The Flop House - FH Mini 99 - The Peach Pit Welcomes Hallie!
Episode Date: March 16, 2024Stuart returns from Australia to spring everyone's favorite podcast about the podcast The Flop House on an unsuspecting Hallie-- and also, somehow, muscle himself into an episode in the past?Do you li...ve in or around BROOKLYN, NEW YORK or OXFORD, ENGLAND? We’ve got upcoming LIVE SHOWS for you!MaxFunDrive ends on March 29, 2024! Support our show now and get access to bonus content by becoming a member at maximumfun.org/join.
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Hey, welcome everybody to another episode of The Peach Pit, the only podcast that covers
the previous episodes of the Flophouse Podcast, a podcast that's not just for jerks anymore.
I'm your host, Stuart Wellington, and joining me today, I have some really great guests.
But before we talk about those guests, I'm going to throw it to one of those guests. Dan McCoy, you have some really great guests, but before we talk about those guests, I'm gonna throw it to one of those guests.
Dan McCoy, you have some words for us, right?
This is a very confusing way to set up
what is a Max Fun Drive episode.
Max Fun Drive, of course, the time of year
where listeners like you support the shows that you love,
like the Flophouse, what this show really is outside of the fiction
of the Peach Pit, Stewart is making a face
as if he's just made by this, anyway.
Dan, stay on course, stay on course.
It's Max Fun Drive, it's Max Fun Drive.
The one time a year when we come to you
to ask for the financial support that allows us
to keep making the shows you love and tolerate,
the Flophouse can only exist because folks like you
support it at $5 a month or more.
And right now, I just want to say personally,
as the entertainment industry continues to implode,
professional podcasters is the only job I have.
So please help keep me off the streets
and take away some of the sting from the gales of laughter
that writing podcaster as your job inspires in people
by going to right now maximum fun
Org slash join and becoming a max fun member. We'll talk a little bit more about the drive
Later, but let's re-enter this peach pit
subset of the Flophouse now
Like Dan said as the Flophouse can't exist without the support of max fun supporters
As the Flophouse can't exist without the support of Max Fund supporters, the Peach Pit cannot exist without the support of the Flophouse Podcast,
a podcast that I assume you already listened to.
Now joining me today, I have all three hosts of the Flophouse Podcast,
and we're going to be talking about a special episode.
We're going to be talking about episode 419 of the Flophouse.
That's right, the Cat Person episode.
And with me are the hosts of that podcast the stars of that podcast Dan McCoy
Hallie Haglund LA Kaelin, how are you guys doing pause for like a pause for applause, please?
And laughter and laughter. Yeah, cuz you guys are doing like little dances or something. Yeah, our names are hilarious
Pretending we don't know where to sit picking up
Yeah
And pause is the perfect word for it because we talked about a movie that had cat in the title.
And when the cats have, pause.
Elliot's already on fire.
I love this.
I can't believe I'm in the room with you guys.
So, Halle, this is your first time joining us here
on the Peach Pit.
Thank you so much.
It's a big deal.
It feels like a big deal.
I actually had no idea what we were going to talk
about today, so I'm learning as we go, folks.
I think all four of us are learning as we go.
That's kind of the joy of being a human being
is that you take in information and you process it
and you learn every day.
Now, speaking of learning,
Hallie, I learned some new things about you.
Hey, if you're not learning, you're not living.
Now, having listened to the Caperson episode.
Dead people learn nothing, except what's on the other side.
Yeah, Stuart, what are we doing today?
Oh no, it's okay.
You have some more bits.
Elliot Kaelin, Lord of Bits,
is dropping some fresh hot ones on us.
But real quick, Hallie, I learned some new things about you,
as did all of the listeners.
You speak Portuguese, how did that come about?
Well, I lived abroad for two years in Argentina on the border of Paraguay.
So in the northernmost part of Argentina, also very close to Brazil.
So I became very interested in the Portuguese language.
A lot of the people in the town that I lived in were like,
Brazil's the best country in the world.
Brazilians are the most beautiful people in the world.
Everyone who lives in Brazil is the happiest in the world.
I think it's a little more complicated than that,
but it all led me to,
I wanna learn a little bit more about these people.
I wanna talk to them.
So I studied Portuguese in college
and then I spent some time abroad there.
And it was a very specific interest in the Southern Cone
that led me to this acquiring of knowledge.
Yeah.
That is fascinating.
And speaking of the Southern Hemisphere and travel,
I also just got back, I was not featured on that episode of the podcast because I just got back from traveling abroad
I was in Australia. Yeah, I was actually kind of amazed that you knew
What happened on the cat people episode considering you're not here and you've been in Australia for several weeks
We haven't even better than people who were there for the episode. Cat Person, yeah, sorry.
Well, just to fill you guys in,
I listened to an early cut of the episode
and I watched the movie Cat Person
on my flight back from Australia.
I used up my precious should have been sleeping time
watching Cat Person.
I mean, but Cat Person couldn't have taken the entire flight.
It's a two hour movie and that must be what,
an 11 hour flight? It's a two hour movie and that must be what, an 11 hour flight?
It's 15 hours from Sydney to LA
and then another six hours back to New York City.
Geez Louise.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You must have watched that a lot of times.
Yeah.
Just put Cat Person on repeat.
That's the only entertainment.
The in-flight movies were down.
I threw my books in the garbage because I was like,
cat person is going to see me through it.
I assume when you arrived in Australia, they found the books in your luggage
and they said, can't bring these, mate. And they just threw them in the trash.
These books are not allowed in Australia.
Yeah. No books at all. Yep.
Only Dollar Redos, Didgeridoo's and, I don't know, Koala Bears.
I guess if you'd called them Book redo's they would let you keep them.
If I had only thought of that.
If I declared them as book redo's.
They're like do you have anything to declare a dee-doo?
And you're like I have these books only book redo's allowed and then again threw them in
the garbage.
Yeah threw them in the in the in the pouch pocket of a kangaroo so that he could take
it to the ocean and dump them in.
Do you guys know the garbage goes the other way in Australia.
It does. Yeah, it goes back into your mouth.
The fun thing is that I did not get enough sleep.
I'm still super jet lagged.
The day I arrived, I ended up sleeping 13 hours, which just did not reset my sleep schedule.
And then I had a double session with my therapist.
So I'm a mess guys.
I'm already emotional.
I'm a Pisces.
You guys know this.
So I'm a total, I'm a wreck right now.
So let's see how this episode goes.
So, Hallie.
I've never heard of a double session with a therapist.
I want to dig into this, but I don't know.
You can tell how emotional I am.
You get twice as much closure, right?
Well, it feels like the first session was just me
explaining how my trip went.
And then the second half of the session,
which was another full session,
was just every emotional scab, old and new,
was picked fresh and left me kind of in a state
where between that and my odd like sleep schedule
left me feeling like sad and high
in a way that I was not prepared for.
Aw, Stuart.
It's okay.
Wow, sorry to hear it.
It does kind of make sense though
because I do feel like every therapy session ends
just as you're getting to the deep stuff, you know?
Yeah.
It's like, okay, well, time to go.
I'm like, but put me back together again, please.
Yeah.
Now, while I was in Australia,
I did a couple of cold plunge therapy experiences.
And so it was kind of like that.
Like after the first session, I was like,
okay, get me out of this, this hurts.
My muscles are cramping and I can't breathe.
Unfortunately, I had a whole nother session to go
and here we are.
So- And still better than a cold play therapy plunge, which is no fun.
Nobody enjoys that.
Not even members of Coldplay.
Hallie, you've talked about living in other places.
You live in Los Angeles now, but you used to live over here on the East Coast.
What do you miss most about living on the East Coast?
Dan. used to live over here on the East Coast. What do you miss most about living on the East Coast?
Dan. Aw, how sweet.
I was making eyes at Halle hoping that that was.
If you ask Elliot, Elliot just says,
pizza and then he walks away.
That's what I say, yep.
And my Ninja Turtle friends.
Well, the potential to have pizza with a Ninja Turtle,
because they do have pizza here,
but you're never going to be able to eat it with a Ninja Turtle unless they've come out for
a meeting, possibly.
Yeah, yeah, you're at Universal Studios.
I miss a lot.
I miss a lot.
I feel like I have come to romanticize New York a lot more than I actually liked it while
I was there.
I feel like people are so smart there.
They dress so cool.
You never have to drive anywhere.
You just hop on the subway.
I got so many more steps.
I was so much hotter.
You know, I had no children.
That's the New York specific.
I mean, Elliot seems to have thrown New York in the garbage by comparison.
