The Flop House - FH Mini 54 - Happy Belated Mother's Day
Episode Date: May 14, 2022Elliott surprises Dan and Stu with a series of impromptu debate prompts, forcing his co-hosts to argue for the cinema mothers they'd most like to have as moms. ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to the flop house.
My name is Elliot Kaelin and I'm joined tonight.
It's nighttime when we're doing this and it's daytime where you are possibly look at the
window.
Night has fallen just through the power of my voice.
Deal with it.
But I'm joined tonight by Dan McCoy, who's, you know, you could have just not made any
prediction about the time of day.
And Stuart Wellington, and it's nighttime where I'm at, too.
Yes, true.
It's nighttime where all three of us are at currently.
And it's now nighttime where you, the listener, are close your eyes unless you're driving.
And imagine that it is a deep dark night, the witching hour, when Spooks and Spirits and ghouls and ghosts
come out of the graveyard,
because it's time to celebrate a belated Mother's Day.
Hello.
No.
That's right, everybody.
It was Mother's Day a week ago,
and we're gonna be doing some mom talk about
moms at the movies.
But first Dan, why don't we have a mom fun drive?
I'm sorry, Max Fun Drive update. How mom fun drive? I'm sorry, Max Fun Drive
update. How did things go? A week ago when Max Fun Drive ended and where we are in terms
of rewards for our listeners. You know what? It went really well. It went really well.
We smashed the first goal. Like we were the phantom smash an evil yeah
and he's a
i'm sorry dan can you go back and say we slammed the first
rewealed
and i think you can you plan a letter to billy zane to apologize
i'll do that dear mister zane i take pan and hand
to apologize for miss remembering the slogan to your hit film the phantom
but uh... you know so we're gonna be sending out'll be, it'll be to a total of 30 listeners
who were new upgrading boosting this time around.
We'll get those names from people.
And, you know, people at the max font.
As opposed to going to a cave and asking a bear for the names.
Where we get asked to have it.
As opposed to predict. You know. Here, let for the names. We're gonna ask seven to predict.
Yeah.
Here, let me look into my scrying pool, Dan, and hopefully the spirits of the waters will
give us the names.
We're gonna find those names, and we're going to use randomizer to pick 30 people, 10
of whom will get signed copies of Eliot's maniac of New York comic, Tin from Stu. I believe there was a swag of
some kind. It was promised swag will be delivered. And then for me, I will.
The essence swag stands for Stuart and the W stands for Wellington. I will get in context.
Stuart Wellington audience gifts swag. Yeah, I will get in contact with those members and be like,
hey, what favorite movies do you want me to draw something from?
So we probably probably gonna want to get drawings of the pregnancy scene inside the head.
There's no
They all picked cheeky for some reason
Do it. I but anyway, um, so we also
You know what we felt we felt just just a tiny bit short of the country bears,
but it was within, it was 61 short.
We're just going to do it, guys.
We're not going to be dicks about.
We came so close.
We're going to do the country bears commentary. If I learned anything from being a parent it's that you set limits and then you allow your children to blast through those limits and you reward them anyway
Yeah, let's do it. You know, whatever. It's been a very
Tough several years the fact that we did as well in this drive
Thank you so much during a difficult time. Like I just, you know,
yeah, thank you for, thank you for being your friend. Travel down the road and back again. And thank
you for also the pledges and to return to say you're welcome and thank you. We will
to our end listeners. We're going to do this country bears commentary. and thank you, we will. What? To our
We're gonna do this country bears commentary.
It may not be right off.
We haven't figured out when we're gonna schedule it, but before the end of this.
It's not gonna be for a little while.
Before the end of this calendar year after this pledge drive, we will do the country bears.
Hey, I just want to jump in and apologize.
If you guys are, you, for all you that are watching at home, and if I look, uh, if I
look a little confused, let's be guess my cat meatball has the zoomies right now. And it is
adorable, uh, because he chirps while he's doing it, like a little bird, uh, but he's not
accomplishing much like where, where is he gonna get it? Oh. Well, to put your mind in ease, there's no one watching.
But I first saw.
What did I first saw?
Well, you are wearing a wet appears to be maybe a velvet sort
of smoking jacket with a robe.
Less underneath it.
No, it's a robe.
OK, it's a robe in the smoking jacket style.
Let us be clear to, I am not doing a bit right now. No, no, it's a row. Okay, it's a robe in the soapy jacket style. Let us be clear to, I'm not doing a bit right.
Yeah, I'm not doing a bit right.
No, so it's showing, it's big, you have nerve vibes.
Yeah, so it's like a room robe with a black.
Yeah, respectfully, you have nerve, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, before we get off the max fund drive entirely,
I also want to say thank you everybody.
And I will say one of the best things
about this year's max fund drive was, I heard a lot from listeners who in the past didn't feel like they
had the means to support us. And now we're like, I got a job where I can pledge. And that was the
best part of it was gearing about all these listeners who are feeling more financially secure
and have employment that they're happy about. And that was a wonderful, not predicted
inside benefit of Max's life.
No, that is a very nice message
that we sort of get inadvertently
as part of the way things are set up.
It's like, oh yeah, great.
Like, I'm glad that so many people seem to like,
I don't know, things are looking up.
I hope for folks.
Yeah, I mean, hopefully, I mean,
what it also tells me is we have to cultivate
more of a billionaire audience.
So Elon, if you're listening, well, I still don't like you.
