The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #105 - A Thousand Words
Episode Date: June 30, 20120:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and theme.0:38 - 3:57 - Some talk of Dan's stubble and much talk of his national TV debut3:58 - 32:45 - A discussion of A Thousand Words, the movie that we assume resulted f...rom Eddie Murphy not wanting to learn a lot of lines.32:46 - 35:53 - Final judgments35:54 - 51:50 - Flop House Movie Mailbag51:51 - 1:01:52 - The most interrupt-y sad bastards recommend ever!. 1:01:53 - 1:04:25 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
In this episode we discuss a movie about a man who only has a limited number of words to speak.
In other words, Eliot's worst nightmare.
We talk about a thousand words. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy.
I'm Stuart Wellington.
And Elliot Kaelin as himself.
So it's grown a beard, huh?
It's just the weekend I didn't shave. I'm glad that we're bringing this up since the listeners
have certainly noticed Dan's growth of beard. I mean he's gonna put a picture of it on the website.
Well did you ever put on the on the blog spot website Dan the video of you as Santa Claus in a
wrestling suit? On the on the our main flatlockhouse website, I did not put a video.
You need to do that.
I feel like I needed to self promote that much.
I think you should.
Someone put it on my Facebook.
I'm giving you permission.
Okay.
Someone I think you or your wife did probably.
Well, no, I put it on my own Facebook.
Okay.
But someone put it on the Flockhouse page.
For those of you, for those Flockhouse fans who don't follow the Facebook page and really should. There's a lot of good debates
and conversations about how small I am and how handsome Stuart is and how I am a
default human being. Yeah, you're just the basic standard human being. No
flake mannequin. You're what you get. When you go to the human store and you're
like, ah, I don't want any of the fancy frills. Just give me your basic model.
Katie, would that Russ proof? No.
All right, now I'll have to talk to my manager about that.
So Dan recently, for those of you who don't know, stopped being a television
appearance virgin by appearing on the daily show in the role of high-pitched singing,
dancing, Santa, and a wrestling leotard in a candy-colored wonderland. It made no sense.
Oh, but someone else turned down.
We won't get into too much of behind the scenes.
Dan, how did it feel to make your parents proud by playing the role of wrestling leotard
high-pitched singing Santa Claus?
Well, they were out of town.
They were out of the country in England at the time.
So I think that was the perfect time for this.
Luckily, they don't ever check the internet in England yeah that's true yeah
they don't have it alert then on the internet there yet they still send
messages via raven they call armail like oh you are or no no are like in the
letter for raven okay that makes more sense yeah so although they do have they
did have a an ad campaign called our Armele which was very confusing. Yeah. Hello Gov. Owl you'll get a letter from
here. Owl, Awl male. Clive Owens man about as male. It was all it was a hello.
This is Daniel Craig. That's pretty good. That's almost as good as mine but
don't worry about it. So yeah, another
On only another 50 appearances and I'll be caught up with Hollywood, Kaylen. Yeah. Well when they start mentioning you my name I'm not just hiding you behind a beard. Yeah, zing
Oh, the nice work. We're all very proud of you. Thanks. Stewart now to your turn to be on TV
So you're gonna have to go outside the today's show while it's filming and hold up a sign with your name on it or run in and kiss Al Roker and run away.
I mean, you could like a kissing band at Type Care,
or do it.
Exactly.
Or you could like maybe you could dress like a leprechaun
in a speedo and a sing Danny Boy.
Okay, you're saying that like,
like I already did this.
Do I not remember this?
You'll see the video.
Okay. But this isn't a Cameo Appearances podcast. Do you want to remember this? You'll see the video.
Okay.
But this isn't a Camille Parentheses podcast.
No, that's the Camcast, our other podcast.
Not to confuse with the other Camcast,
which are Camgajandit.
Or Camgajandit, yeah.
But this is our CamClark podcast.
Anyway, keep going, you're saying.
This is a podcast about bad movies where we watch one
and then chat about it afterwards.
The plot house we call it.
Just for fun, just for fun, ZZ.
Yeah, just chillin'.
Yeah, just for chill, ZZ.
Just couple of guys, three brothers.
Just funnin' around, being pals and palin' it up.
But tonight we watched a film call.
Yeah, I mean, it's the afternoon, like,
don't pull the curtain back too far
I ain't no attention to the daylight by the hurt
This is this movie was called a thousand words a thousand words. You may remember it
Who did that star mr. Edward Murphy? Yeah, Edward Murphy this movie is Eddie. Yeah
Mr. Edward Murphy. Yeah, Edward Murphy.
This movie is...
That one is Eddie.
Yeah.
