The Flop House - FH Mini 98 - In the Public Domain
Episode Date: February 17, 2024Elliott uses the occasion of Steamboat Willie entering the public domain to explore other free IP we could mine for dollars.Do you live in or around BROOKLYN, NEW YORK or OXFORD, ENGLAND? We've got up...coming LIVE SHOWS for you!Get 55% off a Babbel subscription at Babbel.com/FLOP.Get 30% off your first order, plus free shipping today at Microdose.com, promo code FLOP.
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Discussion (0)
Welcome to the Flop House. I'm Elliot Kalen, and this is a Flop House mini. That's right,
it's an off week. We're not talking about a movie, or are we? We're not. And we're
going to be talking about some other things that are movie related, maybe, or maybe not.
I'm joined here by my regular co-hosts. Wow, you're really being cagey.
Yep, their names are? Dan McCoy.
And? Dan Stewart Wellingtown.
What a great couple of co-hosts.
And you know what, before we get into this mini,
I just want to tell you how much fun I had
with these two guys appearing in front of four
amazing audiences as part of our West Coast Errors Tour.
Now, we've released a couple of those episodes
on the feed already, I believe, right Dan?
This is our first episode that we're recording
back after the tour and we had such a good time.
I was gonna say thanks to everybody
who came to see those shows,
thanks to everybody who came up to us afterwards
and told us how great we are,
thanks even to the people who came up
and had criticisms for us.
I guess we'll take into account,
we'll take them to heart.
They seem to be really reading you the riot act.
Yeah, yeah, well, there's some stuff. I think that was just Hodgman though. Yeah, mostly seem to be really reading you the riot act. Yeah, yeah, well, there's, there's...
I think that was just, I think that was just Hodgman though.
Yeah, mostly, yeah.
But he really was, in that he literally told me I could not riot.
No, Hodgman was very kind to us.
Like, you know, the civilians were kind to us and our, you know, other network hosts were very kind to us.
Yeah, our fellow comedy and podcasting people.
Well, that was because Hodgman came up before while you were still getting your stuff together
and he was like, I'm the third beach.
It's me, John, host of the plotbusters.
He was carrying a skateboard around.
Hello, fellow beaches.
Just like you.
That's how he tricked everyone.
He's like, that's Dan, right?
He's got a skateboard.
So we had a good one.
I'm out for.
I want to thank the people of Vancouver,
the people of Portland, San Francisco,
and I want to thank the people at SketchFest,
and I want to thank the people of Los Angeles.
You guys were all great.
I hope we get to see you again sometime.
We probably won't be on the West Coast again very soon.
I mean, you're there right now.
Yeah.
I mean, yes, I'll be there. I am there right now. Yes, I'll be there.
I am there right now.
Good point.
You know what?
Put me in jail.
You're right.
Put me in lie jail.
I'm wrong.
I'm just gonna add it to the scoreboard.
Stewards wants to get on the board
as you'll find out about next week
in the episode that we already recorded today,
but which won't come out till next week.
Oh boy.
Where that Mr. Show sketched the presaped call in show.
Yeah.
So we do have a show coming up in May in the UK.
We're hoping to plan some other live shows,
but we're done talking about that now.
The tour went great.
Thanks everybody for coming to the show.
We're gonna talk about the other big event of this year
besides the Errors Tour.
This is a big year.
Dan, there's a presidential election coming up.
There's all sorts of bad things going on.
Also, there's probably some movies coming out this year.
But the biggest, most important event of the year
has already happened.
It happened over a month ago.
Guys, can you guess what it is,
the most important thing that happened in 2024?
Over a month ago.
So this is, so it's now February.
Over a month ago. Lin this is, so it's now February over a month ago.
Wins Toyotathon?
I don't know.
Do you know what I don't know?
That's one of the questions that man has been pondering
for millennia.
It's not the Honda days.
Honda days is in December.
I'll tell you guys at the very beginning of this year,
January 1st,
Mickey Mouse entered the public domain.
We did it everybody.
We did it. Pew, pew, pew, pew. Air horn, air horn the public domain. We did it everybody, we did it.
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
Air horn, air horn, air horn.
We did it.
We have access to that very,
that one very specific version of Mickey Mouse.
Well, we have access to the original Mickey Mouse cartoons,
Steamboat Willie, The Gallop and Goucho,
and the silent version of Plain Crazy,
not the sound version of Plain Crazy, everybody,
that doesn't enter the public domain until next year.
But after many years of Disney fighting it and trying to extend that protection,
finally we have the earliest Mickey Mouse in the public domain to do whatever we want with.
Guys, are you familiar with what the public domain is?
Uh, sort of. Yeah, it means it's not covered under copyright law.
Is that where if you get in trouble they put you in the stocks and throw like tomatoes at you?
You're both right.
Yes. If you use a copyrighted character,
they put you in the stocks and they throw tomatoes at you.
But yeah, it means that.
For the reason that, for instance, it's a wonderful life
became a perennial holiday favorite
is that fell out of the public domain,
meaning that people didn't have to pay to like,
broadcast it every year.
So they did.
And then it became a big, beloved favorite, like I said,
when it was initially not such a success.
Oh, Night of Living Dead?