Yeah, put the phone down.
We should stop it.
They can start listening.
Listen to the else.
And then I could, I could trick them into walking into this guillotine I have set up.
Oh, God, what?
I mean, now you're threatening a public figure.
Billionaires.
I don't know that legally it's not.
I'm not threatening anything.
I've just set up a guillotine.
Uh-huh.
He's right.
Legally you can chop the head off a billionaire.
It's in the legal code.
Yeah.
Thomas Jackson put it in there.
As long as you don't do it yourself, you just set up the guillotine and they stumble into
it like some kind of French farce that's a French revolution farce.
Inspector Clousseau sort of figure.
What if they did a bedroom door slamming French farce
but it's set through in the French revolution
so instead of door slams it's a guillotine chopping people.
People are just kind of jumping into the wrong guillotine
and running out.
Yeah, people just leave a room and go into a guillotine, I guess.
I guess you lose the cast over the boy.
Yeah, it sounds like real fun.
You need a very large cast for something like that.
It kind of sounds like the house from 13 ghosts.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Elliot, remember 13 ghosts?
Yeah, I do remember 13 ghosts.
That all happened without F.M.A. Abrams' houses made out of glass.
Yeah.
And they had like, right?
They're all the glass.
Now is that what the glass house the movie
is about? Is it about? Yes. Marie Abraham's house. And Lili Sobiuski has to go live there.
And then. No, it's cars guard with F. Marie Abraham. Yeah.
So guys, have you ever have you ever played the game? Fuck Mary Abraham? No, it's when
you get three names. And you just say who you're
gonna have? Who are you gonna marry and who are you gonna Abraham? Which in this case is
kill. It's well, it's pretend that you're gonna kill. But then God says at the end, no, it's
fine. God says, like, you don't have to do it. You're saying it's fine. It's fine. You
can do a country bear the rest of your life. Your relationship with your child has been ruined.
Yeah.
Any sense of trust has gone.
I mean, like, you have to back in Biblical times,
dads and sons didn't have good relationships.
OK, as opposed to now, we're the great.
So we've had a lot of fun tonight.
We've talked about a lot of great things.
And it's time to get to the serious part of the episode.
OK, guys, I'm behind at the wheel this time. And it's not to get to the serious part of the episode. Okay, guys, I'm behind at the wheel this time.
And it's not a car wheel, we're on a ship.
So it thinks we're gonna get a little rocky
and you might get a little seasick.
Because we're gonna play a little game tonight
that I don't think you're going to enjoy very much.
But maybe we'll, I don't know.
A lot of times we've done games where we have to identify things
or we have to guess titles for things or whether Eric Roberts is in a movie or not.
I wanted to indulge a different part of your brain than just a wrote trivia memory.
And I'm going to bring us to a debating game.
That's right, you two are about to engage in a series of debates on the subject of moms.
That's right, it's everyone's favorite debating game,
Man's Plan, the debating game for white sys head upper class nerds.
No.
It's a special mother's day mom versus mom addition.
So here's how it goes.
You two will be debating each other in a series of rounds,
choosing between two moms from the movies,
you're going to debate which mom is the better mom,
which why should I choose that mom is my mom?
And so there's gonna be a number of categories.
You're gonna take turns being the one who chooses first,
which mom you're gonna argue the case of,
you're gonna do this classic debating style.
The first who chooses will get one minute
for your opening statement,
your opponent will get one minute for his rebuttal,
and then the person who chose will get 30 seconds
for their counter-rebuttal. I may also let the clock run longer if I feel like it or if I forget how much time
has gone by. Perfect. And points are going to be awarded by me on a painstakingly arbitrary manner.
So don't worry, this is this is a high level of forensics and just random choice. So let's begin with the first round of this mom versus mom edition of Man's Play in the
Debating Game for Whites His Head Upper Class nerds.
So, okay, this is the first round.
Dan, you get to choose which sides you're taking first because I imagine you are more nervous
than Stuart.
This first round is supportive single suburban moms in the movies.
Who would you like to argue the case of there being a better mom? Patricia Arquette in Boyhood,
that's right, the woman who spent over a decade of her life having to hang out with Richard
Link Letter for weekends at a time to be in a movie about a kid who to be honest is not
that special a kid. Or would you rather argue the case of D Wallace, who has to put up with
a wrinkly alien hiding in her child's bedroom closet, which is our view in favor of the
mom and boyhood or the mom and ET.
I'm going to go with D Wallace, Elliot.
Okay.
Could have seen that coming.
So Stuart, you'll be arguing the case of Patricia Arquette and Boyhood, Academy Award-winning
performance, the movie, of course, lost Best Picture to Birdman.
Perhaps the second most
forgotten best picture winner of the last 20 years. The first most forgotten best picture
winner of the last 20 years, of course, the artist, a movie I routinely forget existed.
It won best picture. All right. So Dan, that's not another, let's go. Your minute starts now. Tell me,
why is D Wallace the better mom and E.T. and go? You know, there's an extraterrestrial in her home, and she doesn't react with sort of
the panic of a woman who wonders, maybe this has brought interdimensional other worldly
viruses, like diseases into my house. Instead, she's worried only for the safety of her children
and for that lovable scam, ET. And this may be extra textural, but of course,
it's okay. Also's ET. Yeah.
And the extra textural. He's the extra textural, extra terrestrial. Yeah.
Also did a bang up job protecting her son from that rabid,
St. Bernard, not so much of the book.
