The Flop House - FH Min 61 - Aquatic 80's
Episode Date: August 20, 2022In which Dan's premise is very silly. Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping. ...
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Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliott
Kaelan starting up the episode and ready for some flop house funnies. Dan, what do we do
on this podcast? Well, the normal episodes are ones where we watch a bad movie and then
we talk about it. But also those those take up two weeks in a month
and the other two weeks are taken up by what we call
the flop house mini, which are theoretically shorter,
sometimes they are and they're a lot more freeform.
And not to be confused with the TV channel freeform,
which is unrelated.
No, is it a sponsor?
No, this thing can go to hell. This episode is one
that I'm driving. It is a concept that I hope you go along with. I don't know if you'll
enjoy. We'll see. But I'll introduce it vassally. Okay. By the time. Yeah, I think Stuart
and I are both buying into you introducing a concept.
Okay. Sure.
Thanks. I've set up the premise that I will introduce a premise.
I hope that you'll accept that and go with me.
Okay. By the time you hear this episode, Stuart and I will have presented no way out at the Nighthawk theater.
We are so I'm advertising a thing that has passed already.
We have we have introduced a film at the Nighthawk, which is a thing that we do.
From time to time, when our friend, Christina asks us to do it,
Christina Kacheopo, a programmer at the Nighthawk.
Best in the bend.
And no way out is part of the program.
Wait, hold on a second.
I want to take a minute to talk about Christina before we go.
I feel like theater programmers don't often
get the glory that they deserve.
And she really is the best in the biz.
We've known her for a long time.
She was the programmer at 92 I try Becca,
a now-defunct space that I used to present a screening
series at because
she allowed me to.
She was, she worked at Alamo, like she's just a fantastic programmer.
And who decides which movies are going to make it to the theaters other than the big ones
that hit you over the head with themselves so you have to watch them?
It's these programmers.
So thank you, theater programmers, for bringing us the movies.
We might otherwise not get a chance to see in glorious
wide screen. If they're projected in white. They might not be. Maybe they're projected using that
little thing where you put your phone inside of a cardboard box and it just kind of and it just
shoots out an image onto a pillowcase or something like that. But either way programmers, thank you. Go
to your theater right now. Your local theater. go just kiss your local theater programmer right now and say, thank you.
Don't kiss them. Don't kiss them. At least not without their consent.
If you're in a relationship with them and you're not sneaking up behind them, which is weird
even if you're in a relationship, go ahead and kiss them. Otherwise, maybe just give
them a nice handshake or just wave or just wave and say, good job. Thank you. Or salute
them. I don't know.
Or like $20 and like just like a little tip on. Now it seems creepy. Yeah.
Yeah, one of those little like birthday envelopes where it has a little key hole cut out for the
president's face and you're like, what? No. As if the president is the president's creeping on you. Oh, yeah.
He lists.
He lists.
He says Grant is watching you.
Oh, great.
So Dan or more Benjamin Franklin, I know he's not a fucking president.
He's not telling me he's still on.
Yeah, that's true.
He is on money.
So the point of it, he would have been a president if he hadn't been a felon, but we
can get it. We can get into that later. Yeah, because he would have been a president if he hadn't been a felon, but we can get it.
We can get into that later.
Yeah, because he's never been a bad person.
Press.
No, that's because before that before, when someone is elected, you know, you are money.
There's never been bad people.
When someone's elected president, they have to go talk to the archangel Gabriel who says,
be straight with me.
Have you ever done a bad thing?
And if they say, yes, he says, thank you for telling the truth. You can't be president. If they say no,
then he has to go back and check their history. And I guess cut out their brain and weigh
it against a stone. And if it weighs more than the stone, because it's weighted down
with sin, they can't be president. And there are places.
Oh, wow. That's crazy. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. A lot of people don't know that.
So Dan, so no way out, what's that all about?
This movie that you will have already shown by the time.
Don't tell me.
I'm actually going into this screening completely blind other than knowing the names of three
of the stars.
No way and out.
Yep.
Well, now that you've made a big thing of this, I will reveal that this was just a way to get
into a largely unrelated bit. Oh my god. I appreciate. Oh, there really is no way out of this intro.
