The Flop House - FH Mini 92 - Auntie War

Episode Date: November 11, 2023

In honor of Veteran's Day, Elliott does the obvious thing -- talk about aunts in film.Check out FLOP TV! You can buy tickets here!

Hello everybody, welcome to another Flop House mini. That's a shorter, sometimes, episode of the Flop House podcast. Now, normally on this podcast, we watch a bad movie, we talk about it, on the minis, we like to do whatever we think of, whatever we want. And often, that has to do with when the episode is coming out as this one does. First though, I want to introduce myself. My name is Elliot Kalin and I'll be your master of caromones for today. That's how you would say it if you were pronouncing it wrong. Guys, I've been watching this Netflix show about Prius' Earth that Morgan Freeman is the

narrator of and he keeps saying KefalaPod instead of cephalopod. And I'm like, maybe I've been saying it wrong all this time. It's from a Greek root, you know? It carries so much authority, you know. Yeah. And every time he says it, my wife and I looked to each other and go Kefala Pod. So guys, who are your names? Who am I talking to about Kefala Pods?

Who are your names? My name is Dan McCoy. And my name is Stuart Wellington. Dan and Stuart, thank you for joining me for today's mini and thank you to the audience for joining me. Oh, and both, but no, but thank you. Stuart, thank you for joining me for today's mini and thank you to the audience for joining me. Oh, and both, but thank you. Oh, thank you.

Thank you. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Uh, so guys, this episode, if I did my math correct, is being released on Veterans Day weekend. And I don't know if you know, Veterans Day was originally armistice day, which celebrated the end of World War One. And I think it speaks volumes about some of the issues in American society that a holiday You know, Veterans Day was originally Armistice Day, which celebrated the end of World War One.

I think it speaks volumes about some of the issues in American society that a holiday celebrating the end of fighting was turned into a holiday honoring the act of having fought with the concept of fighting. This was originally an anti-war holiday. And I think all of the three of us are generally against wars. But how do we feel about it? Unless it's set setting the grim darkness of the far future. Sure, of course. But even though we may be. Yeah. Or they're, yeah,

I mean, the far future or the far past a star war. Yeah, Danes and Danes big fan of bride wars. Yeah, that's possible. Yeah, that's yeah, you're right. There's a lot of wars out there that you guys like Cola Wars and so forth. Storage wars. Yeah, storage wars went heavier. But this was an anti-war holiday. And I know how you feel about wars now, but how do you feel about anties? That's right. Today's game is called anti-war war of the anties, because ants are a special kind of family

member. They're like your mom only not. They're like a weird mom. Oh, you're talking about the ants. Yeah. Because I thought you were talking about the little insects. No, no, we're not talking about the Oh, you're talking about the aunts because I thought you were talking about the little insects. No, no, we're not talking about the little insects. We're talking about both aunts. The pronunciations are perfectly. I mean, I come from we say aunts, but that's okay. Let me just put up my background. Oh, no, that's the insect. I'm so sorry, guys.

The lizards that only get sick. So guys, do either of you have aun or ants? What's your experience with ants? Um, yeah, I have, and my aunt Arlene on my father's side. Oh, the dark yellow dot. And Arlene! I saw her a lot more when I was younger. I hadn't seen her in a while, but I did see her recently. My brother Robert's wedding.

Congratulations, my brother Robert. Yeah, I see a little deal. So that sounds like your Ann Arlene is really a minor player in that story. I do. My, I don't think my, I think my mom just had brothers. I don't recall ever having an aunt of the aunt. Oh, the male version of Ann, which is called an uncle.

Yeah, sometimes you can have an aunt by marriage. Mm-hmm. Very true. I have a lot of tic-tas as an answer called in the Philippines on Audrey side, certainly. I think it was also pointing out that your mother's brothers might have gotten married and those would also, their, their spouses. And mother's brothers might, yeah, that's true. I did have, use the thing. So this has been a real learning experience for Dan. I really expanded

the definition of on. What a fucking journey. Yeah. I was going to be such a quest for self-discovery. You know, for whatever reason, I didn't really sort of see my mother's family as much. So when you watch the show, Mama's family, you were like, this is like a vision of this dream. What is this? Yeah. Mama's family? Yeah, but like I, the certainly any maternal aunts I may have had were minor players in my life.

That's all I'm saying. Okay. Well, that's more about Dan's family than I thought we'd go into, but you guys extended it. Do you have any? Do you have any? Yeah. It's free as with aunts.

Oh, yeah. My, my mother's brother married a woman and though he has passed on, she is still somewhat in my life, although she is like a weird Trump supporter and like an anti-vaxxer. So she's not that big in my life. And then my father, sister, my aunt Sherry shout out to aunt Sherry is alive and well in a little place called Cincinnati, Ohio or Cincinnati, if you're, if you're, if you're if you're if you're Miss Jackson or Or Cincinnati because there's an that lives there. I myself have I'm It's hot and clueless which is very big among aunts. I think as a

It's sure and I myself have have three aunts or aunts as I would say being from New Jersey I'm aunt by blood my aunt Wendy and to answer by marriage, my ant Carol, and my ant Judy. So let but ants there, it's a different kind of relationship. Like I said, they're like your moms, but not exactly. They're a little, sometimes coochier, and they're a little sometimes, eviller. So in a flavoring theft of Stuart's horror monster episodes that we had recently, his minis, I'm going to have us look at some of the greatest ants in cinema and rate how they do in several categories of stereotypical antness.

Now, those categories are category one wickedness, some ants are wicked. Category two, coolness. We all know about the cool ant, you know, who's like cooler than your mom. And category three, wackiness slash kooky-ness because that's a thing that ants have also. And also, we're going to have a lucky dip category. I am flagrantly ripping off Stuart's structure. I love it. I love it.

Now I have a real question. Now I think it's already been covered by the other categories. But when you say wicked, you're meaning the general definition of the term, not to say Boston definition of the term. No, exactly. So Boston Ant might be wicked and meaning like cool. But I mean, that's a different category. This is wicked as in like, you know, the musical wicked.

It's stepmother, which is the family member that I associate I mean, but that's a different category. This is wicked as in like, you know, the musical wicket. A stepmother, which is the family member that I associate with being stares at the wicket, even though I know that there's a weird anti-adoption stance. Very much so. There are many said others who are not wicked. I have a stepmother who is not wicked. I've never found her to be wicked. Yeah.

Yeah, but I accept her the Boston system. I didn't know that on or on says I actually also grew up saying and for some reason I've never found her to be wicked. Yeah. Yeah, but I didn't know that on or ants as I actually also grew up saying and for some reason I've switched over the years just because people make fun of me. I don't know that they have been known to be particularly wicked, but-

Well, I think you might be surprised by some of the ants that we talk about in this episode then. They are sometimes wicked, sometimes not. Now, I should mention there are a lot of horror exploitation movies about ants that like have become obsessed with their nephews. I don't think we're really going to be talking about too much of that.

That's not, that's not, I don't know, it sounds intriguing. Is there a lot of things that I need to dive into at this moment? Maybe a website you could point me towards. Yeah, maybe a website that collects, I don't know short films. Just like a film, independent for a film. Just like a film is about like if you're stuck in a washing machine, what how would you do? No, no, no. It's more like a professional production right there. Yeah, this is a, this is a, this is a road I was hoping not to go down. A goodbye yellow brick road. Turn away from it.

Don't want to go down that one. The yellow brick road to Stucktown. Sure. Sure. So here's, so we'll talk about number one. My first one, let's go to the film James and the giant peach where we find Antspunch and Antspiker played by Miriam Margolis and of course the legendary Joanna Lumley. And they're referred to, do you need a description of these ants?

