The Flop House - FH Mini 91 – Best Horror Villains, Part 2

Episode Date: October 28, 2023

We wrap up our discussion ranking the iconic horror movie villains — and the winner may surprise you!Check out FLOP TV! You can buy tickets here!Donate to the Entertainment Community Fund, to support those still affected by the SAG/AFTRA strike.

Hey, yeah, that's right. This is the flop house mini a mini episode of the flop house podcast a podcast where we normally watch a bad movie then talk about it. But instead today we're going to be doing something a little bit different because it's a mini. We're doing part two of our official 2023 horror movie villain power rankings. That's right. We're ranking our horror movie villains all 14 of them on three different categories of scaryness Star power and lucky dip we if you haven't listened to part one I'd just go back one or two entries in our little catalog and I'd listen to that bad boy first to introduce ourselves I think we got through how many I think we got through three villains in the first part

We got leave 11 left good thing L.A. got through three villains in the first part. Mm hmm. Didn't happen. We got to leave 11 left. Good thing. Eleets in charge of the math part of this show. Uh, I am your host, Stuart Wellington and joining me are Dan McCoy and Elliott Kalen. Yep. And together we make the flop house a podcast about movies. So last time we we ranked and three fifths of Captain Planet.

Sorry. Yep. We're if 100% worth it. When when we combine, he's missing one arm and most of his torso. But you know what? That's better. Nothing better than the no Captain Planet. Yeah. Yep. He looks kind of like Auro from Street Fighter 3, but we'll talk about that later. Okay. Yeah. So last time horror monsters that Frankie. Yes. Oro from Street Fighter III. Yeah. I mean, Street Fighter III does have some good monsters, but I think the game you're thinking of is Darkstalkers, the Capcom fighting game that features all classic movie monsters. Was I thinking? You were you were a deal with it. I believe

you have a couple of years ago, you did a Morgan cosplay. Somebody just Google that. I'm sure you can find L.A. address this Morgan from Berksdonge. Yeah, yeah. Captain Morgan from the from the liquor brand. Oh, man, that's that's the mashup that everybody's dying for. Okay. Two very popular brands. Okay. So last time we talked about just a recap, we talked about Chuckie from the child's play franchise. We talked about Michael Myers from the Halloween franchise.

We talked about Jigsaw from the Jigsaw franchise. We talked about Predator from the Proctor franchise. We talked about the Boba Duke from the Boba Duke single movie. We talked about pinhead from the Hellraiser franchise. And finally, we talked about the old Fred Ed himself, Freddie Krueger from the nightmare on Elm Street franchise. And just so the rankings, if you are listening to this one, but not that one, like some sort of maniac who sees part two and something is like, no, thank you to part one, but not that one, like some sort of maniac who sees part two and something is like, no, thank you to part one.

Yeah, how did I get to the end? Yeah. I'll start this book in the middle. Who are these characters? I hate it. They're not set up right. So I like, I like you calling them franchises to it because it sounds a little bit like anybody can apply to the home office to open their own nightmare before Christmas.

I'm sure Nightmare and Elm Street. Nightmare for Christmas is not a franchise, although there are books based on it. Does that count? Really? It's part of our franchise. We wrote those books. Let's get to whatever these numbers are that you wanted to say. Anyway, so apply to the home office of Nightmare on Elm Street.

See, you can open up a local one. And just, just to throw out a guest, can you guys at this point in the rankings? Can you guess who is on top? To the best of my memory, I feel like the Boba Duke had some really good rankings. So I'm going to go with that. Boba Duke's number one. And who is dead last? I think it's Freddie due to an unlucky, lucky dip. This is my guess. He did have a bad lucky dip. I'm gonna say predator. You are right, Elliot. It is predator who also had a unfortunate lucky dip. Who in their right mind would want to take that fellow to a nice restaurant? I don't want to watch him eat all those little claws on his face. Come on.

I have, it's like a crab. Yeah. I'm going to pull back the curtain again. I think I may have talked about this last time. I have a pet crayfish in the house, but I watch it eat and it is horrifying. There's so many different appendages involved in that, in that exercise in that operation. And it is frightening. It's really scary.

Do you think humans would be more efficient eaters if they had extra little appendages in their mouth? Yeah, probably. I mean, it's well as a piece of how you're eating. I mean, not with a fork because there you're already talking about a bite size thing. I think if you would have to lower your head down to the plate and have all these little hands and claws pulling it piece. Yeah. I imagine it'd be like a typewriter when you push too many keys, they all get tangled up. Someone has to pull them apart. That doesn't sound good to me. Give me good old fashioned teeth. If you brought a handful of food up to some mandibles, you could eat it pretty quickly. I think that's true. What if humans have mouths kind of like the vampires, the vamps from Blade 2 with the crazy vagina mouths? What do you think?

Do you think they're like, I'm folded up. What are you thinking? What vagina mouths. What do you think? Do you think? I'm full of it. Open up. What are you thinking? What's that? What the heart part is? What do you guys think? What should that have? The heart part we do it? Should we do that? I mean, everything right now is kind of built for the other way. So I really be asking all of human civilization to reorient itself around our three giant amounts. That's true. I don't think it'd be worth the change over. You don't think, you don't think, you don't think, okay, that's fine. It reminds me when there was a new iPhone years ago

and they were like, people keep accidentally hitting the picture button and Steve Jobs was like, well, people are gonna have to start learning how to hold phones differently. And it was like, dude, the human hand has been around for a long time. Why don't you make the machine to accommodate that instead of forcing me to change the way I hold my fingers, but he could do that. And you know what his secret was?

What? He was an asshole. So he did not care. Oh, wow. Yeah. Man, I got to try that out. Okay. So are you guys ready for the part two of our horror movie villain rankings? Oh boy. Am I. Oh, and we are, we are starting off with a scary one. That's right. Ghost face from the screen. Oh, yeah. Ghost face. He's a killer. A different one each time, spoiler alert. Are you got? Have you guys seen them, them screen moves? Have you seen the screen movies? Uh, I've seen all the screen moves, except for the most recent one, which I have a New York. New York. New York

Scrimo. I've just been sort of avoiding out of like a general like feeling of solidarity with Elliott. Thank you. Appreciate it. I appreciate that very much. I have personal reasons that I

have been advised not to go into on this podcast for why I will because of the last screen movie be giving screen face slash your screener goes face. I will be giving him zeros across the board. Yeah, you're a reason I have been in. I was a lawyer. One are Giuliani told you not to. Exactly. Yeah. My lawyers Giuliani and Powell told me not to go into it.

But I've seen all the other screams and have basically enjoyed all of them. Yeah, I would say I would argue that I think this most recent screamo, which I have seen not out of solidarity with Elliot. I appreciate it. Yeah, it was a deliberate dig at me. Yeah. Well, it's a bit of a disappointment. It's a bit of a bummer.

It's not as good as some of the others I would argue. It's almost as if the idea from a different story was grafted onto the scream films in a way that was not, was not actually that simple. And done the way not as good or ethical. But I mean, the scream movies in general, they've got a pretty high standard though, aside from general, yeah. Generally, yeah. Generally, yeah.

Generally, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I would argue it might be the most like second most consistent franchise out there. The top one being of course final destination. I thought you were going to say final destination. Yeah. Final destination number one. I think that's true. I think in terms of consistency, yes, I think you're right. Yeah. Like when you go into a final destination or a screen movie, you know what you're going to get and you get it. Yeah. You get exactly it. So unless there's somehow drawing inspiration from from outside the spring universe in a way that I thought that you were well advice not to you're right. I don't

get it anymore. That's true. That's true. That's true. So speaking of that, let's talk about ghost face. Ghost face. Let's rank that guy on scaryness. I say guy because almost always ghost face the guy, although I think sometimes it's a gal, right? I can't remember. Yeah. I mean, honestly, ghost face, no matter who's ghost face, because ghost face is just a mask that people put on from varying from movie to movie. Well, Dan, I understand. And a sound, and a voice sound. Yeah, and a sound. But I'll quote a professor William Joel when I say Dan, we all wear a mask.

No, my license, some are leather. So in a way, we're all ghost faces. I'm saying that they're all valid ghost faces, but the one consistent thing is the mask. Has a good record of killing a lot of people, so that's pretty scary. But also seems to just be easy to knock down do like sort of slapstick things to. Yeah. So I'm going to give Ghostface a five. I think that's fair.

Yeah. He also, he uses primarily uses knives and bladed weapons, which are kind of scary because they cause a lot of bleeding. And he always seems to be like right behind you. And you're like, what? How do you do that? But also like half of them have just been like movie nerds and I deal with those guys every day.

So I think I'm with you. I'm going to say five. I'm going to say it's three in terms of scary. I'm maybe even a two in terms of scaryness. There's when you get down to it, ghost face is just a regular person with a knife and a mask on, which is scary. But it's not. Yes.

I feel like that's more scary in real life than it is in a movie. Like Michael Myers is a guy with a mask and a knife, but he's also like some kind of unkillable madman. Yeah, he's a big and big. And he's also big. He's also tall. You never know which ghost face you're going to get. A big one, a little one, one of climb on rocks, even ones with chicken pox. I think there's no love ghost face, arm or ghost face.

