The Flop House - FH Mini 44 - FlopTails, Part 2, with Zhubin Parang

Episode Date: December 11, 2021

When last we left our doggie heroes, they had made their way inside the house, and thus far managed to protect the adorable kitten, Cutiepie -- but they STILL haven't scored any of that delicious chil...i, and their antics continue to threaten the farmer's daughter's wedding day. What will happen?!? Give a listen and see!(If you want to listen to the previous FlopTales RPG adventures, consider becoming a MaxFun member, and checking out the bonus feed!)

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm not a fan of the game, but I'm not a fan of the game. Don't throw in the wedding plans Terrap dangerous, certain death I should have faced you on your quest But don't worry the hog's bottom three I ain't again a bowl of chili Fluff dance Everybody's favorite true in Fluff dance Protect cutie pine top to stew D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- You know and I'm playing scraps. Superdance, your silver fur. And me, your boy's stew.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Ever about his favorite green wind. You know and I'm playing scraps. Superdance, your silver fur. And me, your boy's stew. Tails. Never about his favorite green wind. Tails. You know and I'm playing scraps.
Starting point is 00:01:03 You know and I'm playing scraps. Superdance, your silver fur. Andie pie and talk to stew. Plot of tails. Not ponytails or some kind of bird tail. Plot of tails. Plot of tails. Hey, welcome to another episode of FlopTales. This is part two of our actual play, tabletop role-playing game podcast. If this is your first encounter with our podcast, you should not listen to this, listen to a different episode. And if you want to get the first part
Starting point is 00:01:44 of this story, go back to part one, which was from two weeks ago. Now, normally here on the flop house, we watch a bad movie and talk about it, but tonight, we are going to be playing a role-playing game that's part of our extended flopp tales universe. I am going to be your game master tonight. My name is Stuart Wellington, and joining me is... I'm Dan McCoy. We recorded these
Starting point is 00:02:06 back to back. So I'm still sick. Uh-huh. I'm Ellie Kaelin. Still not sick. Who knows? Maybe I've died between these episodes being released. We don't know. We're recording them in the same week, but hopefully, oh, same night, but hopefully not. And I'm human perang. I, my part was recorded two weeks apart. Wow. Yeah. And then he just anticipated what we were going to say and do. Yeah. And it was intricately stitched into the previous recording somewhat magically in a forest-gump type style. Cause you know, time X wasn't really at those places, right? What? No. Come on. Like he didn't, they didn't, they didn't bring John of Kennedy back to life for the movie. I, my understanding was it was like boyhood
Starting point is 00:02:44 where they just took that long of a time to do it. It took them 30 years at least to make the movie. Yeah, because they just had Tom Hanks hang out at places where they thought maybe something significant might happen. It's planning to white house and do something. Something historical is going to happen at the White House. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 00:03:01 They also chopped off Gary Sinesis' legs, right? So that the moon would be cool. Well, that sure. They also chopped off Gary Seneese's legs, right? So that the mood would be cool. Well, that's just how Gary Seneese does things. Yeah, they gave him back new legs. The same way that Tom Cruise does all his own stunts, Gary Seneese loses all his own legs, yeah, for the first movies. You also only see those parts where Tom Hanks is at that actually ended up being historically
Starting point is 00:03:21 relevant. You don't see like the five years he's spent sure in the end, you know, in Bavaria hoping for something to happen. Nothing actually did. Yeah. He did spend a lot of time in Topeka thinking that he was going to happen to Pika and went through a number of jobs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Really hit hard times because he kept acting during that period, you know. He would keep muttering himself. It's always the places you least expect, you know, and right in the middle of the town. It's like it would be much more dramatic if something happened here than in say New York, where dramatic things happen all the time. Hopefully, I guess I'll just stay here for a little bit longer. How does we get here? Well, we got here because we just are riffing in bullshit and that's what we do here on this
Starting point is 00:04:02 comedy podcast. But tonight we're going to be playing our role playing game and just a quick catch up last week or two weeks ago. You were tasked with getting some of the farmer's prize winning chili on the day of his daughter's wedding and it is going okay so far. You have all managed to make it into the farmhouse and you have managed to keep cutie pie, the adorable but danger prone kitten alive despite yourselves. The amount of heat is currently three if it ever gets to 10. You have ruined the wedding and everyone will be disappointed. Let's get back to game.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Are they not gonna get married if the heat number gets to 10, you know, I don't want to say never Yeah, but certainly not day. You know, it might not happen today We'll find out any given I mean she's already probably having cold feet So I don't think this she's gonna take this as a sign Well, then we should turn up the heat warm up those feet get her more excited about the wedding, you know get those feet Let's go. No, he means that I feel like it's more I mean, that's that's where the phrase came from, right? Is that people that were going to get married,
Starting point is 00:05:09 their feet got so cold that they couldn't actually walk down the aisle. Exactly, yeah. I think so, yeah. They crossed by defeat with this. They shattered, like, terminators, that, right? It just like happened to Gary's niece behind the scenes of First Company.
Starting point is 00:05:18 It's her right into the film. Yeah. Great. It's cold feet to do the movie, and then it's... Because we're not taking his foot off the air conditioning, man. It's so powerful. They kept saying, Gary, don't do that the movie and then we're not taking his foot off the air conditioning events. They kept saying Gary don't do that.
Starting point is 00:05:28 And he said I like it. I like to have my feet being cooled. They get sweaty otherwise. Okay. So you know, I just thought of is it possible to ask the farmer? We just asked the farmer for a chili. No, we don't have a few requests on their daughter's way. Yes, if we could speak English, I mean, one, he's not the godfather, he's a farmer.
Starting point is 00:05:47 And two, we speak- I, my dog comprehension is limited to when I see movies. Like, I'm a dog. I only understand what I see in classic films. I'm a dog with a real love for new Hollywood. What if we run to the wedding and bang on the window and then escape with the bride in a bus? Would that, would we get chilly then? Would she give us some chilly? Yeah. So, two of you lucky and scraps you are in the kitchen with cutie pie and you have just made a mess of the plates. What's the plan? What are you doing? Are you going to hastily sweep them up and make do-wise?