Exactly. Well, Night of Living Dead is one of the saddest stories in the public domain world
because they literally forgot to put a copyright notice on the film.
And so it was instantly in the public domain, and George Murrow didn't see any of that cash.
But Dan is right that it's a wonderful life,
literally fell out of the public domain.
The public domain is a giant who has huge hands
and he holds all the things that are copyrighted.
But he's still in that space between his fingers.
And so his, it's sort of like fell out.
And so the public domain, it's based on this idea, right?
You copyright something and the idea is I created this thing, I should get to make money off of it
for a certain amount of time to reward me for creating it.
And then at a certain point, I stop making money off it,
and it becomes part of our common cultural clay.
Now, as a creator of things, I like copyright
because it means chitching for me and my heirs
for a certain amount of time.
All that horse meets dog money is gonna come in pretty handy
to my heirs as soon as it pays off its advance.
Please buy my picture books.
Your shiftless layabout sons.
I'm projecting into the future.
Yeah, exactly.
And for a second I thought you were saying all that horsemeat and I'm like, Elliot, don't
brag about your horsemeat addiction on the podcast.
I have to go to France for it.
It's very expensive just for the flights.
But there's a lot of stuff that enters the public domain kind of each year because the copyright runs out and this year
There's a whole bunch of them. It's mostly stuff from 1928. There's some sound recordings from 1923
Finally, you get my hands on this. Finally the original recording of yes
We have no bananas is free to use Alex throw it in the background
Who's gonna stop us Eddie Cantor? Sorry Eddie Cant Eddie Cantor. There's nothing you can do about it.
Public domain and you're dead.
Play the whole song.
Alex, I hope right now, yes we have no bananas, the original Eddie Cantor version is playing.
Also the original theatrical, like the song lyrics for Animal Crackers, we just sing those,
the Marx Brothers play.
That's public domain now.
A lot of great silent movies.
The Cameraman, Passion Joan of Arc, Speedy, The Wind, The Crowd, they's Public Domain now. A lot of great silent movies. The Cameraman, Passion of Joan of Arc, Speedy, The Wind,
The Crowd, they're all Public Domain now.
Alex, throw the Passion of Joan of Arc in the background.
Play that silent movie.
Yes, if yes, we have no bananas.
It's going right now.
You know, cut, cut, yes, we have no bananas.
Play the soundtrack, play the dialogue from Speedy,
the Harold Lloyd movie, there isn't any, that's the joke.
Anyway, we've obviously got a lot of experience
with the public domain.
Stuart, what have you done with public domain stuff?
Well, let's see, I've written a lot of spec scripts.
I've drawn some, say, questionable artwork.
You're writing spec scripts for things
that are in the public domain, you're doing it wrong.
I just gotta tell you that. Where were you when I was writing them to you? Oh, the public domain. You're doing it wrong. I
That where were you when I was writing them to? Oh boy. Yeah, I wasted all this time I was like, I hope I can get the rights to Hansel and Gretel or I'll never be able to produce this I
Guess I'm wrong. I guess if you're using characters that are in the public domain, then that's a good idea
No one can stop you. I'm just thinking of spec scripts in the old sense of like you're writing for like a sitcom.
Oh, see, I don't think there's a,
I don't think there's a Haslam and Gretel sitcom
currently in production that you can try to get on.
Oh, that's what a spec script is.
I thought it was written on some pure Italian meats.
I mean.
That is a kind of spec, that's very true.
Paying you for it yet.
So I guess, yeah.
Now, speaking of a lot of books entered the public domain
in the United States,
every country has its own copyright laws.
In the United States,
so many books enter the public domain this year.
Finally, finally,
you can have all these characters meet each other.
Dan, I know you love H.G. Wells's work, right?
He's fine.
Finally, you can use H.G. Wells's amazing character,
Mr. Blitzworthy on Ramboll Island,
which is now in the public domain.
He's a classic character of Mr. Blutsworthy.
Dan, why aren't you writing this down?
I don't know how to spell Blutsworthy.
Yeah, and also Tarzan.
Tarzan is in the public domain now too.
Anyway, Dan, I know you love Agatha Christie.
Finally, all of my drawings are legal. Dan, I know you love Agatha Christie. Finally, all of my drawings are legal.
Dan, I know you love mystery novels, right?
You love Agatha Christie.
Finally, her classic novel is in the Public Domain,
The Mystery of the Blue Train,
a book that I had never heard of until I saw it listed
on a public domain list of things
that are in the public domain now.
Mystery has a blue train, I gotta read this.
Yeah. What does that mean? What's the secret? the public domain now. This one has a blue train. I gotta read this. Yeah.
What does that mean?
I don't know. It's like a blue house and they live there
and they're blue and everything is blue.
I don't know.
Yeah. The train instead of going choo-choo,
it says, Da-boo-dee-da-boo-dai.
Well, it's going through. Yeah.
And it says, it says thing I think I can.
It goes, I think I'm blue. I think I'm blue.
Although the little engine that could is also blue.
Da-boo-dee-da-boo-dai.
Yeah. Wow. I'm blue although the little engine that could is also blue. Da-boo-dee-da-boo-die. Yeah.
Uh, wow.