Appreciate you really pumping it up. But the point is this was part of Christina's series on
erotic thrillers at the at the night, called Nighthhawk Diaries. I think she was programming before a Roderick Thriller is really sort of, you know, reemerged
in the zeitgeist.
So she was, she was having a, yeah, there were a bunch of articles about.
They're having a mo.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I would say the moment has, has died down a little bit, not, but you should still
go see the series.
The series is great.
But, yeah, because people got tired of being scared
and horny at the same time.
Yeah.
No way out was also featured recently
in the erotic 80s series on,
you must remember this.
So I thought, let's piggyback on the success of that series with my own
mini episode called Aquatic 80s. I like it. Interesting. There are four films from the 1980s,
which are tagged with the keyword Aquatic Humanoid on IMDB. And so we're gonna take a little trip,
take it apart through the four movies with the,
from the 80s with the aquatic humanoid tab.
Okay, okay.
So that whole no way out thing really was a,
a very, really was a,
I mean again, if you guys would just let me sort of
get through my intro, it's called
hang a lantern on it.
So just look at you follow the lantern and the lantern takes you to the aquatic 80s.
It's fine.
Yeah.
So magic lantern that you follow, yeah.
I mean, also in the form speaking, most famous of the four,
and when you, relatively is doing a lot of work here, the first is humanoids from the deep.
I was wondering if that was the first one, yeah.
Yeah. And this is about aquatic humanoid monsters who come a come ashore to murder men and
a sexually sexually assault women.
So that's not really something that would fly as a whole plot of a movie these days.
But it was the 80's.
So that was rated G at the time.
Yeah.
Well, it was it was a Roger Corman production.
So it was pretty came pretty standard for old, old Raj.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Although it was weird that Ronald Reagan devoted most of his state of the Indian
address to urge you, Americans to go see humanoids from the deep, so that they were, would
be fully aware of the dangers that were lurking. The dangers of a horny fish. Now they should
have called it horny fish from the deep. I mean, I feel like
that's the subtitle for the Providence comics. It's interesting that you bring that up,
Elliot, because it was originally titled beneath the darkness to make it sound classy,
so they can check. That is super classy. Yeah. But Korman changed it to humanoids from the deep with his unerring eye for exploitation.
And speaking of which, Korman, the paradox of him is he would give female directors jobs
when that was far, far less common, but then he would do things like he did on human rights from the deep where he went behind
Barbara Peters, the director's back to insert nude scenes that she had refused to include earlier. And just generally make it a lot
rapier. So
one of my least favorite words that ends in ear.
For a man who loves ears of corn.
Well, just like sleepier.
Okay, I accept it.
Slimeier.
Ooh, I'll take it, I guess.
But yeah, Ray, yeah.
And Elliot, Elliot, not normally blessed with long reach, likes to fight with spears.
Yeah. normally blessed with long reach likes to fight with spears.
Yeah.
So definitely not a movie to watch.
If if that is something that will, uh, yeah, if you're like a substitute teacher and you got to put a tape on for the kids.
It's biology class.
I guess I put this one on.
It's a human voice in the title.
Yeah. Now, it starts a victim of John Lamb. This is a manslaughter, Vic Morrow. And
acquitted Dan. He was acquitted for that crime. He very much committed and caused.
So I'm just digging myself further into the problematic elements of this
film. But here's here's some good news. I mean, it wasn't big. Yeah, it wasn't asking for
it. Yeah. It was it was like John, for this next scene, make the helicopters go super low.
He's like John, John, John, but let's only do it if we can have some child actors on board
that didn't sign releases. Yeah, let's only do.
We can have some illegally hired child actors.
Ugh, John Lannis.
Anyway, fuck it.
So, the special effects team for this did work on the Terminator, Grimlands, the Howling,
and the Fly among other things.
It went on to...
Wow.
That is the fucking bankers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, and this is the only of these four movies that I think I
did see a long while ago. And I remember the monsters looking pretty good. And the composer was James
Horner, who probably overall is best known for a score too titanic, but he's best known for sticking his thumb into a Christmas pie in a corner of some kind.
