The Flop House - Ep.#409 - Mafia Mamma, with Hallie Haglund

Episode Date: November 18, 2023

When a film hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a-mamma. Christmas came early for Stuart this year, as we FINALLY get to discuss his new favorite movie, Mafia Mamma. And to sweeten the deal, everyone's favorite Flop House sometime-co-host and star of the show, Hallie Haglund, dropped by to join in the fun! Not to put any of our other shows down, but THIS IS A GOOD ONE, FOLKS.Wikipedia page for Mafia MammaRecommended in this episode:A Haunting in Venice (2023)Suitable Flesh (2023)Property (2022)You Can Count On Me (2000)

On this episode we discuss Mafia Mama, part of our series of best movies of the year. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop-out. So I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kaylen. And I'm Hally Hagland. Yeah, you got a Halley Hagland here. Surprise. Halley. What are you going to say now? Are you surprising Halley or are you surprising everyone else that has? We're surprising everyone else that has here. What did you get me? I don't even know she was going to be on the show.

We're in her room now. We just woke her up. I had dreams like this. Nightmares. It is kind of like we're surprising Hall Halle, because Audrey and I were in the middle of watching Mafia Mama and she was texting someone who was like, would Halle like this movie? And Audrey asked me that question. I'm like, shit, we got to get Halle on this episode because this would be a great episode

for her. Halle is what's known as a taste maker. So last minute we contacted her. And least what's known as a taste maker. So last, madly contacted her. And I'm grateful. I'm so grateful. Is this makeup for all the bullshit movies we've made you watch? Almost. Almost, yay!

Like the real mafia mama, she doesn't give up crazy easily. Yeah. So this is the floppest we watch a bad movie and talk about except this week when we watch Mafia Mama, a movie that is lit, loomed large in my imagination. Movie that as soon as I heard about it, I'm like, is this a joke movie? Yes. And then I saw it was an actual movie.

When the strike started and we decided we were not going to do new movies for the duration of the strikes, we were just kept saying, but when the strike's over, we'll do Mafia Mama, right? Yeah. Like when we're done with the strike, we'll do Mafia Mama. It was the one movie that was the flash, not on his right cultural radar. Mafia Mama was the great, ten-pole release line. I was flying back from Athens, Greece, not Athens, Ohio, just to make it. Sure, sure. And everybody else was watching Mafia Mama,

and I had to watch the uncut version of Infinity Pool instead. Just on my laptop with all the, all the dongs for a long time. Yeah, all of that just funny. Straight out all over the world. It's funny that the main reason you wanted to watch that, I'm such a cut is because you knew that there was an actual penis in this cut. Well, not an actual penis because I believe it was a prosthetic, but there was a penis shot.

I'll do my own research, Dan. Okay, but like it's funny that that was the main like draw of the unrated cut, but you were specifically watching it on a plane. You're like everyone's gonna see this penis shot. And like everyone wants, I'm like, wasn't the theatrical cut missing this? Didn't you need to see a big fat rope a gist shoot out of a prosthetic weiner? Yeah, the person makes a me I don't know what this movie is. It was

horrifying. We're talking about mafia mama today or yeah, we talking about the uncut infinity. Let's talk more about rope jizz. Yeah, I'm glad late. Are you running at a just quick? Take a rope a giz. It's got it's the it's

the long strand you need. That's the that's the porn strategy, ropeage is. Yeah, come like a butterfly, just like a bee. No, mom, I said nerd rope. Not jeers rope. That's a candy, remember? Yeah, one of my kids got a nerd rope. And every day, you can have one piece of candy, holds that up,. He goes, this one, he's going to know that it's way

too big. Yeah. Well, then how will he ever eat it? That's the catch me too. It was a nerd rope. Yeah. The thing is they never should left Jeffrey Epstein alone with that nerd rope in his cell. They thought he was just going to eat it. That's why they left him for a while. They said, I can't watch this. It's gonna be so sticky. It's gonna take a long time. That nerd rough's big.

Everyone's gonna hate this episode. It's a big candy. Gargard, can I have one piece of my Halloween candy? Which one, Jeffrey? Oh no, no, no, no. This is gonna be the worst episode ever, okay. I should have known when I had to stop it from saying to you himself with that candy necklace last time. So mafia mon, this is all relevant, right?

Stuart, I wanted to ask you, what was it about? What? Mafia mama that so struck your fancy, like, that captured your imagination. Well, I mean, it's an alliterative title, Daniel. So I think that helps. I love. Same reason you like Mama Mia. I love when and when a actor that I consider to be, you know, like, I

don't know if I'd say A-List, but an actor that I consider to be like a serious actor with a big range. So the A-List talent. One of the best actors working. Yes. It takes on a role that looks like it's a movie poster from an episode of 30 Rock. Yeah. It does.

It does seem like if someone said, if in the episode, they were like, oh, yeah, that's the movie. Ritoni Coletzis, a bourbon Mamoon, her it's the mafia. Uh-huh. Yeah, that makes sense as a joke. And it's also like, I love the idea of, I'm a sucker for, you know, ladies getting their groove back movies. And you, I feel like you're also a sucker for the kind of women that show up in mob movies.

Brassie. Brassie. Talking. You're aggressive, you know? Mm-hmm. Yep. All those things which you got, you guys got me dead to rights, book me, book me, the channel with finishes.

Yeah, it's about finishes. I get it now. Yeah, I mean, to be fair, it's not a movie I was looking forward to, but when I found out that Monica Balucci was in it, I was like, all right, then I'll watch this with at least a certain amount of enjoyment, you know. Well, and not to tip my hand, but as I was watching it, I'm like, why am I enjoying this more than I expect? And I think it's because it is very reminiscent to me of like this sort of like period where

they were making these kinds of comedies, very high kinds of comedies that they would plug like a star into. And then, you know, success or failure, they would end up on HBO being played over and over again during the daylight hours. And so like, you know, I'm printed on them. Yeah. You were watching it. You were texting us that it was giving you real nuns on the run vibes. Yes. Nons on the run, King Ralph, if looks could kill. Exactly. Basically all the best.

A lot of in the 90s, there were a lot of high cuts of comedies about someone being placed in a position that was a silly position for them to be. Yeah. Your classic sister act very much. Fishes out of water were big in the 80s. Yeah. It was probably because of the getting the EPA. Yeah. there was a big environmental problem. People were taking fish out of water and just leaving them on the street. And the EPA had to step in. That's why you can go to jail for doing that. They had to raise the penalty to stop it.

Yeah, and the EPA shows up and you're like, I did it as a goof. It's funny. And they're like, well, if you do it as a joke, it doesn't count as a crime. Look at that, no. It's struggling to figure out how to fit in in the air. Yeah. Yeah. Try to skills. Those are what works.

There's only a few fish out of water. Comedy has have the same stakes as taking a fish out of the water, which is nearly instant death. But this was one of them. Yes. I never thought I'd see a movie with Tony Collette running from this many bullets. This is like Bruce the movie too for what movie too, but we'll get it. It is, it is.

It is, it is. I can even worry. Obviously, I enjoyed this movie with a hearty bowl of pasta that I made myself because I know about you guys. I like the full immersive experience. Okay. What kind of pasta was it? It was cavitopy with broccoli, rob, pesto, spinach, some sun-dried tomatoes.

No, no, no, no. Because I feel like it's a real, if it's a real telling thing, they don't just say pasta. They tell you what kind it is. Uh-huh, yep, yep, third. Unless they say macaroni and gravy and you're like, that's not what that is. Macaroni and gravy. And tomato sauce. What are you, why are you calling it this?

Yeah, anyway. So we are introduced to Kristen, played by Tony Collette. Kristen is an LA mom who has kind of lost her mojo. She works, I guess, for like a pharmaceutical company doing advertising. She's in marketing for pharmaceuticals. Yeah. At the most misogynistic pharmaceutical company, you can imagine. They are all assholes. Nobody respects her. They don't take her seriously. I love Jetski's. I want to clarify that my hearty laugh there wasn't at the misogyn. It was about remembering how they love to put Jetski's in all the way there.

Yeah, do you love the good Jetski's? Every I had to have someone on a Jetski, yeah. Her son Dominic is going away to college in Portland. That's very far and that's tough for her. And her husband Paul, who's at each, he's at the same coast. I mean, yeah, unless it's Portland, Maine, I guess, that's a far way to go.

I think it's all relative, Elliot, just like her husband Paul, who's her relative, because he's her husband. He's an agent prox, I know, she's only related to her husband by marriage, because otherwise there's some problems with that relationship. I think the more significant relativity, if you will, is who her great grandfather is, but we'll get to that.

Just a grandfather, right? Well, we'll get to it. Oh, is it? Oh, yeah. Her husband's an aging rock star. He's kind of a man, baby. And he is also cheating on her with her son's guidance counselor. And you can tell this is a certain kind of movie because she catches them having fully

clothed sex. This is not a movie for the police. Yeah, LA, it's mad that we don't have to see fucking buttholes. That's it. That's it. I just always think it's funny when characters are at first watching that scene, I had to realize like, oh wait, they're having sex right now because they were in the position for sex, but they were both wearing all of their clothes.