I'm learning so much.
This is a really informative episode.
File this one under informative, not comedy.
Yeah.
So, you know, so anyway, this is, you know, who does a lot with the public domain?
Mm.
Disney.
So, it's ironic that they've been trying to keep Mickey Mouse out of the public domain,
but so much of their classic hits are in the public domain.
Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Frozen.
It's all public domain stuff.
I'm currently writing a Hercules comic book series for
Dynamite Comics based on the Disney character.
All that Greek myth stuff is in the public domain.
It's not trademark Zeus anymore. He can't sue me.
Sorry, Zeus, can't sue me.
Without the public domain,
Disney comes up with stuff like Brother Bear or Home on the Range, not their top drawer stuff, you know.
So anyway, here's the disappointing thing about using the public domain is that it means anyone can use it, not just people who have a good idea.
So Mickey Mouse suddenly is in the public domain. What do people do with him? They mainly make-
They blood and honey him up.
Exactly. Just like they do from the pooh. Oh, wouldn't it be twisted? Have you murdered people? What do people do with them? They mainly make they blood and honey him up exactly they did just like
I want to spend more time with this character Dan
Dirty D. McSeed makes up enough here. John Holmes is in the public domain now. Would it be twisted if he was the killer?
Yeah, dirty D. Dirty D. What other public domain characters can be killers now?
Oh, I don't know, man.
Whoa, Harold Lloyd from Speedy.
What if he was the killer?
The longest in print children's book,
Millions of Cats is in the public domain now.
Dirty Dan, what should we do with millions of cats?
Millions of cats.
Imagine if they all killed each other.
Call those down, Battle Royale's down.
That's practically deranged.
That's great.
Okay, Lady Chatterley's lover is in the public domain now.
What should Lady Chatterley do, Dan?
Dirty Dan?
Maybe we should turn it from being a lover to a killer.
Okay, what about the three penny opera?
Let's make it twisted.
Well, isn't that already about a killer?
It was a trick question.
It's already twisted.
It's already, it already is.
Okay, so.
Thank God.
So sadly.
Something's taking over my body.
I'm glad it's gone now.
Yeah.
We were able to get that spirit out.
And it's very frustrating to me that it's like,
oh, people can do whatever they want with these characters.
They just turn them into murderers
or they just make them have sex with each other.
And someday in the not too distant future like
The Marvel and DC heroes the earliest ones are gonna be in the public
I think it's about ten years from now that the earliest Batman and Superman stories enter the public domain
Yeah, they're just gonna have them have sex with each other
I don't know how to tell you this Elliot, but there's already a lot of images of those characters having sex with one another
Do you have a PowerPoint presentation
that would prove this to me?
Just might.
That's a reference for people who saw the shows on the tour.
But anyway.
Yeah, Dan scoured the local train yards
to find a hastily made hobo porn.
That means super into it.
This porn means that a nice lady lives inside,
he'll give you a pie.
Yeah.
So guys, I wanted to talk to you about
how to show, showing people how to do the public domain,
right, okay.
We're gonna take a few newly in the public domain properties
and we're gonna do it right because it feels like
what people want, what people want for Mickey Mouse
is not to see him killing people.
They wanna see him doing like fun, funny stuff stuff like he in theory did in the 30s,
but when you watch those cartoons, they're not hilarious.
Yeah, they're not.
They are funnier than the later Mickey cartoons, however, where he just sort of was an affable
suburban guy with a dog.
Yeah, that's true. And there actually have been some very good recent Mickey Mouse cartoons that I think are very funny
But in the the wonderful world of Mickey Mouse series
But they kind of that's because they kind of like Ren and stimpied up Mickey Mouse a little bit
Like he's not gross, but it is that kind more that kind of animation
They went back to sort of the anarchic spirit of the really early ones. Yeah when Mickey was kind of a dick
He just made music by herding animals. Yeah, that sounds twisted.
Yeah, actually the original Mickey was pretty twisted,
you know?
He was more apt to like pull a revolver on someone
than you would think from knowing the Disney Company today.
There is, there was also, yeah, there's a,
yeah, well the original Mickey Mouse,
yeah, it's true in the original cartoons,
I think he was like a bootlegger, right?
Who ran like a criminal syndicate and he killed people on camera.
I don't know about that, but I know that.
Didn't he kidnap the Lindbergh baby in the original cartoons?
Certainly, like the Floyd Godfreyson comics, there was a lot of, you know, adventure and shoot ups and stuff.
So, so we're going to show people there's more to these characters than just making them shoot people,
even though that's apparently
what the original Mickey Mouse did.
Here's some characters.
Let's put them, they're in the public domain now.
Let's figure out what to do with them, okay?
These are famous characters that everybody loves.
Number one, Tigger, Tigger's in the public domain now.
How do you do it right?
Oh yeah, how do we do it right, Dan?
Show me real Dan, not Twisted Dirty D,
who just makes the characters twist
I know real take yeah, so what do you see do he bounces?
Flounces, you know bounces and flouncy's bouncy flouncy, but that's in the
Thing is that song is in the Disney cartoon, which is not the domain. No, this is the original ticker
Who's in the stories? Let me just look at this originally a male story. Oh wait
He's pulling he's hurting animals to make music
and pulling guns on people.