I'm calling a plum out.
This is brother Jack.
I'm sorry. This is my, I'm sorry.
That was his brother Jack.
Sorry, composer James.
Last scene in a corner.
Did he get out?
Who knows? Nothing but a plum on his thumb to eat.
Good old plum thumb to eat. Yeah. Get a plum thumbed horn. He's like, look, I dedicated my life to ending, ending the scourge of guinea worm in, uh, in far off
countries. And yet you put one plum at it with your thumb. That's all they call you as plum thumb.
I feel like when I heard that song as a kid, I'm like, is this a fucking thing
that like Christian kids do like who sticks their thumb and a pie and pulls out a
like what the fuck's going on here? Right? Don't ask me. I'm Jewish. We don't even eat
plants. Dan Dan, they're super Christian. So this is one of these things that like super Christmas. I heard a story that could be apocryphal because all
of the talk concert or something. I'm sure. All of these
explanations for like nursery rhyme rhymes are usually
apocryphal. So who knows? But I remember seeing or reading
something about how like the idea was that this was all allegorical
and the plumb he pulled out was a plumb, a political favor, and it was all a political allegory
of some kind, but it's probably all nonsense.
It seems unlikely.
I'm glad that we finally myth busted that one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How many Pinocchio's do that story again?
Like a billion.
This movie, Human Outs from the Deep,
it's interesting that it's funny that the thing that
Elliot was encouraging me to do was do a miss that movie
on a film that I told them about via text called
the Beach Girls and the Monster from 1965, which it's an interesting fun, bad movie.
If you're like, if you like that kind of thing, check out the Beach Girls and the Monster.
It has a lot of Beach Girls go-go Dancing and a monster or does it?
But mostly it's the fact that you did that makes me kind of guess that maybe there's not
really a monster in it.
Yeah, it's like this weird movie that feels like a soap opera that they just stuck in some
shots of Go Go Dancing girls and a monster.
I don't want to, I don't want to kill the mood, but the movie has humans in it.
It's got monsters.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the real one.
We are the real monster.
That's a good point.
Sorry, I killed the mood in the school lunch.
No, no, it was just, it was a little too real, little too real.
Sorry, guys.
I didn't talk about that movie because I was sort of only half watching it.
I didn't feel like I could give the full flop-house treatment
it deserved. But it's funny to think that like, this from Andrew routinely leaves the movie to go
cut some fruit up and then comes back. He'll go to the theater and leave to cut fruit up and they're
like, sir, what are you doing? This is the concession stand. Why are you cutting fruit? It's just
interesting to me that that happened because I came up with this alternate idea
and then I realized that this first movie, Human Oids from the Deep, was very consciously
Roger Corman's attempt to sort of do a more modern version of this sort of microgenre of beach
monster. Yeah, like the monster party beach and things like that. Exactly. So this
is the Korman sleazeier version. But anyway, let's move on to the next. Now is Korman.
Now is Roger Korman related to the director Michael man? That's a good. Yeah, it's
good. The core of director Michael man. Oh, so you whittle them down. That's what's inside. Okay. I know. Now I don't have to do it because you
told me that's good for Michael. Man. Okay. Continuing this tour of aquatic 80s. Now he stands to
come a real Roger tour man. This next film now accounts very online as to when this movie came out.
IMDB says 1980, Wiki says 81, but because of that dispute, it is second on a tour after
humanoid, which came out in 80 for sure.
This is called Rana, the legend of shadow lake. Okay. And the single, the single trivia item on IMDB is Rana is Spanish for Frog.
I don't know if I'm pronouncing it correctly, but R-A-N-A is Spanish for Frogs.
I think Frog is right.
Yeah, I think you said it right.
Thank you.
I did.
Okay.
Good.
I pronounced frog correctly.
Swish. Just nothing but men on that one's to nothing but net. Beautiful.
And now this, uh, this movie also has an alternate title, uh, which makes sense.
When you know that, uh, it's Spanish for frog. It says the alternate title is croaked.
Colin. Croaked Frog Monster from Hell.
Cool, now, of course.
