The Flop House - Episode #373 - Death on the Nile

Episode Date: July 2, 2022

The Mixed-Review House rolls on with Kenneth Branagh's second outing as Hercule Poirot, Death on the Nile. It's a character he seems committed to playing, despite seemingly having no particular understanding or affinity for the source material. But hey, at least he's keeping the CGI pyramids industry in business!Wikipedia entry for Death On the NileMovies recommended in this episodeMad GodMiami ViceHorror Express

On this episode we discuss death on the Nile Uh-oh guys, I think I watched the wrong movie. I watched death on the Neal. Did your movie have a guy named Neal in it? Oh Oh, Nelly, okay. Oh, doctor Hi, this is Charlene, Stewart's husband. Take two. Hi, this is Charlene Wellington, and I just wanted to make a statement on behalf of the Flop House regarding the recent Supreme Court decision about Roe v. Wade and if you are shook, we are also shook. And I just wanted to mention that we don't quite know the way forward, but there is one, and we're all here together. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flop house. I am Dan McCoy. Hey, it's me Stuart

Wellington recording live from Detroit, Michigan. And it's me, Elliot Kaelin recording live from Los Angeles, California, but that's not a like a new thing. Well, my thing's different. I'll tell you. Yeah, what you do the Detroit suit. I am I'm here in Michigan. My parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary That's a big deal guys Expecting a plausible break. I was expecting a blow Alex just looped that in throwing the blow's break But so they my cousin who owns a little bit of lakefront property on lake

uran hosted a family get together and i got to see a lot of my family who i have not gotten to see in years uh... and i got to write a fucking jet ski and let me tell you i used to think people in jetskies were assholes change my mind they are they are thinking the right way they They are living life to the fullest. Of course, it's also possible that you're an asshole now. And that's why you don't see them.

Oh my God, you made the shift. Oh no, do I have to look at myself in the mirror if I become an asshole? It's fine, just check your button the mirror and see, but you know, so just like in the movie, just like in the color. I know Jackson's on there. Just take a mirror and just check your undercarriage and see what you find down there

So what do we do here on this podcast we talk about to peek at Kansas and Let me say this is a Is a podcast where we talk about a critical or a commercial flop where we talk about a critical or a commercial flop that usually of recent provenance. This month has been kind of more or less the flop house and more of the mixed review house. I would say that old and this film, Death on the Nile, kind of reviews were a wide range. You know what? You could have liked them. I don't want to jump ahead, but yeah, you could technically call this movie old because it takes place in the past No, I mean you called a new world You call any movie all pretty

Dan what you're saying is that the last the last couple episodes haven't reached our full remit of bad movies And we haven't said much about to be could Kansas at the time. So if you're a flop house, we're going to be disappointed. The middle eye to crisis. Yeah. And you're disappointed that our movies lately have not been full-fledged flops. Well, maybe come join us August 7th. August 7th we're going to be at the Bell House in Brooklyn in New York. We're going to be talking more. Be as that's right, the movie America loves to hate in the form of memes. It's going to be August 7th. That's a Sunday

doors 630 show 730 at the Bellhouse from Brooklyn. Go to the Bellhouse ny.com. I believe it's the bellhouse ny.com for tickets. That's the Flapphouse live. Our first live show in two years. Yeah. And you can see it. If you come on down to the Bellhouse, our favorite venue over in Brooklyn, New York. And you'll get to hear us say stuff like starring Jared Lido, a tradies and other kinds of great jokes like that. Don't give them a waste to. Oh, no, I'm already gassed out.

I'm going to need to have some of this in. But as with all live shows, we will have all new PowerPoint presentations beforehand that will not be with the episode when we eventually release it. So come on down or you'll never see them. You just won't know what we made jokes about. Okay, there'll be a higher caliber than that leader. Jared leader. Thank you for addressing that our mission creep, Elliott. No, no, no, the live show. Stuart, have you checked your levels since you started holding

the microphone like a cool dude? Is it? Yeah, you know, I mean, they're right on your shirt, it's a little hot. A little hot. I mean, the microphone is almost in your mouth. Yeah, so. I figured I figured our cool editor-old just fix it all in post. Yeah, that's me this time. That's me this time. Oh, I'm so worried about it. Oh, no. Oh, no. Alances on vacations. We do. However it policing. We're not known for having audio issues, right? So no, never. You're big tech breaks.

That never happens. Oh, wait, hold on. Last week. And this week, to pull back the curtain, we've had two Zoom mishaps already. Hopefully, I think we fixed it. They're called ZIS-haps. OK, thanks, Zima guy.

Anyway, just on the not all. Well, you never wonder what the Zima guy. Anyway, just on the night. Well, you never wonder what the Zima guys up to these days? He's probably living in a very real town we passed up here in Michigan, Zil Wauki. Not, I'm not making that up, I saw it. You think he's just like, huh? Zil morning everybody, I'm gonna check the zil.

And his life is like, oh God, to what is his worst me. Yeah, take back this ring to sales. And he's like, I got a good sale more and more checked out every this begins with Zay. Now, now, Zay, Zima guy, if you're out there, please write into the flop house. Let us know how you're doing. You're still putting Z's in front of your words. And for the younger people out there,

write in if you don't know what Zima is. You're gonna point it to you. Yeah. Well, do our best. I think Charlene worked at a place, years ago Charlene worked at a place that had Zima on draft or on tap. So.

Wow. What a heavy time. On zap. Yeah. Yeah, what a world. It's truly a heady. Top. Yeah, what a world. Certainly a zold and age. We've long since passed. For some reason, I don't know why Zima is in trying to hit LA on the side of the head to fix the record.

The side of the Z that it's in trying to my mind with Boku, the like fruit juice that Richard Lewis did ads for and I don't know why. Why are those two things? I remember this. You't remember that one it was probably both on video VHS tape or a ZHS tape that you had thank you like old Ninja Turtles cartoons that you kept watching all the time or something yeah because they advertised a lot of Zima and Boku grown up drinks revertisering Ninja Turtles quite a bit sure sure. I understand that a lot of people like him now based on what you call it, the show, curb your enthusiasm.

But, uh, Zurb your enthusiasm, yeah. What's his face? The guy you're talking about, who? Richard Lewis. Yeah, I never, I, I lived through peak Richard Lewis and I never understood it. I'm like, what, there's something here that I'm missing. People are telling me this man is a comedian. I'm not sure what? There's something here that I'm missing. People are telling me this man is a comedian.

I'm not sure what's happening. Wow. Wow. I mean, treasure. Are you? I didn't know I got an invitation to the roast of Richard Lewis. I'm sorry, do you feel differently about Richard Lewis? Do you put on a comedy special that Richard Lewis?

And you're like, ha ha ha ha. hilarious. Not particularly, but still. Yeah, I have to make sure that my knees are really in trouble. I'm not scared if I should let Richard Lewis and you're like, ha ha ha ha, hilarious. Not particularly, but still. Yeah, I have to make sure that my knees are re-inclosed. I'm not scared to come at me, Richard Lewis. Yeah, I have to wear a course that to keep my sides from splitting too much when I listen. But, so this is not just a podcast

where we rag on Richard Lewis for some reason. We talked about it in the video today. I just didn't understand what his deal was. I'll tell you when I laughed at Richard Lewis. I feel like his comedy routine is him old facetly explaining his deal. Yeah, I think so. I guess I just didn't find it funny. I found it not exactly like an emo philips type riddle that you have to unlock. Oh no, I find emo philips hilarious. That's how they're different. He's even felt some master joke right? Richard Lewis made me laugh once when he, in Robin Hood, minute tights, when he says, I have a mole.

That man was like. And I was like when Tracy Omen says, she changed her name to Latrine. It used to be a shit house. He goes, that's a good change. A very good change. Okay, Richard Lewis, you know what I'm back there. You're pretty funny in Memphis.

When he's in the hands of second of, of second-tier Mel Brooks, you like him. So, okay, everybody. Let's talk about this movie today. It's called Death on the Nile. I am so curious to talk to you guys about whether you found this movie as blindingly obvious in its mystery as I did.

Oh, I certainly did. Audrey early on was like, so what do you think happened? And I said, basically exactly what happened. I mean, there's more than two other murders that are just to cover up the initial murder. But anyway. This is, this is, it's a very dour mystery. It's not a fun mystery.

The end, the, and a part of this is, they didn't know when they cast Army Hammer that he would become synonymous in the minds of America with drinking human blood. But still, there's an- And devouring people's bodies, it's a cannibal thing, right? Oh, that's his-

It's actually a vampiric thing. It's kind of shocking how many of the people cast in this movie have taken a turn in public opinion. Yes, because let's see, sure, right, was an anti-vaxxer. Uh-huh. And Russell Brand is, I asked him, is himself. I mean, but they knew that going in. And Russell Brand is an asshole.

It is himself. I mean, but they knew that going in. That's not a new thing. That's, that when, when Russell Brand is one of the more restrained performances in the film too, it's an interesting movie that you're watching, not that they're, not that they're particularly over the top performances, but let's get into it.

Death on the Nile, the movie that it deers you, not to guess the mystery ahead of time. The movie that is, it's like, if, as we've said, I think before in the podcast, we've certainly said it in private life, that with mystery TV shows, they want the audience to know ahead of time, because the audience is like to feel smart.

To set up a movie about a detective who is famous for noticing things that nobody else notices, and yet he doesn't notice that Army Hammer is a creep until he lepers into the film. I'm sure we'll get into it later, but I'm going to make an argument for Erkule Pro Roe being a terrible detective in this. It's this is horrible. So he said he's a, so this is the, I was just going to say this is the, this is the second one

of these Kenneth Branagh, Herkule Pro movies. And I've not seen the first. I'm not going to see the first. I've not seen the first. I would say on par with this. They're very similar in style tone and quality. His mustache is a little more walrus-like. And that one, whereas this mustache looks like he just taped another mustache over an existing mustache.

It has looked like that. It looks like he at some point might remove one mustache and throw it like a battering. Yeah. Yes. It's very straight. And as with all reboots, you've got to explain the mustache, which I've.

I got to say, the opening sequence, which is a flashback, is the first time I've ever seen a fucking origin story for a fucking mustache. That is a while. That is like, I mean, was it last crusade? I've ever seen a fucking origin story for a fucking mustache I mean I don't was it was at last crusade was the movie that really hammered home the idea that they're like We're thrown in flashbacks. We're gonna explain the existence of every element of this characters Persona only he's had his whip why he doesn't like snakes, but at least there that why it belongs to museum Because it's like oh,, all of this stuff happened and it raps his ex-succession on one day.