A weird like objection to the rule that you're making, like just a small corollary, where it's like Michael Myers to me was the most scary at the beginning where there was some ambiguity about like, is this just a human or is there something more going on? And as that ambiguity was lost and became supernatural, I found him less scary. You can see that. I can see that because it's less real. It's not going to happen.

Yeah. You know, but I think what it is with Ghostface is it's less scary because as you guys have already said, it depends on which ghost face you're gonna get. I feel like ghost face to me is not a character in the same way these other ones are. It is a, it's just a mask that someone puts on when they want to stab somebody. You know, it's like, as opposed to, I know in the saw movies,

you have like, Jigsaw's followers, but it feels like Jigsaw is still a presence, you know, whereas for me, ghost face is not, there's only one ghostface, and he's a real killer. That's right, Ghostface killer. The one who's just a ghostface. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow, classic hip hop reverence for the LA Kaelin. Just know, you just know that's the world I swim in.

Yeah. So, yeah, but I'm gonna give, so you know, I'll go as high as a three. I'll say a three. It is scary to have someone in a mask with a knife running after you. And Bob, you want to change your rating anymore, so that I can have to scratch the hell. Okay. So that's what we've talked about, scaryness. Let's talk about style.

I think, I think Ghostface says a little bit of style. You know, he, you know, he talks, yes, a lot of like games. He has his little sound effects. He likes to like set up elaborate traps where he's like chasing people. Not, not, I mean, in a way, I feel like Jigsaw's got him be done both games and traps, but I feel like, I feel like the ghost face kind of like builds the scaringness

where he's like, at first you're like, who's this annoying guy? It called me on the phone and then by the end you're like, oh, he's gonna kill me. Yeah, text me,'s going to kill me. Yeah. Text me, bro. I, yeah. I mean, you know what, you just meant, you know what, you just meant, it makes me like,

ghost phase threat level is a lot lower here in a world where people don't pick up numbers. They don't recognize. Yeah. So like, he's just sitting there calling over and over again, being like, pick up so I can ask you if you like scary movies and then kill you. I think that I think at least one of the later screams made me hate. Did that? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I forgot about the taunting. That's pretty good, I guess. I still can't get over the fact that Ghostface is basically just a mask and a mask that is stolen from the scream in a way that, you know, at this point, as many people I think associate that look with screen as they do, the Edward and Moonsh painting. I mean, that's an argument in favor of its iconic quality, you know. Well, that can take over. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's if it feels like stolen valor to me, I don't know. I'm going to give him a three. Three for style. Okay. I'm going to go a little higher. I think he's got some charm. I'm giving him a six.

I'm going to give him a four a little bit higher than Dan because I do think it is a good style. It's a good scary movie look. And this is where I think it works that it looks like an off the rack Halloween costume because when you dress up like him for Halloween, you could be the real him and you don't know, which adds to it.

But there is part of me that's like, oh, I like that painting. And it's too bad that now that painting is the screen movie painting as opposed to another one of Edvard Munk's expressionist masterpieces where he's letting out into the open the turmoil inside his very soul. Do you think he has other paintings that he's like, why didn't you turn this into a movie? Probably and that's what he sounds like to. Yeah, why didn't they say into a movie? Yeah, because he's in Israeli used car dealer.

Yeah, that's it. So that's a lot like a lot. Okay. I mean, what is a lot over. It's really a scar deal. Okay. So, I think it's time for everybody's favorite part. That's right.

Lucky dip. Dan, why don't you give me a number of between one and seven? Because I've already eliminated the ones we've already picked. Seven. Okay. How? This is actually pretty good for ghost face. On a scale of one to 10, how effective do you

think Ghostface would be at explaining the rules of a complicated board game to Dan McCoy? I mean, obviously this Ghostface in general is like sort of like coded as a nerd, at least from the start in that Ghostface is interested in following all of these horror rules. So obviously- He's the horror villain that loves categories the most. Yes. So obviously very good, you know, from that perspective, but there's a slight chance that

he'd get impatient and kill me. He gets frustrated. So I'm not going to give him the full tab, but I'll give him a nine. Dan, this was exactly my thinking. He has a little bit of patience, but I don't think he has enough patience. So I'm also going to say a nine. Having explained complicated board game rules to Dan McCoy, I know Ghostface is going to get frustrated. So I'm, I'm, I'm, except that I'm going to check out halfway through. But then once we play

the game, I'm going to understand how it works like by playing. Yeah. And that's, and that's, make go. I don't think Ghostface needs to be in control. So I'm giving only an eight, but I, yeah, that's still respectable. Well done, Ghostface. Okay. So I'm giving them only an eight, but I, yeah, that's still respectable. Well done, Ghostface. Okay. Not a bad toll. I mean, his patients level compared to other horror villains, I think is high because he's willing to engage in conversation before killing.

Yeah. And there's a lot of, there's a lot of setup, right? That's what really gets him off, you know? A lot of the other villains, they're just like, you're here, you're dead. Goodbye. Mm-hmm. Okay. So Ghostface, not a bad, not a bad showing to continue our face category, our next villain. That's right. It's leather face from the Texas Jainsaw masker franchise.

Oh, he's got, boys got the moves. You guys have seen at least some of the Texas Jainsaw maskers, right? I've seen the, I've seen the first two. I did not see any of the remakes or anything like that. The leaders. Do you see part three with Vigo Mortensen? Oh, you know what I did. Okay.

So I have seen part three. Yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah. I think the only one I haven't seen is the one with what's this face and what's her face. Be kind of a, you know, you have a debate and Judith light. You're thinking of it. You're sitting on the phone. That is tennisane and Judith Light, you're thinking of it. He's a cop going on.

That is tennis play. Was that was Zellweger or the other one? It was Zellweger, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it, uh, that one is, I haven't seen that one a long time, but I remember seeing that a long time ago. I do feel like for a long time, that was my least favorite movie available to watch. It was like, it felt like, you know, almost

every text change on masker features a, well, most of the good ones feature a lengthy dinner scene that just involves a lot of yelling. And I feel like that was just a lot of the beer. It was a lot, the episode of the bear was a lot like a Texas chainsaw master, although it was more of a Chicago chainsaw master without a chainsaw. Um, yeah. So let's talk about, uh, let's talk about scaryness on the old L face leather face. I mean, I mean, I love to go first on any of leather face of 10 on scaryness. That is one scary guy.

He lives in a gross house full of bones. Sounds delicious when you think about it. There's just chicken bones all over the place. But I bet it smells really bad. Reports in the set, well, that smells really bad. There's just something about him that is, and him and the world he exists in, that is so disgusting and frightening to me,

because it feels like it's both grotesquely exaggerated, but also could very well happen. You know, there could, there could, there might be somebody somewhere who's just saying bros oil clothes and we're skin over their face and is just hanging around in a, in a humid, stuffy house full of bones and, and meat and things like that. Really gross. So I'm going to give it a 10. More than almost any other horror villain, you know he smells bad.

Yes. Just looking at that guy, you're like, no, thanks. It comes through, there's something so, I mean, that first movie is so brilliant and it's so amazingly well made for, it's because it's so like visceral and tactile and it feels like it's assaulting all of your senses at the same time. And it's, it just, I mean, it sounds like it was a nightmare to make. Everybody involved had a terrible time, but it really comes, that terrible time really comes to really film. Yeah, I want to say that like as a, at this point, a pretty jaded fan of horror movies who

like actively seeks out weird stuff and what like, there is very little in a horror that like I still enjoy it, but it doesn't usually actually scare me all that much anymore. But with a few exceptions, and I think that like the Texas chainsaw maskers, a movie that when I finally got around to see it was pretty late actually. Like, brisk. Was it like 11 o'clock? Defensive.

That's pretty nice. Yeah. It's like, follow sleep while watching it, if you watch it. I'm just saying, well, what was the one that I saw as a teen? Like I saw it late enough that like some of these calluses had worked up, but it's still like really unnerved in a way that, you know, is unusual. And so I'll give it a 10-2. I feel like it has all this, the movie, and we're just from at the movie when I'm talking

with the character, but the movie itself has all the strengths of a well made film and all the strengths of an exploitation grind house film. Well, you're watching it. You're like, I know this is not real, but at certain moments it feels so real to me. And that's super frightening. And leatherface, what I like about him is as a character is that he is so clearly, when he's used right, he's so clearly like, doesn't really understand what he's doing wrong. He's as opposed to some of the other villains

who are hate machines. Leatherface doesn't hate. He just, he's raised bad. And there's something extra scary about that to me too that he's an innocent, who's also a monster. Yeah. Yeah, he's just like primitive primal, almost animal. And unless his dad tied thatal, like almost animal.

And the, unless he's tied tie, unless his dad tied that forearm, which is possible. I'm assuming somebody tied it for him or showed him how to do it enough times that he picked it up. Yeah. One of the things about the movies that it is like of all the like slasher movies, it's the one that best captures like a full core vibe where you're like, you are in a world you do not understand. And the rest and like, as the movie goes on, more of its revealed that you're like, everyone's in on it. This is, I am like, the world, this is a complete

malign paradigm shift. I do not understand what is going on. Well, like Audrey is by no means like a horror fan, but that is like the thing that she has brought up more than once about Texas chainsaw massacre that like she really zeroed in on exactly what you're saying, that she's like, you're in this world, you're like isolated in this world. Like you're out in the open. It's the country, but you're isolated in this world and you discover that like no one's there to help you. Yeah, it's all the, the, the, the, there's a little bit less that feeling in the second one. What with the theme park and everything?