I should ask that. Let me know if you need a description of these ants, or if you're familiar with these ants. I am familiar with these ants. And again, there is also an insect ant in James and the giant peach that is not the one I am talking about. I just saw an interview with Miriam Margolis where she was on what like Graham Norton or something. She talks about the time. First time she met Lawrence Olivier and how she creamed her niggas. And it left everyone. Yeah, it wasn't a dry in the house.

We're niggas, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Side trip. I think this could have been the most family friendly episode of the flop house. And you guys have consistently taken us to this. This is arguably about family for the listeners, Ali. I think you should describe the answer anyway. Yes. So, Ants Spong and Ants Spiker, as the names probably tell you and their ants in a royal

doll story. So that tells you more. They're referred to on Wikipedia as statistic and domineering. They do not take, they are taking care of their nephew, the titular James, and they come into possession of the titular giant peach. They don't treat James well, and they see the giant peach only as a way to make money and not as a home for several giant bugs, including a talking ant voiced by what Richard Dreyfus, I think, in the movie. And so eventually, they end up attacking their nephew James with axes later in the film. So guys, how would you rate them in these categories?

Spongebob Spiker. First wickedness on a scale from one to 10. I mean, like the axis is a dead giveaway. So we're already talking, that's above five already. Yeah, I'm going to say an eight, that's pretty, that's pretty rugged. Okay, still leaving a little bit of room for, for wiggle. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that might be misunderstood. Well, there's like an, you know, I mean, there's an absolute scale. Like if the, you know, if we put these people at 10 and then there's some serial murdering, uh, that's a good later, you know, the day on our faces. I mean, as, as

dog characters, I don't know, uh, ants that might be involved in the tech sector. Yeah. As, as dog characters, I think that, you know, they have to rate pretty high though. So I'm also going to get within eight. Okay. I'm going to go to a nine on this. They're very mean. They try to kill their nephew with an X. I'm going to go, it doesn't, to me, it doesn't get more like that. What about coolness? How cool do these have sound? One of them is joined alumni. So I'm going to give them at least a six.

Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. Yeah, there's, I mean, their names are sponge and spiker. Yes, they sound pretty calm. One of them is Joanne alumni. And your amorgullus is awesome too. Yeah, that's true. And orphan that's been dumped on them. If you're like their friends,

like they would be great at like brunch, say. So I'm gonna say seven. They definitely have like a mean brunch where they're like making fun of everybody else in the place, you know. So what would you say? Yeah, I'm gonna say seven. They definitely have like a mean brunch where they're like making fun of everybody else in the place. So what would you say? Yeah, I'm gonna say seven as well. Okay.

And whacking-ness slash kooky-ness. Ooh, pretty kooky. Are there specific kooky things you can remind me of? I mean, just a general royal dolly-ness of their character. Yeah, that does give you a few points already. Heightened and cartoonish. Yeah, it's a high full hair, don't they? Yeah, their hair is kind of wacky.

Okay, I'll go with the six, not the most wacky because there's access involved. I'm actually going to give them a five. I feel like no royal doll character can be less than a five, but it's not like they're like fun wacky kooky. And I feel like a wacky kooky aunt, that's an aunt who is fun up to a certain point when it stops being fun. Yeah. So Dan, what would you get?

So certain number of drinks, maybe that I'm going to say I'll go with five, two. I think that's okay. Okay. Now it's time for a lucky dip. So who's going to choose? Who's going to choose the category, a number between one and ten. That's all I need. I'm going to do number seven.

Number seven. Okay. How would these ants be at committing a murder? Well, they'd be bad at it because they attempted and don't succeed at chopping James to bits, right? That's fair. They do not, and they also attack him in public with the axes, which seems like to take sure, sure.

I mean, they have the will. So yeah, that's the thing. Like, what is good at attempting a murder mean? It doesn't necessarily mean that they get away with it. It means that they are good at committing a murder. Not attempting a murder, committing a murder. No, I'm saying so. But they, oh, they couldn't do it, and knock it away.

That's true. The measure is whether they accomplish the murder or not. And they don't do it. But they do as Ellie, sorry, as Stewart says, they have the will, like clearly, they have the murderous rage in them. So, yeah, but if you like, if, if you're like interviewing candidates to commit a murder for you and they're like, yeah, we tried once in public and it just didn't work. And you're like, yeah, but the first first time trying to kill was like a super soldier. No, it was a little kid.

He was in a giant beach. Yeah, that's true. The kid, I, I'm gonna go with five, I guess. Five, okay, Stu, what do you say? I'm just giving them a four. Four, wow, I'm gonna give them a six at least, because I feel like if they did, if they had tried it in private,

they could have killed that, that could be dead by now. They'd be burying his body and the peach in the backyard. Okay, so that's Spungent Spiker. Let's move on to our next aunt. Okay. This is Robin Wright as Anteopee in Wonder Woman. This is Wonder Woman's aunt. She is a warrior, a master of combat. She trains Diana as a warrior. And so. She's sort of a surrogate mother, right? Yes. I mean, Wonder Woman's mother, her palata is around, but she's a little distant. You know, I think she has a stronger relationship with her aunt and with her mother in some ways. Yeah.

Okay. So let's look at those categories again. The first category of course is wickedness. I think that's pretty low. I think she doesn't have any ulterior motives, she's not. The Amazon are kind of presented in general as being ultra pure and she's, you know, very noble. Yeah, very noble.

So I'm going to say one on the way. Okay. And Stuart, what are you going to say? Yeah, there's no, I don't, I don't see any like, I don't see any darkness hidden by the, by their, their whole thing. So I'm going to go with a one as well. I'm going to say a three just because she is very violent and short sometimes violence may be called for in self defense, but I think she kind of likes it. I think she's kind

of, she's to the she likes having an opportunity to let her, her inner Wolverine come out, you know, to mix publishers. Okay. Now what about coolness? How cool is this? I'll mind you. She's a ass Amazon warrior. Who trains one to one? Yeah, that's that's high. That's that's very high. Easily easily in eight, right? Eight or nine. Yeah, I would also going to give it a shot. She'll smoke a fool, not even bad and I, you know? Yeah. She's like, you know, she's, you know, she's like letting you drink in the house because it's part of some Greek fertility right in your way. That's maybe, I mean, I guess the other Greek.

I don't... The Greek. My thing is, she's cool, but in a way that I wouldn't necessarily think that that's what I personally find cool. Okay, that's fair. You know? You don't want to hang out with her. Yeah, you know,

I would rather have the cool aunt who was like into really good music, you know, when I was young and like, treat you like that was older than I was who shows you like a punk album and she's like, you're going to like this. That kind of. Yeah. But I mean, there is inherent coolness that I think I even say that I'll also go with a date. Oh, wow. You really talked yourself into reversing entirely on that. Okay, what about wackiness, coochiness? I'm going to give her pretty low on this one.

Yeah, I don't think that any of the Amazon are particularly cookie. They're like, they're more stayed and kind of. Very stoic. They're not fun. They're not a fun people. And that's, I think, why Diana has to leave more than anything else is there's a sense of fun about her sometimes you know yeah I'm gonna give her a two and this I'm giving a one one okay and I'm gonna give it to also because there is

something kooky about the fact that anytime they do anything you hear a female voice go yeah in the background that's good to. Okay, Dan, you want to pick the lucky dip category here? Yeah, I'll go with three. Three hosting a Passover satire. Okay. How do you think anti-anti-anti-apy will be at hosting a Passover satire? I mean, they seem to, I mean, they pretty clearly have their own religious tradition that is not Judaism and like. It's historically accurate. The Greek Amazon would not have been Jewish. And so I think that they would probably be less successful than say me at hosting a

past saver, say to her, who I at least have been to a couple. Some court courtesy of you, Elliot. That's true. I mean, but she can always reach out to Gal Gadot for pointers, right? That's true. Her niece is Jewish in real life. That's true. You know, I still can't go, I like, I'm going to say one on this.

