say bad. Yeah, I think I'm also going to say bad bad and I had not, I had not thought of the idea of using it as kind of like

not thought of the idea of using it as kind of like atmospheric wallpaper at an event, but I think that's the best way to use it. Dan, I appreciate that you thought of like a silver lining way to use what is objectively a piece of garbage, just like objectively something that is barely a movie. And the idea, I feel like if anything maybe disproves the philosophy or concept of Zenfilm making, it is this product of that, of that. Although maybe the original Rollerblade 7's really good, maybe it really holds together, maybe it's really fun, maybe it's exciting, maybe it has a kind of trippy, weird vibe that really takes you to an interesting place, probably not judging by this, probably

not. But yeah. You know what? Let us move on now. Please out of the out of the wasteland. But Stuart, you did a great job. I'm going to I want to give you a big round of applause. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody write your local congressman and tell him that Stuart did a great job. Did a great job summarizing the legend of the roller blades. And they should drop all other business until then. You know what might help you enjoy something like legend of the rollerblade seven if I don't

know, a judge sentences you to watch it as you know first for littering or something I don't know is micro dosing. Our share today is sponsored by microdose chemis microdose chemis deliver perfect entry level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of

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They allow a little more mental flexibility in my life. I've enjoyed them. If you want to try them, microdose is available nationwide. To learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code flop. That's F-L-O-P to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description, but again, that is microdose.com code flop. We're also today sponsored by Squarespace.

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And we also have a jumbo tron to read today and this message is for Mickey and it's from Rob and it says happy birthday Mickey. Congratulations on your upcoming gender affirming surgery. I and the entire family love and support you in everything you do. Thank you for the amazing conversations about all things movies, as well as your moving role play in everything I DM.

It is a joy being your brother and sharing passions like the flop house. Thank you. What a sweet message. That's very sweet. That's very nice. Now to a slightly less sweet message because it's all about our own mercantile economic stuff.

Sweet to us. Hey, we do this monthly thing. It's called Flot TV. It's usually, oh, hey, Dan, it's not that we do this monthly thing. It's usually the first Saturday of each month. In fact, I think each of the upcoming episodes is the first Saturday. We don't have to, we don't have to just claim it. No cast, the one that is not worth it.

We passed the one that it wasn't. And where we do a roughly one hour TV version of the Flop House podcast, where we're talking about movies that we have never covered on the podcast before. We have two great episodes so far, Beast Master II and Cool World. All great movies. We've got another one coming up on October 7th.

That's right, October 7th at 9 p.m. Eastern 6 p.m. Pacific. It's an all-American meat double feature. I'm calling it hot dog the movie and hamburger the motion picture to movies that I'm really I'm going to find out they're not just about making those things and I'm going to be relatively disappointed. But we'll see. I know for a fact that one of them is not. Yeah, one of them I think is a skiing movie, right? Yeah, which is the other is one. The other is legit about the food item. Let's see which. Let's let's find out which one it is. So if you want to see those shows, they're really fun. They're super great. It's like watching a TV show. It usually fits into like a normal programming schedule timeslot in case you have other things you want to do around those

times. You want to see the inside of our homes? Yeah. Well, I mean, except for my two of ours, all it puts up a virtual background. Just because the mind of the man of mystery, I don't really have a good home background. But you want to see it, go to theflophouse.simpletext.com. Again, that's theflophouse.simpletext.com where you can buy tickets, you can buy individual tickets, you can buy a season pass. And you're like, hey, it's a six episode season. two episodes have gone by, why should I get the season pass? Uh-oh, because the recordings of those episodes will stay up through the length of the series. So if you missed one of our episodes, that's totally great. You can still watch them. If you can't

watch the show live, that's totally great. You can watch the recording later. So that's the flop TV at theflophouse.simpletics.com. You get your tickets and you get instructions on how to watch the show. But hey guys, this is another show we're doing. It's not just on your computer. It's, in fact, it's not on your computer at all. It's in a real room in real life with real people. And they're going to stay.