Better title, I think.
Yeah.
And more appropriate to where this came from,
because this is a trauma film,
and apparently Lloyd Kaufman in his book said this was one of the five best
trauma movies, which is a low bar, but there you go. If you want to see a good
trauma movie, maybe this is year one. I got a question. I'm gonna head
LA it off at the past real quick and ask you is Lloyd Kaufman related to Michael men. Like is he when Michael Michael man has a cough?
He coughs.
Okay.
That's what I was asking.
Thank you.
When he coughs, he vomits up his core.
Right.
Oh, wow.
Ow.
Amazing.
And that's it's like the cat in that environment.
Now, Dan, are you familiar with the director of this movie?
I'm just looking
up now is Bill Rabayne who did a couple of mystery science theater movies either the
giant spider invasion and he did monster go go may which is maybe the worst movie I
think they've ever done on that show worse than Manos certainly.
Yeah I mean I remember I think I had the amazing colossal episode guide. I think that they singled it out
as the worst movie in the world.
I remember watching that for a lot of my mystery science
theater watching when I was young,
the only way to see it was to watch it,
week nights at midnight, from midnight to 2 a.m.,
Comedy Central.
And any time it was Monster of Go-Go,
I just knew I was in for a lot of long shots
of people hanging around a tunnel,
waiting for a monster that never shows up
and it felt like it was endless. It was just going forever and somehow 40,000 hours of waiting
were crammed into what was probably 25 minutes of screen time. But oh man. So.
Theory of relativity. Anyway. That's what Einstein was talking about.
It was the case of some movie monster, or go-, this is when relativity really comes into play.
Now details on this movie are slim.
The Wikipedia plot summary tops out at one sentence.
It says when a fortune is discovered at the bottom of the lake,
a diver is out to get it.
Even when you discover that the loot is being guarded by an awful underwater beast. And I took a look at some YouTube
clips to try and fill out my knowledge of this. And they are very muddy. And the monster,
the titular monster, because it's a lake with a frog in it. It can't just say it's not, it's not beautiful cinematography. I mean, it's probably degraded
over time. Who knows? It could have been gorgeous.
Yeah, I mean, like you too is the K-Restoration, yeah.
Yeah, YouTube is known for its crystal clear presentation, right?
Yeah, that's true. But it's the monster, the titular monster, looks kind of like a cheddar goblin.
Which title, Rob, or croaked?
Let's say croaked.
Okay, so his name is croaked.
Frog monster from hell.
Who's the titular?
So he looks like the cheddar goblin.
Yeah.
Yeah, I praise.
Yes, this is as good a time as we find of what was that two two thousand
What 18
This was good. Yeah, when did Mandy come out 18 to 80 or 81? Oh Mandy. Yeah, I don't know the cheddar gal long time
Out 2018 got it on I just looked it up got it right on the scope. Yeah, kill it. Yeah
That was that's when I snipe I snipe that one without even looking amazing. Yeah, it's amazing
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Now this next movie, also from 1981, presuming that the previous one was actually from 1981.
Yes.
Well, never know.
There's no way of knowing.
It feels like the aquatic 80s are fucking frontloaded in the eight.
Yeah.
I think people got kind of tired of aquatic gaming.
Yeah.
There's a movie that I'm really wondering if it's on this list, if it made on this list,
and we'll find out at the end, there's a pretty big aquatic Q and O.A. movie from the 80s.
I'm wondering if we're going to get to it. Dan's a pretty big aquatic humanoid movie from the 80s.
I'm wondering if we're gonna get to it.
Dan, what's the next one?
It's not this one.
This one, this next one is Saturday the 14th.
Okay, so it's one day after Friday the 13th.
Yeah, Saturday the 14th.
I have not seen this film either.
Really? Like I said, like I said,
well, I. It doesn't sound like you, Dan.
I have seen Saturday the 14th strikes back,
which was released in 1988.
And I remember distinctly watching Saturday the 14th strikes
back when I was a kid on a family vacation somewhere.
It was the end of the day where we checked into a motel
with my parents. Boogey Motel was tired. And, you know, we just got to go with what's on
television and. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever the team is offering on the 14 stars. Who's that?