Wow. I feel like she, she trains, she is disciplined. If she was given this task, she would attack it with full fervor. I'm going to say a seven. I think she would crush it. Why do you know how much study time there was allowed? You know, like, if this was sprung on her. It's Judaism, it's all study. It's all, like, she's, I'm going to give her a six because I also think if you gave her, you give her a hugada, you tell her how to make the things, she's gonna do it to perfection technically. But it's gonna be missing the joy of the holiday and also the kind of, I don't think she's

gonna tell the story well, you know. I think she's gonna tell us. She's not gonna reference what the creeping death or whatever. Yeah, she's not gonna. A cool aunt would do that would be like, and now let's hear a song about Passover and play creeping death. Okay, let's move on to ant number three. This is the ant from Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2 and Spider-Man 3.

That's Aunt May Rosemary Harris edition. This is the Rosemary Harris. Oh, man. Big fan. Big fan. I saw her on stage once. Oh, well, yes. Did we pee into a fountain all three of us in that year telling stories or seeing an

actual on stage? She was in a production of My Fair Lady. A long way. That's right. Laura Bonnay and Tee. See, if we clip this, you can see me pointing to the poster right behind me. If we don't clip this, that was a pointless diversion to the poster right behind me. If we don't close, that was a pointless diversion. It was a pointless point. So let's talk about Aunt May, Rosemary Harris

Edition, and the categories wickedness. Zero, negative 10. Unfortunately, we can't go lower than zero, but I'm also going to get zero out. Except for, she never got nasty with the vulture, right? That was a different Aunt May. Did the other Aunt May get involved with the vulture? Didn't Aunt May and like the comic state the vulture for a while? No, not yet. Aunt May and the comics, she became, she was no dated doctor, she almost married him. Oh, right.

Okay. And the vulture, she, well, the vulture was involved with her one time boyfriend, Nathan Lubansky, and ended up accidentally killing Nathan, I believe. But no, yes, the comic stock. The comics, Dan Lee. The comics, Aunt May, always had kind of a thing for Doc Ock. And in the comics now, she kind of plays on that.

With that hair cut, I mean, who would hell yeah? Oh, yeah. And that frame? So many hands. So, yeah, but otherwise she is the heart and soul and conscience of Spider-Man, like the greatest hero in literature. So Dan, what are you going to give her in terms of wickedness? Oh, I said zero as well.

Zero, okay. Zero for wickedness. Okay, what about coolness? Aunt May, Rosemary Harris, Dition, coolness. Pretty cool. I mean, she's cool in that old lady way, where like she has, you know, transcended ideas of caring about cool. Like she's just like-

Yeah, but I could also see her start rapping to embarrass a Peter Parker in a funny way. In a way where he's like, man, may stop it, you know? Well, I would say like, she's very sweet and she's funny in her own way. And so I'm gonna say she's a six. Six? Okay. What about you, Stuart?

I'm gonna, I'm just, I'm gonna knock at a point. I'm just gonna give her a five. Okay. I'm gonna give her a 10. Nothing's cooler than being Spider-Man's Aunt. Even if you don't know it, Spider-Man lives in your house. Amazing. Number three, you're best friend of the Spider-Man. You're best friend of the Spider-Man. You're best Number three, wacky man. You raised Spider-Man. Wackiness, cookiness, category three. I mean, she's not that wacky, but like everyone's well, she says something kind of funny in cookie. Yeah. I was all put a five. Okay. She's a little dottie, which leads to a little bit of wackackingness and tootiness. Stuart, what about you?

Yeah, I'm going to say the same thing like what, at that Thanksgiving dinner with the green goblin that's, you know, she's a little bit goofy there. That's fun. Okay, so five, I'm going to give her six because I agree, you know, but I just like her so much. And so here, so look at that category. Stuart, what is the category number? Two.

Two. Oh, taking care of you and your younger sibling after your parents die in the beginning What is the category number two two oh Taking care of you when you're younger sibling after your parents die in the beginning of the movie Park Across the No dissent on that. Okay. 10 10 10. Oh, she is showing taking care of her nephew, realness.

10s across the board. Okay, guys, but here's the thing. Coming up number four, Spider-Man Home Cummings Aunt May Marisa Tomey edition. Let's see how she stacks up in his Rosemary Harris. All right, this is the younger Aunt May. I'm beginning to see that category had a few chances of connecting. I mean, this thing is there's so many movies where an aunt has to take care of her brother or sister. That's true.

That's true. I, one of the aunts that I rejected for this was Jumanji, BB Newworth, who was in that same situation because she doesn't, doesn't make that much of an impression. I don't think you guys would remember her that well, you know, but I, she'd get a lot of affection for me for being BB Newworth. But that would be about it. Exactly. So this is Marissa Tomay's Aunt May. She's younger.

She's, I guess, briefly in a relationship with happy Hogan. And she's, she finds out about Spider-Man secret identity, something that in the, that, in the old movies, Aunt May, as far as we could tell never did. So category one wickedness. How wicked is she? Well, I would like it to be dead. A different kind of wickedness to her. Although, yeah, she does sleep with a happy who is played by what's his face.

John Favreau. John Favreau. So there's a little wickedness in that, I feel like. All right. Just because he's writing the Mandalorian at the same time, I understand. Yeah. Yeah. He was filming Chef at the same time.

I think it's just my feelings of Fapro. Okay, so that's two. Stuart, what are you getting at her? Yeah, I don't know. I'll say like a three or four. Like a four. Let's say four. Okay, I think I'm going to give it two also, because she means well, but I bet she does things that are

a little bit, a little bit notier than Rosemary Harris. At least, I mean, when Rosemary Harris was young, who knows what was happening? Sure. I mean, there was literally a terrible comic book. A lot on the streets. Yeah. A terrible comic book about Aunt May as a teenager becoming pregnant. So that was the book trouble written by Mark Miller, a writer who I've never been a fan

of. A writer with a soft touch. Yeah, exactly. So what about coolness guys, Marisa Tomeant May coolness? No, this is, I'm gonna go, I almost want to go full 10, but I'll go nine. Like, she's, you know, this is a cool ant. The only reason why I can't give her a 10 is because I've seen Mikeus and Vinnie where she plays the coolest character in the year.

That's true. Yeah. So I got to give her a nod. That's fairly in, uh, and to that movie, although maybe we don't know. Yeah. I mean, she could be an Aunt. Maybe that's why her biological clock is ticking like this. I'm assuming she is.

I mean, based on, based on traditional based on traditional New York Italian family structures. Sure. She probably is. Probably a baby. She's doing all that. And it makes sense that Vinnie, who is an uncle, would be matched up with an Ann. Yeah. Makes sense.

Okay. So, they're the perfect pair. I'm going to give her a nine also because she's pretty cool. She's pretty good about accepting that her nephew is a superhero, but not entirely. She's still a little freaked out by it. So speaking of freaking out, what about category three, wackiness, coochiness? Yeah, I mean, I've again, I think there's a little bit there. Her coochiness is diminished, I think, by the fact the existence of Marissa Tome and Mike Cousin Vinny, which would also be like a perfect 10 of coochiness.

And Marissa Tomei and before the devil knows you dead. You sure so. And then the wrestler. Zany, I don't know. I mean, maybe I'm just reacting to Marissa Tomei's general vibe rather than the character, but I'm going to give a seven. Seven? Okay.

Stu, what about you? That's a little high for me. I'm going to give her a six. Okay, I'm going to give her a five. I feel like, yeah, she is a restrained Marissatoumei depiction. Okay, lucky dip for her. It's too bad she didn't get what Rosemary Harris got.