Deep space. Yeah. Ironically, because it's not about hot dog, the movie or hamburger, motion picture. This is the actual meat space on October 19th. That's a Thursday night here in Los Angeles at Videots, the Videots movie theater. We're going to be doing two original shows. That's right, two all new shows at 6 p.m. We're going to be talking about speed two, cruise control, and at 8.45 p.m.

we're going to be talking about three men and a baby. And three men and a baby is going to it's gonna feature a certain special someone. It's gonna join us as a special guest. Is it Willem DeFoe covered in leeches? You ruined the surprise yet again. I don't even know what that's referencing. It just seems like a thing to say. A favorite flop house guest is gonna be joining us again.

A guest, but you could also say a flop house star of the show, wink, wink, wink. I am so excited to do these shows because, you know, we're not, I'm not writing for TV right now. I got no excuse to go to LA. I'm going to get to go to LA. I'm going to see my friend, Elliot Kalin. I'm going to see my friend, unnamed special guest, and it's going to be great. So that's all, and Stuart's going to be there too. October 9th to dance these people. October 19th, tickets are available at vidgetsfoundation.org and that's vidgetsfoundation.org. Two different shows.

We're going to be doing presentations. We're going to talk about the movie. We'll take questions from the audience. It's like an old-fashioned, classic, traditional, flop-house live show. And it's a double feature, you know, two and one. You need separate tickets for each one, though. So it's gonna be really fun. I'm looking forward to it too.

Videots is a great space. It's got a great video store attached to it. And I'm so excited to be doing something through them and with them. And that's the extent of our promotions for this episode. If you need a laugh and you're on the go try STO PPO DCASTI. Hmm. Are you trying to put the name of the podcast there? Yeah, I'm trying to spell it, but it's tricky.

Let me give it a try. Okay. If you need a laugh and you're on the go call STO PPPIDI will never fit. No, it will. Let me try. If you need a laugh and you're on the go, try STOPPPDCOO. Ah, we are so close. Stop podcasting yourself. A podcast for MaximumFun.org.

If you need a laugh and you're on the go. I'm if you wide-way the host of Maximum Film. I'm a Lodzoderaldy, also the host of Maximum Film. Go. We answer your film questions. It's like the maximum amount of film talk. That's why we call it maximum film. Maximum film. Maximum film. Maximum film, the movie podcast, that's not just a bunch of straight white guys,

new episodes weekly on maximumfun.org. Dan, what do we do next? We just rollerblade off into the wasteland. Well, not quite yet. What we're gonna do is we're going to answer some letters from listeners like you, like you, especially if you wrote these letters, the first one, pardon me, I'm burping up a storm. The first one is. What if that was, what if Dan can't pitch movies during the strike, but afterwards burp storm is a pretty

good concept to pitch. There's a storm of burps hitting the city. Certainly. At the same time that a prisoner is being transferred a decade or two back, sci-fi would have snapped that up right? Oh, for sure. Yeah. There goes my knee again. It must be a burp storm coming. A general yelling at a scientist, how far away is the burp storm?

Did that storm eat some barbecue? The only way to defeat it is with a counter failing burp storm operating at opposite speeds in the opposite direction. Throw some alchemy to that storm. Get me eating competition champion Joey Chestnut. He's the only man who knows how to counter this level. He's the only man who can ingest enough beans to counteract the storm. This first letter is from a handsel from Chicago.

Who writes? While listening to your episode on the Santa Claus III, I realized that mental health care treatment in Christmas movies is optioned to malign for reasons. Not just Christmas movies, but anyway. Lots of them. Yeah. And the Santa Claus trilogy, Judge Reinhold's therapist character in the original, is the original movie's primary antagonist in 2019. Do you know Santa Claus is a Christmas movie? A lot of people don't know that. Like die hard. Yeah, like die hard. Do you? Is that it? Listen, the trivia section of I&B. Yeah, like die her. Yeah, like die her. Do you listen the trivia section of I&B? Yeah, it is.

In 2019's Noelle, and a Kendrick, spoilers is arrested in Phoenix, then detained in a mental health award for saying she's from the North Pole. And that sounds kind of reasonable. But anyway, an elf buddy is called Certifiably Insane by James Conn is repeated trope of the genre, which adds little value to the story. This reminded me of comments Elliot has made about how many movies portray conspiracy theories as real and valid, which is at best lazy and at worst a troubling validation of conspiracy thinking in real life. Beyond real conspiracy theories and inaccurate mental health portrayals, are there any other alarming