But the super silly fun one. Yeah, yeah, the super silly fun one. But that movie is going for something different. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, Elliot, what is your scaryness? Wait, did you go first? Who went first?

Yeah, I said 10 scaryness. Dan, Dan, what are you giving leather face on the whole scary meter as well? 10. I'm going to give him a nine because sometimes he's a little silly. It's true. He is a little silly sometimes on the subject. And he's also, here's the thing that shouldn't be scary about him is, and is that moment in the first movie when he falls and cuts his own leg, that should make him less scary. But somehow it makes him more scary. Yeah. So speaking of him being a silly little guy, where do we put him on the style meter?

What kind of style does our boy leather face have? Well, real norm core. Real norm core. Real norm core. Yeah, if we were talking about the traditional version of style, you would rank very low, but I think we're talking about star power, not star power. Yeah, star power. And so that's why he still gets ranked pretty high. I'm not going to give him like the high heights because he hasn't entered the public consciousness

to the way that like Freddie or Jason has, but I don't know, I'll say eight. I'm going to give him a pretty good, I'm going to give him a seven, because there's something I feel like the name is well known, but I think Dan's right that the image is not as necessarily recognizable. I think that's because his look is very busy. It's hard for me to, it's hard to tie down like what, it's like Jason, hockey mask, Freddie, hat, sweater, glove with the claws on it, like a Myers mask. Like they have their one thing, and leather face that should be his leather mask, but it's

so gross looking and so complicated looking that it's hard, it's like hard to draw like a cartoon version of leather face, whereas you can do a cartoon version of these other characters. Yeah, you couldn't do like a little, you wouldn't want to do like a little amiibo, like a little like Chibi version. Now, it's hard to, it's hard to imagine a fun cop of leather face. I'm sure there is one. I'm sure there is one. Freddie, Jason, all those guys, I can visualize the fun copop, but it's hard to visualize leather face. What I do not want to see are all the rejected Funko pop. Yeah, I'm going to give him a, I'm going to give him an eight, I would give him a seven,

but I'll give him an extra point because, because of the way he kind of co-opted the franchise a little bit. I don't know if that's just the natural feeling of a horror movie franchise to latch onto a single individual, but I feel like he is, he is not like the main folk like in the text change on mask. There's a lot of bad stuff going on. And I feel like he becomes more and more the focus as the series goes on. Okay. So I think it's time for a lucky dip. Elliott, why don't you pick a number between one and seven? I'm going to say four. Oh, this one might be okay for a whole leather face on a scale of one to ten. How likely are

you to invite him to babysit or cat sit for you? I say cat sit for me and Dan who have no children. I'm going to give a one because I'm pretty sure. I'm going to say a zero on this because that baby's going to get eaten for sure. Yeah. He doesn't eat the baby. Do I think leather face can change a diaper? No, do I think leather face can put together a meal? His dad can, it would be cannibal flesh, but still. Do I think leather face is gonna be able to,

is gonna be able to turn on the TV so the kids can watch cartoon? No, he is incapable of doing these things. He's trying to smash it with a hammer. I'm gonna, I'm gonna give him a tube because I think there's a chance that he will be charmed by my annoying cats and will want to take care of them. Oh, I bet he'll love the cats. I bet it'll really speak to his innocent side, but the minute the cat does something he

doesn't want, he's going to bring a snack or something. It's like a mysythia. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, a little bit trouble there, but that's a right. My mayor leather face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, let it be trouble there, but that's a right. My mayor leather face. Yeah. Okay. Number three, you know him. You love him. That's right. Candyman from the Candyman franchise. Tony Todd himself.

I do know him. I love him. Yeah. Obviously, I'm referring to Tony Todd from the original Candyman run, not the recent reboot. So So candy man guys, have you seen any candy man's? I've seen the old candy man. I did not see any of the old, the, it's just the one sequel. Fair old, the flesh. Yeah, that's the only one. And then I saw the reboot. Yeah, I was called a the reboot. Call the remake. Yeah, let's call the remake reboot. Come on everybody, they're not computers, they're movies, come on. They're not trying to relaunch a franchise.

But it's, I think we made content. But it's rebooted. It's a direct sequel to the original game. But it's not like as you see, Like it's obviously meant to set up. I think reboot. We got a ghost face right here. What was this movie nerd rules? I think there's a specific purpose for the word that it actually applies in this case. But, okay. But the TV show reboot that was on Hulu was not a reboot of the TV show reboot from when I was a kid where they were about candy man. It was like a reboot of the TV show reboot from when I was a kid where they looked at the camera. And it was about candy man.

It was a candy man. It was a real robot lady. Possibly. Did you like it? I just rewatched the original candy man last year, I think. No, wow. Yeah. I was like, this movie holds up real good.

Yeah. It's the harm movie. I mean, here's the thing. I'm going to split the difference here because on the scaryness, which is the, you know, our first thing, always like, I think candy man, the movie is extremely scary as horror movies go. And I think that like he's scary. I think that I can't be all that scared

because I don't think I would say candy man five times into a mirror like just three times. Nobody would say five times. It's five times. It's five times for candy man. That's part of what's so weird about it. Oh, okay, because I would only do three times a billion times. I mean, I'm going to look it up to be sure, but I'm pretty sure I'm right on the

second. And that's the weird thing to me too about it. It's like, that's a lot of commitment. Five times. Even just to say it at all. You're really asking for it. Knowing that it's not like he can't even to show up. But it's also not like he arrives and gives you candy.

The story is you say it and then he shows up and kills you. So the idea that anyone would do it, it is, it is a. Yeah, five times. Five times. I don't know why I remember this three. It is a, that's what makes sense. That's what everything else is. Beetlejuice bitch. Yeah, maybe that's it. I think that, yeah, I'm going to give him, if he, if he shows up, he's pretty scary, but you're right. It is a, it's a high bar for

a monster to clear if you have to call him yourself. You're hunting into candy man. Yeah, you don't have, it's not usually with monsters. you have to uncheck the opt-in box. It's a pre-checked. His does not come pre-checked. You've got to click that. Like I think I you kept the terms and conditions of having Candyman physically. I could understand how you would accidentally watch the videotape from the ring. Yes, that's possible. But like I said, I I think you'll say, you've seen this before, and you put it in, yeah. So actually, you would have to, what kind of, I wish that was when we did the movie. If you were a cab race singer,

who has to sing the song Candy Man over the course of five years. Even there, you don't sing it five times in a row in the song. Yeah. But there's part of me that's like, I wish the movie was about what kind of elaborate situations does he have to orchestrate in order to get some to say the word five times in a row? He dresses up as if he's a man carrying candy around and he pretends not to hear people so they have to keep going, candy man, candy man.

What's funny that is he's already there. And that's, there in that. He's already there. Yeah. Yeah. But not I'm saying not in his work both because once he shows up, he's scary. What? Yeah, that's to be once he shows up. He's oh, you're saying when you say it five times, it's like it flips the switch. It's like, okay, now I can do it.

Yeah, I mean, he kills you with a hook. That's pretty gross. Yeah, he has got a hook. He's got bees. They're scary stuff going on with him. People get scared of bees. Tony Todd is an imposing, very charismatic figure. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, so I'm going to, I'm kind of with you guys. I'm going to say movie very scary, but he himself, I'm going to give him a seven though. I think he's a scary dude. What do you think? Yeah. No, I'm singing with my split, the difference at five, but I see that as a villain, if I were in that situation, very scary.

And I'm going to say six. Just in case I find myself in a room or somebody calls forth, can you man? You have a lot of chances to say stop or shut up or cover their mouth because they've got to say it like that's five times. That's true. It would be just. It happened to be around. I'm pretty sure can you man. It's not going to really differentiate whether he's going to kill you or not. So there's always the chance of

sort of a drive by Candyman. Yeah. Yeah. That's why that's why it's not protected speech to say Candyman five times in a crowded theater. Yeah. I mean, I think all together we've said it way more than five times. Yeah. We've said it. In between is the thing. I mean, well, that's like, is it was this, if you say it five times over the course of several days, is that still count? That seems unfair.

It seems very unfair, yeah. It's not intentional anymore. Yeah, okay, so let's talk about star power. How much star power does our guy, Candyman have? Oh, I'm gonna say, he's got a coat, he's got a coat, he's got bees, he's got a hook. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, an eight. He's got, he's got a coat, bees hook, he's got a coat. He's got bees. He's got a hook. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say an eight. He's got,

he's got a coat, beeswook. He's got a great tragic romantic backstory. I do love that. But he doesn't have the, again, he doesn't have as much of that iconic look. Again, I'm having trouble imagining the fun copop of of Candyman. Yeah. Just be Tony Todd. He's got that coat, but there's a certain point where if you don't know he's a monster villain and you just saw him walking down the street, you'd be like, that's a cool guy with a cool coat. It wouldn't, it wouldn't, it wouldn't be scared, you know. Elliott, you know, Elliott's reaction is entirely my own.