And oh no, no he doesn't do that.
No, he's kind of a hyperactive kid
of the hundred acre woods.
So what do we do with like-
And wait, can Winnie the Pooh be in this
or is he not allowed?
Yes, Winnie the Pooh is also in the,
the earliest, the old version is in the book.
I've not seen blood and honey,
where he totally is a killer.
Oh no, Dirty Dan is back,
oh no, Dirty Dan is back.
Make it twisted things.
It feels like that was the first time
when someone was like, wait a minute,
if this is in the public domain,
this child character can do killer things.
That's all, what's what we can do when it open the floodgates.
Yeah, what do you think?
Did you like that one?
No, people kept asking us to do it on the podcast.
I'm like, I don't want to even support this that much.
It's just such a like first idea, like edge Lord dumb,
like who cares?
Okay, so we're not going to do that.
So what is Tigger going to open up a small business?
Is he going to go to school?
Is it, are we going to have a Paddington thing
where a family adopts a tigger and he's gonna,
I don't know, like teach him the meaning of love
or happiness or something?
I think we have to, yeah, that sounds pretty,
I mean, you could get that made, certainly, yeah.
Yeah, if the family's like, oh grumpy and dysfunctional
and then-
The dad's like, I only care about work
and the mom's like, oh, I'm addicted to painkillers
and the kids are like, mm, well, we're already, we have a band and all we care about work and the mom's like, oh, I'm addicted to painkillers. And the kids are like, hmm, well, we're already,
you have a band and all we care about is our band.
And then Tigger comes in and says, hey.
Looking at phones.
Yeah, we're just all about screens.
That's all we care about.
And they go, they're gonna go on a last minute vacation
and society collapses while they're at the house,
but then Tigger is with them.
Yep, yep.
I made it twisted again.
I made it twisted again.
Oh no. I don't wanna offend any Tigger partis with them. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yep. I made it twisted again. I made it twisted again.
Oh no.
I don't want to offend any Tigger partisans out there,
but that's the character.
Like as a lifelong E.O.R.,
that's the character that irritates me the most
in the hundred acre woods.
Well, you know what?
I bet, I wonder if E.O.R. is in the public domain.
What would you do with him?
We'll get Charlie Kaufman on the script because I feel like you have a real feeling for the
material.
Sure.
Okay, sure.
What is it?
It seems like you're really giving up a real opportunity for yourself, Dan, to advance
your career by writing the Tigger movie, but give it to Charlie Kaufman.
Yeah.
Dan's in it for the love of the game here.
Yeah.
Eeyore.
The live of the Tigger.
Oh, the live of the Eeyore.
Yeah.
I forgot what you were talking about, the ER.
I don't know, man.
Like maybe he carries a storm cloud with him wherever he goes.
And he learns that he needs to find the place where he fits in.
He brings the rains to the desert with it.
Oh, OK.
Yeah.
So he uses his metaphorical tale of leaning
into the things that people try and shy away from
the sadness.
Maybe, yeah, maybe he travels around and encounters people
and everybody's trying to cheer him up.
And they end up getting in touch with what makes them happy
in the process.
Oh yeah, that's really nice.
That's great.
Yeah, I love it.
That's a good way to handle Ewan.
It takes the weight of the world onto his shoulders,
his donkey shoulders. so you become happier.
So he's kind of like-
Which are his shoulders?
Like the front shoulders or the back shoulders?
That's a good point. He has four legs. Yeah.
I think the back shoulders are called the butt.
The butt shoulders, okay.
Okay, yeah.
So he's kind of a real Christ figure, Eor,
in this, in this reading of it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, man.
I think we're doing a great job here.
Yeah, then he kills people at the end. He snaps because there's almost so much a dog he can take.
My name is Doug Dugay and I'm here to talk about my podcast in the middle of the
one you're listening to.
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Before we get into the ads, I'd just like to say
that if you go over to flophousepodcast.com
slash events, you're going to see some exciting new live shows over there.
First chronologically on Sunday, March 31st.
That's Easter Sunday at the Bell House in Brooklyn, New York.
We're going to be doing a show, Doors at 7 for a 7.30pm show.
So please come out to that Brooklyn show.
I know we've been doing a lot of coastal shows, Midwest, my home,
my home region where I come from.
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Anyhoo, back to the show.
Here's another thing that's in the public domain now,
the play of Peter Pan.
Okay. Yeah, certainly what the world needs is more adaptations of Peter Pan. Okay. Oh yeah, certainly what the world needs is more adaptations of Peter Pan.
All right, so you're doing it right Dan, by not doing it.
You're right, sometimes the only way to play, the only way to play the game is not to play
as we learn from war games.
Yeah.
I mean, I have to say, like this is a story that I have no affinity for.
I find it like weird and creepy.
Yeah, you said you like it less
when they removed all the racist songs from the cartoons.
That stuff's not in the public domain.
Oh, okay.
So it's interesting, Dan, that the grown man
who has no children himself
and spends a lot of time watching cartoons
doesn't have an affinity for Peter Pan.
It's interesting.
And the guy who might remind you
that you are chased by a pirate all the time.