To be honest, that's a New York thing to do.
There's garbage cans everywhere.
But I don't think it's, it's not that I've thrown New York in the garbage, it's that
I have tried to romanticize it and I've had trouble romanticizing it because as much as
I love New York and it's the greatest city in the world and it's very special to me,
I do remember a lot of the frustrations of like when Hallie's like, you don't have to
drive because you can ride the subway.
I have so many memories of sitting in a stopped subway car in the middle of a tunnel
Not knowing if I would die there if it would ever move again
Whereas if I'm in a car I can always potentially just get out of my car and abandon it on the road if the traffic is bad
enough
Ellie if you're stuck in that that subway car you could just eat your copy of the power broker and live for I don't know
Like a couple of days it would last me a little while, that's true, but then I'd be, it would be like destroying a child,
you know, it would be such a hard sacrifice to make.
But then it lives on inside you, the book.
Yeah, but I was, I mean, I was just in New Jersey for a few days recently and
got to drive through New York for a family event. That was not a pleasant family event,
but I enjoyed seeing those gray skies
and gray buildings and gray pavement all over again.
You know, it was, I did feel the power
and intensity of New York.
Yeah, I missed that.
Yeah.
Yeah, the intensity.
And I miss when I was in New York
and I used to work for a television show
and I had a regular paycheck every week.
Yeah, that was nice.
Yeah, that was pretty great. I live in New York and I miss to work for a television show and I had a pay check every week. That was pretty great.
I live in New York and I miss that as well.
So it's not a New York specific thing?
Guys, and I'm kind of the same way, you know, like it's only been a couple of days, but
already I'm missing Australia, I'm missing all the fun accents, I'm missing all the little
critters you can see running around.
I might even get one of those mullet haircuts that
all those kids over there have that have the sides extra shaved, which I guess allows their
sunglasses to stay on better. I don't know, maybe grow a little mustache. I mean, I think
it's cool for Australians that mullets and mustaches are hip again. What?
I mean, Stuart, I understand the desire to ruin something beautiful, but don't do either
of those things.
Stuart, I think you should take solace in the fact that you're not hearing Australian desire to ruin something beautiful but don't do either of those things.
I think you should take solace in the fact that you're not hearing Australian accents.
We are hearing the greatest accent in the world.
That's a heavy New York accent.
Hey, what you doing?
Get out of my face.
Oh, what's the matter with you?
Joey, Joey, Joey, tell Richie what you told me.
Joey, listen to this.
Bagel.
Tony, Tony, do you know what Joey said to Richie what you told me. Joey, Louis, listen to this.
Bagel.
Tony, Tony, do you know what Joey said to Richie?
Guys, what a, this, these mating calls.
Now, pizza, Derek Jeter, Jane Jacobs, New York, yeah.
The next question is for Hallie Hagland again.
You can text Stanford White, yeah.
Oh, Stanny White. I love him.
Hey, hey, Stanny White.
Hey, tell me that thing you said about the other guy.
Anyway, you said.
Next question is for Hallie again.
How do you take your martinis?
I take them.
Gin or vodka?
Gin, always.
Sapphire, gin.
You love colonialism. Sometimes Plymouth. Oh, always. Sapphire, gin. You love colonialism. Sometimes Plymouth.
Oh, okay. Also colonialism.
Naval rum, or naval gin, yeah, I like it.
Naval rum is rum that you squeeze out of a person's belly button, right?
I saw that in a movie once.
I like them very dry.
By David Cronenberg.
Like how dry? Do you just like to like show the glass the bottle
or do you actually pour some in there?
Yeah, no liquid.
Do you do a wash?
No, I don't do a wash.
Okay.
But for a long time I was, you know,
historically I've always gone olives.
I don't really like it dirty.
If it's going to be dirty,
just like the tiniest bit dirty,
but I'm not a big super dirty,
not super dirty gal. Just like a bit dirty, but I'm not a big, super dirty, not super dirty gal.
Just like a little dirty, yeah, exactly.
Just so that I know I'm doing something wrong,
but not so bad that I feel bad about it.
No, I wanted to be, Martina be fucked up.
Call the cops.
I would have spent the next day wandering with my head
and my hands going, what did I drink last night?
How could I have done that?
Stewart just tips a shot into some brine.
I mean, that sounds great.
That sounds great, Dan.
I had a cigarette martini at a fancy cocktail bar
here in the city, and I think they smoked the olives
or some shit, because it was like,
it was like kind of smokey, but not a lot.
It was great.
Was it good?
Did you like it? It was delicious.
It was great. It was probably like. It was great. Was it good? Did you like it? It was delicious.
It was great.
It was probably like $28 or something.
Well, I've started taking them with a twist recently.
I've grown tired of so many olives.
I feel like it gets too salty by the end,
even when it's no olive juice, just the olives.
So I started doing with a twist.
Thanks for asking.
Yeah, no, thanks for answering.
That's what the Peach Fit's all about,
is finding out more about these floppers.
Speaking about finding out floppers,
we learned a little bit about a little dream Elliot had
of a Seinfeld spec script,
and the world was on fire wanting more.
So now that I have three bonafide TV writers with me,
can you guys answer, have you,
is there any non, what, off the air television show
that you would like to write a script for?
Any show that's not on the air now?
Or are you kind of confusing me?
Okay, okay, yeah.
A show that is not on the air now.
Not on the air now.
It's over, yes.
Part of the peach pit is trying to figure out
exactly what I'm trying to say.
It's like reading a Gene Wolf novel.
Yeah, the Peach Pit.
Yeah, I keep looking up words on my phone in the dictionary.
And we figure it out, of course, we go to the Peach Pit website and plug in all the
clues that you've gathered from the episode.
You gotta wear the special glasses.
And then you win a prize, that prize being the knowledge that there is no prize.
You know, it was like, I wrote a,
you know, The Simpsons is still on the air,
but I wrote a Simpsons spec about 10 years later
than anyone would care about a Simpsons spec,
and that was like 15 years ago now, but like, I-
Give us a taste.
Well, let's pretend, what was it about?
What happened in it?
Was that the one where Bart killed Homer by accident
and he had to hide the body?
Doh!
Homer would have been dead, so he wouldn't have said doh,
but you know.
That's what he says in that.
I think it was.
I didn't do it.
I think that's what he'd say, yeah.
I think it was called Jesus Christ Superstation
and it was about how Homer took over
the local public airwaves that,
Ned had religious programming on there,
but Homer took it over and had his version
of religious programming that was much more popular.
That's a good plot.
Yeah. That's a good premise.
Simpsons. That's great.
Producers, snap this up or steal it.
Sure.
Elliot Halley, have you guys got any, you can't do Night Court.
Night Court's already back and not as good as it used to be.
Yeah, well, I mean, I would, I mean, that Seinfeld, I would love to, I think I might
write that spec strip if I can find the time just for the exercise of it.
But love to write a news radio. I love that show. Oh, yeah, the night court of my generation news radio. Yeah, I
Would do a golden girls. I'd love to do. Yeah, I do Herman's head
Yeah, or babes
Interested in the show Babes. Howie's always been interested in the show Babes.
Yeah.
I have a lot.
Wait, what's the show Babes?
You don't remember Babes?
No.
You don't remember the show that ran for one season on Fox in the early 90s?
No.
It's about a bunch of pigs in Australia.
No.
It was about three beautiful big sisters who...
Three Rubenesque sisters.
I'm listening.
I remember the earliest promos were them chasing Bart Simpson.
It was implied that they were going to eat him, right?
No, but at the very end of the credits they say...
Is he a butterfinger inside?
Wait, what happened?
I'm sorry.
They're all lying on a fold out couch and it goes, buh-buh, buh-buh, buh-bay-bes.
And then the couch breaks and they all go,
ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
But I liked it.
I don't know, I liked it.
Wipe out.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Okay, so yeah, I mean, I haven't seen any episodes of babes,
but what kind of a script would you write for babes?
Oh, geez.
You're really putting me on the spot here. Yeah, that's what we do.
We ask the hard-hitting questions.
She knows this is a pitch meeting.
You know, one of them is going through menopause.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that sounds perfect for the Fox.
And they don't know which one, they have to figure it out?
Yeah.
They're just dot, dot, dot shenanigans. That's the logline.
That's the title of the episode. Metapause? Dot dot dot shenanigans.
You used to be able to sell a sitcom with a pitch like that. Not anymore.
Because TV is closed for business.
Let me tell you a little bit more about Max Fun Drive.