And that's kind of funny. Yeah, and also that hadn't, we hadn't seen that so much in movies before. It was like, it was kind of enjoyable. It was so stupid. So if that covered every element of that character's personality, I guess the most important part

of Hercule Perot's personality is his mustache. Well, certainly to Kenneth Branagh, because I will tell you the rest of Hercule Perot as shown in this film is not the Poirot I'm familiar with. Well, so tell me about that because I'm really only familiar with the Poirot Albert Finney plays in the original movie of Murder on the Ornix Press, which I have to say that character is so weird and so bizarre in the way that he does everything and and just he is you get the impression that he is a very off-putting man and that people only have him around to solve mysteries whereas hercopero here is a very he's just a he's just a you know respectable I think that both of the the big movie part rose you've got Albert Fanny and Murder on the Learning Express and you've got Peter Yusanov in the original The Other Death in the Nile and you want to the sun.

Both of those focus on parrots' festityousness. Either like Finney is a little more on the series and Yusanov plays it off her laughs, which is part of the character. But you know, like as you know David Souche is the one that everyone points to as sort of being the defendant. I see the one who did him on TV. Yes. I'm just pictures of him. Just as Jeremy Brett is often point to as the definitive Sherlock Holmes. And Tony Shalub is the definitive monk. Yes. Despite, despite name of the Rose featuring many different monks, none of them are in the middle. Sorry, sorry, Philonius. Anyway, no, but so like the facetiusness, I guess,

is something else that is done in Brano's version, although here Brano interprets it sort of as full OCD. Like there's a scene early on where he must have an even number of desserts. Yeah. But Plaro in the stories is more of a kindly listener. And he's just a gentleman who's a little too, he dresses a little too like Natalie,

but like out of fashion a bit and just like. He dresses like Natalie Walker. Yeah, he has. Yeah, very fashionable. Like cabaret style. Yeah, but he's like a bit of a fancy pants, but like maybe a little out of date, but he's a nice man who people open up to

and that's part of his thing. Oh, nice. And as opposed to going to each person and accusing them of being a murderer. Well, that's what I wanted to say. Yeah. This version of Paro, like usually in a, in a, in a story like this, you have like the,

like the police detective, the dumb police detectives and like homes or Paro or what, like who just want to accuse people because they don't really care. They just want to make a collar. And the main detective is the one who actually cares about the truth. And here, like, it's like, well, we don't have those characters. So let's just have Erkyl Probe-Rogue go and accuse everyone in turn as if he's like, well, you had a good explanation.

Now, onto the next person, I'm going to accuse him. Just he's like, barely around the place like a, like a rhino. Like, I don't know. He's incredibly unsophisticated in the way that he gets information from people and Literally dead bodies have to like fall in front of him almost like you know Evan is these to be dredged up out of the sea by the end of this thing Five people have died. I do not think it was a successful case in the Yeah, now if I'm going on his on his best of lists I think this is a successful case in the Aels of K-Sclose. Yeah.

Now, if I look on his best of list, yeah, yeah, I don't. I don't. I don't. Does top 10 best Rikuparo cases. This is not as most effective.

Uh, the so if I, if I don't, maybe this is better at the end of the episode, but if I was going to like take a dive into hercule poro stories, where should I start, Dan? Stories like the book. I mean like everyone movies or TV shows watch the watch an episode or two of the David Sushay TV show. I mean like they look it's gonna be that kind of a little too slow, cozy feeling, British production, but David Sushay is a great actor, so it's fun to watch him do a version of the character. I mean, look, I don't, I don't think that movies have to be

accurate to the original, necessarily, but there has to be a reason or improvement, or like, if it's something like Batman where we've had like 82 Batman by now, you want to find a new angle on it. So maybe you, you know, go a little nuttier with the angle could be put Colin Farrell on the angle and I don't feel. But we haven't had, we haven't had Pauro on the screen since like in the movies at least, since like the late 70s, early 80s. So it's like until murder on the

war and express the new one. Yeah. So like it's weird to me that this version is so unrecognizable. But anyway, well, let's talk about it. Let's get into the plot of this movie, huh? Because it is it is a movie like I said, it is daring you to imagine a more complicated mystery than actually is brought forward. But we begin, it's October 31, 1914. That's right, Halloween and the trenches of World War I. The fact that this Halloween goes unremarked upon. You want to see something really scary? Here's what's really scary.

Man's inhumanity to man. Thanks Kenneth Branagh. Anyway, they're in Belgium, and there's all these soldiers and muddy trenches at Ravens and this part's all in black and white and the French army cat Or maybe it's the Belgian army whoever I don't remember it was a French or Belgian captain Because his poros supposed to be Belgian or French? He's Belgian Okay, so it's the Belgian army They get the order to attack this heavily guarded bridge in three hours

They're gonna the winds gonna shift. They're gonna gas it and they're gonna attack and they should expect heavy casualties And poor row who's one of the soldiers and doesn't yet, does not yet have a wall-receined mustache. He notices that the birds are flying around in such a way that it shows the wind is going to turn early because the birds always fly this way for the word. He goes, if we attack now, then the wind will push our gas forward and hide us. Basically the same plan, but let's do it now instead of in three hours. And are they going to do it?

They do it. And they manage to push the Germans back. It's a successful advance. But then his captain trips a trip wire that blows him up and blows the bridge up. So it was kind of the waste. And blows off some of Faroe's face. As we find the next scene where he's in the hospital, he's visited by his fiance, Catherine, who is either English or is just being played with an English accent because everyone in Europe in an American movie, unless you make a point of it, has an English accent. And just as everyone in ancient Rome has an English accent.

And he didn't, he goes, oh, I didn't want you to see me this way. My face has been scarred. It's not that badly scarred. It's scratched up. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm gonna go the opposite direction. It's pretty gross. His cheek when he turns. Yeah, cause I'm hasn't healed yet. Yeah, well, he turns his face.

His cheek is still open. I'm like, I understand that this is like an army, like makeshift hospital, but someone should probably stitch that up because it is an open wound. They should have given him some medical care. And then when I turn it over, I'm like, is he gonna become a fucking dead pool?

What's going on here? And then she's like, oh, you know, you could grow a mustache to cover it. I'm like, honey, gonna become a fucking dead pool? What's going on here? And then she's like, oh, you know, you could grow a mustache to cover it. I'm like, honey, that is not gonna get covered by mustache. Although it magically is for the rest of the movie. It does in the movie. That's a thing. And that's what's going to say,

it couldn't have been that bad because this mustache does manage to cover nothing. It's not that big a mustache. Except for then, at the end, you know, leap to spoil the whole hurt. We do see his un-Mistached face later on in the movie and again that must ash would not have covered the scars that we see no at best a beard might have gotten some of it anyway uh... here now we go to

London in nineteen thirty seven word color now poros a famous detective he's got a mustache he's returning from Egypt which is confusing since he's about to go to Egypt uh... but i think that's only because so at the, I, what I read in the IMDB trivia was at the end of murder on the one expressed someone says, poor, there's been a death on the Nile. And he, I, and that sets up the sequel, supposedly, except in this sequel, he bumps into the mystery. He's not told to go to Egypt for this murder. And so I think they just needed to explain that away that he was just in Egypt for a different

mystery, but he's going to go back for this one, which is dumb. And so he goes into like a jazz club and that's where we first meet some of our other characters. Let's go through, and while Herkio Puaro is too busy arranging his desserts in a pyramid on his table and having one too many for him to be happy, we meet some of the other characters, we meet Salomey Otterborn, who is a renowned jazz singer,

and her niece Rosalie Otterborn, who says that Salomey's not going on stage until they get paid, which is how you had that at the time, that was how you had to be when you were a black performer. If you didn't get paid before the show, there was a big chance you were just going to get stiff. So that's, and that's, as far as I know, until the end of her days, that's how Ritha Franklin still operated,

was if you wanted to perform, you had to hand her either a cashier's check or a bag full of money, so that then she would count it before she would go on stage, because she'd been cheated so many times in the beginning of her career. And we also meet, uh-oh, some sexy dancers, dirty dancing all over the dance floor,

so the music starts. That's Army Hammer as Simon Doyle and Emma McKee, Emma McKee as Jackie DeBellfort, and they are engaged, and they might as well be having sex on the floor. It is just super steamy, especially for 1937. But I guess they didn't invent sex nowadays. They had it back then too. So.

Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, yeah. So wait, you're talking about the dancing between Emma and him, not even what happens with Gal Gadot. Gal Gadot hasn't shown up yet, but she's about to. Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. And we'll talk about it when it comes up.

Sorry. So, so, so, so Jackie and Simon, they are, they're just all over each other. There is a part where even where Jackie bends down in front of him and he kind of like thrusts his, his pelvis into her butt and it's not like he's moving the 30s. I'm sorry. I mean, maybe I know. Yeah. I want, yeah, his, his tongue rolled out and turned into a little carpet and she walked up and down it. I mean, I mean, the way it's so, it's so obvious. It's so over on, on the nose that his tongue might have, as well, turned into a phallus and gone, oh boy. And then

went back into his face, you know, and so Galgato shows up. She's Lynette Ridgeway. She is a wealthy aress and she's a friend of Jackie to Belfords and she introduces them. And there is instant, instant steam between her and Simon. They get each other. Super attractive. Yeah. As if they were the reincarnations of long lost lovers. And they dance in a very funny choreographed way. Sure, like I like, you know, his old flame is witnessing the new flame and looking sad. And it would be enough for them to like dance close enough in any other movie. I think but like they fall

just short of like doing the dirty dancing lift. Like he actually does lift her up. And I'm like, just short of like doing the dirty dancing lift. Like he actually does lift her up. And I'm like, you just this new lady, you're like dancing like this. But they also, it's also trying to get a job, dude. Yeah, because Jackie then asks that Simon can get a job as the caretaker on her new estate. She did just in her.

And he's got another great, better than the hammer. And dance, I guess. And there is, he is, when he meets Gal Gadot, he is such sleaze-smarm from moment one. From moment one, you can read all over him that he is a bad dude. He is not a sincere, well-meaning person. And it's just like Max von Sido showing up

in minority report where you're like, oh, the bad guy just walked into it. Yeah. Like, oh, the devil just walked in. Great. I wonder if Hiltzer not to be a bad guy. walked into it. Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, the devil just walked in. Great. I wonder if Hilton not to be a bad guy. Oh, your name's Lewis Seifer, huh? Okay.

Let me just check. Let me just check. Let me just check. Yeah, there is a ticket here for a D evil. That's your name. But it's the D stand for it. It stands for devil. So your name is devil evil.