And the book shouldn't do so well,
but you know what, that book character was not de-wallis.
Name the book of E.T. you're saying?
Yeah, the book of E.T. or in Ku-Joh, did they say?
Oh, sorry, Dan, you said the word kujo just
as the minute ran out so I can't give you points for that part as far as I know you think that the
book of ET had an angry dog in it so so you'll get your points for that stew it's your turn you
have one minute to tell me why Patricia Arquette in boyhood is the better mom and go.
What is time?
Time is a thing that is ever-marging onward.
Patricia Arquette knows this all too well in the movie boyhood.
Let me explain it to you.
She has this child.
The child is with her quite a bit.
She has multiple partners, some of whom are drunks, and Ethan Hawke is
like always hanging around. And I was wondering in the Northman, do you think Ethan Hawke had
like a muscle suit on because he looked kind of bulky, but I don't think he looks that bulky
in real life. That's a good question I just asked. So the other thing is Patricia Arquette is great. She, uh, what, didn't she speak to ghosts on a TV show and she was in lost highway.
What a picture.
So what I'm trying to explain is...
Kujo.
And I think that's it. That's a minute, right?
Yep, that's a minute. You're strong start. You've got to lodge your way a little bit
in the middle there. Dan, now it's, okay, this is the final round, just the first round. Dan,
you have 30 seconds to have your counter-rebuttal to whatever it is to just go.
I'm glad that Stu brought up both Kuzho and lost Highway because, well, D Wallace was
protecting her child from within a car.
Do you want a mother who's going to get you lost on the highway?
Possibly you're on your way to Disney World.
It's delaying.
By the time you get there, there's no time for any of the good rides.
You're just gonna have to get on,
I don't know, the T Cup one.
And if you stand in line long enough,
you'll probably get on it's a small world.
And that's not what they say.
That's the end of your counterbottle.
I mean, it was strong, but I like the T Cup rides.
So unfortunately, I don't know what it's like.
Sorry.
No, you're audience.
Looking at the first round, our final scores,
I'm gonna say that Dan is slightly in the lead.
Dan has three points, Stewart has one point.
I wish you would have had a higher score
if you could have gotten Kujo in during that first statement,
but unfortunately it was just a little too late,
so I'm not sure you've seen ET,
but some of the other things you said really rang true,
and I like that the way you turned lost highway around.
Stu, I loved how, I loved that you're opening
on that argument, and then it kinda forgot
what you were talking about.
So that's why you only got the one point.
Okay, so now, but now it's round two.
Okay, round two.
So this time Stuart gets to choose his side and this is different kind of round.
This is still against still about moms.
These are supportive moms.
This is the kind of more than that.
Where is me to ask, yeah, bad-ass protector moms.
These are the moms who are willing to hurt somebody to help their child.
We're in this case.
You get to choose between Sarah Connor and the queen alien.
Who are you going to argue the case of as the best mom?
Two James Cameron joints.
I mean, I'm going to do Sarah Connor.
Okay, that's great.
So Dan, you'll be arguing the case of the queen alien as a better mom than Sarah Conner.
And Stuart, your first statement, you have one minute starts now.
Okay. So Sarah Conner, like, started off as a waitress. So already she's got these great multi-dassing skills. She works real hard. She loves her kid. And then she doesn't have a kid yet
because all of a sudden this dude from the future named Michael Bean shows up and he puts a baby in her head.
It's like, what?
That baby's going to be the king of the future and his name is going to be John Connor,
which I don't know if you know that there was another guy named with a JC initial and
he adds some pretty wild ideas.
So Sarah Connor then lost her baby, made a bunch of friends, but then she got super fucking
ripped for part two.
I mean, what check out those shoulders and arms?
It's nuts.
And then she broke free and you know, things were a little bit ragged first, but they got
along great.
And you know what?
They beat a T 1000.
So thumbs up to Sarah Connor.
Some additional elements about Sarah Connor is that she's. I'm sorry, that's all the time you have.
I apologize.
You've run out of time.
I do want to hear those.
So save them for your counter bubble, maybe.
I'm really disappointed you didn't start with what is time
since it's all since the time travel movie, but, but you're doing great.
You're doing great.
A lot of a lot of plots somewhere in there,
but that's good.
That's fine.
Dan, now to your turn, you have one minute to tell me,
why is the queen alien a better mom than Sarah Connor and Go?
First off, is there a measure of a mother better than,
of course, quantity of offspring. Size of
size of brood and boy does the Queen Acyan habit when it comes to
number of children. Only managed the one before Cal
Reese was killed. Number two, you know, it's an alien, you know, people
say the xenomorphs are, you know, loveless creatures, but this alien was willing as an
active revenge to hitch a ride on a spaceship up into space and attack Ripley and murder a bystanding Android as athetic as they prefer to be called
if I recall. Very tolerant. I appreciate that. And that's your minute. That's your minute.
You made a compelling argument, compelling somewhat insulting to most mothers of aren't the Queen Alien argument,
Stewart, you know, have 30 seconds to rebut Dan's rebuttal.
This is a re rebut and give me the Saracan argument.
Go.
You say a size of brood.
Well, what if we were talking about the mother of all of humanity because that's what she
gives the future by birthing John Conner, a boy who she raised, troubled teen, but she gave him the life skills
he needs to teach her robot how to say, cool ass shit and give thumbs up.
Does the Queen alien teach anybody anything?
