The Flop House - FH Mini 96 - The Flop House Autofill Interview

Episode Date: January 6, 2024

Dan got tired and decided to have Google do his homework for him.Check out FLOP TV! You can buy tickets here!  Or get tickets for a stop on our January 2024 West Coast Tour.Ever tried Microdosing? Visit Microdose.com and use FLOP for 30% off + Free Shipping.

Hey everyone and welcome to the Flapphouse. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. I'm Elliott Kaelin. That's my name. And primarily the Flapphouse is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. But every other week we bring you these slightly shorter, often almost as long, many episodes which are more freeform. We get to do what we want to do. And this week was my turn to head up this mini. Okay. And a little backstory.

So here, here in the, it's because I hear the US, but here in the US, we just celebrated New Year's. That is New Year's specific. Here across the world people celebrated christmas i was at home there's a lot of travel while travel going on while how they stuff going on and i've been sick

more importantly for a month i've been sick for a month you may here's some evidence of that on this podcast. I've been, we recorded another episode before this one. I've been writing my cough block pretty hard to try and cut out costs from the, oh, so you're saying you're ill. You're not just sick of the woke agenda. Stuart, you know that we're all part of the woke agenda. My point is, I've had this, you know that we're all part of the woke agenda.

My point is I've had this, you know, I can get into the ailments, no one cares. I've been feeling lousy. So I was like, what is the lazy man's many? What can I do to find, to have another entity do most of the work for me? And I thought- I mean, laz lays you're then when you just described an enormous Johnson T-shirts to us. That took a lot of research. I had to search out those T-shirts, you know, come up anyway.

So this is, I started thinking about those Google Auto Phil interviews, they do with celebrities. Now this, of course, is something that we will not get sued for stealing because this is a podcast and we're not celebrities. So, I feel like it's different enough that I can borrow and see. I was going to see, let's see. I don't even, I don't really even know what you're talking about. Tell me about it. Okay, well, you know, it's like, it's a huge rant. A lot of the best ones are huge rant. Sure.

And they, they starved the Dungeons & Dragons movie for Wanka. Yeah, layer of the white worm, sure, the trilogy. Wanka Dungeons & Dragons, layer of the white worm. I was trying to keep it to things that we might have done one of these for, but you type into Google, like, does a Hugh Grant, that I was trying to remember who we were talking about, does Hugh Grant. Does Hugh Grant feed? And then, Google will supply frequently asked questions, based on other people that will

suggest, like, try and predict what question you were going to ask about Hugh Grant. Yeah, if it was my phone, it would be like, how much protein in a Hugh Grant? Exactly, Stuart knows exactly. So I did this for us. And so I'm going to ask you guys some questions. And bear in mind that we are not celebrities. We are at best notable internet. Yeah, we're like personal animals.

Can we be internet micro celebrities or is that a different? Sorry, what? Internet micro celebrities. Is that us or is that something else? I think we're even micro-worth in that. I think we're internet nano celebrities. Cool.

So because of that, these autofill things might be a little more bizarre in general. I think it's true. Why not? Let's find out. You're the lazy man. This is your man. I'm going to ask Elliott first off for a question. Is Elliott Kaelin still alive? It doesn't feel like it a lot of days. I mean, what is life really? a lot of days. I mean, what is life really? Exactly. In a spiritual sense. Yeah, in the George Harrison sense, yeah, sure. Okay, interesting. That's, it's good to know. I'm glad to hear that you're smart with

the hell yet. Yeah. I'm going to ask Stuart, is Stuart Wellington still alive? Mm-hmm. I don't, I think so. Yeah. I mean, do you check your pulse? I mean, I have a check in my pulse in a while. And I don't know. But you do every morning when you wake up, right? If you mean by checking my pulse, do I roll over and look at my phone? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm assuming I'm alive. There's a chance that like, there's a chance there's a simulation, right? There is a chance this is a simulation. But there's a chance like, if that's true, then I'm just sitting on a chair at the end. I think that

you just count as alive. But also nothing, nothing changes if it's a simulation. You would still be a, as a, let's say, as a self-aware thing, a boot of what a program to just think of self-aware, then you know what? Then you're basically alive at that point. I remember when I was a teenager and I took, I was taking LSD and I remember I made the decision to take it to the police. You said I found this at the bus stop, but I want you to take it. Certainly should afraid of what it seriously. Certainly should.

