The Flop House - Episode #434 - Robot in the Family

Episode Date: September 28, 2024

For our second Smalltember/Smallvember pick, we take on a film that Dan vetoed last year because he feared his fragile psyche could not take a repeat viewing, but -- like a bad giant golden robot -- i...t always turns up! Robot in the Family is its name, and it's a sustained 85 minute panic attack in the form of a low-budget 90's "family" comedy.FlopTV is going strong! You can pop in for individual episodes, or get a price break with a season pass — more info (including the full line-up of films discussed) and tickets are available here! And hey, while you’re clicking on stuff, why not subscribe to our NEWSLETTER, “Flop Secrets?!”Wikipedia page for Robot in the FamilyRecommended in this episode:The House by the Cemetery (1981)Rye Lane (2023)The Deep End (2001)Go to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.squarespace.com/FLOP  to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.Head to factormeals.com/flop50 and use code flop50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 On this episode we discuss Robot in the Family! It's a small Vember... What's the opposite of a miracle? Hey everyone, welcome to the Flophouse. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey, I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Ellie Kaelin. Dan, what do we do on this podcast usually and also today? Wow.
Starting point is 00:00:42 We had so much energy before the show and then as soon as the show started, Elliott just visibly got tired. Maybe it was just the- I'm just tired of my own name. Maybe it's time for a new one. So flop listeners, write in. It's the Elliott's New Name Contest. Prize?
Starting point is 00:00:55 I don't think there is one, except maybe that I'll use that new name legally for the rest of my life. Yeah. I think it's probably that you remembered what we do on this podcast, which is we watch a bad movie and we talk about it and it being small Timbers last member I watched in Denver and robot in the family a We did a classic of the smaller bad movie genre We've been going back a little bit, you know reaching into the movie archives
Starting point is 00:01:21 The obvious more frequently than we used to. Yeah, people, this one's got some notoriety, right? This is like a well-known bad movie. Yeah, we are not the first ones to pick over this one. Although I will say, since I first saw this movie at least 22, 23 years ago, that maybe I was on the avant-garde. Yeah, the first time you saw it at the IFC center or something. IFC sandwich. IFC center. It was at an IFC sandwich, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:51 International film club sandwich. It's not on the level of The Room or Troll 2 or Plan Night from Outer Space. It's not one of these super well-known as bad movies get. No bad movies truly. It's also not the level of say, Slow Bullet, a movie that I might be the only person to have seen, it turns out. Possible.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Is there a IMDB or letterbox profile for Slow Bullet, I like, or is it something? There is an IMDB profile now, I think. For years ago, I tried to make one and the site rejected it, but I believe there is one now. Yeah, like, zapped your hands. Spit it up. Yeah. Yeah, I was saying. one and the site rejected it. But I believe there is one now. Yeah, like zap your head up. Yeah. Yeah, I was saying.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Yeah, the computer shocked me. I went, whoa. I was saying beforehand, this is the second time I've seen this movie. And Elliot said, this is the third time he has seen it. I believe it's the third time. This one used to be one of the favorites of me and my old friend, Eric, who has been on the podcast
Starting point is 00:02:42 before Eric Marszak. We used to watch a lot of bed movies together when we were young bachelors with nothing but time on our hands. And this was one that we watched at least, I think, twice. So. I mean, you really do have to watch it at least twice to have any semblance of any sense of what's happening.
Starting point is 00:03:00 Okay, so that's what I did wrong. It's gonna be just watch it twice. Yeah, yeah. I barely understood. I mean, it's a real puzzle box. Yeah, just watch it. Yeah. Yeah, I barely understood I mean like a real puzzle box Yeah the first time you're just taking in the sensations the second time is when you can pick up on the on the intricately laid plot clues well the plot itself while stupid and
Starting point is 00:03:15 Weird you know is very simple, but the fact that everyone is constantly talking over one another in this movie I think yes a big impediment Sounds like a podcast, I know. Yeah. I mean, but this podcast, it's not an annoying person who just makes up stupid songs and comments on nothing. Uh-oh. Well, at least I don't call you guys mommy and daddy,
Starting point is 00:03:40 like the robot does to the adults in this movie. Yeah. Alex, find the evidence, get all the receipts of LA College. At least you're not coded as Jewish like this robot is. Yeah, you're right. I'm also not an annoying Jew like the robot in the movie is. Yeah, speaking of Jewishness, I'm glad that this movie like really captures the feel of New York City, kind of like an uncut gems type thing.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Well, the weird thing about this movie is, so when we'll get, I'll get a little bit of a plot moment. This movie is it's nonsens get, I'll get into the plot in a moment. This movie is, it's nonsensically made. Like it's thrown together as if they were just trying to, as my old AP psychology professor used to say, if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Starting point is 00:04:17 And it feels like this movie is trying to do that by just throwing shit at you constantly. But also it is very much shot on location in New York and specifically a stretch of Broadway that I traveled very often as an NYU student going from my dorm on 14th street and eventually my dorm on 25th street down to the NYU campus. And so it's this stretch of antique shops on Broadway
Starting point is 00:04:37 that when I first saw this movie, it was as if I saw someone I knew in a movie. Like I was like excited. I was like, wait, this was all shot in an area I know really well that I've walked through many times. And so that it is very strange that it is, it is not a movie that where New York becomes a character. And yet in some ways it is,
Starting point is 00:04:53 cause it's so shot on location. It's so incredibly on location. And I'm sure they probably pulled all the necessary permits to film. Oh, you gotta believe it. You gotta believe it. I thought you were going to say they probably put a sign up that said, you know, robot in the family was shot here. Joe Panleotto, you know, signs, headshots for everyone.
Starting point is 00:05:10 I would love to do that as a prank, just to put a plaque on one of these buildings. Yeah, this has stars, people. Joey Pantz, John O'Dane. Well, Joey Pantz was not yet a star. This is 1994. This is pre-, I mean, Joe Panilano had been in movies, but this is pre The Matrix, Sopranos, Bound, right? Turkish-American antique shop owner. I don't think so. Slash inventor.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Slash inventor. Yeah, this is a movie that proves it. The big name in it is John Rhys Davies, yeah. Oh yes, Mr. Sliders. Oh, Joey Pants can do a bad performance. It's weird, you know. But he really throws himself into it. He throws himself into it, you know.
Starting point is 00:05:49 In the performances, would you describe the comedy in this movie as broad? I think so. I think I would. I think the comedy and the ethnic characterizations I would describe as broad. Yeah. So the biggest star in the movie is John Rhys Davies, who plays the villain. But the second biggest potentially at this point in time. So one of the several people who is credited as playing the robot gold digger is named
Starting point is 00:06:14 Patrick Shanley. And I was going to make a joke that this was John Patrick Shanley until I looked up on IMDb that other people have also credited John Patrick Shanley as being this Patrick Shanley. So John Patrick Shanley, if you're listening, because you were brought in by that Wild Mountain Time episode, a movie you wrote and directed, let us know, were you one of the people inside
Starting point is 00:06:31 that very heavy, uncomfortable-looking gold digger costume? We have to find out. That would be a really cool little piece of trivia for us to honor. Yeah, it seems unlikely since this is post-Moonstruck. Right. It'd be a downgrade, is what you're saying. It'd be a downgrade is what you're saying.
Starting point is 00:06:46 For someone who was already writing and also I believe directing movies by this point. Maybe, but maybe he was doing it for just love of the game, you know? That's true, as part of the local New York film community. Yeah, possibly. Well, should we talk about what this movie's about or Dan, do you want to preview it anymore?
Starting point is 00:07:01 No, let's get into it. No, there was something I wanted to bring up, but I think it's more effective later on, so let's talk about it. Okay, you was something I wanted to bring up, but I think it's more effective later on, so let's talk about it. Okay, you got it. Well, the movie starts with a promise that it cannot fulfill, because one of the production companies
Starting point is 00:07:12 is called Amazing Movies. Is this something that will not be? Now, how did you guys watch it? Did you guys also watch this movie, a VHS rip that's available on YouTube? I believe that was the only way I could find it. Other than going to Eric and watching his VHS copy, I assume he still owns.
Starting point is 00:07:29 I don't know that Criterion has put out a disc on this one yet. But yeah, I mean, in a way it's an amazing movie. I was amazed by it. I mean, you gotta say, there's a certain point where you're like, hey, they made it. It exists.
Starting point is 00:07:43 They sure did. They put a lot of energy into it, you know? And there's one, there are a couple of very good shots in it. There's one shot I really love later on, the one where when the wife is endlessly entertaining the sanitation workers, they don't dig up her septic tank. There's an empty bowl of popcorn in the foreground.
Starting point is 00:08:01 Her hand lifts it up to reveal the sanitation workers are still there watching TV. And then she puts down a full bowl of popcorn blocking them. I'm like, that's a good shot. It reveals a little bit of information. It's progressing a storyline. There's not a lot of those. I mean, there was an effort put into this movie.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Like, the robot costume doesn't particularly look good, but it's sort of impressive in its way. It looks built. It looks like someone made it. It's got a lot of lights that go on and off. I like some of the electricity special effects. That's true. Sure, sure, yeah. Classic.
Starting point is 00:08:31 There's some great 80s electricity effects. Of course, this movie is from 1994, but they are great 80s effects. Yep. So it's an amazing movie. So we've all agreed it's an amazing movie. There's a little bit of an opening scene. Some where vaguely Middle Eastern-y, some robed figures with their backs to us, probably to hide the fact that they are not
Starting point is 00:08:50 actually Middle Eastern people, are worshiping a gold mask in a case. Unlike Joe Pantaleano. Right. They're worshiping a- During a sensitive portrayal. It's sensitively constantly screaming in an accent portrayal of a Turkish American immigrant.
Starting point is 00:09:05 These figures are worshiping a golden helmet mask, which is immediately stolen. Someone smashes the case and takes it. Uh-oh, robot in the family, right guys? Yep, that makes sense. I like this because it asks a lot of questions. Yeah, movie's not gonna answer them. No, it's right, the movie will answer some of them.
