The Flop House - Episode #377 - The Gray Man

Episode Date: August 27, 2022

Netflix sure loves to make movies that sit on their home screen for a week or so and then no one talks about again, huh? At least it gave the directors a chance to insult movie theaters. Anyway, we ta...lked about their latest "hit" The Gray Man.Wikipedia entry for The Gray ManMovies recommended in this episode:Lilo & StitchThe Man Who Could Work MiraclesNopeEver tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 On this episode we discuss the Gray Man, more like the board identity am I right? Ha ha ha ha ha! Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm the special podcasting operative known as Elliott Kalin. That's my co-name and real name though. It's not cool enough. It's not cool enough, Elliott Kalin. What's that? You're going to be an operative. If you're going to be a top secret operative,
Starting point is 00:00:52 you need like a cool name, something that just sticks right in the brain. Something like Knoz. Something like Knoz. Dullness. Or something like Sierra Six, which sounds like a, a, a Seltsur water of some kind. So we're going to get into this when we talk about the movie, but we're talking about a
Starting point is 00:01:09 character who is introduced to us with the name Cortland Gentry. They're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's going to be Sierra 6 from now. Which is the person who was as the person who was taking notes to summarizes movie, I found it very convenient that all I had to write was six. Yeah, over and over again. Yeah, they said, what's Dumber than Courtland's Gentry?
Starting point is 00:01:35 I know Sierra. But what if we can make that even Dumber? Sierra six? Great. Okay. So it's with numbers are all the rage these days. Yep. That 11 over on stranger things. Mm hmm. People, people love numbers. Yeah. People like 11, they will like five less than her. Or five better. I guess we find out.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Potentially. Yeah. It depends on what you're, Dan, what do we do on this podcast? We don't just talk about numbers. This isn't what's your number? The movie, the podcast. Mm hmm. This is a podcast where we talk about movies that were critical or commercial flops. And in this case, I know you're going to say something about Topeka. Also, there's a secondary to Peeka related mission statement, just opinions on Topeka. But in this case, the great man, I was kind of done with that bit, but you want to keep it going, Dan? You've done it.
Starting point is 00:02:27 You had this look in your face, like you're gonna say something. I was actually, I was, I was, I was actually gonna say, and this might be what you were gonna say, I think we might have changed our remit because the idea of a commercial flop is so much harder to understand now.
Starting point is 00:02:39 The gray man is a Netflix original, so who knows how well it did, nobody. That is why I, you know, say, critical or commercial flop that and to fend off the, the people on the internet who are constantly like, I thought that was a financial success. I'm like, look, it's just a name. Don't get hung up on it. People actually do. I wish. Yes, they do all the time. I'm like, I wish, honestly, at this point, I wish I could go back in time, change the name to something that makes no reference to something that could be misinterpreted that way because I don't like having to be like, look, we're going to do whatever movie we want to do ultimately. So Dan is the
Starting point is 00:03:21 podcaster equivalent of King Kong standing on the Empire State Building and these internet people are the biplanes They're flying around bothering him with their incessant question. Listen until he dropped out of here. Sheerabortum, but Dan what you're saying is I love what you say is is if you could turn back time If you could find a way you would change the name of this podcast to something else now Imagine Dan is twirling around in a song body suit with sailors all right. Yeah, thanks for sharing that with us Elliott Now Netflix Netflix does not release numbers, but they do Cirrus six star the great man And we did it. There's 11 who's on stranger things.
Starting point is 00:04:06 A Netflix show sounds like Netflix releases a lot of numbers, Dan. I guess that's true. I guess it's on HBO. According to Netflix, this was very successful for them, but it was, and it wasn't even like a critical flop, let's say it's a critical. Despite not being good. Also, I'll say this then Netflix likes to play I feel a little fast and lose for the numbers since I'll turn it on there like this movie is the most
Starting point is 00:04:31 watched movie in the world by the way it's on your home screen and it's playing right now unless you press a button. Yeah wait does this count as a view I'm not watching this I feel like they are it's a little unfair that they're like it's's amazing. Everybody in the world is watching Squid Game, merely because we forced it onto their TV screens whenever they opened our app. That's what they do in the most popular album is this shitty U2 album that no one wants. Yes, Apple could say it's the most downloaded album in music history. Is this U2 when they shoved onto my phone. And I deleted that shit as fast as I could. I felt that's the, maybe the most violent,
Starting point is 00:05:08 and this shows how entitled and privileged my life has been. That was the most violated I ever felt. Was it the whole white one? And my phone and seeing this U2 album. Again, says more about me. First world problems, first world problems. I don't even hate you too as much as like, most people seem to these days like it's fashionable
Starting point is 00:05:25 to this like but they put out some really strong albums in the past. I don't want this one who can forget who can forget that to my taste that whole thing on the pop tour where Bono was like the devil on a phone call with somebody great stuff great stuff the Spider-Man musical wonderful I guess there's only two members of you two, the two you two, they call them, the you two two. But yeah, this is, I don't want to you two of them. Bad shuffling onto my face. Badge, they call it. Now there were on the subject of talking about numbers like you two. Let's talk about number six, the hero of the movie, The Gray Man. Now featuring featured on Netflix, according to my television, it's in the top 10 of all movies.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Now, I have a question. Why is this movie called, I know it's based on a book called The Gray Man. They barely ever referred to him as the Gray Man. I think they do it once. Well, let me just call it number six or something like that or CR6. I have number six. I mean, I, as much as I have number four, I think. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:06:21 I mean, number six is Patrick McGuin's character from the prisoner, but they never call him the Gray Man. Dan, sorry, I keep interrupting you on purpose. As much as the Gray Man is a uninspiring name, I think Sierra six or six would be a less inspiring. Well, there are only three titles. And let's talk about the musical six, which has some, you know, real like bangers in it. Thumbs up.
Starting point is 00:06:44 But it's a huge hit. I mean, you have a great man. He works in a gray area. He was, but I'm just saying they should call him that more in the movie because they just say it once. I mean, a lot of times you're wearing like a gray tracksuit. Well, you know, were you not listening to me before or something about the flop house? It's just a name. You can name anything. Whatever you can always sit on always sit on our own flop tarry right I should have in I should have been more more sensitive to the fact that they don't they can just name a movie whatever they don't hold it to that movie. So the gray man begins in 2003 in a Florida
Starting point is 00:07:18 state prison were introduced to prisoner Ryan Gosling whose character again is named Cortland Gentry who is trading quips with- Which does sound like the name of a kind of mid-level hotel? Yeah. Like a regional hotel, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's trading quips with CIA agent Billy Bob Thornton.
Starting point is 00:07:37 He is a lifetime criminal who's been in prison since he was 15 years old and seems to have a very good prison barbers because, I mean, he looks great. And I mainly comment on that because Billy Bob Thornton has that very traditional CIA agent look of coming off a three day bender. It's great. Thumbs up. I think that's more of a traditional Billy Bob Thornton look. But he looks so much, he looks so much more cleaned up later on. I'm guessing it's the winged party. That's true. Problem. Yeah. So we're introduced to this character. We'll find out later on because I'm not going to go through every single jump around and flashback or whatever. But he's in, he's in jail because he killed his dad for abusing him and his brother. He was protecting his brother. So he killed
Starting point is 00:08:20 his dad and then his was sentenced to like 30 some years in prison, which is a lot for a 15 year old Well his dad was the president though. Oh That actually makes it yeah, yeah So I'm gonna say that Stewart not to throw you off track too early My Rangosling plays such a Land nothing character of this we're given so little reason to like him and it felt when you when in the movie You find out about this killing his dad for abusing him and his brother,
Starting point is 00:08:47 much later, and by the time it showed up, I was like, too little too late movie. I am, it is past the window where I can care about this character. And it felt very, He's a great man. But I mean, here's the thing, Dan, maybe you called the great man,
Starting point is 00:09:00 but you may come an interesting character for the audience. But if, I mean, I found Gosling perfectly likable in this, like, Gosling's a weird one for me. Like, uh, I think he's, I think for me, he's at his best when he's allowed to play a little funnier. Yes. Like, this is not really one of his, I mean, he has quips.
Starting point is 00:09:21 He has a lot of quips, but it's, it's a, it is a role that I feel like it, it, usually a good role has two pillars, let's say. One is a well-written character and one is the charisma of the actor. This role has one pillar, which is just Ryan Gosling's charisma. There's no written character there for him to lean on. It's even, and you see it even more with Anada Armist's character who has nothing, she has no character written for.
Starting point is 00:09:44 It's entirely resting on her shoulders. with Anada Armist's character who has nothing, she has no character written for us entirely resting on her shoulders. And it's so, by the time they got to that, I was like, movie, if he lives in the gray area, just make him like a morally complex dude. Up to this point, he's like, they're trying to make him into a good guy, good guy, which doesn't work for me.
Starting point is 00:09:59 I wouldn't mind it, I mean, I might have more with Anada Armist not having more of a character because number one, we saw how fun she is as a goofy spy in no time to die. That's so much fun. Also, like, then it becomes like a trend of like having like a bunch of like boring characters. If our lead character, like the thing, I think the idea is that we see him being abused later on, and the form it takes is his dad, you know, burning him with a cigarette lighter,
Starting point is 00:10:31 or maybe a cigar. We don't see what actually made the burn, but him being like, if as long as you can, you know, state calm through this, you know, you'll be unstoppable. That's kind of... That is the gray man's superpowers. He is, preternaturally, just sort of self-possessed and calm while all this chaos is going on around. And that could work, but, yeah, it didn't for you, Elliot.
Starting point is 00:10:58 No, it didn't for me. It very much, well, I have, I will get to it. I have a lot of issues with this. What, what, at first I was like, oh, this is kind of a mediocre programmer. By the end of it, I found myself actually offended by the existence of the movie and so much. So we're almost done with the first scene.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Billy Bob Thornton's character, whose name is Fitz, I think. Fitz, but they call him Fitz. Yeah, they call him Fitz. He called it the classic X-Men villain of the same name. Let's get back to that first scene. So fits. I'll just say, fits offers him a role as a hitman. That's basically it.
Starting point is 00:11:31 Thank you. He does. He offers to commute ascendants if he engages in a lifetime of being a CIA hitman. Boom, that is our setup. We have to accept it. Is it silly? Yes, but it's an action movie. Whatever.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Let's, let's fucking get on this. We bought the ticket. We paid for our Netflix subscription. Let's just take this ride, guys. I'm willing to suspend my disbelief and continue with the Hollywood idea that the CIA is this sort of masterful shadowy organization that just murders people, secretly left and right. You never find out about it. Even though all the evidence in the movie is that every operation is a total fuck up that with non-stock lateral damage. It reminded me so much, we'll get to it. We'll run me so much of in Firestar when they're like rain birds the best in the business. And it's like really, he kills 10 extra people for every target you send him after. Yeah. Yeah, you get this tremendous value.