I'm afraid of what it might do to me. So after a long night playing Killer Instinct and I was playing Killer Instinct and watching Yahoo series movies, I made the decision to drive home. reckless Kelly and I think you really did. So you're supposed to. And I made the decision to drive home. I'm like, I'm probably fine. I was totally not fine because every time I like turned a corner, I'm like, what if I

died back there? I'm on the ghost of Stuart driving a car. Well, so that's what I'm saying. The long story short, I was back in that basement plane killer instinct. Long story short, this could all be a twilight zone episode and you can't realize. Yeah, this is this is a crime in the basement plane killer instinct. Long story short, this could all be a twilight zone episode and you're going to realize this is this is a current in the basement plain killer instinct by Ember's Beach. We should TN the shit so the black mirror doesn't steal it because this is good. Okay. So moving back to the questions, we'll we'll go back to Elliot. Here's a question.

Sure. Yeah. Is Elliot Kaylin married? Yes, Elliot Kaylin is married. I've been married since 2010 and I continue to be and will remain so very happily. Okay. I think it will be a little bit of a hit on me, Google. I think we have evidence of that because we were both at your wedding. So the story checks out. We watched Prana 3D, right? Yeah. I mean, not everybody was earlier that day. Yeah, sure. We watched Elliot, Clutch, a chair, panning, it's buffeted. Yeah, that's for sure. Okay, well Stewart, is Stewart Wellington married? I am, that's, that is a fact. Since 2011, in fact, I got married in Rincone, Puerto Rico.

Yeah. And my wife and I own a couple of bars. It was a great wedding. We were also there. Yeah, we were also there. We were both there. We didn't watch Prana 3D. That was the wedding where the so much beer was poured into the pool at the hotel that the image at the bottom of the pool was no longer visible.

And we can't just cloudy with beer. That does not sound right. Okay, well, let's move on to, here's a question. Winn win will, win will all yet. Now, this is what I put in, win will all yet, you know, then Google, win will all yet. Darling. Not close. Win will all get Katelyn be released? Ooh.

I assume, I can only assume it's asking when will I be released from the demands of my children, which are the prison I'm currently Currently encased in and can I add a prison of your own Devices? Very much so I make what it tangled with we weave when first we try to procreate yeah exactly that's a thing like I get it like Dan's always complaining doesn't like weren't you me hats? It just doesn't feel good. Not getting a constantly complaining about it.

Just like the Katie Lang song constant complaining. Yeah. Okay. Well, you're just one for Elliott. Or sorry, for Elliott. So this one goes to Stuart. Oh, okay. The Stuart's kind of the Elliott of the podcast. I understand. Does Stuart Wellington still exist? Oh my god. That sounds like the type of shit that my brother would say to me when he's like trying to make me feel bad. Like I get it, like I exist. I don't have to confer. I like that. So this is how not famous we are is that Google is struggling to even confirm that we have there's a lot of smokers smoking all these typing to show them. Some question props came up with nothing. So. Wow. I had to really dig down. Yeah, juice the numbers. I'm glad we're doing a normal ass minute. Yeah, not a silly buzz one. Yeah. Hey, it's 2024. Let's give ourselves a treat.

Yeah, this is our first episode in the new year. All those people who read Linda Holmes very nice list are jumping on. Yeah, this is what they're trying. Yeah. So this is what Linda Holmes like to listen. She's got released a new article. I disavow what I say that is not the kind of thing I like to listen to from them. Dracking their Linda Holmes, like to say, she's never released a new article. I disavow what I said that is not the kind of thing I like to listen to from them. Dragging their Linda Holmes bookmark to the trash. No. Okay, well here's a physical bookmark, but it's enormous.