Starting point is 00:09:24 Well, I also enjoy that, well, I wouldn't say I enjoy, but later on we find out that apparently this helmet is the reason why there's a strife in the Middle East, which seems to be, let's say, a wild oversimplification of the issues. Oh, if only it were that simple. If you're looking at this movie for a nuanced interpretation of the problems in the Middle East, then I think you're looking at this movie for a nuanced interpretation
Starting point is 00:09:45 of the problems in the Middle East, then I think you're barking up the wrong tree. Yeah. Yeah. Barking up the wrong cedar or perhaps olive tree, considering the location. So now we're in New York, we're introduced to Jack Shamir, who's played by Joe Pantoliano. He is an immigrant who it is,
Starting point is 00:10:01 I guess eventually revealed is Turkish, right? He is inventing a robot named Gold Digger, who he describes as a hero and also a gold detector who will bring him gold. And so Gold Digger has three main characteristics. One, he can detect gold. Two, if he hears someone scream, he immediately calls 911. Three, he constantly babbles in a Jerry Lewis impression,
Starting point is 00:10:26 constantly, nonstop talking. Sometimes it's gibberish, sometimes it's nursery rhymes. And he always calls his adventure daddy. And it turns out to be, this is actually a dream. It turns out this whole sequence, it's a dream guys, because he's actually an antiques dealer who cannot pay his family's bills. As his wife explains while they're waking up in some
Starting point is 00:10:46 hilariously dubbed ADRVO, it's supposed to be her dialogue, but it's clearly has been added after the fact and does not match anything her mouth is saying. Guys, what do you think about this? It really set my expectations for the rest of this movie. Well, number one, I didn't realize it was a dream sequence. This is one of many things I will have missed during the course of this movie.
Starting point is 00:11:08 Number two, this does bring up one of the things I wanted to talk about in the character of Gold Digger, which is I can only assume that all of this dialogue. What does he look like real quick, Gold Digger? Can you describe Gold Digger for me? He looks kind of like if you took one of those wind-up robot toys But you added a bunch of extraneous sort of like wires and doodads just sort of like glued them on and he's gold himself
Starting point is 00:11:34 He has a very boxy body much like you would expect of a robot that is clearly a costume that goes around a human. Yeah But the main thing I wanted to say if C3PO had the he's not like if C-3PO had the boxy shape of an 80s suit, you know? Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, like if somebody was, if some kids were trying to make a costume for the Tin Man in the Wiz, but the production had to be seen from outer space.
Starting point is 00:11:59 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's a big, he's a big, big guy, big gold guy. His face is kind of cool, to be honest. It's not cute or fun, but it is kind of, he looks like a sculpture, you know. He got to the end of a sentence five minutes later. What I wondered was, do you think all of his dialogue,
Starting point is 00:12:21 like literally all of it was added later? Like it feels like- Yes, 100,000% yes. Okay. It feels like they were just like, okay, now that we have the movie, you just improvise a constant stream of prattle, please. Certainly there are scenes where his dialogue is describing what's going on
Starting point is 00:12:37 and he kind of interacts with characters, but in a way where it's clear that his dialogue was not being said on set particularly. Yeah. And because it's not always, I mean the audio levels are wildly varying because obviously they dubbed in all the robot dialogue. But also the things he says sometimes have information the other characters respond to but very often it's just a stream of describing what's happening or yeah, hickory dickory dock that kind of stuff.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Right. And while other people are talking frequently. Like there's no space for dialogue when Gold Digger is around. This is a movie that believes that, look, you paid for it, it's going to give you the full amount of visual and audio for the runtime. There will be no quiet moments. There will be constant streams of cuts. And also when you're in Gold Digger's point of view, there's little animations down in
Starting point is 00:13:22 the corner that are kind of like metaphorical or allegorical descriptions of what's going on, you know, interpretation of what's going on. The movie is really overstimulating you. It's like this is what it must feel like to be inside of my son's head since he deals with kind of like sensory stimulation. It's a lot like the new album by the Grindcore band Concrete Winds where it feels like they have compressed every possible amount of music into the tiniest amount of time.
Starting point is 00:13:47 You're like, oh perfect, if I listen very carefully I can maybe hear a note or a melody, but for the most part it just sounds like somebody's blasting my face off with a belt sander. Thank you for warning me about something that would make me feel very anxious and unhappy. Yeah, cause Dan, you were about to listen to that album, right? Yeah. Dan's like, Dan, you were about to listen to that album, right?
Starting point is 00:14:05 Yeah, I know. He's like, oh, I'm sick of all these poser death metal bands. I want something that's serious. But the other thing about Gold Digger... It's a great record, by the way. Super good. I like this movie. Being someone... Being a robot built in part to find gold, he's very bad at his job.
Starting point is 00:14:21 Most of the... Until the end, most of the time he finds that his gold is not gold. That's true, but he does find gold at the end. I mean, he's not a good robot. He's not good at his job. Most of the, until the end, most of the time he finds that his gold is not gold. That's true, but he does find gold at the end. I mean, he's not a good robot. He's not good at what he does. He's frequently told gold digger, stay here and guard the car. And then he will wander off, allowing a police officer to give the car ticket, which he responds to by shocking that police officer.
Starting point is 00:14:38 That was more than once. So yes, this, this, this police officer's an interesting character too. We'll get to him. We'll get to him. He's a real walking cartoon of a character. And I think the same actor, I believe also plays some of the immigrant and Orthodox Jewish characters that show up in other scenes.
Starting point is 00:14:58 So I will mention also that The Wife is played by Amy Wright, who is an actress who's been in many great things. You know, she's in the Deer Hunter, she's in Breaking Away, she's in Wise Blood, and she was married to Rip Torn for a very long time. And so I just imagine her shooting robots in the family during the day,
Starting point is 00:15:14 and then going home to Rip Torn. So how was shooting today? Oh, I was yelling at a robot all day. Which is more horrific, being with Gold Digger or Rip Torn, I don't know. So they have, they have what, five children? They have a lot of children also. They have about five children.
Starting point is 00:15:35 He cannot support his family. Their house is enormous. This must be the house of someone who produced the movie or something like that. Because they have this huge house, it looks like a big Long Island house. And the whole time I'm like, like, no wonder they're in debt. Like this house is way bigger than they should have,
Starting point is 00:15:50 although they do have a lot of kids. And she's like, you have to stop working on your inventions and start working that antique store so you can pay for a family. Then that night, lightning hits the house. We hear Joe Pantoliano yell out, it's alive. And that morning he excitedly shows them Gold Digger. So there's something-
Starting point is 00:16:07 This all makes sense. This all tracks. It's very clear. So it's perhaps it wasn't a dream before, but then it was, it's, the movie right off the bat is confusing you with a slightly nonlinear narrative. But he shows them Gold Digger, who he says is a home security robot
Starting point is 00:16:19 who can also teach the kids. Gold Digger, of course, constantly breaking down, always singing nursery rhymes. He has this Jerry Lewis voice that is very annoying. And it made me wonder, guys, what's your experience with Jerry Lewis's work? Do you, what's your opinion of him? I don't write him off entirely
Starting point is 00:16:37 because particularly some, I've seen some early work. I think Artists and Models was one that I thought he was- This one I was gonna ask you about because I recently saw Artists and Models for one that I thought he was... This is what I was going to ask you about, because I recently saw Artists and Models for the first time and I found him insufferable. I thought... I was offended that Shirley MacLaine had to end up with Jerry Lewis at the end.
Starting point is 00:16:53 I was like, she deserves so much better. Come on, look at her. I thought some of that stuff. She's a pixie, she's so charismatic, come on. Yeah, I mean, it's not my favorite stuff in the movie, but I found him genuinely funny in parts of that. And then of course, I mean, you know, it's not my favorite stuff in the movie, but I found him genuinely funny in parts of that And then of course later on, you know in more dramatic roles came comedy that movie that we did for the podcast We all kind of liked I forget what it was called like the trust or something like that
Starting point is 00:17:17 Was something like that? He was in yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like he's good in that stuff He seems like he was an unpleasant man to be around I don't know but he's someone who maybe it's because seems like he was an unpleasant man to be around. I don't know, but. He's someone who, maybe it's because I've listened to a lot of the Gilbert Godfrey podcast, but they talk about him a lot about, it's just like this, someone they know was a bad,
Starting point is 00:17:34 was it not an easy guy to be around, a very bad guy in a lot of ways, but also that they loved him so much growing up. And I feel like I didn't see his stuff when I was a kid. And maybe by the time I saw it, it was too old. Cause I just, I find him for the most part, very insufferable, very hard to deal with, you know. I mean, certainly the more power he seemed to get
Starting point is 00:17:51 over himself, the, you know, like the fewer strictures on him, the less I enjoy any of the things I've seen from him. I do want to see, I want to see if I can see some of those episodes that two hour unscripted talk show that he did where they rebuilt an entire theater and all the doorknobs in the building had JL engraved on them. And I think the show lasted a week and then they and they were like, this is not working him just for two hours with no plans. Anyway, the point is, Jack is constantly shouting while Gold Digger is constantly talking and
Starting point is 00:18:23 it's just really overwhelms you with noise. Gold Digger just wants to play. Jack's wife is understandably annoyed, but his son Alex really likes the robot. This is the one child who really gets kind of a personality. Yeah. Yeah. You love having a robot in the family. Kids like Gold Diggers. Newsflash we see on TV though, there is war in the Middle East over the missing sacred helmet of Suleiman. So that's why there's a war there because nobody, because everyone's looking for the helmet, I guess, you know. And so he's, it's
Starting point is 00:18:54 troubled. So that helmet needs to be found. And we see, I guess these are the guys who, I'm not sure if they're the ones who stole the helmet, but they are two criminals who are essentially mooks. They're essentially like morons. They pulled off a relic heist and they're talking to John Rhys Davies over the phone. He plays the part of Eli, who is an evil antiques dealer. And is he their neighbor and their neighbor
Starting point is 00:19:18 on the same street? His antiques store is across the street from theirs or next door, no, it's next door. His antiques store is next door to theirs and he also lives either next door or across the street from them. Okay, that's weird. That's weird, right? It is weird.
Starting point is 00:19:31 Especially since he seems to be much more successful than them and yet lives in the same neighborhood right next door. I mean, I think he probably lives next to them so that he can bedevil them or maybe it's like he's keeping up with the Joneses situation where they're just like, that's why they can't afford their home is because they're trying to keep pace with their rival, right? Possibly, possibly. I mean, he seems so annoyed that he has to live near them, that I have to believe it wasn't his choice.