Yes, but I'm a perfectly nice man. And I should be your friend. Okay. And in the end of the movie, I can't believe devil evil. Yes, but I'm a perfectly nice man and I should be your friend. Okay. And in the end of the movie I can't believe devil evil betrayed me And so yeah, but there's a part in that dance where Gal Gadot like turns around and walks forward a couple steps And he walks forward behind her and then he puts she puts her hand on her shoulders or rice versa But it's like a choreographed move. It's not it's it's a silly dance Anyway, poros watching them dance then cut to the Nile six weeks later

We get pyramids up the ass shot after shot of the pyramids. Um, I'll lower it. Yeah, it's it's man They throw in so many big like sweeping digital shots like this. Yes, and it's like who is this for? Let's talk about the digital shots because I looked it up They were going to shoot this in Morocco. It was actually shot in England. And one would think, oh, this is like a COVID thing. This was all shot in 2019. So it wasn't even a COVID issue.

They just held the movie for a while. Decided to not have anything real. Like I think that there are like a couple of shots that are peppered in there that some second unit picked up Yeah, wait that that shot of a crocodile eating a bird out of the air like Actually a bird out of the air that was real right very realistic The crocodile said sorry folks Don't worry, don't worry everybody. We'll get back to the story in just a moment. How you enjoying the picture?

The crocodile, it took her to the wheel as soon as she got her. When the crocodile turned to the audience and said, it's a living and then went back into the water of it. Yeah, and then Hulk Hogan came out and like, hey, crocodile, stop eating all those birds. You let people watch the movie. They pay good money. Let people enjoy the movie. Or the Hulkster's gonna go wild on you.

So here's what got to me about these pyramid shots. Every time they go to an Egyptian site, they go to Abu Sintal and stuff like that. The camera swoops around like drone type shots and it looks really fake, but also it's like create the feeling for me that I am with these characters at the base of these monumental ruins. And shoot it from below with the characters so that I feel like I'm there. When you're swooping over it, I'm like, did I just, am I watching now like a demo reel for GoPro? Like what's going on? It's from no one's point of view. It looks weird. It makes everything look fakie. And it takes these things that even a CGI version of the Sphinx that pyramids should look impressive next to your characters. And it just kind of

minimizes all of them, you know? Yeah, I mean, look, there's a certain beauty to the fake images, but it's like a chinsy beauty, like, you know, I don't know, like it's just cheap digital art, you know. I'll tell you the movie, I'll tell you the movie felt to me the same way that a movie poster looks to me where everything looks kind of airbrush and weird and it almost gets to the point of like a 1980s Playboy centerfold where the women's faces and bodies have an airbrush to the point where they no longer look like a photo yeah, well It all looks super slick and smooth and a glossy kind of like on not in a fun way not like a lossy fantasy world way. But movie poster, I think, is a good correlation because it also, like, in a lot of these shots, I have no idea what plane any of the characters are on or if they're anywhere like, yeah, just

there's the sense of space doesn't make sense in a lot of times. Yeah. And I think that really is to the detriment of a thing where part of the excitement is the location, is the idea that they're in an exotic location You know, and as you know, we sit it's the 21st century and we shouldn't exoticize foreign cultures But the Egypt is still a very exciting location, you know, like you can't get over how exciting the pyramids and the Nile and the Sphinx and all that stuff are So to to make it turn into movie poster kind of postcard stuff is is disappointing. But anyway, Poirot. He's got a duet of pleasures. He's got a table full of sweets and he's got a view of

the Sphinx. Does it get any better than that? Unless you get a mixed up and take a bite out of the Sphinx. Maybe that's why it doesn't have a nose. Poirot just bit it off. It turns out it's chocolate though. Oh, yeah, it was all chocolate really. It's amazing. It doesn't melt in that hot Egypt saying that hot Giza son. Well, it's been Mars-Ban on top. His view of the Sphinx is wrecked by a kite. And that's when he noticed, that's only when he knows this is the first time that there is a man who has climbed halfway up the pyramid to fly a kite.

It's ridiculous with no gear. You can do this solo. They just let you do that. There's nobody else there. I guess I mean, it was the time when, I mean, this is the reason now that I think you need to have guards and stuff, letting you in, you know, a certain number of people at a time. Because I wasn't created.

It's true where, yeah, because Boog just fell in wrecked Old Ruins. And he finds out it's his friend Boog, who's kind of like a rich cat about. And Dan, is this a character from the other movie? This is a character I had to go check on this. He, he was in, I mean, I didn't have to check these in the other movie.

On the plural, he's regular, but he was surprised. But he's also in, he's in murder on the orange express the film. He's also in the book murder on the orange express was something that I checked. This actor is the character of a book. Because I checked it because like, and so much as, uh, Plurro has a Watson figure, he has his friend Hastings who is like a sort of a English, like he's, I think he was a soldier,

but he's also kind of a birdie whooster vibe. He, you know, he's like, anyway, kind of a kind of a, kind of a not, not too bright rich guy. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, but, you know, a nice, a nice not too bright rich guy a little bit Yeah, but you know a nice a nice sporting man who backs power up and He was not though in the the book of death on the Nile They they just transported this character on there like oh, we need more you know consistency between the movies I guess so it's kind of like with with the the Pirates Caribbean movies, where they were like, we gotta bring back every character. All the characters you loved, like those guards,

the soldiers, they're in all of them now. That English territorial governor, whatever, you know, what a weird miscalculation. And you know what, people loved about this pirate movie with skeletons in it. All these characters that have nothing supernatural or distinctive about them. Bring them all, I mean, good for those actors, you know, that they got, they got. all these characters that have nothing supernatural or distinctive about them.

Bring them all, I mean, good for those actors, you know, that they got the idea. Yeah, do you think it was, do you think it was just like a, like, those actors just got a really bad ass contract signed? And they're one, I think that's a lot of us. Our hands are tied. So, so, book and his mom and at Benning playing Eufemia, she's a painter. They are there because they're part of the wedding celebration party for uh... some people for some rich people they know for a cousin of theirs or something

anyway or just someone their friends with and she has an english accent yeah and that being a english accent yes but she uh... doesn't in real life no it really does not have a and can it all has uh... french accent real life. No, in real life, she does not have. And Kenna has a friend, Jackson, Belgium, Belgium, but he has in real life, he has an English accent, but this he has a Belgian accent. Okay. Yeah, I was reading about. I mean,

I have, you're going to have to clarify a couple more accents. Okay, well, we'll get to them. We'll get to them. But they're part of this wedding party and book being being the kind of rich asshole that he is invites, poro to come along with them on this trip through Egypt that is not their trip like they're they're part of a larger a larger group and there's a there's an oh at this point there's an overhead shot of a pyramid where I actually had that optical illusion where even though it is pointing out it looked like it was pointing in like it was yeah and and that's what me or loso tap wants you to think. Exactly. Up to that point, I wrote my notes,

most interesting part of movie so far. So that brief inadvertent optical illusion. And the second most interesting part comes up soon, as we see that French and Saunders, the English sketch duo and everybody in the United for this film. But that I was leaving. That's it for Bob and David show up in the post. I was waiting for Joanne alumni to show up in the post. I was day up exactly.

I was just waiting for Joanne alumni to show up to complete. To complete Jennifer Saunders' other friends. But anyway, so they go to a hotel where we see all sorts of stuff that's set up. A man sends a sneaky telegram and there's and French and Saunders check in. And one of them is a socialist and the other is her kind of nurse made. And a guy and Russell Brand is repeating an affirmation into a mirror. And there's a French lady who has a fancy jeweled necklace is her kind of nurse made and a guy is and Russell brand is repeating an affirmation into a mirror and there's a French lady who has a fancy jeweled necklace and all sorts of stuff. Anyway, the important part is its Simon's wedding party, Army Hammer,

but wait a minute, that's not Jackie who he married. He married Gal Gadot. Oh no, Lynette Ridgeway, Jackie's friend, uh oh, stole this man away. We introduced some of the other characters book literally leans into four oh and just whispers to him Who some of the other characters are and why they might have an issue with Lynette? Yeah, awesome very active Christine just a character being like let me explain the motives of everyone here There's there's read there's Lynette's cousin in quotes because they were raised together as if they were family But really it's because his family worked for her as Andrew who kind of now runs the family business. There's Salome, also as a mustache.

Yes, also as a mustache, but it's a much more minimal mustache. Not as minimal as army hammers. If you had kind of like a wonder bread growth chart of moustaches, you start with army hammers, we're just kind of a pencil mustache. Then we go to hammers, we're just kind of a pencil moustache. Then we go to Andrews, which is the kind of moustache my dad has. And then it would go to Kenneth Branagh's moustache, which is the kind of moustache that I'd animal, then undersea animal.

Older sort of a warthog. Carry around. Carry around. Carry around. You can see needed to let sell it. Yeah, yeah. You know, that's a disguise. You need to buy some beer.

I see, I see, yeah. Because there's a picture of that word hog at the front that says do not sell to this word hog. And so he puts on a mustache and the guy checks it. You know, you're a different word hog that word hog doesn't have a mustache. Exactly. Anyway, the otterborns are there to entertain because it turns out Rosalie otterborn. The niece is an old schoolmate of Lynette's. There's Dr. Windelsham, who's Russell Brand, who used to be engaged to Lynette,

and she broke that engagement for Simon. Or there's some other ones. Anyone, everyone's having a great time until Jackie shows up. Simon's ex-fiance, horrifying Lynette, and throwing them off to such a point that they all leave, that they just cannot, they can't have fun anymore.

They've got to go. The next day they're all at some kind of, you know, Egyptian bizarre, Herkyl Poros saves Lynette from a CGI snake, that almost bites her. Oh yeah, it was really scary. That's one of the many moments where I'm like, I don't know that this movie understands why people like Kozumi mischreeze.

Like they feel they need to like beef it up with like a snake attacking her. Well, I think partly because this movie, it's spoiler alert as we get to it, the murder doesn't happen until an hour into the film. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. It's the four the murder, which is. And you would think you would spend that time like getting to know these characters and building a puzzle box.

No, no, no. Most of the time, it's been watching them dance to music over and over again, or there's a lot of wealth porn. Like most of the movie is wealth porn. It's the idea of like 30s rich, you know, you get on a boat and you have everything you want in the world on the boat. It's like 50 Shades of Grey that way,

where the movie is not really about transgressive dominant sex. The movie is about, look at all the stuff which people have, isn't it amazing? I have a private plane, I have a my own boat, I have a castle, that kind of stuff. And they, so Simon and Lynette, they ask for a road to help them with Jackie who has been following them the whole trip and Lynette is and for I was like well I saw of crimes. She has a committed one. I don't know what you want me to do I'm not a bodyguard. You know

I guess we got LA at Halloween costume picked out. Yeah, I think I'll be, I'll be, I'm gonna be poor row, the poor man's version of poor row. And Lynette is like, I'm sure Jackie's gonna commit a crime. Stick around and a pro talks to Jackie to kind of try to convince her to go away and she's like Simon still loves me. I know it and I still love him. And look, I have a gun and And like this, it's then pro.