But Dan, give us a number. The only numbers you can't pick are two, three, or seven. One. One, buying you a birthday present, you'll actually like. How do you think she'll do on this as an aunt? I, she seems like, you know, pretty involved in Peter's life. You know, he seems to love her. Like, she seems to be like really like trying to, you know, say nine. I think she pays attention. Wow. Okay. What about you Stewart? Um, yeah, this is a tough one. Okay, what about you Stewart? Yeah, this is a tough one.

I can go first if you want me to. I'm going to give her a three. I don't feel like you really like real estate. It's hard for me to see her getting. I think she's going to try, but she's going to get them trans morphers instead of transformers. Yeah, I feel like that's, she's not as connected in to what he's into, you know. Yeah, the thing is, I just keep waiting for somebody to go to Jared and they never do. I'm going to give her a five, which is an optimistic five.

Okay, optimistic five. I feel like best case scenario, she goes to the comic store and she's like, what do teenagers like, you know, and she might walk away with ghost world and he'll enjoy that, I guess, you know, we're talking about what she's getting, Peter, because if she got me what teenagers like, I'd be like, what the fuck is this? That's true. You know what, I was talking about Peter. Yes, Stuart, do you think she'd be able to get what, what would you do if Aunt May walked home and she's like, I, they said teenagers like this book and you unwrapped in its ghost world by Dan close.

I'd be like, good this, Otty. Dan, because I'm on the line. I'm on the line. Okay, moving on, let's go to, we're going to go back in the past, everybody go, go and go to the 1940s to the movie, Arsenic and Old Lace and Aunt Abby Brewster and Aunt Martha Brewster played by Josephine Hall and Gina Dare. Do you need a description? I'll give it to you.

They're a little dotty. They're a little dotty. They're a little absent-minded. Carrie Grant is their nephew. They accept that their other nephew thinks he's Teddy Roosevelt and yells charge every time he goes up the stairs. But they also have a hobby of inviting lonely unmarried men into their house and then poisoning them and bearing their bodies in the basement. So let's talk about these ants on the scale wickedness.

We were just put them on wickedness. This is going to be a complicated one for them. This is a, yeah, morally complicated because they are murder, they are serial murderers, like I said before, but in this case they're doing it out of a belief that it is what is best for these lonely men. They think they're helping them, yes. Now, the lonely men are never asked their opinions on the issue. It's not their opinion. There's a certain objective nature that we're getting this.

It's like having the skin not all relative to intent because as we know, the road to hell is paid with good intentions. So I'm still going to, I think I'm going to give them a seven for wickedness. Okay. A seven. What about you Stewart? You know, I, I'm not super, I feel like I've never seen this. So I'm just going to give it a seven.

I'm going to trust Dan. I'm going to give them a six. They are objectively murderous. They are killing lots of people. But yeah, but I think I'm going to give their intent a little more. They're not doing it for wicked reasons. If you said to them, oh, but men don't like to be murdered. They'd be like, oh, we'll stop doing it then. So I get no one has known has taught them, you know, category two. Carrie Grant just decide to try try that. I forget. I don't know why, category two. I just carry grand just decide to try that. I forget. I don't know why he doesn't. I don't want to want to explain.

Well, the carry ground in the movie is not the normal swath, carry grant. We know he's a lot more. He's a goofy. He's a goofy and hyper and not not the original first choice for the character. Uh, he's what like a dog that wears clothes. He's a big dog. And he's like, who are you? No poison those guys.

Woo. Yeah. Um, he has his own dog that doesn't talk. Anyway, or maybe it's as we've talked about, maybe it's some kind of sex game where his best friend is that we're still kind of sex game where Pluto pretends that he can't talk, who knows. So category two, coolness. How cool are these little old ladies? I mean, I guess it's kind of metal

that they're killing all these guys. That's pretty cool. I'll give them a four. Okay. Stuart, what about you? I mean, again, I'm going to have to take your word for it. I'm going to have to say a four as well. Okay.

I'm going to give them a three. I'm going to give them a three. It is pretty metal, I guess, but I don't want to reward them too much for it. And now about whackiness, coochiness. Well, this is just really depends on how coochie you find murder. to watch for it. And now about whacking-ness, cookiness. Well, this is just really depends on how kooky you find murder, because they're pretty daddy and zany.

They're pretty pixelated, as they would say, back in olden days. But did that specifically mean that they were drinking a lot? That's the part of that. Not well, people say the idea was that you, maybe it was meant that way. The way I've heard it used, like, in Mr. Deeds, goes to town, is the idea that you're a weird meant that way. The way I've heard it used like in Mr. Deeds goes to town is the idea that like you're a weirdo, like the pixies have taken you away, not the bands, the pixies, which I'm sure

for a certain, I'm sure Aunt May Maristatome addition saw the pixies live when she was younger, you know. Uh-huh. Yeah. I mean, look, I think their absolute score would be higher if their zaniness and result in murder, but I'll give them an eight. An eight?

Okay, what about you Stewart? I mean, that does sound pretty zany. I'll give them an eight. I mean, I'm giving them a 10. They are fucking kooky. They are, they are a kooky couple of fans. They're creepy. They're kooky.

They're okey. They're okey as shit. Okay. So let's do the lucky dip category. Dan, I think it's your turn to choose. The numbers available are four, five, six, eight're cookie, they're okey, they're okey as shit. Okay, so let's do the lucky dip category, Dan. I think it's your turn to choose. The numbers available are 456, 8, 9, 10. 10. Okay, so how good do they be at suddenly leading you

out of the room while your parents get into an argument? Hmm. You know what, I think they'd be good at this. They like, just by all the murder, they're very warm, and they care about their nephew. I'm gonna give them an eight. Okay, and they know subtlety, because they've been getting away with murder for years.

For years, yeah, yeah, this all adds up. Yeah, I think an eight sounds from what information I have. I love eight sounds. That's right. I think I'm gonna give them a seven, because it could go either way. They're also pretty wacky. So I could see them going, oh, well, let's go into the other room.

You know, something like that, you know, something that calls a little too much attention. Okay, moving on to a break. We've got a break coming up, guys. Let's talk about who our sponsors are for this. The, what am I calling this again? Oh, yeah. Anti-war war of the Antes. Dan, who's bringing him this episode to this list?

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Why don't you head to squarespace.com, slash flop for free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use offer code, flop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. The Vopiles is also sponsored in part by NordVPN. Now NordVPN is an easy-to-use VPN. You can connect with one click or enable AutoConnect. They have almost 6,000 servers in 60 different

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plan plus four months for free. Go to NordVPN.com slash flop house. It's completely risk-free with Nord's 30-day money back guarantee. That's NordVPN.com slash flop house. And since this is a mini, I won't take up too much more time. Well, we've got some exciting flop house stuff to talk about. Flop TV continues a pace are monthly online live broadcast that you can watch the recordings, TV version of the Flop House podcast. Our next episode is December 2nd. We'll be talking ballistic X versus Sever.

That's at 9 PM Eastern, 6 PM Pacific, the first Saturday in December, December 2nd, one day before my birthday. And you can watch the recording afterwards if you can't make it for the broadcast. Get your tickets or season passes at theflophouse.simpletix.com. And if you're thinking, there's only like two episodes left. Why would I get a season pass? The season pass get to access to all of the previous episode recordings so you get to watch all six episodes. Those are still up. If you have a season pass, you can watch them whenever you want, all the time. Just be it like Pluto TV and just have it

run constantly. You can do that. Yeah, you can watch these old shows and see how much we've aged and changed over the last six months. Yeah, exactly. Oh, horribly, in my case. So the other thing that's exciting, we're not just doing stuff on your screen. We're doing stuff in front of your very eyes. If you live in one of the four cities that we will be traveling to at the end of January for our flop house, West Coast store, it's a get not West Coast store, which it sounded like I said, but a West Coast tour, a tour of West Coast cities, four dates, four cities were calling it Eras. That's a new name I came up with. And we can announce two of those dates right now, two of them are still being confirmed. On January 25th at 8 p.m. we will be in Portland, Oregon at

the Aladdin theater. It's a wish come true. So for tickets, go to Aladdin-Theter.com. It's dash the mark, not dash the word, Aladdin-Theter.com. That's January 25th at 8 p.m. in Portland, Oregon. And January 28th at 7 p.m. we'll be in Los Angeles, California, at the Regent Theatre. Go to RegentDTLA.com. We'll be announcing our other dates soon and we'll announcing what movies will be watching soon. We have to figure those out and they will be exciting. We may have some other figures in my out to get a prize if they figure it out. We have to figure them out. I'm going to give you 26 letters and you have to pick which ones are in the movie titles. I have some non-flop house news that I'm excited about. Next year I'm going to be doing

another podcast, not with these two guys, although I love them more than any else. They are my best beloved. See, it's like a weird place to say. Same. Instead, I'm going to be doing a year-long podcast next year with one, Roman Mars. That's right. Roman.