LA, I will explain that sometimes it's hotter to be wearing clothes because it feels like you're doing something a little bit. No, it's a little bit hotter. You can so sweat it. How these eyes are lighting up when it's very, yeah. It's a pretty, it's a pretty, it's a pretty, well, no, I was, you're going to say it feels like you're doing something naughty. And they were doing something naughty. They were doing something naughty. They were cheating in the same. Yeah.

Hot square. And Tony Coletta's like, it's bad enough you're cheating on me. But in your clothes, I can think of that walking around in your sweaty jeans all day after this. I can't fucking I ever see you in clothes again. Yeah. And she's like, I'm probably gonna have to clean the fucking cum stains out of your jeans later. The com rope. Yep. Okay, so. I don't want that to be the running theme of this episode.

Please, I don't want that to be the rope run through it. I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, just to like, just flow. Although now you gotta go with it. I'm just thinking about the Robert Redford movie if com rope runs through it. And of course, and of course, the other Robert Redford movie three days of the com rope runs through it. And of course, and of course, the other rep read for movie three days on the camera.

Oh, God. Okay. So she gets a phone call from Rome. It is a woman named Bianca played by. That's right. Monica Balucci. One of the great stars. Not confused with Monica Balucci. One of the great stars. Not to be confused with Monica Balucci. I assume Jim Balucci is life or sister or daughter. For niece. Very distraught. Or direct persona. Who knows. If there was a movie with and maybe this exists and I just don't know about it in which

case, I'm going to have to contain my excitement. If there was ever a movie with Monica Balucci and Michelle Yo in it, I would go bananas. That would be so sad to me. Alex, looking at his fetishes. Yeah, no, I feel like they're two kind of like world class stars of international film, you know, of a foreign film who have made it in the United States. I want to see them in a movie now. Maybe it's them all versus, I don't know, a Hong Kong cop. As long as they can be buddies, I want to do you buddy. Eventually, there'll be buddies, yes, and perhaps more.

I mean, there'll be buddies, but I feel like I'm going to be involved. No, it's going to be impossible. She cannot do a scene where it doesn't feel like she's about to make out with you. She always talk about one of those later on. I kept thinking her, yeah. Yeah, she's, she's, she's, because she's got a certain, intense, amor feeling to her. Yeah. Okay, so that's amoray. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. She's she's she's because she's got a certain up intense amore feeling to her. Yeah. Okay. So that's a moray. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, is the scene where the the moon hit her eye like a big piece of pie? That's actually not a moray. That's abuse.

The moon hits her in the eye. That is abuse and you should not have to accept it. And you can stay at my apartment tonight. I thought I'd fall asleep though after watching this in moonfall and just combine the movies together. No, here's the question, when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, do big pizza pies routinely hit you in the eyes? I just fucking realized that's what moon struck me. That's what my doctor asked for me. Yeah, the moon struck me.

Yeah, because the moon struck is more of a mania, like a love mania that the moon causes, right? And a werewolf. Okay. Because it goes, okay, just kind of a werewolf in that movie. You know what, I never paid attention to the like. I was always thinking I was about getting hit with a pizza. I'm telling you all now. Yeah, we're all learning stuff today, guys.

That's why you proposed your husband by throwing a pizza to say. Yeah. You said that's a more love-y-pitch deal with it. This is what love is. No, eat it. In your clothes. So Stuart, what did she learn, Tony Colette's care? Oh yeah, she learned, Tony Colette learns that her grandfather has passed away and that she

needs to code a room to settle the estate like right now. She needs to get on playing right now and that's a long flight. But she's resistant. She has a conversation with her friend Jenny who's a lawyer when they're at like a boxing class. And this is where we learn. Self defense class. It's like self defense fitness.

Yeah. Yeah. And this is where we learn. Kristen's overriding want goal mission in this movie. And that is a musical. She'd sing a song about it summarized as eat, pray, fuck. And if you guys know me anything about me, you know, this is my credo as well. I guess the pray part. Heliot, my church, it's the gym prayer for me, pushing plates, baby. So, um, plates. That's like a pushing 10 sequel. What's about being a waiter?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, it does. Well, with the, when the- When she uses what she learned to defend herself. Yeah. Hold on, you mean with the stiletto heel? Yes. Yes. Yeah, that's fine, but I kept expecting there'd be a more specific part where they like

taking the gun away, paid off. And she does it like multiple times. Yeah, but not every movie is currently in the movie. Not every movie is the movie. I don't know. I don't know. She was like saying the same thing. Yeah. How does that not, you know?

I thought that, look, maybe I'm crazy. I thought that it pays off clumsily because it is not, it does not look enough like, like I expect in visual language for it to like be a mirror if this is going to be like a payoff game. But I never thought I was going to say this. I think you're holding mafia mama to a higher standard of sophistication. Okay. Then it needs to be held to.

All right. All right. It was also doing a lot of heavy lifting in that scene. Yeah. At times. Yeah. It was already in homage to single white female. Yeah.

Yeah. Yep. Now in this boxing scene, Tony Colette is doing very bad punches. And I think, and she, at this point, is like, one of the things I love about this movie is how Tony Colette is like fully committed to exactly what this movie is. At this point, she is like super goofy and silly and like. Her voice for this is perfect. The accent she's using is perfect for it. Yeah, she's two thumbs up.

Okay, so she flies to Rome at the airport in Rome. She bumps into Lorenzo, a sexy Italian gentleman who we learn later is recently divorced and he gets her phone number. She also meets her drivers, Dante and Aldo, who give very good comedic performances throughout this entire movie, two thumbs up to those guys.

I would say with the material they're given, they do a fun job. Yeah. I was getting a L.A. It's on Hater Patrol, I guess. No, but I didn't like waving like Dante and Aldo were the breakout stars, you know. It's also, I mean, I guess this is a type of character that always works on me. I always enjoy like the goon that turns out to be like surprisingly supportive. And there's like a kind of like a tall skinny one and like a shorter round one.

Like that's the classic. That is classic. Yeah. Like a lady in the tramp. Exactly. Just like lady in the tramp. Yeah. So it was lady the tall one or the no, the goons. Oh, the goons. So was Lady the tall one or the no, the goons of the goons. So she is taken to the funeral. She gets dressed in the car. Take me to the funeral. There she meets with the mourners. There she meets, she meets Bianca. She also meets her cousin Fabrizio, who has a neck tattoo.

Looks like a mafia so type guy does not like her. You do classic hot head, classic mafia hot head in all these movies. Yeah. Very much curial. Yeah, very much QCO, actually, it's more like Tibal. It's more like Tibal. He's way more like Tibal.

He's like Tibal. He's too low enough if he did ended there. That's it. I can do all of it. Okay, Naman, sorry. Sorry, thank you for your penalty. So the funeral assessment is for everybody, let us dig there.

The funeral procession gets ambushed. There's a shootout and they are forced to flee. I believe with the casket, although I don't remember them taking the casket with them. I think maybe they should get down and put it in their pockets. You know what? This is our first big action sequence. This is not like an important thing to me.

Where's that gas? It's a dead body, Dan. I will say, this was, I found this to be a somewhat underwhelming action sequence, but that's okay. Uh-huh. Yeah. I fell asleep during it. Okay. Well, maybe I find myself, I find myself, as I fell asleep during it. Okay.

Well, maybe I find myself, I find myself, as I get older, getting less and less interested or excited by shootout scenes and movies, like I kind of start to glaze over when it's just guns firing, and yet martial arts are hand-to-hand fighting scenes. I still am in awe. Elliot, I agree with you, but I've been there forever. This is why there's a controversial position. I understand all of the plot reasons and the influence reasons. This is why I, there's a controversial position. I understand all of like the plot reasons and the influence reasons. This is an important movie.

I've never been as much of a diehard fan as a lot of people who are like, that's the best action movie. Oh, you mean a fan of diehard? Yeah, because it's like so much of it. A diehard fan of what? Yeah, because like so much of it when the action actually happens, there's some good suspense scenes, but when the action happens, it's just shooting at each other.

And I want like a sequence, man. I want like, Well, it's like I just started watching Raiders of Lost Ark with my older son, Sammy, which he has not seen for about halfway through it now. And it's watching again, it's like, oh yeah, these are like sequences. Like a thing happens, then a thing happens.

And when Indiana Jones shoots somebody, usually it's a punctuation point to something or it's the scene with the swordsman which gratifyingly Sammy thought was hilarious. Like I didn't have to explain that joke to him and they go, I want to see that again. All right, it's questionably racist, but I'll write a little one again. It's a great moment. Yeah, I think die hard just really needs a sequence where John McLean goes to like a droid factory and like falls

on to a conveyor belt. And he has like different platforms. Yeah, sure. Wouldn't that have been, that mean great. Okay. So you know, we that's not what we're talking about. So we're, now we're back at the villa, Bianca and Fabrizio kind of explain the situation that they are.