Starting point is 00:06:28 Are you going to continue attempting to hide? Yeah. Are you going to cause a different distraction? I mean, do we feel like the people have seen in the kitchen have seen us with the plates, where they just know plates have fallen down? The people are coming over to check on the plates. If you don't do something quickly, you will be spotted.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Okay, now I could, one of my traits is distract. I could distract them. I don't know what I would be distracting them for. I don't know exactly what I would, is there anything that lucky that you can do that would get us closer to chili? Well, it's distract them. I mean, my skills are being curious, unaffected, and strange coincidence.
Starting point is 00:07:08 So I don't think any particular skill would apply in this case. Maybe we could, I don't know, what do dogs do? The frisbee's, we could throw the plates around like frisbee's. I mean, that doesn't seem like necessarily lower the level, but I mean, that work it is. Can't stay mad at you again, which I used last time to assuage some workers after their horse almost killed cutie by. And just a reminder, cutie pie is in the kitchen with you and also Tabatha, the angry old mean cat who wants to kill cutie pie is also in the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Now, if we could somehow blame Tabitha for this, would that lower the heat level on us? Yeah, you would just have to explain how you would successfully do that. No, that was my immediate thought too, Elliot. I mean, if we all like find, if we all hide effectively, and Tabitha's the only animal on view, it seems like.
Starting point is 00:08:04 But you would need to trick Tabitha into revealing herself. Uh, let me suggest to you guys that one of you runs over to Tabitha, and I know there's gonna be a dice roll, but if you can hurl her into the chili, that will be- But I don't want to- That will solve two problems at once. I mean, the thing is, I mean, I guess a dog would want to eat chili that a cat was in. I was gonna say, I don't want to eat chili that's full of cat, but, or supposed to be the
Starting point is 00:08:25 cat hair. Cat meat, I probably... I don't eat it. I don't eat it. I eat it probably. I don't eat it. I don't eat it. I don't eat it.
Starting point is 00:08:33 I don't eat it probably. I don't eat it probably. I don't eat it probably. I don't eat it probably. I don't eat it probably. I don't eat it probably. I don't eat it probably. I don't eat it probably.
Starting point is 00:08:41 I don't eat it probably. I don't eat it probably. I don't eat it probably. I don't eat it probably. I don dog. You can do all kinds of shit. Yeah. I think you started that. I'm going to use distract. That's a, that's, and I'm going to do that. Distract. I'm going to throw my voice and do a meow, meow sound so that it sounds like it's coming from Tabitha. So people see her next to the plates and not us. Well, and while they're looking at her, we can kind of tiptoe away back towards the chili. Okay. I have two good. You have a, you have a, you have an ear for impressions. Yeah. Well, and while they're looking at her, we can kind of tip toeway back towards the chili. Um, I have two good, you have a, you have a, you have a ear for impressions. Yeah, well, that's the thing with scraps.
Starting point is 00:09:09 That's a lovable might. I'm always observing and I'm always doing my routines, you know, uh, I do, I do a jack Nicholson if he were a dog. Oh, man, you know, like, um, Don't do that now. Save it for the whole. It's like bark, bark. Like that's what I was like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:23 And like, oh, wow, my, my Laker game. What's up? You guys haven't heard my Jimmy Stewart if he was a dog. That's another one that I do. And of course, who's a hot star now that people like that has a distinctive voice. There aren't any I don't think. So I'll do I think I'm going to just for all of you. Adam drivers, you're, you're, Oh, actually, Adam driver would be like, Adam driver would be like this. Bark, bark, bark, like kind of like an angry,
Starting point is 00:09:51 you know, he does, he does bark when he talks. Yeah. Anyway, who was the other person you mentioned after Adam driver? I was gonna say, Kumail, not Johnny, but I'm very, I'm very much like to hear scraps do that. I mean, Kumail, not Johnny has, I mean, it's mostly an eyebrow, so you can't hear it.
Starting point is 00:10:05 You just gotta see it, but I'm gonna leave my eyebrow in the Ninjiani style. Okay, so I'm gonna roll for it to distract throwing my voice, but making a meow sound. What do you think? Should I use one of my good boy points for this? I've got them. They're just lying around. I think you should, yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:22 You've got two, right? You do a lot. Yeah, because it's already 46. This is five D6. Wow. That's right. That's solid 50%. That's not I don't think that's I mean you show a dog. So yeah, understanding of of of of of a chance and what's the word probability? Okay. Yeah, just don't want to get up. Okay, got two sixes in this one. Wow. So what happens? What do you do?
Starting point is 00:10:44 Okay. So I literally throwing my voice. I go out there. Okay, got two sixes in this one. Wow. So what happens? What do you do? Okay, so I literally throwing my voice, I go out of the corner, I'm out, I go, meow, meow, meow. And my voice leaps, the sound leaps from my mouth over to above Tabitha, almost like a cartoon loudspeaker, as Peer's above her going, meow, meow, and everybody in the room turns and looks at Tabatha
Starting point is 00:11:07 who is, you know, right on top of the couch. Yeah, she's like Pershan Tava on a cabinet right there. Yeah, yeah. And right where she would be in the perfect place to knock those plates over. And they all get mad at her. And me and Lucky and Cudipi, we all tiptoe away and you hear the,
Starting point is 00:11:23 ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, as our toes, as we're literally. We all tiptoe away and you hear the, tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt t that's farmer, McAllister's wife, picks her up and holds her one arm out the window and drops her. Yeah, into the waiting open mouth of Captain, I can only assume. Yeah. No problem. No, you won't deal with that. Just so you see, you are down to two heat, the wet, the things are looking good. Oh great, she falls on the ground and I just sleep to have the falls on the ground and she holds up a sign that says how rude.