movie portrayals you want to complain about? What really grinds your gears? Keep on flopping, Hansel from Chicago. We talked about USA up on night earlier. The thing that sprung to my mind is- I will not have a word set against it, Daniel. A lot of the sex comedies I enjoyed as a youth, you know, a plot in close look, not that close examination. Our fill with bad messages upon a cursory glance, including that course of sex is okay. Peeping is okay. It is amazing how harassment. Peeping, this was not what I was gonna bring up, but you're right, that peeping for many years in movies was considered like,

what a lovely scamper thing to do. I think so. In a high chance. If anything, this is a hero for spying on these women while they're changing clothes or whatever. And that's horrifying, that's terrible. Yeah. And even on a lesser like level like romantic comedies just had like a bunch of bad messages about

not taking no further. Well, that's what I actually wanted to talk about. Is it? I feel like one of the most dangerous messages that that I guess the movies we grew up with presented and it's not just the movies we grew up with, but it was I feel like it was especially prevalent because there were so many romantic comedies of this type. What are you going on? Yeah. Is the idea that not just as both the idea of a fairly depressing guy who has a crush on someone and the movie insists that the only just thing in the universe is for that crush to blossom into love, which with the other person returning their films. is for that crush to blossom into love, which with the other person returning their feelings,

but also that idea that if you don't take no, you can wear someone down into romance. Or if you do something big enough or crazy enough or persistent enough that eventually they will give in in a way that is a legitimate form of romance. I think that's genuinely a, you know, genuinely emotionally damaging message, both to women who would become, I assume a legitimate form of romance. I think that's genuinely, you know, generally emotionally damaging message, both to women who would become,

I assume, the targets of this. And also to men who don't learn how to mature into emotionally adult human beings, you know, who understand what they're gonna answer. They're traditionally their fathers don't teach them that would be emotionally, emotionally mature human beings. That's not it all. Not at all.

In some cases, it's the other way around. Oh, yeah. So yeah, that was not my bring up. I feel like, oh, wow, it's raining outside. Not over here in sunny L.A. So I hope you enjoyed that. Just to go ahead and try and get rid of all the bad movies we have. Brooklyn, about two weeks before you are hearing this.

It's less of a weather forecast and more of a weather flashback, yeah. Yeah. Here we are in this two weeks ago, weather flashback weekend. What do we play? What play? This is rain is coming down. I'm Sam flashback, the only weather for Castor who's always right, because I say it after the fact. I'll turn you down to the minute when the rain started and stops. So you can plan your past. Yeah, I think, I mean, I think you guys kind of touched on the first thing that popped into my head, but obviously there's a variety of other things things like, I don't know, portraying police as heroes. Or jokes about obese people, stuff

like that, gross stuff like that. Yeah, I just rewatched that. I mean, there's also huge, and also racism and all of that. Yeah, certainly the elevation of the idea of the cop who doesn't play by the rules. Yeah, just like, no thank you. I was like a cop that plays by all the rules. Maybe give him rules. Maybe give him rules. I mean, when a police officer is on the side of the actual, just thing that would happen

in a, in the world, the universe, like that can be a heroic story. But yeah, the valorization of cops who are that what makes them heroic is that they refuse to follow even the most basic laws and rely on violent force to get things done. Like, that's a bad message to send. And the eventually leads you to things like cops being like, yeah, that's why I have a Punisher skull on my stuff. And it's like, well, you know that he's a murderer.

Like, that's a guy. You know, this maniac cop is the bad guy. I the, but yeah, that's a, I feel like this is something I see a little bit less of, but I feel like the, there was a period when, for a lot of times, in movies you'd see, this kind of implicit idea that there's something romantic about being kind of depressed, and that to be creative requires a certain amount of depression and emotional alienation and social isolation, which is also not a healthy message, you know. Yeah.

Um, so this next letter, this is from Michael last name without perhaps Michelle, depending on what, uh, imperial least from Michelle, depending on what you're talking about. Conperially from Michelle apparently. Yep, the French version. Dear flop house, something that has been bugging me lately about movies and TV is the apparent lack of dialect diversity as in there don't seem to be any regional or even foreign accent these days. There's a single standard American accent in quotes that everyone seems to share. And then at most, you might get some people who speak with an extra Californian voice,

but not much more than that. Every now and then someone's Southern. Every now and then. Yes. Have you noticed this at all? Am I just not watching enough? Does it even really matter? It might maybe sad that no one on TV sounds like my grandparents from upstate New York and Oklahoma, but it's not like they're ethnic minorities while modern Hollywood does more work at representing people than ever before, even if they mostly just all sound the same. It just bugs me personally that this is a whole dimension to the human experience that isn't seeming to be used.