This villa is also, it's classic lady movie affluence porn. Like it's enormous. It's beautiful. It's a bed outside in the garden. Yeah, it's your idea of what can't be bed. I can't be beddy out. Yum, yum, yum. It's not like it ever rains in Italy. It is mostly a dry climate, I guess, but you know, but you know,

something's got to hydrate that tear war. Yep. That's the fine term. That's right. That's a wine term. That's a wine tarar. Appropriate. So she learns that she is part of the Balbano family, which is a crime family that also make wine poorly as a front. And that they are. They did her being part of the Balaban family, which is a movie studio in acting dynasty, but not involved in crime, as far as I know. Oh, interesting. Can you explain more about that? Well, actually, I want to know a little

bit more about that. Who are the other people in the dynasty? Well, because Bob Ballabans, Uncle, I think it was either his uncle's grandfather. I don't think it was his father. It was like a big studio mogul. He's a nepo baby. Bob Ballaban is a nepo baby. You wouldn't guess it. And he looks like a baby. A big old-grandbaby. There you go, Dan. I mean, I'm a baby with a beard. I mean, my Bob Ballon baby. Yeah, give me my Bob Ballon baby. I'm with Dan, you can put a beard on a baby.

It's not a lot, it's it. Yeah, I mean, we just, it was just Halloween. There were babies with beards all over the place. Okay, so they, the, the, the, the Bal Ballonos have a rival crime family, the Romano's. Uh, don't cut it out. Yeah, the Romano's. Thank you.

Oh, everybody loves this mafia family. And that they're in a mafia feud. Okay. No, no, not a, not a feud. It's the real Romano, Dan. Yeah, that's pretty good. Uh, That's a good rare mono, Dan. That's pretty good. Yeah. It's a little is that Bernie?

I was meeting with the baldados. I mean, it's just that. That comment. That comment. Yeah. Mine is becoming permanent. Okay. We've got to wipe out our enemies to establish a privacy in the cocaine trade.

That's that's permanent as a mob boss. As he's explaining to Miss Piggy before they have scarly hot sex. I told him this piggy you can ask me about my business once and Kermit, are you a mob boss? No, of course not piggy. And then as she leaves she sees Sam the eagle kissing his his his bed. Yeah, can you imagine a universe where Miss Piggy isn't the crime box? I know.

It's obviously going to be the mob boss. Yeah, this it should be the other way around. Yeah. You can ask me about my business once, Kirby. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm thinking about the God porker. I'm just, that, that sounds more like a,

I think they're, I think it's more, we have, we have a, we have a Muppet book where there is a double page spread of pun, Muppet movie titles. And I think one of the missing is the pork father or the pig father. Pork father. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alex from imagining something else. Which if I were a pig, I would be very offended by being called pork anything. Yeah. Luckily, you don't understand English as a pig probably anyway.

They have their social smart. They know as far as the three-year-old. You think they don't understand pork? I, well, you don't understand pork. I don't know. Well, you put it here in charge of a sausage store and see what happens. I have a two year old. I have a four year old. Let's put them together and see if they have under standpoint. That's a good point. It's a good idea. Uh, okay. So that's mommy math. She watches a video message from her grandfather explaining that she has inherited this mafia

family. She is the new dawn of this dynasty. And there's some comedy bits in there. Fabrizio is super angry. He should be the next dawn, obviously. And Kristen, you know what? She's resistant. She doesn't want, she came here to eat prey fuck.

She did not come here to run a crime family. She says that I want my eat prey fuck so many times in this movie. So many times. Yeah. If they got to hear that, pay off, which I was not wild about the eat prey fuck as a joke, but I like the payoff for it. Oh, I love to the pay off. I love, I la, I la, I laughed out loud.

And there's, you know, there's a bit where one of her guards Aldo explains that it's a play on E-Pray love and is familiar with the books. He's clearly been inspired by the book, was touched by it, yeah. So she agrees to help with the negotiations for peace, but she makes a stipulation that she'll do it as long as she can have her fling with Lorenzo, the hot guy she met at the airport. So she meets, could it be slathering Lorenzo's little? So I'll, let's not, let's not, I feel like we're entering rope territory again and I do not want to go there.

No entry. Howdy, what are we going to say about Lorenzo? No, I was just never mind. Let't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't a renegade. Yeah. I want to use my laser pointer to point out where you could lose weight. No, I don't think so. I'll probably go. So she meets after after a

little bit of a makeover where she gets dressed up to look like a mafia, donia, donia, don, whatever, don, mama, mafia, mama, my mistake. I keep my eyes on it. She meets Don Carlo, whoia, don, whatever, don, mama, mama, mama, mama, my mistake. I keep my hands up. She meets Don Carlo, who was the rival, my boss at a restaurant. I feel like there are tons of understated funny moments. The way she was dressed before her makeover, it was like she was out of a Chico's catalog. That was so funny. Yeah, it was funny.

It was like all earth tones. Yeah. Also, I mean Audrey pointed this out, I was not. It was like all, it was like all earth tones. Yeah. Also, I mean Audrey pointed this out, I was not as attuned to it, but she was totally right like the way that over the course of the movie, her costume changes. It becomes more, first it becomes like, you know, more chic and more looking directly like Monica Balucci. And then she like sort of gets her own style. Yeah.

Yeah. By the time she does that. It's like Rachel Fonda in single white female. Oh, I want specific outfit, the white. Okay. Single white outfit. Single white outfit. So she meets the rival, my boss.

Single white color from negotiations. She is very. No more. No more that out like. She's very nice. She's pretty good up again later. And so I can say, oh, no, not again. No, it's okay.

They're having a hangout. I like it. I'm not getting mad. I'm not getting mad. So she goes, she goes to the meeting with the other mob head. Oh, oh, we're doing the summary still. So yeah, it's the podcast. I don't believe that Stewart gets mad about being interrupted.

It's so different than the way Dan gets mad about being interrupted. I love both of them equally. So she meets the rival mob boss for negotiations at a restaurant. She's very nice to the waitress. That's gonna pay off later. She's a lot of nookie. Yeah, she eats a lot of nookie. She's like super goofy and she gets drunk and she's like horny because this is a hot mob

boss. And they kind of hit it off. He seems to agree to her negotiations. And she's not in her life when she's hitting that hormonal burst, right? Yeah. That turns older women into sexual prejudice. Yeah, her libido is like, it's getting into Harry Nol's territory. I also like that light.

I really hope not. I like that Tony Collette here. Like honestly, is not afraid to play it a little dumb to like, like she is, she is so into like the idea of this like vacation in her own world and like what not and she is just kind of dumb. There are times when she is so almost deliberately obtuse about the danger of the situation she is in and what it is called for that sometimes I found it funny and other times I was like, okay, at this point, a normal human being would know that this is like a dangerous situation.

You can't just stop. You can't just keep talking about how much you want to have sex with this one guy, too. I get it, but I love the oblivious thing. It's a weird way. I mean, it's very, maybe it's very American about her, you know? Yeah, so they go off to a hotel room to hook up. They're making out. Things are looking good for her, her little mission statement.

Looks like she's maybe going to have sex for the first time in three years. In three years, he insists. She's eight and she's going to fuck. And I think she, I'm assuming she'll pray for bathroom. She doesn't need to lie to me or something. She prayed that he wouldn't, he wouldn't hear her fart while she was in the bathroom. Yeah. So, which is a joke that they make later.

Yeah, that's true later on. I laughed. Yeah. He, uh, he said he had to fart. He attempts to poison her with some poisoned lemon cello, uh, and with poison that he snuck up his butthole, which is hilarious because it's like, he probably didn't have to hide up there. I know he got searched, but like very small.

And also he goes through such an elaborate set of series of facial expressions when he was removing that vial of poison. When he pulls it out, clean as a whistle. It is shiny and glossy. Not in my I would assume if you pulled it out of your body, it would be at least a little dirty. He would assume like you've never done it. Well, what I'll probably say is he's probably making use of a Tushy, one of our sponsors this episode.

So he. It's a great product. It's a great product. I mean, the lower part of the colon stays pretty clean in between bowel movements. I, this is, this is, this could be done. Yeah. So, yeah. So, of course, do you detect it?

Yeah, yeah. He gets distracted and he's like texture for Doudy. I only poop on people who also poop on other people. Yeah, yeah, that's Dexter's MO. That's Doudy Dexter, yeah, Doudy Dexter. Yeah. So of course, the lemon cellos get switched around.

Carlos reveals his hand only to get poisoned and die. Her guards kill the other guards. They clean up the mess. Fabrizio shows up. Chops off Don Carlos' hand and they send the severed hand to the Romano's as a message. What do you think they do with that hand afterwards? They just throw it out. Do they bury it? Give it a little funeral. What do they do? They keep it. Yeah, they do a

little funeral or they turn it into some kind like they add it to like, what like a reliquary or something that they carry into battle. They can shellac it and use it as like a thing. Are they can get a jewelry made out of it the way you can get your placenta made into jewelry. Or maybe they eat it, maybe it's a really good for you. A lot of nutrients in the hand. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

So I mentioned I put it in a tiny little coffin, and there's a little grave. That's a good idea. Yeah, it's a little box that has five little fingers. Yeah, it's like a wooden glove. Yeah. Yeah, it's a wooden glove and a little wooden. Oh, it's like a wooden glove, yeah. Yeah, it's a wooden glove and a wooden. Oh, it's like one of those shoes you wear

that's like just your foot. Yeah, so like the white toes, gorilla feet, yes, yeah. It's got a lot of makeup on to look at, make it look like it's still a lot. It's like, oh, it just looks like the hand is sleeping. Yeah. Yeah.