Wild, wild choice. Yeah. And pro, he tells the the doils, Simon and let me just go home. You're rich. Why do you have to get about the Nile? Just go to your house and enjoy being rich at home. And some Simon's like, yeah, let's do it. And he sings a song about Duplasson. Yeah, Du Boisong, those are song, he he he. Oh, it's amazing to me. Every time. So there's a period when my kids were really into beating the beast.

And they always want to listen to Little Mermaid. And they always want to hear the music. And I was always baffled me that this character got a song. This fish chef who only shows up to terrorize Sebastian the crab for a short amount of time, that he gets a song, which is nuts. Yeah. There's, and who else gets songs?

Sebastian gets two songs under the sea and kiss the girl, which of course, he's an amazing singer. There's a great song. And Ariel gets, I think just one song, right? Part of your world. Did she get any other songs in the movie? She's the star. You got her song.

Yeah, her song gets a song. She gets a great song. I'm going to work with her. But that, so Sebastian wins the number of songs. On the second, it's a three-way tie between Ariel Ersala and this chef who does not even have a name. I like to think that Maken and Ashman had this song. They're like, oh, we wrote this song for a French chef singing about fish.

We have it in the trunk. We just got to work it in our new next project. Is there any way we can use some of that material from that singing restaurant? We wrote material for that closed first night. They said it'll be like Jekyll and Hyde singing instead of scaring. Yeah. Let's kind of exist somewhere, right? There's got I mean, there are. Oh, there's some restaurants, I guess. Sure. Yeah. That's kind of exist somewhere, right? There's got, I mean, there are some other kind of restaurants.

Oh, there's some restaurants, I guess. Sure. Yeah. And so, because that's exactly what you want while you're eating is someone singing your face about the food. I don't even want people like that close to me singing when I go to see a musical. I don't like it when they go on the audience.

I don't want it. I hate that. I don't want to press your hands. Not a fan. I want to sit in the darkness and be an observer that doesn't exist in the reality of the play. So, anyone who doesn't like the voice. The boy who never thinks like,

you don't ever think like, maybe it's time for me to be on stage. I'm on the spot. I will say the one time I like that was when I went to see David Kromers production of Our Town at the Barrow Street Theatre, where there were a couple of the seats were on stage and they gave you one line on a card that you were supposed

to say when they told you to do it. And I was like, Oh, okay, I like this. That was a surprise. I didn't think it was going to happen. It was I didn't have to I didn't have to react in the moment to a performer trying to embarrass me in front of the audience. I didn't have to dance and pretend I was having a good time where that I'm pretend I was hypnotized or something.

So anyway, that was a chronic breaks protection of our town. David Kronin was production of our town. There's no props. props you have to imagine all all the syrup something that looks like a bone that you stick into your but i know it's a it's a down it rovers corners we've got the newspaper and we've got

the school and of course we've got we've we've got the cars people crash into each other so they can have sex with each other we've got that sort of umbilical sack that people just use as a swing. Well, it's called an arcade, but oh, it doesn't look like any video games I've ever seen. Now, I want to go back and experience one day of my life. The day I put a videotape in my belly. So, I guess this.

So anyway, they say we're not going to leave our party. Instead, we're going to have the party on a boat. They all end Lynette for some reason dresses up as Cleopatra and just has a laugh pretending to be Cleopatra. Just for like a second. She does like a full wig and everything. And then she gets up on a scaffold. She's like fine.

She's like, complete outfit done. Yeah, and she's also playing Cleopatra if Cleopatra was 15 feet tall. She's another funny choice. complete out of it done. Yeah, and she's also playing Cleopatra of Cleopatra was 15 feet tall. Which is another funny choice. That's just to get up a scaffolding with this long, long gown. Anyway, they all go to big steamership.

This is when the wealth porn really kicks in because it feels like for like 20 minutes. It's just watching the guests enjoy themselves as Lynette's French assistant leaves to go get the luggage. And we hear kind of, you know, 30s bluesyy type music playing and it just goes on for a long time watching them play shuffleboard and dance and eat fancy food. Anyway, Quarro, we see him looking at a picture of his of his fiance Catherine. We know that they're not married because he sat all the time and it turns and he's been brought on the trip ostensibly because Lynette doesn't feel safe on the boat.

She doesn't trust her other guests. So she needs someone to protect her. Why not a kind of a feat Belgian man with a big mustache who has up to this point, I guess he saved her from a snake. So he's the only one she can trust. I feel like his skill set is based more on after the effect there, right? Yes, he's much more about solving the crimes that he's not the

he's not the future police from minority report that can go in and stop the crime before it's committed. He's very much a yeah, more of a traditional detective who needs something to happen. A lot of minority report content in this episode. I like it. You know what? It's it's just the time it's having revival. It's we're living in the age of minority report and yeah.

Talking about Max on side out Colin Farrell. Tommy C you you know, the whole game Peter Sramar, the whole game. The whole game getting your eyes swapped out, even though it doesn't really matter because you have to bring your old eyes with you. It's a pretty big thing. Yeah. They're like, hey, we're putting these new eyes in you.

Don't take your blindfold off for 24 hours. And he does it anyway. There are no bad effects whatsoever. It's totally unnecessary. What a picture. I love it. Oh, anyway, Steven Spielberg, he makes them anyway. It's like the sort of thing where they're like, don't, if you're taking these pills, don't take it with alcohol. And

you're like, what's going to happen? I'm going to turn a fucking grandma and they're like, I don't know. And you look on the ball says side effects, Gremlin is them. You're like, oh, that. Well, that's when you get all good. You're fantastic voyage, fantastic journey. Yeah, so you can go into your body. Put them into your body. Beat up all those little grim linings.

Yeah, you're fantastic voyage, you're right. You're trying to explain to him, you're like, it's kind of like an outer space that's inside of bodies. Like, so it's like your inner space brother, and you're like, yeah, I guess. It's a little bit, but not as like goofy. The movie, I was, when I was, I was the kid that,

when the song Fantastic Voyage, the cool yo song came out, I was like, what does this have to do with getting shrunk down and being injected into somebody's body? There's nothing about this about being shrunk. So, uh, uh, meanwhile Andrew brings Lynette a contract to sign and she starts to read the contract and Simon's like, oh, just sign it so we can go bang. And Rosalie is like, oh, the Lynette, I knew always read every contract

that was put in front of her and I hope that was not a racist impression I apologize. And- This is generally Southern, which is what she was. Which is what she is. But watch your son, counselor. I'll be on my best behavior. I'm sorry. And, uh, and Andrew takes the contracts away and it's like, I'll give them to

another time when you're paying less attention to them. So everything about his so shady. And, yeah, bring it another time when I'm less suspicious. And book reveals to Porro that he's in love with Rosalie Otterborn, but her mother doesn't approve. And this is one of those things. The reason her mother doesn't approve is, it's basically that he's in love with Rosalie Otterborn, but her mother doesn't approve. And this is one of those things. The reason her mother doesn't approve is it's basically that she's like a singer or she's an entertainer in an entertainment family.

And Rosalie and Salome are both black. They're played by black actresses. And it's a very weird movie that brings up, I don't want you to marry this woman. And she's played by an actress who's black and the character's black. But the fact that she's black doesn't ever seem to be part of in at Benning's problem with it. And it's almost like the movie wants to be diverse, but it doesn't want to actually confront what that would mean at the time. Yeah, no, there is. Yes. And then look, there are situations where colorblind cat casting

just absolutely doesn't need to address it. Well, colorblind cats don't have to address it because colorblind cats can't see color with their cats but it is an interesting problem that sometimes gets brought up the way that they're being treated in this time in reality like it's not

I would rather have the color of like casting the knot but it also brings up questions that the movie does not address it's color of like casting but the movie is not a if at that point just don't don't make the characters that's not a question that the movie does not address. It's colorblind casting, but the movie is not a, at that point, just don't make the characters like Southern blues musicians. Make them, I was reading, and apparently in the book, it's like a British novelist, and I think her niece.

And it's like at that point, just have to be a British novelist, but have it being played by actresses. And that way, the, who the, it's, or go the other way, and actually grapple with the issue, at least give lip service to the reality of what, of what people were like at the time and the way they related to each other. Right. Because that's a problem.

It feels like it's, it's whitewashing history in a weird way, like not whitewashing racially, but like whitewashing in terms of like trying to pretend that people did not hold bigoted, I mean, like not that they don did not hold bigoted, I mean, like not that they don't still hold bigoted views. It was like an entirely different world. And it's strange. It was a whole new world and not in the good Aladdin way. To not acknowledge that.

To bring up another Disney song. To bring up another Disney song. The movie is writing checks that it's not smart enough to cash, so let's put it that way. Yeah, that's a fair way to put it. And it ties into Top Gun, the hit film that's up, that's around now, right? Yeah, Maverick, just crossed the 1 billion mark, baby. That's amazing. Anyway, I haven't seen it yet. I don't have any. But I've seen it. You know, similar to this movie that puts a lot of stock

in mustache, it's well, one mustache,... warned by my own color and i have to say if you're gonna get all up and arms and excited about a must-tash in a movie starring tom cruise i don't know why people didn't go bonkers for Henry Cavill's must-tash in the mission impossible movie affordable amazing must-tash that i would live in dion i've been on the record of the pop-up scene. I was, yes, skewer me up on the bristles

of this beautiful mustache dream. What a fantasy to die on that beautiful mustache. That I've been on the record on this very podcast is saying when they said they had to use computers to erase Henry Cavill's mustache for Justice League because he refused to shave it. I was like, that seems ridiculous. And then I saw that mustache at work

in Mission Impossible. I said, no, correct choice. You should. This is I'm glad that just to see that mustache too. Yeah. Yeah. That would have been. I thought he was supposed to be fucking super. If you switch back and forth, like from no mustache to mustache within a scene, I'd be like, yeah, it's fucking Superman. Superman. Whatever. He's using super powers. He's got super must a, it's got super follicle growth. The rays of Earth's yellow sun allow him to grow his mustache.

It should wilt. And to shave it in his mind. Yeah, it's the shaven by what is it? Like using like a reflective surface to bounce his eye lasers back on him. That's the only way he can shave is with re-reflecting his eye, his feet vision. Yeah, he easily fixed in post. Yeah. So they all go

visit Abu Simbal with you know, the ruins there and Maadon mad and box mom is like, where's my red paint? Which of course is going to be a clue later. And she tells box she's not going to give her blessing for him to be married. And box says, well, I'm going to go public anyway. And his name's book, not box. Booc, sorry, I sorry, book actually, they call it calls it's a book. His name's Booc, not Bob. Booc, sorry. I'm sorry, book. Actually, they call calls it calls in book in the movie. I know I'm not sure.