No, all she does is scream, shoot out her little tongue mouth and then get killed.
Sarah Connor.
That's excellent.
Not killed.
Okay, good.
I'm glad you finished that thought.
I'll let you finish that thought.
Guys, another great round.
I got to say, so telling up the scores now at the end of that round, Stewart actually has
a, oh no, I'm sorry.
It's tied up.
It's tied up is what I meant to say. Stewart doesn't have a sorry. It's tied up. It's tied up is what I meant
to say. It's sort of doesn't have a lead. It's tied up though. Sorry, I was doing the scores
as I was talking, but that's, hey, it's a tie game. It's literally anyone's game. And
we've got another round before we take a commercial break. This next round Dan gets to choose
who he's going to argue first, which, up thing, because this is right up Dan's alley.
It's the sexy moms category.
It's actually moms of the movies.
Dan, will you argue the case of Mortisha Adams
from the Adams family films,
or Leah Thompson in back to the future,
Mortisha Adams can't keep her hands on her husband.
Leah Thompson can't keep her hands off her son.
Which, who are you gonna argue as the better mom?
I'm gonna argue argue for Leotops that I'm not surprised at all. So let's do it. You'll be arguing in favor of Morticia
Adams. Dan, your opening statement, you have one minute again, starts now. Look, you
all know me. I'm pervazoid number one. I'm an innocent pervazoid. I'm not going to cause you any trouble,
but I'm your friend on the other side of these headphones who is not afraid to say kind
of gross things. And I'm going to tell you a lot of people seem to enjoy your taboo porn and the back of the shirt was way out of the curve when
he came to slamming that into the mainstream.
So if you want to cover all elements of this great, what am I doing guys?
I don't even, you haven't said much about her as a mother.
She's, she's pretty good once the, the past gets fixed, you know, like early on she
seems kind of, you know, beaten down by life. I don't think that's her fault. You know,
her husband is a layman. And then that's your man. Wow.
Wow.
Well, that's an argument.
Stuart, you're going to have to try hard not to win this one.
So that's the thing you tried your best.
God, I have to admit, Dan, you did kind of walk into the guillotine I set up for you
there.
So thank you for being true to form.
Now Stuart, yes.
Look, I'll drive into the skin.
Stuart, let's, yet you have one minute. It sounds like you're already revving up. being true to form. Now, I'll drive into the skid. Stewart,
let's, yet you have one minute.
Sounds like you're already revving up.
Tell me about Morticia Adams.
Why is she the better of the two sexy moms?
Well, she's always like lounging around and stuff.
And yet at the same time, she gives her kids plenty of space
to learn and be children and do their own fucking thing, right?
She and Gomez are always dancing, catching roses and teeth.
There's always closeups on our eyes that are lit very well.
Yeah, she's really great.
And, uh, you know, I don't know, like, you know.
Right?
You know what I mean, right?
Come on.
You might need more specifics than this,
or you mean?
No way, man.
But you know, it's like, you know, right?
You still have 10 more seconds.
Okay.
So run out the clock. Inclusion.
You know, right?
Okay.
Right.
Is your rebuttal?
I said you're going to have to work hard and you did.
So I think I'm going to win this one on redirect because here's what I got to say.
Okay. and go.
Well, you know, my learning colleagues argument the last half of it was just basically kind of a retread of his weight.
What come on a bit, which is a classic bit, but it has little salience on the matter.
And also, are we to believe like half of his arguments are just describing the films that these
characters appear in.
Like, is the, is the mark of a great mother that she has her eyes lit really well?
I don't know, not in real life.
I mean, obviously, also, not in real life.
One shouldn't go back and pass.
A board.
No, no, wait, hold on.
Okay, and that's your time.
So, so, so you really went after his argument.
You didn't really back up your thoughts about it.
It's the future, but that's okay.
It's debate.
Sometimes it brings me about turning down your opponent.
Yeah.
So, that round did not go the way I thought it would in a lot of ways.
But telling up the points, Dan takes a slight lead.
We are now at six to five, Dan.
That's a surprise.
It's, I, I, it's, it's, it lost a lot of points.
We just kind of stopped arguing to do a bit.
And so let's take, I think you both, yeah, I can see that the, your debate engines are
overheating and their steam coming out.
So why don't we take a break for a short sponsor on it?
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Tell them, hey, it's me calling Ferrell the penguin tell them to flop house sentias.
That's my that's my the penguin has played by Colin Farrell impression.
That's a good impression.
That's a great impression.
Hey, guys, it's me, the penguin.
Chicago.
I gotta say, I love the way, I just love the way that like Colin Farrell made up his
mind that he was like, I don't care how short the scene is in,
if I'm gonna have to put on all this fucking shit,
I'm gonna make the most out of any line.
Yeah.
He was having fun in that movie.
You gotta have fun.
When you're in a Batman movie, why not have fun?
Yeah, just gotta have fun.
You're in a movie about a guy who dresses like a bat
and beats the crap out of people.
So, have some fun.
Yeah, have some fun. Yeah, have some fun. Yeah. Thank you so much to everyone who participated in this year's Max Fun Drive.
If you're a member who wants to purchase additional patches, our annual shop is now
live.
The proceeds for this year's sale will be going to Trans Lifeline.
Anytime is a good time to donate to Trans Lifeline, but this year it feels particularly important.