This is dropping just before Max Fun Drive technically starts, but you know what?
Doesn't matter.
One day before, it's Max Fun Drive.
That's what I say.
What is it?
It's the one time of year we all come together to invite you to support this show as a member
or by boosting, by boosting or upgrading your membership. What's a
Max Fund membership? It pays for shows directly. You pledge support and you get
to pick the shows that you listen to and those shows then get your money. A little
off the top goes to the network that helps us keep things running and that
work by the way that is now at this time
Worker-owned it is a worker-owned cooperative
Meaning that your money goes to us the creators and it goes to max fund worker owners and not to some
CEO who commissions entertainment then deletes it as a tax write-off
It's not going to some shadowy overseer named Chexnotes. Jesse Thorne, continue Dan.
Not anymore.
If you are one of the people
who inexplicably was mad about that,
it's not going there.
It's going only to worker owners.
Hey, why is member support key?
I'm sure you have had something that you love,
whether it be a TV show or a podcast,
canceled in the past year
because the corporate overlords
didn't think it made enough money and
We don't have those people you're our bosses you decide whether we get to keep going
But that means that if you want us to keep going we can only do it with your help
Being independent means we can keep doing the stupid shit
We think it's funny because we're betting that you think it is funny too. There are no gatekeepers
We make the show we want to make and that you think it is funny too. There are no gatekeepers.
We make the show we wanna make.
And if you like it, we are betting on you to support it.
So will you please join us as a member?
Here's the ways you can do it.
You can join, upgrade, or boost your membership.
If you've never been a member,
go to maximumfund.org slash join.
There's all sorts of levels of support.
All memberships at the $5 a month or more level
get access to the entire library bonus content
for all Max Fund shows.
I'll talk more about our bonus content later.
But in addition to all our stuff from previous years,
one thing that's gonna be in there
is our Spawn live show that we did in LA.
So if you want to hear about Spawn from 1997, one of the wildest, most misbegotten, bad CGI
superhero movies ever.
You can only do that with the bonus content.
You can upgrade.
If you're already a member, you can upgrade and receive some cool thank-you gifts. This year Max Fun has
returned to enamel pins for the $10 a month tier and for ours let me say if
you ever wanted a pen of Werner Herzog saying I'm a bad little boy this is your
chance. This is the only way you're gonna get it. Yeah you can boost if you're
already a member but you want to help a little extra
But you can't you know fully upgrade to the next tier. There's an option to boost by a couple dollars a show
and
Dollars or so not dollars a show. I sort of slurred those words. I want to make it very clear very clear
There are also different ways to pay depending on what is right for you
You can join monthly at five dollar a month or more as mentioned,
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So please go to maximumfun.org slash join
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Now let's get into Cat Person the movie,
but also let's talk a little bit about Cat Person the book
because unlike the story of you,
I did not read the short story.
Now granted, I had plenty of time to read it
while I was on my flight.
Instead, I read two romance novels
and the first Black Company novel.
Those were all great.
So I had plenty of time to read this, but I did not.
So you guys are gonna have to answer
a couple of questions for me.
First of all, is Isabella Rossellini in the short story?
That's a big no, unfortunately.
Like either her or her character.
You guys didn't ask that?
Neither one.
I mean, like I was gonna say,
like if you take the first two thirds of the movie and then remove all the bullshit from it, that. Yeah, you know. Neither one. I mean, like, I was going to say, like, if you take the first two-thirds of the movie
and then remove all the bullshit from it, that's basically the short story, but we'll
answer more questions.
Okay, so I have a question about Isabella Rossellini now.
So her character, if you'll recall, was the college professor who is for, like, entomology
or sociology or anthropology or something.
She's spooky stuff. She's a professor of spooky stuff. who is for like entomology or sociology or anthropology or something.
She's spooky stuff. She's a professor of spooky stuff.
She seems to be like, yeah, she's a biologist specializing in the macabre.
Uh-huh. And she has an obsession with this ant colony she's been cultivating.
Now do you think at any point they were considering also making her Margot,
the lead character's aunt, if She's also obsessed with ants.
Now for what thematic reason would this be happening?
No, I'm guessing they never considered that.
You know, so they wouldn't have to, they have to pay per word in the script,
but homonyms don't count.
Oh, that's a good deal.
You get sued by the word supplier.
It's like, these are two different words. They sound the same. That's a good deal. You get sued by the word supplier. It's like, these are two different words.
Uh-uh, they sound the same.
That's a little word court.
Okay, so that was a satisfying answer to my question.
Now, you were saying all the bullshit's been taken out.
Now, in the short story, is there a dog character?
No, no dog.
What about the cats?
Do the cats ever show up in the short story?
The point is you don't see the cats.
Yeah, I think she does like wonder, right?
In the short story about like,
but in the short story, I think she's also like,
where the fuck are the cats?
But there's no scene where she opens up a door
and two cats run out.
Everything at the end where she has decided to attach,
invade his home to stock, to surveil him
and everything they fight, that's all original to the film.
Okay, so.
Oh yeah, to the film.
So wait, does that mean, so that makes the final act,
like that's a little bit of like fan fiction element there
where they're like, everybody when they read
the original story was dying to know about these cats.
What happened next?
Yeah, let's give them the cats.
What happened next about the cats?
And what if we could get a dog in there?
I mean, the implication that he has been following her to set up this first
meeting, I believe is not, I think that's all new to the movie too.
Short story, it's a, everything is above board in terms of they meet at a movie
theater.
He is not a kind of, he's not a haunted figure
who with his black hound stalks the streets
looking for women to meet cute with.
Yep.
Okay, and Harrison Ford.
Is Harrison Ford mentioned in the short story at all?
No, that's all original to the movie too, right?
Yeah.
Now there's a sequence where Margot imagines
that Robert, played by Nicholas Braun,
is seeing a therapist.
Do you think at any point in the process,
in her imagination, the therapist would be played
by Harrison Ford?
Like as his shrinking character specifically?
I mean, that would be great.
He's already got the costume
I have to mention that when that character of Robert saw shrinking
He was disappointed in Harrison Ford for playing a character who's not super cool
Oh, he's still a little cool because he doesn't care about anybody or anything. I assume
the script went out to Harrison and he's like
This won't this won't pay for my weed
out to Harrison and he's like this won't this won't pay for my weed. Calista, should I do this? Calista, should I do this movie? That's his long-time romantic
partner Calista Flockhart. Should I do this? Should I? No, I'm not going to. And they went
back to bed probably, yeah.
Okay, well that's a satisfactory answer. Now every time you say that it sounds less and
less like it's a satisfactory answer.
I believe I've told my Harrison Ford story before on this podcast, right?
I don't remember.
I would love to hear anything.
When I worked at Barnes Noble many years ago as a young lad, this was in the year, this
was all the way back in the year 2002, 22 years ago, when I worked at the Barnes Noble
Chelsea in Manhattan.
Don't look for it.
It's not there anymore.
It closed down.
I don't know what that space is these days.
But when one day Harrison Ford came in to, I guess,
check out the place to see if it was cool enough
or chill enough for him and Calista Flockhart
to do their holiday shopping in,
if they weren't going to get mobbed by all their fans,
it passed muster or passed mustard if it was a squeeze tube.
And he and Calista Flockhart came in, and I worked at the information desk at the time.
It was my job to go get books from different parts of the store.
And I felt bad because I seemed, I by coincidence always had to go through whatever section
they were in at that moment to get to where I was going.
It was not me being a Gawker Stalker at all.
And I overheard the following conversation when they were in the poetry section.
Which would have been appropriate
if you were being a Gawker Stalker
to the movie we're talking about, Cat Person.
That's very true, yeah, but I wasn't.
And this is the conversation I heard
while they were in the poetry section
of the Barnes & Noble.
I heard Calista Flockhart say,
you don't read poetry.
And Harrison Ford said, sure, yeah, sure I do.
I read poetry.
And I thought to myself,
even Han Solo has the same conversation with his girlfriend
that all guys have with their girlfriends.
That's great.
Now, there is a-
Or Indiana Jones, whatever character you want me to refer,
or Henry, what character you want me to refer to?
Henry.
I was dubious about the essentialism of this conversation
that you claim is universal.
That was the part that I was making a face about.
Every single man has had it with every single female romantic partner since the beginning of time.
Adam had it with Eve, Oknaten with Nefertiti, all of them.
As mentioned on the podcast, fictional characters.
I think Audrey is less interested in poetry than I am.
Oh, well. Then I guess I know who wears the pants in that family. Both of you.
Oh, sure.