Starting point is 00:12:20 That's true. It amortized over a dollar per bullet. It's amazing. It's amazingly cheap. Yeah. Okay. So it is now 18 years later in Bangkok. We know it's later because they tell us and because six now has a little beard. That's Ryan Gosling's character. His name is Sierra six. He's got a little beard. And then finally, Anna DeArmus shows up and she is wearing this fucking amazing suit. Yeah. That's a great suit. So much charisma. Oh, man, why couldn't she be the lead? We'll find out.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Yeah, so by the end of it, when we get to the end of it, it's the most enjoyable moments for me. When she's running around with rocket launchers strapped to her back like a like bugs bunny. Her wings are hurtly past bad guys. That is definitely a thought that I also had though. It's just like well, she's played sort of like fourth banana in two spy movies now. Like give her her own spy.
Starting point is 00:13:09 They could have been so much better. They should call the movie first banana. That's her code name. First banana. She's the best in the biz. She peels the bad guys. First banana. So Anna D'Armis is like a partner, co agent or something. And she gives six a little water pistol. Well, she's just assigned to, is like a partner, co-agent, or something, and she gives six a little water pistol. Well, she's just assigned to, she's a different agent assigned to his case. She's not part of the Sierra program. She's not one of the elite CIA hitmen. She's one of the slightly more common places every day.
Starting point is 00:13:36 No, no, no. CIA hitmen, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, in this specifically, this is a specific non-seer mission. He's getting orders directly from Langley and is from a shadowy figure, the shadowy head of the CIA known as Denny Carmichael, which is a hilarious name to say over and over, played by what Regis on page from Bridgerton, the guy who's just skipping over the place. And he has to do any of that in this movie. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:14:11 But he has the character in a lot of these spy movies who is kind of the villain. And he says things that make people that should sound tough, but no one in the movie takes them seriously. As a bat. He reminds me of Kelsey Rammer in Money Plane, where like from his point of view, he is the baddest of bad asses, but nobody takes some serious that way. And
Starting point is 00:14:29 that was when I realized, wait a minute, this movie is just a war and Alice comic where everyone's just got the talks tough all the time and shoots each other. He keeps referring to the old man who is the person really in charge, who we do not meet and is a clear setup for further great, great manage. Oh, you think so? I wasn't sure about that. Great man ventures.
Starting point is 00:14:50 Because I think you do need him at the very end, right? He's the one who, who gives them a talking to. I thought, by the old man, I thought they just meant the head of intelligence, you know. So six does not take the shot to kill the target he's been hired to kill because a kid gets in the way. So he has to do it up close. So he get a little action sequence where he's like killing a bunch of dudes. Turns out the target that when he corners him, the target is number four, Ciera four, one of his, his brothers and arms, a fellow assassin, who has a they get in a fight in like a little fireworks area and in a fight in like a little fireworks area. And six wins. They seem to be in the fire rush launching alley. Like they fell into the sewers of Bangkok. It was full of fireworks.
Starting point is 00:15:31 The fireworks pit. Six wins and four because he has been bested hands six a secret medallion that we will later find out has a even more secret little thumb drive in it. Carmichael and six have a phone call, Denny Carmichael's not happy with his situation. Six is like, I'm going to go on the road. I'm going to go rogue. So he goes off the grid. He borrows somebody's clothes, which continues a trend where he asks everybody before he takes their outfit. He asks them if there are 42 regular, which I checked. And I think, I think you're on Gosling's a 42 regular. I buy it, Yeah. Glad that you fact check. I double checked it. I also appreciate they didn't say like 42 long. I'm like, Ryan, you don't have to lie about your height, buddy. You're six foot. Yeah. I think this, this is one of a few different kind of forced
Starting point is 00:16:18 cute little runners. The other being for me went, the Fitzroy's nieces love a vintage pop, I guess, which is, which I was like, can we give these characters like actual things? Can we give them actual personality things? I don't know that that's like that cute. I don't know, Ellie. And I feel like you've worn down by watching so many movies that you're angry at. I don't know. I'm saying that like I've seen a lot of movies where like last night in Soho and things like that where young women are obsessed with the music of the guy, the music that the guy who made the music.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Girls don't like music says Elliot Kaylin. Girls like lots of music. But I'd love to see a movie where girls listen to music that like girls listen to now and not just what the guy who made the movie likes to listen to, you know. I mean, people listen to everything. That's true. So he, so six calls. It doesn't feel the same to me as in book smart when they do the karaoke of you ought to know
Starting point is 00:17:15 where it was like, I totally buy that. I buy that these girls are into this music, even though it's not the music of their era or whatever, you know. Yeah. So six calls retired friend a friend, a mentor, a father figure, fits, who now, like, he looks great. He's got his gray hair. He's got a little mustache.
Starting point is 00:17:32 He looks awesome. That's Billy Boutthorton, who seems to be still, despite being retired, he's still going to be six's ally. And he gives him some advice on a new extraction point. Meanwhile back in Langley, Denny decides to overrule his, I guess, one of his agents played by Jessica Hanwick, who is really great and doesn't get to do anything in this movie other than like, you know, like, Tut, Tut and be mad at Chris Evans. So, they were long periods. They're long periods of the movie where I forgot she was in the movie. And
Starting point is 00:18:05 then she would show up to tell Chris Evans, you can't do that. And then she'd go back to the crafts. You can't let a dog play basketball. Yeah. And there's a version of this movie where there's a version of this movie where I'm into armistice six and Jessica Hanway is Denny. And it's instantly a more interesting movie. Instantly.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Yeah. Denny or the villain that Denny brings in, which is Lloyd Hansen played by Chris Evans. Yep, he's one of the Hansen brothers now a assassin for hire. He's one of the Hansen brothers. You didn't, you didn't pick that up. I thought it was all context clues. I didn't pick that. I've this the scene, I guess where he just said, um, Bob and then walked into another room.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Yeah. You know, this movie still has a tiny little Easter eggs like that. Elliot. Chris Evans is having all of the fun that Ryan Gothlin is not allowed to have, although he's basically playing Henry Cavill from the last mission impossible. Complete with mustache. Uh, yeah. Like that.
Starting point is 00:19:03 Well, yeah, a lot of his personality comes from his mustache and his sort of like retro, like mid century shirts he wears. I feel like they missed it. They missed it. He looks great. He looks great. He looks great. I mean, he's a handsome man. He dressed as well because someone dressed him. It's not like he picked out his own clothes. Maybe did. I don't know, but I feel like he's got some serious cheeks on him. I feel like there was a like butt cheeks. Yeah. Maybe it's maybe it's because I mean the Avengers movie even point out what a great. Yes. But I feel like the knives out maybe because they got to do it first. They got to have this guy who is best known as Captain America kind of surprised the audience in turning out to be not a good guy.
Starting point is 00:19:45 And I feel like this movie, I couldn't help because it's the Russo brothers that made it. I couldn't help thinking that they're like, now we're going to show Captain America being like a bad guy, but it never quite, it just doesn't, it doesn't come off the same way. And I was, I kept hoping for the moment where I'd be like, I can't believe I'm seeing Captain America do this. The same way that at the beginning of once upon a time in the West, when you see that Henry fond it has shot a child in the face. And you're like, that's not what I expect Henry fond it to do.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Like, I wish they could have played out the actor. Yeah. Well, the fact that he shot a child in the face on the set and then they had to write it into the movie so that he did do the job. True Hollywood stories. So Lloyd is being brought in, but apparently he's a loose cannon. He's an independent contractor assassin with a huge network of killers on hand and he lives in a castle, I guess.
Starting point is 00:20:30 He is a seemingly unlimited budget, like he must be spending billions of dollars on this operation. Yeah, I was like, is he set himself up at Versailles? What's going on? Yeah, so basically, in a montage, we see that he kidnaps Fitz's niece, who we later find out as a pacemaker and fetish for like old-timey records. And it's close to six. She and six already have a familial relationship.
Starting point is 00:21:00 Close to the person six. In age, she's a teenager. Yeah. So she's not she's about three quarters her birthday is a couple of us. Billy Bob Thornton is like. He's reminding us. Billy Bob Thornton who is now being held captive by Lloyd orders six to be killed by the same extraction team. He arranged What a betrayal. It's fine. So we get a plane fight on this cargo plane with like flares and smoke bombs and it ends with a hole being blown in the side of the plane.
Starting point is 00:21:35 And like six jumps out and has to like chase a guy while flying through the air to get his parachute. There's some neat ideas like I feel like there's bits where like where he keeps trying to get a parachute and it either gets sucked out or somebody else takes it like. I think that's kind of a neat idea. And there's some there's some cool stuff, but it's it's so I don't know about you guys, but it was hard for me to follow this one. Yes. I was wondering why like this movie is trying very hard to do. I feel like Mission Impossible type set pieces and why in the last couple of Mission Impossible
Starting point is 00:22:06 movies the set pieces are gorgeous and they all and they they're so exciting and here I just couldn't Get into them and I wonder if that was it that it was kind of it was moving so fast It was hard for me to follow exactly what was happening sometimes. Yeah There's some action set pieces in this that actually like a fair amount, but this one is Kind of hard to follow And it weirdly like cuts off before you would expect it to. Yeah, it kind of feels like the movie is like, all right, well, you've seen one of these things where a guy dives after a guy and like does the thing where he makes his body small so he can catch up and get the parents to. It's like you don't
Starting point is 00:22:40 need to see it. Yeah, it does feel like the movie goes and then the plane explodes and six is to jump out and he's going and yada yada yada you get the idea. Anyway, he's calling. You get the rest. You get it. Yeah, I mean, it reminded me of the really fun plane fight level on Uncharted 3, which is great and is literally ends with you landing in the desert and then the game just progressed from there. It's great. What a game. I like that. I have to say in these
Starting point is 00:23:10 movies, usually in these movies, it's only the one so far. I know they're making a sequel and a spin off of some cut. There's I like on Wikipedia says a spin off film, which will explore a different element of the Gray Man universe will be written by et cetera, et cetera. What other elements of the Gray Man universe are there? There's nothing. I mean, let's just hope it's on an armistice. I guess so. It's a paper in universe.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Uh, no, I, movies of this ilk. I, and I know, I know all universes are paper thin if you believe in the M brain theory of stacked universes. Look, I don't know. Man, you would have been roasted online if you hadn't given back to the dude anywhere. I'm so glad I covered myself. Yeah. No, in movies of this ilk, they usually make it that fits would be the bad guy.