Trans Lifeline is a nonprofit for the Trans Community by the Trans Community. We're grateful that
with your support, we'll be able to help Trans Lifeline connect Trans folks to the support and
resources they need to survive and thrive. The sale will run until Friday, May 20th. Folks at the
$10 monthly level and above
will have access to all of the patches from the drive.
We also have a special network patch,
starring Nutsi, that all members can purchase.
For more information on Trans Lifeline,
visit translifeline.org.
And for more information on the patches,
head to maximumthun.org slash patch sale.
Hey, this is Alden Ford.
Emu, Jean, Zafogari.
And we are here with all the other creators of Mission to Zix.
Hello.
You're not going to say our names too?
No, no, it's a short promo.
Yeah, I'll go to speedrun.
Now, with the end of our fifth and final season,
just a few weeks away, we want to say thank you to MaximumFund
and to every single one of you was listened to
and supported Mission
to Zix.
Thank you.
And if you haven't checked it out, well Mission to Zix is an improvised space opera with
blockbuster quality sound design, a score performed by an actual 60p orchestra and hilarious
guest comedians on every episode.
And as our final episode's air now is the perfect time to jump on board.
That's Mission to Six,
Z-Y-X-X on Maximum Fun.
Hey, speaking of fun,
it's time to get back to our game.
That's right, it's time for...
The second half of Man's Playin' Mom
versus Mom Mother's Day belated edition.
And first, before we get to the next round of the debate,
I wanted to have a little bonus round
and ask each of you questions you can get get extra pup pup points for.
That's right.
Three pips.
Three pips.
Those things for points, points, points.
So here's my question.
Stu, you can go first.
Although you are also going to get to choose during the next category.
Stu, what is the plot of the movie about your mom?
And Dan, think about it because the same question is going to be coming right to you when Stu has finished. What is the plot of the movie about your mom and Dan think about it because the same question is gonna be coming right to you when stew is finished.
What is the plot of the movie about your mom your mom what if you were making a movie about your mom what's the plot.
Okay, it would be.
I mean, it would probably be some kind of like a, like a, like a heist movie where she and
a bunch of, you know, like a team of experts in their own fields have to come together
and steal a big ol' bag full of money that's in a bank vault.
And what's her expertise in this movie?
Well, she was an English teacher.
So she likes wordles.
So maybe that can be,
maybe she's like a,
like a, like a crypto-mancer or something.
You can like figure out a puzzle.
I was gonna say maybe the locket is a a word based lock rather than a number based lock.
Yeah, that's what I meant.
That's what I said.
Sure.
And what's the title of the movie?
Um, uh, Shelley's big day out.
Rings a certain tone to it. That's not like a crack of Jack Heist, but you know,
I mean, it's a big day. It is a big day for Shalee. It is a big day for Shalee. It's over 1960s, like swinging London.
Yeah, I could see that. It could be called. Yeah, this big day. Yeah.
And so, so Dan, you've had some time to think, what's the plot of the movie about your mom?
I think it would be sort of a, my, you know, my mother was, well, is still living, but she was,
when she was still working a librarian. She's retired now. She was a public librarian and then a librarian
for the college in my hometown.
And, you know, I think it would be kind of,
I mean, this kind of exists, right?
The librarian series of TV movies.
There's a library franchise,
but it's basically just an Indiana Jones type thing.
Well, that's what I was gonna be like,
national treasure, but it's with like library
stuff.
But then I'm like, well, that's the librarian movies, which, but like, you know, she's kind
of a, which a small, uh, uh, I'm assuming lady who like maybe it's more of a
kicker.
Like Yoda at the end of a phantom at the end of a you describe Yoda as unassuming.
I'm saying he's he's I'm assuming until he starts whipping around and soon flips and
fighting.
Yeah, I guess it would be a good Miss Marple style hero like kind of a cross pollination
of like Indiana Jones style thing but with like a Miss Marple style mystery solver at
the set that the core.
Okay. And what's the title?
Uh,
the,
the, the, the books at risk.
I love it. I love it. That's great.
Yeah. That sounds good. My now, of course, my, and just to answer the question for me,
my mom is also a librarian,
but in my movies, she can change to take the form of a rabbit.
And it's called Lady Rabbit Super Spy.
So she's a spy in the form of a rabbit.
The thing is, being a rabbit makes it more difficult to be a spy.
So it's actually a child and she has to overcome.
She's just kind of a spy in disguise, you would say.
It's like how a binicula, despite being a vampire, it doesn't
have that good of a time because it's also a bunny. Yeah.
Exactly. Very much so. So I'm going to give you two bonus points for that. You guys did
great. That was fantastic. Now it's time for the next. How many did you give yourself?
As the host I gave myself 10,000 points.
Awesome. Way in the lead. But right now, so the Scords are now Dan 8, Stu 7.
Still very close and we've got, we've got at least two more rounds of debate.
I'll let you, I wonder how many there are.
So Stu, you're going to choose on this one.
This next category, this is a little, it's a sensitive topic.
This is the category moms who died during the movie and Stu, you're going to choose,
who's the better mom. Shmi Skywalker or Bambi's mom and you get to choose which one you're gonna argue in favor of.
I'm going to of course.
Yeah, I gotta I gotta argue for Shmi.
Okay, Shmi Skywalker mother of Darth Vader and dance you'll be arguing the case of Bambi's mom, mom of Bambi, the deer. Yeah, wait a minute.