But anyway, Booc, how is it? Also, apparently it's Geld Goodutt, which seems wrong, but it's not. That's okay. I mean, I'll pronounce it how she says it. But that's like, oh, there's another one like that. Well, I like the way that Stephen Colbert or the rest of his family calls it Stephen Colbert.

That's how traditionally his name is pronounced. But anyway, so Gal Gadot and the others, they're there. Perot kind of flirts with Salome, the blue singing aunt a little bit, and then talks about his retirement gardening plans. And Lynette and Simon are about to have sex on top of the Abusan del Monument, which is ridiculous. Also because they're in plain view of everyone. Yo, I mean, don't get me right. I'm not fucking A plus horny boy, but let's find some place private first sex on the front face of this Monument.

Let's let's let's let's let you know what what really turns to be on honest committing a cultural hate crime by defiling this this UNESCO site with your giz That's what I really want to have happened The constant fear that I will slip on this dust off this rock love him. Yeah Yeah, I don't understand true passion Maybe you need to watch a little movie called crash Yes, so Lynette it Lynette is like I don't know Simon is like, you know I can't get hard unless there's the risk of a mummy putting a curse on us. That's the thing.

So I thought that was what the death was going to be. And never once in the movie is it brought up the idea that they were cursed by defiling the site, which should have been what the movie was about. And so it should have turned out that the parole was wrong. And it's like ancient Egyptian ghost. But anyway, a rock falls and narrowly misses hitting them. And that's when a sandstorm forces everyone inside and Simon suspects foul play.

And I mean, he kind of asked for it. They're about to do it on top of a cultural heritage monument. But anyway, they can pipe down where they want. Yeah, I guess that's true. That's the law. That's the where they want. Yeah, I guess that's true. That's that's the rule. Maybe yeah, at school McDonald's play space during a funeral, you know, anywhere for your married, you can do. You're pretty good. Coming up with those scenarios, Elliot. Maybe you should. I'd be working for browsers. I think it would be a huge set down in my career. Idea man? Just like, Ellie, we just need you to generate 50 locations that sex could be had.

No, the only reason I would do that is that, if they ever didn't like an idea of mine, I'd go, oh, how many Emmys has browsers won so far? Zero, because I have four. What's so, how many writers killed awards does browsers have? By the way, this has got to be a guild-approved production now that I'm working on. How many people do these browsers have?

Tell me Bill Brasers. I assume that's the owner of the company. And they're like, you're right, you're right. We'll go with you. And that's why there's suddenly so many more Brasers videos that are based on like, it'll look like Alvino books or like, setting the Elric world. I mean, I think Johnny Sins could pull it off. I mean he's been like a doctor, a fireman, a horny policeman. Well, well, my I'm here with I'm here with my stepmom in the Star Wars universe. What's gonna happen next? Anyway, there's only one there's only one room for the both of us on the

Death Star. I don't know what's going to happen. Anyway, so they go back to the boat and Jackie is already there. Lynette's like, throw her off and Simon is like, she bought a ticket. We can. But I thought they had rented out the boat. Like I know, I asked I asked Audrey this to him. Like I thought that she you know, she she made a big deal about buying the boat out. It's the same scene where she you know like the trailer and enough champagne To fill the Nile but apparently she had bought the boat out to a certain stop and then like She joins so Yeah, the stalker joins later that's that's that's penny wise and X fiance foolish That's that's the problem so a Lynette and Simon they tell pro. They're gonna go home now

pro has some champagne to celebrate their leaving and he starts feeling sick and Jackie tells pro I still love Simon and he loved me once and let love doesn't go away and Pro says I was in love once and I lost the woman I loved to an attack during the war. She was coming to visit me and her train was bombed, and that loss turned me into the man I am now. So perhaps losing you is what it takes to turn. Well, losing Simon is what it takes

to put your life on the right track. And by the way, this is one of the, look, again, I don't know, man, a better movie, do what you want with the characters but I found it very irritating in this movie that they felt like they needed to like add this haunted backstory to Pauro and like make a big deal about how he's a lonely man who like has a is wears a mask and all this stuff where it's just like you know the great the miss the like the detectives that we remember,

like they're just that thing. They're like this broadly drawn character that is like super smart, cares about the truth and then has like a couple of lovable eccentricities and we don't care whether they change over time. Like we don't want them to. Like the scenario changes around them, you know? I wanted to see him bumble around

and then talk about how there's like a hole in the donut, like a donut I wanted to see him bumble around and then talk about how there's like a hole in the donut, like a donut hole, like in the mug, like that. That's what I want. Something about donuts. Just, I feel like, I gotta say, much of a hint. I'm not gonna talk this way.

It should be called donuts on the Nile. And somebody, like, I'm not big into mystery fiction, so like I kept thinking back to Knives Out, which is kind of built on the same thing. Exactly. And I feel like that movie spent so much, like, it spent time with the characters and established very simple motives

without having somebody constantly telling you that shit. Like, I don't know. Like, obviously none of the characters matter. They're all invented. They all exist in this CGI glossy. But like, it just like nothing, like, nothing matters. But then they try and make you give a shit. And I'm like, that, that doesn't work at all. Like, considering they spend so much screen time showing you how fun it is to be rich in 1937 and, and be on the Nile. And so little screen time, yeah how fun it is to be rich in 1937 and be on the Nile. And so little screen time, yeah, making you understand or care about any of the characters.

And it's like, it kept reminding me of the recent version of Taker Taylor's Sultry Spy. Yeah. I couldn't remember the order. Where it was like, obviously Colin Firth's Willard is the mole because he's the biggest name in the cast, other than Gary Oldman. And it was kind of similar here. What was like, none of these people are kind of, none of them are of the same stature

as the other characters in terms of screen time, in terms of the force that they're allowed to show on screen. Convincing motive, as they know. Yes, in terms of, well, that the ultimate killer has the most obvious motive of all of them. When it's like, yeah, yeah, in terms of, well, that the ultimate killer has the most obvious motive of all of them. When it's like, yeah, yeah, probably your aunt who's pretends to be a socialist, killed you for money or something. I don't know.

Or, you know what, Kenneth Braun, the character who is clearly, who is the milk shop, who's the weakling, clearly, he did it because he's, he's jealous of, of losing his fiance. Like all these characters that, that, there's no reason to suspect them. Well, but also, yeah, like not giving them enough to like sink their teeth into. Like this movie tries to distract you with CGI, Egypt and CGI snakes, but it's like the whole point of making movie like this is

like, all right, if you're gonna make an old fashioned star studded who done it, then like do that, like get interesting stars and then focus, like give them really hammy, meaty roles to play. This movie feels like it's constantly cutting away from like one uninteresting thing to a less interesting way. And this movie has stars, like there's a lot of names

in this cast. There's a lot of, I mean, you could, there's a lot of people you could give real stuff to. And like, and really skilled and great actors. But I'm not a huge, again, murder mysteries are not my favorite type of thing, usually. And I don't love the original. Certainly not in real life.

In real life, I don't like them at all. I'm not a fan of murder at all in real life. But in the original murder, the original murder of the Oriental Express, Ingrid Bergman's in it, at playing this made character. She has essentially this one long monologue that she gives, that won her an Academy Award for supporting actress, because it's an amazing scene.

And other than that, she's not given that much time otherwise, but she's allowed that scene, and it gives you just enough reason to wonder if she did it. And so it's like, you just give each of these characters a moment where they get to shine in and of themselves, as opposed to just set dressing for poor road to bumble around with. And it would have made it a stronger mystery because I wouldn't have guessed who it was within the before the mystery starts. Like, it's the sweaty evil looking guy with the mustache. The guy who's always sweaty and seems like a creep.

I guess it couldn't be him. Oh, it is. Anyway, willing to raw dog it on a fucking monument. Yeah, who am I exactly? Who am I going to suspect of murder? The guy who's the guy who's about to have sex in front of all of his wedding guests on top of an Egyptian ruin? Probably. Yeah. So anyway, they were about to get to the murder. Look, yeah, well, sorry. Sure. That goes, Lynette goes to bed after telling Jackie, she wishes they were still friends. We're about to get to them. What a free. Look, yeah, well, sorry. Sure. That goes to bed after telling Jackie she wishes they were still friends. She says, you're the only one who never cared about my money. And Simon and Jackie have an argument, and he's really mean to her, and she shoots him

in the knee. She's about to shoot herself, and Rosalie stops her, and book goes and gets the doctor, and the nurse, and they take her to another room and give her a sleeping draft. And the next morning, Louise, the maid, a Lewin Lynette's assistant, finds Lynette dead and bed shot very dainty. They just kind of like a little hole with a little bit of blood spattered around it. And the maid's played by Rose Leslie, who was what, you grid on Game of Thrones and she's also a time

traveler's wife right now. Yes, right. Is it? yeah, she's on, she's in time travelers wife. Married to Jon Snow. The character? No, the actress married, yeah, the actress married Kid Harrington. Okay. Oh, I didn't realize it. So it's a real dream house situation.

Yeah, that's good to, okay. I'm, I like knew she had to be someone, but I didn't know, like the funny thing, like whenever I watch a movie with Audrey, she's always like, who's that? And she doesn't mean it in the like old person way of like they're asking who character is who the movie Will explain in a second who that character is and like if they just wait she just she means like who's the Actor and like you know, it's a reasonable question to ask Dan McCoy human IMDB But oftentimes I don't know.

Nine times I attend when I'm like, who's that? Charlene leans over and she's like, that's Chappy Stewart. Oh, that is the name of the movie. I'm like, oh, okay, okay, okay. And we should especially know it because Rose Leslie, this is her second flop house appearance.

She was also in the last witch hunter with one Vincent diesel. So maybe, a few years ago. Yeah. Oh, mom and me, Lenette's dead. We're halfway through the movie and we finally have our death on the Nile The first of a couple Jackie is the obvious suspect, but she was asleep in a morphium. Hey is all night and also the gun went missing After the killing Simon is distraught very fakely and he pleads with Poro to find the killer and also her necklace is missing This jeweled necklace I forgot really to mention, but she has a fancy necklace. Poro investigates, and the maid is like,

I was engaged once, and Lynette paid off my fiance to leave, because she didn't, and she said she was saving me for a man who only cared about money or whatever. And everyone's cabins are searched for the necklace. Poro questioned Dr. Winderscham, right next to Lynette's body, and the meat locker of the ship, and spent a lot of time in that meat locker, which is kind of a hurt locker when Dr. Windersham is there, because he's hurting emotionally.