Starting point is 00:12:06 And yeah, that's perfect. And she gets served papers by the creators of Full House. I mean, you can't, you can't trademark, like does dialogue. I can try. I mean, I guess Disney did Disney did try to trademark Cinco de Mayo. She's being served papers by the Housebroken for cast simultaneously, right? Yeah, I mean, you can't copyright a character.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Oh, you know, I said that Disney tried to try to trademark Cinco de Mayo. I think they tried to trademark Day of the Dead. That's what it was. And also Seal Team's, they tried to trademark, which seems bonkers. I mean, as bonkers, this is to try to trademark a holiday from up front, like
Starting point is 00:12:45 it has been celebrated for a long time, to trademark and in the news, covert ops organization. Anyway, Disney, you got a lot of, let's talk. Trade law is very much a, well, it can't hurt. Let's, we might as well. Yeah, let's try it. Just cause, like, what did they just cause the filing fee? You go. You go.
Starting point is 00:13:04 The biggest media company there is is I think maybe it's like, what, 25 bucks? Let's just let's just let's trademark the let's just see what happened. You go tiptoeing out of the you go tiptoeing out of the kitchen. You push open the door to sneak a sneak away from the from the farmer's wife. And you end up in the dining room with guests who that's right Dancer silver for all three of you guys are together. Oh dancer you made it You guys yeah, you guys come in to on the tail end of the applause that I'm getting from the From the that's true. Yeah, I'm like you won't believe what happened we flew
Starting point is 00:13:40 We flew because of a smell I Don't want to hear this religious mumbo jumbo, man. I'm not into this. I don't, I just give me a pamphlet and we'll just move on. So we got it. So we were in the kitchen. We got, we got, we left had to leave the kitchen because some plates fell down. We got to get back into the kitchen where that chili is, right? Also, here's good advice. Guys, I'm telling you, I'm thinking that our way in to getting that chili is the bruiser way in a rest in peace, the way that we do a good deed so good that we get that chili.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Is that how bruiser got it? Forget about this trying to get the chili. Is that the legend of bruiser? Legend for legend tells us that he got, he did such a good thing that they, that he got some chili, voluntarily the farmer gave him chili. Now, do we have any idea what that thing was? Well, do we, I'm thinking, what comes into my head, do we? Was it lost in the dusty annals of dog legend? I mean, I'm sure you guys can make something up.
Starting point is 00:14:40 So the story goes. Oh, thank you. I hear that the story goes that, um, well, that's all I know is the story goes. But I'm from the second story of a haylock. I don't think that was it. And he was in the water. What's a fiction?
Starting point is 00:14:54 I mean, maybe it was. Yeah, the original cutie pie, a cutie pie the first. This is, of course, a speaking of cutie pie. She is already on the dining room table. And it's my way. Oh, my God. It to be on for that. How are we supposed to look to to retail the oral stories of our ethnic heritage as dogs on this farm
Starting point is 00:15:13 if we have always been distracted by QD5. Okay, we've got to get QD5 down from that table. What can we do? This cat is performing a ratio as what's going on here. She is not allowing us to pass down any world traditions. We are, I, boy, you want to, you want to, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, scamp again straps? I don't, I've, I'm just, uh, so what's on the table? The table is covered in what? I'm worried about what I'm going to be running into if I scamper. So there are, there is a wedding cake. There are a few, uh, bouquets of flowers that the maids are coming in
Starting point is 00:15:45 and picking up and taking outside. There's like baskets of rolls and stacks of plates. So I hope you can hear us. Oh, here's what I'm gonna do. I will once again use my show dog pure bread traits. Oh no. To jump on the table. Yeah, it's run through all those plays and biscuits and things like so many
Starting point is 00:16:08 obstacles on a show course and cut and cut off QD Pie as she runs towards the wedding cake. Just runs, cut her off just like a semi-hitting a Honda cord when she when she comes in to T-bone me on the side and knock her off the table. Hey, suggest a less brute force option. No, let me just say lucky it's almost certain to fail and it may kill cutie pie. I think we might have to dry it. No, it's cutie pie close enough to the it's cutie pie close enough of the edge of the table that we could just like put our front paws on the table and pull her down off the table?
Starting point is 00:16:48 Or is she like really in the center of this table? We can't reach that far. So you want to try and be like sneaky about it and just put your paws on the table as opposed to it. I would like to suggest an option based in cats' psychology, something that I feel like I have a more understanding of. based in cats' psychology, something that I feel like I have. You're understanding of them. What if I, as one of the taller dogs,
Starting point is 00:17:12 use my tail as a toy to distract cutie pie? To get cutie pie to come to us, rather than us to jump onto the table full of breakables. You certainly can try and do that. I never heard it. We're going with guys. Never heard a cake described as breakable before, but I guess it is. It's motion.
Starting point is 00:17:34 Yes. You can leave it out in the rain. Well, you can't leave it out in the rain. I mean, you can. I mean, you can't be rough. You might as well never try that recipe again. If you spend so long to make it, now it's in the rain. I mean, that's a problem when he's long over.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Problem with that is that you didn't save the recipe. I don't understand what the rain is under the recipe. No, I always assumed that it was such a bad memory that you just, well, through the recipe away, you know what? I don't even want to be reminded of that time when some asshole left my cake in the rain, I don't get, I didn't get to, no one got to eat it. And that's, that, I mean, in my head, the recipe was caught in the same rain storm that got the cake and the, uh, ink on the recipe all dissolved. Yeah. So it's a ruined cake and a sheet of white paper.
Starting point is 00:18:20 At least some wedding guests didn't dive through the cake like in the November rain video. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like, we don't want to rent the cake yet until, until slash can. Or is it excellent? Yeah. It's so low. Yeah. Yeah. What do you do? Let's do a lucky bone watchers. We're going to do lucky's plan. Okay. Yeah. Okay. What do you roll? And we're lucky. I roll three dice. Is that the base thing? The base is two dice. Two dice. I'm going to add my good boy point to this. Yeah, you've been a good boy. I think that's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:18:50 Let's see what I got. I have one six. Oh man, OK, so describe what happens. So I like put my tail over the edge of the table, like one of those toys, like like a fishing rod cat toy, and I puff up the end of it, and I like it. How did you like it? Do you like it?