And the green kids are like, no, no, I don't want to look at the dead hand. They're like, no, it looks, it looks okay. Don't worry about it. It's okay. It's okay. Okay. So back at the villa, Tony Collette, Kristen gets a business lesson into all the various illegal dealings of her crime family. She is put off by this. And then she insists it's time for her to go on a date with Lorenzo, which she does at his home with his aunt of air and his aunt makes a big, big pasta meal and keeps feeding Aldo and Dante her guards. Dante is loving it. No, it's great. That's guys to me. This is comedy. One guy loves the pasta. The other guy. It's too much pasta.

Comedy and tragedy right there in one scene. The date is the date goes really well, but she gets notified. She has a zoom meeting from her day job. So she has to run out before making out with this hot guy. We've all been there folks, right? We've all been there folks, right? Yeah. Tell me about it. I mean, I guess you can. It's a podcast we can talk about that stuff, but it's not really a relationship. It's the right media for it. Yeah, okay. So she sent away her guards.

She has to do this Zoom meeting. It's no big deal. And one of them, I think Dante has to take care of his sick mom. Of course, while she's setting up for this Zoom meeting. Who can afford her medication? for who can afford her medication, and I mean, it makes these characters more relatable to me, a person living in the modern world, where medication is not a mom. That we know of. That's true. My mom may be your grandfather just hasn't died yet. Oh, yeah. Just wait. Yeah.

Yeah. While she is setting up the Zoom, a assassin that the Romano sent shows up. And he attacks her while she is muted and on the Zoom call and her boss and co-workers are not paying attention to her at all. So there's a little bit of comedy about them talking about how cool these jet skis are while she is fighting for her. And objectifying the women in the, in the, in the, the photographs online that they're putting together for this, for this pitch. At first, I was like, I could not remember the phrase stock. At first, I was like, this is a little on the nose with like how absurdly

sexist it was, although, you know, more fool me for expecting any subtleties from my female. Well, Mafia Mama, yeah. But as it went on and like, everything was just putting someone else on a jet ski. I was like, okay, I like this stuff. Yeah. And the stuff they're saying is pretty over the top. It's so over the top. Yeah.

The attack by the assassin gets, uh, it gets a little rapie in a way that I don't like. I did not. It felt like it was a drop of arsenic in the middle of what could have been otherwise a fun scene of, well, yeah, there, there, there's a threat of sexual violence, which she responds by taking off her heel and stabbing him in the groin and eye repeatedly. Uh, and it's pretty gross. It's hard for her to say. She said while repeating what she said in the self-defense scene, someone would say, paying off that scene.

Yeah. I'm very legitimately. I was talking about the taking away the gun part of it. I understand. Anyway, so she murders this guy. It's nice and gross. She's on camera. She's her, his eyebrow, his eyeball just squirts out under the heel. She's on camera. She's her, his eyebrow just squirts out under the heel of the shoe on camera. Yeah, that's one of the things I like about this movie is like it doesn't seem to care about the normal, normal tonal categories.

Yeah, fair. Yeah, they're just wanna, they just wanna have fun. You know what, it's one of fun. Cause this is a feminist tone. Yeah. Tone, they'd girls just wanna have fun and that's the movie in a nutshell. I'll get to that later.

And you're closing arguments. So she had rules. How else do I just want to have fun? We've all heard it. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, especially ladies. Because they know what I'm talking about. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. But all the single ladies put their hands up.

No, no, I'm no big city beyond say, but seems to me. You know what makes me a wristmaquist. You know what makes me want to shoot justice. I cannot get some froths with that shake shake booby. Let's hear it for the boy. Let's not hear it for the boy ladies and gentlemen. Okay. Oh, this has been fun. Let's get back to the move. Of course she comes

back on the Zoom call having just murdered a guy with her heel. And she is promptly fired by her boss. And she flips them the bird and she no longer has that day job to worry about closing that book of her life forever. Yeah. Okay. And that Mac book of her life, I think, for sure. And then she storms, she storms out, leaving the dead body on the ground and she heads right over to Lorenzo's to get her groove back. She's like, break my back, Succa. Any other questions?

Sure, I can see my confusion at the use of that idiom, I think. Yeah. Okay. She doesn't actually say that, Dan, in the film. No, no, no, she says my back. No, no, she says my back. I can understand what it means from context clues. I just, it was not what I was familiar with. So I'm learning something today.

You can put it more in your language, Dan. She's telling the driver to put up the partition. Okay, yeah, yeah. Okay, sure. something today. Yeah, put it more in your language then. She's telling the driver to put up the partition. Okay, sure. So she then goes to meet with the Romano's. They have a peace talk. She makes sure everybody's eating gelato and she achieves peace. That was a very funny joke also when she insists on the gelato because it has five stars and she's just trying to eat her, pray fuck. Yeah, she's, yeah, she's, they're gonna go somewhere else and she says, no, I wanna eat at this gelato place.

And I'm the boss. Yeah. Finally, starting to embrace. She's owning her power as a woman. Yeah, as a mama. Well, really, her power is a lot of boss. Yeah. Being a mama at this point is unrelated to her center power, which is the violence inherent

in organized crime. But you know. So she and you guys are right. At this point, she has earned respect to from her enemies and her and her team. She did it from for breeds you for very briefly. She has a very horny meeting with Fabrizio on her outdoor daybed, where he is like getting super close. And at one point, he licks her finger and puts one of his rings on her outdoor daybed where he is like getting super close. And at one point, he licks her finger and puts one of his rings on her finger. He's a work head rings. Yeah. I thought it was like a Jaguar or something. Was it Jaguar?

Yeah, because they're doing like cat sounds. Oh, that's right. That doesn't make it. It should have been a wolf. That's the, it's the Roman. No, but then they make funny jokes about espresso machines with the noises they're making. That's right. That's right. That's right. Not the verbogue, the other thing. But in case we forgot the brutality of the previous scene, he mentions that pieces of

the assassin's scrotum were found in his eye socket. And he had to tell that for Brecy is just so enamored of whatever brutality she inflicted on him. I really laughed at that. He's like, I think they respect you because it was so, so grotesque or whatever it was. And he's like, and she's also wearing a pretty cool little outfit. It's like lingerie under a sport coat. I love it.

And then Bianca shows up and we have another horny meeting. Yeah, her outfit is very white queen, which is where I'm right now. Yeah, yeah. They have a curvy probably keeping with that. Monica Blucci is crawling all over her sitting on top of her like. And this is where we learn that Monica Blucci, we learn a little bit about her backstory right and that she has a fake metal leg. I wonder if that's gonna matter later.

So after having these conversations, this is when Kristen decides, I'm going to be, she is something in Bianca's story, gives her an idea and she comes up with a plan to be a good mob boss. Well, can I tell you what it was in her story? Yeah. So that Monica Blitchie tells the story about how she says, your grandfather was a mob boss, but he also did good things when I was a kid. I lost my leg in an accident and other kids made fun of me, but he also did good things. When I was a kid, I lost my leg in an accident,

and other kids made fun of me, but one day he just showed up with the top of line, prosthetic leg, and since then, I guess it's been updated many times, so she's saying, you can do this for people too. That's the power of, that's the power of the mob. Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan. But it's because Christians resistance the whole time,

she keeps being like, I can't do this, because I'm a good person, I'm a good person I'm a good person and that's when you know Telling us that when governments fail us what we need is local crime lords. Yep, benevolent dictators Gathered power themselves through this means I also want to say Kristen's resistance is a great Lin-Manuel Miranda. So, yeah. Excellent work, Ali. Um, so after coming up with this plan, we get a cool little montage that covers the next couple of months that's going to, that's like her stealing prescription drugs and then

like giving them away or like selling them at a reasonable price. It's them like improving the wine making at their vineyard and also her going on a bunch of dates with Lorenzo. Stewart, is it, is it debtor alive or is it versus where they, where they are killing people and then sending the money to poor kids in Africa? That's debtor alive to. That's debtor alive to. And at the end of the montage, they sprout white and black angel wings.

That's right. That was the sequence that I was, I was, this was reminiscent of to me because it's just like, we're criminals for good. We're doing good. Yeah, we're good criminals. Yeah, except it doesn't, isn't filled with stock footage of children playing. No, that's true. Okay, okay, but the thing is, is that this happiness can't last forever.

Paul shows up in Italy that he interrupts a lovely date and he causes quite a bit of friction with Lorenzo who just wants. Not the kind of friction Kristen wanted with Lorenzo. No, Kristen wants to, Lorenzo wants Kristen to open up. He wants to go to her home. He wants to go to her home. He wants to learn more about her. And he's got some trust issues stemming from his ex-wife that is made up. We'll find out later, but he claims to have trust issues.

I do not see that coming. Well, they don't affect them, Jack, so they didn't see it coming either. Yeah. So she's not coming, but not in the way that we're talking about. Come, Roping. And this is right after Lorenzo tells Kristen that he loves her, right? He loves her, yeah. So she stands up to Paul.