I mean, for poetry, would it be like panty-leaves?
Well, we both do a lot of time.
I mean...
Yeah, yeah.
Because otherwise...
Except for, who does the pants in those families?
Like, ha, ha, ha, ha, that's pants.
Panting.
Panting like a dog.
Panting?
Yeah.
Does that in a dog sentence?
Probably the cats.
Yeah, that actually makes sense, yeah.
How ironic that the cats are making the dog sounds.
Yeah.
The topsy-turvy world we live in.
So we're talking about Harrison Ford here.
Now, Nicholas Braun's character uses Harrison Ford
in many of his movies as a role model
for how he should behave romantically.
Can you guys answer what Harrison Ford character
would be a good role model for a man to follow?
Not necessarily just romantically,
we could talk about in life in general.
I mean, it seems like in the fugitive,
before his wife passes away, they had a good relationship.
He's so devoted to her and declaring his name, but to her.
I mean, he's persistent. He's very persistent.
He doesn't give up.
Tracks down the killer.
And in the middle of all of that,
he still has the time to save a young boy at the hospital
who's been diagnosed incorrectly.
And he's also immune to jumping off of really high heights
into water.
That doesn't hurt him.
That's his superpower.
That's his one superpower that nobody knew about
until he was put in that situation.
Okay, that's a pretty good one.
You guys got anything?
You got any?
And he's a doctor.
But regarding Henry,
once he relearns how to be a human,
once he forgets that he was a terrible person
and becomes a good person.
That's a good one.
I wouldn't kick that guy out of my life.
That's true.
I mean, you gotta put in a lot of effort up top, you know, sort of like rebuilding Henry.
Yeah.
But, yeah.
Rebuilding Henry was the prequel, right?
Yeah.
Regarding rebuilding.
Yeah.
I guess Rick Deckard, he really is able to process the fact that he's a robot pretty
well.
Yeah.
You know, and that's a big blow to the psyche.
It's hard to get over that.
And yet he's able to do it.
And I admire him for that, I guess.
Also, he wears a trench coat real well.
He looks super cool.
Super cool.
I mean, he's a tool of oppression.
That's not great.
That's not cool.
Well, what about like working girl?
Well, no, he changes clothes in front of his staff.
That's not cool.
Let's see, what about, does he ever play a character who is nice to people?
I mean, Henry after the accident.
What about when he saved, this isn't a movie, but remember, didn't he like save someone
when he was a pilot?
Yeah, he did do that.
In real life, that's true.
That Harrison Ford.
Okay, so Harrison.
The real Harrison.
Yeah, I mean, the real guy seems like, he's sort of grumpy, but like, you know, he's also
kind of like a funny stone guy.
I bet he's pretty friendly when you, if you're not bothering him.
I have, so wait, quick story.
It didn't happen to me.
It happened to my very good friend.
But my friend was working a temp job on the Upper West Side, so he was, you know, he didn't
usually get off at the subway stop, but then he was regularly getting off it for
a week.
Every day for the first three days he was working this temp job, he passed Harrison
Ford when he was getting out of the subway.
On the fourth day, Harrison Ford looked at him and said, birds of a feather, and just
kept walking.
He seems like a pretty cool guy.
That's pretty cool, I like that.
Perfect sort of like semi enigmatic, just as you asked.
It also could double as a like,
I know you're following me, please stop.
You know, which I don't know if he meant it that way.
That's not the vibe I got.
Shout out to Rob Cudhill, if he's listening somewhere.
That's his story.
That is a good story.
I think that is cool.
And he was president once,
but we don't know about his policies.
It's possible that even though he's very good at getting guys off his plane,
that maybe he also does some bad stuff policy-wise.
It's mostly throwing terrorists off planes.
He's like, get off my plane, and the audience goes, yeah, and he goes,
and we've got to outlaw gay marriage at the national level.
And they're like, oh, what? Hold on, that's not okay.
Okay. We need to cut entitlement spending
and welfare spending for our military buildup.
No, no, President Ford, don't do that.
So, second President Ford.
Yeah, I was just thinking that.
That's true.
Yeah, I mean, in the movie, it's not President Ford.
He isn't?
Is he President Richard Kimball?
Yeah.
His story of being unjustly accused of his wife's murder really captured the nation's attention.
I think he could run. I think he has a platform.
He can run really well. Have you seen the Fugitive?
That whole movie is him running.
Running through the streets of Chicago.
Those are not easy streets to run through. You hit a river at one point.
One of the highlights of- Actually, I ran the Chicago Marathon
and that's one of the easiest marathons to run.
Very flat.
Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
But what if you're being chased by Timerly Jones?
I guess that makes it easier to run, to be honest.
Way easier.
Motivation.
Yeah.
Really motivating you, yeah.
Also, doesn't he have one leg?
Is he the one-
Timerly Jones?
Wait, in Lonesome Dove,
was he the one who got his leg amputated or was it a...
Ellie would be the one to know this.
I don't remember.
It's been so long since I saw Lonesome Dove.
Wait, let me text Larry McMurtry.
Oh, too slow.
I've got some bad news for you, Stuart.
He's not responding.
It truly was.
Wait, wait, I got three dots.
The last picture show.
It's only three dots.
Okay, so one of the highlights of the Cat Person episode for me was the moment when all three of you managed to call out movies that happened to be released in 1994.
I was very impressed by that.
So on the subject of 1994, I wanted to know if you could guess what the top domestic box
office movie of 1994 was, since you're all experts at 1994.
Uh, was that the year of the Lion King?
Dan got number one, okay? You guys have a chance to get anything in the top five.
Number one is Lion King.
Uh, Forrest Gump, five? Number one is Lion King.
Forrest Gump, right?
Number two, baby.
Wow.
The pressure's really on.
There was a time when Forrest Gump was the number two,
a movie like Forrest Gump was the number two movie
in the country.
Yeah.
That would be, if you, I mean, regardless of the quality
or not quality of Forrest Gump,
and there are things I like about it,
things I don't like about it,
a movie about a guy who just happens to live through events in the 60s and 70s and people
are like, we love this movie.
And now that would be, I guess it would be like a prestige TV series that goes on for
10 seasons or something like that.
Yeah, everybody would love it.
You got anything Hal?
And then movies.
So was Armageddon later?
Was Armageddon like, yeah.
And Independence Day was later, right?
Was that 95? Yep.
Listen, a couple of Griffin Newman's over here.
Okay, I mean we did pretty good.
You guys did pretty good.
You got the top two.
The rest of the top five is True Lies,
The Santa Clause, and The Flintstones.
Wow. I wouldn't have gotten that.
I didn't realize The Flintstones was number five.
That was it, that, they didn't make it?
The live action one?
The live action one.
Yeah, with Johnny Gantz.
And our boy Harry Ford brings up number six,
clear and present danger.
Danger.
Okay, then speed.
Clear and present, stay it all together with me folks.
Danger.
Dan's favorite movie in 1994, Speed, came out,
came in at number seven.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Thank you, I guess.
Okay.
So that was Top Box Office.
Can you guys name some of the,
it was also a big year for the Oscars.
Have you guys ever heard of the Oscars?
We're kind of in an award season here,
here at the Flophouse.
So, can you guess some of the, let's say, best actor winner?
Tom Hanks, wasn't it? He won.
Yeah, I was going to ask whether this is for films that came out then in 94,
or you're talking about the previous year.
No, these are from the previous year. I tricked you.
But Tom Hanks did win
Win for that was for Philadelphia, right?
That was when Tom Hanks won back-to-back best actor Oscars right for Philadelphia and far scum
Mm-hmm. Was it did Schindler's List win for Best Picture that year?
No Schindler's List. Yeah, one for actual 1994. Yep.
Hmm.
The best picture winner for the year previous, which is what we're talking about.
Nope, it was Schindler's List. You're right.
Yeah, because it came out in 1993.
Because 93 was the year that Steven Spielberg had both Jurassic Park and Schindler's List, which is amazing.
That's amazing two movies have come out in the same year because they're so similar.
When you could just write a list and win an Oscar
Must be nice. Now we got to write whole scripts.
Dialogue in them, yeah. Guys and based on what we've been talking about,
I would argue the majority of this Gap Person podcast,
can you guess who was the winner of Actor in a Supporting Role?
It was in 1994 for movies from 1990.
Denzel Washington?
No.
What have we been talking about most of this podcast?
Harrison Ford!
Who was it?
Tommy Lee Jones.
Tommy Lee Jones.
For the Fugitive.
Oh, okay.
That's right.
We got there.
We got there eventually.