We hate the flaws we see in ourselves.
Oh, that's fair.
I don't think that's true actually.
But also like so many, you know, like,
I don't wanna grow up,
filmmakers have made their version of Peter Pan
over the years and they're almost all bad.
Like there's a couple of good ones hidden in there,
but I, you know, or ones that have good parts
and then not so great parts.
That's fair, that's fair.
It's kind of burned over material.
It's been done.
So how about this?
So here's-
But what about, what about Bangorang, Dan?
What about Bangorang?
What about Rufio and those guys and-
Those are not in the public domain.
I think you'll find they're not in the original text
of your band.
This is a generational fight that I think
I've just given up on.
Like, you know what?
People a little younger than me,
go ahead and love your hook if you want to.
What I found is that hook is to me as Space Jam
is to the generation after mine.
Where it's like, well, this is the thing
I have a nostalgic sentimentality
for that also I'll say it's good,
even though objectively it's got issues,
it's not that good.
So here's a property that people have been waiting
to get into public domain for a long time,
so they can finally get their hands on it.
That's Memoirs of a Fox Hunting Man by Siegfried Sassoon.
Of course.
And so Dan, how would you handle this one?
Now, is Max mouse in this or is it just lie like block?
It's funny that you're pretending that you don't know
that this is a series of episodes
in the youth of George Shurston.
A youth to slightly older maturity dealing with,
fixtures of village, wealthy village life,
there's a cricket match,
there's a fox hunting thing, that kind of stuff.
Well, certainly.
In the years before World War I,
it's the innocence of the pre-World War I world.
We're gonna have to add that part.
I knew exactly what you were talking about.
Yeah, we all first knew this, but.
I wanna remind you that Siegfried Sassoon,
also the poet of World War I,
is not Vidal Sassoon,
the hairstylist.
Okay, well, that's gonna amend my response here.
Change things a little bit.
I've tried to figure out Vidal Sassoon's thoughts
on World War I, I cannot find them when I do my research.
So with this Fox hunting man, I think for a modern film,
the first thing that we wanna do is is minimize the foxhounds. Okay, interesting.
It is both a cruel relic and a symbol of the upper class that probably wouldn't play as well.
So we're going to take the foxhining out.
What was the other things that we could focus on?
Cricket.
Being in a village.
Cricket, sure.
I mean, explaining the rules of crickets to a non- non cricket fan is that's a movie in and of itself.
Like that's a lot of information. That's true. Yeah.
Yeah. Cricket seems to me to be like the sports equivalent of like a
tabletop game with a lot of it's Calvin ball.
A lot of rules. A lot of rules. A lot of rules.
A lot of like a feeling.
Someone's explaining like math to me somehow.
So it sounds like we would adapt it mainly
as kind of a humorous guide to cricket to the American.
All right.
Is Goofy in the public domain?
We can get him to do one of those explanations.
Unfortunately, Goofy is not, but yeah.
Cartoons that we can do.
I don't know.
With Fox hunting, I mean, I feel like you can make it fun.
Like that video game duck hunt
where you have like a dog who laughs at you and you miss.
No, that was a very different.
We did that one where the fox kills the hunter.
No, turni dance.
Oh.
Turn the tables on them.
Oh, he dragged himself out from under that coffee table.
What did the fox say?
Chainsaw.
All right, well, that was a tough one.
That was a tough one.
But now we'll get to one.
Again, this is another property people have been really hoping'd get into the public domain for a long time now.
This is Coming of Age in Samoa by Margaret Mead.
This is a nonfiction book.
Subtitle, Psychological Study of Primitive Youth for Western Civilization,
about the growth and sexual development of adolescent girls in Samoa.
Now, I'm sure there are many questions now about the underlying science of this book,
but Warner Brothers has been trying to make a movie
out of it for years.
So, Dan, how would you handle this one?
Okay, Margaret Mead, of course, famous sociologist,
I guess you would like,
just like anthropologist, social anthropologist.
Yeah.
I mainly know her through the fact that she gets lampooned
and has a song in hair.
Okay.
The musical that I was in.
Yeah, I don't know if you remember.
college Dan was the lead in the production of hair.
He played the hair.
Stuart mentions it more than me.
He's the only one who's wiener you don't see.
But that's how I was filled.
Leave him wanting more.
That's Dan's kind of the whole thing.
Yeah, in the playbook says the one is-
The air question mark?
Oh, so it's like at the end of Frankenstein,
it says the monster question mark,
because they didn't want people to know it was a person
and not a real monster.
Yeah.
So that's my main association.
So I guess we could adapt that song.
I guess that's not in the public domain though.
No, not in the public domain.
Okay, I'm gonna-
This is what we run into.
You're gonna get a point deficit for that.
You're off the board.
And now I'm making it a game. You know what?
I wasn't planning on it, but it's a game now.
Dan, you have negative.
Actually, you're back at zero.
Your EOR stuff was really good.
And then still.
I think doing a little slice of life,
kids growing up in Samoa thing,
that's a huge hit.
That's right up all the streamers' alleys.
It targets a huge hit. Like that's like, that's right up like all the streamers alleys at targets, you know, like a Y demographic.
You get some young hard bodies, put them under the sun.