Well, he's just like a superstar.
Not gonna knockin' out home runs every day.
Oh, yeah.
He's had a lot of hits lately.
I think a good indicate.
I can aim all of them.
Tower eyes.
Tower eyes.
Did okay.
Dave.
Dreamgirls.
Yeah.
Wait.
Dave was a big failure.
Meet Dave.
What was called?
My name is Dave.
My name is Sam.
Dave is the one with Kevin name is Dave. I am Sam.
Dave is the one with Kevin Klein.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think a good indication of what kind of movie this was is that this sat on the shelf
for several years while Norbert got released.
Right away.
Yeah.
Well, Norbert, the story I heard was that Norbert was a contractual obligation that he said,
if I'm going to do Dreamgirls, the the movie that is gonna get me nominated for an Oscar
You have to produce Norbit so that I can be true that that that was what I'd heard that Norbit was the movie
He really wanted to do and he begrudgingly appeared in dream girls to get it done
But anyway, this is a thousand words isn't the Norbit cast. That's a different podcast. We do the Norbhouse
This is about the moon or orbits gum. This is about or the orbitsbhouse. Or the Orbit Cast, which is about the moon. Or it orbits gum. This is about Orbit's travel agency online.
This is about a thousand words.
There are a lot of orbits.
Yeah, yeah, thanks to it.
Put it to that for a while, Stu.
But this is a movie that sat on the shelf
for four years until it was released.
And I didn't realize it made back.
It in gross receipts, it made about half of its original budget. So that was four years ago money.
Yeah so think about how much less it was it made even considering that was modern money.
Yeah. So Dan should I go through the story of a thousand words? Yeah I think our audience probably
knows it. It's a classic folksale. It'll take you almost no time. It's like liar liar but with a tree that sheds leaves. That's basically it. Now any
Murphy is a high powered literary agent which is a joke because the publishing
industry is dying and he talks all the time. He's Eddie Murphy talks a lot. He
doesn't pay attention to his family. Like that micro machines guy.
Like an Eddie Murphy type guy. Why didn't they just get that micro machine?
No, every time you talk fast the tree loses leaves. You'll have to talk slow micro machines guy
Returns to drinking now any murphy plays slow himself down. Yeah
He plays a high-powered liter agent talks too much talks too fast doesn't express love for his family enough
much talks too fast doesn't express love for his family enough. And he tries to land the big book contract of a new age healer named was it Sanjay? Something
like that. Sanjay. And if the love grew taught us nothing else, it's that
movies. Comedy's about new age healers are always hilarious. If Eddie Murphy is
soul man, taught us anything. Or whatever is called holy man. It's called holy
man. Jeff Goldblum's holy man.
But anyway.
What was the one with Heather Graham?
That might have been the same movie.
Was it?
Well Heather Graham was in both finger with any word.
No, no, I think where about where was like a new way to get to this?
Yeah, boogie nice.
That's what they go.
You're thinking of killing me softly.
Oh, you know what I'm thinking of scrubs, the sitcom.
Anyway, so he talks to this holy sage and lands a book deal by saying, I believe it
lying to you basically, I believe in you and I want to make this happen.
And he touches a tree and gets a splinter in his finger.
That splinter is enough to create a mystical bond.
Makes him to treat blood brothers.
Later on, that tree appears in his very backyard,
and every time he says a word, a leaf falls off it.
And the sage tells him, when there are no more leaves on the tree,
you're gonna die.
So you only have a thousand words left in your life.
Now, his marriage is falling apart.
I mean, that makes, that's good, botany.
Oh, yeah, that's, he's not a botanist. When a tree leaves, it that's, that's good botany. Oh yeah, that's, it's not a botany,
it's not only saying.
When a tree leaves, it's leaves, it's dead, completely.
Oh yeah, that's, yeah, everyone's seen trees with no leaves,
they never, they die right away, they never come back.
There's a, like, there's, there's a leaf holocaust every fall.
And then like, it's just trees, I mean, like new trees spring up though.
Yeah.
I know, I don't see why you had to bring the holocaust in.
Yeah, I'm all uncomfortable. Yeah, Let me just get back to the movie then.
Tree genocide. Basically, Eddie Murphy causes no end of trouble by not talking in
situations where he needs words. He loses a big book deal. He screws up his
marriage. His wife sets up a sex errand sex midday holiday. Like they're
gonna they're meeting a hotel room and she says talk to me
Tell me dirty talk to me and I'll do what everyone me to do
You have to talk to me and he can't say anything. Yeah, we've all been there right guys. Yeah, tell me about it
It's like a smorgasbord of sex in front of us, but we can't eat it
Cicifus
It's not what scissors that's tantalists you can use cicifus and tantalists
So listen your classical education is a sham.