We did.
It was TLJ.
Tommy Lee Jones.
Yeah.
I did guess Babes before we got there.
Back for another game?
You know it.
What's going on?
Just one more week till Max Fun Drive.
Hard to believe.
It's been a heck of a year since the last one.
We're now a worker-owned co-op.
We raised $50,000 for charity last year.
And we've added a bunch of awesome new shows.
But do you think we're ready to do it again?
Absolutely.
Lovely new gifts are lined up, the episodes will be amazing, and wait till everyone hears the bonus content.
Yeah, plus they know to go to MaximumFun.org slash newsletter so they're getting all the news.
Oh, like that Meetup Day is on Thursday, March 21st.
Then what's bothering you?
Me? Oh, nothing.
We're all set for Max Fun Drive to start on Monday, March 18th.
I just didn't want you to see this coming.
Check!
What? Hang on!
Most of the plants humans eat are technically grass.
Most of the asphalt we drive on is almost a liquid.
The formula of WD-40 is San Diego's greatest secret.
Zippers were invented by a Swedish immigrant love story.
On the podcast Secretly Incredibly Fascinating, we explore this type of amazing stuff.
Stuff about ordinary topics like cabbage and batteries and socks.
Topics you'd never expect to be.
The title of the podcast, Secretly Incredibly Fascinating.
Find us by searching for the word secretly
in your podcast app.
And at maximumfun.org.
Before we move on, I'm breaking in yet again
to say a little bit about Max Fun Drive.
I'm going to focus on the bonus content.
Max Fun has a library full of bonus content
you can enjoy from all your favorite MaxFun shows
And it's gotten really big over the years
You can get access to the entire library of bonus content for every single MaxFun show when you join it
Just five dollars a month or more if you're thinking strictly about value. Hey, that's a great value
You might be look you might be supporting some creators on platforms like patreon. That's great
We have chosen to partner with Max Fund because being in this community
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We can ask you for money less frequently,
but more energy into making a show that you love.
But sometimes I might see complaints that,
oh, if this or that show was on Patreon,
you get more bonus content.
I understand where that mindset comes from.
Capitalism has poisoned our brains
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But look we take stuff that might normally be paywalled
We give it away for free upfront in the hopes that you'll kick us a tip to support us and then the bonus content We do give us a little extra. Thank you that we hope you appreciate and we hope you appreciate this model as well
We're excited for this year's bonus content as mentioned on day one
There's access to all of the bonus episodes. As mentioned on day one, there's access to
all of the bonus episodes we've made for previous years, including for instance
some RPG shows where we played cartoon dogs. Stuart ran us through a little
adventure. Yeah, it was a little adventure. Little adventure. It was an awfully big adventure.
You got a big adventure on there too. Yeah.
Plus, you'll get this year's bone, our first bonus show for this year is our live show
from Los Angeles where we talked about 1997's Spawn.
The movie that kicked off the superhero craze.
The movie, dare say it, responsible for all superhero movies afterwards.
Prove us wrong. Mm-hmm.
But that's not all.
We're gonna do, later in the year,
we're gonna drop these when we can,
a mini-series on a schlock director,
sort of a blech check, if you will,
where we're gonna talk about some of the films
of Graydon Clark.
That works better written than it does said out loud.
Blech check.
I don't like it.
We previously touched on this director in the main feed
in our first Gillian Flynn episode
where we discussed the mutant cat movie, Uninvited.
But we're going to do a deeper dive.
We'll discuss the 80s sex comedy joysticks,
the 90s sexy dance movie, The Forbidden Dance,
and the later in the 90s sci-fi movie, Star Games,
featuring inexplicably Tony Curtis.
And on top of that-
Highlights from the filmography of Graydon Clark.
Yes. Yes.
On top of that, just wanted to mention in passing,
we have teamed with StagePilot yet again
to do some upcoming video streams of some of our live shows.
We taped two shows at Vidiots,
one of which had Hallie in it,
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These are beautifully produced multi-camera tapings.
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So that was a little blast from the past with us focusing on 1994,
the year that is on everybody's lips.
Hollywood's greatest year.
Sure. Yeah.
Now there's another-
1994.
I was 12, still a preteen.
Hmm.
I don't like that.
What was that?
What?
I don't like that at all.
What's that imply?
I don't like the implication. Well, let What? What's that imply? I don't like the implication.
Well, let's just say the cat person might be interested.
Back to the story.
I will say this, in defense of the cat person, that he is interested in a 20-year-old woman.
She is of legal age.
There's never an implication that he's a petified.
Not legal drinking age.
That's fair.
Good point. Good point. Or is a 12-year-old. A 20-year-old woman that he's a pedophile. Not legal drinking age. That's fair, good point, good point.
A 20 year old woman that he believes is slightly older,
at least, right? Yes.
He certainly likes that she exudes youth,
but not childhood.
Yeah, guess who else exudes youth?
A 12 year old.
No, no, no, no.
Don't like it.
You're just saying you.
I don't like this answer. No, don't like it. I like the question even less. Well, a, no. They were just saying you. Don't like this answer.
No, don't like it.
I like the question even less.
Well, at 12 I also did.
There's a point of contention,
specifically one of Elliot's contention with this movie,
Cat Person, that it featured too many needle drops.
And what I would like to be, like your take on is,
what's the difference between a needle drop
and just a song?
That's what, that was my question.
I asked before we started recording, I think.
I still don't understand.
I don't, well, I was at first I was gonna say,
I don't think that there necessarily is one.
I think that they're used often just interchangeably.
But maybe I would say if I was pressed that like a song is like.
You were pressed?
A member?
If, you know, sometimes there's just like a song
sort of on the soundtrack that like the film doesn't
make a big deal out of, it's just like,
whether diegetic or not diegetic, it's just like there,
whereas a needle drop maybe underlines a moment,
more like to bring up one that, you know,
I know bothered some people,
didn't bother me particularly, but I get what it is.
It Don't Bother Me, the song from the end of Nashville.
Yes.
No, like in like Captain Marvel,
when just a girl plays during the big fight at the end,
like that's like very much like a needle drop, I would say.
Yeah, I would say for me...
People had problems with Captain Marvel?
Yeah. I'm sure all for rational good reasons
that have no underpinnings of anything else.
Yeah, yeah, I think needle drop not being necessarily
a technical or scientific term is kind of
messy. But I think for me, it's when a pop song is used as punctuation, either to like,
be like, something's happening or to like, let's dance and kind of underline and make
really obvious a thing. Often, I mean, the needle droppiest movie is Suicide Squad, the
first one, where often the songs are not even related to what's going on on screen. It's literally just new shot, new pop song, new shot, new pop song. And so there
are a couple scenes in Cat Person where it just felt like the music, it was like as soon
as it cut to a new scene, a new pop song started. And then as soon as that scene was over, that
song stopped and another one started. It felt very artificial to me.
So for instance, the use of Gimme More by Britney Spears would be a needle drop.
But what about the scene that follows shortly after in the, what, the firearm store, the
self-defense store, where in the background you hear the song, Damn I Wish I Was Your
Lover playing?
Is that a needle drop?
I don't remember the scene well enough to be honest.
So I think the answer means no.
The answer means no?
The answer means no.
Is it playing in the background in the store or is it playing on the soundtrack?
Yeah, it's playing in the background in the store.
If it's in the store, so this is, I'm also going to make a distinction from needle drop.
If it is diegetic music, if it's music that is organic to the scene coming from a source in the scene, I don't think of it as a needle drop.
Like when he puts on his makeout mix or his sex mix, you know,
when she goes to his house, that doesn't feel like a needle drop to me.
But when it is non-diegetic, if it's not within the scene, it feels like a needle drop to me.
Sex mix is the worst kind of Chex mix.
Just like...
So you think, I don't know.
It's just so messy.
You got to wear clothes for it.
Oh, what a prude.
I mean, to be fair, I've never been a fan of Chex Mix because it's like, here's two things
you like and three things you don't.
Find the stuff you like in it.
But if there was some sex hidden in there, maybe it's worth the hunt.
I don't know.
Interesting.
I love Chex Mix just for the record.
What is it about Chex Mix that you like?
So salty.
But you were saying you don't like that much salt in your drink.
I know.
I know. Because I'm drinking, but when I'm eating.
Ali's complex.
She is.
She has layers.
Yeah, like an onion, like a salty onion.
So real quick, since we're talking about music and movies,
favorite soundtracks or soundtrack CDs that you've owned
or favorite score?
That's the thing.
I have I have owned more score CDs than really soundtrack CDs.