That's why you have to drag it. Here's an interesting article, Phil, question. Google obviously was learning something by this point. And like a Raptor. And the question is, what can Stuart Wellington do for Elliot? Well, that's actually pretty interesting. So once upon a time, I did provide a service for Elliot. When we would record, I would walk Elliot home, and I would be the like thug-ish bodyguard,

because Elliot would dress nice, because he was working at the daily show. I dressed terribly. And we would, we would walk along, what was that? Atlantic Avenue. Atlantic Avenue in the dead of night. Dead of night, you know, all loopy from recording. I was probably like six beers deep. And I was full of chicken. And I would walk him home and we'd, you know, share a chased kiss on the cheek and then I would go home with memories of podcasting. And date and my wife Danielle was always very happy that she'd be like, Stuart's going

to walk you home again tonight, right? Like she was very worried about me. So we almost never encountered another human being on those. No, it's kind of wild. I it was like, it was like those old cartoons with like the big, big dog spike and then the little dog that is more fun. Yeah, the more, more fun. I don't know. He's kind of irritating. Yeah, then he's fun. What are you saying about Elliott, dude? Oh, here's a, here's an interesting question Google has for Elliott. When will Elliott, Kaelin go

to jail? I certainly hope the answer is never. When are they going to capture you for your mini crimes? Well, what crime do you think I would have committed that I would go to jail? And what would my sentence be? What crime do you think I'm likely to commit? And then tell me what crime would be most exciting for me to commit? Okay, I kind of like that. If it turned out I was a cannibal, that would be pretty exciting. Whoa. A crime that involves jail time, because I'm trying to think of like what, I think there are very few crimes that you might plausibly commit knowingly.

I think there's a chance that like Conair style, you're committed for manslaughter, like, you know, someone like, you know, he gets in a bar room, bro. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why he's running for he gets in a bar room, brawl. I guess. I don't know why he's running for your kids. I can't believe the weapons, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, yeah, that makes sense. I mean, I feel like some kind of white collar crime makes the most sense, right?

Mm-hmm. Well, that's what I was like, like, some kind of, like, maybe tax fraud, but I feel like you're a little fool. You don't have any like, you don't have any exciting, exciting it. Yeah, it doesn't have any exciting addictions. Like you're not like a gamble or that. Okay. Yeah, we don't work on some devices. Yeah. What should I get addicted to? Something that's real expensive. So I have to hide money, right? Like Bitcoin or some shit, right? You're addicted to Bitcoin. I'm addicted. My as well face it, you're addicted to Bitcoin.

Hi, I'm Robert Palmer. I'm here to talk to you about Bitcoin. You have to have money to buy all your monkey NFTs. If I look at it, guys, if you don't even, no, my eights, if I get addicted to eights, don't even, don't even let me go to jail. Just throw me out of a plane. We're in a volcano or something.

Yeah. Well, speaking of jail, Google was also wondering, when does Stuart Wellington get out of jail? Oh, man. Wow, I don't know. I mean, that's something I got to work through with my therapist. First, he's got to get into jail. That's the hard part. That's what makes the calculations.

Well, they got a to get into jail. That's the hard part. Is that's what makes the calculations. Well, they're breaking the tattoo on my back of the Jail's floor plan is almost done. Once that's done, I'm in there, baby. I just need to get in there, make sure the warden lets me keep a hand mirror so I can read the map otherwise I'd be fucked. That was such a fun dumb show for a little while. And then they're like, oh, fuck it, we didn't have any plan for this show being successful. What do we do now? Yeah. Okay. Now that nobody noticed, nobody noticed the map on his back, like when he was taking a shower or anything, that would be a fake back. He'd wear over his way. Yeah, the map is stylized in a way that like, I think it was. Oh, I see. Yeah, I feel like that's probably why I'm assuming a lot of studios or whatever

requiring you to be able to like pitch out a full six seasons worth of show. Yeah. But I feel like they got the first one. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, once they break out, there's really not a show anymore. What if it turns out that all of earth is in a giant space prison? Nothing that a bridge had of that. I mean, that rules, but it's, or else you're left with a situation like Yellowjack. It's where the first season's great and then the second season's like, what? I watched it. I watched it.