One, of course, the maybe the most evil man of the galaxy or second most evil man of the
galaxy and the other, a deer. So okay, Stuart, you have one minute to argue the case that
Shmi's Godwacker is a better mom than Bambi and you begin now. Balance. Balance is what the galaxy needs and Shmi provides by squirting out Anakin Skywalker.
Losing points for that phrase.
Anakin, Shmi, a single mother raised Anakin, uh, despite.
Good points. Yeah.
Having to deal with Wato always bust in their chops.
She helped, she gave him an F space and, uh, emotional support that he became
the best pod racer in the Boone to Eve classic.
Uh, and he then was able to blow up a droid spaceship,
command ship, using those same skills. She let him go and train. She gave him the space to do that.
She got remarried and then killed by some Tuscan raiders. But you know what, even that helped her son along his path to do what he needed to do, which is
cause balance in the force.
Okay.
That's that's a great opening statement.
You in a little over a couple of seconds, or that's fine.
Dan, you have your minute now.
I might let you go a little over to just for equal time.
Can you explain why Bambi's mom is actually the better mom of the two moms.
So wait and begin.
What is one good mark of parenthood? It's being there for your child. Now, Bambi's mom,
you may remember her as dying very early, but I want to tell you as someone who watched
Bambi recently, she does not die until the second half of the film. You are misremembering
Bambi. She is around as a surprising amount. I don't like the attack on the on half of the film, you are misremembering, Bambi, she is around as a president now.
I don't want to be attacked on the on the on the moderator.
I didn't make it.
Whereas Smee, Smee, was she was she around enough?
Do you, if I were to ask 100 people to name 100 star
wars characters, none of them would come up with her name, whereas everyone feels the void left by Bambi's
mom who was around a surprisingly long time before she got shot by a hunter.
And that's like, all right, no, that's you got extra time.
Oh, no, sorry, I was reading your face wrong.
I thought your face said, wrap it up. No, sorry, I was reading your face wrong. I thought your face said wrap it up.
No, no, I received a text about work at that,
because I was just about to know the occasion.
It was for me.
It was like your face.
Yeah, no, from Stuart saying, don't let it win this.
Okay, Dan.
He's like, hey, Ali, how you doing?
Yeah, that was a strong, Dan, that was a strong rebuttal coming on.
So you're getting a good second wind, but Stuart, this is your rebutt rebuttal.
Tell me, why is Dan wrong?
Why is Shmi Skywalker better?
Uh, if 30 seconds.
So in the public memory, I don't disagree that the average person might not know the name
of Shmi Skywalker, though I'm sure they would recount that Anakin did have a mother.
Now, more people will know that yes,
Bambi's mom existed and died,
but tell me one person who knows Bambi's mom's name.
I, if that person exists and wants to write in,
just send it to Dan McCoy care of the floppers.
And that's your rebuttal that was very well said very well spoken.
And I think we're going to be surprised by the results of this one.
I'm going to I'm actually going to let's see.
It's still a close it's still a close game, but right now, let's see, hold on one second.
It's still looking up.
Oh, there's a little bit of a Bambi's mom to see if she indeed had an aim.
If you look it up, if you can produce someone who knows that, produce them now, but guys,
Stu, you've tied it up.
It's not 10 to 10.
That's what it is.
It is the level playing field once again.
Unfortunately, Dan has a big advantage in this next round because he gets to choose who he's going to argue the case of.
That's right, this next category, it's scared horror movie mom, moms in horror movies or otherwise scary movies that are scared and are scared of things in the movie. Dan, will you be arguing the case of Shelley DeVal
in the shining, or Tilda Swinton,
and we need to talk about Kevin?
Who would you say is a better mom, choose wisely,
because you'll have to make the case.
I'm going to choose Shelley DeVal.
Okay, so look on Stuart's faces.
I can't tell if he was dreading that outcome,
or okay with it. So Stewart
you'll be arguing the case of Tilda Swinton. Okay. Talk about Kevin. Sure.
And not a pill battle. Very much an uphill battle. But being a mom is stressful. So Dan,
your opening statement about the betterness of Shelley DeVol. in the shining begins now
and you have one minute. I will quickly state that everything I have said in this show is facetious, this
undergriller or another, before saying, shall it have all was able to protect her child
from a danger, whereas Tilda Swinton's child was the danger. Now, is that Tilda Swinton's
fault? One could argue one way or another. That is not this debates purview. The purview is which is the
better mom. And considering that Shelley DeVal saves her child from her ax-wielding husband,
whereas everyone seems to die otherwise in the other situation, I'm going to go with
Ms. DuVal and her marvelous winter sweaters.
Okay, and you have a couple of seconds, but you're done.
I've got so much confidence in the efficacy of this argument that I can afford to burn
second.
Wow, that confidence, I might be insulted by it, but I also might admire it. So, you
know, that's a that's a dangerous gambit. But Stuart, now it's your turn. You have one minute
to turn the tables on Dan and explain why Tilda Swinton in We Need to Talk About Kevin
is the better mom. And your minute starts now. Perseverance, enduring love. These are the qualities of the best mom.
Dildes, and we need to talk about Kevin, despite all of her, their, their history, whether it's
crossbow related or other things, still loves her child and still makes an effort to find some kind
of connection with him, even while he's in prison. And to me, that even when times are tough, she still finds room in her heart
for her son who is probably somewhere in Hawaii beating people up right now.
Very topical.
Stuart, that was a great argument.
Dan, now it's time for your third part.