And eight was what I was going to give it and for the same reasons. So we can shorten this part of the episode and have me shut up. I'm also going to give him an eight. I'm also going to point out that Tony Todd has that voice, you know, there's something pretty amazing about his cool deep voice. You know, that's true. I've been judging a lot of this on look when I should be including voice and other things. Yeah, yeah. Like charismatic. Yeah. Yeah. Which case, another face still super scary. Just grunts and squeals horrifying. Yeah hmm. Yep. Okay.

So that's a candy man. Now let's talk about lucky dip. Dan, can you pick me a number between one and seven, six? Mm oh, I think I think he lucked out on a scale of one to 10. How effective would candy man be at killing a whole school trip of pesky teenagers? How did that slip in there? Wow, that seems like it.

It seems like a gimme for most of these. The bonus. Yeah, it's the legendary. So I think I have to say a 10, right? Especially so it's have have be allergies.

10. Oh man, kids these days with their bees and peanut allergies. Does he have a, does he have peanuts? Is he carrying peanuts? He does, he has little peanut shells with B's inside of them. He calls them B nuts.

And he goes, excuse me, would you like a B nut? And he hopes people think he said P nut. No, take it like a B nut in their mouth. Yeah, especially when he's like, oh, the candy man's here with some B nuts, everyone would be like, oh, what are those? That sounds like the great nutrient. Yeah. Probably honey covered peanuts. Sounds delicious. And he also has the advantage that all these kids on the

bus are going to be glued to their screams instead of paying attention to the murder of these modern kids. I want to see someone to make an ad for candy man's beanuts. Like little packaging, you know, friendly little game. So I think Candyman's gonna crush those teens. That's right. I'm giving it 10 as well. Yeah, that's 10. Dan, I think we're just waiting on you. No, I gave it to him, I think 10, 10, 10, 10, 10 to grow the board. Yeah. Okay.

Oh, okay. Even the rock judge is giving him a 10, undeniable. Yeah, very tough judge. Okay, we're onto our fourth horror movie villain. We have, we've talked about iconic looks, but this might be the most iconic. That's right. The Xenomorph from the aliens franchise. Oh, is that a penis?

Who knows? Mine doesn't look like that or does it? What the fuck? I want to make someone hit a bunch of keys on a Stuart Soundboard. What a man thing. Anyway. We're talking to Zena Morphe as designed by HR Geiger. How you know, Monsters Scary, when the guy who designs the monster is scary.

Yeah, scary as fuck. Yeah, famously. It's hard to, most of these creatures don't have a name associated with them in the same way too. The mailing is so iconic that we have a singular guy that we can be like, yeah. Well, it's one of the rare cases where I mean, it's like ghost face in a way as if they, it's like ghost face if they had hired Edward Monk that like the alien was directly, directly came from one of each of our giga's droppings. Yeah.

Like they said, it should look like that. And he was like, oh, be happy to do that for you. Well, a bit of a scratch. Yeah. That's how he talks. Yeah. No, I would like to crank one out for you. Have you ever seen, I saw this somewhere and I've always wondered if it was real or not. His design for the face hugger, which was like a chicken that would place its beak into people's mouths to put the egg down. And they were like, uh, we'll handle this. We'll design for the else for this. I was wondering if that was Napro Cool's frame. I'll say that forful Frank. I'll say that for another creature. Yeah.

Maybe in species. Maybe that's nice. Maybe that's nice. That's very just quieting to me. Yes. I will never look at chickens the same. Okay, so on scaryness factor, where does the old xenomorph go? How scary is that xenomorph?

I mean, this is a 10 for me. This is like. If anything's a 10, it's the Zena morph. Yeah. Man, it looks so different than anything I'd ever seen when I first saw it. And just immediately, like the movie's called Alien, and it's a thing that feels genuinely alien in a way that most creatures don't. There's a book called Shock Value by Jason Zenneman that came out a bunch of years ago, where he talks about the monster problem,

where the monster when you see it is never as scary as you imagine it's gonna be, that like it's being hidden all this time, and as soon as you see it by the end of the movie, it's not scary, and that the alien he talks about as the monster that solved that equation, where when you see it, it is as scary as you thought it was gonna be. And in some way, scarier.

It's so, yeah, so unlike any other stuff, the mix of like organic and not organic, the fact that it has weird human teeth, that it's so drippy, that it's got that second tooth tongue inside of it. Like, it's a scary monster. And also, it's got acid blood. It eats people all the time. It's babies shoot out of your chest. Like, there's scary monster. And also, it's got acid blood, it eats people all the time, it's babies shoot out of your chest,

like there's this monster. So it's like they use like four different ideas. I mean, that idea was taken from an earlier science fiction story, but it's still a really scary idea. So there's so many different ideas in this monster, you know. And it's a little bit sexy, I think. Yeah, and it's very much,

I mean, I think that's one of the scary things about it, is it has that parts of it have that sleekness and that, you know, and that sexiness, and that's very much each, each our, each our gagers thing. Like his stuff would not be as scary if it was not also supposed to be sexy. Now we got to add sexy xenomorph to this episode, I think. Oh, yeah, probably. Yeah. I think that's easily done.

Okay, so we got a 10 from, uh, 10 from Dan Elliott, where we fall in the scary vanger. Oh, 10. Hugely 10. I love that monster, love the design, very scary. Even when they made toys of it, where they mashed it up with different animals, like a gorilla alien and a bull alien. They still look scary.

Yeah, and even, I feel like even as, even as they introduce more of them, it doesn't make them less scary. Like they're still scary and aliens and then the, an alien three and alien resurrection, like they're always still scary. They're scary when there's one of them stalking you through carters and it's scary when there's a hundred of them leaping out at you, you know, or swarming those. Yeah, it's just such a scary thing. I'll give it a 10. Now, I think this is actually before we get into star

power. I think there's a perfect time for, I think this is actually before we get into star power, I think there's a perfect time for us to take a break from the sponsors of this episode. Hey, you know what might be fun with some horror movies, some monstrous villains, a little microdosing. Our show today is sponsored by microdose gummies. Microdose gummies deliver perfect entry level doses of T.CTC that help you feel

just the right amount of good and beyond feeling good. I mean, I find that they can be useful with creativity, sort of get you into sort of a focused, relaxed place that a lot of more unique ideas have sprung for me at those times sometimes. And I don't know, I'd like to draw a lot. And I think it helps me take away sort of the inhibitions of my hand when I'm drawing, when I'm a steward is making face of me. So glad you said drawing. Yeah, I'm sure that they want to be associated with you guys' dirty mind. Microdose is available nationwide to learn more about microdosing THC. Go to microdose.com and use code flop. That's FLOPD at free shipping and 30% off your first order.

Links can be found on the show description. But again, that is microdose.com code flop. And we're also sponsored this episode by Factor. Factor is a food company that I'll tell you, I have some very good things to say about. It's a fact that Factor is something that I support. Fuel up fast this fall with Factor. America's number one, ready to eat meal kit,

save time, eat well, and stay on track with your healthy lifestyle. Look, everyone knows my stance on cooking. I don't like it. I don't like having to do it. It takes time. I'm not good at it. It's like a little bit of failure every time I try.

That's why Factor is so great. Factor's fresh, never frozen meals are ready in just two minutes. All I have to do is heat it and enjoy it, and then go back to whatever you were doing. Just go back to succeeding in life, free from having to fail at cooking. This autumn adjust your stride without missing a step. Choose from 35 plus weekly flavor packed fresh, never frozen meals, the promoted healthy lifestyle, and meet your meal preferences.

They have the best of autumn, with fall flavors, a limited time only, hearty, comforting meal series featuring seasonal veggies, like cranberry, pecan, chicken, and apple, d'ijon, pork chops. That's right, there's more than pumpkins in the fall, everybody. There's more to the fall than pumpkins, and factor has it for you. They'll satisfy your fall cravings during the busy season without the hassle. Now, I'd love to share my personal experience with the factor.

There's nothing I'd like to do more than that. Unfortunately, I can't really, because I only got to eat one of the factor meals they sent to us to test out. And then my wife tried one, and she liked it so much it became her go-to bring to work lunch choice. So you'll have to track her down and ask her

which dishes she liked, because she liked them so much, and she took them all, and I didn't get to have any more of them. So that's my sales point on that is get them, you'll enjoy them, but protect them from your spouses, leaving hands because they're apparently a great thing to take to work for lunch and leave your husband who works at home with nothing, nothing at all. Head to factormeals.com slash flop 50 and use code flop 50 to get 50% off that's code

flop 50 at factor meals dot com slash flop 50 to get 50% off. And you know what? We also have a jumbo tron today. This is a fun one. What's better than an hour with your favorite peaches? How about an hour with each peach talking about their favorite Broadway cast album and or heavy metal concept album? Listen to the original cast podcast to do just that. Fans of the flop house can go to, uh, I can't read

it bit.ly slash original cast flop and find out Dan's thoughts on a pre misses Fletcher Angela landsbury stews musings on heavy metal bands logos and what Elliott thinks the ethical uses of a resurrection machine would be. So go to bit dot L Y slash original cast flop and listen to each of your favorite peaches talk music on the original cast. This is a podcast that we, I think now we've all been guests on. It was a ton of fun. And Patrick, the host was nice enough to allow me to flaunt the rules of the show. And instead of talking about an original cast album, talk about King Diamonds, them, a one of my favorite heavy metal concept records.