I watched it. The second season's okay, but it certainly does not have the, it doesn't have the same excitement that the first season has, because it's a lot of like feeling in gaps and things like that. Yeah. There's no, there's no laugh out loud moment like there's no book club. Oh, the single best joke of television show. But you get a, Elijah Wood musical number, right? That's true. So we're closing it on the, the end of the first half of this episode.

Yeah. Before the commercials. I apologize. Anyone trying this show for the first half of this episode before the commercials. I apologize, anyone trying this show for the first time. Why? Yeah, this is good. Even it is. This is all you're right. We got to fake it till we make it. Guys, the congratulations.

You're welcome to everyone listening to the show for the first time. Be the be the great podcast that you want in the world. I hate to bring us down, but remember, this is not me as Google. Google wants to know how will Elliot Kaylen die? Oh, so earlier, when I guessed that, that was something that I think is likely to be a combination of one of three things, either heart trouble from all the fatty food that I eat. Okay. Or perhaps it'll be like of old age, you know, or it will be. Well, like too much old age makeup, like in my way out.

Yeah, I'm just gonna put too much glue on my face to make my skin look wrinkly and it'll, yeah. Yeah, it'll be like gold finger. Your skin will suffocate, which is the thing that doesn't actually happen. Sounds cool to me. Well, I saw it in a movie once. I think it was called gold finger. And or I will, probably the most likely of these is that I'll probably die stopping

a dinosaur from eating the newbie risen risen Messiah, so that all, sacrifice for myself, so that all humanity can live in a world of bliss. The dinosaurs will of course have come back before then as either. Right, because the dinosaur Messiah brought them back. Exactly. The dinosaur Messiah came from the dinosaur Messiah. You guys are the dinosaurs. It makes sense to me.

Yeah. Time is cyclical. Stuart, you would listen to the hell out of a band called dinosaur Messiah, wouldn't you? Yeah, probably. Yeah. All right. Well, we got one more before our ad break and that is this. I mean, according to the answer, according to the questions you're listening to, I'll probably

I'll probably die in jail, right? Apparently. Yeah. Yeah. But it will be saving the Messiah from a dinosaur. Injustly. We found out how Elliot Kaylen will die. Google wants to know how will Stuart Wellington be executed?

Oh, I was just saying. You don't get a man who will be executed apparently. No. Probably a karate accident. That's not what I'm executed. That's an execution. An execution? I assume that you're going to, it'll be like a last starfighter type scenario where you're

so good at playing Warhammer that the aliens were living in a real Warhammer world take you up. But you're not really, your skills from playing Warhammer don't translate to the battle field. Don't translate into actual battles. Yeah, and I probably got your head off. Yeah. Well, a primark does an honorable death.

That's like my buddy Steve Kastanski, friend of the podcast made that, what is it that ABC's a death bit where W is for wish where the kids are like playing with their he man's and they're like, oh, awesome. I wish we had this for real. And they're in the real he man universe. And it's no no. Sounds good. I got to check that out. Okay, well, this podcast has sponsored sponsors. Yeah.

And what about- It had sponsors until they've listened to the episode. And one of them is Lumilabs, microdose gummies. Perfect. Perfect for thinking up a mini concept. I am starting to think that lumilabs was more involved with this mini than I originally thought. My granose gummies deliver perfect entry level doses of THC that help you feel just the right amount of good. Ellie, in the current situation in Dan McCoy's body, I don't need lumilabs.

in Dan McCoy's body. I don't need lumi lab. Everything is falling apart. I have a natural high, which is oxygen not getting to my brain because my bronchial tubes are choked off. But in happier times, let me share my personal experience with land-happier times, I would find that they helped me relax, helped me with creativity, helped me sort of unwind at the end of the day. If any of that sounds like stuff that you might be interested in, you could get 30% off your first order plus free shipping today at microtos.com with the promo code FL available nationwide. That is microtos.com, promo code flop for 30% off and free shipping microdose.com promo code flop. Elliot, I believe you have a few things to say. Epic's up.