Starting point is 00:23:56 That we're supposed to be shocked that this character that we only now met and is a shadowy government person betrayed his son like assassin character. And I liked that this movie at least was like, no, no, no, they actually have a good relationship. It's just that he got pushed out. And then like the one time that fits is like forced to betray him, they have a little call on the phone. It's like, yeah, they've got my niece and and six is like, Oh, okay, cool. Like, I get it. So on the game, baby. So, uh, so at this point,
Starting point is 00:24:33 six has managed to escape the first genuine attempt at his life. He is on the run. He landed in Turkey. So, uh, and Lloyd has now scrambled assassins from all over the world. We see assassins from all different locations with monuments and other landmarks in the background. So, we're like, oh, wow, that's a Sydney Opera House. It's ridiculous. And they're all walking up to their planes fully armed as if six is going to jump out of the plane at them. And so many of them wearing like skull bandana masks and it's like you gotta wear. I mean, you put on your cutest outfit when you're going to kill. I guess so.
Starting point is 00:25:13 But like best case scenario, you've got a plane flight to get to where six is like, relax. You got some time, you know, that's true. Put your yoga pants on. So it's a perfect time. It's a perfect time for us to have a flashback. Two years ago, the gray man is wearing a dope suit and he asked to be a babysitter for Fitz's niece whose identity has been leaked to, I don't know, assassins all over the world. And Denny Carmichael's like, you don't care about that. You don't know protection where Fitzroy lives on
Starting point is 00:25:45 it on a show. Yeah. So he has to, so six despite having no background in a babysitting has to babysit Fitz's niece who has a like some kind of pacifier. I know. Like some kind of ninja next door. The adventure in babysitting. Yeah, like some kind of Mr. Nanny. So we get a little reveal that one of one of six's tattoos is just the name Cicifus on his home. It's pretty cool. That's a good tattoo to get. She plays after having a scare with her pacemaker. She puts on a quirky record, which is perfect for an action sequence, which is what we get
Starting point is 00:26:20 in Assassin's shows up and six beats him up pretty quick. And it's fun. Okay, that was it. That was the whole flashback. Back in present day in Vienna. That was just to and that's all just to set up that now six cares about six also cares about this niece and that you know Lloyd went too far in in until this point. We thought he might if he met the niece, he might just gobbler up. I feel like a wolf lying in a bed for tenning to be a grandma. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Saturn thinking he's eating a child, but it's just rocks.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Stupid Saturn. Look under the swaddling clothes. What a fool. I didn't realize one of my kids was just super decent around. Well down the gumball he goes. Yeah, I'm like, what a dumb type of person. I mean, a fish is probably looksrah he goes. Yeah. That makes for a dumb. I mean, a fist probably looks like a rock. Okay. So I like that. Stuart, Stuart is edgy slowly into it. Greek mythology hot or not. So section that I'm really excited to finally hear. Oh, I thought the Stuart
Starting point is 00:27:20 Walsh and roast of Greek mythology. Yeah. You thought Kratos fucked up the Greek gods. Now it's time for Stuart. I see, I see, I see King Midas is in the audience. Get a load of this asshole. Hey buddy. What's that go? It's over. I like to think that I'd be a little more specific than just say, hey, look at this asshole.
Starting point is 00:27:40 But you know, that's just how you start. I'm just buying time. Buying time for the old wheels to start churning. So we're, we're, I see when Duce you start. I'm just buying time. Buying time for the old wheels to start churning. Yeah. So we're, we're listening to him. And he says here, don't look. Anyway, don't worry, we'll have more of these jokes as the show goes on, folks.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Okay. So six meets up with a quirky hacker guy to find the tracking information for Chloe's pacemaker and get new passport photos taken. So that of course means it's time for us a for a shirtless Ryan Gosling shot. He's covering scars and tattoos. And he's completely yoked. Like this dude looks amazing. Zero percent body fat. And you know what? Despite all those scars and tattoos, I think I could fix him guys. No, don't fall into that. No, no, it's not your job to fix him that, no, don't fall into that trap.
Starting point is 00:28:27 He's got a little beard. He's got that haunted looking his eye. He's got that. I said, he's more fixed. A little fanned shock in the front of his hair for some reason. Yeah. He does look like, it looks like he drinks out of court containers behind the restaurant. So okay, turns out that eccentric weirdo is actually a trap based assassin.
Starting point is 00:28:46 It turns out this man who is essentially a spider in human form and is doing everything. He's giving off so many warning signs, not since the, not since that New Yorker story about the girl who goes out with that guy and he stalks her and she's a cat person or something has there, has there been so many warning signs in such quick succession? Yeah. Okay. So, yep, trap base assassin traps him in a well. Like a fighter, like a trap spider. So while six is McGuy moves away, I'll have a trap. Some in a well that we later found out how has has like an escape
Starting point is 00:29:17 kit in it that has everything he needs, but we'll get to that. Yeah. So six takes him a little while, but he does McGuyvers way out of that trap. Meanwhile, Anadama is being interrogated by Danny Carmichael, who's a real creep, keeps turning off the recording. Yada, yada, he's basically an Anadama's character. Is there a character Miranda? What? Because they they very, she's nobody refers to by name, like she's only there to save Ryan Gosling every once in a while. According to Wikipedia, her name is Danny Miranda, which sounds like, it sounds like, like a sitcom detective.
Starting point is 00:29:55 sitcom character. Yeah, but yeah, I almost never refer her by name because she just exists. Yeah, she just exists in her relationship to six. She has no outside existence of her own whatsoever. So I lost focus for a moment because I was just dragged to tweet from Kevin Smith about how much he still bones his wife. Dan, why are you looking at Twitter and especially Kevin Smith's Twitter while we're recording? I don't, it was so, uh, are,
Starting point is 00:30:18 unless you get a notification. He's pretty silly. He's pretty silly. How old Doddy are, are producer retweeted? That's what I saw. And you got a how old Doddy retweet producer, retweeted. That's what I saw it. But you got a how old Doddy retweet alert on your on your computer and said, I'll have to check this out.
Starting point is 00:30:31 We, no, we, well, I didn't think that we would go so fast that I would miss anything in this web of, of, of pieces from other spy films, but apparently we already did pass something while I was not paying attention, which was him being trapped in the well. And I just wanted to make a note of this, this, this guy who makes fake passports and stuff. He is from moment one, the most suspicious acting man. Everything about him says, I'm going to betray you and trap you in a well. Yeah. Yeah. And from, yeah. From from my perspective as an audience member, look, I don't mind it that much because part of it is creating the tension of like something's going on here, like, you know, like playing the audience that way.
Starting point is 00:31:19 But on the other hand, six is supposed to be the world's greatest. A master spy. I mean, he is, I guess you could see, you could say maybe he's a blunt instrument or scalpel. He knows how to kill. He doesn't know how to recognize danger, but it, it, it also, it also shows that his back is up against the wall and he knows that there's something up, but there's, he has like no other options right now. I guess that's true because the only short of a fly buzzing by this guy's face and his
Starting point is 00:31:48 tongue zapping out and catching it and pulling it into his mouth. There he could not be more creepy and suspicious. Like there's a moment I what worry that six had wandered into the layer of a vampire and that the movie is about to take a very abrupt turn. But that's where they call me the gray man. I can only operate at dusk because I can't be out in the light of the sun of a vampire assassin. Yeah. Anyway, he's in a well and a darkness is being questioned because she was just trying to do her job. Now, now, Danny suspects that she's also in on this thing that have
Starting point is 00:32:18 we learned what, what's on that thumb drive yet or no? No, no. And he, and he, of course, and he threatened, you know, he threat, he takes her off active duty and she's like, well, I'm not going to stand for that. I can't, you mean, I'm not allowed to go back into the field and help Ryan Gosling kill people and cause massive damage. That's why I got into this job. Meanwhile, Chris Evans shoots his own pilot so they will make an emergency landing in Vienna with his little hit squad, which is perfect timing because Ryan Gosling, six, manages to make an explosion and escape right as Chris Evans and his hit team arrive.
Starting point is 00:32:58 So he's a through those goons, like a hot knife through goons. What I have two things to say about this escape from the well. One, he creates an explosion which blows away the guys who are at the edge of the pit, yet Ryan Gosling who is inside the pit where the explosion takes place is totally fine and jumps right out. I don't understand where this explosion had maybe threw it up in the air in it. Well, you swam way down to the bottom of the well and the explosion. It's just half. Although it does seem like debris would crumble into it. I mean gravity would make it harder than it seems. He shaped the explosion, I guess, so everything shot right out. But also, did he get the stuff that he's using
Starting point is 00:33:36 from, is there just a case that was in the well? Did he go into the well with the backpack? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. He laid out all the stuff that was, yeah, we were learning the, there's also pipes and a water main and all kinds of shit. You scoff at me for eating mango, but the the dish washing seems to have. No, you're right. You're right. That's it. I miss that.
Starting point is 00:33:59 You're right. I miss that. He has a backpack on. Okay. So he kills all the goons. He exchanges a little bit of banter with Lloyd, but then he's rescued at the last minute by Anada Armas who decides to help six track down that mystery drive that he mailed to retired CIA chief Alphry Woodard, who is currently living in Prague.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Open the mail for your mystery drive. Lloyd goes back to his layer in a castle in Croatia to torture Billy Bob Thornton. It just pulling his fingernails out. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of gross. Yeah. Alfred Woodard decrypts the thumb drive and reveals evidence that Denny is a bad guy. Big surprise. It's like, it's so fucking lame that they're like, I'm assuming, I figured they all assumed he was a bad guy. Well, also, that Alfred Woodard is like, this has all this, first, all this thumb drive
Starting point is 00:34:55 is a collection of video and other evidence, showing them killing people, causing explosions, and it's like, well, that's what the hero of the movie does. So you gotta tell me why this is, why it's bad when Denny does it, but it's totally cool when Ryan Gosling does it. Like I didn't understand the difference. They're like, this is without authorization.
Starting point is 00:35:13 It's like, well, even the stuff they're doing with authorization is pretty bad. It's all bad, yeah. It's all terrible. Yeah, yeah, it's true. I mean, I guess, I guess the idea is that this is like shadow government stuff. I think they even say that at one point.
Starting point is 00:35:27 That's what Ryan Gosling does. It's not like, it's not like America voted. It's not like the Senate voted to pass a bill saying, I should go kill a guy, you know? I know, but what? Look, I'm not, I'm not arguing in favor of Ryan Gosling as a gray man who like goes around shooting people. I like without- Dan, where's the candidate that supports my pro-greyman position?