This is 30 seconds.
Tell me why Stewart's wrong and why you're still right that Shelley DeVol is the best
of these two harm movie moms.
Shelley DeVol in addition to being windy of course in the shining had fairy tale theater now. Or the same person.
People can argue this scientist.
I've not been able to come to consensus.
But what could be better as a mom
than to have your own fairy tale theater?
Where all the great folk tales come to life before your eyes
for your amusement and edification as a child.
Strong argument, strong argument, telling up the points though. I've got to say Stuart really
knocked it out of the park. The true test of a mother is to maintain love for their child
regardless of what happens with the child. Stuart, that was an excellent argument, excellent gambit.
If I all outward signs, Shelley
DeVol is a much better mother than she saves a child rather than creating a monster.
But you know, the true measure of a mom is whether she still loves her monster. So Stuart
takes the lead and that one scores now. It's now 14 to 13, Stuart and the lead, but only
by one point, and hold on a second. Did you just hear that didgeridoo sound effect? Alex put in a didgeridoo sound effect there.
Wow.
Did you just hear that didgeridoo sound effect?
I just did, yeah.
Yeah, that means it's time for scared horror movie mom Australian edition.
That's right guys.
So Stewart, you get to choose.
This is actually gonna be our final debate.
Okay.
Final, final main debate.
We will have a bonus round, right?
Efforts are final main debate.
Stuart, will you choose to argue the case of
Tony Collette in hereditary or S.E. Davis in the Boba Duke?
Who is the better mom?
Tony Collette in the hereditary.
S.E. Davis in the Boba Duke.
Again, this is scared, horror movie mom, Australia in addition. Who willette in the red itary. S.E. Davis in the Bob Duke again. This is scared horror movie mom Australian
edition. Who will you take the
side of? Oh man. I got to go
with Tony Collette in her
red itary. Okay. So Dan, you'll
be arguing the case that S.E. Davis
in the Bob a Duke is the better
mom. But not till Stewart has
made his opening statement,
Stewart. Tell me why Tony Collette
in her red itary is the better mom starting now, you have one minute.
I mean, look where she comes from.
Her mother was a pi-mon worshipping cultist who set all the dominoes up that eventually
fall and then we are left with this kid being, you know, with a demon inside him and his
little sister's head's been knocked off
and it's gross.
Now,
nothing is drunky so far.
What I will say is a true test of a mother
is the ability to fly around and climb on walls
and cling on things and set Gabriel burn on fire.
And you can't tell me otherwise.
She can fly, she can do it all.
She can cut off her own head.
You know what, that doesn't stop her.
She's still a mom, baby.
What was that in the full argument?
You have like 20 seconds left.
Not on man, I'm only gonna mess it up if I keep talking.
Okay, well then that's, I guess we'll prematurely end that.
I'll see, maybe I can tack that on to your rebuttal to Dan's rebuttal.
I admire you have the confidence of you guys
just burning time at the end.
So Dan, it's your turn. You heard us argument.
They don't leave anything on the table.
There's a bonus round after this, but you don't have to worry about it too much.
So, tell me, why is S.E. Davis in the Babadouk a better mom than Tony Klet in hereditary?
You know, motherhood is both a real, vital thing, and it is a greater metaphor that we love in society.
And so let's look at these movies
on the metaphorical level.
Hereditary, the message it's telling us is
that evil is somehow endemic to a certain family
that it gets passed on along through the generations.
Is this a message that we want?
Whereas the Baba Duk tells us that even though love is
difficult and stressful and that we may encounter dark emotional times, the only way we can live is
to make friends with our dark emotions, which is a far better emotional lesson to be drawn, then some sort of, some sort of bloodline curse. And in conclusion,
the boba dick, of course, is an icon to us all.
Okay. I mean, it's strong. You meant in favor of the movie. You didn't, you failed to tell
me much about the mom, but you you know, but I'll give you
a point for, for some of that stuff.
So Stuart, now you can rebut that rebuttal.
Tell me why is, why is Dan wrong?
Why is Tony collect the better mom?
You've already enumerated her superpowers, which is pretty impressive.
But what else, what else is there about it?
You have 30 seconds.
Okay.
Um, we're just going to talk about sheer difficulty here because
SE Davis has one super annoying kid that she has to try and keep control over.
Tony Klaude has two.
She's got one kid that won't stop eating nuts like quit it.
What are you doing that you're allergic?
And then you have another kid and you smashing his head on desk freaking out
because he's got a demon in him that's two kids that's double the
number of difficult kids
it's the math works out the math checks out on that one yeah and okay so we've got
I think I know my my scores on that one but before we go to the final scores for
reveal them it's time for uh oh another final, bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo- and you can go multiple rounds. You don't have to worry about the time, but keep it short to like a couple sentences each.
Just pass it back and forth.
Here is the final bonus round.
Mr. Mom, honorary mom.
Now, I flipped a coin.
Dan taking the pro position.
Yes, he is a mom.
And Stuart taking the con position.
No, Mr. Mom, so resolved.
Mr. Mom is a mom.
Dan taking pro and Stuart taking con con and Dan, you'll go first
because your box is above stews on my screen. Since, uh, the change is a construct and
mom is a word for a nurturer. Who is, uh, the, the better nurturer than, uh, Michael Keaton,
uh, the, the, the better nurture than, uh, Michael Keaton, America's wild man, uh, you know, figuring out how to change a diaper, uh, doing some sort of shenanigans probably.