There's some, yeah, thank you. I do. There's some flop house stuff to promote. If you're enjoying this episode and why wouldn't you, and you want a little bit more flop house today, and it's the day that this episode is released Saturday, January 6th. You are in good luck. Because tonight, the night this episode is released is the final episode of the season one of flop TV. That is our online broadcast live one hour show where it's like a TV version of the

flop house tonight at 6 p.m. Pacific 9 p.m. Eastern. We're going to be talking about. Nookie, the second worst movie I've ever seen. What? It is recently has become relatively famous online, but it is a movie that I've been talking about for a decade, I think now. And boy, is it bad. Dan Stewart have not seen it before. We're going to talk about it.

That's tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern six percent, six percent benefit. Just go to, just go to. And I don't want to call the presentation I did for the show, my magnum opus, but I've been just told that legally I have to. It's my magnum opus. Oh wow. Wow. That's the flop house dot simple ticks dot com to buy tickets. The, the, let's theflophouse.simpletics.com. To buy tickets, the, let's say you can't make it to watch it tonight live, that's okay. The video will be up pretty much the next morning

to watch it. And if your ticket gets to access that video, if you buy a season pass, then you get access to the videos of all of the episodes we've done. This has been a great six episode flop TV season. I had a great time with it. The audience reaction has been really positive. I'd love seeing Dan and Stu do their presentations last episode Stewart. Did I? How to throw a party presentation that was. And that's versus sever theme party, I think.

Yeah, that was as as imaginative as it was hard to parse exactly what the thing he was behind it. And so I can't wait for Dan's tonight. That's the flop house dot simpleticks.com. Tonight is our new key episode live. You can't watch it live. That's okay. You can pick the recording or if you haven't seen the episodes, get the season passed. You can watch all those recordings until the end of January.

At the end of January, we're going to take those videos down and we're going to recharge for a future season of flop TV, probably in like the fall, I think. Yeah. Yeah. There's a reason that television takes time off in the summer or what be on like old with like beard and ponytails and I mean Dan already has a beard. Dan's going to be on his beard. So let's say watching us through your TV screen on your computer is not enough.

Well, as you may have heard at the very top of the episode, we're going live. That's right. We are visiting four cities. At the end of January for a flop house live tour, it's the Errors tour. 2024's most exciting thing. We're going to be in Vancouver on January 24, talking about Cobra with Sebastian Stallone. The movie is with Sebastian Stallone, because Sebastian Stallone will not be there.

I don't want to do that. We're talking with... Or Willy. Or Willy show up perhaps. He's done it before on this show. January 25th will be in Portland, talking about Coolest Ice. January 26th will be in San Francisco,

talking about Gilly and January 28th will be in Los Angeles talking about spawn the movie that kicked off the superhero movie craze. What do you say Dan? Oh no, I was just, I was checkling because I was remembering I think I'm on a recent episode of Blink Check. They described John Lake who was on most performances, the most unpleasant performance ever in a film or something like that.

And it really truly has something to witness. Yeah, something not to witness with joy, but you know, something. So again, that's January 24th, January 25th, January 26th, and January 28th will be in four different cities. If you want to travel with us like a grateful dead van or something like that in a van, we don't travel with us. You can go to the shows, our flights are booked. Go to flakhousepodcast.com slash events for all but you can go to the shows, our flights are booked. Go to flakpasspodcast.com slash events for all the information and links to the tickets for those.

We hope to see you live at the show. a pretend emergency calls. 911. My husband! It's my husband! Calm down, please. What about your husband? He looks at dishwasher wrong. Please help! What is not meant? Where you know, ma'am? I think it's in the table.

I was with my dad, he mispronounced his words intentionally. There are plenty of podcasts on the hunt for justice, but only one podcast has the courage to take on the silly crimes Judge John Hodgman the only true crime podcast that won't leave you feeling sad and bad and scared for once only on maximum fun.org Hey This is Laurie Kilmartsons and I'm Jackie Cation and we have a podcast called the Jackie and Laurie Show on Max Fun And it's very exciting because what do we talk about? Comedy. Stand up comedy. We both do stand up comedy and have since the dawn of Christ.