And a very spooky album to listen to in this spooky time of year. I'm glad that we were able to get through that Jamba Tron without associating the product either with masturbation or marital strife as we did in our first two. I tried. I couldn't do it. The job I had was too well written. They told me to speak about my personal experience, the factor, and I did. My wife liked it so much that I didn't get to eat more of it.

[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ People say not to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. Which is why here on Justice Zoo of us, we judge them by so much more. We rate animals out of ten in the categories of effectiveness, ingenuity, and aesthetics, taking into consideration each animal's true strengths, like a pigeon's ability to tell a mone from a Picasso or a polar bear's ability to play basketball. Guest experts like biologists, ecologists, and more join us to share their unique insight into the animals world.

Listen with friends and family of all ages on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. It's the final week of co-optober. I'm Richard Roby, producer and I'm here with... KT Wigman, Operations Specialist. To cap off National Co-op Month, we're sharing how worker-owned co-ops can benefit their communities. Read about it in our newsletter or on social media at MaxFun HQ. We're also trying to do our part. We're volunteering at our local food bank this week and we encourage you to volunteer in your area too. On Friday, we're announcing the donation

that you helped raise in the Post-Mex Fund Drive Sticker Sale, going to five food banks across the US. And we want to make sure that you know this is your last chance to get our limited edition launch crew merch. Grab a pin, hat, shirt, or hoodie before they disappear at the end of the month. Details on merch, resources for volunteering, and all things co-optober can be found at MaximumFun.org slash co-optober. That's CO-OP-T-O-B-E-R. Thank you so much for your support,

and a great co-optober! Okay, we also have a couple other things to mention. One is, this is this is Flop House general business. You're, I'm sure you've heard a lot of it by now. You know, we have flop TV, our monthly online screening series. It's a six month season. We've had three episodes so far. They were all really fun. And our next episode is coming up soon.

It's Saturday, November 4th. We're going to be talking about over the top, possibly the greatest sports movie ever made. Yeah, Stuart. I was going to be talking about over the top, possibly the greatest sports movie ever made. Yeah, Stuart? I was going to say, I mean, how many other arm wrestling adventures exist in the movie world? Very few. As far as I can think, none.

Well, none that are directly about the world of arm wrestling. There are other movies with arm wrestling in it. But that's November 4th. If you want to watch it, go to theflophouse.simpletix.com. You can buy tickets for individual episodes or you can get a season pass that gives you a discount on the six-show bundle and gives you access to these shows after they air. There's the video. Still up on the website.

You can buy, you can watch it whenever you want. And if you happen to miss the show on November 4th, your ticket or your season pass still get to access to the recording after the show is over. It's really fun. We've had a lot of fun with these original presentations, original talk, questions from the audience. We were all in town in the LA this past week before we recorded this, and we recorded some more intro videos that have all of us in the same room together.

Spoil alert. So that'll be fun. So that's over the top, the next episode of Flop TV, the television version of the Flop House. November 4th, go to the Flop House, simpleticks.com. And then guys, I have a personal thing that I wanted to promote if that's okay. Sure. Okay.

I have personal. Okay, anyway, we're like, that Marital Strife, we were talking about earlier. Okay, cool. There's a conversation. Alex Engle and Ready to Mingle. I'm neither single and have no interest to mingle. I don't want to hang up a shingle and I don't want to have a Pringle because I want to stop, I want to just, I want to see five people can't stop. Anyway, I have a comic series that is coming out right now.

It's from Dynamite Comics and it's called Hades starring the villain of the Disney Hercules movie. Issue number three came out on October 25th one day after we recorded this, but a couple days before you hear it. So go to your local comic store and pick up Hades number three. It's a five issue series. Issues one and two are out. Issue three comes out this week and it's a super fun, funny kind of like ancient Greek myth, heist mashup with lots of fun characters and silly jokes and exciting action. Fans of the original Disney Hercules will like it and people who didn't like the original Disney Hercules, I think they also like it. I think it's a fun way to enjoy the character without being associated with James Woods. Exactly. You can imagine any voice you want in there. It doesn't have to be him.

Elliott's voice. Sure, I guess so. You should release an audiobook version of your comic book where you do the voice for everybody. Okay. So are you going to do that? It's called reading to my children every day. When I'm reading to them and they go, uh, voices. And I'm like, okay, well, every character has to have a voice now. No, for jazz, you don't like doing voices. I like doing the voices. Do you do accents?

It's us too. Yes, what it's called for. Except there's one character in the dogman books who is an Australian character, but other than occasionally her saying, I'm Australian, it never comes up. And I forget to give her an Australian accent during her scenes. Okay, well, that's a snapshot. You asked and I told if you didn't want to know, she's never asked. Let's go back to the heart.

For me, that's my face. It sounds like the horror expresses about to leave scary station. Let's hop back aboard. Okay, too, too. We'll shift to place there. Okay, we're back in the game. And you know, we just talked about scaredness of the old Zenoph. So let's talk about star power. What do you think? Again, I got to give this a 10. It is one of the most iconic. Yeah, I'm gonna say 10 also. Thanks ever. Not even in movies, I think, just like in general. Here's a show of how iconic and how star power it is. Alien is a word, a pre-existing word that it now owns. We thought it was a big deal that they took one of Edvard Monk's paintings.

Everyone can take away a Norwegian painter's painting. You know, if he's not looking, just grab it when he's not there. Yeah, just grab it. The word alien and then the word aliens, it owns those words now. You can put out a movie called Alien vs. Predator and people are like, what's a predator? They know what an alien is. Yeah, you guys are right. I mean, I was about to knock some points off because it doesn't talk, doesn't have any cool catch phrases, doesn't do any bits, unless it's space balls in which he does bits.

Yeah, and he sings a song, yeah. But also show that he's got range. That's the show, yeah, yeah. You can get cast on anything else off of that, but the critics loved it. I mean, he does have catchphrases like, ha ha ha. Uh huh.

And he's like, somebody stop man. So, uh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, smoking. That's the alien, all right. Yep. Oh, classic. Oh, okay.

Uh, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna dig him a point. I. Oh, classic. Oh, okay. So I'm going to, I'm going to dig in my point. When the alien goes, when the alien goes, really, like that kind of stuff, yeah. Yeah. How rude. Yeah. And you're like, you didn't even press the aura. Yeah. I have to check it around.

It's a door. It's getting warmed up. Yeah. She's got a greater. That movie makes a lot more sense when you realize that Al Pacino assumed character was high on Coke the entire film. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So I think it's time for a lucky dip. This could be the aliens last catchphrase. Hank Cutting Cuttoo. Yeah. Also. This is Calvash, wherever you are.

Wherever in the universe you are. Okay. What was the final, what's the lucky dip? We're doing lucky dip and I think it is it LA it's time to choose. I think it's LA it's time to choose. This could make or break the game for the old xenomorph. Wow. At the risk, I'm going to say number one.

I think he's the number one armonstrate. Let's say number one. Let's say. Interesting. Okay. On a scale of one to ten. How likely are you to ask the xenomorph to help you move? Oh, man, this is where the score tanks. I know. Well, hear me out. There's a lot of them. That's a lot of helping hands. That's true. And they seem to be pretty strong. Yeah, they get to tight spaces. I do think that they're either going to shoot their little inner mouths out and kill you or have one of their friends' legs in you.

At the very least, they're going to lay eggs on all your stuff and something your couch is going to be full of chest boosters. The highest I can go for this is a two. And that's mostly just because I want to give one of my favorite monsters a fight in a chance. I'm going to go as high as a four. I'm going to say a four, although I do regret it. I wish that the xenomorph could have walked away with a perfect score on this one.

It's going to be hard. It was this category is always going to be the xenomorphism. I really wish that xenomorph could have gotten the killing a bus full of teeth. I mean, what a crush that they're very good at killing the xenomorph. I'm getting more of a three because the xenomorph is, you know, they pick up kids and move stuff around like you know, the dust. That's true. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Too bad. So you know more if there was a tough round for you. Okay. We're about to talk about one of my favorite horror villains. I think it's also one of you guys. We're talking about the tall man from the phantasm franchise as as portrayed by Angus Scrim, RIP to a real one, the best best to ever do it. Like I said, about Geiger, when the character, when the actor who plays the character has Angus Scrim, RIP to a real one, the best best to ever do it. Angus Scrim.

Like I said about Geiger, when the character, when the actor who plays the character has a scary name. That's already, that's a good sign. Okay, so. You can tell me that if in the movies they revealed the Tom Ains real name was Angus Scrim, you'd be like, yeah, definitely. Makes sense. He looks like one works.

Yeah. Have you guys seen, I actually still have not seen Phantasm ravager. That's like my big dream. That's the most recent one. Yeah, I haven't seen it. I can't think of myself to do it. And that I am glad that they got some sort of chance to close the series off because it is such a wild series of continued continuity, even the nothing that happens really makes any sense. No.

So, I liked it on that level. It does feel like kind of what it is, whereas like Don Cosgrole handed this off to, you know, some kids to make like their fan film of the fan-tastic. Yeah, that's kind of what I was wondering about. But I liked seeing some sort of end to the story. Yeah, I can see that. But up to that point, the first four, I love them. They're so weird.