That's a thumbs up from Dan McCoy.
I don't know why you keep trying to paint me this way.
I don't care for it.
So now the score right now,
cause I've decided to game is we're tied at one to one
cause I forgot Dan did some good work earlier.
So we're tied at one for one.
This is gonna be an easy one though.
You guys are gonna knock this out of the park.
How are we gonna adapt?
It's now in the public domain,
the book, West Running Brook by Robert Frost.
This is a book of poems.
I'll just read you a little bit.
Here's one.
This is from the poem, The Freedom of the Moon.
I've tried the new moon tilted in the air
above a hazy tree and farmhouse cluster
as you might try a jewel in your hair. I've tried it fine with tilted in the air above a hazy tree and farmhouse cluster as you might try a jewel in your hair
I've tried it fine with little breath of luster alone or in one ornament combining with one first water star almost is shining
So adapt I want we got we got to make it into a movie
How do we make that the first chapter of the of the Robert Frost? So here's what I so it's a but there's this West running Brooke
Okay, who wishes that it had the freedom of the moon
to travel where it wanted to not go West running,
but go East running.
It thinks that the moon has freedom
because it sees in the air,
but then ultimately it realizes
the moon only travels one direction as well.
And sometimes, we're set on a path in life
that may not be the one that we wanted originally,
but we have to find meaning and beauty in it.
You know what, Dan?
The end.
I like it, and you know what I like even more?
You can shoehorn a pop song into that really.
Yeah.
Like you could shoehorn, like Billie Eilish or someone does like a sad song or like that,
you know, that lady Gaga does one of her like more standards type songs, you know?
Yeah.
I think, great job.
That's a great job in that. Stuart, I'm gonna give you another one from that book
because Dan just totally ate your lunch on that one.
So here's, so this is a phone call.
I didn't even get a chance for that, okay.
This one I think might be more along your lines.
This is from Canis Major.
It says, the great overdog that heavenly beast
with a star in one eye gives a leap in the East.
Stuart, what are you gonna do with this overdog?
I mean, I'm gonna say, we're looking at a AMC original series,
Yellowstone style drama Western about a giant dog in the East.
Okay, great.
I mean, it's a Western, but the dog is in the East?
Don't, there's, when you're in the West,
there's still an East.
Okay, oh, it's called Overdog Goes West.
I see.
But it's one of those things where you have,
where you use the poetry mainly as episode titles
and maybe like bookends for episodes.
But maybe.
Or like a quote at the beginning.
Thank you.
That becomes significant later on.
Yeah.
Not something attributed to one of the characters
that doesn't make sense, but who knows?
I think that's, because people love that shit.
They do love that shit.
You love TV.
I love TV.
They do love that TV.
You guys both did a great job.
Okay, this is one, the, so this one I'm going to give to Dan, also it's another poem from
West Running Rook.
It's called The Bear.
I'm just going to read you a little bit and then I'm going to cut down those clothes.
Okay.
The bear puts both arms around the tree above her and draws it down as if it were a lover
and it's choked cherry's lips to kiss goodbye,
then lets it snap back upright in the sky
and then running down a little bit.
Let's see, here we go.
Or if he rests from scientific tread,
it is only to sit back and sway his head
through 90 odd degrees of arc it seems
between two metaphysical extremes.
He sits back on his fundamental butt
with lifted snout and eyes, if any shut.
He almost looks religious, but he's not.
And back and forth he sways from cheek to cheek
at one extreme agreeing with one Greek
at the other agreeing with another Greek,
which may be thought but only so to speak.
So Dan, you might obviously,
this is a pervy one that mentions a butt.
So I figured this is for you.
It's a bear and a tree, make it work.
I was gonna say, like this seems like,
you targeted this to me
because there's a lot of butt content in here.
I'm gonna largely steer clear the butt element of this one
and make it more sort of a-
The butt element is trying Bruce Willis and me and Jovavich.
Yeah.
We figured out-
It's love.
It's love.
It's earth, fire, air, water, butts.
Turns out the butt element was butt all along.
It turns out the final element was butt.
Shit.
Core butt Dallas.
No secret.
Dallas is spelled with two Ss at the end.
Yeah, of course.
And Gary Oldman is like,
I should have brought my hair from Dracula.
It looks like a butt.
Then I would have won whatever the thing is I'm trying to get in this movie.
Harry Buttman.
Yeah.
Oh, hello.
I'm Harry Buttman.
I'm a parody of Gary Oldman, but I think I could explain that because I'm a little
far removed from the original.
I'm going to turn this into a story.
And do you have a reservation, sir?
Yes, I do.
It's under Buttman.
B-U-T, no, I understand. You wanted to be closer and still somewhat butt related.
You could have been Gary whole man,
but that's a little, that's not kind of the, I don't know.
It sounds more like I'm the whole man,
complete in and of myself.
And I'm here on a date,
so clearly I'm looking for my other half.
Anyway, has she arrived?
She knows the reservation is under Buttman.
Oh, actually, I'm so sorry, sir.
We gave your reservation away to the Howard Stern character,
but Fartman.
We made a mistake.
We misread it.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
Fartman was here earlier and we misunderstood.
Well, let me see who's saying that.