Well Jackie, is that offensive? It is offensive to me because she's aged to me. We started in the late 80s and we're still here. You can't kill us. So go to the Jackie and Laurie Show on Max Fun and listen to that. Jackie and Lauren show new episodes Monday, only on MaximumBun.org. So let's go back into the mini. Of course, there's one member of the flop house who has not been addressed so far and his name is is me, Dan McCoy. Oh, Dan, right, Dan.

And if you recall the now, the point of this, this whole endeavor was like, it gets to know you thing, right? Well, there's that. But also I was. I don't what was, was there a point to be lazy? And tired. And I'm also sick and tired of being sick and tired. Venus to the joke. So, so these are-

We got Dave Barry here with us. What's the thought of that? It's going to be auto-fill questions about Dan McCoy, but you are required to answer these questions about me. That's the right thing to extend the laziness even further and to create a challenge for all of us. You have to answer these quick. So the first one here is, is Dan McCoy still alive? I mean, that's fucking questionable based on the wow.

He's a hearing. Yeah. Stuart had a face on him originally where he's like, yeah, you know, I got this one. I know for certain, but now he seems a little, okay, well, I guess the interviewer is still alive. I mean, he's clinging on there, but you know what, he's tough. I feel like if you had to talk about the flop house members, you would say Dan is the toughest member of the flop house. He had those adversity the best. Uh-huh.

He goes with the plane. He goes with the plane. He goes with the plane. If there's any sort of discomfort or inconvenience or a mere change of plan. Yeah, the consummate professional. Ready for anything? Smooth as ice and cool as a cucumber. Yeah. But the clock said 3,04 a minute ago. Now it says 3,05. I don't know if I like this. Hold on. Let me talk about it for a while. Yeah. Dan, it's good to roast you when you're sick because you're too sick to forget really man.

Well, okay, I came up with the many. I was, you know, I was aware that there would be a certain amount of roasting involved in this last section. Sure, yeah. Okay, next question. It's cold out there. Do you want a little bit of heat. He wants all your roasted. Who wants to know? Is Dan McCoy a real person? Well I think that's a good point because I think sometimes people on the internet confuse you for being different like that. The podcast persona and your real persona get muddy a little bit.

Because I think, I think we, for instance, we give you shit on the podcast and in real life. And I think sometimes people on the internet are like, that gives me leeway to give Dan shit and you cannot do that. You're allowed to. You are not allowed to do that. I mean, what you've, you know, established for a poor with me, which is, you know, takes some time. Takes a little time.

Takes time. I have to get my entry except you're not the most welcoming, very wary, yeah. You have to let your hands, make sure you're not afraid. I'll eat them right out of your hands. The best way to approach Dan is to kneel to be at his level. Don't look him in the eye. You can just finish that challenge.

Scratch him, let him sniff your hand and scratch him under the chin, not't look him in the eye. He's just that a challenge. Scratch him, let him sniff your hand and scratch him under the chin, not on the top of the head. Yeah, where I can see. And when Dan makes a show of dominance, you cannot run away. If you run away, you are going to be devoured. Yes, the only thing to do if Dan makes a show of dominance, which in his case is sighing particularly loudly, is that the only thing you can do is roll over and pee on yourself, just to show him that you're not a threat and you understand he's the alpha. Yeah. Now here's a question Google is wondering about that.

I honestly am a little scared about what you're going to say in response to this. And here it is. Does Dan McCoy work? Does Dan McCoy work? Well, so I mean, there's what he is. The thing is, I'm sure he works carefully.

So how do we define work? Yeah, is it a change? What's the difference? What's the difference? I mean, it's our services for money because I think that I do qualify. Are we saying does he have, does he do an occupation? Or are we saying does he function?

Now, his work's spelled with a O or an E. Just to know this guy taught in the time. Well, Elliot, he has been your employee before. Well, I mean, I mean, I didn't employ him. He's been your direct report, Well, I mean, not I mean, I didn't fully have I said he's been your direct report. Right. Yeah, that's true. And I will say that Dan often worked not always as much as I wanted him to, but maybe more than the entire staff of the daily show. Well, that's certainly more than other people.