Starting point is 00:19:15 Do you inflate it into your tail? Like it is a fishing rod? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to, yeah. Yeah, I cast my tail onto there. And then like end of my tail the fur, you know, like it's like it's walking onto the table But my hair's a ductive way. Waving again. What? God, it's all hands on its hips.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Yeah. And cutie pie can't resist that. Cutie pie runs over and. Cutie pie, yeah, adjusts her, I don't know, bow tie. Mm-hmm. She comes over and I mean, I don't know if I'm overstepping my bounds that you described this, but I imagine her chomping on it and me, you know, like, you know, stifling a cry out, there's, you know, like silent tears running down my dog face as I lift her off the table, her, her things
Starting point is 00:20:15 that might tell. And then present, yeah, then present a QD pie hanging from your tail, like a fish on a lure, two or two companions. Exactly. That's perfect. And you know what? For all your trouble, you earn another good boy point. Oh, wow. Okay. What are you guys doing? What's the plan? I'm grabbing QD Pie by the name of her neck and just holding her in my mouth. Okay. For the foreseeable future. I'll tell you that. Sure. Oh, man. It's going to be so funny when she swaps that out with something
Starting point is 00:20:44 else stuck in your neck. Yeah. When you go, it's gonna be so funny when she swaps that out with something else. Stuck in your back. Yeah, when you realize you're holding a rat with a little hat in your in your mouth. I just my own tail. I'm just bleeding out. Yeah. Okay. So what's the plan here guys? You know where the pot of chili is? You don't have a way to carry it yet. I again reiterate, I did a great job with this wedding cake. Everybody loved it. I'm saying, Mr. Gregg, let's, yeah, let's go find maybe the farmer's daughter is actually reconsidering and we need to bring the two together to remember what they love about each other. Maybe Lizzie may, maybe the youngest daughter, Lizzie May, can't quite get her overalls buttoned up
Starting point is 00:21:27 for the wedding. Maybe she needs our help to do it. Maybe a farmer's best straw hat needs to be re-strawed. Whatever it is. How would we do when we have those things? Dancer, how are we going to do? I mean, let's hypothesize that any of those things are happening, that how would we do any of those things?
Starting point is 00:21:44 You were, again, you're through your any of those things? You were, again. Then you were steering your voice across the roof. You were castigating me for the idea of magic bow ties. All my only idea was to cute ourselves up so we could attract people to give us chilly. And that's suddenly, we're marriage therapists. We're dressers and tailors. We have the dashers.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Guys, the thing I heard, the thing I heard about doings. We're dogs, and well, it's thing I heard about bruiser, were dogs. Well, it's all will ever be. We're dogs. And I start crying. Let me tell you what dogs do. And I say this very gently, and I put my paw on scraps of shoulders. I know all about dog do, Dancer.
Starting point is 00:22:16 I know all about it. Let me tell you what dogs do do. But also, what I heard about bruiser was that the reason he's dead is that he as he was dying brought together the farmers oldest daughter and her patrols. It was their love. And as a reward on his deathbed, he received one final mouthful of chili to take to heaven with him.
Starting point is 00:22:46 And a good boy point. I don't, again, this is a, no one can tell this story in a hole because it can't always interrupt the story halfway. So no one truly knows. Speaking of truth, I'm just thinking of it. I'm just thinking of it. She's, again, my mouth, of course, I look down and I see,
Starting point is 00:23:04 and I see that I'm holding a sign that says, cutie pie. Yeah, yeah. I wanna stay out to lunch. Yeah, it says, I owe you one cutie pie. No, you still have cutie pie, although you do, you do look out the window and you can see Tabitha sitting on the window sill outside,
Starting point is 00:23:24 running a file across her her claws and staring at you guys. I mean that would make them more blunt right which is good. Oh she's like sharpening. Yeah, you know she's got like a fucking wetstone. Yeah, she's got a barber strap. She's like, yeah, she's pretty close. That makes sense. Very old fashioned. Well, Manolo, we have a show to promote. It's called Back to Game Show. It's a family-friendly podcast where listeners submit games
Starting point is 00:23:59 and we play them with collars from around the world. Oh, sounds good. New episodes happen every other Wednesday on maximumfund.org. It's a fast and loose oasis of absurd innocence and naivete. Are you writing a poem? No, it's just saying things from my memory. And it's a nice break from reality. Is that a real idea to say that?
Starting point is 00:24:26 I don't know, it sounds bad. It comes with a 100% happiness guarantee. It does not. Come for the game and stay for the chaos. I'm Judge John Hodgman. And I'm Bail of Jesse Thornt. 10 years ago, I came on Jordan Jesse Go and judged my first dispute. Is Chile a soup?
Starting point is 00:24:45 It's a stew, obviously. The judge has dispensed a decade of justice. He's the one person wise enough to answer the really important questions. Like should you hire a mime to perform at your own funeral? After they cry, I want them to laugh. Do you really need a tank full of jellyfish in your den? They smell like living creatures decaying. Only if they are decaying.
Starting point is 00:25:10 Yeah, which they will be. Real people, real justice, real comedy. Winner of the Webby Award for Best Comedy Podcast. The Judge John Hodgman podcast every Wednesday on MaximumFun.org. The flop house this week is sponsored in part by Storyblocks. Storyblocks makes it possible for creators to keep up the growing demands for modern video content.
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Starting point is 00:27:14 And now let's go back to the show. So as you are making your plans, you can hear outside that the guests are beginning to arrive. You can see Widow stove kettle arrive and with her her companion buttercup wearing a matching outfit and the pressure is on. So what are you guys gonna do? Okay, here's something. Now again, yeah. I reiterate, tell me the story.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Tell me the legend of Bruce or again. Some kind of spectacular simulated saving in not only in front of the wedding, but also buttercup would go a long way towards us getting that four-way date that we've all been assuming is gonna happen. I heard that the reason bruiser got chilly is that the farmer realized it was heretical
Starting point is 00:28:17 to hand out good boy points to dogs. That's almost certainly not what happens. That's almost certainly not the case. No, I don't even believe you heard that. No, how was the farmer aware of good boy? He heard it in a dream. Yeah, that's ridiculous. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:36 So I mean, another option is during the wedding, I'll tell you where everyone's going to be watching the wedding. No one's going to be watching this chilly. So that might be the time for us to sneak in and drink our fill. And then I guess maybe like a dip a cup or a bowl into it. Although it's possible that they'll then be getting the chili ready for prep during that time. It depends on how good the kid res are, if there are any.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Why don't we wait until the chili is set on the table and then drill a hole through the bottom of the table through the chili pot? That'll have the added butter. What are we gonna do that with? Well, I, you know, there's, I mean, this is, it's an old farm.