The monster from the robot monster movie. No. The Roman god of Mars, the, you know, of Mars, the, yeah, the war God. Roman Mars from 99% visible and I will be co-hosting a podcast about the power broker. That's right next year is the 50th anniversary of my favorite book, The Power Boker, Robert Carrows, Masterpiece, Brick of a Thome about what happens to a city when one man manages to amass all the power in it and literally reshape the physical infrastructure of the city in the way he wants to, not listening to anybody else.

It's a great book, if you've never read it, get yourself a copy, read along with us. It's gonna be a monthly podcast all through next year and we'll be doing kind of introductory episode that should come out in December and we'll be interviewing famous people. We talked to Conan O'Brien already. It'll be great.

I'll tell you the title of the podcast when I know what it is. It makes me so happy that Elliott's dreams coming true. It's like if, like I got to do a podcast all about like Warhammer or Dan got to do a podcast all about, I mean, you did get your music CDs and stuff. A brain and a tube. Oh yeah.

So I feel like you guys just dreamt about your dreams. Yeah, Dan, you're really behind on your dreams coming true stuff. Dan, Dan. I think that's the next thing. We should, we should start one of those make a wish thing. Dan's dream come true. Yeah. Figure out the same thing. It'll be great. And finally, one last thing is the comic series I have right now, Disney villains, Hades is coming out now from Dynamite Comics, check comic stores to five issue series as it is recording. The first three issues have come out.

Those are all the ads and things, stay tuned for more information on our flop live shows and on that Powerbroker podcast. What is up people of the world? Do you have an argument that you keep having with your friends and you just can't seem to settle it and you're sitting there arguing about whether it's Star Trek or Star Wars or you can't decide what is the best nut or can't agree on what is the best cheese? Stop doing that! Listen to me got this with Mark and Hal only on Max Fun.

Your topics ask and answer objectively, definitively, for all time. So don't worry, everybody. We got this. We got this. Hey, Sydney, you're a physician and the co-host of Sobhones, a marital tour of misguided medicine, right? That's true, Jessen. Is it true that our medical history podcast is just as good as a visit to your primary care physician? No, Jessen, that is absolutely not true. However, our podcast is funny and interesting and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past as well as some current not-so-legit healthcare fats. So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people feel better. Sure. Isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor?

Well, you could say that. And our podcast is free? Yes, it is free. You heard it here first, folks. Sawbones, Marleter, misguided medicine, right here on Maximum Fund, just as good as going to the And our podcast is free. Yes, it is free. You heard it here first folks, saw bones, Meryl Turf, misguided the medicine right here on Maximum Fund, just as good as going to the doctor. No, no, no, still not just as good as going to the doctor,

but pretty good. It's up there. Are you guys ready to get back to the war of the Antis as we talk about? I cannot wait. I cannot wait. On the edge of my seat, even though I paid for the whole fucking thing. Yeah, we've got fire.

It's got in my whole. Yeah. Paid for Dan's chair. If you pay, I gotta stop this. Yeah, there was a guy outside the door that said I had to pay him's for the use of a chair. I could be profiteering off a steward. Yeah.

You should be doing that, as if you're not already, but anyway. I guess so. I mean, I think of it is like a mutual, like, that's a symbiotic relationship. It's like, it's like one of Sharkas, one of those little guys creeping on the belly. Yeah, it's called the remora. Eating the food off of Stuart's belly.

All the stuff that falls at a Stuart's mouth goes into dance mouth, yeah. And if you want to join only fans, you can see that happen. Yeah, if you want to, if, uh to run, don't walk to your drawing easels and give us a fan art. You use your imagination in anything's possible. Yeah. So, uh, like this is a monkey's ball, which a monkey's ball, which like a sandwich of the

monkey's part. It's a good idea. It's a good idea. First, and then it doesn't feel so good in your tummy. No, not at all. You really regret it. So here's our next app. We're going to talk about anti-mame or anti-mame

played by Rosland Russell. You guys are familiar with her? She's a flamboyant society hostess. She's a world traveler. She's always showing her nephew a good time and eventually saves him from marrying into a family of anti-Semites. So let's talk about anti-mame. let's talk about the movie, the original movie, not the musical main we're talking about.

This is, no, this is, no, this is this is the same thing. I mean, they're all versions of the same story. Okay. It's a universal story that Joseph Campbell talks about in his books, The Story of Antimame. This is the movie Antimame, but it is a musical, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. No, that's what I thought that it just a matter.

There's also, well, there's also, Mame is the one that I believe starts Lucille Ball, right? Yeah, that's what I was very interested in. Yeah, which is not the one I'm talking about. That one is no good. So this is anti-mame guys, where would you call it? Put it on a wickedness.

Now, she's a high society hostess. She does a lot of partying. Okay, there's a potential for wickedness. Yeah, here's the thing. I have not, I'm in Stuart's boat, except for I don't have a dandelion. I like, I don't Stuart's boat, except for I don't have a Dan to lean on. Like I don't really know this movie. I like to stand on or a Dan to lean on.

Yeah, I don't think I've watched either. So when did this movie come out? Antimame or maim. No, this, so this, oh no, this is not the musical version. I'm sorry, yeah, this one does not have music in it. This is the, so this movie came out in 1958. Fuck. It's based on the play maim, which is based on the novel anti-mame.

So- Wow, they just keep going back and forth. Yeah, they can't figure it out. It's like they kept putting the VOD back on Facebook every few years. Yeah. Yeah. And this is, this is starring Rosalind Russell, you know from his girl Friday. I don't.

Okay. What about you. Yeah. Yeah. And this is this is starting Rosland Russell. You you know from his girl Friday. I don't. Okay. Yeah. Oh, she's good. Yeah. Um, I don't know wickedness. I'm gonna give her what now what does she do again? She's like a stage mom or something. No, no, no, she's just she's like a big party party. She killed a lady. She's a she doesn't kill anybody. She's flamboyant, exuberant. She's a sickle of wickedness because I bet she, I mean, depends on what you think of substance abuse as well. Yeah, just be saying a lot. Yeah. Just be safe. I'm going to give her a five. Just because I'm a smear her. The thing is, it's hard to know by the 50s standards, she's

very wicked. One of her best friends is a nudist. You know, she's involved with stage people. But by modern day things, but she's good at heart. She's good at heart to everybody. So I think I'm gonna give her a four. Okay. Okay, next we've got category two, coolness. How cool is she? I mean, the name is cool. She does, I mean, she sounds pretty cool with all these parties. Yeah. Parties are naturally parties.

Sure. Yeah. Cool. I mean, if you're going to get to happen, you know, that's why like cool guys are always dealing party. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. They're very, they they rarely yell no parties, please. Yeah, keep it down. A quiet night at home on the couch. I'm studying. Yeah. I'm going to give her an eight for this. Sounds pretty cool. Sounds pretty cool, but once again, I don't know for sure. So I'm going to say a seven. Okay, I'm giving her a nine. She is really cool. You're still relying on me just undercutting me every time.