We're also on staff. Yeah. And as I as my tenure extended there, the number of people who worked less than me grew and my importance to the show arguably grew along with it. Yeah. Yeah. So I would say, does Dan work? He works hard.

Of course. He works hard for the money, so you better treat him right. Thank you. And pay him money, to be honest, he works hard for the money. So you should pay him. Everyone should be based. Just put two dollars in an envelope, two dollars cash and mail it to Dan McCoy, care of Brooklyn, New York, USA. You want to just drop your address again? You want to support me and the show, do it through maximum fun. But here we go. Here's an interesting question.

Google seems to have some sort of apprehension about me that may or may not be true. It says, who will Dan McCoy play next? Oh, who knows you were an actor? You were in a college production of hair, was that it? Yeah, it was college production. Sure. I was in a lot of school productions. I have a couple of IMDB acting credits. Yeah, you played Santa Claus once on the daily show, right?

That's true. So Elliot, throw out some roles that you think Dan would be perfect for. Yeah. Well, here's the, so clearly the first role that comes to mind is of course Melvillio. They, they, Dan would be a great Melvillio for sure. I can see that. Yeah, yeah. Obsessed with like what, that my stockings.

Yeah, exactly. I could also see Dan is kind of like a, kind of like a sophisticated devil in a smoking jacket who is, who is, you know, tricking somebody in a, you know, you know, I think you're just looking at my beard, but it is mostly these are bearded vegetables. That's you like if Dan, Dan, a little bit of a, a little bit of a gray in his hair and beard, he could pull off, I think he could be a good kinglier, but maybe I'm just trying to get him nude and smear and like, ashes and mud all over his naked body. Oh, he would do great with that.

You do. That sounds like a spotty. But I think also if maybe Dan stretch a little blanche du Bois, maybe it's time for you to play a part like that. You know, there's a certain vulnerability. I think you can project. I've been resting on my laurels acting wise for too long. Now here, the way I took the question, I feel like some, some rules that like, like some

classic Michael Douglas rolls Dan could pull off. Oh, yeah, falling down fits Dan like a glove falling down. Yeah, come on. Yeah. Disco traction. No, traction. Yes, for sure. Uh, yeah. Any, any, basic instinct anytime, Michael, it was fun to rewatch fatal attraction recently and be like, there are how much younger than me. That's God. But also, I took that not just as what role will Dan be playing, but you said who will Dan be playing next, right? Yes. Dan is a consummate con man who's always on the make and always on the job. Who's he going to be playing next? I mean, we won't know until they report to the newspapers

that a devilish, no, a devilish, handsome and charismatic nobleman, uh, convinced him to transfer all his money to an account at the bank of gazovia for some made up foreign kingdom. Yeah. You weren't angry emails from gazovia saying they're not made up. You didn't suspect something when you showed up in a horse-drawn carriage. Then immediately complained that he had to use the bathroom and ran into a building. Okay, well, he does look a lot like the fellow I wrongfully imprisoned, but oh, wow, speaking of Count of Dan Dacristo, yeah. Speaking of imprisonment, here's the next question. So yeah, speaking of imprisonment, here's the next question. Uh-oh.

When should Dan McCoy get Wellington out of jail? So I guess you want to let me stew on it. I know what I did. Dan, so you're saying all this time you've had the power to get steward out of jail. You have not done it. So this jail, did you break him up in your basement? Is that what happened? When should I do it?

So I've been waiting for the perfect time. Yes. Dan Bates is a dish that served cold. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he said he had an entire cask of a Montiado, right? The whole thing. I've never seen that in my life. I love the idea that I've certainly must have done this. The guy is bricked up in the wall and he just hear me along through the wall.