Oh, it's Gutman from the Maltese Falcons.
I'm so sorry, sir.
He told us to do his titular dance.
And we all...
We did the Bartman and then we had to eat his shorts.
An unpleasant experience.
Anyway.
And with an eye carumba, he raced out of the place.
Do you guys remember? You saw the bark symbol.
You guys remember when the Simpsons first started,
they wanted to merchandise the hell out of it.
And they only had really a season or less of a show.
So like Bart always says Icarumba, and he always says eat my forks.
He always will say that.
And while we were planning on having a cow, he begged us not to.
Only the men though. So Dan, this poem, it's a bear and a tree, he begged us not to. Only the men though.
So Dan, this poem, it's a bear and a tree
and it's a metaphor for something in life.
Yeah, so.
We're gonna take it in sort of a large
and the real goal direction where this bear.
Bears and the real butt.
Romance with this tree and all the other bears
in the community sort of indulge it,
but hope that the bear will move
on to another bear at some point.
Sure.
Sort of a quirky indie woodland comedy.
Yeah, that sounds great.
Not twisted at all.
I like it.
Not at all twisted?
Okay.
So, here's the...
So, guys, it's finally in the public domain.
That's right.
Mac the Knife, the song. But what's not in the public domain. That's right, Mac the Knife, the song.
But what's not in the public domain is not Mac tonight.
I wanted to make this very clear.
So you gotta make something with the character
of Mac the Knife, but he cannot have a giant moon
for his head, he can't play piano,
can't wear sunglasses.
Maybe he can wear sunglasses.
He doesn't work for McDonald's.
I don't watch Seth Meyers, but I've seen enough clips
that I'm like, maybe I should.
I'd seen one, apparently he talked about Mac tonight a lot
and like people sent in a bunch of Mac tonight,
memorabilia to him that he was very distressed by.
He's like, why did I don't watch tonight?
This is something I find very funny about fans of things
where they're like, you mentioned this thing,
you must love it.
Yeah, yeah, it's like when your aunt finds out you like turtles.
So every time she sees you, she brings you like a little turtle figurine.
And you're like, now I have like an entire wall of turtle figurines.
And the thing is, I still love turtles.
Now, I mentioned that.
Seth, if you're listening, you can send me the Mac tonight stuff.
I'll keep it.
Dan would love it.
Yeah, because imagine if instead of turtles, it's Mack tonight and instead you have millions of ants
who watch you every night on television.
So Dan, so what are you gonna do with Mack the knife?
He's a guy with the knife.
His name's Mack Heath,
but you can just call him Mack if you want.
Yes, what do we know about this guy?
Something named Mack Heath here.
He doesn't have a knife.
He is the knife, right? Yeah, so that's the thing Stuart, I like where you're taking this that he is not doesn't have a knife, he is the knife. Back the knife, right?
Yeah, so that's the thing, Stuart,
I like where you're taking this,
that he is not a guy with a knife, but is a knife.
Like he's a half man, half knife,
or he's the knife that someone else uses.
Maybe it's a Pixar type thing about knives.
I'm a contestant now, now I'm in the game
and I'm doing, I'm suggesting stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I was gonna say,
maybe he's like a razor boy in Shadowrun.
He's some kind of street samurai who's, you know,
trying to fill up his, his cred stick with new yen
from the mega cores.
But the thing is he's operating outside of the law.
You know, he's sinless.
He doesn't have identification number.
This is not that different from the plot
of the three penny opera, to be honest.
Yeah.
Or is it like, you know, the 90s slang
about like macking on someone.
Like it's about managing a knife.
Oh yeah, that'd be pretty intense.
That's pretty twisted, Danny D.
Dirty Danny D.
Well, you know, it just comes natural to me.
I wanna go with mine where it's about,
he's a knife but he wants to be a fork or something like that.
He's gotta learn how it's good to be a knife.
Yeah.
And Randy Newman is like,
you got a friend in knives.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
When you made a certain way at the factory,
that's what you gotta be.
That sounds more like spring scene, but you know.
Making the cut.
Okay, so we're running late, running long.
So let's, we're just gonna go to again to everyone.
Tell the affiliates.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, we're gonna be going over,
gonna have to push back the news and Huey Lewis.
So who is, who hosts the local news now?
I'm Huey Lewis.
I'm Huey Lewis and here's the news.
I'm Huey Lewis.
I absorbed the news into me.
I expanded like Tetsuo at the end of Akira and absorbed the rest of the news into me.
So now Huey Lewis of the new flesh.
So guys, here's that character we've all been excited about.
He's in the public domain.
I mentioned him before.
I'm going to mention him again.
That's right.
Mr. Blutsworthy on Rampole Island.
How are you going to make a franchise out of this guy?
Wait, on Ramhole?
No, Rampole Island, Dan.
Get your mind out of the gutter, dirty D.
That's what I thought I heard.
Rampole Island.
You hear a Mr. Bloodsworthy, you know,
there's only one actor who can bring that guy to life
and that's Tom Hanks.
So slap that dude in that role.
Okay.
Bloodsworthy Island, that sounds awesome.
Maybe it's like a tropical paradise.
You got Tom Hanks just hanging out,
wearing like a resort wear,
making friends.