Starting point is 00:19:54 They didn't see them in the neighborhood move in and be like, heh heh heh, you know. Yeah. But he's an almost comically evil antiques dealer, you know, everything about him shows. There's a moment at the end where he's dangling them above a pit of molten gold and he's giving this villain speech and I'm like, this is why he took this role.
Starting point is 00:20:14 Like he seems so excited to give this speech. His whole deal, right, is that like he's an arms dealer and so he's like, I don't want to. It does come as a surprise much later in the movie when he says that if there's war in the Middle East, it helps his arms business. Because up to that point, I think there's been no evidence that he is anything other than an antiques dealer
Starting point is 00:20:33 who deals in stolen or counterfeit antiques. He's also a major dealer of armaments too, and internationally is something that kind of comes up as a surprise, yeah. Well, I guess, but the point is the helmet helps him both ways You know, although I'm not I'm not really sure like you said the helmet being returned I'm not sure how that would help cool the tensions because presumably there's a fight over
Starting point is 00:20:56 Who should have the helmet? Well, I think the fight starts because and again This is something that is underserved in the movie this Middle Eastern subplot I think it is that the fight starts because the helmet is gone and the countries are arguing over who has it now and who's stolen. I guess my assumption. Maybe they'd come to some sort of detente before
Starting point is 00:21:14 and now it's a fragile piece is broken. Okay. Exactly. So Jack- It all makes sense guys. Yeah. It's clockwork. Okay. It's clockwork much like Golddigger who is in the backseat of Jack's car as he drives into work
Starting point is 00:21:26 It's a solar powered car, but it starts exploding because of the rain I guess because all the exposed wiring Yeah And the robot has to push the car to Jack's antique shop And these this guy helped them push the car and he's like, okay now pay me and it's a gold digger Electrocutes him and then a cop tries to write the car card ticket and Gold Digger attacks him. Let's describe this cop. Well, I don't know whether it's... He looks like one of the Beastie Boys dressed up for a bit. Yes, he does. That's a really good description of him.
Starting point is 00:21:55 I don't know whether it's... There's something about him that says to me like this is the kind of cartoonish white guy that would show up in like a Latter-day Spike Lee movie, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm not sure whether it was at this point or at a similar point later on where he's also trying to write a ticket for the car, but he's like muttering to himself about like how many infractions there are and he's like, oh, like this is, you know, like I'm going to Hawaii or something.
Starting point is 00:22:18 He seems to believe that the more infractions, like more tickets you put out, the higher your pay is. In Eric Adams' New York, maybe that's the way it works. I don't know. But it's true, while he's writing it, he's like, I'm going to Hawaii, this is going to be great. Yeah, as if he's going to personally profit off of this. But of course, he's attacked by a robot,
Starting point is 00:22:37 which stops him from writing those tickets. And then sets his ticket book on fire. Yes, oh, that's right, He also sets the ticket book on fire. So at this point, Gold Digger, I mean, is a menace essentially in many ways. Yeah. A rich cowboy comes into the antique store to buy stuff, but he argues with Jack's foreign brother,
Starting point is 00:22:58 Isaac's brother or cousin, who does not speak English. I mean, if you say so, I'll believe you. All we know is there's a guy there who does not speak English, does mean, if you say so, I'll believe you. All we know is there's a guy there who does not speak English, does not seem to speak any known language, just speaks kind of a vaguely offensive, kind of fake-ly Middle-Easterney sounding, a-hah-hah-hah, that kind of stuff, cartoon language.
Starting point is 00:23:16 And I don't know why this is the guy you would have minding the store when you know a big customer is coming in. I'm not sure what, Jack seems to be just in the bathroom getting his tie and his hair ready through this entire sequence but The the cowboy runs out Jack runs out I think to follow him and falls in a manhole which is immediately covered by a plank of wood
Starting point is 00:23:36 Jack eventually follows and falls in the same manhole They're instantly filthy and the manhole doesn't lead to the sewer just seems to lead to like a They're instantly filthy and the manhole doesn't lead to the sewer. It just seems to lead to like a two foot drop full of grime. Like essentially. You can't say that a lot of stuff doesn't happen in this movie. No, you cannot say that. Full of stuff. And then they escape only for his brother to be run over by the Texan's automobile.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Yes, as the Texan is leaving having been... So John Rhys Davies has then stolen the customer and sells him a forged antique. It looks like a Remington statue or something. And yeah, as Isaac gets out of the manhole, he is then hit by the car. This is not followed up. He's not injured the next time we see him. And that cowboy never shows up again.
Starting point is 00:24:20 There's a lot of injuries in this film where the character who's been injured is not seen again and you're left to wonder like, so did they die or? Yeah, that's a good question. Are they okay? Like what's going on? For a family film, ostensibly a family film, I was often disturbed by the level of unresolved violence.
Starting point is 00:24:39 So at the end, were you hoping there to be some kind of like, where are they now moment which has each character like Animal House? Or just, or to have the camera just pan across a bunch of tombstones with the names of the And were you hoping there to be some kind of like, where are they now moment, which has each character like Animal House? Or just to have the camera just pan across a bunch of tombstones with the names of the characters on them. Tombstone the Marvel super villain, right? Tombstone the villain Peaks. A DVD of the film. Yeah. A wrestler performing the maneuver. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:09 So anyway, one of the thieves, these goofy thieves, they're so hilarious, right? He accidentally takes a stolen statue to Jack instead of to Eli, and Jack calls the police. But Jack seems crazy when the police get there, though the robot recognizes that Eli's antiques are not real gold and then malfunctions. And the cop understandably leaves at this point, not wanting to get in the middle of an argument between two antique dealers that involves an annoying robot
Starting point is 00:25:40 that is having mechanical problems. So Alex, the son, shows Jack. If it wasn't having mechanical problems. So Alex the son shows Jack. If it wasn't having mechanical problems, the police would listen very carefully to this annoying robot. Yes, I think so. Alex the son, he's like, hey, look at this. There's a $2 million reward for the statue that was stolen,
Starting point is 00:25:58 which is the statue that was brought in by that crook. And Jack's like, oh, well, I know there's a secret passage between the basement of this antique store and Eli's antique store. If we can only find it, they go, they find the passage for some reason Gold Digger is with them, so he's just babbling nonsense the entire time. I think he's also, I think Jack's possibly also using
Starting point is 00:26:17 a candle instead of a flashlight. I can't remember if that's actually how it happens. Jack sees the statue in Eli's basement and overhears Eli plotting with a henchman, but the henchman takes the statue before Jack can get it. And Jack sees the name Clayhand on a sculpture and his son finds that name in the phone book. There is a Dr. Clayhand who Jack will have to go undercover
Starting point is 00:26:39 to find out the identity of. So listeners at home, I'm sure you've been following along perfectly. There's gonna be a little quiz at the end. And I expect that you will all get A pluses on the plot of Robot and the Family, a movie ostensibly for children. Yes, ostensibly for children.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Well, we are about to go to the office of Dr. Clayhand, the doctor who seems to only work, just do plaster casts on people. He has a secretary who thinks he's a genius, genius artist Jack shows up everyone in the office is an elaborate Plaster casts one of them a woman has like a torso cast with very prominent boobs And stuff like that since the time where Jack walks in and he has his son with him He's like hey somebody watch my kid And I do find that moment funny when he goes hey with him and he's like, hey, somebody watch my kid. And he just walks away. That's when they go to the auction house.
Starting point is 00:27:25 And I do find that moment funny when he goes, hey, watch my kid. And then just leaves and Alex then walks out of the room almost instantly. But that's later. That's later. This doctor is also a sculptor. He has a love of helmets. He's obsessed with helmets. No, or a man who makes up. Don't worry about it. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:27:41 I got distracted by Elton John songs. Oh, OK. Oh, I see. by Elton John songs. Oh, okay. Oh, I see, yeah. As often happens. He is a sculptor, but then again, no, he's a man who makes potions in a traveling magic show. No, I have the same problem that my brother has with it, and I believe Elliot has expressed the same problem, where he's just like, hey man, you're writing the song, just rewrite
Starting point is 00:27:59 the lyric. If you've had a change of heart in the middle of- Pump the brakes, bud, you can go back. I used to feel that way about it, but I think now he's expressing an emotional kind of a Inability to to explain himself and that's why he's written this song I think I think it works in the end as opposed to Elton John's other music Where that doesn't totally that doesn't Benny and the Jets have electric boots like what is that all about?
Starting point is 00:28:20 I don't know that makes perfect and a mohair suit And electric boots, I don't get it. They're rock and roll boots. He's a cool rock and roll guy. He's got electric boots. I'm not over the fact that they faked that being a live song. When it was not. It was, you know, it's all in the studio made up to sound fake. Oh man, Elliot hates being tricked. I don't like it. I don't like being tricked.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Also, can I feel the love tonight? Can you explain what it feels like to feel love? Like you need just petting love and it's a texture? I don't understand. Elliot, it is where we are. That's how you feel it. It's where we are. I guess what we're saying is Elton John is one of the worst writers of songs.
Starting point is 00:29:00 I mean, he doesn't even write most of his songs. You're right, it's not the lyricist. This is a Bernie Taupin problem. Yeah, or Tim Rice, Iist. I know, you're right, he's not the lyricist. This is a Bernie Talpon problem. Yeah, or Tim Rice, I think. Or Tim Rice, yeah. Anyway. Is Tim Rice related to Anne Rice? Stop burning.
Starting point is 00:29:14 Good question. It's a great question. Let's get him on the horn. Yeah. You mean like a shofar? Yes. That's how we attract him. That's exactly what I mean.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Blow into a shofar and see if Tim Rice shows up. It's how we attract him. Yeah. We'll go into a shofar and see if Tim Rice shows up. It's going to happen. I feel like Gold Digger, the robot from this movie would show up based on how he's coded. Probably. I mean, Dan, that is, you laugh, but that is what happens on the new year, Rice Ashana, which is coming up soon, everybody. So get ready to celebrate it.
Starting point is 00:29:40 So the doctor also sculpts. He has a love of helmets. He's obsessed with that Persian helmet, the helmet of Suleiman that was stolen. And Eli, and Jack is there and he's like, oh yeah, I'm a friend of Eli's. And he pretends that his foot got hurt. And the doctor goes into this like long rhapsodic monologue about helmets.