But when do I get to see the amount of yellow? It's like, I can't see is that close. I can't see. It's too dark in here. It's so dark in here is the cast here. Let me feel around for it. Is it on the wall? I'll start licking the wall. Oh, is there like, is this like an escape room? I think you bricked me up in the wrong room. You meant to brick me up into the room that they had the Yamantiyato in it. And that's how we the viewers are like, I can't why he's breaking him up. He's, yeah, yeah. Hello, hello, bricked up here. I don't know. I don't like how this character is coded now. Okay, fair, fair. Well, one, sorry, you're on. So, so you, so, but let's get back to the main issue, which is that you have in

prison steward and you have the power to that. Well, we don't know that. We say, when should I mean, you know, maybe I could have a skull pitory evidence that proves he didn't do it. Yeah, with the governor and you got a part. Yeah. Yeah. That was, that was why it was been waiting.

You know, I'm waiting to be elected. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. That's fair. You gotta run run for, you got to run for smaller offices first. Yeah. I'm going to try to say council work your way up. Yeah. Of course, by the time you governor, you're so busy on your focus on your presidential campaign, that you kind of keep forgetting about Stewart. Yeah. Well, there's one last question, all kind of related and it's how does Dan McCoy get Wellington out?

That's a good question. Now we've already talked about that cool tattoo I'm getting all over my back of the floor plan of the prison and you would think that would be enough for me to get out, but they realize that the show needs more seasons. So I'm still stuck in that prison. Yeah, and Dan, I'm going to assume that is about to sign the papers that are pardoning you when he's immediately arrested and indicted and kicked out of office for some crime on his own. Now he's in the prison with you is the problem.

That's too bad. But I think I think we work better as a team like on this podcast. Of course, the real problem is that when we zoom out and we see who's the word of the jail, why it's Elliot Kaylen. Oh, no. Game is playing. It's like the end of Ducca Muck. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I go, ain't I a stinker and then we come back in season two of a flop break. Yeah, to find out what's going to happen next.

Well, you know, I think we've learned a lot of important things about one another today and it was a great idea that I had. Don't solve from Google. That's all. Yeah, it was Google's idea. So if you didn't like this many, uh, blame Google. Otherwise, uh, if you did like it, uh, why not leave us a review on iTunes, uh, positive review, positive review, tell your friends,

don't put more negative negativity out there. If you don't like it, that's great. That's fine. We don't, you know, it's okay. I mean, I'd like them to like. No, I like, I want you to want me, you know, but if you don't, do you need them to need you? Move on. I don't. I don't need them to. Are you begging them to beg you? Well, I could. It depends on, you know, we'll see where the, where the where our finances are. We'll see where the where our finances are at the end of the next flopphouse fiscal year. Anyway, yeah, if you could help us out, you know, does Dan McCoy work? The answer is yes, but right now this is Dan McCoy's main job. So please, you know, be kind. Also, be kind by looking up how old Dottie, that's our producer, Alex Smith, see what he does

all over the internet. He's got Twitch streams, he's got his own podcast. I told him not to do it all over the internet. He's got his own podcast now. Yeah, he helped us out on our recent holiday flop fest Twitch stream we did. It was so much more professional. He gave us some important technical advice and he

was off the clock when he did it. Thank you for that help. And thank you to Maximum Fun. Go to MaximumFun.org to check out other great podcasts from the Podcasting Network that helps bring you us the Flop House. And let's say you have a personal or even corporate message that you would like to associate with

this kind of content and material, go to maximumfun.com slash jumbo-tron and you can rent a little bit of space on the Flop House for your message on the Flop House jumbo-tron. Yeah, it might surprise you, but we have a wide reach. So if that's a way that you might want to advertise, think about it. Think about it. Just could take it out. Perhaps you've heard of it. A little thing called Google you have now

because Dan's been giving it free advertising all episode. Let's talk about this. We're off Mike Dan. Okay. Well, let's get off Mike by closing up shop here. Yeah, Mike doesn't want us on top of him anymore. Sorry, Mike. For the fluff house, I've been Damakoy.

I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Google saying, who is Elliott Kaelin? Me. Bye. Bye! [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Maximum Fun. A Worker-owned Network.

Of artist-owned shows. Supported. Directly. By You. Maximum fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows. Supported directly by you.