Ed Beagle Jr. Well, I'll tell you Saturday the 14 stars, Richard Benjamin, actor who later on did a lot
of directing.
Paul apprentice, Richard and Ben.
Paul printus and Jeffrey Tambor is also.
Oh, I think I'm thinking of translating a six five thousand.
You were thinking of translating a six five thousand.
I have seen translated a six five thousand.
Yeah, I'm't understand that.
Incredible in that movie.
Yeah, no argument here.
That's either the movie that she met Jeff Goldblumon or the movie they made while in the
throws of love after meeting on earth girls are easy. I can never remember which one it was.
One of them they met on and the next one they made while they were in love.
And I don't remember which is it wasn't the fly. They were already in love by then, I think.
Oh, well, man, made a lot, made a lot of good stuff. Those, they made a lot of movies
together. I never thought about it. Gina Davis and Jeff, Jeff Goldman were really the
William Powell and Murnal Lawyer of the 1980s. Yeah. Okay. So we're turning to Saturday
the 14th, the original, the first in the Saturday the 14th franchise.
Now, one would think from the title,
this is a slash or spoof,
but it is actually a spoof of old horror movies,
such as one might see in the 30s or 40s.
So it's more up alley, it's alley.
Sure.
Again.
I love seeing things I love get made fun of.
From the director of the director came back for Saturday the 14th strikes back. He also made
space raiders, financed by Julie Korman, wife of Roger. So it's all keeping it in the family, aquatic humanoid wise. Now, as I said, having seen it,
so I can't speak to the specific aquatic humanoid.
I assume it is a take on the creature from the Black Goon
if it is old horror movies,
but the I'm BD trivia page says,
and I quote,
at one hour, 11 minutes, and 46 seconds, the bathtub fish monster punches
through the glass and reaches inside the house, momentarily grabbing the breast of Debbie,
parentheses, Carrie Michelson, as she is standing to the side of the window, happening ostensibly
by accident.
So that's the trivia. This accidental boob grab is the trivia for Saturday the 14th.
They should have called the movie accidental boob grab. That's a scarier title. Yeah.
But for both of the people involved, it was originally called nailed and then they turned into
accidental boob grab. That's looking at the cast list. Dan, it looks like it also, it features a performance by Severn Darden, who was a second
city member, who I always thought had a really cool first name.
His first name is Severn.
S-E-V-E.
It's pretty cool.
He's in some of the plan of the Apes movies.
Anytime he comes up in a book about comedy, I'm always like, where do you get a name like
that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so this movie probably his parents. parents. Good point. That's a good
way you probably did. Good. Not critically claimed. The variety quote I found called it
a pathetic farce, which will seem frail, even on TV, which it probably should have been made for
in the first place. So there you go. That's harsh.
People got eat variety.
And with that in mind, the sequel live up to that same harsh critique.
You know, when I saw it at age, I'm going to guess around eight.
Very discerning age.
Pretty funny, but maybe you know why it couldn't
have been eight because the sequel came out in 88 at which point I
would have been 10 already. So yeah, unless you're in a house
of leaves and things don't work the same. Did you go to the motel
of leaves? Was that where you saw it? I probably was about 12, I
would guess by the time it showed up on TV and I was encountering
it anyway. Okay.
The non-disastering of 12, but that history is mystery.
So that's three down.
That's three equategates in.
We only have one more left.
Are there any accidental boob grabs in Saturday the 14 strikes back?
Because I could see a 12 year old liking it for that.
Yeah.
You know what?
I cannot recall.
Okay. I cannot recall. I'm pleading, pleading
the fifth on this one. All right. Yeah. And so the final stop in our tour of aquatic 80s,
LA was playing like a rejected NBC game show stump Mr. Skin right there. Show me accidental blue grab. Let's see what
Mr. Skin has to say. Mr. Skin silhouette looks a lot like day. And for some reason it's
Ben Stein playing Mr. Skin though. I'm as a kaya skin. And you're going to win my money
if you can beat me at figuring out which
nudity is in these films.
Not as problematic as his political beliefs.