Starting point is 00:29:58 He just can't stop talking about it. Eli calls him while Jack is there. And the doctor learns over the phone that Jack's an enemy. He knocks him out. And we're gonna see Jack is gonna wake up with an enormous plaster foot on his foot. But the robot, meanwhile, is trying to teach Isaac English. He breaks a lamp. Meanwhile, the son is off investigating the basement,
Starting point is 00:30:18 finds the secret passage, steals Eli's files, almost gets caught when Eli kills a rat. But the son, Alex, is doing so much more effective work than the hero of our movie, Joe Pantoliano, or the titular robot in the family. Yeah, I mean, well, the robot in the family, this robot causes nothing but chaos everywhere it goes until the very end of the movie
Starting point is 00:30:39 where it does one thing right. But the level to which no one does anything about how this robot is a mess is nuts to me. Like Eli tries to stuff what a hose in it so it squirts water out of its neck and he waters the flowers. He says water is a. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:30:59 I mean, I feel like one person is taking a stand. The villain of the movie. Everyone in the movie has one of two reactions to the robot, either panic or no reaction whatsoever. Just total acceptance of this annoying robot and at most annoyance. Or getting electrocuted by it. Yes, that too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:17 So the doctor, he puts this enormous plaster foot on Jack's foot. Jack wakes up to find his foot is being fondled by the secretary, the doctor's biggest fan, in a scene straight out of Un Chien and De Lu, to be honest. That also includes a scene where a woman sexually fondles the foot of a sculpture. And Jack tracks Eli and the doctor to a sauna at an Asian spa that we later see being raided by the police. So it's implied that it is a brothel. Again, it's implied that it is a brothel.
Starting point is 00:31:45 Again, it's a kids movie. And I'm sure that that robot in the family, having been great up until this point, will not do anything racially insensitive in this Asian spa. Oh, Dan, I hate to break it to you. I hate to smash those illusions like Gold Digger smashing a Tiffany lamp. But no, there are offensive Asian stereotypes.
Starting point is 00:32:05 This is always one of the things that makes me sad because these are real Asian American or Asian actors and they have to play these characters. In this file- That's why Elliot is making a plea. Please, for all your small roles, just get AI digital dudes. No, no, that's also not what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Elliot says this all the time. Not at all what I'm saying. I don't want digital dudes of any kind replacing human actors. You're saying cast white actors so Asian actors don't have to go through the pain of... Again, I guess what I'm really saying is let's not... Yeah, just get a shitload of Mickey Rooney's in there. I'm making a movie with offensive stereotypes. Get me a shitload of Mickey Rooney's. Just. I'm making a movie with offensive stereotypes. Get me a shitload of Mickey Roonies.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Just Mickey Roonies by the shovel full. Bulldoze them in. They're falling off the truck. We don't have enough food to feed all these Mickey Roonies, boss. Like, who cares? They'll eat each other. Just give them some amphetamines. They're a dime a dozen. That's the great thing is you get a shitload of Mickey Roonies,
Starting point is 00:33:04 they play your offensive parts, they die of starvation, you grind them up into dog food in a circle of life- You feed them into the next Mickey Roonies. You pour them into a trough, that's where the Mickey Roonies you're raising eat them. But isn't there a problem with Mickey Roonies eating other Mickey Roonies? Well, some of them might end up with Rooney Sponge-a-form, you know, encephalitis or whatever. But the good news is they can do the maze easier than we taught the old Mickey Roonies. Yes, the new Mickey Roonies have some of the memories
Starting point is 00:33:31 of the old Mickey Roonies, that's true. They already know their lines, that's the great part. John, our, Stewart, our friend John Holt and I, we both told Audrey about this flatworm experience, experiment that we're referencing now. The flatworm experience that Times Square, like interactive show they used to do. And quite reasonably Audrey was like,
Starting point is 00:33:52 no, you're fucking with me. What are you talking about? This is a real thing. Look it up, flatworms, mazes. Yeah, that means the underpinning of Alan Moore's whole run on Swamp Thing. You know, that idea. Oh man, what a book. What a book. Anyway, I'm sure they'll find out something bad about him at some point, but it hasn't
Starting point is 00:34:10 happened yet. I thought you were saying something bad about flatworms and I'm like, no! Yeah, yes, but I hate to tell you they canceled flatworms nematodes also. To circle back, to clarify, Elliot is taking a stand against the bad stereotypes. I'm taking a stand against racism bad stereotypes against racism and crazy solutions were No If you can get a shitload of Mickey Rooney isn't and I mean As laughs listen to this episode being like I'm getting some ideas here folks. Yeah, but you know, I'm making a plea against
Starting point is 00:34:43 offensive But no, I'm making a plea against offensive, excitable Asian stereotypes that just yell and run away and flee. Right, or Joey Pants then later on also doing like bad impressions of. So he's in the sauna, he tracks Eli and the doctor there, he overhears them planning about getting the stolen helmet for the doctor in exchange for the doctor sculpting more counterfeit antiques.
Starting point is 00:35:01 And in order to throw them off the scent, he puts a towel over his head and does some again, made up offensive Asian sounding languages and bowing, which causes some actual Asian people in there to say, hey, I bet that's the hit man that was, oh no, that's the detective who my wife hired to follow me, let's kill him. And they chase him out in a goofy chase
Starting point is 00:35:22 where they're all in towels, cause it was in a sauna. It's all bad, It's all bad. It's all bad all the time. So Jack shows up at the pier that he heard Eli and the doctor talking about where the helmet is going to be unloaded. Those doofy crooks who are for some reason in drag, that's their disguise, they're in drag.
Starting point is 00:35:40 They're looking for the crate the helmet is in. There are two identical crates. One has an X marked on it, one does not. A guard dog chases Jack off the pier into the water, which confuses the crook so much that they take the wrong crate. Guys, how did you feel about this scene? It made perfect sense, right?
Starting point is 00:35:58 There's a lot in sort of the middle area of the movie in particular that just sort of merged into a big pile of shenanigans. Yeah. Again, this is a challenging work. Yeah. It's true. It raises a lot of questions in you, the viewer, and also in the minds of God as to why these
Starting point is 00:36:16 things exist. Yeah. But it does feel at times as if someone was making a Three Stooges movie and was like, why can't all the characters be the stooges? Why do we need anyone who's not the stooge? And so it's just a world full of people running around, getting chased by dogs, making mistakes, putting on silly costumes for no reason.
Starting point is 00:36:34 Like is this when the Orthodox Jewish man and the Hare Krishna get in a fight in the street? No, that's a little later. That's a little later. Gold Digger, he's telling gibberish stories to the sleeping children, and then he attacks Jack thinking he's an intruder. The next morning, Jack tells Gold Digger to make breakfast. This, of course, ends up being a huge mess.
Starting point is 00:36:51 He puts a TV in the microwave. Very unsafe. Do not do that. Don't put any metal in the microwave, especially not a television, the most sacred of all electronics. He puts a copy of Catcher in the Rye in the toaster, which I think is supposed to be a pun on the word rye, but it's not explained, it just kind of happens. I think it's also like a little wink
Starting point is 00:37:10 at the idea of murderers. Oh, maybe. Yeah, Gold Digger's getting something in Catcher in the Rye has activated him. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I see that, yeah, I get it. So in this case, the book is the John Lennon to the toasters Mark David Chapman That's what you're saying exactly. Thank you. If we were doing an analogy on the SATs, that would be the answer
Starting point is 00:37:32 Yes, and the gold diggers just babbling the whole time It's just it's like the movie is daring you to turn to not turn it off I think that's why there's so many like just pointless shenanigans at this point, because they're like, surely by this time, everyone's given up so we can just do whatever. Yes, yeah. The crooks deliver the crate to Eli's house, but it's the wrong, even though he has an antique store, it's the wrong crate and Eli starts strangling them and Gold Digger interrupts the strangling and so Eli attacks it with a garden hose as Stuart said, water sprays out of it, Jack has to fix.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Gold Digger, instead of doing what he should have done, which is just let it rust, just let it rust and rot, become, go back to nature, you know, become a ruin. Jack and his son, Alex, they go to the auction house where they plan to buy the statue that the helmet is actually in. This is the moment where he goes, hey, someone watched my kid and then just walks off.
Starting point is 00:38:28 It's great. Eli shows up there. They have a meeting with the doctor in the bathroom. The doctor, his pants, of course, around his ankles. And he tells the doctor... He's like running around yelling a lot. Yeah, because he tells the doctor the thieves mixed up. He doesn't have the helmet.
Starting point is 00:38:43 Instead, it's going to go up for auction. Now they need to buy the statue doctor the thieves mixed up. He doesn't have the helmet instead It's gonna go up for auction now They need to buy the statue that the helmet is in and this is me putting this information together because it is not No one states it that clearly in the movie Was it listed clearly in the novelization by Alan Dean Foster? I mean that's I read that I read the Alan Dean Foster novelization. That's how I was able to piece it together He was working from an earlier version of the script that didn't have Gold Digger's VO slathered on it
Starting point is 00:39:08 like a thick layer of mayonnaise or peanut butter. It was called a digger of gold. Yeah, digger of the gold's eye. The Gold Digger leaves the car, he scares a Japanese toy robot salesman. Do you think that at one point they considered getting somebody like Mark Danielewski to do the novelization and have gold digger's lines written in all the margins and between the letters of the other words?
Starting point is 00:39:36 His words are written in a different colored ink, so you need to use a black light that comes with it to see the main text without Gold Digger's words laid over it. So experimental. One thing that I noticed here, you can see an NYU flag flying behind Gold Digger in this scene because they shot it. I didn't realize there were a sovereign nation. I was not aware that they had their own.
Starting point is 00:39:57 Dan, many universities and other organizations have flags that they fly outside of their building. Okay. Well, and also based on how much they've expanded in lower Manhattan, it almost feels like they're their own nation. Yeah, that's true. I mean, and they have international campuses, so it's like they're colonizing other countries.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Although I think they've shut some of them down. But for an old NYU alum like me, it was nice to see the purple just flying, flapping in the breeze, establishing itself in this movie. Elliot snapped a little salute at home watching. Yeah, he did. Yeah, I sang our college song, Hail, hail, NYU, gentrify the world. That's the translation from Latin, yeah. So the robot, these little robots follow Gildigger,
Starting point is 00:40:38 and it's implied that they're sentient, because they have subtitles that say like, our God is here, you know, our King. This is when for some reason we see a is here, you know, our King. Yes, it's great. This is when for some reason we see a blind man, a Jew and a Hare Krishna bump into each other and get mad at each other. And the Jew and the Hare Krishna, I don't think ever show up again. It's not like gold diggers even a part of this makes up. The blind guy is mugged by a slime ball and gold digger shocks him and then shocks the
Starting point is 00:41:04 blind man who is cured of his blindness just in time to get hit by a slime ball and Gold Digger shocks him and then shocks the blind man who is cured of his blindness just in time to get hit by a truck. So that's the second time a character in the movie has been freed of some encumbrance and then gotten hit by a car and is possibly killed. Really worried me, because I was like, surely we'll see some sort of indication of whether the band survived this or not.