Starting point is 00:35:50 But I do think that the idea is supposed to be that at least those unsanctioned operations are like sanctioned, like the goals of them are at least sanctioned by the official government, whereas this is, this other stuff is like some cell within the government. Yeah. In theory, Rangosna, I guess, was taking out like drug dealers and arms dealers in terrorists and Danny is taking out like, maybe his land lady, maybe like, he signed up to be a fucking dexter, you know, a killer that kills other killers.
Starting point is 00:36:20 He's not down with being just a regular killer who kills normal non killers. I like this. He's not down with being just a regular killer who kills normal non killers. But it is one of those things where I'm like, this, this is information that the, the audience already assumes that this guy is bad. He's been a great the whole time. And also he's like hiring all kinds of assassins. At this point, you're like, I wish there was a little bit more of a reveal where it's like, oh, this drive reveals that Denny Carmichael is actually drawing the earth, or drawing the moon down to the earth to destroy the planet. Yeah, or a big bull.
Starting point is 00:36:51 Danny Carmichael has a, has a secret double life as Osama bin Laden, like something, something that means something as opposed to just like me, but the movie doesn't really, I guess that's what it comes down to for me is like, all these movies are just excuses for people to shoot things and blow them up. But here the excuse is so weak that it made me, it feels like explosion porn and shooting porn after a certain point. And the idea that, of course, Ryan Gosling has to murder dozens and dozens of people in order to save this one girl like, or that we can watch a shoot out as we're going to
Starting point is 00:37:22 get to soon between an army of mercenaries and and Prague police officers who are legitimately trying to stop a gun battle in the middle of the middle of Prague. And it's just like that the movie just wants you to kind of the movie is not rough enough for this to be like heat where we're supposed to question the thin line between villain and hero. And it's not fun enough for it to be So the Anna darmin it's to be he yeah, it's not fun enough for it to be like um, you know a James Bond movie where you're like Well, this is a cartoon world. I'm not supposed to take this seriously. You know, yeah, it's a
Starting point is 00:37:57 It's just that it's are we at sorry. I was are we at that shootout now? We're just about to so they can't they learn that they can't copy the drive. So six now has to wear it on a little medallion around his neck. And it looks a lot like the medallion that the bad guys all want in minions, the rise of grew, which I, oh, that's good information actually. So so the first time the day I showed up, I was like, wait a minute, is this a crossover with minions, rise of group?
Starting point is 00:38:23 Yeah, wouldn't surprise me. Yeah. Cause there's, later on, there's a joke where Chris Evans refers to, he refers to Ryan Gosling's character as like looking like Ken, which is wild because the whole time Ryan Gosling was doing press for this movie, he had that like platinum blonde Ken hair from the Barbie movie there.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Right, Ken. Yeah. Man, what an awesome there. Maybe I can. Yeah. Man, one, one, one awesome choice. Um, okay. I will also mention, wait, just one more thing about Minions Rise of Guru is that. So, oh, sure. First time, first time my younger son ever went to a movie in the movie theater. It's the movie he wanted to see.
Starting point is 00:38:55 And my wife has not been in a movie theater. I think it's three years because of COVID. And she kept saying, I've been to the movies in three years. And I'm seeing Minions Rise of Guru. This is the movie I've been waiting three years to go to the theaters for and I thought that was. I just thought that was very funny. You just pointed in that. I mean, yeah, but she could also, you know, you guys could go see a movie.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah, it's more. Maybe your wife's trying to tell you to get some babysitters and go out to see a movie. Damn, we don't have all that. We don't have a whole club of babysitters. We don't have all have alamos season passes in a complete disregard for mortality. We can't all we can't all discuss the. Go see a good movie. Yeah, actually, that's a pretty good defense. You're like, oh, not all of us can spend
Starting point is 00:39:37 our afternoon watching a piece of shit like minions, rocks agree. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. No, you leave, you make the kids go see the movie by themself, then you go across the way. You go see bodies, bodies, bodies are some shit. I don't know whatever you want to watch. I don't care. Also, that's the difference between Danielle and me because like, if I had not seen them in a couple of years, I don't care. Otherwise, if it's been Yen's rise of grew. I'd be like, this is amazing. I look now, minions rise up, grew. I love it.
Starting point is 00:40:08 It's my favorite thing in here. Yeah. Yeah. Like just the pleasure of being there. I would have been like, yeah, yeah, yeah, minions, minions. Do your thing. Whatever it is. See you, man.
Starting point is 00:40:16 Banana butts. I mean, yeah. Make noise. They're thinking, they're showing their butts and making my children scream nonsense words for hours afterwards. I love it. Yeah. This is my kit. This is, although I've gotten back at my kids, they always go, so they think the minions sound like this. Kudakudakudakudak. That's what they say to be minions. And I go, are you calling for Kudakudak? My favorite Arya from Eugene O'Nagan, Lensky's Arya
Starting point is 00:40:38 before the big dual scene. And they go, no, no. And I play that beautiful Arya. Kudakudakudak. And they get so mad at me. So anyway, that's what I'm fighting back against minions with with Russian opera right now. So we'll see who wins. You're a real gentle minion. So, uh, uh, Alfred Woodard's apartment gets attacked by goons six and Anada Armas briefly escape. Alfred Woodard blows herself up in one of multiple, uh, multiple like last moment sacrifices to kill goons, uh, to save sex of all people. Yeah, she's saving six. Who's an assassin? Um, six gets picked up by check police pretty quickly. Uh, and he gets handcuffed to a bench. Um, and then the hits squad arrives and starts blasting everyone. And this is our, this is one of our big, big
Starting point is 00:41:24 action sequences. This is the mark. This is a huge action scene. It's enormous. Yeah. And I got to say, guys, I like this action scene. Okay. I know, like it is the, you know, I know that Elliot has moral issues with it. And I wish I did. I wish I could just sit back and be like, look at it. Stuff blown up. But I did end up having moral issues with just how huge this action scene is and that it's happening in the middle of a city and that they are continuing the James Bond tradition of other cities and other countries exist so that Americans and British people can go shoot the shit out of them and blow people up and things like that.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Sure, fine. Great. But I'm not sure. But I said they're fighting over nothing. They're fighting over the evidence that Danny is a creep, which we already knew. It's like they're fighting for nuclear codes. We're only confirming with this fight sequence. It's not like the whole point of the...
Starting point is 00:42:12 It's not like Glowfeld has a laser satellite. That's a danger to the earth. You know, it's just to catch Danny. They do, well, that's the ridiculousness of it though. Like they do, like they send in a bunch of cops and like Chris Evans team of mercenaries is like just using sledge hammer tactics, just shooting up everyone. And like this is the point at which the woman with Chris Evans,
Starting point is 00:42:39 who you mentioned before, like voices what I had been thinking much earlier in the movie, like, what kind of covert operative is Chris Ev? It's like none of his operations are covert. And that's like going crazy. And like she's like yelling, she's like, you're just shooting cops now. And it's a nutty scene. And I enjoy Ryan Gosling just like being behind this bench, this concrete bench handcuffed
Starting point is 00:43:07 to it, trying desperately to get the gun next to him. That's under the bench. I mean, it's a great set up. That the gun is out of bullets and he has to reload. Yes, to get more bullets. I feel it's a fantastic set up. And I wish this, at, there's a certain point of the scene where Ryan Gosling becomes almost an extra in the action scene. And I wish, like, I wish it was more focused on him, because while watching it, I was like, this's a certain point of the scene where Ryan Gosling becomes almost an extra in the action scene.
Starting point is 00:43:25 And I wish, like, I wish it was more focused on him, because while watching it, I was like, this is a great setup. He's handcuffed to a bench. These hitmen just keep going after him. For some reason, they don't decide to come behind him. They, they only come from one direction, like ninjas in an 80s movie. Well, I think the cops are on the other side. I mean, that's the thing.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Like, he is accidentally sort of protected in this thing. I guess that's true. Well, there's a gunfight all around him. But the idea that he has to fight when he is so incredibly vulnerable is such a great setup. But the scene is so big that he gets lost in it. And it's so chaotic. And there's so many cops getting shot and cop cars getting getting flipped over. And at a certain point, and there's no, you don't see any civilians getting shot, which is good, but it also, like, the place is so empty of civilians that it starts feeling like a, like a hermetically sealed bubble. This world that only exists for action, we've been saying, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:44:14 It's like, I'm torn between wanting to see a big, like crazy cartoonish action sequence, but also wanting to see it happen in some kind of world where I believe that people exist, you know, but it is a great set up. There's a. There's a lot of great set ups for action scenes in this. And one thing that is realistic in this movie is that Jessica Hanwick and Chris Evans and and Danny Carmichael non-stop keep reminding the audience that their characters went to Harvard, which is accurate to people who went to Harvard. They do not stop talking about it. And so we learned so much about I feel like we don't learn that much about Ryan Gosling, but we find out that the villains went to Harvard over and over again. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they went to school in
Starting point is 00:44:52 Boston, you know, yeah, just just just an unnamed school. No, they say Harvard a bunch of times. Six at one point. You're saying like Harvard students, when they're like, well, I was in I was at I went to college in Boston. You understand what I'm going down. He's on a train. There's like, goon vehicles chasing him and shooting all kinds of different guns and at armist shows up in a little sports car that's bulletproof and is like helping out and saves his bacon yet again. As you mentioned, there's some cute moments. This action sequence is at least more legible than the plane fight. I also like the bit where he's using the reflection
Starting point is 00:45:34 in the glass to like guess where the goon is in the tram underneath him to shoot. There's a lot of clever stuff in it. Yeah. I feel like Gosling does a pretty good job with the like physical performing like, he had like his, he has some good facial expressions, especially when he realized that he uses two bullets
Starting point is 00:45:52 to shoot somebody and not shoot the handcuffs off himself. Yeah. I will say that this sequence does end in a moment that I'm like, what is this supposed to be where? Like, he jumps off the tram, like, On a Day Armist reverses the car level with him, so he can jump off the tram onto the car, and I'm like, how is that better? Like, it's still a hard moving target.
Starting point is 00:46:24 Like, I guess theoretically, it's a little less of a drop because it's closer to him and the crunchable metal is softer than the ground, but I don't think that like it's like, oh good, thank you for, it's not like you're like driving, thank you for driving this pile of mattresses beneath me. You're just still less of a leap off onto a car. Maybe he draws energy off of the car like they do in the fast and the furious movies
Starting point is 00:46:48 or it's like, as long as you're landing on a car, you're probably going to be okay. That's, that's the fear. I can't wait for the, what I hope is the next and final movie where it's revealed they live in a magic universe where cars are magic and they're like, in the beginning, God created the car, the perfect object and all the universe came from this car. And they just show planets and galaxies coming out of the nitrous, boost exhaust pipe. And then it reveals that Vin Diesel and the others
Starting point is 00:47:16 are part of like a pantheon of, they're all reincarnations of ancient, you know, Egyptian gods who drove cars around and things like that. I love this. So Prague is now in flames. And it's called fast destiny. It's called fast destiny. That's a perfect idea. Prague is now in flames. Six in the armess infiltrate a hospital in order to track Chloe's pacemaker and then they get attacked by a knife guy assassin who has a very nice suit. A nice guy. No, not a nice guy.