I had a, I had a, Dan before we get to number four, I just was like, I had a heated conversation
with someone recently about how mad I still am at the characters in Nocta for not knowing
there was already a Mr. Skin website.
I know.
I mean, so mad.
I said, how are these guys?
They cannot be that interested in these guys.
What?
Yeah, but how can they be so interested in nudity and film and not be aware of the number
one information source for where to find it?
It just made me so I could not.
I was like, if these care either this, either this movie is asking me to suspend my disbelief
too much or these characters are such morons that I have no sympathy for
them in any case.
Either way, I'm, I'm for some reason I was so mad about it.
I was like watching, like watching Cratching Dagger Hint Dragon and being like, I guess I
have to assume everyone can like fly around and stuff.
But you know, we're willing to pick that up.
But it also, there was a moment, there was a moment in my head while I was talking to some about this where I was like, why am I still so angry about this?
Why is this still something that I remember little alone I'm heated about?
Was the person you talked to, I hope you're a therapist.
It was Judd Apatow actually.
Oh, you're my career.
Yeah, yeah, I can see that.
Okay.
We were at the annual memorial for Harvey Korman at which it's made very clear that he's
not related to Roger Korman.
That's the main aspect of it, yeah.
So our final stop, Stuart, Stuart, is stu-tly noted that-
A stu-tly?
The aquatic humanoid
genre was
front loaded uh...
the beginning of the decade and then
we saw them disappear from screens for a while
uh...
but the big
and become you know
the novelty had worn off but by
the brief three movie craze had come to an end
this last one is from 1987. Oh fuck. That's a
I think this is not is this the one that I'm thinking of? It's called demon of paradise.
Oh no, I I because I'm thinking of splash Dan a huge hit about a humanoid that came out
in the 80s and enormous movie about aquatic humanoid. Look, I'm just going by. It's got a murray. I am DB tagged as a aquatic humanoid. It seems like it seems like
that's a big, a big miss. I think that maybe there, there's a difference
in, in the minds of the, the taxonomy makers that I am.
Maybe between mermaids and aquatic humanoid. I just, I just see have a name
and that's mermaid.
I guess that's true.
And aquatic humanoid is just referring to.
I just see Darryl Hannah going up to accept her aquatic humanoid, I guess, a check and
them saying, I'm sorry, you don't, this doesn't apply to you.
You're a mermaid.
Doesn't count, yeah, doesn't count.
So that's, so there goes, there goes my thinking that you were saving the biggest movie
for last and that it would
turn out to be Splash, huge hit, enormous.
I think for kids today, it's hard to tell how much this movie about a guy who basically,
how would you say it, like, like, traps a mermaid into loving him?
Yes.
Like, how huge a movie this was.
Yeah.
Well, and particularly speaking of Mr.
Skin for a young Dan who remembers Darryl Hannah's butt as she walks onto Liberty Island.
Now this is not to be a horror on Disney plus. Disney plus puts a mixture of digital
hair over that shit. That's wild, man. So wait, is did they her hair hangs over it or they
just gave her a really hairy butt? That's actually a good question.
I'm longer than previously did.
They're like, so when, when Roy Disney, I guess, I think he's since past, but when he,
when he bought these movies, he goes, Hans got a shoot second.
Gredo has to shoot first.
And also we cannot see Darrell Hannah's butt anymore.
We got to cover it up.
Impossible.
And people have been supporting corrections. People have been pointing out that like Disney Plus
is gonna have fucking Deadpool soon.
Like it's already there.
It was so weird to turn on, to go to Disney Plus
and to have on the front page Deadpool, Deadpool too.
I was like, that's nuts.
And you're like kids.
I was just, kids, let's watch this shit.
You're not, you'll be sick of Ryan Realtz soon.
So let's just get this shit out of your system.
I know how much you love breaking the fourth wall, but that's crazy.
So yeah, Dan, so that's 1984.
How old were you in 1984 when Splash came out?
I would have been six.
Okay. So is this the origin story for your interest in
but could it be? I mean, by the time it got to, you know, like, so that I don't so
lend an animal. It's possible. It's possible. This is the origin story. Yeah, it was done
suddenly reaching for a sandwich or whatever it is covered. Okay anyway.