Starting point is 00:41:21 But no, we can only assume that he was carried of his blindness only to die instantly by truck. And now that blind man is played by the same person as who played Isaac, the character was hit by a truck. That person, Jack Shewell, co-writer, and co-writer and co-director of the film. Which makes sense, but his performance really shows an understanding of the material.
Starting point is 00:41:44 Much like Martin Scorsese as the scary cab driver, cab passenger and taxi driver, this was a role that had to be played by someone who had a deep inner understanding of the work. Yeah. So I don't know who played the, who plays the traffic cop, but I kind of wondered if that was another person who was involved in the in the in the movie. I mean I assume that other than you know the Joey Pants, the wife, John Rhys Davies, everyone is friends and family of the writers and director. I would think probably. Yeah probably. Although like
Starting point is 00:42:21 the son Alex he's played by a professional actor. That's Danny Gerard. He was in the original Broadway production of Lost in Yonkers, among other things. Did you see that one? No, I didn't. I didn't see that. Unfortunately, no, it was 1991. I wish I would have loved to have seen it, but I think it was a little too young for
Starting point is 00:42:37 my grandmother to take me to see that at the time. So anyway, at the auction, Jack and Eli are in a bidding war with the statue. Jack has, either Jack or Alex, I lost track of it, is using some kind of electric device to make other people in the room jump up in the air, which causes the auctioneer to think they're bidding on the statue. And in the end, he ends up winning this reproduction statue that's not worth a lot for $125,000. And Jack has his eternal catchphrase, my wife is gonna kill me for doing this.
Starting point is 00:43:12 And while this is happening, Gold Digger again fights the parking cop and terrorizes him until he leaves. So Jack wins the statue, he puts it in his car, Gold Digger's in his car, Eli steals the car, throws the robot into the street. At this point, Jack calls the statue, he puts it in his car, gold diggers in his car, Eli steals the car, throws the robot into the street. At this point, Jack calls the police, this is the kind of crime you can report to the police
Starting point is 00:43:31 when someone steals your car. Like that is very much, that's theft. That's grand theft auto. It's just, that's a crime, but the police still act as if he's being crazy. You know, he's out of his mind by reporting this. Eli of course accidentally activates the car's massage robot hands,
Starting point is 00:43:48 which strangle him in a malfunction. And this scene kind of doesn't, there's no real clear closure to this scene. So we just have to assume Eli got away, ditched the car somewhere, I guess. It's like there's no sort of closure to the scars from watching this film. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Exactly. They just linger. Exactly. You know, if you're going to make massage hands in your car, I'd rather just put kind of like things from watching this film. Yeah. Exactly. They just linger. Exactly. You know, if you're going to make massage hands in your car, I'd rather just put kind of like things that move around in the back of the seat maybe as opposed to hands that grab the neck of the driver. That seems like an unsafe way to give someone a massage while they're driving, you know.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Good note. Yeah. No, that's a good note. Yeah. I mean, maybe if you hit... Call up the Tesla people with that. You have to assume, I guess, if he had hit a different button, maybe the hands would have given him a hand job while he's driving.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Maybe that's the kind of feature. That's the kind of fantasies that I come up with while watching Robot and the Family. Just one that while you're driving, cold metal hands will just wrap themselves around your penis. Yeah, uncaring, very clinical. An old issue of heavy metal. You can read that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:45 Suryama's like, hmm, I figured something cooler. Well, that Japanese artist who does those sexy robots... That's who I just said, yeah. Oh, that's who you just said, yeah, thank you. I couldn't remember his name. At home, two sanitation workers show up and they're going to dick up their septic tank because I guess they haven't paid off the payments on the septic tank. I don't know if it's the thing they do, re-insessing septic tanks.
Starting point is 00:45:04 So they're like repo men. They're repo men for the sanitation company. I have to assume once you use a septic tank, the resale value is nil. Yeah. I don't think that's. Just write that thing off. I mean, that's probably why these guys
Starting point is 00:45:15 are so easily distracted by bowls of popcorn and what, TV? Instead she feeds them a huge meal and eventually we'll see they're playing games with the kids. They watch cartoons, eating popcorn. Eventually they fall asleep and just spend the night on the couch at the place. So there's an ongoing C story, I guess, of her having to entertain these sanitation workers in order to keep them from digging up their septic tank, lowering the home value of everyone in the neighborhood, including Eli. That's only going to make it matter if there's just an open pit full of human waste in the house next door, you know.
Starting point is 00:45:49 I mean, I'm not a homeowner, so I don't know. As a homeowner, it would lower my home's value considerably if my next door neighbor had an open pit of human waste. Yeah. Yeah. Most of the time. Most of the time. Occasionally you find a buyer who wants that. Occasionally.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Yeah. It's hard to find two to get them into a bidding war for the house that has an open switch bit next to it. Yeah. Yeah, it's a unicorn situation. Yeah. So Goldinger has some adventures. He fixes a girl's mechanical dog toy.
Starting point is 00:46:18 He plays three card Monte. Oh yeah. He keeps winning and then electrocutes the Monte guys. Yeah, of course. I mean, at this point, like that, some of this stuff I'm like, is this before or after Short Circuit 2? Where are we at here? Dan, do you want to do some quick internet research on that?
Starting point is 00:46:34 I'm going to assume it's after. Because it feels like cribbed Johnny Five stuff that Johnny Five is doing. And this is also the same year as Forrest Gump, so it almost feels like cribbed Forrest Gump stuff. Forrest Gump would fucking roll all these three-card mounting dealers. Short Circuit 2 was 1988. Yeah, so this is six years after that. Okay, and yeah, you can tell.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Like the quality of special effects is so much better here. Yeah, you really feel the six years of development for sure. And the racial relations are, if anything, worse than in short circuit too. So Goldeager hands out flyers at that sleazy spa, gets arrested. Nobody is impressed to see a real robot except for this one police officer who's shooting his mugshot. Jack talks to Alex, his son, he says, when I came to America, I did this to achieve my dreams. I've been letting my family down. I should really focus on my antique shop instead of building crap robots that are annoying. And Alex goes, no, you're the best dad I could
Starting point is 00:47:37 ever have. We got to solve this mystery. And then we'll everything will be okay. And they find the address of the foundry where Eli is gonna be that night. And I think this is, oh no, it's later that they find about the reward for the helmet. Meanwhile, Gold Digger walks through a car wash, I was gonna say card wash, like he's washing his three card Monte cards.
Starting point is 00:47:57 No, it's a car wash. He starts short-circuiting. And the news announces that a robot from space has been wandering around scaring people. Sorry, what did you say, Stu? I was going to say, if you wash your cards, even if you double sleeve them, you can't put those through the wash. No, as someone who is constantly finding... It's so sad.
Starting point is 00:48:15 My son, his favorite Pokemon cards, he likes to put them in his pocket and carry them around. Then forget they're in his pocket. Those cards go through the wash. They're almost always destroyed. So, yeah, don't put your cards through the wash. Don't put your robots through the wash either. They'll be like, they'll short circuit, much like the movie Short Circuit.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Is that what happens is they put them through the wash? That's right. They put them through the wash and then they become sentient. So yeah, sometimes there's an advantage depending on what you want out of a robot. Since cleanliness is next to godliness, that it's that being newly clean is God touches him and gives him the sentience that until now was man's own purview as having been created in the image of God.
Starting point is 00:48:55 Dolphins, I don't know how they fit into the story, but they're pretty smart too. More amoral though, from what I've heard. Very much so, very much so. I like to imagine. Dolphins? Yeah, dolphins what I've heard. Very much so. Very much so. Dolphins? Yeah. Yeah, dolphins. I went kayaking once with dolphins. They seem pretty cool, though.
Starting point is 00:49:10 They are not. Learn about dolphin sexual habitats. It's rough. It's very rough. Okay, I guess I'll just... Or sexual habits, not habitats. A sexual habitat would be, I guess, like if a dolphin's at Plato's retreat. Dolphin Studio 54. Yeah. Yeah, if it's... Orpuses retreat. Heating is free just for 54. Yeah. Yeah, if it's Heedism 3, just for dolphins.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Yeah. Oh, why is Sean Puffy Combs in the Wikipedia article for this? Getting into too much real life distress. Let's go from real life, R-E-A-L, to real life, R-E-E-L. The life of the characters in Robot and the Family.
Starting point is 00:49:44 Jack, Alex, the bad guys the characters in Robot and the Family. Jack, Alex, the bad guys, they all arrive at the foundry. The crooks are disguised as Orthodox Jews for some reason that someone thought was funny. And they sell the stuff to the doctor. Jack gets wrapped up in chains somehow and ends up swinging, screaming from the ceiling. As much dignity as Joe Pinch has ever had in any role, I guess.
Starting point is 00:50:04 It is pretty wild, yeah. Alex and Isaac are sitting in the truck. Isaac seems to be reading Howard Chaykin comics. I don't know if it's American flag or not, but over the shoulder it really looks like Howard Chaykin's style. An interesting choice for someone who has trouble with English. But, you know, maybe he reads it but he doesn't speak it. Alex leaves and goes in.
Starting point is 00:50:24 Eventually he's going to end up dangling with his dad over a vat of molten gold that Eli is threatening to drop them into. And Eli reveals, this is when he reveals the helmet of Suleiman was stolen so he could sell weapons to both sides of the war. And he laughs about killing them both as the doctor is breaking open the statue
Starting point is 00:50:42 to find the helmet, but he's not finding it. Gold Digger shows up and babbles and babbles and does nothing as Eli is literally tormenting Jack and his son with a flaming stick. He's just poking at them with a stick with flame on it. I think this is when he has that big soliloquy about his life, his view of life and his goals. Yeah, this is like Richard the Third moment.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Yes, exactly. The doctor accidentally burns his hands on something I don't remember on what, and he screams, which triggers Gold Digger's instinct to call 911. Alex yells out the address, which the person on the other line is able to hear somehow. Eli panics, he knows the cops are coming.