They don't make a lot of sense, but that's exactly what I like about them. And the fact that they have this like. Also the ambition of the movies gets bigger and bigger, even as the budgets are shrinking dramatically. Yeah. After number two.

And I mean, the quad shotgun is forever gonna live in my brain. A shotgun with four barrels. It's amazing. Okay, so but we're not talking about phantasm as a series. We're talking about the main villain, the tall man played by Angus Grim. So where does he fit unscariness for you guys? Now, I have a question where do that? Are we factoring in the globes or not? Yes, that is part of his, that's part of his fucking thing. If you buy an action figure, you get a fucking sphere.

Okay. So as for if you're unfamiliar withantasm, the tall man has a bunch of these weird spheres that float around him like silver and gold, and they all have different powers and crap, some of them shoot lasers. Most of them just sticking your forehead and then drill into your

head and shoot blood all over the place. Yeah. Yeah, it's a real, it's a real solution in search of a problem. Yeah. I mean, well, there's so much lighter to transport when you take all that blood out of them. Just that what people's heads do me. Yeah.

I mean, I, this is a weird one because like all the critiques of the tall man are also what makes them scary. Like, he doesn't really make any sense what he wants or what his powers are or any of that. It's always unclear, some degree, and you could argue that's a failing or you could argue that that's a strength in terms of whether it scares you. I'm going to give him an eight because I would cut for that reason then. I would call that a strength that phantasm at its best works on a sort of dream logic. And the tall man to me is a, he feels like a bad guy in a dream. Like it feels like that he's operating by

not the rules of any established reality, but by the rules of what a character in a nightmare would be like. And he looks scary without looking like a, he looks scary because he looks like a scary old man. You know, he doesn't look like a monster necessarily. And he's got those, those spheres flying around and there's something about him that is impenetrable to me in the way that a dream is.

So that works for me in this case. So I'm going to give him an eight. Yeah. I can't go that high. I see what you're saying. I'm actually going to give him a six because he just seems like a guy. He seems mostly just like a guy. He seems mostly just like a guy and-

I guess you know a lot of guys with spears with drills in them. Well, that should blow out. They're the shockingly strong despite their slim frame. The drill spears, like here's the thing about the tall man, it seems like if you don't go like prowling around the mortuary at night, if you don't poke the bear, he'll pretty much leave you alone. That's true. I mean, he does eventually go out and start taking over vast swathes of the United States

of America. Yeah, well, I'd be a much turning everybody into dwarves, yeah. Yeah, but to be fair, in the first movie, it is kind of more of a, if you don't, if you don't mess with this business, then you can just go about your life and it doesn't matter, you know? Yeah. If you don't mess with this business, then you can just go about your life and it doesn't matter. Yeah. I'm going to give him a seven as far as scaryness. I think you scary, but is he a top tier scary?

Not really. I'll give you that. I'll give you that. He's a second tier scary. I'll give you that. Yeah. So let's talk about star power. Where does he fall?

Where does the tall man reside in star power here? He's got a great voice. He has a couple of memorable lines. And he's got a pretty good look. He's got some cool toys. But I don't think he's really moved outside of the franchise. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. I think that he's not a breakout

other than among horror nerds. So that takes him down a little bit, but I think that Angus Scrim is so charismatic in the role that I'm still gonna give him like a seven. Yeah. I'm gonna be much lower than that. I'm gonna give him a five for this. I think he works so well in his movies. I like Angus Scrim's performance so much, but I do think there's something, there's some it factor that's missing from making

him, like you said, more than just the franchise. He works so well in the movies, but outside the movies, I don't think of him as a character that like does other stuff, whereas the alien or Jason, it's hard for me not to imagine them in other scenarios. What's going to happen, you know, Angus Grimm, he just feels like a part of that phantasm story, you know, to me. Yeah, uh, with the tall man, I should say, Angus Grim, I'm sure had a life outside the phantasm movies.

He was a human being. He was a family. He was a family. He was a human being. No, he just went into standby mode and between, and they would boot him up. Well, the funny thing about him is that, I think in the first one, he's playing older than he actually is.

So over the court, he ages quite a bit over the course of the movies in real life, but they just always make him look like the same old man basically. Yeah. So I'm, I'm giving him a six for this. So let's, let's get into lucky dip territory, Dan. Give me a guess. Number between one and seven. Now, I have no way of knowing which ones we've already

picked this boy. Okay, well, let me give you a choice here. We got two, three, five, two, three or five. I'm gonna go with five. So it's easy to remember what's remaining. Hmm, interesting. Okay. On a scale of one to 10, how good would the tall man be at being a gym teacher?

A high school gym teacher? Oh, man. I feel like you would kill this one. You would crush him. I mean, already it's like just like boy. They only talk stuff like games with boys and they need to get it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like that's like just like half a step away from, you know, yelling a kid's last name, you know, like McCall. Yeah. Hasselund, you know, um, yeah, he's in many ways like one step removed from like a nightmare scenario gym teacher is that you, uh, that you're already, like, already lives in your head. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, there are like just reasons of like, I think you would have a tough time in that atmosphere that I'm not going to give him the full 10.

Like I think that, you know, his, his disposition, re like, you know, killing people or turning them into dwarves or whatever. Yeah. If you think real gym teachers don't kill people who turn into the dwarves, you're being naive. Yeah, maybe so, maybe so, but I'm just going to, I'm saying in eight, it's, you know, it's high, but not the highest. Okay.

I'm going to give him a name as well. I think you would be very good at this. And despite, you know, in some ways, he would make a better science teacher, but I think that, you know, he's strong. He's physically fit despite his years, you know, yeah. I'm going to give him a nine just because you would be a big motivator. Yeah, I'm going to give a nine just because around the time of year when the presidential physical fitness test comes around, I find it hard to believe he would stick to that curriculum. But, but otherwise, otherwise, that's a solid nine. Yeah.

Okay. Not bad. Okay. So for our next horror villain, we are, we're talking about a classic here. Well, kind of a classic. Are you one of the scariest movies from killer clowns from outer space? We are talking about Jack Torrance from the shining movie. Interesting. Intertorance from the Shining movie. Considered by many to be the scariest movie of all time to me. It's these a brutal film, but that's just me. So I mean, it is the only movie that I thought I might have had a heart attack during, but

I don't think that that's the movie's fault and more just something that happened in my body. I mean, you certainly contributed to that. the movie's fault and more just something that happened in my butt. I mean, you certainly contributed to that. Your lifestyle is contributed to that, to that event. Yeah, I mean, my heart is fine. Sorry, just bring this on the flopp house, listening audience. My heart is fine, everyone. Yay!

For your dad's head and checked out. It was fine. But, but yeah, part of me was like, was that part of that tension from the shining who knows who knows could be, could be. Could be. Okay, so Jack Torrance, we have all seen the shining, right? Sure. Played by Jack Nicholson, maybe you've heard of him.

He was also a Joker. No, he was the wolf once. He was a wolf once. Yeah, yeah, that guy flew over a cooogus nest. Yeah, Dan, you probably remember him best as most people do from film The Passendure? And Tony Oni's film. He was an easy rider. Uh-huh.

But he wasn't a raging bull. That was no, he was not a raging bull. No, but he wasn't departed. Yeah, he was. He wasn't departed. Yeah. He wasn't departed. Oh, he was not a raging bull no, but he wasn't departed. Yeah, he was, he was a departed. Yeah. He was a departed. Oh, he was a departed.

So Jack Torrance, Dan, you may know him best from watching, from you having seen the witches of breastwick and then being like, is this a parody of anything? Oh, the witches of Eastwick. That's what it's a parody of. But then, but then not watching the east. Which is, which of those movies is better? Well, once directed by George Miller and the others directed by Jim Wynarski from Chopin Hall.

Yeah. I mean, it depends on what you want to have a movie. I guess. I'll be honest, like, which is a V-shrieking? It has a lot of stuff I like in it, but it is not one of my favorite George Miller movies, despite all of the amazing star power and the great George Miller camera work. There's a little something missing there for me. I would quality wise, put it above which is a rest wick unless the quality you want is

boobs. Then the latter film takes the brown. I guess that's an area. Yeah, that's a crown. Okay, so Jack Torrance, we're talking about potential father of the year candidate, Jack Torrance failed novelist and arguably failed ground sweepers.

All working no playmaker, Jack Adolfoie could have been a best seller. Yeah boy. Could have been a best seller. Yeah, could have been a good. Honestly, you never know. Yeah. So it's auto fiction. It's auto fiction. It's a new experiment.

Yeah. So on scaryness, where does old Jack fit in? I would say that personally scary to me was watching the movie and seeing Jack yell at his wife for interrupting him while he was writing. And let me be clear, I'm not abusive towards Audrey in any way, but I do get near and old sometimes. I'm just considering that, Dan.

No, I was like, Dan, how often do you brandish an accent her when you try to work? No, I don't, I mean, the fact, the point is, I know it's ridiculous to compare myself because it is like, is so far to the end of the spectrum. But like, I also, you don't have a child which puts so much stress on a marriage. Does that?

I see the irritability. Let me make my own. I don't think I can take care of myself. Nope. The shining tells you that a kid can just ride a big wheel around the empty halls of a haunted hotel all day. But in real life, they'd be like, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, play with me, daddy, daddy, daddy. you that a kid can just write a big wheel around the empty halls of a haunted hotel all day. But in real life, they'd be like daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy.