It's been a long time since I've seen Mr. Mom. It may seem like it's a, you know, outdated, uh,
you know, gender stereotypes is what's playing on and it is, but it's flipping them.
It's flipping them in the name of moving forward and showing that we all can be nurturers,
including Mr. Mom.
Okay, Stu, what's Ellen why is wrong?
Why is Mr. Mom not a mom?
He's not a mom because he is so much more.
He is the alpha, he is the omega. He's the beginning of the story.
He's the end of the story.
He is everything all at once.
He is the child.
He is the parent.
He is the grandparent.
He is the son creating life.
He is more than a mom.
Okay.
Dan, tell him, take, you get, you get one more round Dan.
Bro, I mean, you're both kind of said that he is a mom,
but Dan, so tell me, are you against, too?
I guess he's just a mom, is what you are going
and not the all things.
Checkmate, if something is all things,
then it is also a mom.
And Stuart has already admitted that Michael Keaton
and Mr. Mom is everything.
And thus, I mean mean he's a multiplicity
if you will. He is a good mom, a bad mom, a mom that doesn't know what the name of the
other moms are. You know, he read the paper this morning, you know, see see the story. The pertin and the batman and keep
tying in spot like me more. Give
you a mic. Keep the titles. I
love it. I heard spotlight.
That was good. Throw some more
drink a little beetle juice and
come on. You know, you know,
bad man returns. Guys, you
leave. But he comes back just like a mom.
Okay, Stu, do you have any more Michael Keaton titles that Dan didn't mention that you
want to get out there?
In addition to being your creator, Michael Keaton is also a destroyer.
And I ask you this, can a mom truly be a destroyer?
I don't think so.
He has created a home, he destroys the home when the washing machine goes crazy.
It becomes a money pit. Wait, was he in money pit?
No, that's a time. It's top. That's a time. It's a time. It's moving.
All right. So that's the end of that bonus round. Well, Dan got that point, which means,
guys, you're going to get mad at me. It's a tie. 16 points to 16 points.
You both, you, you have totally tied. You are equally amazing debaters, master debaters,
if you will. And I just, I hope everyone listening can salute these two master debaters who have
showed us such a wonderful, wonderful example of master debating tonight. The saddest thing is that I didn't think
of it till just now. I would have tied it in here.
No, no, no, I am the best football possible outcomes for you.
I share the victory and the defeat with my friends too.
You should both be very proud.
The best outcome would be, Dan, my greatest hater defeating me. So I then grind harder and better.
So I become the best debater in all the land.
Oh yeah.
Well, keep working at it because I've got a feeling that mansplain, the game of mansplaining
debate between two men, you guys, will return at some later date.
Should I think of a theme for it?
Thank you so much for joining us.
So Dan and Stewart, you've shared the
joy, the pride, the shame, and the glory of being debaters tonight. And I want to thank
you listening to this at home or wherever you are. Open your eyes now. It's no longer
night. The bright sun, the bright light of a sun, shiny day is shining to the windows.
And now you've been you've been reinvigorated by this burst of intellectual combat, this analytical
post and reposting, this war of cerebellum that we've heard tonight, but it's not night
where you are now, it's day, heard today. And with that behind us motivating us, how can we not make it through the fog of the modern
into the promise of tomorrow,
in the future in the process?
I mean, just pull the car up and you are getting.
And so I want to thank you for listening.
I want to thank the Maximum Fund Network
to which we are a member of.
Please listen to other Maximum Fund shows.
They have a lot of very good one.
I'd like to thank our producer and editor, Alex.
Dan, how do you spell his handle, Howell Dottie?
Howell Dottie, it's HO and the word well.
And Dottie is DAWDY believe.
I believe you.
Wait, there might be another W in there.
It's good enough.
It's good enough.
They'll figure it out. Yes, they will. Thank you, Alex. I hope you put that there might be another W there. It's good enough. It's good enough. They'll figure it out.
Nice work.
Thank you, Alex.
I hope you put that did you reduce that in earlier when I asked you to.
I want to thank Dan and Stuart for me, me, my contestants.
You can find us online at the Flop House Pod on Twitter.
And I guess there's a Facebook group and stuff and there's a damn what's our website.
It's flophousepodcast.com.
Please join us next week as we will be talking about a movie.
And then the week after that, as we have another mini and the week after that, as we have
another movie, add in finitom until the end of the universe and the big crunch when the
big bang reverses and everything goes back into being a tiny particle.
Thank you very much.
I've been Elliot Kaelin.
I've been Dan McCoy.
I'm still still a well-ent Wellington. Saying good debating to you.
That's why he's not that.
That's ironic.
That's the irony of it.
Don't you think?
A whole lot of us.
Call her up, talking about Canadians.
She's the new guest book of records. She's the new Guinness Book of Eranis.
Guinness Book of Eranis is Guinness Book of Eranis records.
Eranis, that's the light name for it.
It's an ancient tone about what isn't what is not ironic.
Let me crack open my copy of the Eranis Alonis and I open up and ghosts float out saying
spoons, thousand forks, rain on wedding day.
Blow this ironic dust off of here.
The Alana Amalakhan.
The Alana Amalakhan tells you what things to put in your hand when the other one is in
your pocket so that you can, so you can summon demons.
Squad 2, Alonus Nick 2.
This ironic thing is that you shouldn't autonow these dark secrets.
Thank you.