Starting point is 00:51:20 He ends up melting the statue with the helmet in it to ensure that peace never breaks out in the Middle East Gold digger it now gold digger is being lowered into the molten gold But yeah, he's yelling about how he detects gold which is like, yeah. Thanks gold digger. We know shit lower than the fucking gold Thanks for helping us out here gold detector is only operating in situations where everyone knows it's gold Gold detector is only operating in situations where everyone knows it's gold. Then maybe it's not a great... Then you may be a bad gold detector. If you only detect gold when you're being lowered into a molten vat of it, you might
Starting point is 00:51:51 be gold digger. Yeah, I mean, I could see the gold too. Does that make me a gold detector? I guess so. Well, you're a gold detector. You're a gold detector as well, yeah. If you're busy babbling nursery rhymes when your inventor and his son are about to be killed by Oh, yeah, you might be gold digger
Starting point is 00:52:10 Some very nice humor Jeff Fox really didn't go down that road for long and then someone's like why don't you talk about something More universal like being a redneck instead of being the robot from this one movie. All right, I'll try it He's like blue collar comedy tour. Why not gold collar comedy tour? I have too much artistic integrity. I only care about jokes about Gold Digger, the star of Robot and the Family. Yeah. And so the police show up, they shave everybody.
Starting point is 00:52:36 I was gonna say they shave everybody, which in this movie, why not? Oh, and Gold Digger, he's being lowered into molten gold, but he recharges in time to shock Eli, saving them. Jack assumes Eli destroyed the evidence. Gold Digger picks up the head of the statue that the helmet had been stolen, and he keeps going, Gold, daddy, I found gold.
Starting point is 00:52:55 And Jack's like, yeah, yeah, Gold, yeah, you're an idiot. Yeah. And- Now, I gotta say- Wait, wait, I'll say when this scene ends, we see Eli and the Doctor still alive, but covered in plaster and frozen in place, and Eli is muttering something
Starting point is 00:53:09 about killing the Doctor or killing somebody. And so you have to assume they're dead after this, right? The only way to break them out is to hit them with a sledgehammer. You know what I'm saying? But Dan, you were saying. Yeah, they'll just shatter. Well, just, I mean, look,
Starting point is 00:53:20 I know that Gold Digger is the robot who cried gold at this point in the story. Like, I understand why you're a little dubious about it, but the way that they keep dismissing him when he's like, gold, I found gold, when they know that there might be gold hidden in a statue, like it's baffling to me. They're like, no, that's just plaster.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Like, break the fucking plaster, dude. Check it out. You make a very good point because up till now, the characters have been calm, cool, rational, logical, always looking at the clues and always putting them together. Like up till now, they've been great mouse detectives. And here's where things seem to fall apart. So you're right.
Starting point is 00:53:59 You're right to point out the logic of it. This is a big plot hole right here, yeah. Put it in the goofs. Yeah, put it in the goofs. No, but you're right. But they'll be, don't worry, they get home, the family is together, the sewer guys are still there, a creepy old man shows up at the house,
Starting point is 00:54:15 he is the guy from the bank, and this guy, this is a last minute movie almost saves itself for me, because I love how openly evil this guy is. Yeah, they're like a guy from a Needful Things shop just showed up. It feels as if someone is putting on a community production of Phantasm. And this is the guy who's playing Angus Grimm.
Starting point is 00:54:35 And they're like, good enough, great. He says he's there to repossess everything in exactly two minutes. He's given them two minutes to find the money to pay off the loan. And Gold Digger's like, Gold daddy, I found gold. This really nerves the banker. This is a proper response.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Meanwhile, his henchman, who's just a guy in a suit with sunglasses, I guess it's his driver, is starting the repossession process with the kids' toys and chaining them up. Yep. And it's... It's pretty funny. And so Gold Digger drops the head, revealing the helmet of Suleiman inside.
Starting point is 00:55:11 Alex goes, I heard on TV there's a $50 million reward for it. Everyone cheers. The banger drives away, leaving all the toys that they're repossessing. You gotta assume he shook his fist to the heavens that he didn't get to do this favorite thing, which is to take a house from a family
Starting point is 00:55:25 It's not like they have the 50 million dollars right then I would argue that if this evil banker probably would just keep going forward With the other possession. All right, call me when you have the money call me when you bring it to whatever country is that war Right now and you get the word and over the credits We hear audio of Goldier calling on one one to report They found the helmet and the person on that and I wanted thinks it's a prank call, it's very unfunny. And much like the rest of the movie, it leaves us with a icky stomach and a bad taste in our mouths and a confused head. Because it's like, wait, so are they going to get the reward bunny or not?
Starting point is 00:55:58 And also, why was Gold Digger tasked with making this call? I know that he has a direct line to 911, but like, why not have the wife who speaks English the best of anyone in the movie and is not a person. An excitable babbling idiot. Not a babbling robot or a guy who gets frequently falls into manhole covers, you know, manholes. Like you can correct me here guys, but when we're talking about like a sovereign nation or multiple sovereign nations are offering a reward for this missing artifact, do you just call your local 911 to redeem that or?
Starting point is 00:56:33 Very good question. You'd probably call like the consulate of one of those countries or something. But but again, it's a it's it's robot in the family. And so robot in the family leaves us as it found us baffled, It's Robot in the Family, and so Robot in the Family leaves us as it found us, baffled, questioning, unsure of the world, and ready for more adventures of Gold Digger. But I'm sorry, guys, there were no sequels. There's no Robot in the Family 2 out of the Family.
Starting point is 00:56:55 Yet. I mean, now that they're Beetlejuice Beetlejuicing... That's right. You're right. They juiced that beetle a second time. A hit big-budget film they could easily take with Robot in the Family. I mean, it's right there do with Robot in the Family. I mean, it's right there, Robots in the Family, huh?
Starting point is 00:57:08 Yeah. Oh, I thought it was going to be Robot in the Families. The husband and wife have gotten divorced and they have to share custody of Goldinger. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, let's do our final. Now I'm mentioning, James Cameron goes into the meeting and he writes Robot in the Family
Starting point is 00:57:22 and then changes it to Robots in the Family and the executives are Like that's not the movie we asked you to do a sequel to Like we heard it do a sequel to alien. Oh, well then that that same thing, but what I just did for robots I do it for aliens. Yeah This is a final judgment segment where we decide is this a good bad movie a bad bad movie or a movie We kind of like here's here's my feelings on Robot and the Family. Watching it alone, this was the longest 84 or 85 minutes
Starting point is 00:57:53 I've ever spent. And you had major surgery, right? Sure, and it just, it is a cacophony of nonsense. It is irritating. And it just, it is a cacophony of nonsense. It is irritating. It is constant, oppressive. But, so I say bad, bad in those situations. If you enjoy, if you get sort of a cruel joy out of making other people watch a bad movie,
Starting point is 00:58:22 this might be a fun one to inflict on a bad movie party. Yes. Because if you can stand it, if you can sample a little bit and you don't immediately have a seizure, this might be something funny to show other people. Yeah, it's like the movie equivalent of an episode of The Hot Ones, where you're like, oh, you like bad movies, huh?
Starting point is 00:58:40 Yeah, so that's my take. What do you think, Stuart? Yeah, I think you're right. I mean, I think this is a... I would say this is a solid, what, good bad movie? That's what we do. Good bad. That's what we do. Like a movie that you should show.
Starting point is 00:58:56 For 17 years now. It's wild. Like it is a wild experience. It is constant. There's no like, there's no moment where you're like, oh, this is like a normal movie. Like, oh, this is a wild experience. It is constant. There's no moment where you're like, oh, this is like a normal movie. Like, oh, this is a touchstone. This is, I know what, this movie, there's no grounding moments in the whole movie.
Starting point is 00:59:15 It is just constant, implacable, unflinching, madness. You never have your footing watching this movie. You are always in deep water trying desperately not to get your head below the waves. But I agree. I think if you are watching a group of people who enjoy the unique pain that comes with watching a bad movie, then this is the one to watch. I mean, if only because you can watch it and then look up the cast afterwards. These are, I mean, aside, the cast is either, it's either the people who wrote the movie
Starting point is 00:59:50 or it is real actors. Like I forgot to mention that. So Dr. Clayhands, that's Peter Maloney. He was in The Thing, he's in a number of great movies. He's in Desperately Seeking Susan, he's in Hi Mom, like, and Greetings. Like, there's so many people in this that are either actors with really good filmographies
Starting point is 01:00:08 or part, or actors who are part of the, like, New York independent film scene. And so it's a, it's, you just have to think about like, how did this movie, how did this happen? Like, how did this thing happen? And, and what was it meant to be? And so it's a, yeah, I think it's a worthwhile if you're with a group of people and you wanna be like,
Starting point is 01:00:27 oh, oh, like good, bad movie, you know? You just have to be ready for just nonstop offensive ethnic stereotypes throughout. Yes, that is the one big caveat about this. Guys, can you promise me I never have to watch Robot and the Family again? I mean- I can't make that promise. I can't make that promise that...
Starting point is 01:00:48 I can promise you that I won't make you watch Robot in the Family again. Okay, thank you. I appreciate that. I don't know what life will bring. I'm not going to make that promise. I might need to torture you at some point in the future and that's, you know... Now I know your weakness. You get the location of the bomb.
Starting point is 01:01:03 That's fair. That's fair. I want to mention, so wait, just about this actor, Peter Maloney, he plays doctors in so many different movies. And so he's like, he's a doctor in Man Hunter. He's a doctor in Requiem for a Dream. And just the, I love, now I want to imagine they're all the same doctor as the one in Robot in the Family.
Starting point is 01:01:27 Yeah. Jackie Cation. Hi, and welcome to the MaximumFun.org podcast. The Jackie and Lori Show where we talk about stand-up comedy and how much we love it and how much it enrages us. We have a lot of experience and a lot of stories and a lot of time on our hands. So check us out. It's one hour a week and we
Starting point is 01:01:46 drop it every Wednesday on NexmaFun.org. The following is a promo for Beef and Dairy Network podcast. Hello. Hello. Please. You have to help me. I was kidnapped and bundled into the back of a van. I was taken to the docks and beaten with chains and tied up inside a shipping container. And then I was forced to listen to episode after episode of a podcast called Beef and Dairy Network. And I absolutely loved every second of it. Please, you have to tell me where I can listen to more episodes.