But like, uh, yeah, this is me.
We're talking to it.
But like I've owned a number of Ennio Morricone's scores.
And I really like the one for Good, the Bad and the Ugly I love.
Um, I'm a big fan of, uh, Jay Goldsmith score for the Plan of the apes, you know, and I had those but I never had
Yeah, I'm a huge fan of the score for for chopping mall. We've all talked about that. We all love scores
I'm tired of hearing you talk about the score for chopping
I was a big fan of the score for untamed heart the Marisa Tome movie where Christian Bale gets a baboon heart. Yeah
I know the plot line of Untamed Heart.
Okay.
Is this Christian Bale?
No, it's Christian Slater.
No, sorry, Christian Slater.
Okay, that's not the...
I was like, this sounds like...
Christian Bale plays the heart.
That sounds like too high class a Christian for this movie.
No.
I liked...
The first one that came to mind is the High Fidelity soundtrack.
I mean, I'm also like, you know, a child of the 90s.
So I had, you know, like Pulp Fiction and Trainspotting and stuff like that.
The Crow, Judgment Night.
Sure.
Tower Records.
Now that...
That was a good one.
Now that I'm a middle-aged man who like...
Hey, girl.
...acquired a turntable a few years back...
Speed?
American Werewolf in Paris.
acquired a turntable a few years back. So speed?
American Werewolf in Paris.
I'm gonna, as a middle-aged man,
I'm gonna bring up a movie that is all but forgotten,
but there's a movie called FM
that is just like a double album
of like album oriented rock from the 70s
that I'm like, I wouldn't want these individual records,
but as a soundtrack, I love it.
Speaking of soundtracks, speaking of Forrest Gump,
talk about an epic soundtrack.
Yeah, that was a big thing.
There was a double album soundtrack
that was in Rotational Audit at my house growing up.
V Popular.
All the classic rock that my parents loved to tell me
was better than the music that came before or after it.
Exactly.
It was the American graffiti or big chill soundtrack of its day.
Yeah.
And Elliot hears this and storms off in a huff wearing his JNCO jeans with his
chain wallet dragging on the floor as he goes off to listen to his Slipknot.
Yeah, I think the audience understands pretty clearly that I'm a huge nu metal
and Slipknot fan.
Yeah, I love it.
Yeah.
You're a freak on a leash and we love that about you.
So speaking of freaks on leashes, there's a moment...
My favorite thing, I will say I do like Slipknot for giving us the inspiration for the Conan O'Brien bit,
The Slipknot's, when it's just...
I forgot who it was, John Glazer and the two other guys.
They just, there's peanut shells all over the ground and they're just slipping on them.
And they sing a song about how they're the slip nuts. Yeah.
So there's a scene in Cat Person where Margot has a little, like a little bit of a date
in her college classroom where Robert brings her some fruity pebbles, a specific type of
fruity pebbles and other snacks from 7-eleven which by the way when I was in Australia
I heard a convert a radio commercial for 7-eleven which pitched it as like sick of having leftovers for lunch
You can just go to 7-eleven and I'm like is this pitch to like 12 year olds only
You get food at 7-eleven, you can get hot dogs, you can get hot dogs with pretzel rolls on them, you can get chicken wings.
Nachos, nachos.
One of those sandwiches that's on that like heater tray that you're like, I don't know, what is this?
I guess I'm showing my food snobbery here.
Look, if you've never traveled on Christmas and had to figure out what you're going to eat for dinner from a convenience store, then you're living a better life than I have.
I mean, I've done it. I'm just saying, I'm not gonna be drawn in by-
You shouldn't pitch it as a commercial.
Yeah, advertising isn't gonna be like,
you know what, I am gonna have lunch at 7-Eleven.
If you're having lunch at a 7-Eleven,
that is a choice made out of necessity.
Yeah, because it's only leftovers otherwise.
I heard in Japan they have fresh sushi at 7-Elevens,
and they have to change it out every hour.
Oh, wow.
Listeners chime in, let us know.
Listeners to the Peach Bit.
So if somebody was trying to impress you much, if somebody was trying to send up a green
flag in the old Dayton world, what breakfast cereal would they bring to you as a treat?
That shows that they understand you or just get what you're craving.
What breakfast cereal would somebody bring you?
No, that any breakfast cereal would make me feel understood since it's not particularly
a thing I think about.
I mean, there's one breakfast cereal that I like.
It is the most boring one.
It is called Morning Oat Crunch and it's basically a replacement for for a Quaker oat squares Which which got too sweet for me and my wife does get it for me frequently
She knows I like to have a breakfast and snack on it. So she does understand me and I married the right lady
Sorry ladies
Like oh go on Hallie I
would say golden grams or
checks
Wheat checks. I think wheat checks. Or kicks. Kid tested, mother approved.
Kicks always scratch up the roof of my mouth too much. I have a sensitive upper mouth.
You know, I actually love grapennuts. You can't eat grapennuts solo.
I love grapennuts. They're so good when they get good and soggy.
Uh-huh, and it's kind of gross, but I think that's because I enjoy a little controlled discomfort.
Oh.
Maybe if my prospective lover got me Captain Crunch,
which I haven't had in a long time,
but then fed it to me so my hands don't get sticky.
Ah, okay.
They would get extra points from me.
Okay, somebody start drawing Dan feeding Elliot
Captain Crunch.
Okay.
I like corn checks,
because they kind of taste like,
you know, like a tortilla chip that I like,
but without the salt.
What about crispics?
Crispics is good.
Crispics are very good, yeah.
You get the corn, you got the rice.
I also, if I want a little treat,
maybe some honey bunches of oats.
I like.
That's, I call it the best.
Bunches of oats in this economy?
Mm-hmm.
You just get one oat.
You only have one oat, no honey, sorry.
Now there's a moment,
there's a moment in the movie where they're talking about
the movies they've seen the most, Margot and Robert.
Robert, of course, has watched Empire Strikes Back a zillion times.
Margot's favorite movie, most watched movie, is Spirited Away.
And we all kind of agree that Spirited Away feels like a movie that he would have seen.
Yeah.
Yeah, my guess is he should have started telling her facts about Miyazaki
as if she didn't know anything about it, you know?
Yeah, man, explain. Miyazaki. Miyazaki as if she didn't know anything about it. Yeah, yeah. Now is- Man's plane. Miyazaki. Miyazaki's plane.
And he has her-
He's a man too, he's a devil man's plane.
He has her kind of pitched as somebody who loves foreign films,
maybe cerebral films.
So what-
Or cerebral films, if the X-Men are in them?
Yep, that's true, yep.
So what movie
should she have said is her most watched movie to kind of fit that bill a little better and also
Be a movie that he hasn't seen
believably
Or oh, so we're rewriting what her favorite movie is. Yeah, we're rewriting cat person
Let me be like an Agnes Varda movie. That would be, that would work.
If she was like, I really love,
I probably have seen one Sing's The Other Doesn't more times than the other and he'd be like, I don't know what that is.
Oh, she's like, well, you know, it's a it's a foreign movie. Oh, you like subtitled stuff. Oh forget about it.
I just like stuff with Han Solo shooting people and kissing babes.
She really loves.
Let me show you my script.
She really loves certified copy.
That's a...
What was that movie like, fucking Olna?
Do you guys remember?
I don't remember that one.
Fucking Amal?
Is that what it was called?
It's like a Swedish movie, I think.
Yeah, I think that that's the one that you're thinking of.
It's also, it's got another American title
that is less exciting, but.
Yeah, that one.
Or My Life as a Dog.
My Life as a Dog.
Mm-hmm, yeah, I can see that.
I, or.
I could see her really liking Amelie,
which is, again, was a big release,
but I could see that, that was.
Show Me Love was the American title.
What was the Swedish title?
I mean, I don't know how to pronounce it.
Do it, Dan, try it.
Try it, Beth, try it.
No, it's A-M-A-L with little, like, you know.
Fucking Amma, right?
I probably, if you saw it.
A-M-A-A-A-M-A?
Yeah, something like that.
Or you know what, or like worst person in the world?
Yes, that's, oh, I love Jakob Tricher.
Yeah, I can see that being one that she relates to, you know?
I actually, I watched Reprise on my flight back and cried a bunch.
What a good movie.
That guy, that guy, like, if, I don't know what that director has with torturing Anders Denielsen live,
but like every fucking movie this dude's in, you're like, uh-oh, I feel bad for him.
Something bad's happened to this guy.
I was going to say maybe something like In the Mood for Love.
Oh, yeah. Another movie I watched on my flight, which is.