Totally. The moon has hit his eye like a big piece of pie when it comes to Kristen. She stands up to Paul and is like, you got to pay your own way back to LA. And he leaves and we're like, that's to pay your own way back to LA and he leaves and we're like, that's probably the last we're ever going to see of him. That's not going to be the case. And then she takes Bianca's side and she explains her plan. Now that everything's going so good, she's going to walk away.

She's going to give it all up for a man. Records scratch. What? I mean, if the thing that she was giving up wasn't a life of crime, I would be like, what? But she should give it up. It's not. It's a thing that can only lead to trouble for the end. L.A.

Mafia films and TV shows have always taught me that being a mobster is only good, there are no downsides. Yeah. Tony Suprano, only good things happen to me too. Christopher Maldessanti, only good things happen. Christopher Malta-Santi only good things happen. Michael Carlson just a life without a life of pleasure without any anxiety or stress. Yeah. Good fellas.

Man, that looked super fun. Really well. Good life fellas. Yeah. It does seem that by like towards the end of the movie like like she is as pivoted mostly into legitimate wine selling. Although I do feel like, I don't know, I'm not a mafia person, but I feel like it would be difficult to divest yourself completely from that life. That's really, it feels like you got either make a clean break and run away.

I thought this thing is entangled with it. I thought the thing was, what amount they just keep letting me stay out. They respect my boundaries. Just what I thought I was out. I was. Good night folks. When he sweeps up the spotlight and then puts it in his life's cap, he's at the end. Question mark and this says, no, it is the end. Okay. So she sits down with his hand reaches in and erases the question.

Yeah, puts an exclamation at like, I think like a coffee shop or a restaurant or something, she sits down with all the other bosses. She is going to break the news that she's walking away. She gives them all muffins that she baked. Good by my friends. Yeah. muffins that she baked. Good by my friends. Yeah. The meeting gets pretty heated. And then it gets fans. Well, they're mad at her. They're mad at her because her good stuff is is cutting into their business. Yeah. They're getting in the way. Yeah. Yeah. And then it's not like that. Like, Kristen, no, don't go. We love you. That's not that that's not the tone. So it gets heated. but before the bullet start flying, it gets rated by the police led by gasp. Lorenzo is a cop and his aunt who's also a cop,

which means were they living together? Are they also roommates? Like what? They're so deep covered. They were in deep cover. Is she even his aunt? Maybe not. Maybe they're boyfriend girlfriend. I mean, probably not. It seems unethical for your aunt to be your boss if you're in the police. I mean, why? Well, let's say you're in the police. You don't have to be. You're in the police.

You're in the police. You, maybe, be one of the other guys in the police. I don't know their names. There's not high school. There's Stuart Copeland. There's Stuart Copeland, the drug. Yeah, sure. You Stuart Copeland, I assume,

just son of Aaron Copeland. And you're like, oh, my aunt's gonna. My answer is going to take over the band. And everyone's like, that doesn't seem right that you would have an extra in with it with the boss. I don't know. I feel like if it were his uncle, you might be singing a different tune. That tune I would be singing would be Roxanne because it's the police. And they'd be like, well, every move she makes, I'll be watching your aunt. And they'd be like, well, every move she makes, I'll be watching your end. I'll be watching your end. I'll be watching your end.

That's what I meant to say. The off Broadway show did it ever. It went to Broadway at some point, right? From what 25 years ago. Let's look it up. Yeah, just do it. Listeners at home. Listen to that.

Look up when your end town ran. And if it was Broadway or off Broadway, send me the information at. Yeah, let out your, yell it out to the heavens, and God will get it to me. Yeah, don't tell it to the Marines. Yeah, tell it on the mountain.

Send in the clouds. Don't look in the basement. Don't look back either, and don't look now. Don't look in the basement. Don't look back, either. And don't look now. Don't speak. Never let me go. Don't stay in so close to me. Okay, so we also learned that Lorenzo isn't Lorenzo.

He's Rudy, not the football, football bat. No, not Rudy Hexdable. No, not either really. He's not not really. He's not either those ridges. And he has a grudge against the Balbano crime family because his family was killed while he was playing soccer and he missed a goal. Good joke. That's a good joke, everybody. Christian gets arrested along with everybody else that didn't get killed. The head of the Romano family gets his fingers blown off and one of the fingers lands in her hair. That's pretty funny She is starting playing the aero smith song while they're staring into their eyes. Yeah

One of one of many little musical Easter eggs Okay. Okay. She's whisked away to try. New magic, how magical it would be if you cracked open an egg and music started playing. Oh, that would be very magical. Yeah. It's like something out of a, something out of like a, I don't know, like a, like a Tim Burton film, you know, something like.

We have a lot of fun about a Carter although in light. She has a head that's a giant egg with it with a little hat on it. I was on Jordan Jesse go and we're talking about. Beautiful. I'm anyone who missed my recent appearance on Jordan Jesse go where we talked about Tim Burton's fetish for a huge heads with little hats on. And we did impressions of Tim Burton where he's talking to Helena Carter hot. How do you want sort of her to put a little hat on her head?

Yeah. Okay, so her, the time between being arrested and going to trial seems very short. Hey, this is Jiggly, a country known for the efficiency of its public institutions. Yeah, so she is, she is walking up the steps to her trial only for her inexperienced lawyer to be shoved out of the way because her friend Jenny has arrived from LA. This is gonna take it from here boys. This was an interesting move because Jenny is more experienced, but she is not, I think, a fluent Italian speaker. No, she is.

Because I know she speaks multiple languages. Yeah, but when she, when, when, when, when Kristen called her and she was like, oh my god, I just killed a mob boss. Before she picks up the phone, Jenny is speaking in Italian. Oh, was that my mom on the phone? I thought it was something, yeah my God, I just killed a mob boss. Before she picks up the phone, Jenny is speaking in Italian. Was that my own phone? I thought it was something, yeah. That was Italian.

Well, most of the trials conducted English anyway. They don't leave a lot of loose threads, okay? I know, this is tight. This is tight. This is tight, yeah. It's a perfect, perfectly, like, perfect sphere. There's no edges or loose ends. I'd be more concerned about whether

she was like allowed to practice law in Italy, whether she was familiar with as we saw from book. There's no legal jurisdictions. Kingsburg and you can just step in and officiate a wedding and this lady can just come in and practice law. Yeah. Man, and I can just murder her roommate. You can do whatever you want. That's a case that they reference in the movie. Okay. So the trial is brief. There's many, there's many character witnesses that say very nice things about Kristen. The judge moved to tears dismisses the case. Because Kristen is a huge one. The trial. She didn't inherit the mob.

She inherited herself. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Uh, you would think the movie's over at this point. Not so fast, but Breitzio makes a play for power. He shoots Dante. Oh no, I like that guy. And we think that he is shot and killed Bianca.

We learn that in fact, he just shot her in the metal leg and she is okay. He is holding Paul and Dominic hostage. What, Dominic, what's he doing in Italy? That's her son, of course. There's a shootout in the winery. Fabrizio gets pushed into a wine press where his blood mixes with the wine and they sell it as rosé. Yep, yep. The, Their family goes. Had this more than you'd think. Had this more than you'd think it was. How do you think they make rosé? Exactly, yeah.

I don't think that it would taste very good to have meat in your wine. Well, it's not meat. It's blood. Yeah, it's more Dracula's turning the blood. It was brown. Maybe I will eat, maybe I will drink wine. I mean, I don't think, I think that part would turn. It's what I'm saying, the, yeah, I don't, I mean, probably when, if you're aging the wine,

certainly the blood clot at some point. I mean, I guess the vinegar, the acid of the wine would prevent any like, you know, diseases. I know there's, there's, there are more than one comic book where blood was mixed with the printer's ink and it was fine. So maybe it's just that they washed it down with so much wine that it diluted the blood enough that it just adds a little tinge of like iron to the wine. Iron and wine.

It's a very menorally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of tannins. Is that a thing in blood? Tannins. So she sends, she sends Paul back home. She sends her son Dominic home, but

not before he gets a little bit of a Godfather moment because one of the running jokes that Kristen has never seen the Godfather. Yes. I love that. I love that. Everyone in Italy is horrified and angry at her that she's never seen it. So funny. It is the only thing. It's a funny joke. It's a funny runner. The only thing to me was I was like, Italy has a, has a, has a, has an amazing national film heritage. So the thing is her, you see, the mostly mobsters are mad. There's a lot of mob movies from Italy. There's a lot of movie from Italy.

But no, it was, but it's a funny running gag, you know, especially because at one point she does make a reference to it. And they're like, oh, you finally watched the Godfather. She's like, I read this on my end with Wikipedia. Good joke. Those are good jokes, folks. So we get a little Godfather moment. And then she gets her own mafia mama moment, enjoying what, like some gelato at the very end. They're like feeding her. They're just putting it in her mouth for her. Oh, yeah. That's what she, because she's the mafia mama. And that is the end of the movie. Boom, boom, boom, that's the end of the movie. We get a little theme song, dance, dance, and I'm dancing.

Everybody's dancing. That was Mafia Mama folks. I was dancing to the theme song. Mafia Mama will return. Mafia Mama too. Mafia Mama versus the Yakuza. I kind of wanted, I mean, I know that part of the thing is for pivoting away from the unsavory aspects of

the mafia, but I kind of did want like a post credit of something of like her like sitting some goons to scare her old boss or something. Like just like a little bit of a. Yes, her old. She sent a finger. I mean, she sent the finger in the Rose. But that was to the. That was to the right.