Starting point is 01:02:19 The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi award winning comedy podcast and you can find it at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. We are sponsored in part, the Flop Us that is, by Squarespace. It is a service that provides the means for you to make your home on the internet. It is the all-in-one website platform that allows entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you are beginning in that journey or you're managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website
Starting point is 01:02:55 that allows you to engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place on your terms. You can start a completely personalized website with the guided design system they have there, Squarespace Blueprint, which allows you to choose from professionally curated layout and styling options to build a unique online presence from the ground up,
Starting point is 01:03:18 one that's tailored to your brand, your likes, your business, optimized for every device. You can make checkout seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools. You can accept credit cards, PayPal, Apple Pay, and in eligible countries, you can offer customers, rather, the option to buy now and pay later with Afterpay and Clearpay.
Starting point is 01:03:42 Sell your products and services with an online store, whether it's physical goods, digital content, services, Squarespace has the tools that you need to start selling online. So go to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Hey there, this is a message from another one of our sponsors, Factor. Factor makes ready to eat, no mess meals, a limited prep ready in just under two minutes. Wow. I don't know about y'all, but it can sometimes be tough to plan and keep up making food all the time. It never ends. You need it every day. That's the problem with food.
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Starting point is 01:05:02 All that information is available. So why don't you head over to They can help you with that stuff too. All that information is available. So why don't you head over to factormeals.com slash flop 50 and use code FLOP50, that's F-L-O-P-5-0, to get 50% off your first box, plus 20% off your next month. That's code FLOP50 at factormeals.com slash flop50 to get 50% off your first box,
Starting point is 01:05:31 plus 20% off your next month while your subscription is active. And I believe we have a J-J-J-Jumbo-Tron. We do have a J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-Jumbo-Tron. J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J- You like the feeling that you're adulting wrong and nothing you ever do is good enough. Sure, we all do. The Ferberizing of Coral is a new comedy thriller short film about new parents sleep training their infant who find their worst fears and anxieties crying out to them through the baby monitor. Need more?
Starting point is 01:06:15 How about the voice talents of one Clint McElroy and comedian Nijeen Farzad? Join our Seed and Spark campaign now and help this film get made. So go to linktr.ee slash feverizing movie for all our social media and fundraising info. And to be clear, the title of it is the Ferberizing of Coral, but it appears the link has a typo in it.
Starting point is 01:06:36 Sorry, Patrick, to point this out to you, but it says linktr.ee slash F-E-B-E-R-I-Z-I-N-G-M-O-V-I-E. E E slash F E B E R I Z I N G M O V I E. Sounds good. And I believe we're still doing flop TV if I'm not mistaken and will be for some time. Yes, that's right, Dan. You're not mistaken for once in your misbegotten life. We are doing flop TV.
Starting point is 01:06:59 In fact, we've just started season two. Let's promote some of our own stuff. Flop TV season two has started and it continues. A week after this episode is released, we will be releasing Episode 2, live on October 5th, Saturday, at 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific. And we're going to be talking about
Starting point is 01:07:16 Break-In 2 Electric Boogaloo. That's right. It's all sequels this season. And we're going to the sequel, whose subtitle is known the world round, even to people who haven't seen it and don't know that break-in was a movie, but they know there's a break into Electric Boogaloo. It's gonna be super fun. I'm, the first episode that we did about Robocop 2
Starting point is 01:07:37 was just really fun. If you go to theflophouse.simpletix.com, that's T-I-X for ticks, you will find links to buy tickets and season passes. And if you buy a season pass, even if you miss that RoboCup2 show, you got access to the recording. The recordings of all these shows are gonna be up
Starting point is 01:07:55 through the end of February, the last month of the season. And so it's really worth getting that season pass, even if you missed the episodes. But don't miss the next one We're gonna be live on your computer screen october 5th 9 pm eastern 6 pm pacific flop tv season 2 talking break-in 2 Electric boogaloo who's doing the summary for this one? I'm doing the summary for this one and i've seen this movie a couple times and I gotta admit I've never seen the original breaking despite spoiler alert enjoying break in two
Starting point is 01:08:26 I've never gone back to see breaking because I think it is that I think it is that famous subtitle you're like well There's an electric boogaloo in this one Why would I have regular break in if I could have an electric boogaloo that sounds exciting? I've seen the movie twice I'm not really sure what that means, but I love it I'm electric boogaloo. The funny thing is well the guy boogaloo Who's in I think he's in the first movie too. All right. Well, yeah I think it's my Responsibility to catch everybody up before we do the episode. Okay, he's electric You haven't seen it it's electric
Starting point is 01:09:04 So those who flop so go to theflophouse.simpleticks.com. Should we move on to letters from listeners? So, guys, do you prefer the electric slide to the cha-cha slide or to Cotton Eye Joe? What's your favorite of the... Cotton Eye Joe is a hard last. Hard worst. Yeah, same here. I just don't want to hear the song. No.
Starting point is 01:09:25 Chicken dance? What about chicken dance? You know, I'm just trying to figure, I'm planning a wedding reception. I want you guys to get out and dance. I'm just trying to figure out what's going to get you, get your bodies moving. Just as your side business.
Starting point is 01:09:39 It's my side business. But I don't like the chicken part of it. I like the, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. I like that part. I don't like the part where you're actually I like the da da da da da da da. I like that part. I don't like the part where you're actually going da da da da da da da, and you gotta do all the moves. Yeah, because my wedding reception playlist
Starting point is 01:09:52 is just promiscuous by Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland and that's it, and I need more songs. I was saying. Well, what about Maneater by Nelly Furtado produced by Timbaland? Okay, yeah, man, okay, yeah. I mean, it'll be easy to find it in my catalog. I was telling Audrey recently, the first time I saw the Cha-Cha slide was during my brief period in Savannah, Georgia,
Starting point is 01:10:18 working in the gift shop for a riverboat tour company. And they're like, oh, you should take the riverboat tour as part of your sort of onboarding so you know what that is. And I went on it and there are people doing this thing, and I was like, did I miss something? They all know this dance. And Audra was making fun of me because she's like, the lyrics tell you
Starting point is 01:10:38 what's in the dance. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. But like, they don't really. There are moves in there that like, I'm like, I don't know what like, Cha Cha Real Smooth or whatever. Cha Cha Real Smooth, now Charlie Brown, yeah. Yeah, like I'm not like, like that doesn't mean anything to me
Starting point is 01:10:51 that I can translate it to movement, but everyone seemed to know it, and I was like, ah man, I missed a day at school or something, I don't know what's going on. Anyway, so that was, that was Tales from my Past, and now let's move on to another pop-d worry. Don't worry everybody since then Dan knows the cha-cha slide super good invite into your wedding reception He's like Napoleon Dynamite. He's just practicing in front of his mirror every day. Yeah Let's uh
Starting point is 01:11:17 Let's answer some letters from listeners. Is that what you're gonna do? I know you're speaking at a Harris Walls Fundraiser is that what you're gonna do? You're going to get up and dance just like Napoleon Dynamite does for Pedro? Uh, yeah, you got dance in my blood. I got to do it. No, no, no. You have dance in your blood. There's lots of little dance that are floating through your body. That's how it works.
Starting point is 01:11:38 That's how it works. This letter is from Scott last name withheld. Who writes? Not much to comment other than I'm a long-term fan. You might say this is more of a question than a comment. I'm a huge fan of Jordan Peele's Nope, but there's some ADR in it that personally annoys me. It doesn't ruin the movie or anything, but I'm irritated by how unnecessary I find it. Is it the moment when someone just off-camera goes, nope? Well, Scott does not oddly specify what the ADR is. Well, what he's trying to do, this is clever, guys.
Starting point is 01:12:12 This is some street-level marketing where he's trying to get people to go and watch Nope again so that they will find that part. It's clever. You almost tricked me. But I would watch that movie anyway because it's great. Yeah, the last thing withheld is peel actually He he's irritated by it though and there's a moment in good fellas now here He clarifies the bye-bye asshole cop at the very end, which is probably an even pettier nick nitpick Anyway, is there any adr you can recall that you turn your nose up at even if it's not all that egregious Scott Lasting withheld?
Starting point is 01:12:48 I'm gonna I'm gonna do the opposite I'm gonna say one of my favorite bits of ADR and that is from I think it's from the first Fast and Furious When we have our first street race and some guy is upset that these cars are racing through the streets and he goes goddamn Street racers. I love it, because it's such a summary of what this movie is. Yeah, I mean, I apologize that I don't have a specific answer that has lodged my brain,
Starting point is 01:13:17 but I do think it's, I do think ADR is often very funny, and I think it's funny that, to me, it falls into three categories. Like, number one, it is like the sort of stuff that I think it was Pat and Oswalt will talk about like being hired to do on an animated movie where they're like, we just need more jokes. If some characters backs turned like,
Starting point is 01:13:37 think of a joke to throw in there. So like there's terrible, not that funny extra jokes that have been added to beef something up. There is the ADR that is there to explain something that is already clear, but someone along the line was like, we need to clarify this. So it's like, oh, here we are here, you know, like sort of ADR.
Starting point is 01:13:56 That's the guy. Yeah, and then there's kind of my favorite ADR, which is someone along the line was like, I don't know, the scene seems to be missing something, so they just need more noise. Like someone was like, hey, what's that guy doing? You know, kind of ADR. But is there anything more specific
Starting point is 01:14:13 that lodges in your brain? Well, I think, so there, you left out one kind of ADR, which I do wanna talk about, but it is, Dan did an amazing job of theming this letter to the movie today, because the movie today is, it opens with such a huge amount of terrible ADR dialogue. That's just, again, it's like they put a coat of paint
Starting point is 01:14:31 over something in the hopes that it would seem real, but it just feels like- And maybe we should say- People just tossed onto it. Additional dialogue recording, that's what it stands for. ADR is when they add more dialogue later. But the other kind you haven't talked about really is when they have to take something out,
Starting point is 01:14:47 usually a swear and they record a new version. And so like when I was a kid, we used to watch Ferris Wheelers Day off a lot, but we had the taped off of network television version of it that my parents had taped off TV. And so there were all these, so we would, so me and my sister and my brother, we would repeat lines to each other from it.