Starting point is 00:47:51 He's a knife guy. You know, you know the deal. Like he pulls out like, he immediately whips out a little switchblade thing. He's like butterfly knife or whatever. Yeah. And Ryan Gosling is one of the nice guys, but he's not playing a very nice guy in the night. No, not really.
Starting point is 00:48:07 He's not playing the nice guy in the nice guys, to be honest, you know. Oh, wait, so was the title a joke? No, no, it accidentally, the movie, the title was switched with that of another movie by accident. It was too late to stop it. There's another movie called The Bad Guys, which is out now, which is a children's movie. Should have been called The Nice Guys, because it's for kids. Oh, yeah, it should have been.
Starting point is 00:48:28 Not the wrong guy. That's got to be fully in it. No, and a lot of good jokes. Not Mr. Wrong, which has Bill Pullman, Ellen DeGeneres, and a lot of bad jokes. Oh, yeah. Okay. This has been helpful. So many other questions just right too.
Starting point is 00:48:44 What are we talking about again? Care of the clubhouse. So the the knife guy assassin who is known as lone wolf, because he operates alone. He manages to steal the medallion drive and he runs off with it. So he runs back to the castle in Prague, they're not in Prague in Croatia. Anodormis and six have to infiltrate the castle by stealing guard uniforms, six rescues, fits and Chloe while Anodormis, as we mentioned before, runs around like Bugs Bunny blowing up everything with a missile launcher. And the way she runs is hilarious. She's got like a ninja mask on her face, but like a sleeveless shirt. And she's got just missiles strapped to her back, you know, rocket strapped her back.
Starting point is 00:49:28 And it looks like, I mean, it hints at a much like kind of sillier, like looser movie that would have been super fun, where she's where she, because it looks like, it looks ridiculous, but in a fun way. It's a huge launcher. Yes. It is big. It's huge. And she is running around like a, like, it's not in a cool way. It's a huge launcher. Yeah, it is big. It's huge. And she is running around like like it's not in a cool way. She's not running around in a like, she knows where everything
Starting point is 00:49:51 is at all times. And she's like, got controlled movements. Like she looks like someone who is hauling ass desperately trying to get this done before someone shoots her. And it's like, oh, this is this is just a hand to the movie that I kind of wish this one was. Uh, she eventually, uh, ends up getting in a battle with, uh, lone wolf in the ruins of the command center, uh, and they're fighting over the drive, but lone wolf gives it up. Uh, and what was going on in that sense? Was it what that he saw? He was fighting her that he stopped. Like he abruptly just stopped. I know. He's fighting her. But earlier also, there was a moment where he's like, you're going to kill a child and like, Chris, I was like, don't worry about a man. And it's clear that this guy is supposed to be like, he has his line.
Starting point is 00:50:38 He's got his own code. But he realized that he almost, that he, that two of them almost strangled each other. And then it's like, oh, I did, because they're backs, and this is another cool kind of setup where they're fighting back, their backs are each to a like a couch or something that's in between them. And they've got like a table,
Starting point is 00:50:54 like a wire or rope that they've wrapped around each other's neck and so they can't, if one of them moves, it strangles both of them and like it's a neat setup. But then it's like, oh, I didn't realize I was fighting you. But cool, forget it. He goes, these people have no honor. And it's like, oh, I didn't realize I was fighting you. We're cool. Forget it.
Starting point is 00:51:05 He goes, these people have no honor. And it's like, did you watch the rest of the movie? Like, of course, they don't. They blew up all those buildings and Prague. Like, what are you talking like this new to you? I don't. Did you realize Danny is a bad guy? And he's like, no, Danny.
Starting point is 00:51:19 He isn't, yeah, he hasn't checked out the, he hasn't checked out the drive yet. Meanwhile, on the battlements of the castle, six and Fitz and Chloe are running away from some goons, but fits get shot. He's like, I can't go on. I'm bleeding. Give me a grenade. And so they give him a grenade. And he has his heroic, he has his heroic final moment blowing up for grenade killing two goons and briefly and convincing Chris Evans. Chris Evans. He has the amazing luck because he's the main bad guy. Explosions don't, he's always the first one to jump out of the way of an explosion.
Starting point is 00:51:49 And like, there's a part earlier where Anadama saves six by shooting a tank dart into Chris Evans, but, and the whole movie, I'm like, why didn't they just shoot him in the head? Like, I don't understand why they, that guy's clearly like a top bad guy. Well, I just want to tell you that she has like, she has her own line, Ali.
Starting point is 00:52:06 She's her own code too, I guess, the trail. No, well, that doesn't, I mean, at that point, she is, she's just been told to like stand down, but she is theoretically on the same side as Chris Evans. So she's like Gung Rogue, like, she's like, I gotta figure out what's going on. Like, it makes sense that she would trink him and then like talk to six.
Starting point is 00:52:24 I guess so. At that point in the movie. They're not Elliott, just to be clear. You know, they're not playing the same characters from knives out, right? Oh, that's what it was. I thought they were still in the knives. Yeah. Of course, she should know he's trouble. He tried to get her arrested, you know? Yeah. Yeah. He was. She also hasn't read the, that character hasn't read this script to the movie. So. I pronounce it in the movie, I say it's to the, because at a certain point I was like,
Starting point is 00:52:49 why do these characters care about what's happening to each other at a certain, like it becomes very personal between six and Lloyd at a certain point when the drive is no longer really an issue when they don't really, they don't really, at a certain point it was like, I don't know why these guys are still fighting other than just alpha male toxicity.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Well, they're mad at each other for trying to kill each other. But that was all business. Like, I don't, like, it's at a certain point. If you're going to get mad at everyone who tries to kill you in the gray man assassin business, then how do you get to finish your day? You're not going to be able to, like, you can't just walk away from it. I, the thing that I'll tell you something though, going back to Chris Evans and the explosion, I'll tell you something that would have made the end of this movie 100% better if half of his mustache had been burned off.
Starting point is 00:53:33 Oh, yes, you're exactly right. The rest of the movie with half of the movie. That I do like that. By the end they are really calling attention to his fancy slip on shoes very heavily. And I noticed them in every shot of the, and what are the capri pants? Yep. So, so at this point, the Gray Man and Chloe are escaping through them from the, using the moat, because they're in a castle. And Chris Evans goes chasing after them. And this is where we get, we get a big twit like just like how a movie of
Starting point is 00:54:03 this caliber has a huge twist ending. This podcast has a little bit of a twist ending because you know what guys? I did not watch the rest of the movie from here because I thought we were recording an hour later. So what the fuck happens in the end of the gray man? Well, you please tell me I am dying here. Okay, tag me in coach. I'll get this one.
Starting point is 00:54:22 You rest and I'll take on the bash brothers here. Okay. Thank you. So they're trying to escape in the in the mode. I didn't take notes because I thought you were taking notes. The important thing is to be clear. I was taking notes. Yeah. The important thing is that Lloyd catches up with six. They catch up to each other. They go into a hedge and Lloyd catches up with them. He captures Claire and puts a flare gun to her head and and and puts Bringser to a hedge maze, which leads to like a little fountain. And at the fountain, Hanson says, I'll let Claire go if you fight me six.
Starting point is 00:54:59 And so six and anodarmus is like, I've got the shot. And he goes, no, no, no, go to the end of the hedge maze and meet the girl there. I'll take this guy on. And so they have a one on one. This makes no sense to him what I wanted to talk about because it's like, or hear me out, shoot Chris Evans and then go get the girl. Well, but I wonder, here's, I, here's where I'll defend this movie because you're right. That's exactly what they should have done. Two things. One, at this point, I like you guys are saying, it's just personal, here's where I'll defend this movie because other, you're right. That's exactly what they should have done.
Starting point is 00:55:25 Two things. One, at this point, I like your guys who are saying he's just personal. He's been trying to kill him. He doesn't like Chris Evans, he's new after him. Two, early in the movie, he wouldn't take the shot because there is a kid possibly in the way. I don't think he trusts and to armist to shoot Chris Evans without hitting the girl. I think he just, at that point, he's like, if she's in the way, I don't, I'm not going
Starting point is 00:55:44 to let him. But then at one point, he, Chris Evans does, as we've said, let the girl. I think he just, at that point, he's like, if she's in the way, I don't, I'm not going to let him. But at one point, he, Chris Evans does, as we've said, let the girl go. Yes. And then he should still just, oh, by then, and armistice is like, oh, to get to the head, you may as I better leave now, or else she's going to be waiting for. I'm going to talk her to the bathroom before I go. There's going to be a lot of good traffic and the hallways of this castle. So I've got to get there. And so it's too bad you missed this fight. Chris Evans and Ryan Gosling have one of those fights where it's not clear why one of them
Starting point is 00:56:11 gets the upper hand at different points. They just got to take turns having the upper hand. And then this is where his abused child training comes in where Chris Evans has Ryan Gosling's face in the water of the fountain. And he flashes back to his own father pushing his face into water, telling him, I will just, I will end you in the kind of stuff that nobody says in real life, but they say in the movies. And so that imbues Ryan Gosling with the berserker faith and rage and the nobility that he needs
Starting point is 00:56:40 to get back. And he's fighting, he's strangling Chris Evans and then boom, someone shoots Chris Evans in the gut. Who is it? Why it's Jessica Henwick. She has decided that she is going to pin everything on Lloyd and six can live as long as he goes along with her story that there is a rogue Chris Evans who did all this damage and it's not her fault or Denny's fault. And, uh, Jake got, and Ryan Gosling is like, I've had come Jake Gosling for some reason. Ryan Gosling is like, yeah, okay, I'll do that as long as the girl is safe. So, movie over, right? No, wrong Stewart. Well, now, and he also says, uh, I'm also losing a lot of blood. So if we're going to do this
Starting point is 00:57:19 to a fast, like, if it's just the plane, he does have a line of like, she goes, she goes, she goes, are you come, like, she goes, are you come, like, are you complying and he goes, uh, can I comply over there and then moves to a more comfortable place to sit? It's great. Now I got a question. This is my ruffle some feathers. The movie is not over yet, but I'm asking questions.
Starting point is 00:57:34 I know. I know. I know. Yeah. But like devil's advocate. There's like 15 minutes left in the movie. But yeah. Devils advocate.