That was to the right. He meant her boss in America at the. Yeah. I just want to like a little bit of like, as long as we're doing all this fantasy wish for a moment, like, and the last boom, take that right down. Because he's in his bed and he's like, huh, what? And he his foot hits something and it's the head of his son from who he works with at the company. Sure. Yeah. No, it should have been. No, the sons alive though. The sons just like dad, I got a bad dream ever since those mafia goons came by. He's like, you can sleep in the bed with me.

That's all right. Sure. No, what it should be is he kicked something and his foot's wet and he pulls the sheet aside and it's like a chopped and half jet ski and he's like, no. It is all over the bed. That's a great ending. Yeah. Okay.

So that was mafiaia Mama, everybody. You're probably wondering, did this movie live up to Stuart's high expectations? The answer is absolutely. Two thumbs up. Love you, Mafia Mama. So that's your final judgment. Final judgment, this is a movie I liked. Yeah.

For anyone who inexplicably is just joining us, we now- I don't even know how that would be possible. Final judgements. Just get to 56 minutes it. A bad, bad movie or movie kind of like, I just meant this episode. If you haven't, this is where we like give our final opinion. So I said, do it. I kind of like the title, final judgements is kind of self-explanatory about what the segment

is. Yeah, sure, sure. Elliot, sometimes you're really hard on Dan. Thank you. Wow. Thank you for that performance for Zeele. Speaking for the listeners. There you go. It's a very fair.

It's a very fair. It's a very fair. It's a very fair. It's a kind of like he just liked it straight up. And I would say, I mean, I might stick with kind of lights because it has issues. Like it's not as funny as I would like it to be necessarily. And even though I respect that its tone goes for it, sometimes it doesn't seem to have full control of itself.

But I still kind of admit that I really enjoyed it and laughed a lot while watching it. So that's my response. You guys? Me? Yeah, really you though. I loved it. I'll be the buzz killer again. I loved it, loved it, loved it.

I wish I had written it. I couldn't stop thinking about how fun it must have been to make this movie because these are all like the director was the woman who directed 13. Oh, right. It's a big change. Yeah, the first Twilight. And Tony Collette, she obviously has been in numerous renowned films, but they were all like, you know what?

Like, we're girls and we want to make a fucking stupid movie and it did and it was beautiful. And I loved it. No, I thought it was great. I really did. And I thank you guys for letting me watch it with beautiful. And I loved it. No, I thought it was great. I really did. And I thank you guys for letting me watch it with you. Yeah. I'm just going to say at the end because I don't want to be too much of a school. I don't like it that much.

But I think it's more because it felt like there were a lot of opportunities for humor that were not fully taken. Yeah. I feel like it has one strike against it in that it's a comedy that Elliot did fully taken. It was like, I feel like it could. It has one strike against it in that it's a comedy that Elliot did not write. And came out after the 1970s. That's the issue. No, I just, I wanted to be funnier.

Like, I was like, oh, there's a lot of us. Like, it feels like this movie is like, always getting up to the edge of being really funny for me and then wasn't going quite there. But, you know, but there's, of all the movies we've watched maybe this year, I think this is this is in the top three. Certainly. I mean, for the flop house, I mean, not all the movies we've watched in personal lives. Yeah. Okay, so that was Mafia Mama. What do we do next here, Dan?

Let's do some ads. Why not? You know what? Let's do them. Okay. Let's do it. We can make Halle sit through them. Sure. We'll try and make them fast, especially for Halle. Hey, you like, uh, remember how I stuck up for you. Yeah. Thank you. Never forget it. You want to feel as good as real mafia. Mama. You want to feel good. You want to feel as good as it. He's a real mafia, mom of the day. You want to feel good. You want to feel like Hallyaglan stuck up for you. You want to get that kind of join in your life. Maybe microdosing is the answer. Our show today is sponsored by microdose gummies.

Microdose gummies deliver perfect entry level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. And when I say just the right amount of good, I'm saying that warm feeling of friendship and appreciation that you get when the Hally Hagland tells Elliot to shut the fuck up for once and be nice. If you want like a similar experience, but in like a microdose gummy form, microdose gummy are available nationwide to learn more about microdosing

TAC go to microdose.com and use code flop that's F L O P to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Links can be found in the show description, but again, that is microdose.com code flop. You know, the holidays are right around the corner and you're probably doing a little bit of gift shopping. And what kind of gift does everybody in the world need? That is right. People need a Tushy home bidet so that their butts will stay nice and clean because everybody poops. That's a rule.

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Spor-poop Halloween. Oh, that's what I thought. Okay. Visit HelloTushy.com. HelloTushy.com forward slash flop and use promo code flop for 30%. No, no, flop, like the name of the show. And use promo code flop for 30% off your first order. That's HelloTushy.com slash flop for 30% off now through November 25th now and forever.

No, and forever. Cats, a lot of deliver good cats in your toilet. I, the former one to the next, the next ad, I just want to say I'll also throw in a personal recommendation for the Tushibide my family loves it. Okay. So guys, we've got some flop house related announcements, exciting, exciting, exciting, flop TV continues a pace. That's our online live,

but then recorded broadcast internet TV version of the flop house podcast. We as record this just days ago, we had our fourth episode over the top. The video that is online now for anyone who has a season pass ticket, we're going to buy one. Our next episode is December 2nd, one day before my birthday, you better show up with a present and we're going to be one. Our next episode is December 2nd. One day before my birthday, you better show up with a present. And we're going to be watching and talking about,

that's right, ballistic X versus sefer. The movie that until I watch it, I refuse to believe is a real movie that exists. Just sounds like collection of words I don't understand. Yeah. We may turn out to be maybe like the 20th through 22nd people who have ever seen this movie. It'll be exciting. So that's December 2nd, a Saturday, the first Saturday of the month, at 9 PM Eastern, 6 PM Pacific, or if you can't make it for the live broadcast on Saturday, December 2nd at 9 PM, your season pass or your ticket gets you access to the recording pretty much the next morning or later that night, definitely by the next morning.

That's the flop house, simplepletix.com for tickets or season passes to flop TV. But even more exciting than that, if it's even possible. Hey, you like watching the flop house on your computer. Would you like to watch us in person, in a room with you, sharing the same space? Well, guess what?

If you live in one of a few places on the West Coast, you'll get that chance. In January, that's right. In January, 2024, the flop house is going on towards the 2024 tour. We're calling it eras. And we gave all to a couple of different cities on the West Coast. Sorry, East Coast. We can announce two of those dates right now on January 25th of next year. We're going to be at the Aladdin theater in Portland, Oregon. That's right. Portland, Oregon, the city of roses will be there doing the flop house. That's at 8 p.m. on January 25th for tickets.

Go to Aladdin-theater.com. That's not the word dash, just the pronunciation, this is the punctuation, Aladdin-theater.com. And then a few days later, January 28th at 7 p.m. will be at the Regent Theatre in Los Angeles. If you missed our video at Los Angeles show, get ready. We're going to be in Los Angeles again doing a different show, not the same shows. So that's going to be a- And this will be downtown where there's like parking garages and stuff. Yes, it may be easy for people to-

It's a cooler place to be. It does smell bad, but you know, it's that, well, it's what- I said, I don't know if it's a cooler place to be. It's not a good place to be, it's that, well, it's what I said, I don't know if it's a cooler place to be. It's not. It's pretty cool. But the region is fine too. That go to region dtla.com for tickets. That's January 28th, the region theater. We haven't picked our movies yet.

We do have some surprise, a special thing that we might be able to announce at some time in the future for one of those shows. But we have what we're going to pick those movies soon and let you know what they are. Let me say there's a, yeah, there's gonna be eventually four dates in this Flapphouse West Coast tour. We can only announce two right now, but we wanted to give people the earliest possible chance for those two. Once there's all four, you know, I'm gonna construct an easy place where you can look at all that stuff together. Big promises coming from Dan McCormick.

I can't eat these things. I just sometimes forget them. That's the problem. Hey, Stewart. Yes. You've done along. Yes, Bob, you're really long. You're mess with Dan.

You're mess with me. That's what Halley says. Yeah, go on, kid. You'll come after Dan. You'll come after me. Methodist come after. Okay. I also guys step to the step aside from it,

I have some non-flop house news that I wanted to share, that I'm gonna be cheating on the flop house boys next year, doing another podcast that I'm gonna make real quick. I didn't want you to find out this way, but it is the way I'm telling you. I am gonna be teaming up next year for a podcast with 99% visible zone Roman Mars. We're going to do a monthly podcast celebrating the 50th anniversary of one of my favorite books,

probably my favorite book of all time, The Power Broker by Robert Carro. He's a mortal masterpiece of political biography and municipal apocalypse. We're going to be walking through the book all year, get yourself a copy, read along with us. It's going to be really fun. We're going to have celebrity interviews, things like that. There should be a kind of introductory episode coming out in December. And then it's going to be all through 2024 for the 50th anniversary. I don't have the title of that podcast yet, but when we do have it, I'll give it to you. So that's a lot of me promising titles. Shower broker. You can do it in the shower. Okay. Yeah. Maybe I'll podcast the shower.