Even though dad is clever girl. In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. So yeah, that's the fact that you have a little bit of frame of reference. But I have a vague idea of what this thing is. Yeah, so let's talk about category three, wackiness, kooky-ness. Oh, I think that this is one of the classic kooky ants for, right? Oh, for sure. A nine.

Okay. Stewart. Like, Stewart, in your expert opinion, not relying on Dan, what do you think? Okay, does she wear like normal clothes? Or does she wear like, I don't know, like patchwork clothes and like a pod on her head? No, she does do that. I think of her as like feather boas, long cigarette holders, that kind of stuff, you know. It's not that kooky though, man. That's pretty normal. Uh, for what situation though? Yeah, I'm gonna say six. Six.

Okay. I'm giving her a nine. She's pretty damn kooky and pretty wacky. She reminds me a little bit of, when I was in college, I talked about how my grandmother would take me to the theater. And one of my other classmates imagined that she was like a lady with a long cigarette holder and a turban with a jewel in the front and a feather boa who's always like, darling, let's go to the theater, which is not what my grandmother is like.

But that's more of what an anti-main is like. Okay, that's anti-main. So let's go to our lucky dip category. Stu, I think it's your turn to choose. Five. Five. Okay. How would she do at letting you smoke pot in her house? 100%. This lady is like, no bones about it. You can spark that shit up. She's like, I have one rule. You cannot smoke pot in my house unless you share. spark that shit up. She's like, I have one rule. You cannot smoke out in my house unless you share. Like that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, she'd call them jazz cigarettes, but I'm going to give her a 10 for this as well. Yeah, so Stuart, what would you say? 10 also. Yeah, 10, 10,

10, 10, 10, 10, 10. Yeah, 10, 10, 10. She is giving reefer realness in this, in this one. So, let's move on to, oh, another, another aunt who is also kind of a a partier in some ways when maybe it's not quite as positive This is Aunt April start played by Taraji P. Henson in I can do bad all by myself the Tyler Perry film based on the play of the same name also by Tyler Also both obviously very familiar with yeah, so I know you guys know who this is so I'll just I'll give you a brief This is just for the listener you guys guys are from the other way. Sure. She's an alcoholic nightclub saying her she can barely be bothered to take care of her orphaned niece and nephew

until eventually she overcomes her traumatic history of abuse, finds a good man, recognizes that she needs to take care of these kids and kicks those bad habits. That's Aunt April. Classic Catholic Mary stuff. I mean, basically, I just gave you the plot in a nutshell, essentially. Yeah. So in terms of wickedness, where would you put Aunt April?

Well, she's redeemed, but it sounds like she was pretty wicked before then. I'll put her at a six, I guess. Okay. I'm going to go a little higher. I'm going to go seven because it sounds like, I mean, there is her redemption, but, you know, it's a rocky, rocky road to get there. I'm going to go seven also, but I'm judging by Tyler Perry standards. By, I mean, by Tyler Perry standards, probably a nine, but because she eventually, I think she prays, and it helps. Let's go to number two, coolness. Now, remind you, she is a nightclub singer.

And it is Teraji P. Henson. Yeah. And she can do bad all by herself. She doesn't need anyone's help to do bad. Is that, is that mean that she could, anyway? I don't know, I don't know where he was, I don't know where his mind was going. Don't want to know.

It's a masturbation joke. Uh, I, what? I just, I just, I don't know. There's only one aunt on this list who's okay with that. And that's anti-mame. She's like, you can do it in my house as long as the door is closed. It sounds like she's mean though. Like, it sounds like she's cool, but it sounds like she's mean. You might say she's cool, but rude like Raphael.

Yeah, I'm gonna give her a six for this. Okay. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go a little higher. I'm gonna say seven because cool, but rude like Raphael. Yeah, I'm gonna give her a six for this. Okay. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go a little higher, I'm gonna say seven, because she is a nightclub singer and that's, and it's terashi. Yeah, I'm gonna give her a seven also for that reason, cool, but rude. What about wackiness, cootiness? Nothing you've said so far would indicate cootier wackiness.

And also she is appearing in a movie in which Medea, Tyler Perry's drag and a drag, a grandma character appears. So that automatically everyone else had a lower level of coochiness than Medea. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the, the, the, the borders of reality have shifted when some theater and truth through. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're in the house on the borderlands, yeah, in this one, yeah. I like, I thought I was, this was the sandbox that I was existing in, but it's much different. It's a little bit like if you're watching the movie spotlight, and then one of the reporters was Foszy Bear, and you're like, hold on a second, this isn't the movie I thought it was. Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, that's, this is all good reasons why. In a way, you are pointing out one of, kind of, one of the great things about Medea as a

character is that she is almost a muppet like she is intermuppet territory. Oh, for sure. I, this sounds like, yeah, I'm going to give it a two. Okay, Stu. Uh, yeah, I think I'm going to go two as well. Seems she does not seem wacky. Okay, a two from Stu, I'm also going to give, I'm going to give a one. And especially her pet, her backstory is very, is very traumatic and very unfun.

So I'm going to give her a one for wackiness. But okay, is Dan, is it your turn to choose the delivery? Yeah, I don't know. Okay, so this is better at this point. No, not really. But Dan, this is scientific measurement. Yeah, this is important. I can get kicked out of the AOC, the Ant Olympic Committee.

So it's not the, not the the AOC, the Ant Olympic Committee. So it's not the not the famous AOC. It's a lesser known one. Okay. So Dan, here are the here the numbers four or five, and I'm sorry, four, six, eight, and nine, eight. Ooh, ruining a wedding by getting drunk. Do you think that April on 10, it sounds like it tended me. Yeah, what little I know, I'm not going to have to say that. That's the best thing I've ever done. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that.

I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that.

I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to say that. I'm not going to have to tell you anything about her. You should know everything you need to know. It's one of the greatest movies ever made, iconic character, iconic aunt, Auntie M.

Well. Taking care of Dorothy. I would argue that she's an iconic aunt, mostly by virtue of Dorothy saying Auntie M, Auntie M, over and over again. She doesn't get a lot of like, like, there's not a lot of time spent on who Auntie M is a character. I would disagree. I would disagree. She is caring.

She's a good boss. She brings out crawlers to her workers, but she's also stern. She's like, get back to work. She makes Dorothy give her dog to Miss Gulch, because the law says so. But then she says to Miss Gulch, the immortal line, for years I've been waiting to tell you what I think of you. But being a Christian woman, I can't and leaves the room in tears. This is she I feel like she's a fully fleshed out character nearly as much as say I don't

have a friend. I mean, not all of time spent, but they're what? Sorry, what did you say? I compared to Anna Karinina from the Toll Swoon, not with a mom, not an aunt. It's not aunt Karinina or Anna Karinina, aunt. No, no, I mean, I guess you're right that this is a great example of a lot being done with a little. Yes, yes, she makes the most of every moment. Okay, what's the first category? So I would argue that the fact that she's willing to cow-tow to human law over what is right, I'm going to give her at least two here.

Two. Okay, for the same reason, I'm going to give her a one, because otherwise she is the spirit of wholesome, all-American farm life, you know, and it's in its greatest form. But you're right. When up against the monolith that is the law, she refused, she doesn't say, fuck you, Miss Gulch, and then what shoot her in the head and then go on the land. Thelma and Louise style with Dorothy and Toto.

Leaving Uncle Henry to pick up the pieces of his shattered life. It would be a pretty good movie though. Yeah. Chris, Chris, from McDonald Play, Uncle Henry. Oh, yeah. Of course you get back here, Ranny M. You get back here. Yeah, that's the movie that should have been made instead of whatever that James Franco was the wizard movie was.