Starting point is 00:57:42 Elliot, you are a father. Uh, did this movie make you feel like maybe if I want my children to succeed in life, I should abuse them. No, it's, you know what, I'm going to be honest and say it didn't that I've never had dreams of my children being super tough, cool assassins with no emotional lives and no personal lives. I've always wanted them to let right now my older son wants to be a Dodgers baseball player slash engineer and One of those more likely in the other, but I won't say which one and my younger son wants to be a scientist who becomes a chocolate maker Who becomes a paleontologist who is sometimes in ninja and I think the ninja I have a lot of issues with but
Starting point is 00:58:19 But otherwise these are life goals. I'm very The lack of the lack of honor, right? But otherwise, these are life goals. I'm very happy for the person. Because of the lack of honor, right? Well, I mean, well, that's a very samurai way of looking at things to it. It's the classiest way of looking. You could say that the ninja are just those that have been deemed less, less important than the samurai trying to defend their own in the only way they can by striking in the shadows.
Starting point is 00:58:39 But you know, that's if you want to be, if you want to be a machito, a college tool. But so should we finish that, but no, it did not, it did not in any way make me feel like I should, I should be a terrible person to my children to motivate them. This is a small thing, but I do want to call out a moment I liked, which
Starting point is 00:58:55 is they have this like last fight in the, uh, uh, fountain in the middle of the hedge maze. Yeah. And, you know, like Chris Evans at this point, it has like a couple of fingers missing. And there's open wounds.
Starting point is 00:59:07 And they get like- He's stabbed trying to fall on so many times. It's crazy. Yeah, and he goes into the water. Chris Evans clearly is like, ah, he gets this founton water on his wound. And he goes, ah! I loved it because I'm like, that's what I think every time
Starting point is 00:59:21 like there's dirty water on an open wound in a movie, yeah. I will say this, this is like, if there was, this is not, I mean, the fight scenes in this movie are great, the choreographed great, like the, the, everyone's doing great job in them. Like, I wish it was shot a little bit more cleanly. But otherwise, I just, it's one of these scenes where I'm like, I'm not quite sure why they're fighting other than to show who's got the biggest dick in this moment. And that is not a reason that I'm,
Starting point is 00:59:48 that really is gonna get me emotionally invested into this fight. You know, at a certain point, I'm watching it just for the, just to watch the choreography, I guess, like an ice skating routine. But, there is, but Chris Evans does give little moments of like character to it that are basically, he gets it, he's playing
Starting point is 01:00:02 a patch on an asshole. So like, it's easy for him to add those moments of character, where he's just kind of a dick or he reacts badly to things. Anyway, so the, there's also a part where Ryan Gosling slams Chris Evans head into like a, into a sculpted vase and it shatters. And I was like, wait a minute, what is this fountain made of that his head just shattered it? Like it shouldn't be made out of concrete.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Like this is crazy. He should be dead if he hit it that hard. But anyway, it's a movie. So they, so now, Suzanne Brewer, Jessica Henwick's character, she has taken, now she's taken Claire, the girl hostage, and basically said, I'll watch her and make sure nothing happens to her, but you have to do what I say six.
Starting point is 01:00:41 And someone meets with Denny and Anna to armist and Jessica Henwick and basically says, I don't like what happened, but I absolve you of all charges. And I assumed this was the old man, but maybe it's somebody else. Maybe it's an, it's maybe it's inspector general. I don't know. He's not named. And now, and Jessica Henwick says to Danny, now six will do whatever I tell him, because I've got this girl.
Starting point is 01:01:02 And she, she's the new Denny now. But at the house where Claire is being held by these gunmen who do make her lunch, they don't, they didn't hire someone else to come make her lunch. The gunman do it for her. She comes back to her room and the record that she played two years ago when Ryan Gosling killed those men in her house to protect her. It's sitting up on her record player with a note that says, play me loud. And she starts playing it loud. That's the cue for Ryan Gosling, who has escaped from the hospital bed that he was imprisoned in.
Starting point is 01:01:34 In one of those escapes where they don't show it, they just show that there's dead or knocked out soldiers lying in hallways and his, and he hit the, the buckle he was handcuffed to his unbuckled. Cause I guess their choreography budget was out. Ryan Gosling goes to the home and kills all the gunman there and takes her away in a jeep and that's the end of the movie. That's the end. This is a part of the movie, by the way, like most of the movie I was actually able to do
Starting point is 01:01:58 whatever it was not able to do, which is like turn off my moral compass. I wish I could do it. I wish I could do it, Dan, but I'm just not as sociopathic as you. At the end of the film, when she puts this record on to cover up the noises of these people getting shot, like the camera actually like shows her sort of pained face as she has her like her hands over her ears to not hear it. And I was thinking like, what a like a horrible thing for this young girl to be involved in this trauma of like over my my protector, my assassin protector told me to
Starting point is 01:02:33 put this record on so I could ignore the screams of the men he's killing to rescue me. Like men potentially families and just made her lunch. Yes. And well, that's the, she's and the body count is enormous in this movie. And there's certain points where it's like these are some of them, I guess, are assassins, the worst of the worst. They're mercenaries, you know, they're, they're just evil people. But a lot of them are also like soldiers or guys who were hired to be bodyguards or something. But anyway, the, uh, unlike the noble assassins who save girls.
Starting point is 01:03:03 Yes. But anyway, well, it's like, so and, and when he saves her from the castle, he keeps saying cover yours, cover your ears because she's genuinely being traumatized by all this violence going on around her. And it's like the movie doesn't have, it's the movie, it's like, I wonder if the movie believed in itself a little bit more like the professional, which is objectively a, not a, like has a lot of not okay things going on in it that, that the fact that it was made by a creep who I think genuinely believed that in the nobility of the main character, like kind of gives that movie a certain weird energy, where you're
Starting point is 01:03:41 like, well, I don't agree with it, but at least I know the guy making it really does believe that you can be a weird, you can be a weird outcast hitman who falls in love with a teenage girl. Like, I don't think it's okay, but at least the guy making it. Whereas this, it's like, it doesn't have that weirdness. So when the, I can't just be like, well, the person making this was a strange person. Instead, I have to be like, oh, regular people made this movie where this girl is repeatedly having to go through her life being put in danger and violence being going on all around her. And with only the thinnest shred of the song Silverbird as a force field to protect her from. Yeah. Before, I mean, before we get into final judgment,
Starting point is 01:04:18 see, mention the guy making this movie is in a weirdo. So the movie is made by the Russo brothers, who struck gold with the various Marvel franchises, but seem to have the various Marvel movies they made, but seem to have trouble operating outside of that. Do you think people are just sick of them or like a want to take them down a peg, or do you think that they just don't operate as well when they aren't using characters that are already beloved to the audience. Well, I mean, specifically with this movie, you know, when they were promoting it, they said a lot of stuff that people online got annoyed at, whether like-
Starting point is 01:04:56 What did they say? Because I'm not familiar with that at all. They were like saying, like, oh, there's nothing like that's sanctified about the theatrical experience. And, you know, like honestly, it's a little elitist to be like, you got to see that movies in the theater and blah, blah, blah, which is, look, if it was a genuinely held belief, that's fine. It's one that I don't agree with, but it's clear that it's just like, they're doing this because they're promoting their big Netflix movie
Starting point is 01:05:27 and their huge beneficiaries of the theatrical experience with Infinity War and in-game and you know, other of their films. And it's just like, I don't know, I think it's disingenuous, yeah. I think it like ticked movie people off a bit and because they have Oh, the movie people have opinions about stuff Because they're part of the Marvel machine, which also people are like turning on a little bit I think that it was I think there's a lot of We got to turn on the Marvel machine, or else it's not gonna work Yeah, I don't there
Starting point is 01:06:00 I have enjoyed their work enough that I will Ignore them saying some dumb things. I don't have particular ill will, but I think that that has a lot to do with it. I wonder, I mean, it's, I feel like I'm always constantly working to perfect separating the art from the artist since there's so much art. I couldn't enjoy if I didn't do that. But I enjoyed their Marvel stuff so much, but I wonder why it is that like, I don't know that their non-Marvel stuff hasn't quite hit the same thing.
Starting point is 01:06:32 And I wonder if it's because they are, it helps for them to be working with characters that already exist or had the bugs worked. I mean, the Graham man is based on a novel series, but I feel like they, they don't really do the character building work that would make me care. And like their first Captain American movie, which was their first Marvel movie, was the second Captain American movie, right? Winter Soldier. So like, they didn't really have to deal with building up who Captain America and Bucky
Starting point is 01:06:58 are in their relationship. They could just do the payoff of Bucky still alive, spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen Winter soldier yet in an eight year old movie that was enormous and the character was the batty. And also the character that is in the other Marvel movie. They're like, wait, this is the one I skipped. Wait a minute. Bucky's in it. I know he's in the later movies, but but I wonder I don't know enough about them as as filmmakers to know why that is. But this one I don't know enough about them as filmmakers to know why that is. But this one, it's partly, it's a movie that should be kind of like a lean, fun action
Starting point is 01:07:31 movie and it's big. It's like a little too big for its own good. It's a little too heavy. Yeah, I've been reading, I just read another one of the, one of the Parker novels, the Richard Star. Parker Lewis novels. Yeah the what? Richard can't lose novels. Yeah, Parker Lewis can't lose novels. Every time I read one, I get another punch on my pizza card. And when I'm done, I get my personal band pizza.
Starting point is 01:07:55 But like in those books, we have a hero who is definitely not a hero. He's a bad guy, but part of the appeal of it is watching is like the procedural element of it. And like having to watch a character go through all the steps of what needs to be done to do his work. And it doesn't make any kind of moral justification as to what he's doing. And I feel like this movie is just like, yeah, he's an assassin, but like, he's a good guy. Yeah. They got jokes sometimes. And I don like this movie is just like, yeah, he's an assassin, but like he's a good guy. Yeah, they got jokes sometimes and I don't know. I think I would like it more if either.
Starting point is 01:08:31 It was bigger or smaller, I feel like. Yeah, yeah, or darker or lighter. It's so in between, it's so gray. It is gray, it's like so in between. Oh, oh, oh ruthless killer, but he's also a pretty good guy. If he was just a ruthless killer, I think I'd like the movie more. It feels like it's almost insulting to the audience a little bit to be like, but he's good around kids. So even though his job is murdering people, that's why he's different than the other guys
Starting point is 01:09:00 whose job is murdering people. And one where I guess the bad guy is supposed to be so bad that you're on the side of the good guy, but the bad guy is so ludicrously. It's hard for me to believe in it in a, I, I, I, I, unless you're in a stylized John Wick type world, it's hard for me to like buy into a world where these covert operatives are just blowing up buildings left and right without ever getting called on their shit, you know? Yeah, it's not as stylish as a John Wick, which I think hurts this movie.