Or Chungking Express. I could see that. Yeah.
Necrophilia.
Or Stu, you mentioned Chopping Mall earlier.
Yeah, maybe she gets a shopping mall.
I mean, it was snubbed for best score when it came out. She of course prefers the original title though kill bots
Movies I'm really big on like giallo like have you seen the bird with the crystal plumage and he'd be like what?
What that kind of stuff? Yeah
Okay, now you like jello no I do but I meant the movies the Italian movies giallo movies Understand Italian movies so like you know Jello? No, I do. But I meant the movies, the Italian movies, Jello movies.
Understand Italian movies. So like Il Postino?
No, not that one.
OK, so that's the first one that springs to his mind is Il Postino.
What Italian movies come to his mind other than that?
You mean like Life is Beautiful? Like that? No, not that one.
Uh huh. Yep, no, keep going.
OK, so as I mentioned... You mean like Big Night? No, it's not that one. Uh-huh, yep, no, keep going. Okay, so as I mentioned, I was-
You mean like Big Night?
Nope, it's not Italian movie.
They are Italian Americans in the film.
Mafia Mama?
You mean like Mafia Mama?
Super Mario Brothers.
Actually, I thought he would say Italian movies
like Super Mario, yeah.
So as I mentioned, I was not on the episode Catverse.
But you've somehow managed to be on it.
I've somehow managed to, and in fact, I will continue this,
because now I will do my final judgment.
Oh, cool.
Wow.
I'm going to say...
So George Lucas take this and insert it into the episode,
I guess, for the release?
Right, right, with a fucking speeder flying behind me
and a couple of robots smoking death sticks.
Yeah, I kind of love this. I'm curious
A robot that flies over and goes uh-oh and then flies away
So watching this movie I on a plane was a somewhat uncomfortable experience
Which I think is kind of what they're trying to go for I was kind of glad that we weren't doing it
Just the three of us dudes together talking about it
and I didn't listening to just the three of us dudes together talking about it.
Listening to the episode, I feel like I liked it more
and I got a little more depth from the three of you.
I will say that it feels like one of the primary themes of the movie, at least in the first two thirds,
which is what the majority of the movie, at least in the first, you know, two thirds, which is what?
The majority of the short story is this,
like the fear of a woman in a dating situation
when, you know, the communication is blurry
and there's just like a general kind of threat element.
And then it feels weird that the movie then
in the final act makes her concerns the...
Like her concerns and fears are what lead her to getting trapped in a house on fire.
Like it feels like it undercuts the message of like,
women trust your intuition because in this case they're like,
women your intuition might get you almost killed.
I think if it was a better movie, it would be more ambiguous about what it's trying to do,
and it would be getting at, she has a reason to be afraid,
but he also has a reason to be upset,
and it drives them both to extremes
that otherwise they wouldn't go to.
But I feel like the movie,
using that Markadot would quote at the beginning,
it so stacks the movie, it so telegraphs
how you're supposed to feel about it
in a way that I think hurts it.
And there's a lot of like symbolism throughout, like sprinkled throughout very
liberally. Yes.
Talking about those themes.
But I mean, I guess my final judgment is going to fit with the three of you, which
is like it doesn't quite fit our categories.
I would say like somewhere between bad, bad and a movie I kind of liked.
But with that in mind, you mentioned that it doesn't fit the categories.
What would be better categories for the Floppers podcast?
Oh, wow.
Well, I mean, look, the categories, let's be honest,
are a simple way to communicate with our audience.
Like, Siskel and Ebert, both, you know,
neither one of them liked the idea of reducing.
They didn't even have thumbs.
Yeah, exactly, they didn't even have the, like.
They didn't like penises,
but they kind of arranged their hand around it
so it looked like it was a thumb.
Oh, okay.
They didn't like reducing everything
to a thumbs up or a thumbs down,
but they knew that for branding,
for the good of the show, it was an important
thing to do.
We're not even going that far because we will abandon our categories at the first sign of
danger, but I don't know.
I don't know that there are categories out there in the world that will encompass all
art that we will encounter.
I'm going to propose.
What about good, bad, or okay?
I mean, that would encompass all of it. I encounter. I'm gonna propose good bad or okay
I mean that would encompass all of it. I think I'm gonna propose categories that are
specific for this kind of movie, which is
Successful at what it's trying to do
Unsuccessful what it's trying to do or what it's trying to do is bad
so like some movies are successful at what they're trying to do and what they're trying to do is bad like that um
sound of guy who saves. Sound of freedom?
Sound of freedom, was that it?
Where they were like, this guy is a hero.
We're gonna ignore that he might also be a child trafficker
and stuff like that.
That's apparently successful is trying to do,
but it's trying to do is bad.
There's a movie like Cat Person,
which I think is unsuccessful at what it's trying to do,
even though I think what it's trying to do is quality.
And then there's movies that they're successful at what they're trying to do, and it's a quality
thing or a not quality thing, but it's still fun.
You know, like Jurassic Park is successful at what it's trying to do.
And Pulp Fiction are successful at what it's trying to do.
Those are two different kinds of movies. And On Golden Pond is successful at what it's trying to do. It's right, and there's two different kinds of movies
and On Golden Pond is successful what it's trying to do
and that's a different kind of movie.
So I think those are categories I don't think
we should necessarily use, but I'm gonna pitch them
as substitutes for when we're dealing with a movie
that doesn't fall into good, bad or good, bad categories.
Yeah, I would agree that those are good ways
to evaluate movies in general
But you know for for our podcast which
You know has slowly drifted closer to actual film critique over the years, but in a lot of ways is
searching that for that high of
The dumb bad movie that is fun to watch like we need to have that category in there that indicates like this is not successful
at what it's trying to do necessarily,
but it is a delight to experience.
Well, it's like I was re-listening to the,
or listening for the first time, I didn't hear it before,
to the vanilla ice episode that we released,
the coolest ice episode from our live shows.
And I'm like, the whole time I'm like, yeah,
this movie is not successful at what it's trying to do,
but is successful at doing a very different thing
that I enjoyed greatly.
So, and that thing is being ridiculous.
So, I guess you know what it means, you know what it is?
We should take a page from Siskel and Levert
and just argue with each other more.
I think that's what people are really here for, right?
Yeah, that's what they love.
We should, instead of being friends behind the scenes, we should not should instead of being friends behind the scenes
We should not like each other that much behind the scenes
But instead have a show where we argue with each other for years. Is that what we should do?
That would that would make me very upset that make me a lot of friends. I'm looking to downsize right now
Arguing that we already do already
Just more than my heart can take.
Okay, then let's argue less and let's agree more.
So Dan, tell me how great my categories are again.
Terrific, amazing.
Thanks.
Four stars.
Thumbs up or thumbs down?
Thumbs up.
Oh, wow.
To put a final bow on Cat Person,
we have a little mini segment here called
What Stuart Would Have Said.
Okay.
What Stuart Would Have Said, had. Some things Stuart would have said
had he been on the podcast.
Okay, so there's a bit where you're talking about
Into the Woods.
Truly the victors get to rewrite history, yeah.
You're talking about Into the Woods
and you say, Slots live in the woods.
I would have said, hey you guys,
but in Slots voice.
Yeah.
There's a moment where Elliot mentions that.
Why don't you say it in his voice right now then?
I don't know, I feel like I'd rather people just imagine it.
I think in the moment it's easier for Stuart to make that mistake than pre-planned.
So there's a moment where Elliot mentions seeing Hope Davis on the subway many times.
And I feel like that's pretty thematically appropriate in a movie where a man kept stalking a woman
and trying to set up a meet-cute with her her I thought that was really cool of Elliot to say I would ask more about these gump toilets. What's going on there?
What's it like gump toilets? It's a brand of porta potty. Okay in it's a LA brand of porta potty
I think it's national but maybe it's just regional you see them all over the place at construction sites here
Do they ever do they ever put them outside of a Bubba-Gump shrimp company?
So people can see the full digestion cycle.
They're like, oh, so Auntie and Bubba must be brothers.
Oh, interesting. No.
It looks like a poop in here.
It's just a conjunction of gumps or gump junction.
It happens once every thousand years.
I would also mention that I also loved the sequence
where she is in the bathroom
and the wallpaper has all those paintings of women's faces and she kisses them.
And actually looks like, it looks like other women have kissed that same wallpaper in different places.
I thought that was really cool.
Speaking of kisses, Elliot mentioned that he was very good at kissing and his wife might have joked
that maybe that's why he was a member of the band Kiss or something. I don't remember the
exact situation. I was like, is that how the band Kiss got their name? Do you guys think
they got their name because they were good at kissing?