Oh, that was the great, powerful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they drive over the rainbow at the end, you know, it's a different, it's a different sort of film. Yeah, yeah, they could do that. That reminds me, guys, my kids really want to go see Wonka when it comes out. Should I be dissuading them from this or should I just go with it? Because right now I'm just going with it. I'm like fine.

Why don't I want to see Wonka? Have you let him watch the trailers and shit? No, they just know it exists. They love the original Willy Wonka movie. They love Timothy Chalamet. Yeah, because they've heard about his NYU exploits. They know about, they know about how as a kid he used to sell personalized N64 controllers online. I like him because he looks like he's about my side. Yeah. They're like, finally an actor, my age.

No, no, no, he's actually a grown man. I mean, here's the, I saw the second Wonka trailer and I was like, you know what? If I release all of my knowledge of the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Raldall, Willie Wonka and how Wonka's that character exists, like, if I just think of this as an entirely different thing, it looks like it could be charming because it's got, you know, I think you're right. If I, if I, if I'd stopped trying to compare it to the Gene Wilder, really, Wanka, then I think you're right.

So that makes it takes us to category two. Coolness. How cool is the MDM? I was gonna say like if you're gonna, if you're, if you're gonna try and cast a movie to tie it in with the Gene Wilder, really, Wanka, you got to cast that Jeremy Allen White, because that kid kind of looks more like Gene Wouter with his little owl face. Jeremy Alan White. I don't know that he's the figure.

Yeah, but he's enormous. I don't want a wanker who's like, but he's not enormous. He's very short, but he's a wide short. Yeah, he's girthy. Yeah, he's short but girthy. Yeah, that's not the walk in my mind. We call it yoked. We in the plate pushing. Yeah, in the plate, in the plate stacking.

The pushers, the plates, the stacks. So coolness, and damn coolness. She doesn't have to make crawlers. That's not I think she's very low on the coolness. This is she. She's not a fucking good hang. My mom told me tales of her strict Methodist upbringing where dancing and cards

were not allowed and I'm sure. Well, how would you dance in a card? I don't understand. Like Allison Wonderland. I'm sure anti-M is kind of in that same area. Yes. I think you're probably right. We're gonna give a one to this.

Okay. Five's are terrible. Give her a one. Okay. I'm gonna give her a two, I guess, because she can make good crawlers, but not a little bit for anti-M so far. Chategory three, this isn't gonna go for two, well for either, I think wackiness, cookiness.

Oh, yeah, that's very cooky. Whoa. I mean, let's not just think of her. You can go into another dimension and see like flying monkeys and crap. Yeah. That's true. When Darthi's best friends are a talking scare crow, a robot that keeps

freezing up and a sc- and a cowardly lion, it's hard for- Yeah, you keep going. Yeah, you keep going while she's literally in black and white. Yeah. And somehow even if Medea walked into that world, she would still be the cookiest thing in the entire universe. Here. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. One for cookie, I think. Yeah. Yep, just a one. I think I'm actually going to give her a zero for that one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, one for Kookie, I think. Yeah. Yep, just a one. I think I'm actually going to give her a zero for that one. Oh, good. Ant-m. Not great scores for Ant-m in this arbitrary ranking system. So Stuart, or is it Dan, who's going to pick the category for?

I will. I'm going to do it. Okay, four, six, or nine. I'm going to do four. Okay. How could you be referring to a story about your parents that your parents would prefer you not hear about? Oh, um, like starting to say something and then your mom or dad being like, we don't need to tell that story. Hmm. I feel like anti-him seems like the soul of

propriety. Yeah. I don't think she would, like anything a little on towards. She would naturally steer away from. I mean, she can't even bring herself to insult the mean lady who just stole her niece's dog. So yeah, I think she's pretty controlled. I'm gonna give her a zero to be asked. I still won. I'm gonna do a one because like, I think there's certain things that maybe her mouth would get ahead of her brain, but yeah. I could see, you know what, I'll give her a one, because I could see her telling the story where she's being judgmental about your parents.

Exactly. In the parents of, yeah. Okay, from anti-M, there's only one place to go. That's right. Anti-Karai Housu from the film Housu played by Yoko Minamita. Now this is the owner of the titular Housu, the house who, as you know, she died in World War II waiting for her fiance. She has returned as a ghost who eats unmarried girls who come to her house. So, category one wickedness.

How do you, how do you feel about this, Auntie? Pretty high. That's a high one. That's a high wickedness. I'll mention again that she eats girls. Yeah. Yes, eat girls. So I think it's partly maybe it's not one because she's become a supernatural character, but I'm still going to go with a nine. Yeah, okay, a nine and so what about you? I'm giving a 10 for this one. Yeah, I'm doing 10 all the way, baby. Not just the girls.

She eats unmarried girls, so she's not only eating human beings, but she's also reinforcing a patriarchal system. Yeah. That's the way. Hey, you're safe if you don't get married, or if you get married. So category two, coolness. Now, this way, I'd surprise you guys. I'm going to give her a 10 on this one because she's pretty, she's got a real style to her. She's got an eyeball on her mouth. Like why not? Yeah. I mean, she lives in essentially Pee Me's playhouse,

but evil. I can't get over these sort of like good hang part of being cool. That's fair. That's fair. Murdered, but I'll still give her a seven, which is a mark of how strong the you don't want to sit down for a slice of watermelon as they eat as they do in in house who and be turned into a ghost or have your body torn apart. Yeah. No, I'd be okay with that. Yeah, I'll do an eight. Okay. You know, maybe I'll give her a nine. I forgot about the hangout part, the nine. Okay. And get torn to pieces. That's fine.

Category three, wackiness, coochiness. Where did you read on the wackiness? I'm going to go 10 on this because if this is a public service announcement for listeners, if you haven't seen House, so you got to see House. What's wrong with you? It is, you know, it is imagine dragons. Perfectly placed in order horror movie that is as much like top art collage as done by like a very imaginative kindergartener as it is anything else and gives some sense of I was reading about it while researching this episode and their time at how the director

was doing special effects prep work, not being sure how they would come out. And that was like, some of the special effects didn't come out the way that I thought they would. Like it really feels like someone who really feels like people at play, you know, trying to come up with a story and make some things. So I'm going to give it. So it's and that aunt sets a wacky tone. So I'm going to say wacky. So I'm going to give it so it's and that and sets a wacky tone. So I'm going to say wacky. So I'm going to say 10 also.

And it's a 10 for me. I didn't realize absolutely wacky the album behind me as we talk is the soundtrack to house. Okay, guys, we got just one more aunt left and then I'm going to take a moment to tally the scores. We got one more and before that actually it's ant left and then I'm going to take a moment to tally the scores. We got one more. Oh, before that actually it's a lucky dip. I'm sorry. We have the lucky dip category for for NT from house. There's two categories left. Number six or number nine. Oh, nice. I'm gonna have six. Six. How good should we be at taking you on a whirlwind tour of the world? Really bad. Yeah, I think that she might be bound to that house is a very good point.

Yeah. I'm making as many Japanese ghosts are she is a she is stuck in one physical location. Man, she yeah, she bifus category. I think I'm going to give her one because like what a contender. Yeah, I'm a scopic powers like maybe there's some supernatural way, but I'm grasping it's strong. I'm just saying, but that's why. I'll say maybe a two. Yeah.

So that's a one, a two. I'm going to give a two also, because I think maybe she could convince you you're traveling through some kind of hallucinatory thing, but you'd eventually you'd realize that you're just there with a giant cat or something. Okay. So now it's our last ant. Guys, this is a non-fiction character we're going to be talking about now. That's right.

It's that ant of all ants, Edith Big Edie Boogiebeel from Grey Gardens. She is in real life the ant of Jackie Kennedy. She lives in Squalor with her daughter, Little Edie. They are the stars of Grey Gardens, a real life documentary from Lemaisles. And they are, what's to say about her? She lives in a house full of raccoons and human waste and detouress. She spends most of her time in bed. She loves canned corn, likes to cook it on a hot plate.