And each of these questionings, as we mentioned before, are more in the line of like, he just seems to pick someone or random and accuse them. And go, why'd you kill Lynette? And then he's like, okay, and then he moves on. But they almost always give a speech that explains, it kind of makes you think why they would have done it. And yeah, there's a little twist at the end of the video. So actually, for Roe was like, can I see this, it says to Andrew,

can I see the contracts you wanted here to sign, which is not the right accent either. And he says, and Andrew's like, no, and Progo's because the contracts would have given you control of her money. And he's like, how did you know? And pro's like, it's like, I knew it. And I was and I'm not poor.

Poor like, it was, it was obvious, but he, uh, he says, maybe you were stealing from her. You killed her before she could see it. And Andrew goes, I carry, I, because if I killed her, I would have killed her with this gun and pulls out a different gun. And it's not a good argument. Hey, I couldn't have killed her with that gun because I killed people with this gun. pulls out a different gun, which is not a good ex-placation. It's not a good argument. Hey, I couldn't have killed her with that gun, because I killed people with this gun.

Is that way? A gun not like me? Murderer? No, no, no. Or really, that can't be my signature. I use this pen. We could have used another pen. Like, it's Poirot, he deduces that.

I got the impression that he pulled out the gun in a way to also end the conversation and be like be like yeah let's stop this line of questioning because I have a good how'd you like to grow a mustache over the other side of your face buddy let's it goes to both sides of the face I don't know I'm trying to make a threat to stop talking to me uh so uh he goes through all the other ones anyway he deduces... also very obviously that french and saunders are lovers they're not really a boss and and uh... nurse but actually lovers and happen for a long time uh... pro uh... poireau being the hero of course embodies all twenty first century progressive

values so this doesn't bother him with so much of our has an american accent but in real life she has an english accent yes thank you for pointing that out. Added to the big board. And, anyway, eventually, we find out that Salomey Otterborn carries a gun of the same caliber that killed Lynette. And Bancroft finds the missing necklace in her things.

And, uh, reveals. And at, and at Benning, right? That's what I said. Yeah, what I say. You said, and Bancroft. Yeah. I said, I'm sorry, I meant, and that Benning right that's what I said. Yeah, what I say you said and Bancraft Yeah, I said that I'm sorry meant and that Benning and bang crossed his A B's Big stuff. Yeah, that makes sense. Let me sense and that Benning and Bancraft a bear I get them all mixed up and so and uh That'll get all I can't tell the difference between a Bancraft and Alec Baldwin. It's impossible. Yeah, Alien versus better

the difference between Anne-Bank Raft and Alec Paul. It's in Fosamont, yeah. Alien versus Bedditor. RB's rose with a little RB with a big B. Alien's versus Bedditor, you said. Yeah, Aliens versus Bed Midler, whoever wins, we lose. So, Paul Row, this is time for him to reveal to book and Rosalie that he was secretly hired by a net benneng to investigate Rosalie to see if she's fit for book, which is something that nothing before this moment has given us any reason to believe, but that's fine. And he's very flattering. He says nothing but nice things about the

outerborns, but Angberancroft is like, I still disapprove. And Rosalie said that benneng. Yeah. Sorry, I literally wrote it wrong in my nose. And that bending says, sorry, well, there's some other A, Bs we can go. Hold on. AC B C. I don't know. AC B C. That's the you shook me all night long before Christ. Yeah, and so I mean, Rosalie, some back in first. Hey, man, is Latisha writes characters Rosalie?

Is that the character name? Yes, let's see. Latisha writes characters. Yeah, like she's, look, I know that I know that if you find out that someone has been spying on you, you might be mad, but I found it very strange the degree to which they had her character like chew out pro row in a like very personal way when like he was incredibly like kind when talking to her and he was not the person who like

incredibly kind when talking to her, and he was not the person who, and that Benning is the one who tried to set her up anyway. I think you may name back rough, but I think the, that's the one part where the diversity casting worked for me, where she's like, I don't need your approval. Like that, she is not just gonna be like, oh well, you know what, thank you for saying that's things.

She's like, I've gotten aware I am through my own work. I know who I am, and I've had to face my share of, this is not what she says, but it's implicit when she's saying, my share of obstacles, I don't need you to tell me I'm okay. I know I'm good. You're like, that part of it, you know. There's certainly that subtext that adds a lot of flavor to the scene.

It's like the only part of the movie that has subtext. So it was like, grievily slurp, you know. But yeah, I don't know the degree to which like there is been like a personal like I think you are a weird fussy stuffy. Yeah, she does get a little. Hey, and then Benning was the one who was like not approving. He loves you. Anyway, look, yeah, he is a weirdo, but still anyway, also he's not that weird. I think they are they they're all, and- They're all talking about the other version of horror. They've all seen-

Yes. They've all seen the other movies and they're like- They're talking about Poirot as if he's, like, what's his name from the Big Bang theory. You know, as if he is way on the spectrum and has trouble relating socially with other human beings, which is not the case. And it feels like the pooro, the movie, movie wants to give us is one that is like an eccentric

man that doesn't interact well with people, but he does. He's super charming all the time. So it's a very strange for her to talk about him like he's weird. Anyway, anyway, all this argument is interrupted by when they find bump, bump, bump, the body of Louise, Lynette's maid or assistant or whatever, personal assistant. And Andrew accuses the doctor of doing it and they fight while Pororo goes into a sort of detective

fugue where everything gets hazy and he starts seeing clues like he enters his memory palace somehow. And she'd been, her throat had been slashed and she'd been thrown overboard and have gotten caught in Wheels of the steamship and that's how they found the bottom Almost as bad as if she'd been thrown overboard and lost her memory and Kurt Russell finds her and You know, and then he takes advantage of her basically. Yeah, yeah, and so

Poirot and Simon they interrogate book and for And for certain, Poirot now spins the tale accusing book of what was going on. And he says, that's crazy, but I will admit, I did find Lynette's dead body, because I stole the necklace and I witnessed Louise's murder, but I don't want it to all come out. And he admits that before he, and he goes, but if I admit it, what's gonna happen?

And Poirot goes, you'll go to jail for theft and he's like uh... well the killer was and it's shot from someone far away and for o' chases the killer and somehow loses them even though he seems to be two inches behind this killer it's basically it's basically a screen movie at this point it's also like let's let's drag out this interrogation for the longest possible amount of time before you actually says who the killers and like and poor was like. Let me say the thing that will make you not want to tell me who did it. Like, even if you're going to like later on be like, I don't know, maybe you got to turn yourself into like, if you're going to give evidence or whatever, like that's not what you're dwelling on right that moment. If you had built him up as someone who is

it constitutionally incapable of not following rules of some kind, like that the law is ironclad for him. And like if you spent less time trying to explain that he has a wounded soul who doesn't trust love and doesn't feel comfortable loving. And instead built him up as a man who lives by kind of rules and logic and rationality. And so he can't help himself with saying,

look, you're my friends, you can help me with this mystery. But if you stole something, you have to go to jail, but still help me. Well, especially it doesn't make sense considering that, you know, to jump way ahead later on as they're leaving the boat, the guy who was like stealing money from Gal Gadot or what, like he's like, are you gonna turn to me? And he's like, not as long as you return it.

Everything's fine. Like it's like, OK, you were going to make that exception for this random guy who was actually stealing money. But this. But you could say that you could say it's because he's learned the lesson of that his friends has died. And so it's like, possibly, but that is not a good idea. It's a strange lesson to learn.

But anyway, Poirot, he finally does it. He assembles everyone in one room. This is what we've been waiting for the whole time. He has a gun in his hand, which he doesn't really do anything with, thankfully. And he gets Andrew to admit that Andrew was the one who tried to kill them with those rocks. Again, another crime Andrew probably should have to pay for is attempted murder with a huge bolder. Not to mention the inconscionable, the inconscionable bro crime of coitus interruptus.

But it's true what we need to say. Yeah, he was a he's on trial for being a boner killer. Yeah, because you, Andrew, I find you guilty of cock blocking. This is a very serious crime in France, which is not where I am from. I am from Belgium. And he reveals that eventually he gets around revealing the most obvious thing that it was Simon who killed Lynette and Jackie killed the others. But we got shot in the leg. It was all in a labrote plot involving a fake bullet and then a real gunshot. Stage fights to provide Jackie and him with alibis, alibis, and they were been working together

since the start. It was their plan for Simon to seduce Gal Gadot so that they could then kill her and seal her money by far. The most obvious solution the movie could have provided. It is the most obvious thing. Now they're caught. They have one final hug and Jackie shoots one bullet through both of them. So wait, there is a moment of,

okay, so the final moment where she's like, but you have no proof. And he walks over and he picks up, he says the proof is the hankerchief, which Army Hammer had used to muffle the sound of the gunshot when he shot himself in the leg. It had been tossed overboard and was found dredged out of the Nile.

Tost overboard, the hangar chiff lost its memory, Kurt Russell found it to the manage of it, y'all that. And so, and Poirot says that blood, if left in the water, becomes brown, but this paint becomes pink, and he reveals the hangar chiff, which is pink, which doesn't make sense to me because didn't he use the hankerchief to muffle the gunshot to his leg?

Yeah. Well, or maybe, well, then it would have been a lot, right, unless he bleeds paint, which is possible. Well, I think, did he use that, because I think what it is partly is that he used the hankerchief to staunch the bleeding in the first place maybe.

And so he did paint for. Did use it as part of his fake thing with paint, but Stuart is correct also that there was like a thing about a handkerchief muffling the gun. I don't know what that was. Because he had the handkerchief in front one. I don't know. He had stolen the handker if and then he hid it earlier

And he pulled it out when he shot himself from the leg. Yeah, I'm just gonna say it's like that wayside school school story where the kid Counts wrong, but he always gets to the right answer. They're like, okay Plus five and he's like three plus five one two eight nine seven six twelve eight and like okay We got to the right answer, but he used faulty faulty math i think it's the same thing with uh... with this because as poor o got to the exact right answer that everyone on the board yeah and only five people had to do it they might not have had to

kill themselves that's true that's a fair point uh... they just like wait there for a long time like no one tries to take the cut away from They don't try to escape or anything like that like it's and Polro doesn't have like jurisdiction to arrest them like I don't it's I It's also one of those insorts like they're killing this person. They're killing that one kill Polro Like kill the guy who you think might solve the mystery like and no one cares about him He doesn't have a like it's not like anyone on the boat is like, now I'm gonna pick up the mantle of being the great detective.