Starting point is 01:09:28 I mean, it's very much, and it very much I think wants to be a John Wick type of thing, but John Wick has that austerity that I think helps put across the ludicrousness of that movie, you know. I mean, it started out with austerities. Yes. It is extremely baroque. No, but this thing starts out with the first movie has that has that super austere way of doing it. The next movie is bonkers. And the third movie gets more bonkers. But this movie, it's like they established the foundation basically. It's the same way that the fast and the fierce movies weren't always them surfing on cars
Starting point is 01:09:56 and flying through the air and stuff like that. Going about her space, yeah. Going about her space. Yeah, once upon a time there were just point break. It's so funny that when that first movie came space, yeah. Going about her space. Yeah, that one. Once upon a time, there was just point break. It's so funny. It's so funny that when that first meeting came out, I remember so well, people being like, oh, it's so refreshing to see just like a stripped down little action thriller without all
Starting point is 01:10:14 the bells and whistles. And then it became the most belliest whistle list franchise. They're going to have to go. They're going to have to drive so fast they go back in time and visit their younger selves and be like, you guys gotta start learning all kinds of shit because you're gonna be flying. You're gonna be doing, I feel like at this point those are ways to do it.
Starting point is 01:10:33 You could zoom into Vin Diesel's blood and reveal that his blood cells are tiny cars. They're driving around. Zoom out and reveal that this was all happening inside of Vin Diesel's body. They could do anything at this point. It's amazing. But they built to it. They built to it. They worked. It all works. Yeah. We've kind of been, we've kind of been soaking in it already,
Starting point is 01:10:52 but we got to do our final judgments, whether it's a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie. We kind of like, I think I'm the outlier here. And that I have to say, I actually kind of like, I think it's too long. It's two and a half hours long. 15 minutes of that is credits, but still even at that it's too long. But yeah. But I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's just on the sliding scale of kind of mediocre action movies that we've done on the podcast. I think it's near the top for me. It's certainly near the top of Netflix would be blockbusters for me, just because it is, it has a talented group of actors and directors doing a basically generic film.
Starting point is 01:11:38 This is a mild challenge, but Dan, can you name one other Netflix would be blockbuster? Oh, sure. There's the Adam project. but Dan, can you name one other Netflix would be Blockbuster? Oh, sure. There's the Adam Project. Okay. Right. There we haven't covered on the podcast. Okay. Anola Holmes, I guess, kind of is that. What's the one with Shirley's therein
Starting point is 01:11:56 where they're like Immortal Assassins? Old guard. That's the rules. Old guard guards rule. I was thinking, that's the best. Old guard's probably the best one of those. Yeah. Best one of the dumb action movies. I think six underground is another one that we didn't do,
Starting point is 01:12:09 but that's a. Oh, right. For me, this is a bad, bad movie on paper. Like, it's got a great cast. They're the set piece ideas are really good. Like, but it was, this is the first time I felt recently like where I was watching movie, there's a story that Steven Soderbergh tells about
Starting point is 01:12:24 being on an airplane flight, and the guy sitting next to him watching action movies and just fast forwarding to the action scenes, and only watching the action scenes and skipping all the talking scenes. And there were times when I kind of felt like that was the experience I was having. And at that point, it becomes pornography
Starting point is 01:12:38 more than a story. Like, and so for me watching it, it was like, the script is, or the story is so generic, the characters are so generic, and they're so little in between the action scenes that it felt to a certain point like, you know, like I was filling up on candy, you know, I don't want that much, like I like a little bit of candy, I don't need to eat seven bags of candy. And so at a certain point, it made, you know, makes my tummy hurt. So that's kind of what the experience was like for me. But the elements are all there.
Starting point is 01:13:06 I just wish that they had like, if they had cut out one big action sequence and filled that space with the characters doing something that gave me a reason to care about what they were doing, that's all, I think that would have fixed a lot for me in this movie. Yeah, I mean, I feel like, I mean, I guess this kind of fits in a gray area between a movie
Starting point is 01:13:28 I kind of liked and a bad, bad movie because it's not like with the exception of a few like moments in some of the action sequences, there's nothing particularly that felt new or original, just all felt like reshuffled, you know, stuff from various action movie playbooks. And it doesn't, didn't do the legwork to make me care about anything. Yes. So, and I mean, obviously, I like basically every member of the cast is great in other things. And they're not necessarily bad in here. They just don't have anything to work with. So it feels like it feels like a, oh, sorry, it's just a
Starting point is 01:14:10 build on it. It feels like a crime to me, the way they used Alphry Woodard in this, where she's so amazing. And they stuck her in the black woman who's in charge of a covered ops thing role. But she's, she's also playing the retired, the retired former head who is now dying of cancer. She gets a noble sacrifice though, Elliot. And it gives us like Billy Bob Thornton gets later on, which is a pretty lame nobles. They both had lame nobles. They're very lame.
Starting point is 01:14:37 They can kill like a named bad guy. Well, also that Billy Bob Thornton, instead of just killing the bad guys has to get in a little wisecrack dig at Chris Evans, which gives Chris Evans enough time to recognize this a grenade there and get out of the way. And it's like, what kind of spy are you? Just what kind of hitman? But that Alfred Woodard is given, it's emblematic of like, there's a lot of really great actress
Starting point is 01:14:58 in this who are not given very much to do. And Chris Evans is given so much scenery to chew in a fun way, but it's like Chris, like went hogging the scenery, like let somebody else chew that scenery, you know, like give someone else a thing to do, not that he's in charge of the movie. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if we can put that on Chris. No. Yeah. Okay. Well, a spectrum of reaction. Which we this was, I feel like this was a, there's me. The way we talked about Firestarter and when we were like, this movie looks cheap. And it's very thin. This movie looked very expensive. It was still very thin. But they both felt like direct to video type stuff.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Bear. It could happen to you. You're all grown up now. A professional adult with diverse interests and hobbies. And one of those hobbies is video games. You just can't help it. They're so good now. If that's you, we're here to tell you you are completely normal. I'm Maddie Myers.
Starting point is 01:16:03 I'm Jason Shire. And I'm Kirk Hamilton, and together we form Triple Click, a podcast about video games. If you think you might be a person who likes video games, we hope you'll give Triple Click a listen. Triple Click! New episodes every Thursday on Maximum Fun.
Starting point is 01:16:21 Hey kid. Your dad tell you about the time he broke Stephen Dorf's nose that the kids choice awards. In Dead Pilots Society, scripts that were developed by studios and networks, but were never produced, are given the table reads they deserve. When I was a kid I had to spend my Christmas break filming a PSA about Angel Dust, so yeah, being a kid sucks sometimes. Presented by Andrew Reich and Ben Blacker,
Starting point is 01:16:46 Dead Pilots Society, twice a month on MaximumFun.org. You know, the show you like, Thaig Hobo with a scar for lives in a magic dumpster? LAUGHTER Doctor Hume. Yeah! LAUGHTER Let us take a moment to talk about our sponsors, the flop house brought to you by the
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Starting point is 01:18:47 Elliot is trying to listen to something. I can see. I heard a child crying. I just want to make sure that they're, see if they're okay still. Now, if you're like, is it, is it? Thank God it's someone else's child crying. Yeah, I don't. Because that, that's, that leaves more happiness for my children.
Starting point is 01:19:03 There's a limit in supply of happiness. Yep. Every child that cries means more happiness for my children. There's a limit in supply of happiness. Yep. Every child that cries means more happiness for my kids. Hey, everybody. Stuart, what's that? We got a Jojo Jojo Motron. Do you enjoy media? Do you enjoy a media that has a subversive sense of humor?
Starting point is 01:19:24 Do you love things that are so bad? They're good. Don't understand what RuPaul means when she says a Queen's Lucas camp. Then check out is it camp a podcast all about the queer subgenre of camp hosts Sam and Sarah a camp. Hosts Sam and Sarah, a drag pro wrestler, and an enthusiastic nerd, and both queer, discuss films, TV, music, books, and any media they think might be camp. Search Is It Camp, or at Is It Camp Pod on all socials. Sam is at Reese Indigo, That's our H Y S I N D I G O and Sarah is at source sour citrus lady. That's S O U R C I T R U S L A D Y. Bye. So search for is it camp on all your podcasters of choice and subscribe or follow on their
Starting point is 01:20:25 socials at is it camp and follow the host at Reese Indigo and at sour citrus lady. I did it guys. That was amazing, but it was fun. You should feel very proud. Thank you. Anyone have any other plugs before we move on to the next section? Sure, I'd love to plug that the second volume of the maniac of New York series, maniac of New York, the Bronx is burning is out in a collected trade in stores now. Go to your local convoc store, find it there. maniac of New York volume two, the Bronx is burning on shelves now. If you haven't read the first volume, maniac of New York, the death train, they come both
Starting point is 01:21:02 up. They're good. I like them. Pat and I always start out how much you like some Stewart thinks they're great. So the thing is the idea that the idea that my friend Elliott has made a very good comic that is a twist on Friday the 13th makes me slightly jealous, but it is good enough that I get over my jealousy almost immediately. Oh, thank you Stu. I appreciate that. Just clicking
Starting point is 01:21:26 by now and I'm your order. But he's not buying your book. He's buying some socks. I am buying your book, although on a major commerce website that I will mention. Good cover. Excellent. Excellent. There's no image available for the cover. Oh, if I click on it, I see it. Oh, wow. This is all fascinating content. Some sliver, some sliver, sliver, slu, sliver, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu,
Starting point is 01:22:04 slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, slu, sl we're plugging shit, you know what? In addition to being a super fun, cool podcaster, I also own a couple of bars in Brooklyn. One is called hinterlands bar. The other is called minis bar. You know what? If you're in Brooklyn and you need to wet your whistle, go to one of those bars, hinterlands bar minis bar. Why not? If it's if it's hinterlands, I might even be there. Dan might never know. Man, he's a little further away, but he still might be there. Still possibly possible. Dan, help him out. Come on. It has happened. Let's move on to letters from listeners. Lister's like you. You write them. We read them. This one is from
Starting point is 01:22:39 Timothy Greenman, not the other way around. We're not writing anything for you to read, except it's less. It's maniac of New York. Yeah. Yeah. I write that. That's the agreement. Not the other way around. We're not writing anything for you to read, except it's less it's maniac of New York. Yeah. I write that. That's true. This letter, well, we've all certainly had a wonderful time discussing slash debating the merits of Kansas's fifth largest city, Topeka, but the time to get serious has come upon us.