Um, demon of paradise. Okay. Now this film not splash.
No, not splash at all. Wait, wait, wait, uh, similar.
Turn to describe the plot. It might actually be splash. Okay.
It's okay. It's time hangs in it.
Uh, the plot of this is that, uh, there is a lake monster called Akua or Akua.
And despite rituals performed by fire twirling women that were meant to appease this monster,
dynamite fishing, wakes this lake monster up and it prays on tourists at a nearby resort.
And now this film is set in Hawaii.
It was shot in the Philippines where a lot of exploitation films were shot.
There's a great documentary called Machete Maiden's Unleashed about all of the low-budget
sleaze shot in the Philippines.
And this one is from prolific Filipino director,
Sero Santiago, who has 100 directing credits,
including the film's Angel Fist, Cage Heat 2,
and Vampire Hookers.
And I like that you think it's the title is going to be vampire hunters and then it takes
an abrupt swerve after the hot sound.
The trailer looks pretty entertaining.
I gotta say, not a movie.
Again, I've seen, but a worthy end to the aquatic 80s.
Sure.
Yeah.
Moving into the dry 90s.
Oh, I mean, it's not like, it's funny.
Yeah, it's right.
Why 90s is pretty dry.
It's like they didn't release any movies about water.
There certainly wasn't a movie about a water world
in the 1980s.
In entire world of water,
well, that in Kissingville.
A huge world of water.
And of course,
there's never water in movies afterwards.
And the abyss is not on this list
where there's a humanoid kind of face made out of water.
That's not a bottle enough for them.
Not an 80s movie.
Number one.
Wow.
Not humanoid.
It's 90s.
That's early 90s.
And Harris, if you're listening right in and tell us
when your movie came up.
And by the end of the year,
Dan, it came in just.
What? It came in just on the wire 1989 for the Abyss.
So I guess you owe me a holiday to that.
I call, that's right.
I mean, I guess it would not call any of those creatures humanoid, maybe when the water
takes on a Merry Liz with Master Antonio's face, but that water is not the creature
is just being controlled by the creature.
Oh, okay, okay, that's a good point.
You know what I apologize?
And I own apology to add Harris to.
And I also to James Cameron,
whose new Avatar movie is all about water.
So it looks like wet is back.
Is that the sun coming?
It's Avatar 2 all about water.
It's called, they're wet this time. It's's Avatar 2 all about water. It's cool.
They're wet this time.
It's called Avatar 2, wet enough for you.
So before we leave the aquatic 80s, I just want to ask the question that really I think
these movies puts in the mind, which is, why are fish men so horny?
It seems like. Good question.
Throughout history, even going back to the original fish man, the creature for the black
little girl.
Yeah, he is also.
Yeah.
The very horny as a group.
My younger son loves the creature from the black lagoon.
He has a little stuffed creature from the black lagoon.
He talks about him all the time.
He was very upset when he found out there's no Abbott and Costello meet the creature from
the Black Lagoon.
And we've talked about writing a spec screenplay of that, which I hope to someday share
with the flop house listeners if they're interested, that hopefully my four year old and I can
put together.
But yeah, it's hard for me.
He tells me, he has me to tell the story of the creature from the Black Looney, and it's
hard for me to do it since it's in a kid way, since basically about a monster who kidnaps
a woman. kidnapped so woman.
Yeah, why are these aquatic humanoids always so so you know, what's the word you, I'm
trying to look for a word that's not rapy guys, what's a word that would describe?
Well, bad.
Maybe we don't want to take a trip down, trip down
fish lane. It is. It is.
It is a good question. Why
fishermen are so horny?
Normally, uh, fish don't strike
me as overly horny creatures.
No, I mean, there is the happy
fishermen. There's the happy
fish. We've talked about before,
the fish that seems to be interested
in sucking the jig. I mean, about before the fish that seems to be interested in sucking the chick.
I mean, the real question is why is the fisherman fishing without pants on?
Because from the water up, he's wearing a shirt and a fishing vest.