You can't it be. Who had a motive to kill Poirot, the murderer? Now I must solve who the murderer is, and then I will know who killed Poirot. So you're saying when Jackie used that tiny little 22 to snipe Ooc in the throat, silencing him, she should have just shot Poirot instead. Since the other person in the room was the person she was plotting with and knew who the

killer was also, yes, exactly. She should have shot Poirot. And then maybe shot book two, I don't know. Well, not at that point Booc doesn't have to worry about going to jail. Yeah, that's true. And it's terrifying that he might all forget shot. This is just advice for me. Again, I don't approve murder in real life

But if you are a character in a murder mystery and the detective is on your trail kill the detective like that's I don't know why you're not you're not solving the problem by killing the witnesses that could tell the detective about it Maybe kill them later, but kill the detective is your immediate threat. So just go after him. Yeah, well, hey, although again he certainly is not seem to be working with great speed since three characters die before he encumbers the killers who then kill themselves. So I guess case was good job. They're just. But you know, you know that it follow heat then later he goes, he should have gone, yes, technically, I figured out before they killed themselves, that goes into the pile.

It's a win. Technically technical win. So then we get on the Nile. Yeah, yeah. And everyone gets off the boat the next day and they're all super gloomy. And Poro, he can't bring himself to ask Salome out. It seems like awkward timing, but six months later, we see him at the club watching her rehearse,

and he doesn't have a mustache anymore. Maybe he is ready to interface with the world and reveal himself and no longer hide behind his questionable gifts as a deducer and his hair on his face. Truly, a life-changing adventure for Hurt-Gewel Play-Rove. For the Flop House, I'm Eric Hale. It's a kind of post-script to a movie where you're like, what?

I guess this movie is like required by law to have some sort of character arc. So it's two hours long, nobody gives a shit. Cut that shit out. Yeah, it's nuts. Just cut cut it down we all we care about is the mystery once it's over we don't care anymore as long as I'm just glad they didn't start it with they didn't have and I didn't check the credits to see if there's a post credit scene or anything that they didn't then like bring in another character the end to bring him into a new mystery and have him look at the camera and go

oh here we go again you know I'm glad they didn't do that. Yeah. Okay, well let's do our final judgments with this. Yes, Floro. Guess what? Now there's none. You're saying, and then there were none? Yes. I got to go investigate. I know that's not a, well, roe book, but what are you going to do? It's the Agatha Christie verse. Yeah, yeah. The cat who solved mysteries. No, that's a different author. Or that he's sitting at the table and a old woman comes up and she's like, I just

nice to meet you. I've always wanted to meet you, Polaro. They call me Marple. Bump, bump, bump, like, mm-hmm. Don't do the movies. Okay, so let's do final judgments. We talked a lot about death in the Nile. Yeah, whether this is a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie you kind of like,

here's the thing, like, whatever. You know, whatever. You feel like, you're really breaking K-Fave on us here. This is, yeah. Well, like, if you, here's the, like, here's the tough thing about this, because if you like this kind of movie,

this is gonna be acceptable for you. Like, you get, you get like, not, I don't know, like not a pure high. This has been cut with a lot of other stuff. It's not gonna give you what you want, but it's, you know, it's got some of the elements, but it's kind of baffling to me that anyone who likes this kind of thing would want this version of this

when they're much better versions. Like, I didn't mind it. Like, I kind of, you know, at an earlier time in my life when I was on like, summer vacation and was just lying on the couch. If this came on, I wouldn't be mad, but it's not much of a movie. What do you guys have to say? Yeah, I think that makes a lot of sense. It's almost like if you're a fan of this thing, it's almost like you're a fan of hamburgers, right?

And you're driving down I-95 and you're like, I could really go for a hamburger right now. And you pull in and you go to a Roy Rogers, and you get food that is technically a hamburger. So I guess you're not wrong, but it's not really the best version of that thing. But I guess it's all you got right now, so you might as well enjoy your fucking

Roy Rogers hamburger, you maniac. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I mean, I grew, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm grew up on Roy Rogers Fried chicken. So I'll, I'll just ignore, uh, Stewart's Roy Rogers slander. Although they're, they know, their other products are not great. But, uh, yeah, it's like this movie is not terrible. It's perfectly passable and decent. But the amount of talent involved and the resources involved, you want it, you wish there was's like something more to it than just kind of like a pretty humdrum easy to guess mystery that doesn't doesn't go anywhere and doesn't there's no spark to it there's no life or joy to it you know and you're constantly watching characters

dancing to upbeat music or being rich but there's no there's no fun to it and as I said to my wife when I finish watching it I'm gonna watch a murder mystery I want to have some fun in it like Like life is bleak enough. I don't need to watch a movie where someone's murdered and someone figures out who the other person is if there's not something fun or it's really like exciting or special about it. I feel like if you threw a murder mystery party

in your apartment and had your friends come over, you would get at least as good a performance as out of your friends. Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh, they should call this dinner. I have cool friends, what I'm saying.

You do have cool friends too. Well, your friends are also all the, your friends with the Worcester group. So. Yeah. How lovely here with breaking news on a revolutionary form of entertainment. Professional wrestling. For more, we go to our correspondent, Danielle Rafford. Professional wrestling is the craze that's sweeping the nation, featuring Vista Coss, and

colorful costumes. But who can help us make sense of this world of body slams? Lindsay Calk has the answer. Sources tell us of an amazing podcast called Tides and Fights, filled with discussions of the absurdity of professional wrestling, plus all the sincerity and hilarity that you could shake a stick at. Listen to the Tights and Fights podcast every week. Find it on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

And your old-timey radio. Hey there, I'm Ellen Weatherford. And I'm Christian Weatherford. And we've got big feelings about animals that we just got to share. On just the zoo of us, your new favorite animal review podcast. We're here to critically evaluate how each animal excels and how it doesn't. Rating them out of ten on their effectiveness, ingenuity, and aesthetics. Guest experts give you their takes, informed by actual real-life experiences studying and working with very cool animals,

like sharks, cheetahs, and sea turtles. It's a field trip to the zoo for your ears. So if you or your kids have ever wondered if a pigeon can count, why slots move so slow, or how a spider sees the world, find out with us every Wednesday on Just the Zoo of us in its natural habitat on MaximumFun.org.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, so this podcast, the one you're listening to now is sponsored in large part by listeners like you overwhelmingly. But we also have some sponsors who have businesses and services this time, Squarespace is happy to help sponsor the Flop House. It's the all in one platform for building your brand and growing your business online. You can stand out with a beautiful website,

engage with your audience, and sell anything. Products, content, and even your time with Squarespace. You can create pro-level videos effortlessly. The Squarespace video's video studio app helps you make and share engaging videos to tell your story, grow your audience, and drive sales. You can sell your products on an online store, whether you sell physical or digital products, Squarespace has tools you need to start selling online.

And all Squarespace websites are optimized for mobile content, automatically adjusts, so your site looks great on any device. Head to squarespace.com slash flop for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code flop that's F L O P to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's great. I would, I would tell our audience to do it. Yeah. Well, I did. Yeah, I did do it. And I approve of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, I did. Yeah, I did do it. And I approve of that. Yeah.

Yeah, I like Dan. I'd say go use that product. Hey, Allie, do you want a quick reiterate about the live show? Maybe you got it for anyone who didn't remember what I said earlier that we do in a live show. It's our first live show in about two years. That's right. We haven't performed in front of a live audience in two years. And you get to be there for it if you're in the Brooklyn area. That's August 7th, Sunday, August 7th. At the Bell House in Brooklyn, you know at our old stopping grounds, it's a great venue, we love being there. We've had so many fun shows there, or so looking forward to this show. We're going to

be talking about Morbius, we're more bonnet up over at the Morb House at the Bell House, and it's going to be super fun. So for tickets, just go to the bellhouse ny.com and look up August 7th on their calendar for the flop house. That's going to be Sunday, August 7th at 7.30 p.m. at the bellhouse in Brooklyn, talking more be as along with all other sorts of fun flop house stuff. And remember, this is your chance to be in the flop house because we do a live Q&A during the show where people get up and ask questions. You got a question, comment down to Brooklyn

and ask us and we'll do our best to answer it, but we'll probably do a lot of like, hmm, hmm, beforehand. So that's the flop house, talk and more be us at the Bell House, August 7th. Remember, you can't spell us without more be us. Wait, you can't spell more be us without more BS. Wait. Can I get a little bit more? Yes, but more BS without us.

Hey, there's no I in more BS, Dan. Oh, wait a second. Hold on. If you want more BS, come to more BS. Now you got it. Okay. Good. That was good work shopping.

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, we also get letters. Why don't we talk about some of those? Hey, fuck you. Why not? Let's go. Let's go nuts. Yeah, hey, we also get letters why don't we talk about some of those Let's go let's go nuts This when I can't I I can't find who I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Okay, I guess no thing up so what's new with your kids? No, no, no, I looked for it. I cannot find it. That's why I'm but this is what's called an unforced error

Where I letter that nobody knew about ahead of time can't be found Yeah, oh no, no, I have the letter. I'm saying I can't find the name with the person who sent it It's not it's not on the letter. I I don't need to talk about my whole workflow to you. I just don't have it anyway We go on a recent road trip to the mountains, my oldest kiddo mentioned how much she's grown to love the Flop House theme. It's not that she listens to you guys, but rather because the Flop House is my default podcast of choice when we're on a long trip, and now that Ditty has become the theme song to our family travels. As the great American

road trip is a fairly universal experience for many kids What was the song or songs that you most associated with those hot summer days spent in the backs of Overpacked cars from your childhood Apologies for not having a movie question. That's fine. All the best. All right You know, well, he mentioned the summer days, Dan. Let's also not forget those summer No Shit days, Dan, let's also not forget those summer. No. Shit. Tell me more. Tell me more about the songs you listen to in the car.

Tell me more. Tell me more about the songs you listen to driving far. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah.

My parents had a best of Billy Joel that they played on. While I was in the back listening to a weird conglomeration of early cassette tapes of mine, I had perhaps the oddest one was that I had the Nutcracker Suite and would love to listen to that a lot. I mean, it's not a lot of beautiful music, Dan. No, but I mean, you don't think if kids being like,

let me put it in my nutcracker sweet taste. That reminds Dan, that that reminds me of, I mean, I do. I love the nutcracker when I say, can we listen to it all the time? But the, that reminded me of my, my first year, my first year at the Germanic Writing Program at NYU. One of my fellow students, who I will not name, but he's a lovely person.