And really annoys her daughter, Little Edie, by not paying, by not buying into her daughter's projects and also not just not being friendly to her a lot of the cam. So the cam big Edie. Can I admit something and that is that I've never seen this movie? I I just the same space. I started to watch it. I think that for me, Stuart admitted he'd never seen arsenic and old lace. You can you can you've never seen great things.

I know how artfully this movie is made, like by reputation. So it's obviously at a different level than reality TV. Reality TV. Yeah, but like it has the same problem for me where I'm like, I don't want to watch this thing that I'm going to find sad and I know is real.

I'm like a tragedy that I'm choosing to watch, but I can comfort myself. You're like great arms. Exactly. You can slow deck down under or whatever. No, exactly. No, Dan is making a brave stand in favor of closing his eyes to the troubles of the world and living in kind of like a fantasy land. Well, it's a safe space.

Traffic and zoom in as entertainment rather than just, you know, dealing with it because I exist in the world. I'm sorry, Dan, that I literally got real in this game. So let's go to category one, wickedness. I don't think she's very wicked. I mean, I guess she kind of mistreats her the other one, right? The other one. Her daughter, a person, yeah.

I'll give her a five, I guess. Yeah. Okay. There's some darkness there. I'll definitely, I'll go a little higher. I'll say six. Okay. But maybe that's being, that's because I'm conflating it with the documentary now episode.

Were they killed someone at the end? Yeah, yeah. As someone who's seen the movie and has also saw the Broadway musical, Grey Gardens, where the first act is before, is them when they are younger and the second act is them during the time of the movie. I'm going to give her, it's hard because it's, I'm gonna give her a seven, you know why? By the time of the movie,

you are not seeing her at the height of her wickedness because it's her decisions in many ways that have led them to this place. But by the time she's in the movie, she's not fully in control of her faculties and things like that. But taking, so you know what, actually, since we're just about her in the movie on the number six.

Chapter two, category two, not chapter two, this is not a book category two coolness guys how cool is biggie? Not to me not very cool. I will say I think that She's a gay icon. Yeah, I mean well, I think little idea is really more the gay maybe big ideas too Little use the one who has like the revolutionary outfit for the day and things like that. I feel like she's more okay. Well, I mean, okay, Jason's at least by being in the movie. So I'm gonna do a four for this.

A four? It was Little Edy that Jinxman soon portrayed in a iconic snatch game performance on Rufolster Egg Race. That makes sense. So Stuart, what would you say for coolness? Pretty low. I'm gonna say low. I'm gonna to say low.

I'm going to say like a two. The thing is, it's pretty punk to basically live in an abandoned house. The problem is when it's your house that you own, it's no longer a abandoned house, it's just a house you're not taking care of. And it's also pretty punk to kind of like be a maker and DIY and kind of like make a space better. Yep. And also to have rich relatives. That's true.

It is also very punk to have rich relatives and yet still live, still live as if you crawled out of a sewer. Yeah. So I'm going to give her, I think I'm going to give her a three. I'm going to split the difference between you guys. Okay, category three. I feel like she can clean up here. Wackiness, coochiness.

This is a lady who routinely feeds raccoons inside her house. Yeah, but there's a line where like like, where does, where does coo keyness end and middle element? That's not for me to answer. What do I, what am I, the DSM for? I don't know, Dan. Yeah, I mean, like, I just think that there's a sad tinge to this that, uh, we'll, we'll keep it down as an eight for me, but okay, that's fair.

That's fair. Uh, yeah, I don't know. I think a nine like I'm also going to go in nine. Dan, I'm just proud of you for playing the game even though you have clear or roll and ethical issues with it. Okay, lucky dip category. There's only one category left. That's number nine.

How good would she be at calling you big guy in a way that makes you more and more uncomfortable the older you get. I feel to me that seems a little vulgar for her big guy. I don't know, but I can also see it happening. So I'll just say a five. Okay. So what about you? Yeah, I mean, I think there's, I think there's a possibility there, but I think it's, I think it's pretty low. I'm going to say four. Okay. I'm going to say a six on that one. All right. For the same reason, it doesn't seem like her, but at the same time, she says a lot of, a lot, a lot of things that you wouldn't expect someone in that position

to say. Sure. All right, everybody. Those are the categories. Now it's time for me to tally these scores. Okay, everybody, I've tallyed the scores. We know now who is, I don't know, I'd say the best aunt, but certainly the aunt with the highest score from these. Yeah, the most anti-est. Yeah, the one who's the most of an aunt, the most pure aunt, like aunt in all of these, the anti-est aunt. Yeah, I have some fucking courage with your game. I'll get it. Thanks. I just, with your hormones, there's one of the categories where so much clear, like a positive

and negative. And this one is, there's a little different. It doesn't always apply to everybody. But our winner, this is going to be a big surprise. This is, I think the winner is the aunt that all three of us probably have maybe the least experience with. That's right. Antimame wins with 93 points overall. Wow. We have the least experience, but you guys, I think that is the classic edge, right?

If you're thinking about my hands. Yes, in a long way. Yeah. She's got six legs, got a huge dump truck butt, got weird mandibles. Six legs. Oh, right. Exactly. Yeah, she serves the hive. And unfortunately, I thought this was going to be the winner, but anti-housu second place, 88, that lucky dip cap.

That lucky dip really took her up, dude. Yeah, if she had had committing a murder, oh man, I think she would have been close to a perfect score. And 20, 24's and competition's going to be so much tighter. I bet. And sadly, yes, sadly, sadly, the last place lowest score, anti-m, oh, a pillar of American film. Yeah. And it's funny. And second last place, I guess I'll say an awesome. Second to last place, of course, is a anti-apy, Wonder Woman's aunt. And then right above her is the Brewsters from Arsons that are snickered all the way.

They should be down to the bottom, they're murderers. But the ants that I wanted, I would have wanted to have the most for myself growing up, anti-M and either of the ant maize, leave the bottom or middle of the pack, to beat them out of the ant. I guess. Again, our cultural conception of ant is someone maybe a little kooky or an ukeer that you would like to have as your ant personally. Yeah, it's kind of like how we have the crazy uncle as like a character in people's lives.

And it's like that's not someone you want around you all the time. That's someone you want just kind of sometimes livening up families. We certainly, we certainly, We spend your life. Yeah. I don't know if you want to live in that like unsung heroes world, where you're with your, you're out of the ordinary uncles, you know. Yeah. So guys, thank you so much for joining me on this. And spectacular. Real pleasure. And explosion of ants. We explored the Antiverse and we came up with our ant subs. So it's like light, light, light, and we went up against the ants. We were versus the ants and we came out on top.

Yep, we did it. This has been the Flawhouse Mini and it's also been probably a waste of your time. I've been Ellie Kaelin. Thanks so much for joining us. We are a maximum fun podcast. Please check out the other maximum fun podcasts. They are also very fun.

Some of them are even less weighty than this one, if you can believe it, and some of them are much more so. Thanks to our producer, Alex Smith. You may find him online as Howell Daudy. You may find him online as Lydia Borrell. He is a man of many names, many identities, many lives. And I mostly wanna thank you, the listener. If you like this episode,

please leave us a positive review wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you didn't like this episode, stick with us. We don't do this all the time. Maybe the problem is you. You ever thought about that? Yeah, yeah. But if you, if we're not, if you don't feel like we're being too hostile, please leave us a good review somewhere. For the flop house, I've been Ellie Caelin. I've been Damocloi. I've been Stuart Wellington and thank you to all those ants out there! Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum Maximum Fun. A Worker-owned Network. Of Artist-owned Shows. Supported directly by you.