Like in, like in Castaway when he's just wearing resort wear the whole time?
Yeah. And maybe, maybe some, uh, like, maybe some local, like drug smugglers get involved
and he has to like, uh, you know, like trick them and, uh, get, save Ram Hall Island.
Yeah.
Well, now, now my mishearing, now I feel like my way of using this has to be to make
a million dollars, of course, off of the porn parody.
Everyone's been waiting for Mr. Butts Worthy on Ramble Island.
I'm glad, Dan.
You avoided Butts so much in that previous Robert Frost one, but now you're all over
it.
Okay, so.
I'm coming home.
So how are you doing a porn parody of what Stuart just came up with?
Oh, I was. Tom Hanks can't be in the porn parody of what Stuart just came up with? Oh, I was.
Tom Hanks can't be in the porn parody.
He's contractually.
Disney owns his image as Geppetto.
So they could, I guess if they use that, they could do it.
Yeah.
If Disney is like, in order to make Disney plus profitable,
we will have to start showing porn on it.
So we will be producing it with our characters.
They don't have to be in the public domain anymore to have sex with each other.
We're doing that now.
We've hired as our new head of content, Dirty D.
We've heard what you want.
Dirty D, please tell us what our characters
are gonna be doing right now on Disney plus XX.
You know, just do it, man.
All the characters, all your favorite characters,
you ever wonder if they do it?
Well, they do do it.
They do it on DisneyXXXX. and who's some of these characters like that they hit
man Daisy Daisy's like a girl duck and yeah you know Daisy and the fucking dad
from inside out yeah they're just yeah finally I don't even like doing this anymore
the rescuers you better believe they're going down under finally all the characters
finally all the characters from Treasure Planet
are gonna be doing it.
All your favorite Disney characters.
Yeah, I feel like Dan's lived in that world
so long, Elliot, that us bring it up.
We're like expecting him to be excited,
but he's like so jaded at this point.
It's not even a joke to him anymore.
It's not a joke.
People are horny for those Robin Hood boxes.
Now's your chance.
Yeah.
I guess, to see him.
To what, to have sex with them? And Dan, that's not how it works. Well, that's your chance. Yeah, I guess. For to see him. To what? To have sex with them? I'm dead. That's not how it works.
Well, that's the premium. Yeah, yeah, you get a whole VR headset.
Disney plus VR, I see. Okay. Disney plus plus. Well, I guess we figured out.
Because you turn those pluses on their side, their X's.
Oh, I see. That's the, that's the, that's his Ted talk about it. He goes,
no, let's take these pluses and turn them on their sides.
Disney.
What?
That's the power of imagination.
So guys, I guess we can.
That's the power of imagination.
Oh, it's Huey Neuiss.
It's Huey Neuiss.
Anyway.
So guys, I wanted this episode to be us showing that you
can do other things with public domain characters
besides Nathan have sex with each other and I failed.
I think the only thing you can do.
It's the only thing.
All they can do is.
Every road takes us back there.
It's almost as if original stories.
The limits of human imagination.
It's almost as if original stories
don't need to be reimagined or recreated or even adapted.
And we should focus on creating new things,
enriching that cultural clay with new ideas
that can then spur new inspirations
rather than just taking everybody's old stuff
and reusing it again.
Or, or, yes we have no bananas, Alex hit it.
All right everybody, yes we have no bananas.
It's gonna play us out because let's stick with the old stuff.
I guess the only thing you do is have characters
kill or do each other,
and there's no new ideas under the sun.
It's impossible, so let's use that public domain stuff.
This has been a self-defeating Flop House mini.
I hope you enjoyed it.
If you didn't, please send all your letters
to dirty Dan McCoy, care of Max Vaughn.
I'll eat him.
He's so hungry, everybody.
He's so twisted.
He doesn't know what to do with letters.
Normally people read letters, but I eat them.
He's so twisted, he does this thing backwards.
He's like, I go to sleep in a bathtub,
and I take a bath in a bath.
He's bizarre.
Bad bye, everybody.
So, thanks so Bad bye everybody.
So, thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed this show or even if you didn't, please leave us a five-star review on whatever podcast app you use.
If you're recommending an episode to listeners, new listeners, maybe not this one.
Maybe not this one.
This one works best if once you have affection for us.
Yeah, the MaxFun drive is coming up next month.
Please don't judge us based on this episode
and pay accordingly.
Please, thanks to our editor and producer, Alex Smith.
He goes by Howell Dottie online and does a lot of great stuff.
He does a lot of good work for us,
like putting, yes, we have no bananas.
Hopefully in the background,
while I'm talking, where else this is not gonna work, Alex?
I'm gonna be very upset if I listen to this later
and yes, we have no bananas,
it's not playing the original version of it. That's fair. That's fair. Attacking him for failure.
This has been the Flop House. We'll be back next week talking about a movie
for the time being now though. I am Elliot Kalin. I've been joined by Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington.
Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington. Keep making that IP, I guess.
Yeah, yeah, don't stop believing.
We have no bananas today.
You got a strong reply?
Yes, I don't think we got a strong reply.
You got a coconut pie?
Yes, I don't think we got a coconut pie.
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