This also seems to be in contrast with media from England, where there's a lot more regional or socio-economic accents, as well as things from Japan that often have trouble translating their own dialect diversity into American media, so translators sometimes use English accents to bulk out their tool set, or even older American media, which seems to freely use a lot more accents than the current stuff. So there's not really a direct question there, but it was

an interesting topic I wanted to bring it up. Is this something you've noticed yourself? Well, older media featured a lot of like old-timey New York accents, right? Like, hey, see? Yeah. Well, I feel like there is a kind of New York Boston Mishmash accent that gets used a lot by guys who are supposed to be like in crime movies or if they're, say, Tom Hardy playing Venom or just like this.

Well, I mean, that's the case where I hear those accents in movies and TV more often than I do in my actual life in New York most of the time. I think what the letter writer's talking about is probably a real, I think there's a, there's an effort being made for racial diversity and casting, but there's not really an effort being made for racial diversity and casting, but there's not really an effort being made in diverse types of viewpoint or, and especially not socioeconomic diversity

in field. At a certain point, almost every movie seemed to be about a rich person, unless it was, you know, fucking a hillbilly junction. What was the movie hillbilly? I'll be a little bit a little bit junction. Unless it's about well, a hillbilly junction. It's not what you think. It's not what you think. It was named after Thaddeus hillbilly.

It was named after Duke. Thaddeus hillbilly who founded this kind, who sponsored the exploration that led to this colony. But the so I think there's a at a certain point, Hollywood or rather mainstream American film and television stopped making as much stuff about people who are not rich

because I think there's a fantasy of affluence and it's just easier and this, and it's, just is prettier to look at on screen. I mean also, I think a lot of the people who are the money people behind movies, re-lining movies, you know, are rich. So they don't necessarily the creative people involved, but yes, the money people want something that they can understand and relate to. And I think that does involve a flattening of accents, a flattening of types of character personality. Why is this character not driving a Tesla? I would also, he seems like a reasonable person. Why would we be driving a Tesla? And there is a fair and in America for I'm the, I'm the thousand

millionth person say this. There is a blindness to the existence of class in many ways. And it's something that we used to pride ourselves on that we don't have fixed classes. And that turned into this idea that America has no classes. We don't need to talk about it. Whereas in England, they're super, they're still super in a class system. And like, they still kind of take this perverse pride and being able to judge and pigeonhole somebody by what neighborhood they came from based on how they pronounce different words and things like that.

So I think when they're comparing it to British stuff, it's just still such a fact of British culture, you know? Also, like, my God. England has so many different accidents. In such a small space. For such a small space, yeah. I also, one thing I would like to pause it is that a lot of it has to do with, you know, obviously most movies are shot in Hollywood and for financial reasons that don't like

to shoot on location. And now that so many things are just CGIed in any way, like there's even less reason for people to shoot on location, even when that adds so much in terms of like character, and if you're like hiring local actors. Well, I mean, the fact that so much is shot in Atlanta now, but it's not like things

haven't Atlanta flavor to them or anything like that, because it is all on digital sound stages and stuff like that. And I feel like also even with like animated work, there's such a push for like known non-animation actors to do voices. And you're like, but they all have boring sounding voices. I want voice actors who have cool, weird sounding voices. I feel like this, it's all, this is a a it's kind of like a one consequence of that larger kind of cultural flattening that had people have been complaining about in America for many decades that like the idea of regional things is not quite the same because everyone goes to the same

chain stores and goes to and has watches the same shows on TV listens to the same songs and I mean I mean I like like suffer like how to a John Wilson. Well, the thing the New York thing in the world. Yes, that's sure. Well, the that let me there's obviously lots of exceptions is it's funny because people are always like our culture is too fractured. Nobody nobody shares a common thing, but at the same time, the genuine general flavor of culture has kind of become this for the most part of Teppid, Mishmash, whereas in the past, like, you also would see like regional filmmaking where it was like this movie is for this particular market. We know we can make this much money in this market.