Starting point is 00:29:14 It's gotta be some sort of rustic implement here that we can use. There's probably a whole chunk. There's some kind of hand crank drill. Yeah, it's coming down into the root cell. That's the point of it. That's the whole root cell. It seems like a real, real wild goose chase. It's a real snipe hunt to go down into the root cell. Maybe you can find what you get about the root cell. It seems like a real, real wild goose chase.
Starting point is 00:29:27 It's a real snipe hunt to go down the root cell for a hand-drawn drill. I think we're maybe back in the back in the, back in the barn. There might have been a hand-cranked drill. Maybe we get a hide in the root cell. And if there happens to be a hand-cranked drill there, we can use it. Are we hiding the root cell seller for a fly and tell the coast is clear for the chili. So I think maybe I saw the beginning of dancers plan, which was to wait for when the chili is set out on the table to cool.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Since true, if we go for it now, we're just going to get it. We're going to burn our mouths with a mouthful of hot chili. Yeah. And I don't not to mention the kitchen will always be full. Yeah. And not and also like kitchen will always be full. Yeah. And also like, I don't want to burn my tongue, that's what I sweat through. So let's, I want to leave that on a burnt. Right. So maybe, yeah, well, let's keep an eye on cutie pie
Starting point is 00:30:13 and we'll just kind of hang around the area, hide a hidden, where the, where the chili is going to be served. Oh, no. Oh, it's cutie pie already on our way somewhere. I'm gutter on the neighborhood. No, you, you have a little doll in the shape of a cutie pie in here. No, a little corn doll. I knew she doesn't squeak like this.
Starting point is 00:30:33 You don't know where a cutie pie is, but the door to the kitchen is slowly closing. So, somebody must have just gone inside the kitchen. Should we go into the kitchen guys? Delivered, yeah, let's run into the kitchen, okay, but we can't we gotta do it in a way that well We can't run if they're gonna see us running right is there a way we can kind of like slink in yeah Who's gonna be who's gonna lead the sneak attack attempt now? I have I again? I have scamper But I also have just I have distract and can't stay mad at you I could distract people while one of you
Starting point is 00:31:06 goes into the kitchen to try to find cutie pie. Uh-huh. How are you going to perform this distract? Okay, so as a terrier, I am adorable when I get up on my hind legs and kind of spin around in little hops. Mm-hmm. And I also have learned how to bow afterwards.
Starting point is 00:31:24 Oh, wow. Which is high difficulty for a dog, for a human very easy, but for a dog not so much. So I'm going to, so what I'll do is I'll go like, hey, hey, hey, hey! And then people will look at me and then I'll be just bouncing, like, hopping up and down on my back legs and spinning around
Starting point is 00:31:39 and just being, you know, so cute that people love the show. And one of you guys can go in and catch cut the show. And one of you guys can, uh, can go in and, and catch cutie pie or both of you. That maybe both of you go in. What I will say is it, it looks like the, the, the folks that are in like this front part of the house are pretty focused on getting ready to go out and, uh, for the, the procession and they're also paying attention to the people that arrive. So you might be able to sneak by pretty easily. So maybe we should just go in the kitchen. We should you should do that in the kitchen so that people working in the kitchen. Don't see us. Okay, so that might be a good idea. Okay, so let's go into the kitchen and then as soon as we're through that door, I'll go
Starting point is 00:32:20 and then I'll and then Yeah, and I'll do some of my impressions. Oh, a bark bark bark that's a story. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So promise, but not delivered until now. Yeah, until the energy Rob's has a dog to yeah, bark, see, yeah, bark, bark, bark, yeah. And so, uh, it it's pretty old depression.
Starting point is 00:32:46 I mean, the modern day stars do not have distinctive voices, Dan, or Dan, Dan, uh, Lew, lucky, name one modern star that has a distinctive voice. Name one, I dare you. What's the most recent Christopher Walken, uh, a, a bark, a bark, bark. There's none. There's not name. Does George Clooney or Brad Pitt have a distinctive voice? No. Does, uh. Does Timothy Shalvey has a distinctive voice? No. I guess maybe. Where about Andrew Garfield? He's got that British accent. British accent is not distinctive.
Starting point is 00:33:14 That's like half the extra. I mean, maybe Tom Holland is a little distinctive and it's like bark. Bark bark. If I don't say Tom Holland, you don't know that it's Tom Holland. It just sounds like some kid that is kind of like has a wavy voice. So again, I got to go with the old references because the new ones just know, just like people are like, do Shaolin Woodley? Do her and I'm like, I don't know how to do that. There's nothing distinctive, right? So anyway, so that's, but that's not Elliot's being this.
Starting point is 00:33:43 This is scraps saying this. That's how scraps feels about it. Yeah. So, uh, okay. Elliott's a huge fan of Shaline Woodley and their distinctive voice. I find it very distinctive. I find it very distinctive. Um, people like, uh, do, do a, do a JLo impression.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Okay, I don't know. A lady's voice. Anyway, so that's what scraps is saying. So we go into the room. Okay, we're gonna sneak in there and, and. And then, and we all go in there. So are we in the kitchen already? Yeah, you need to give me a die roll for your distraction. Okay, now it's, and I'm doing the dance,
Starting point is 00:34:14 because he was distracting, it's a 4D6 roll. Oh wow, that's pretty good. Yeah, that's just natural distract. Yeah. Again, a six and a three and two two. Yeah, so there's a six. Oh yeah, so what is this distraction? What happens while you're distracting them?
Starting point is 00:34:30 So I'm jumping around, I'm hopping on my back legs, I'm bowing, I'm doing my tricks and jokes and japes. What are you guys doing while they're, and they are absorbed in it. They're like, what? This dog should be on the stage, legitimate, the aider, with the very least, the radar row. And that's what they say, called radio. And it doesn't make sense.