Play with me, daddy, daddy, daddy. And you're like, it's a fucking ghost. There's ghost kids right here. Play with the ghost kids, your own age. I'm sorry. I was starting to make a point. Yeah. And it was interrupted in such a way as to make it sound the worst.

And I called that the flop, flop, flop, guest. Interrupting. was interrupted in such a way as to make it sound the worst. And I call that the flop-downs podcast interrupting. Let me say the full idea. Okay, you got it. It is so ridiculous to out of bounds in the movie. It's like this like horrifying. But the fact that I get irritable with Audrey when she's like, hey, you know, I need this or that

thing when I'm writing. Like there was like the small part of me is like, is this how I come across? Like whether or not it's like real and that's in the sense of like, I don't want to seem like I'm like turning on someone just because at that moment, I am like trying to, you know, I know I have that irritability within me, you know? So I was like, I think that it was personally scary to me because I was like, this is the worst case scenario of like the kind of like anger that lies within people, you know?

Okay, so I can see, so the, what's scary about him is in a way you see yourself reflected. Well, again, I want to make it clear. I don't actually, but if that moment I'm like, you see, you see the fears that you have. Yeah, the fears that I have about, like, yeah, I think that part of the thing that is scary about the shining is it is a movie about hurting people who care about you. Yeah. So I guess in our version of the shining Dan is Jack Torrance. I'm going to be the cool bartender that's a ghost and I let it be, I don't know, Shelley DeVol. We're the kid. We're both, I don't know. I'm going to give him, I'm not going to, I don't

find him that him that scary in it. I find the movie scary, but I'm finding him this year. So I'm going to give him like a six, I think. Okay. Six. Dan. What? What's the rating? Because we've been rating everybody on scale a one to time. I know. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. then you don't write it down. You ask me at the end. And so I had seven seven seven seven seven. Okay. I'm going to go. Yeah, I'm going to go six as well. Okay. So let's talk about star power Jack, Jack Nicholson, he's, he's a court side every Lakers. He was a Lakers game. And he was able to steal someone else's catchphrase and make it his own catchphrase. Here's Jimmy. I was going to say, I was going to use that exact thing for the opposite of the most iconic thing about him is someone else's catchphrase. Oh, but I think if you can take someone else's catchphrase and make it your own, then

that you have defeated them star-wise. But that's just me. I could be wrong. Yeah. No, I think, I mean, I think his performance really, maybe it might not necessarily make it scarier, but it definitely is very iconic and memorable. Yeah, yeah. I'll give him a high, I'm going to give him an eight star power. It's not the character, it's, it's Jack, but that's, you know, so I take it off a little bit because he is one of the most charismatic stars of the generation. But I, by all accounts, a bad person, but we're talking about performance. By all accounts, a difficult person, not good to

people who knows what he's involved with. I don't know. I don't know for sure. I don't want to open us up to anything you did. I would talk about that scream thing, but the, but you, but it's not a person I would want to spend time around. I'm going to, like, we're not talking about Jack Nicholson, though, we're talking about the character of Jack Torrance. And I get I'm going to say that like, when you think of the shining like even though he's obviously got problems from the very beginning of that movie, like he's not necessarily, you don't think of him necessarily as the overall villain of the picture. You think of the hotel and its malign influence,

I think, as the overall villain. And he's a weak man that it's channeled through, at least that's the way I think that. And so otherwise, it's just like, here's, here's Jack Nicholson in a sweater. And does that permeate us like a horror movie villain? Like I don't know. I say, I'm going to give him a six. A six. I think else, the difference here and give him a seven on star power. So now

we are on Lucky Dip. Elliott, why don't you give me either a two or a three? Say a three. Okay. On a scale of one to 10, how likely are you to trust Jack Torrance to do your grocery shopping for you? Well, he's, he's already, that's kind of the job he's doing in some ways. Is that kind of caretaking? And he's not doing it well. He's not doing a great job. So yeah, I think he's going to go to the grocery store. He's a ghost there is going to offer him a drink.

There's going to be a ghost in the beer aisle offers him a drink. Next thing you know, he's throwing cans of people's heads, you know. Yeah, I'll be the ghost bartender in the beer aisle. I'll be like, yeah, they don't for some reason. They say you can't give free samples of beer anymore. What's wrong with people these days? Yeah. So I'm going to give him a, on the other hand, should I, I'm having trouble not comparing him

to the other monsters who it would also not really trust to do this job for me. At least something that I believe Jack Torrance has done at some point in his life. So, I'm going to give him a five. I'm going to give him a five on this. I'm going to go way higher. I'm going to go with an eight and I say that, I mean, he is, he is a basically a human man who can do it. Not just basically, it is. He is. He is.

He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is. He is maybe that'd be good for his head. So, yeah, I think he'd probably do it if you wanted him to.

You make a good point that he is a person as opposed to like, I'm not going to send the predator to go get my groceries. You're going to be a fool. Yeah, you're just bring back a bunch of skulls all polished up. Now, what I wanted. Yeah, I mean, I feel like deep down Jack Torrance would be wanting to do a good job. And I think, I think he would do okay at following instructions. He would still mess up a little bit.

Um, probably again, because he was drinking ghost beer. What? Go on. I feel like anytime you use Instacart, you're dealing with Jack Torrance. He's going to try his best, like you're saying. He's going to pick the wrong item for a couple things. You're going to be like, well, when I asked for potatoes, I didn't want potato chips. Like, oh, they were out of potatoes.

There's no way they were out of potatoes, Jack. Like, okay, but you did your best. I understand, you know? Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he got, and study just got me two bad, I asked for two potatoes and he gave me two bags of tatos skin, a chip they don't even make anymore. Oh, yeah, I got it from a ghost from the 20s. Wait, they had tatos skin's back the 20s.

Probably. Okay. So, Jack Chorne's not too bad on that last bit. So we, we're going to wrap this whole game up with, I mean, he's been in the background this whole time lurking, slowly pursuing us occasionally teleporting. That's right. The terror of Crystal Lake himself, Jason Voorhees, you knew he was coming. He couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't hide, we couldn't hide from him forever. Jason, even thought he was dead at the bottom of a lake, some multiple times, like he did him or stabbed him in his grave and he came back.

Yeah. Yeah. So Jason Voorhees on a scary factor, where does old Jason, where does old Jason sit? Yeah, here's that a lot of incarnations. If we were, you know, if we were doing goosebumps rules as we've talked about before, like that situation, unstoppable, seemingly teleporting killer, you know, 10 out of 10, obviously. But I have to look at it from a bit of a distance, and I think I'm going to like take in the general vibe of the movies, which I find almost causally enjoyable more

than I do, like scary dudes who like I don't think that there's particularly accomplished suspense filmmaking in the front of 13th pictures. So his whole vibe is scaring us as less in for me because of that. And also because unless he's like carted away on a cruise ship, he mostly just hangs around that one lake. So I think it's for five. Okay, a five, wow. Death Elemental Jason only gets a five.

Ellie, what do you think on scaryness? I have similar thoughts to Dan, but it's not gonna, the number won't be the same. The idea of him is so frightening to me, but I agree that in the actual movies, it's not gonna, the number won't be the same. The idea of him is so frightening to me, but I agree that in the actual movies, it's not that, it's never that scary when you see him in action, but the idea of him is so scary. So actually, I'm gonna give him a seven, because if it was just a concept of Jason, that's a 10.

But in a lot of the movies, he's kind of like, he wouldn't be that hard to get away from, even with teleporting. He's kind of gets distracted easily by my stuff. Like he persists all the time, but he's, there's something kind of inaction, there's something kind of doofy about him compared to the idea of him. He's a star in need of a vehicle.

I'm gonna give him a little bit higher because I got, you know, he's a little Jason. I got a love him. So I'm giving him an eight. So let's talk about star power for the old Jason here. What do we think? Where does he sit in the star power? Now he doesn't talk. He has a cool outfit. That's the thing. I'm going to, what's amazing is he doesn't talk. Yes. Little discernible personality. There's a little bit, not that much there. His clothes are ripped and gross, and they're not cool clothes. But I gotta give him a 10, because the audience can't be wrong about everything.

He is one of the most iconic characters in a horror, even with those deficits. This is a character who doesn't even get the most famous thing about him until into the third movie in the series. He took over a franchise. He didn't start as the killer. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it's when the, he's the original, he's the original chorus girl who comes back

a star, you know, taking over the show. I'm going to have to give it 10. I mean, there's, when you ask, when you talk to a regular person on the street and you say, name a horror movie monster, it's very likely Jason will be the first or second person that they name. If they end probably Freddie is the other one, you know, this one. Yeah, I agree totally. Like I, not my franchise in general, even though I like it, but he's got to get a 10 for this. If anything, he's the iconic slasher. The fact that now hockey masks are inherently scary, when they weren't before. They were just a thing that people who the old time NHL guys considered

to chicken for not letting pucks hit them in the teeth and knock their teeth out of their mouth. They used to just be a face guard, but he made them. It's only a scary thing. You called it a hockey mask. I think most people just call it a Jason mask. Well, that's, yeah, exactly. But now they say that goalies at hockey games. So where's your Jason mask? Didn't even say hockey mask anymore. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, man, should you get the puck past the Jason? Oh, it hits him right there. Good thing he was wearing a Jason. He's saying the goalies are just called Jason's now. And even that point that David Hockney, the English painter is now called David Jason. Yeah, that's that happened. Yeah.