Starting point is 01:23:00 It's time to discuss somewhere else, a place known for the world's smallest natural waterfall, that claims the director of purple rain amongst its residents, that both the writer of Captain America, symbol of truth, Tochi Anya Bucci, amongst its former residents. The birthplace of the Eddie Current Game Call, what? The place where Amy Archer-G Gilligan, the inspiration for arsenic and old lace may have claimed her first victims. That's right. It's time to talk about Newington Connecticut. Please feel free to commence. Warmest regards to Timothy last name will tell well, it seems like you've covered all the bases. Yeah, I think I think I lay
Starting point is 01:23:40 it sharpening his knives over there. He can't wait to dig in. Mm-hmm. I'm sad. I'm sad. I'm sorry if I mispronounce it. I'm sad about it too. Yeah. I'm sad just in general, but I'm sorry about that. Wait, new engine? Can I get it? Yeah. Okay. New I&G ton. That's a ton of newings. I feel like it sounds like it made up. Sounds like it made up town. But thanks for writing in. I'm sure we'll we're going to do some research and roast the fuck out of it on our next mini. That's Dan's next mini called newington.
Starting point is 01:24:15 Where is that? Who cares? It'll have to do that as a mini now. Of course, the thing is this writer didn't didn't give us their opinion of newington, right? Like we're more people saying. They don't want to poison the wealth. That's true. They don't want to, they don't want to pre-discriminate the jury. Sure. Regidiz it. You do bring up a good point that the construction of a Newington sounds like someone is just sort of like as they go along. I mean, like, uh, it's New England. it's new. Ang. I know.
Starting point is 01:24:46 Connecticut. Things going on. Is that really that's where you're from? Can you tell me the name of it again? Yeah. Well, why don't you read it back to me? And I'll tell you if it was right. This letter is from Stephen last name with held. Right. Hi, peaches on the grave. I've been following some of Stuart's exercise journey via the clock app. Cool. Who hasn't?
Starting point is 01:25:09 But I'm curious. It's America's journey. It's America's journey at this point. Yeah. Have we done this already? Share, workout routine. Have I, have you talked about this on the podcast? Work out routine is find the most useful.
Starting point is 01:25:21 I've went from high movement teaching jobs straight to a desk job and need desperately to kick off my own exercise journey. So any tips will help. That's a, I don't know. I'm always happy to talk about working out because I don't do anything else because I'm pretty boring. But let's see.
Starting point is 01:25:39 For me, the thing that kind of started my journey was throwing out my back at the start of the pandemic. So I started doing a lot of core strength, it was mainly lower back focus. So I did a lot of core strengthening stuff. And I do, so like leg lifts, reverse leg lifts, some like bridges, bird dogs, dead bugs. All that kind of stuff.
Starting point is 01:26:03 Swats and supplementing that with stretching for about at least 30 minutes every morning with a lot of leg and back stuff. But then since then, I have, I started going to the gym when they reopened and I have a trainer that I like a lot and I'm doing a lot of strength training. So I do a four day a week upper lower split, two leg lower body days, two upper body days, and those upper body days are a nice mix of push pull exercises. And I like it so far.
Starting point is 01:26:37 And I like, I never thought I would be, I would like weightlifting. I don't know why. I don't know why I never like, I think there is, there's a little bit of a, you know, like, I didn't know how to use the equipment and I didn't want to ask anybody. So it wasn't until I got a trainer
Starting point is 01:26:56 who gave me some direction that I felt comfortable with it. And I fucking love it. Like there's something, there's something so satisfying for me. Some people when they work out really like to like variety and they like to do a lot of different things. So they take their mind off the fact that they're working out me. I like to do the same shit over and over and over. So like I like to see like slow steady generally slow and steady small improvements in the amount of weight I'm lifting and taking breaks and listening to music and just like keeping track of my progress.
Starting point is 01:27:32 And I find that really rewarding and it has made exercise really fun for me. So that's it, work, lift weights. So that fulfills the educational content requirement of this. Yeah. Now we can send it through the mail at media. The government's been cracking down on us. Let's, let's, you know, let's make some recommendations of movies that people should watch
Starting point is 01:27:58 instead of this and then put a bow on the whole thing. Let's bow. My recommendation is I recently rewatched Lilo and Stitch from 2002. I don't know. I had it. I've had an itch to see some stitch. I don't know why. Dan, why you say we just like that at the end of the show. Yeah. I don't I don't know what it was. I I've been wanting to rewatch it. I remembered liking it at the time. You know, the 90s Disney Renaissance had passed
Starting point is 01:28:32 and they were kind of like at a point of like at a crossroads trying to figure out. They were having some not that successful movies and Lilo's and Stitcher came out, tried something a little different and was their most successful movie in a while at that time, you know, after having that dip. And I like it because it's a contemporary story. You know, it's not like so many Disney movies are not contemporary. I like that the look of it is
Starting point is 01:29:04 kind of this beautiful watercolor look that you don't see a lot there's a lot of character comedy like just like the kid acts like a real little kid and there's a there's a very sort of Calvin and Hobbs quality to the relationship and also, you know, as Audrey is a you know her families from the. This is about Polynesian sisters in Hawaii. It's sort of, obviously not the same, but Pacific Islander culture. And it's good to see that in Disney, like years before Moana was a sparkle in anyone's eye. And so it's a movie that I think has gotten a cult following as much as anything from Disney, one of the world's biggest conglomerates
Starting point is 01:29:55 can have a cult of following over the years. But it's still a little under the radar. And I think it's just a lot of fun. So that's my every it when it came out. I feel like it came out when I was past the age where I was seeing children's movies often. Well, 2002, so I was 20 days old. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:30:19 Yeah. And it wasn't like any reason to get, but for whatever reason I've never gotten around to checking it out. And I feel like like any reason to get, but for whatever reason I've never gotten around to checking it out. And I feel like I keep meaning to and people seem to really like it. I feel like it's got, I don't know if, I think it's fair to say it's gotten a little bit of a re-evaluation, but kind of it has. And maybe I'll give it a shot. It's also 90 minutes. So, you know, love that. That's the commitment. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my moving. That's my shot. It's, it's also 90 minutes. So, you know, love that commitment.
Starting point is 01:30:45 No, it's a fun movie adventure. LA, you got something in the pipe. I do. I'm going to recommend a movie, a kind of, a fluffy kind of little movie from 1937 called The Man Who Could Work Miracles. This is a British movie that stars Roland Young and a sub and a bunch of the people Ralph Richardson's in it. Ernest Thessiger, who played Dr. Pretories and Brian Frankenstein, he appears in it. And it's directed by a guy named Lothar Mendes, which Mendes, which I only bring up because Lothar is a fantastic first name. But it's based on an H.D. Wells story, and he worked on the script. And it's just about this guy who, for some reason,
Starting point is 01:31:28 the eternal gods of the universe decided to give one man the power to work miracles, essentially whatever he wishes for happens. And they want to see what's going to happen to him. And he starts out with very modest ambitions and very much influenced by the people around him telling him what he should do with his power. And eventually he goes a little overboard with it.
Starting point is 01:31:48 And it's a movie that I found very like kind of quaintly delightful. It's like a quaint little British mood, like kind of fantasy movie that sometimes kind of silly and sometimes takes itself a little too seriously in the way of like thinking it's making a profound message. But overall, I thought it was just fun. So that's the man who could work miracles. Let's do what about you? I'm gonna recommend a big movie
Starting point is 01:32:10 that you've probably already heard about, but I think I would like to throw my hat and say it is definitely good. I'm gonna recommend Nope Jordan Peel's latest movie. It's a lot of fun. It's different than his other two, the most beautiful thing I've ever ever seen in a movie. It's a lot of fun. It's different than his other two.
Starting point is 01:32:31 But he gets some great performances. I don't want to go too much into the plot, but the movie manages to be both disturbing and like touching it times and it's fun. And again, not to go to into the plot, but Dan and I are both big fans of this movie in part, I think, because we're also big fans of a little movie starring Kevin Bacon and Fred, what's his name from Fred Ward?
Starting point is 01:32:54 Yeah, yeah, a little movie called Tremors. So if you like Tremors and you haven't seen Nope yet, check out, no, why not? It also does feature a character doing a fucking Akira motorcycle slide, which it's going to be hard for me not to like you movie. So give it a shot. Again, nope. Well, that's it. It's been a while since we've said this. But if you have a moment, maybe go to iTunes, leave a positive review to help us spread word about the show.
Starting point is 01:33:26 If you want to leave a negative review, maybe put that energy into meditation or painting, fix your relationships. Anything other than, anything other than leaving a review, don't put your energy into that. Yeah, yeah. We just have a positive review just for the, the self-control I showed in not doing an Abbott and Cust custolo title style routine which I asked to do if you want to see a movie and he says nope and I go oh so you don't want to see a movie he goes yeah I want to see movie okay which movie you want to see nope so I thought you said you did
Starting point is 01:33:54 want to see a movie you don't want to go see a movie I want to see a movie what movie nope okay so you don't want to see movie so anyway so if you appreciate us not doing so thank you so if you want to thank us for not doing that bit, then go ahead and leave. It's great that LA did the whole bit by himself because I'm sure that if we try to do it together, we would have just fucked it up. Yeah. Certainly without pre-pointing. If you want to follow us on Twitter, we're at the Flop House pod.
Starting point is 01:34:22 And we're also at the Flophouse podcast on Instagram. A few extra letters on the end of that. Our home is FlophousePodcast.com. If you want to check out that site and as stated before, we are part of the Maximum Fund Network. They are at MaximumFund.org. They have a ton of great podcasts. I'm sure there are other ones you would enjoy if you give them a try. And lastly, thank you to Alex Smith is at Howell Daudy on Twitter. Thank you for retweeting the news about Kevin Smith's continuing, horny relationship with his wife.
Starting point is 01:35:04 It's inspiring. Alex also retweeted that video of you performing in hair because in the background, you can kind of make out Alex's, it was playing guitar for the band on that performance. And you can kind of see a little Alex in the back. Rewatching that, I fucking love that shit. Seeing Dan with his hair and man, I love it. Two thumbs up. If you want to see, like, a 45-second clip of me singing the
Starting point is 01:35:30 title song from there, you can go check that out at our Twitter. But anyway, thank you for being here for the podcast, for the flop house, in fact, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot Kaylen. Bye. Bang. Shorter than the great man. We did it guys. Boom, finally.
Starting point is 01:35:51 We've finally made it to do it in episode shorter than the movie. More like the board identity, am I right? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Toppable. Um, she's live, damn it. Let's do it. It's a miracle. Maximumfund.org. Comedy and culture. Artists owned. Audience supported.

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