Starting point is 00:34:53 You wouldn't be able to see the dog's tricks, but you'd be able to hear the audience reacting to it like, oh. I mean, you know. Oh. At your burden, you know, as a ventriloquist, thrived on the radio for many years. So that's true. That's very supposed, the dog could do it too. So what are you guys doing while they're just like laughing,
Starting point is 00:35:11 nudging each other in the ribs as I do, particularly for any of the rooms? We are eyes are like scanning the room, going out of our head and like just like, like, you can go all over the room. Also, I'm whispering to Lucky, hey, just not of curiosity. And all is traveling and riding the rails. How many hobo murders do
Starting point is 00:35:29 you think scraps is seen? I say 50. I say minimum 50. How many hobo murders a year would that have to be here to be 50, especially? I mean, I mean, I mean, the question of dog years or hobo years would come into play as well. I'm just saying he holds up very well considering all the psychological trauma he's been enduring, you know? So you and then do we see cutie pie? Yeah, you see cutie pie.
Starting point is 00:35:57 I mean, how could you miss her? You're so focused on the test, you know? Cutie pie is plopped down in between the feet of one of the cooks who is currently applauding scraps. And QD Pie is also applauding scraps. Oh, fantastic. I rush up and I grab her by the neck. Okay. And then, and I race out the back of the, of the, of the door of the door. Okay. As you're racing out there like, no dogs in the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:36:30 Yeah, I, I'm, I'm going. Yeah. Yeah. That is your idea for me to leave. Yeah. And yeah, you guys go out and I'll, I'll, the, the I was asked for an encore, but I beg off. Yeah. So you, you slip out the back door of the kitchen, which leads to like a small like hallway,
Starting point is 00:36:52 and there's a stairs that go down to the seller. And then there's a door out the back of the, of the house. I mean, I don't see what it would profit us to go to the seller, but he's been, he's been, he's been, he's just going to sell it. We gotta do it. We gotta love you. Like best case scenario, we can just lock QD pie in there. Yeah. If there's some way to secure a QD pie in the seller in a way that won't leave her dead
Starting point is 00:37:14 when we inevitably forget her for a while. Uh, that would be, yes, so let's go to the seller and see. I know the remote said they don't want to get out to go down the basement, but I think we have to. Mm hmm. Okay. So you run down the, the wooden steps that lead down to the seller. It's nice and cool and a little musty down here. There's, there's shelves with like jars of preserves and tools, woodworking tools.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, Hank, would working tools. Handcrank drill. Is there a handcrank drill? Uh, most likely. But I mean, most likely, yes or no, we're looking for it. Yeah, you find a handcrank drill. You see? I mean, it still doesn't prove that it's a good idea, just that it's slightly feasible. And as you're poking around, you're like backing up and you bump into, at first
Starting point is 00:38:06 you think you bump into like another dog and you're like, oh, excuse me, sir, turns out it's not just a dog. It is the taxidermied body of bruiser. Oh, bruiser. What happened to you? Tell us. I assume we don't play, understand what a taxidermy body is. We think he's frozen by a witch's spell. But your moment of show it causes you to knock a jar of preserves off a shelf, raising the heat by one.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Wait, what? We're all the way to the stage. But you got a hand crank drill. Okay, we got it and we saw. And I'll let you up some of that preserves. How's the like of some of that preserves? It's delicious. It's apple. Oh wow.
Starting point is 00:38:49 So and there's nothing about Bruser that tells us how he got that chili, right? It's just his body. Is it like written on a plaque somewhere below this taxidermy body? Read the words. Detailing the legend of bruiser. For on this day, in the year of our most, there's a pretty lengthy plaque, but it's been eroded from time. Oh, man, that's probably exactly the opposite of what the plaque said. Yeah, I mean, they shouldn't have made the plaque out of cheese.
Starting point is 00:39:22 That was the problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's like a down here, there's like one of those giant wheels of cheese. It's great. What a great basement. Oh, so should we, so is there anything that we could use to restrain or contain cutie pie? Is there anything we see that we could like a cage we could put her in or a box that we could, we could nail her into the right.
Starting point is 00:39:44 All the job be on the side to just mail her off. we could put her in or a box that we could we could nail her into the right job beyond the side to just mail her off. There's some canning supplies. There's no, we're not putting it. No, we can't put it in a jar. No, we get those are the jar. Yeah, those are airtight jars. It's the point of preserves.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Well, poke arrows in that. How are we going to poke holes in a jar? Oh, we don't have claws. Do I? There's like buckets. No, I mean, we can put her upside down in a jar. Oh, we don't have claws. There's like buckets. No, I mean, we could put our upside down in a bucket. I said, I said, there's chains and rope down here as well, right? Oh, yeah. I mean, we could put her like a turner into like a little Jacob Marley ghost. Yeah. Yeah. Do some kind of man in the hour and mass thing with her. Just
Starting point is 00:40:23 chain her up with the bucket over ahead, I guess slowly forget her identity until she just becomes the prisoner. Yeah. What do you guys, what do you do? I was here to think if we have that hand crank, I think we should go up there and try and just wait and
Starting point is 00:40:42 then Jill a whole match and that day. But enough to totally fail. But I mean, we should totally, we got to take the hand crank at this point. We've been, we've been, we've been teasing it so long. This is check offs. I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to, also what I want to do. I want to, I want to wrap, uh, um, QD pie in chains. Just so we hear a lot of rattling whenever she goes.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Yeah. Surprise. I mean, we've heard the story of belling the cat. Yes, we're just chaining up the cat. It also weigh her down a little bit. Yeah, she's, yeah, there's like a giant padlock in the chains. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm so great. Is there a way guys are creating a monster? She's going to fucking hair. It seems like she's going to be having so much more trouble dragging chains. Well, but if we like, you know, locker to a beam or something, now, you know, like normally, again, like, I'm putting in an awkward situation because I feel, I feel for cats, but this is a cartoon cat. We're putting cartoon chains around this cat and, you know, like wrapping her up and putting a big comical
Starting point is 00:41:45 lock on it. Yeah, it's just a padlock. Yeah. We've even padlocked. Why don't you just padlock her leash to one of our leash collar to one of our car. That seems also not worse idea. Well, then we can have her a little bit. I mean, if we can, we'll know she's not going.