So we're going to make a movie that is aimed at that market. And now it's much more of a like, well, every movie is going to cost us two to $700 million. Right. So it has to be the widest possible appeal. And the most you can get towards a dialect is like there's the immigrant shopkeeper who goes like, yes, Spidey, a Spider-Man swings by, you know. Yeah. Okay, well, let's move on to the final segment, which is recommendations, things that would

be a better use of your time, the legend of the roller blade seven. I mean, it's hard to imagine something that would be a worse use of your time than the legend of roller blade seven. I mean, it's hard to imagine something that would be a worst use of your time than the Legend of Roller blade seven. Yeah. Like taking just taking just taking a club and hating yourself over the head with it, that would I guess be a worst use of your time, you know? He's Louise. So like just just like just locking yourself in a bank vault for a year, like that would

be a worst use of your time, yeah. While the writer's guild is on strike, Sag aftros well, of course, but we're, Ellie and I remember, so the writer's guild, your mind camera talent is what you're saying. Yes, we are not pretty enough to be featured. I don't know, Dan played Santa Claus once in that, that daily show episode, right? That's true. And Stuart and I were, of course, in the major motion pictures, smatchers. Yeah.

We were in the major motion pictures, smatchers. And I think there was a little guy, a two of man, but we're not talking about me. We're talking about you guys. And that was a voice only. So you were not in front of the camera for that. But that's what I'm saying. You need more great voice actors like me. No, we're trying to recommend things that aren't

current media at the very least. And boy, am I recommending something that, you know, people probably don't watch in general that frequently. It's called the Dark Facts. It's called, yeah, it's a movie called The Dark Backward from 1991, Drexbaid Adam Riffkin, of the invisible maniac fame. It is a movie set, like talk about low budget dystopias. It is set in this weird garbage world that feels like sort of a P.W.E.s playhouse version of Del Cotesque by way of like the grossest modipython sketch you would see. And it has Judd Nelson playing

an extremely sweaty, introverted, bad stand-up comic. And it has Bill Paxton playing his best friend who is like, if you think Bill Paxton is giving it his all in aliens, like 10 times that amount, it is like full on like over the top, but beautiful Bill Paxton and he like moves from being sort of all like chummy, like best friend to like chillingly, his unfeeling from scene to scene. What a talent. Yeah, RIP. Have you seen this story you were nodding along?

Yeah, yeah. It is a film that is like about, it is like really trying to make things as unpleasant for you as possible, but in a weirdly sweet kind of way. Like there's something about it that doesn't just feel like edge lord unpleasant, does it just feel like, I don't know, like what if we put a bunch of trash in your eyes, but made you enjoy it somehow?

I had a lot of fun watching. Like there's stuff in it that like, I really, really laughed at it. I think it repeats stuff a little, maybe it's a little long. Like Adam Riffkin wrote the screenplay when he was like 19. So I think we can forget him, forgive him for maybe hammering a few things a little too much. But it's a, if you're a fan of weird movies,

if me talking about how unpleasant a lot of it is intrigued you rather than put you off, you might like this movie. Uh, as as Dan said, we're trying not to recommend new stuff. And in fact, I'm not going to recommend a movie at all today. I'm going to recommend my favorite board game from the last couple years. I'm going to recommend a game called Root. Uh's put out by published by later games. It's created by Cole Wirley, one of my favorite game designers. I try to play all of his games. Root is a asymmetric war game with very cute little animal creatures that are fighting for control over a woodland and all the various factions play completely differently. As a fan of game systems, I find it kind of fascinating, but as a gameplay experience,

it is one where you are kind of constantly, there's a constant player interaction, which I like. I like a game where everybody at the table is do it like in order to do something you are You are getting in somebody else's way and it forces interaction between players as opposed to like you know a complicated solidary type game Root is very cute. You can get it especially game shops if you like a challenging game experience want you check it out And I think it also it just started being sold at Target. So it's available out there. R O O T root, check it out. And I'm going to recommend also a movie. I'm not going to recommend the game, but I recommend a movie that I guess you could make a game out of if you wanted to. If you, well, probably

not actually. It's a key. I'll explain for you. It's a clue, right? I can't figure it out. I can't figure it out. Well, maybe I, it's called Rubik's Cube. It's a cube and you rub it. And you just rub it around. I mean, it's shit about it. L.A. is right, meaning escape room tournament of champions. That's odd for L.A., but I'll go along with it. So this, a movie I want to recommend is a short documentary that Martin Scorsese