Now, I know I know David Hockney of a of a nude man jumping into a swimming pool in California, but he's wearing, but it's Jason and he's wearing his mask. Yeah, I mean, it's like the, so and also I want to point out that in like in Freddie Versa Jason, Jason kind of de facto becomes the hero of the movie. Yeah. Like he kills people, but by the end you're like Jason, kill for any place. There's something about him. That's the moment where he crosses over the same way that like Godzilla crossed over, where

Godzilla went from the scary part to the hero. And I think the fact that Jason is a kid inside, inside this is the mind of a child that Freddie is. Yeah, I mean, drink a milk. He loves the simple pleasures like murdering. Yeah, and that Freddie is so much a malicious grownup, whereas Jason similar to leather face is kind of like still he's a murderer, but there's still kind of something innocent about him, you know, you can project more,

more positive feelings on him, whereas Freddie's just a, he's an asshole. Like I'll just say, Freddie Krueger's an asshole, like he's a dick. Yeah, yeah. You know, there's a charmed certain charm to bad boys, but you don't necessarily want to be around them all the time. No, not at all. Okay. So yeah, that's, that's a 10 for me on star power now on our final lucky dip of the night. There's no more options. Our last option is Jason Voorhees on a scale of one to 10. how likely are you to ask him for voting advice? Oh, this is going for Jason. Yeah, this is too bad. I mean, I feel like Jack Torrance is going to be bad too.

Here's the thing, I'm more likely to ask Jason for voting advice than say if it was the alien or even, because I'm like, that's clearly a monster. Or the predator even who looks a little bit more like a man, but like, oh, that's an alien and can't. And either of them are citizens. They don't have any skin in the game, you know? Exactly. Whereas Jason, there's like a slim chance I would see him mistake him for just like a regular

guy who loves him. He loves him. Would you, you mistake a man wandering around in a hockey mask in like a torn up postal uniform or whatever it is that wears? I'm just saying like wet from whatever lake he just crawled out of. I'm just putting it on the spectrum of like horror villains. Okay. You know, like that, like he, like he looks person like, you know.

Yep, okay. Especially from a distance. You know. You might just be a very pale man. If you just see him from a distance, you don't know to mask. Yeah. I will also say that I feel like Jason has a tendency to go after and target the like assholes first, which is good. I like his anti-asshole

stance. And also the innocent ladies for last that he's a real final girl follower. Yeah. And also I feel like he would endorse a candidate that has a environmentalist message. Well, see, the here's my issue with Jason is I feel like he's young at heart. He's very straightforward with his morality. I think he's gonna look at things a little bit too much of a simplistic view. He's gonna be into easy solutions. Well, why don't we just stab everybody in the face? We can't do that, Jason.

If only we could handle things that way. Whereas I think Jack Torrance, I'm getting huge Trump voter vibes. I do not want that. Jack Torrance is 100,000% a white man who feels left behind and is mad about it. Jason, I feel like it's going to be, it's the, the, their aspects of, I think he's going to glom on to kind of like the worst aspects of the Bernie movement, which is the simplicity of it. Yeah.

And the lack of nuance. I mean, we're ignoring the key issue, which is I am unlikely to ask advice of someone who cannot talk. And to my knowledge, also cannot write to communicate. So that's the thing, if he could write a sign of either, also at someone who is, who is very much a, a dead child inside of a, inside of a grown zombieist body, which is, he's not eligible to vote, I don't think. Yeah, so I mean, I'm still, if I know nothing of Jason, you know, and I'm mistaken for a man, I'm maybe it, I'll give him a two is what I'm saying. But you're not going to call him up.

You're not going to call him up and say Jason, Jason, I'm having trouble. Who do I vote for for a county supervisor and just hearing the phone, cha cha cha, Jason? You can't kill, kill, kill. What can I say? Jason? I can't so hard Cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha,

cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, like it's actually a, oh, because when I watch it, it's supposed to sound like mom, and it's like some sort of, yeah. When I watched it recently on, for when we did Jason Dexman and Hatten, I had the captions on, and it's set, the captions say it's saying, JJ, JJ, the way that my older son when he was little and learning to talk with crawl around

going, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, like he's just trying out words. I like the idea that Jason is kind of like, you know, he's a cute little baby who kills people. So you know, you know, cute little baby who kills people. But yeah, he's not going to be able to tell you any of that. So I'm going to give him, I think probably a one on this one. What are you saying? You know, as I said for my previous statements, I'm going to give him a four. I'm going to give him a better little doubt on this one.

Okay, so let me do one final tally here to tally up our numbers. Sure. Alex, don't you throw in a counting sound? Yeah. Okay. So it looks like we will give the, we'll give a full ranking, probably on what Instagram, Twitter, maybe on our show notes. But it looks like with a, a whopping what number, let's start with number number three are third highest kind of a surprise is candy man. I think the lucky get really helped him on that kill all those teens.

He that was a real lucky break for him. That was in some ways an unfair poll for candy man with, yeah, with 72 for candy man. Number two pinhead iconic villain. Yeah, that's, that's a good one for old pinhead right there. Not surprising, not surprising class. And that, and that 76. And then just beating him out with 79, that's the Bob a Duke. I think that says a lot. It's a well made movie. It, uh, did not have any sequels to kind of water down the message. Uh, yeah, that's, uh, looks like Bob Dupes takes

it for the power rankings on a horror movie villains. This is what this is one of the times when I find that I find that rank the rank, the numbers don't tell my heart, which is that the xenomorph should at the very least be on the top two. But maybe next time, maybe next time, what did we, what did we ask you to do? Help us move, not, not laying to his strengths. That's too. We're introduced to it. Originally, these were the 2023 rankings, just to me at first that this was that these were going to be rankings of 2023 and movies. But no, these are apparently only this year's rankings, Elliot. So you can take part that next year,

on the next year, the scene of morph can take it all. I think that's going to be Zeno Morphs here. Yeah. Yeah, 2024 might be the year on the show. The scene of the morph could take it all the way. I think that's going to be Zena Morphe's year, yeah. Yeah, 2024 might be the year of the morph. Speaking of Morphe, thanks so much for tuning in to the podcast. This was a lot of fun. I'm glad we got through this. This has been the Kappires podcast. We are part of the Max Fun podcast network. Check out all the cool shows that are on there.

The show has been lovingly edited and curated by Mr. Alexander Smith, goes by Lydia Burrell on various social media platforms. Thank you, Alex. So for the floppas, I've been Stuart Wellington. I've been David Coey. I'm Ellie Kalen. Bye. It was a crisp autumn night and I'm walking down the street looking for a special light form that I'd like to meet rising up in front front of me, I beheld in Mary Glow,

but it was just the neon sign of the ball where I'd like to go. Stuart doesn't know what he's about to find, a slightly beast with dirty mind, a thuddy with the body from beyond the stars from a distant clinical supermod. Super sexy, super sexy, super sexy, super sexy, super sexy, super sexy, I scroll in the door with my collar popped. Order of a drink and some liver and shot. Out the corner of my eye, something glistening bleed. It was the techno organic creature of my dreams In instant spark from across the place

When he saw the little things, it's had a bigger face She had a dream that he had to take Could she have a third face inside the little face? A third face inside the little face A third face inside the little face A third face inside the little face She was a sea of more, sea of more Supersexy, sea of more, sexy of more Supersexy, sea of more Supersexy, sea of more Supersexy, sea of more Supersexy, sea of more Supersexy the sexy the more I'm shaking like a leaf

But I gotta spin cool And I don't wanna get burnt by her acidic True, I touch her skeletal knee And say, no love Chesure to the door and say, let's grow They slipped up a battery was was the luckiest a man. With the dirty note, never to see him again. She stole his heart from a ripped him in two.

Played it egg in his tummy, don't let this happen to you. Don't let this happen to you. She was a xenomorph, xenomorph, super-sexy xenomorph, sex- xenomorph, So dangerous, super-sexy xenomorph, xenomorph, xenomorph, super sexy, Z-N-M-O Z-N-M-O Super sexy, Z-N-M-O Super dangerous, super sexy, Z-N-M-O Super sexy, Z-N-M-O Super sexy, Z-N-M-O

Super sexy, Z-N-M-O Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, it's cool. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's cool. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Super-sexy Z-N-M-O Z-N-M-O Super-sexy Z-N-M-O Z-N-M-O Super-sexy Z-N-M-O Z-N-M-O Z-N-M-O Super-sexy Z-N-M-O Z-N-M-O

Z-N-M-O Super-sexy Z-N-M-O Z-N-M-O So dangerous Super-sexy Z-N-O-M-O-S-X-E-N-O-M So dangerous! Super-Sexy Z-N-O-M-O-S-X-E-N-O-M Super-Sexy Z-N-O-M-O-M Super-Sexy Z-N-O-M-O-S-X-E-N-O-M It was worth it!

Maximum Fun A Worker-owned Network of artist-owned shows Supported Directly by You Directly by you.