Starting point is 00:42:03 If we can padlock air to anything, let's padlock her to like something that will keep her stationary. Yeah, so that we can be not have to worry about her. So I think, I mean, inevitably she will escape. That's just the nature of the universe that we live in. Yeah. But I think you're minimized damage. Yeah, but at least maybe it'll buy us some time as she is. Who do you have these chains?
Starting point is 00:42:23 It's inevitable, but the fact that you struggle against it shows that you have exactly exactly. Yeah, like a town. Yeah, death comes for us all and cutie pie also comes for us all eventually. Yeah, so let's let's chain her to something, but in a way that is humane. All right, let's chain her there. Well, there's like an old stow like an old stow down there. Well, we change it. Yeah, we can like chain her to the leg of the st, not in the stove. I don't want to chain her up in the stove, but yeah, yeah. That's a little bit too much like that, that different strokes where the kid gets stuck
Starting point is 00:42:52 in the refrigerator. Yeah, that's horrifying. Yeah, okay. So, don't plan on those kids. You do it. Cutie pies. Cutie pies looking at you like, with the biggest, softest, sweetest, weddest eyes. Okay. So what do you like with the biggest softest, sweetest, wettest eyes?
Starting point is 00:43:05 Okay. So what do you guys do? And then we say, and we say that ought to keep her. And she turns the camera go, he don't know me very well. So okay. Let's run up to the, let's go find out where that chili pot is. We'll hold some chili. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:23 Well, so you, you poke your head into the kitchen and you see that the, that the, the kitchen is not completely empty, but it's cleared out quite a bit because the ceremony is going on. You can hear the band pick up and the chili has been set on the counter by the window to cool a little bit. Okay. It seems like the perfect time for us to steal some chili, guys. So there's just one, there's just the one head cook who is whistling to herself as she tighties up the kitchen
Starting point is 00:43:57 after the the whirlwind of activity. Now I would distract her, but she's seen my show. Mm-hmm. Oh, see, this is why you shut your ward on this thing. Now, what would you do if she did her once? Yeah. You can't distract her or something. All we can do now is use that hand-crank drill
Starting point is 00:44:12 to drill through her. She at least tends to demobilize her. So she can't chase after us. That's the only option. You know what? But what if that wasn't the only option? Let's blues-die for a moment. There was something else we could do.
Starting point is 00:44:23 I've already done it. I've already drilled through all your sessions. I've permanently mutilated this poor woman. You put on a chalkboard and you guys are writing down ideas. And there's no bad ones right now. I mean, you know what? I'm going to write up their Achilles tendon drill. We're not going to do it, but I'm putting it up there. This is a show of good faith and teamwork. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is this counter, like, windowsill adjacent? Could we access it by the windowsill? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Is it cooling on the windowsill? Or is it cooling just next to the window? Next to the window. Next window, OK. So what if, and how high up is the window? Is it possible that we could reach it by either one of us going up there or standing on each other's backs? Well, it's on the chili pot is on the counter, which is, you know, like counter height, and then there's
Starting point is 00:45:11 it's by the window, which is slightly higher up. Or you could also access it by going outside the building and climbing up the wall or a drain pipe or using smells to lift you up. I mean the smells did lift us up before but that really works with hot chili that's still cooking I guess. Are we able to like me stand on Lucky and then scrap stands on me to be the height of the windowsill? Absolutely. Yeah. Then we'll let's do that. What do we do that?
Starting point is 00:45:42 What do we do? Drill ourselves a chili hole from the outside. You see? I mean, chili hole into what? I was thinking, scraps are just, yeah. I thought scraps were just pulled up, we just lift up the window. Oh, yeah, we can also just grab the big pot. So you're gonna, so you create a ladder with your bodies
Starting point is 00:45:59 and then somebody drills a hole inside the chili pot. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Are we actually drilling a hole in the chili pot or how heavy is the pot? How big and how heavy is it? It's a big metal pot that would all three of you could carry it, but there is a very good chance
Starting point is 00:46:15 you're gonna drop this hot pot of chili on somebody. Yeah. Because there's only two handles, and you would need all three of you to carry. Yeah, I think we should try that Yeah, I think we should try. I mean, I don't see how we don't try it. I'm silly, whole. Wait, the silly hole is what you're still
Starting point is 00:46:29 referring to talking about. How? Okay. I wasn't in for that, but now it seems like the silly hole is the only obvious. I mean, just, I don't, because the thing is that we have a drill. Sure, this is a metal pot. We're dogs that are handling a tool that is, we're not familiar with.
Starting point is 00:46:43 This is a tool that even for a trade unit, we hired to drill through a pot. I think you're forgetting the cartoon nature of our world. Well, then why don't we just make a hole, slap it on the pot, let the gillian pour out. Because they're no boxes of acme holes like. If only they were in the basement. I wish there were so. So who's on top handling the the crank drill? Scratch. I mean, there's no I got to be on top. I'm the small one. Okay, so you you drill a hole on the side of the chili, but and then all of a sudden, Chili squirts out the hole under the floor. What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:47:22 You're with your finger to You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. What do you do? I don't like talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that.
Starting point is 00:47:32 You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. What do you do? I don't like talking about that.