They certainly thought they were good at kissing. They said they were made for loving you.
Uh huh.
But the corollary to that is that you were made for loving them. So perhaps they're only good at kissing each other and not outside people who are not created for loving each other
I'm guessing that there's one for the rabbi's to answer. I suppose
I'm guessing there's too much tongue just based on square footage of
Yes, and weirdly enough not enough face paint
And then finally there was a moment where Elliot says,
the heart is the largest serogenous zone,
and I would say, of course, what about my weenus?
So, that wraps up Cat Person.
I'm glad you didn't let that opportunity pass by.
Without taking advantage of it.
Now, before we wrap things up here at the Peach Pit,
we have Hallie Hagelin, star of the show on here.
I think it's important that we do a little special
Hallie segment and we look at all the movies that Hallie,
all the episodes Hallie has been in.
What I would like you to tell,
I'm gonna go down the list, Hallie,
and I want you to tell me which one is the best movie,
which is the worst movie,
according to your
recollection, because some of these I have no memory of.
And then which one you think might be the best episode?
If somebody was like, I want to hear more Hallie Hagelin.
And tell me which one you have no memory of,
because I'm betting very important.
I think that's probably most of them.
Okay, so I'm going to start at the beginning.
Zookeeper, Rock of Ages, Upside Down, Battle of the Year,
Temptation, Confessions of a Marriage Counselor,
The Quiet Ones, That Awkward Moment, Left Behind,
Ouija.
The Choice.
The Lazarus Effect.
Fifty Shades Darker.
The Dark Tower.
The Wicker Man.
Last Christmas?
Me, you, madness.
The Turning.
Orphan.
First Kill.
Your place or mine?
Mafia Mama.
And now, Cat Person.
Okay, so I would say the worst movies were Upside Down and The Lazarus Effect.
Okay. I would say the best movies were that awkward moment,
Last Christmas, and maybe just, I don't know.
Yeah, those two.
But I think, you know, I really don't remember that well,
but I would say in my head,
that I just feel in my soul that that Zookeeper episode
was a good Halle episode.
Okay.
That or Weegee, I would say.
Well, yeah, if you didn't call it out,
I wanted to say Audrey's a big fan of Halle episodes
and Weegee is one that she cites as a good episode.
I was really pulling for Mafia Mama
to be listed in one of the best movies.
Oh, no, I did.
No, no, I was gonna say that one.
Yes, I would say that.
I was gonna say Mafia Mama.
I was gonna prod you with that at the end,
but I was like, I don't wanna mansplain to Hallie
about what movies she likes.
I actually did forget that, yes.
Mafia Mama would be among my favorite movies, yeah.
There's definitely a couple of- And then all the rest I don't remember.
Yeah.
There's a couple of stinkers in here.
There's a couple of stinkers.
Although Miu Madness is an artifact worth experience.
That's the one that-
Yeah, I remember that one.
That's the-
The wife of the Secretary of the Treasury.
Exactly.
But you know what one I didn't remember,
but that I feel like I was like,
oh, that sounds like something I'd like,
was the, what was the like?
The forgotten- Temptation Confessions
of a Marriage Counselor?
Exactly, yes.
What was that?
I don't, I wasn't on that episode.
That was one of the Tyler Perry movies, I think.
Oh yeah, Kim Kardashian was in that.
What's the one with- She was like the secretary.
What's the one with Beyoncé and Idris Elba?
No wait, I was on this episode.
Obsessed.
Yeah, I don't think I was in Temptations of a Marriage Counselor's Confessions.
What's it called?
Temptation colon Confessions of a Marriage Counselor.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I remember that one.
I don't think I was on that one.
Because yeah, that's the first time I saw Kim Kardashian in a movie.
Ellie, you've been on a lot of episodes and you've enriched all of them.
Oh, thank you.
You've truly earned your starring role.
It's been an honor, guys.
And then to be on the Peach Pit, come on.
And to be on the Peach Pit.
Oh man, I'm so happy to have you.
And obviously also thank you so much to my other guest,
Dan McCoy and Elliot Kalin.
It's always great to be on the Peach Pit.
I love every time.
It's rare that you get to be on a fan podcast
that is hosted by one of the people involved in the original show,
unless it's the office, I guess,
in which case they do that, or scrubs.
Or now they have one for...
The do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Kirby and the Housetop? Yeah.
Oh, really? Yeah.
Who are the hosts of that podcast?
Suzy Esman and Jeff Garland are doing it.
Okay, okay, that sounds fun.
I mean, obviously, you know, I'm not only a fan of the show,
I'm one of the owners.
Of creepy enthusiasm?
No, of the Flophouse.
Oh, the pop Flophouse, yeah, right, and the beach pit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
Now, since you guys were so nice to come on my show,
do you have any plugs?
Do you have anything you'd like to plug?
Well, I'd like to plug the Max Fun Drive.
Okay, insert that here
Yeah, before we go just one more word about the max fun drive if you've never been a max fun member
Try it out at just five dollars a month enjoy the bonus content
If you're already a member and you'd like to support even just a little more
We would certainly appreciate you upgrading your membership or boosting it by a few dollars per month or so
appreciate you upgrading your membership or boosting it by a few dollars per month or so.
I'm just going to remind some of the thank you gifts that you can only get for the two weeks of Max Fund Drive. There's our cool enamel collectible pen for the Flophouse in which Werner Herzog is
saying his famous catchphrase, I'm a bad little boy, according to us. Heard on the set of Fitzcarraldo many times.
We'll put it up on our social media accounts
so you can see it or you can go to MaximumFun.org
to join or upgrade your membership.
You can get a picture of it there as well.
Other levels have great gifts like there's a chess set
or because it's a pledge drive,
you know there's a tote bag in there.
That's my pitch, but I wanna close with this.
I know that not everyone who enjoys the show
can afford to give five bucks a month.
We totally get that.
If you're one of those people, we appreciate you listening.
And if you have the energy, we'd love it if you could help
in other ways like spreading the word
about our show to new listeners.
But if you love the show and you can give five bucks a month, in other ways like spreading the word about our show to new listeners but if
you love this show and you can give five bucks a month becoming a member will not
only help us here at the Flophouse it'll help those folks who enjoy the show but
can't support it right now so if you join or upgrade you're also helping a
fellow listener a lot of things in the world are shitty right now so why not put
your money towards something that hopefully brings joy to yourself and others
Without all the usual lousy crap that goes along with I don't know the stuff you can get
Positively classic salesmanship from damn Nikoi. Mm-hmm shows like us can
Can exist still under this model even if major advertisers don't see a profit in us,
but only because people like you support it.
We can continue to make the show the way we wanna make it
for you to enjoy and in return,
we hope that you will support the art and entertainment
that you enjoy because if you don't, who will?
So one last time, if you can,
please go to maximumfun.org
Slash join to support this and other shows that you love
And i'll sign off by saying thank you
We really appreciate the kind giving and supportive audience. That's you guys
That allow us to do this show
uh hallie
I'd like to Uh,, check out my Substack.
Yeah, sure.
You said it like it's a joke, but that's a really good newsletter.
Yeah, yeah.
Check out my newsletter.
That hurts my feelings.
Yeah.
That's great.
Get live on Substack.
I read it immediately upon publication
I know I would also like to give a special shout out to the all the flat pass fans who came out for the
Like impromptu meetup I did out in Melbourne
It was a ton of fun and it was really nice to get to catch up with some folks
While I was there and also thanks again to everybody who DM'd me
recommendations of restaurants and bars to hit
in the various towns I went to.
I ate and drank like a maniac.
So many oat flat whites, so many mezcal Negronis.
It's coming out my pores.
And I'd like to take a moment to say no thank you
to all the Flophouse fans in Millburn, my hometown where I was recently, and no one came out to see me.
Maybe because I didn't tell anyone I was gonna be there.
Yeah, yeah.
Elliott doesn't have the same unceasing desire for adulation of fans.
So this peach bit is of course a Flophouse podcast property.
The Flophouse is part of the MaxFun Podcast Network.
Thank you so much for listening.
There's a ton of other great podcasts.
It's part of the MaxFun Drive right now.
So you should definitely check out these shows
and support us.
Our show is produced by Alex Smith.
He makes this sound great every week.
Check it out.
He loves the peach bit.
And yeah, so I've been Stuart Wellington.
Thanks so much for listening.
Bye.
Ha ha.
["Principle of the Sun"]
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