The teacher was like, tell me some of your guilty pleasures. We're gonna move you to watch his guilty pleasures. And he was like, well, I love five easy pieces. And it was like, well, I don't think you understood the question, sir. Yeah. No, I also had a couple other ones I had early on, early cassettes of mine were the B-52s,

not one of their early better known ones. I had good stuff, sort of their last cast of having an MTV hit and I had the Wayne's World soundtrack. Was it? Whoa. Does that make me cooler Stewart? A lot of metal songs on the Wayne's World track. No, you're super cool. Yeah, you're the coolest dude in the world. Hey guys, hey, everyone who's listening, hands pretty fucking cool. Okay, let's call them. Let's see with my parents. It would kind of depend on if it was my mom driving or my dad. We did do I did do a lot of road trips as a kid

because I played on a youth soccer team and our club team would play the InSocre tournament. It's all around the Indiana State area. My mother would usually play the Rocky Horror Picture Show tape, which I loved and would sing along too. And my dad's big one would be like, I feel I always think of like Bob Seeger. That's like dad music, right? Bob Seeger. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Old time rock and roll and all that kind of shit. Turn against the wind against the wind. Hell yeah. Yeah. Elliot. Well, I, uh, it's funny that you mentioned Billy Joel because certainly my family listened to Billy Joel a lot growing up in New Jersey. And we go on long trips. But that for whatever reason, the album they played the most was Storm Front.

So like Down Easter, Alexa and stuff, that's tied in my mind to memories of being in the car for long trips. But whenever we started a trip, we had to start with our trip starting song. It was never called that. It's the song My Dad would Play, which was the final countdown by Europe.

And so, yeah, when we'd start on a drive, that's what he would play, and then immediately take the tape out, not interested in any other songs that Europe has to offer. And then the Billy Joel would get pumped in. And the other one is the best of Queen. That was a big tape. Yeah, I can see that. Yeah.

Hey, here's another letter from Alistair. This one I do have, uh, it's from Rick's last name with held who writes Your night of the jugular mini-sode made me think of my wedding. My wife was born interesting explain, okay My wife was born and raised in the Bronx and we were married in the church she'd gone to since she was a child I on the other hand was born and raised deep up state and 70s and 80s portrayals of the Bronx, like Knight of the Judgler, had my relatives believing they were braving and apocalyptic hellscape to attend.

Now this was in 2003, but to refer to them, even now I can't immediately call to mind a fictional Bronx that is not a lawless wasteland or gangster incubator. They were surprised to learn that the Bronx has many non-hellscape neighborhoods, and it is possible to spend quite a lot of time there and never see a burned out building or a baseball fury. My question is, have you ever been surprised to visit a place and find it didn't match the image that fiction had planted in your head, keep it floppy, rick last name was held. I'll quickly say, just off the top, because mine is not interesting,

because it's basically the same one. As someone who grew up in the Midwest, and who grew up in the 80s, and saw all of these 70s versions of New York, by the time I made it here, I, you know, out of college came here, I had assumed it was going to be, yeah, the hellscape that it was painted to me all my life. And instead, I'm like, oh, this is like a very nice collection of neighborhoods. Nothing, nothing, nothing and that is is accurate anymore. I mean, many of the things were never

accurate. There were not all that many baseball theories roaming the streets at any point. But what do you guys want? There's a pretty small number of baseball theories. Yeah, there's a few baseball theories overall. Yeah, like nine. Yeah, I mean, the yeah, I never, I was disappointed to see that I didn't have a good view of the Canadian mountains from the Bronx. I don't know, like, I feel like, man, I, like New York's such a boring answer, but it's kind of true.

Like, I moved, I first moved to Brooklyn and I assumed it was gonna be this like Tough place and it was just kind of a quiet little neighborhood Yeah, I don't know For me so there was so Dan and Stuart know about this and I'm not sure I I mean I went to I went to Mexico when it was an all Cp atoned Yeah, they had other colors there. And it was. Well, similarly, so in 2013, I went, I was part of a daily show,

USO tour of Afghanistan. And I've done Stewart, I'm sure aware of this, but, but I don't know if I've ever mentioned it before the podcast I possibly have. Yeah. Like a, and it was very much, it was very eye opening to see not just that Afghanistan is a very different place than movies would have you Yeah. And it was very much, it was very eye-opening to see not just that Afghanistan is a very different place than movies would have you believe. Like the movies would have you believe that is a place that only exists for American soldiers to show up and constantly be blown up or disillusioned about life. And

that the country itself doesn't have its own things or people that live their own lives and are not, that the country was not designed just so that foreign countries could come and have wars there and then leave. But also that life in a war zone was very different than movies lead you to believe it is. And like the movies because they want to be exciting, I guess they lead you to believe that it is just constant danger and constant action and constant, you know, either horror or thrills, but really it's a lot of people spending awful lot of time sitting around waiting and it's,

there's more of a kind of soul-killing aspect of it in that way, even in the moments where there are an action. But it was, there's just a really amazing experience and it made me wish that someday I'd like to go back in a, you know, in more very peaceful traveler sort of way because it's a beautiful country. And in the movies, I feel like any place America goes for wars presented as inherently sinister or at the very least strange and incomprehensible. Whereas in Afghanistan it was very easy to see

kind of like the beauty of the place and of the people there that I got to direct with. It was really fantastic. So it's a place that hopefully I'll get to go someday just on a regular trip. So let us move on to our last section of the show which is recommendations, movies that might be a better use of your time than the one we watched for the podcast. Debatable. Well, yeah, debatable. I'm going to, speaking of which, I'm going to offer a qualified recommendation for something that I saw that, like, basically, it's called Death on the Nile. No, and it was, in a way, it's the opposite of Death on the Nile because Death on the Nile.

Might be on the Nile because death of the Nile feels like such a straight down the middle pitch and this is one of the weirder movies I've seen but my qualified recommendation is for a movie called Mad God which is available on Shutter right now. It is a movie made by a special effects artist Phil Tippett who did it You know originated as like a short that you did a long ago and then he expanded it over the years through crowdfunding and Now it is a full feature that is available for viewing But it is not a feature with a clear narrative of any kind there There's like a story. I guess you could tease out

if you wanted to, especially if you read about it, but it is really kind of just a descent into some sort of dystopian hellscape, mostly done through stop motion. There are a few actual humans in it, but I don't think there's any dialogue in it. Um, yeah, my, my qualified part of this qualified recommendation is I will say, um, as much as I admire it for, uh, sticking to its artistic guns, like, it has no narrative

drive to pull you through. So even though you're seeing the most amazing strange things, you could hope to see it. It can get boring like. But so maybe, you know, I would recommend watching it in, I don't know, 30 minute chunks. However, you long you like to enjoy your non-narrative, weird cinema. But I still wanted to recommend it because it is a singular movie,

it is a movie that is definitely one very talented man's vision that is largely uncompromised by anything else. So if you're, if that makes you curious, give it a watch, know that there's some very gross disturbing stuff with it. Yeah, but me and I check it out. A lot of people ask me about it, I just haven't gotten around to it, but that is a solid qualified recommendation. I'm going to recommend a movie uncualified. What? I'm going to recommend a movie by a favorite here at the flop house, Mr. Michael Mann.

That's because he's a human, and that's what is the last time. Oh, I see. You speak by a Michael, yeah. I'm going to recommend his movie, a Miami vice, that is part of his like digital video era, also known as his Chris Cornell era, where Michael Mann made a bunch of movies that are using digital video that both like, to me look both a little bit ugly,

but also kind of beautiful in a way that I don't see a lot of other, like I don't feel like any other like auteur, I guess, or like any other like auteur, I guess, or like marquee filmmakers embrace digital video like Michael Mandon with Miami Vice and like collateral and public enemies and public enemies to a lesser degree public enemies. I mean, it's very digital video.

Yeah, but I mean, the general quality of the movie to me is just what's- I'm just, yeah, I'm just going into the digital video aspect. I don't know. It's definitely good. Elliot is exclusively splitting hairs. Miami Vice I remember what do what do men have on them hairs just like Michael. Yeah, it's yeah, it's full circle. Yep, it works. It all works guys. You know, Miami Vice's a movie, like I feel like a lot of Michael May movies when I first encounter him, it didn't quite click with me and maybe it was where I was at in life.

And, but seeing it again now, it again, like it looks beautiful, the performances are great. It manages to be sexy in a way that I find a lot of Michael May movies are not. Like I feel be sexy in a way that I find a lot of Michael Man movies are not. I feel like the love story in the movie works a lot better than some of the other romances in his movies.

I mean, the sexy speedboat situation is amazing. And of course, when Colin Farrell explains that he's a fiend for Mojitos, man, what a movie. And there's beautiful moments of lightning being caught in the background that they couldn't plan that shit. It's there and it looks great. It's a cool movie. It's long, but yeah, it's a great little movie.

Check it out. And I'm going to recommend a movie watching this, of which is not murder on the Orient Express, but is related to a murder on the Orient Express. There might be a movie that involves a murder on a different train, the Trans-Syberian Railway, that I wanted to recommend. And that movie is called Horror Express. This is from 1972, and it starts Christopher Lee

and Peter Cushing. And the poster says, Tally Savales, but he doesn't really show up until the last third of the movie and he doesn't do very much. But it starts out, it's a movie set in the early 20th century and Christopher Lee has found a sort of frozen primitive humanoid in the Himalayas and he brings it with him and it appears that it is getting out of its case and murdering people on this train, but the real explanation is much stranger. And so it's a real fun movie, it's a little silly, but it really, as opposed to Death on

the Nile, it really goes in directions you don't necessarily expect it to when it first starts up. And it's just fun. It's great to stick Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing doing a movie together, always. This is not a hammer film, but it feels like a hammer film, because those two guys are in it, so that's horror express. Sounds good.

Three great recommendations. Three great recommendations. Well, that's- But, unqualified recommendations. No, no, no. Hey, that means that it's seen in the show. But before we go, oh yeah, just a little business.

If you've got a moment, go to iTunes, leave us a review to help spread the word of the show or tweet about it. You know, this is a podcast that this summer, I think into the summer will be 15 years old. And you know, podcasts tend to plateau, sometimes hard to build an audience. If you want to do something that costs you nothing

that helps us out, you know, let people know about the show one way or another. You can follow us at the Flop House Pod on Twitter and at the Flop House Podcast on Instagram. We have a YouTube channel, the Flop House Podcast. If you go to Fllapphousepodcast.com, you can find links to the live show, you can find links to merch. You can, you know, I don't know, read about us, see a photo, I don't know, what do you want to do?

Where do I remember the maximum fun network? There's only so much there. There's only so much. It's really just a way to have this podcast. Go to maximumfund.org to check out all the great podcasts on our network. Even though he's not producing this episode, thank you to our producer Alex Smith. Please come back soon at Howell Daudi on Twitter. But until next time, I have been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaelin saying, join us for more mystery,

madness, and murder. On another episode of The Flop House, I can't promise that any of those three things are going to be in the next episode, but you never know. I mean, the other thing I could be really honest, and I could be like, the movie that dares you to give a shit. I, and what about the vibes over there?

The vibes, well I get to feel there might be a vibe shift soon, but right now the vibes are pretty good. Maximumfun.org. Comedy and culture. Artists-owned, audience supported. Right now the vibes are pretty good.