Starting point is 00:47:40 You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. You're talking about that. it out or is it like you just like on the side of the pot right but I thought it was on the side facing the window rather than the side facing the floor so it shoots out the window okay I mean that's yeah that's fine yeah some kind of magic drill that creates a hole on the other side of the object that I'm applying it to okay so you guys are outside of the the I'm under that thing like it's a fountain you know just like a chili and we're just we're just yeah that's what we're doing
Starting point is 00:48:04 just go okay we're grabbing as much chili as, yeah, that's what we're doing. We're just going to grab it as much chili as it flies to the air. And we got to get buttercup over here, right? I mean, that's okay. Yeah. Now, because at this point, we're full. And you mean, you mean, we're also very farty at this time, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Okay, so you're going to have to go try and get buttercup, just in the middle of the ceremony to come over and get some of this chili. Yes. Yes,, scraps you got to hold your thumb over the chili. I don't have a thumb. I'm a dog, but I'll put my tail in it. Okay, you got to put your, you got to put your chili on with your tail. Keep in mind the pressure on the pot is enormous. I know this pot held this chili normally just fine, but once I plug it with my tail for some reason the pressure is going to build up in this fine. Okay, so the heat has gone up slightly. That represents the fact that the chili pot has been breached. Scraps, tails, plugging the hole in the pot. And from the, it started the tips at the
Starting point is 00:49:01 bottom of your feet, but is now going up, moving slowly up your head, your body is turning entirely red. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot of stuff. It's really, yeah. I'm really, I'm really feeling. So, this is heat more way than it was the one, yeah. So, you are doing that. Who is going to go get buttercup to come over
Starting point is 00:49:16 and have some of this chili? What? I feel like I, as the best looking dog, I should probably go on over to buttercup and help her and then commit to to come over Okay, you go you go running around you go running around the house. I take off towards the ceremony I run up to buttercup Who I assume where is she in the in the audience? She is she is she's more in the middle next to Widow stove kettle Wow,. Okay. Is this winning ceremony
Starting point is 00:49:47 just like any pet can just be there? No, but she's a companion dog. I mean, since the widow lost her husband, she, she's put a lot of her emotional energy into the push. She's not. She has a vest. Yeah. This is not. Yeah. If Delta won't allow her on, I don't consider this a true companion. If they, if they, if they went anywhere further than the center of town just to the round the cracker ball, she would allow her on, I don't consider this a true companion. Yeah. All the will, all the same. If they, if they went anywhere further than the center of town just to the round the cracker ball, she would bring her on a plane with her. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:11 So, okay. Okay. So I run up as close to, as close to Earshot as to Buttercup was like, get up being out of strusive. And I whisper buttercup. Wait. Oh, wait, how do I, how do I get, oh, wait, they can't understand me. I'll say buttercup. Wait, how do I get, oh, they can't understand me. I'll say buttercup, we've got a farmer and
Starting point is 00:50:30 the calisers chilly around back. When you've got to hurry, if for a very due to expense that it'd be too complex to explain to you right now, it will kill scraps. If you don't come with me right now to get the chili. And then it cuts to me. And I turn the camera go, he ain't lying, folks. And then it cuts back to dance to a dancer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Okay. I'm going to need a role to represent you sneaking in, convincing her and sneaker back. Do you have a trait that would be good for this? I mean, my stubbornness, I probably figures in here. You're lying on stubbornness. But I guess show dog did too. I'm also a scrapper, you know, I know that probably most of you have a little weird that. But I think, I think in this case, you're going to be rolling two dice. And if you want to spend a good boy point, you can.
Starting point is 00:51:18 I absolutely do. I mean, just so close. We're so close today. We're so close today. To lead us. Okay. Yeah. Oh boy. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Sorry. I lost the, I lost the tab. I lost my, I lost the tab because my Chrome tab right now is top actors.
Starting point is 00:51:38 I was looking desperately for an actor who's, I'm a younger actor. But it's a different voice. Try, spend all night looking. Email me tomorrow. You won't find one. How young is emo Phillips? The youngest actor on this list of top actors is Robert Downey. Yeah. And Robert Downey's voice is still not that distinctive. I mean, his his his person that persona is.
Starting point is 00:51:59 Yeah, emo Phillips. Yeah. I don't think he's going to be any. He's not in Forbes is 30 under 30. I'll tell you that. All right, two virtual, two dice. Yep, plus one, so three dice because you spate your good boy point. Three dice, that's right.
Starting point is 00:52:13 Three dice, he's my good boy point, come on baby. Two sixes. Oh man. Okay, so Buttercup goes running with you. Do you want to give us a description of what this looks like? Yeah, me, a gorgeous Siberian husky pure bed, running through what is now the, you know, the sun, dappled golden hour behind me,
Starting point is 00:52:36 this beautiful, what Buttercup is what now? Oh, she's a poodle. Oh, this beautiful poodle locks dangling in the breeze She's Yeah, baby, I think of those little like you know bouncy curls It's very We run around and as we're you know as we're running like in slow motion around in the farm it cuts back and forth to scraps whose the right heat line is just inching up his body. Are we going to get there in time? Are we going to get there in time? We're running, we're running,
Starting point is 00:53:15 we get there right in time. I assume just as scraps his body is propelled out of the in time for a huge gust of chili. It's right, huge, too much chili to go straight into buttercups open mouth. Oh, wow. You guys did it. And you saved the day. The wedding went off without a hitch.
Starting point is 00:53:37 You didn't ruin too much of the chili. And you kept the heat down pretty well. You know, I think you guys are all good boys. So you all get a good boy. Oh, thanks. So I never wanted to hear this successful adventure. I think these are only successful adventure when it comes down to it. I 100% think you're right.
Starting point is 00:53:58 So thank you so much everybody for tuning in. Thank you for giving me an excuse to run my friends through a silly adventure. Again, if you enjoyed this for some reason and you'd like more, there's a couple episodes in the adventure zone feed where we play Dungeons & Dragons and then in our bonus feed, there's a ton of material for max fun supporters where I that make these guys play through these weird boiled detective cthulhu stories with aliens and stuff. And I think they're a lot of fun. I want to thank Alex Smith for editing this episode and the previous episode and putting in music and
Starting point is 00:54:35 sound effects and stuff. And I have been steward Wellington. I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Ellie Kaelin. And I'm Jubin Parang. Bye! ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ
Starting point is 00:55:12 ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ I'm not a good boy, I'm a good boy I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy
Starting point is 00:55:28 I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy
Starting point is 00:55:44 I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy I'm not a good boy, I'm not a good boy When it's your turn, get some chili, take for the cup of alcohol But don't disrupt the day's events Don't ruin the wedding plans There are dangerous certain deaths I should have faced you on your quest But don't worry the hog's bottom three I ain't again a bowl of chili, flasks tens Everybody's favorite true in the flasks dance Everybody's favorite crew in the flasks dance Protect cutie pine top to stew To to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to Boy, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, steal, Thanks for watching!

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