Probably ruined my. I saw a screenshot of you and Roman talking to Conan O'Brien. Yep. You mentioned me. Did I mention what? I was a big fan of Conan O'Brien growing up. I almost did, to be honest, but it didn't. Instead I mentioned Maddo Bryan, some of the, we both know in common. Yeah. A long time. Did you know he's working at the daily show again? Oh, we didn't know that. Yeah. I'll have to get into to them. A long time Conan writer and former Daily Show coworker of mine, Maddo Bryan. But that's what we interviewed Conan O'Brien. We're gonna interview celebrities and stuff like that.

But my name was on the tip of his tongue. And one last thing, I'll remind people that my Disney villains Hades comedy series is Out in Stores Now, from Down in my Comics. And that's all the ads that we have this week. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Have you ever wanted to know the sad lore behind Chuck E. Cheese's love of birthday parties? Or, has that had any warnings or reserve for cartoons? Or, have you wanted to know how beloved virtual pet sight neopets fell into the hands of Scientologists?

Or, how are former Mattel and Psojie managed to grow Sega into a video game powerhouse. Join us, host Austin and Brenda, and learn all of these things and more, that secret histories of nerd mysteries, now on Maximum Fun. I'm Yucky Jessica. I'm Chuck Redsworth. And this is... Terrible! The podcast, where we talking about things we hate that are awful!

Today we're discussing Wonderful! A podcast on the Maximum of Fun Network! Oh, it's Rachel and Griffin McElroy, a real-life fairy tale! Discuss a wide range of topics. Music, video games, poetry, snacks, but I hate all that stuff. I know you do yucky dress and grab. It comes out every Wednesday, the worst day of the week, wherever you download your podcasts.

For our next topic, we're talking Fyota, the baby hippo, from the Cincinnati Zoo. I hate this little hippo. Well, then let us move on to letters from listeners like you who are listening to the Flophouse podcast right now. Hi, I'm talking to you. It's me, Dan McCoy, talking directly to you, the listener.

Hi there. No, not you. That you in the red. Yeah. How you doing? Anyway, if you're one of the most proud of the way that you have learned how to waste time. Thank you. Thank you, Elliot. that you have learned how to waste time. Thank you. Thank you, Elliot.

That's how you talk to your friend. Yes. It makes me, it makes me very proud. Yeah. Anyway, letters from listeners. The first one is from Luke Glass, name withheld who did the over the top slash over the flop art that we use for most recent. Oh, cool.

Flop house. If you've been waiting room. Flop TV show. Yeah. The last episode of Flop TV you saw it was great. It was a great mock up poster. My favorite part of it was how he changed the slogan. The tagline over the episode was like some fight for, was it?

Some fight for, some type for some, that for victory, some for money. He's fighting for his son's money. Something like that. That's great. Yeah. So this is from Luke Lasting withheld over the flop. Hey there. Long time first time, et cetera. I've listened to you checkleheads for a while.

But only recently subscribed to your YouTube channel. Today the algorithm decided that since I like your channel, I might also like Wood Talk, which as far as I can tell, only has it common with your show that it is three guys with cartoon avatars talking about something. I guess I should ask a related question. So, what's your favorite use of wood in a movie? You have to answer because I finally joined Max Fun this week. You owe me dammit. Luke Lasting with help. We do. You're favorite.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Use of wood in a movie. I've got an answer for that. I think so this. I don't know if it's really my favorite. But it's the first one that comes to mind is there's a moment in the movie, Horse Feathers, the Mars Brothers movie, where Harpo and Chico have been tied up and kidnapped in a room

and they get out by each. They each have a saw on their hands and they saw through the wooden floor in a circle around themselves so that they then fall through the floor through the ceiling of the room below them and are immediately captured again. And I just think it's very funny the way that they're doing another comedy movie, the characters would do this unknowingly, like ignorantly, unknowing that they are about to fall down. But it is clear from the looks on their faces that chicken harpo are very well aware that they are about to fall through the ceiling of the room below them. And they are doing it just for the sheer insanity of wanting to escape that way. Yeah. You know what? I just thought of that I'll throw in here, the film Walking Tall,

the Hicksploitation movie with Joe Don Baker. Yeah, he's a big stick in that. Yeah, he just carries around a plank. And that's how he fights crime with a big piece of wood. Also, let's not forget the movie Ed Wood. Yeah. I haven't seen it. Is it about wood?

Yeah. What about a movie Mr. Woodcock? Is that about wood? Yeah, I think so. About woodcock. I heard there was a movie where Holly Woodcock? Is that about Wood? Yeah, I think so. About Woodcock. I heard there was a movie where Holly Wood, if she could. So is that something that would? That's great.

Yeah, like place beyond the pines, do we see the pines? Very briefly. Because they're really going to the place beyond them. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that's a couple of things. But there could be no place beyond the pines if there weren't pines to begin with. Thank you. It was generous.

I'm going to, with Luke's, forbearance, hopefully, I'm going to expand the question to any type of construction or building material. Yeah. You've seen in a movie. This was tough. I mean, I felt like the obvious one was the stake in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Sure. But then I was trying to remember, wasn't there a thing in Father of the Bride

where he like builds a gazebo for her, or did I make it out? No, I think they do either build it. That's like one of his big things. He wants to finish this gazebo. Yeah. Or I was thinking about in my girl, when there's a, there's a beehive in a tree.

And trees are made of wood, but you're all wet. Yeah, or in mid-summer where they spoil our alert, set a bunch of wood on fire. And Wicker Man, they do the same thing. They also set a bunch of, I guess it's Wicker. Guys, I love a gazebo. Whoa, I thought there was a new person on the podcast. Yeah, yeah. It's like that in crazy ways. You love a gazebo, Dan, I thought there was a new person on the podcast. Yeah, I was kind of crazy.

You love a gazebo, Dan, you should try and get on an episode of Catfish because they always meet people in jail. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I just, you know, you want to be outdoors, but you also want to roof a gazebo is one of your top ways. Oh, also, like Dan's never been on an episode of catfish. Yeah. This is, talk to yourself about being mean to Dan. Yeah, I was gonna say, I feel like you want to see the world.

I feel like of the three of us, Dan, do you think you're the most likely to get catfish toers at me? Because like, I'm such an optimistic romantic, I could always get suckered. Yeah, I mean, well, we're obviously removing ourselves from our current relations. No, you guys are talking about in the world of, yeah, you're married, you're both. Yeah, I think my cat fit being catfish days risks. I've been. The risk is down. I think those days are over, I think. Yeah, that's what that's what the insurance is. So I call you a catfish out of water, right? Oh, and we're back. Okay, well, in that case, let's move on to the star of the show. The next letter that's from Chris last name with

hell who writes, howdy, a couple of episodes ago. Stuart mentioned he was reading romance novels right now. And I'd love his recommendations or thoughts on any compelling ones. He or the other flappers have read. I primarily read sci-fi and fantasy novels, but I've been trying to find something that my wife and I can both listen to while we are in the car together. She unfortunately does not like podcasts and music makes me sleepy while driving. Thanks Chris. I don't think they should be listening to romance novels together in the car.

You don't want things to get too sexy when you're in the car. It's not safe. No, unless you pull over to the side of the road. Well, you guys promise me that you're pulling the side of the road. Yeah, that's what that has to do with the love. Because no one is saying anything unless you promise. That's what the phrase, safe sex means is that that you've all got to the side of the road. But you keep your steep belts on.

Yes, yes. Because someone could hit you, side swipe. You might get re-rended and not the way that you want. You might get re-rended while you're getting re-rended. I think I implore that, play on verse. Yeah, unless of course you're like Charlie Sheen and Christy Swanson in the movie that chase where they don't have the opportunity to pull over because they're being chased like the title of the movie. Yeah. But the erotic tension has gotten so much

of the. They can't not do it only or if your only fans fans have requested that you do it, what in a Tesla self driving car. That's the other, the other way that people are doing it. Yeah, your, your only fan subs are making that request. I know as long as it's not, I don't think you're allowed to do it in public anymore. I think that's one of their restraints, but I don't, I don't read the fine print. Um, okay. So let's see. Uh, I love how you tried to play off like you weren't well aware of the rules. I don't know all the rules. The thing is my love of rules goes way back, whether it's board games, whether it's website documents.

Yeah. He's the guy he often says because I just watch porn. The rules. Yeah. Rules are important guys. I don't know. I've only just started reading romance novels. The most recent one I read had the, I would say somewhat ridiculous

title, the kiss quotient about an autistic woman who, an autistic woman who in order to become more experienced starts dating a, or starts seeing a male escort and, you know, things get a little bit hot and heavy guys. And, but I, you know, it was cute and hot and fun. But yeah, I mean, I, I'm, I'm, I'm just starting out. So honestly, I could use your recommendations. Please listeners. I have a feeling that a few of our listeners probably could recommend some and, or we'll just tell me to go to that. There's like a new romance novel specific bookstore that opened up in Parkslow. Call what the ripped bodice, I think, is the name of it.