And from the water down, there's nothing.
So that's the, that's why I think we know why it's so he gets a blowjob.
That's okay, fair.
But it's also strange considering most fish don't have sex.
The, the, as far as I know, the female fish just puts her eggs down and the male fish,
when the female is not looking, I guess, when she goes to answer the door, he runs over and
sprays his sperm all over it and then laughs to himself and runs away. So it doesn't really make
any sense at all. So yeah, I don't, I don't understand it. So if you're an etheologist, write in.
I think then it's clear that the fish
is more interested in the fisherman's pleasure
than its own sort of enjoyment.
Right, yeah, or that it does think that his penis
is some kind of worm and that it's a strange worm
that it has to be related in order to,
yeah, so you can zoom.
The fish is like, I shouldn't eat this one.
I'll just put my mouth on it.
Yeah, I'll just say it in one per a while.
Yeah, I'll just say it in one per a while.
Well, right in, let's do this.
Or don't, please.
Right into, did we jump the shark,
or did we see the flop house and tell us,
did we jump the shark and was that shark horny?
This episode has raised a lot of questions.
We're going to have a week to think about it.
Well, bring this conversation up again next time you're at the floor.
No, I don't think we know.
Well, bury this episode in the desert near the ET cartridges.
Yeah.
They're out there.
Anyway, hey, normally there's less alarming stuff that we do here in the podcast.
Check it out.
Oh, we should mention, by the way, if you're listening to this episode with children,
please, please don't.
Please stop.
Please take them to get their memory wiped at the internal sunshine. Yeah.
You get the M.I.B.s to flash them in the eyeballs. Yeah.
At your local brain scan booth.
But thank you all for listening. Thank you for bearing with us. Again, my strange concept
that I came up with today when I was like, oh, shit, it's my turn. And there are a lot of other great shows,
something that work better planned out than this one.
Check them out at maximfund.org.
If for some reason you still like us,
let people know about the show.
Recommend it to people.
Recommend a different episode though.
No, this one.
And thank you to Alex Smith, who's gonna, you know, make something listable out of all
this hash that we use this audio hash.
He's gonna, he's gonna spend gold out of this garbage.
And in return, we owe him a baby.
I know that, I know that usually Dan has one or two things that he tells Alex to take
out.
I want to see the list that
Dan puts together for this one. Yeah, but David O'Sulls mixed style 50 page memo about
this episode. For the flop house, I have been Dan McCoy. I'm Stewart Wellington. And I'm ashamed that I'm also Elliot Kaelin. Bye.
Where am I?
Let me let me let me actually start.
Why did I wheel so badly? It was I think that has to be the way the episode starts is, is with Dan saying, let me, let's start this thing.
Ah!
Like he's auditioning to replace David Lee Roth.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Danie Lee Roth.
Hey everyone.
You've just heard me scream because it's time for the fly pass.
I'm Dan McCoy.
I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliott Kalen.
The the stated mission for this show is to watch a critical or commercial flop and then talk
about it. But on our and yes, yes, occasionally discussed to peak a gazes.
We do a flat house, mayonnaise, which are a little more freeform. And starting to rough, but every once in a while, we also talk about a good movie like Tango
and Cash or the movie Cats.
That's true.
Thank you for that important clarification.
Now, how would we handle it?
There's a movie called Tango and Cats where Ray Tango, the hottest cop on the force, has
to team up with some cats to take down cat balance because Jack Palants has been reincarnated
as a cat after being born on the day of the cat. I can't imagine cat palants because Jack Palants has been reincarnated as a cat after being blown up in the next.
I can't imagine cat palants would like this situation very much since those cats and
Ratango would take his money.
Sometimes I wonder why we don't seem to like grow our audience and he further passed where
we're at and perhaps it's because every episode starts with multiple interruptions before
we get to the gist of what we're doing.
I already get in the heart. I love it. I'm certainly sure it certainly doesn't help.
So anyway, hey Dan, so another thing I was wondering, just kidding.
I was just going to explain by the time you hear this episode of the show.
We will all be dead.
And you have to solve the mystery. That's right.
That's what I've cooked up.
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