directed in 1978 called American Boy. And this is a series of stories being told by Stephen Prince, who is best known to me as the man who played the gun dealer in taxi driver, who is handing off all that stuff. The stuff that you want to new Cadillac with Pink Slip, I'll get it for you, that kind of stuff. Cadillac with Pink Slip, I'll get it for you, that kind of stuff. He was someone who worked in kind of stage management and live performance tech, and he tells a series of stories about growing up in the United States in the 50s and his experiences working that become increasingly dark as they become more and more about his experiences as a drug addict and with violence. And he's a, an entertaining storyteller, but the stories themselves kind of like get,

it's harsher and harsher in a way that I never found disturbing, but instead it feels like you are, you are seeing both sides of kind of the American story, because this is interspersed with home movie footage of him as a little kid where you're hearing about his family, his upbringing, being growing up in the time that our parents grew up in. And then you're hearing about these kind of underworld tales and sometimes frightening things and sometimes just decadent things. And among the stories he tells, one involves him having to stab a woman undergoing an overdose with an adrenaline needle, and it was that story that inspired that scene

in pulp fiction. So if you want to know the, I guess, true life event that inspired that famous scene is talking about it. And it's, yeah, it's a movie I've been wanting to see for a long time, and I recently was able to and it is, I found it very entertaining, riveting, considering it's just a guy sitting down telling these stories. Although it opens with, it's one of the few interview documentaries that somehow opens with a fight scene and you'll see how that happens if you watch it. And it's called The Boy In His Blob.

What's it called? It's called The New Game. It's called A Boy In His Blob. It's called Toja Mineral. Nope, it's called American Boy. It's called A Boy In His Blob. It's called A Boy In His Blob. It's called A Boy In His Blob. It's called A Boy called a game called a boy. It's called to jaminer all yep. It's good. It's called a Mexican. This economy. Conquer spend for day. And those are the names of some video games from our past.

Yeah. I mean, we can mention work. You want to know this bubble bubble, yeah. It's all true. Kid Acarus and so when Halley was like, I played Kid Acarus too. Hey, everyone, before I go, one more plug, if you go to theflophouse.subplix.com, you can buy tickets for Flop TV. If that's the thing they'd understand, if you are in the LA area. We have shows coming up at Vityates in October. You can buy through their website. Put a Vityates Foundation dot org. Yeah, I will hopefully remember to put a website link on our site as well by then. And I would like to thank our producer, Alex Smith, who goes by the name

Howell Dottie on various internet sites, look up his work, including his own podcast fast track. Go to maximumfund.org, our podcasting network, to find other great shows. If you like this show, we are supported entirely, well, not entirely, we get a little advertising, but in overwhelming amount by listeners, through memberships of Mac's fund, if you cannot afford at this point to support us that way, you can spread the word about the flop house. It's very helpful for us. If you have the moment, take some time and leave us a good review on iTunes. If you have a bad review, if you have a bad review, you can write it down.

So I'll turn it in and envelope and slip it down the sewers for my clothes. Just get down, tell a whole new line. The nitch turtles might not listen to the broadcast. If you have a bad review, write it on paper, just put it in envelope, just then the news. The news. The turtles might not listen to the podcast. If you have a bad review, write it on paper, just put it on below, shove it up your butt.

You don't need to hear it. But if you do get, leave us a negative review. Please be clear if it's because you don't enjoy our politics so that we can then dismiss your negative review out of hand. Yeah.

But I guess that's all I have to say about that. For the flop pass, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm steward Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin saying, flat pass. I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin saying, hey guys, let's roll on, on wheels, unrollably.

That's cool. Oh, I like it. Yeah, yeah. Unrollably. Wait, hold on, let me try again. Guys, let's roll the blade. Does that work? No, it's not. Okay, how about this? Guys, let's seven. Hmm. Get a one more. That's not cool. Okay, how about this guys let's seven?

Yeah, one more. Hey guys, let's end the show. Bye Hey everyone and welcome to no, that's not how it to start we got to do an intro first not at all Okay, and it goes like this on this episode we discuss the legend of the rollerblade 7 part 2 in our Legends series Legendary small member. Okay, let's go Maximum fun a worker-owned A Worker-owned Network. Of Artist Own Shows. Supported directly by you.