Oh, yeah, I've heard of that story. Yeah. So maybe I'll just walk. But it's pretty good that the bookstores are doing so well that they can be that niche. Often, oftentimes, I think the nicheness helps because the bookstore has like an identity that people go to it for, you know. That's true. Like, because there's stores that cater just to comic books, guys.

Surely not. Sure. There aren't many nerds in the world. that cater just to comic books guys. Surely not. There are so many nerds in the world. And in addition to comic books, they sell little statues of comic book characters. Yeah, for what reason would one of these things? I mean, I don't know. I'm still learning. I'm guessing, so they, when they're reading the comic book, they can look over to their

shelf to see like a little feasible three dimensional representation. Yeah, and they can say how it moves through space. Did you really do this? That's very, yeah, you hold up the book. I'm reading it by you, right? You hold up the figure and you hold it to the page and you're like, about the same size as this one. Yeah, yeah, make it the right.

Make it the right. Make it the right. ready in the morning. Yeah, of course there's a problem of infinite regress where I had to get a smaller or a smaller shot. Stan, can you tell me to read infinite regress by David Foster Wallace and I will not read it. I'm sorry. So I hope that answered your question. And now we're moving on to recommendations, movies to watch, normally other than mafia mama, but in my case, I'm going to recommend a unchallenging double feature that Audrey and I stumbled upon. Before we watch Mafia Mama,

well, Mama, sorry, before we watch Mafia Mama, we watched the haunting, haunting a haunting and Venice. And it was an interesting, an Italy double feature. And it was pointed out. Doble, it's a two-hour. Yeah, it's like, it's two sides of the same coin. Like, a haunting and Venice is like, over-serious to the point of being kind of funny and dark. And this is like, sun-drenched, mafia mamas, sun-drenched, Italy, all wackiness. It's so funny it becomes a tragedy. Yeah, but the thing is, I have not liked the other, or Kielparo, Kenneth Branemubis. And this one I only kind of liked, and liked mostly as a double feature with mafia mamma. I think it's kind of a movies. And this one I only kind of liked and like mostly as a double feature with Mafia Mama, I think it's kind of a fun recommendation.

Yeah, I know, I know for a fact that there are other listeners out there that would be like, oh yeah, that does sound fun. So for those listeners, honey and Venice, it is stronger than the other It is stronger than the other movies by virtue of, it doesn't have like ugly CGI, train, or Nile River. It is shot in a combination of real locations and been as sound stages and with a little like then digital augmentation for things. They brought real ghosts in. They got army hammer to come back, right? Well, you can't cast a normal person as a regular ghost these days.

No, you can't do it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you'll get canceled. Yeah, you'll get canceled. Exactly. But I made this comparison on Letterbox and then I discovered that like dozens of other people have, but it feels like like a really high-toned episode of Scooby-Doo in a way that made it like a lot more just like fun

and campy than some of the other ones have been. Because the Harlem Globetrotter showed up. Yeah. So I say- Yes, I need to share how to song in the movie. My recommendation is the double feature of Haunting and Venison Mafia Mama. That's a strong double feature. I'm going to recommend a horror movie because we're just getting out a spooky season. I'm recommending the latest movie by director Joe Lynch called Suitable Flesh, starring friend of the podcast, Barbara Crampton. She is great. Barbara Crampton and Heather Graham are both in it. And it is a, like a modern take on the thing at the doorstep story. And it's also the whole movie is kind of a love letter

to the Stewart Gordon HP Lovecraft new. A Lovecraft letter. Mm-hmm. It's lovecraft services. Mm-hmm. Yep. But were you started writing hard stories? He was a user caterer with love prep services. Yeah

What when we serve it's indescribable the food that we serve. Yeah, it's I can't I can't tell you about it Cycloppy and is that a way you can describe food? We need to be over at love crafty for a moment getting a stack a little right back He's like the the polyps are flying out the door. Okay. So it is, it is a, it's a horror movie. It's a little bit gross and campy and like weirdly horny. And it's fun. So if you're looking for like a fun kind of gross, like horror movie night, suitable flesh

is a good time. I'm gonna recommend a movie that I think has been playing festivals. I don't know if it's in theaters yet, but it's a movie called Property Written Directed by Daniel Bendera. It's from Brazil. It's a movie that I think they made last year, but it's been playing different festivals and things. And it is a super tense, kind of suspenseful thriller.

This woman who is the survivor of kind of kidnapping attempt and has been kind of like afraid to go outside, kind of a shut-in since then, afraid to go outside. Her and her husband go to the estate that he inherited. Unfortunately, they're arriving on the day that everyone who works on the estate is being told, the estate's being sold and you're all gonna lose your houses and you're all going to leave.

And but first, you have to pay back the overseer, the money that you owe them. And they, and things spiral out of control as they try to take control of the place and the wife is trying to defend herself from them. And one of the things that's great about it is it was, it's super suspenseful. But there's like no, where there's, there's very little of like any kind of bad guy characters.

There are people who are not as nice as other people, but everyone kind of has a point of view to what they're doing. And you just see these people getting into getting themselves into worse and worse trouble because they're all part of this system that has given some people everything and some people nothing. And I thought it was really good. So that's property. Well, I guess I'll recommend the only movie

I've seen besides Mafia Mama in the last, I don't know how long. Because you're a real life mama. No, recently I was listening to another maximum fun podcast, baby geniuses, and Lisa Hannah Walt mentioned how you can count on me as a perfect screenplay. And I thought to myself, hey, I wish I could do that. I'll take a read. So I read it. I remember, I never actually saw this movie when I was younger, but I remember my mom always had the CD for the soundtrack in her car.

So that's a little piece in my history. Anyway, I watched the movie and it is so good. I feel like it's the best thing I've seen by Kenneth Lonergan and he gets so understated. He gets so, you know, Manchester by the sea was obviously a real tear-jerker, but I mean, it's salt- Have you seen Margaret? Track. No.

Margaret, the longer cut of Margaret is great also. Really? Yeah. Okay. But it's very hard to get your hands. I've been wanting to see that for a while. Oh, it was on, I think it was on Christianarian channel for a while. Oh, really?

There was some streaming service where they had the longer version of it. It may not be up there still, but if you can find it, the three-hour cut of Margaret is very good. But you can count on me. It's great. When I went, when I was at, here's a little piece of my personal history, when I was at NYU in the dramatic writing program, that was the movie that like everyone was talking about. It was a recent thing. Longer than I think was a lump of the program. And they were like, this is what you can be capable of. And none of us produce anything anywhere near as good as that. Yeah.

But the other movies, they're always telling us to watch where China Town and Tootsie, and like Tootsie is not very good, but you can count on me, it's very good. Yeah, and it's really good. Check it out. Check it out. Four recommendations.

Yeah, five if you consider Mafia Mama, which I do. stations. Yeah, five if you consider Mafia Mama, which I do. Before we sign off, I don't know. How is there any place that you want people to find you or do you hiding out? Or is he right? Dress on the podcast. To us to talk to you. What's your favorite restaurant? No, it's there you then you want to say before we go.

Is there a place that you hang out with your children? Do you like people to come up to say before we go? Is there a place that you hang out with your children? Do you like people to come up and say hello to you? Just my home, which is. No. Is there a part of your child that you held onto while dipping them in the River Sticks, which makes them almost completely invulnerable except for one small part? Yeah, yeah.

People should know. People should know that. Yeah. Especially your enemies. I don't know. Oh, yeah, especially your enemies. I don't know. Oh, I my I got a newsletter. The sub-stechnoes letter, which is phenomenal. It's so well written. It's so funny. It's so honest and like heartbreaking and it's so awesome. I'm worried about my friend sometimes. I'm like, is Ali okay? But at the same time, it's very funny.

And so what's the name of your substep? It's called, that hurts my feelings. Not to be cute and fused with, you hurt my feelings, starting Tony Colette. You know, but it's called that hurts my feelings. And the, it's, I, as a reader, I love it. I'm always excited to see it. And then I feel bad for Halle because I'm like,

oh, no, she's going through some rough stuff. Hey, we're all going, that's the point. We're all going through rough stuff, guys. I see you. You see me. Am I a bookie saw? Because I'm spiraling. But then you should, if you haven't, if you haven't checked out Halle's sub stack, you should. It's really fantastic. Okay. Well, yeah, I know. Yeah, it's co-signed. And also check out maximumfund.org for other great podcasts on our network. Lookup Howell Dottie or Lydia Burrell or Alexander Smith.

You decided what the real name is there. He's our producer. He does a great job for us. And just thank you for listening. For the Flapphouse, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Ellie Kaelin. I'm Holly Haglund. Okay, bye. See you in the funny pages. I'm so surprised you didn't say, shall we? What? What do you got? Matthew Mama? Yeah, yeah.

Okay, let's just roll right into it, shall we? Sorry. I earned. Just making myself that, I'm sorry. Sounds a good time, okay? Yeah, man, I'm ready to. Is that a prime now? Yeah, very interesting. Joe Buns in America. I'm just making myself that. I'm sorry. Sounds a good time, okay?

Yeah, man, I'm ready to. Is that a prime now? Yeah, very interesting. Joe Buns in America. Wow. Trench it, okay. Thanks, for Andin. That's what the thing, right?

That's what they say, yeah. Maximum Fun. A Worker-owned network of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you. Maximum fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.