Starting point is 01:15:04 But they go, Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a piece of coal in his fist, in one week you would have a diamond. And of course in the original it's up his ass. Or the, when he's, when Alan Ruck is pretending to be the police sergeant on the phone or whatever, and the dad goes, pardon my French, but you sir are a moron.
Starting point is 01:15:23 And we just always thought those were very funny. So that's one that I'll take with me for the rest of my life is those ones, yeah. It's like the Coming to America where everybody's yelling at him when he's on the balcony and they're like, hey buddy, forget you. And he's like, forget you too. It's great.
Starting point is 01:15:40 This is from Tim Lasting Withheld. Tim, the tool manman Taylor, a fictional character played by Tim Allen. Dear Flappers, I need to hypercharge my washing machine. All the 90s kids will get that. Yeah, yeah. Tim actually writes, Dear Flappers. Something only 90s kids remember, shows from the 90s.
Starting point is 01:15:59 Yes, I'm finally writing in, you know, me, the handsome Brooklyn playboy that no doubt caught your collective eye while Griffin Newman was explaining about Garbage Pail Kids. I've been doing the unthinkable and listening to your oldest episodes and some of the humor is really offensive to me. Specifically, the mockery of the wonderful website Aquafan.com. Okay. I'm writing to inform you.
Starting point is 01:16:21 This really is a blast from the past. Yeah. Aquafan, that's, no, Obi-Wan, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time. I'm writing to inform you. This really is a blast from the past. That's Oby-One. That's a name I haven't heard in a long time. At the start of this letter, I started getting nervous. I'm like packing up everything. I'm like, oh, I'm canceled finally. Time to get out of here.
Starting point is 01:16:36 Somebody found all the bad stuff I said. Why did you leave so much stuff in my house? I know, because I got to fit it all in my bindle so I can ride the rails for the rest of my days. Luckily you've got one of those Mary Poppins carpet bags where it just isn't infinitely big in size. You can put all this stuff in, yeah. Well, Tim continues, I'm writing to inform you
Starting point is 01:16:56 that there's been a development on the Aquafan.com front. Oh, cool, okay. The site, once infamous for advertising itself as the premier site for underwater sex aficionados and fishing for underwater sex experiences in its one and only post, has been shut down another star that's shown too bright, too hot, too fast. The website now reads, Aquafan used to be one of the oldest and most original underwater porn sites.
Starting point is 01:17:23 We featured tons of scenes of the hottest underwater sex videos and erotic girls swimming in the water. Unfortunately, that site no longer exists as there was a lack of interest from underwater porn lovers in that product. So... It's a fucking shame.
Starting point is 01:17:40 So in the meantime, we suggest... Blame the customer, that's the issue here. So in the meantime, we suggest checking out some of these great sites We've been working on that we think you will definitely enjoy It then links to a variety of grown-up websites that Dan will likely recognize best wishes Tim last name with Yeah, Tim bought aqu Aqua Fan from the previous owners. Yeah. And it links to what?
Starting point is 01:18:07 Wifespots.blogspot.com. That's a Dan approved site. Mm-hmm. One of the many. Yeah, it's funny that this victim blaming, not victim, this customer blaming Aqua Fan post claims that Aquafan used to be filled with all this Aquaporn because as we recall, it just had the one post asking whether anyone had ever tried underwater sex. Yeah. I mean, maybe that was years and years ago. Maybe it evolved into something else. I don't know. It could have been easily converted into an aquafina fan site at some point easily
Starting point is 01:18:46 But they didn't do that But you know I like that now this What I like is net that site has now become like when I watch an old Looney Tunes cartoon And there's a reference to some famous person that know that nobody has thought about in 60 years It's like that's now we have one of those in our own podcast and it's this reference to this underwater sex fetish fan site. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Let us move on to our final segment.
Starting point is 01:19:11 I'll be sure to tell the story to my kids when they ask me again why I'm not letting them be a guest on the podcast. Yeah. At the moment. Our final segment on the show is when we recommend movies that won't grate on your nerves constantly in the way that say Robot and the Family might. Do you know what I'm gonna recommend? True, true.
Starting point is 01:19:29 I'm gonna recommend a movie from 1981. I saw a screening of it recently. It's a Fulci picture. It's called The House by the Cemetery. This economy? I watched it with some friends and afterward, my friend Tom turned to me and said, literally the same thought that I had been thinking
Starting point is 01:19:53 throughout the movie, which was, this movie is like if Edgar Wright's Don't trailer was made into a full movie, like it actually existed as a full movie. Because it had sort of like that similar vibe of like, I don't know why all of these elements coexist in this one film or how they do. And there was like sort of weird jump cuts.
Starting point is 01:20:11 There's like a scene where a man like stabs a bat that's on the back of his hand and it cuts quickly to him and his wife having a romantic moment. Seemingly none the worse for wear, which was delightful, but it's also a movie that for all sort of the silliness of it has some moments of real tension and one moment where I like yelped embarrassingly loudly
Starting point is 01:20:38 in the theater. It's been a long time since a horror movie actually elicited that kind of response from me, but the House by the Cemetery from 81 did. I did a big scaredy cat yell in the middle of the screening, and I had a great time watching it, so that's what I recommend. I'm going to recommend a cute little rom-com called Rye Lane that came out, I think, like
Starting point is 01:21:02 a year ago. It follows two singles, two young singles, Dom and Yaz, who are both getting over recent breakups. And it mainly focuses on a single day where the two of them end up spending the day together and kind of working through their various relationships and things like that. In some ways, structurally, it has some things in common with something like, you know, like the before trilogy by Richard Link later.
Starting point is 01:21:31 But it is there's a lot of fun style choices, both with how the how the movie shot. And also it's just super like a very colorful trip around London. And it's really fun and cute and I like it a lot and I would recommend it. So Rylane. Speaking of fun and cute, here's a movie that is neither of those things. I recently watched a movie that I remember seeing
Starting point is 01:21:56 the trailers for when it came out, but never got around to seeing. That was 23 years ago. And it's a kind of modern noir called The Deep End with Tilda Swinton, perhaps you're familiar with that. Where Tilda Swinton is a woman who already seems to be super stressed by being a mom while her husband is away as the captain of a ship
Starting point is 01:22:17 somewhere out in the ocean. And her son is, her older son who is about to go to college is entangled with a seedy club owner, or perhaps he's a drug dealer. He's a nightclub owner, the kind of person you don't really want your son to be involved with. That guy ends up dead.
Starting point is 01:22:37 She finds his body and assumes that her son must have done it, and it begins to be blackmailed by someone who knows that her son and that guy were in a relationship with each other. And her relationship then with be blackmailed by someone who knows that her son and that guy were in a relationship with each other. And her relationship then with the blackmailer takes some surprising turns. And it's a movie that is somehow incredibly tense,
Starting point is 01:22:57 even though, and there's a feeling of threat to it, even though there's not a lot of onscreen threat. And Tilda Swinton's performance in it is so incredibly controlled, but at the same time it always feels like there's all these emotions under the surface. It's just, she's just really fantastic in it. So I would recommend it. It's like she's good at that stuff, right?
Starting point is 01:23:14 It's almost like she's really good at it. So if you're looking for a kind of modern noir, not super modern, because again the movie is nearly a quarter of a century old, but if you're looking for... So there's no like robot boots and flying cars and shit. No, there's no flying cars and robot boots. But if you're looking for a solid noir that's in color, try The Deep End. That's like a pretty current movie for an LA recommendation, right?
Starting point is 01:23:39 Yeah. 23 years? Yeah, 23 years as opposed to 73 years, which is my usual, yeah. Or more than that, 83 years often, yeah. Whoa, man. Another small member in the books. What book is that? What books are these?
Starting point is 01:23:57 I don't know. Someone, I think, tweeted or Instagram message recently saying that. It said, buy more followers. Yeah. Yes, I'm interested. No, it said, they said that this is the 10 year anniversary of this theme month. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:24:18 I didn't check on that. I forgot to, but if so, amazing. But it's always sad when it goes but the only the only Bright spot on the horizon is that shocktober shocktober is about to come around the corner with Spookifying some hot stuff. Do we got a we got a Anything on the slate you want to announce? We were gonna do, I believe, Night Swim and Dear David, I think is the name of it. And for that latter one,
Starting point is 01:24:52 we've got Ms. Hallie Haglund on the books. The star of the show, back again. Star of the show. I feel like Shocktober means more now. We used to do more horror movies during the year. Now we do less, so now Shocktober really means something. There's only good horror movies being made these days, right? I you know you joke but When I was looking at possible shocktober movies
Starting point is 01:25:12 I was actually surprised by how bare the cupboard seemed in terms of like like really tasty ideas So I feel like the general Average in terms of quality of horror movies is the general average in terms of quality of horror movies is very high at the moment. Maybe that's a combination of there not being as many movies being released into theaters and things like that. But I feel like for so many years of our lives,
Starting point is 01:25:36 horror movies were kind of schlock for the most part, and there'd be a really good one every now and then. And I feel like the ones that get made are often very good. Yeah. Yeah, and I think that studios know that like, oh, this is still something that's profitable for us in a way that like has maybe increased the average too. Yeah. Who knows? Anywho. Yeah. Before we go, we should thank Alex Smith, our producer. We should do that. Dan, go ahead and do that. Thank you, Alex. Thank you for
Starting point is 01:26:13 editing us, for cleaning up our audio, for making us sound good, and for also being a delightful person in your own right. You can find Alex's work under the name HowlDotty. He does music, he does Twitch streams, he does other stuff. He's got some great merch over at the HowlDotty store. He's got some great merch over at the Howell Doughty store. Look into all of that. Thank you to our network, Maximum Fun, MaximumFun.org. It's a lot of great other comedy and culture podcasts. I'm sure there's something else there that might strike your fancy. But for the Flophouse, I've been Dan McCloy.
Starting point is 01:26:39 I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliot Kalin. Bye. Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!
Starting point is 01:26:50 Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!
Starting point is 01:26:58 Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Yeah, let's do one for us. Let's do one just for us. And if it's good, you know if it's good, we'll release it. It'll do it in Oops All Silly episode.
Starting point is 01:27:09 Also release it is the way it works. That's the secret with the Flophouse. Yeah.

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