I
Want you to return that degree you got from the University of online mythology
Boobs you yeah, boob you is that the browser's school?
Yeah, I post graduate program. I majored in knuckers at boob you
With a minor in classics
Anyway, he screws everything up and he's always his mother played by Ruby D
Is an elemental not a mental home is in senior citizens home and keeps confusing him with his father who abandoned him as a child and it turns out
By focusing so much in his career
abandoned him as a child. And it turns out by focusing so much in his career,
he's repeating the errors of the past.
It's just like Ipsin's ghosts.
Or cats in the crate.
Yeah, or any stupid thing.
And he realizes he needs to show that he loves his family
and does so.
And he realizes it by a couple of flashbacks
where he sees a child version of himself and the
kid keeps talking to him like he's his dad.
Yeah, this happens at least twice.
It takes Eddie Murphy forever to learn the most basic message, which is that you should
spend time with your family.
I mean, that's the part that actually does feel like a play.
It feels like this weird, like, this old, like, early, like, century play, like, gets
like shoved into this goofy Eddie Murphy comedy. It's like where he's talking to himself as a child but the
child fix is his father. Yeah. It's like no, it's me. Do that thing we do. And then yeah.
But you're my dad that's not here. And in the end, I guess there's a lot I mean
there's a lot of different individual wacky scenes. He's got to he can't talk and
then he gets oh and anything that happens to the tree. A blind guy almost gets run
over by a car. He can't tell a blind guy when it's time to cross streets
the blind guy almost gets run over by a car. He over orders coffee.
Yeah, $16.00 worth of coffee.
He can't describe the coffee he wants to coffee seller Jack Mcbrayer.
It's a barista. I believe.
Barista.
What?
He's a man. He's a barista.
I've got a yet and reach.
We actually never see him serve the coffee. So he's just a cashier.
Actually, I think a barista. Oh, would be a few were the barista and a barista. Oh, I've got a yet and reached a little barista. We actually never see him serve the coffee. So he's just a cashier. Actually, I think a barista, oh, would
be if you were the barista and a barista is when you refer to someone else. That's a barista.
Okay. And barista most would be if we were all baristas. Where did the baristas come into
this? They get slaughtered later in the movie. It's horrible. Mother to Rista. And the word,
the famous, it's a word that sounds like another word, all right. Hey, it's a word the famous it's a word sounds like another word all right
Hey, it's a good thing. Elliot doesn't have one of those magic trees. I'm right
I'd be D. A. D. dead
and there also whatever happens to the tree happens to him
It might they have a mental bond much like ET and Elliot in the film Elliot
Hold on if the tree gets in your film, Elliot. I think so.
Hold on.
If the tree gets hit,
your name is Elliot,
may have given you a skewed version of ET,
the extra for Estora.
It's magical.
The kid flies around in the space.
It's called Elliot, the kid who had an alien for a friend.
It's called Elliot and Pals.
Elliot's fun house.
It's told from the perspective of this extra terrestrial
who has this really cool,
friend named Elliot. Yeah, he's the coolest guy who has a magic flying bike
that the alien gets to ride in.
They never explain how he got a magic flying bike,
but it's probably because he's so awesome.
Fair enough.
So anytime, anytime something happens,
anytime something happens to the tree,
it also happens to any Murphy.
So the tree gets hurt, he gets hurt,
the tree gets gassed with pesticide,
he gets loopy like he's high.
The tree it's tickled by squirrels. It's tickled by squirrels and he makes those
Movements that people do in movies when there's a squirrel in your pants when really you'd be like, oh, God it hurts
It's closer to getting into my leg instead of trying to bury my testicles
For winner
Thanks for clarifying
That was just very
desiculous for, I don't know any, any old occasion. Yeah. And that scene is hilarious.
Which scene? I named three scenes. The scene where he is pretending like he's getting
tickled by squirrels and he does it in front of a couple of French guys. I'm sure the decision
was made because French people are naturally hilarious. And then he just kind of dances off screen followed quickly by Clark Duke, who then dances
after it. Now Clark Duke plays his assistant. Yeah. And Allison Janney plays.
Clark Duke's type, round faced. Round faced nerd type. Yeah. Who who hilariously gets
to spout black slang. I mean and at a lunch in meeting with publishers
from Simon and Schuster,
who they're hoping to sell this book to.
Well, that wasn't his fault,
because Eddie Murphy did tell him to do what he would do.
That's true.
And so you see he put on a stereotypical black voice.
Yeah, a black voice.
Yeah, I mean, he's seen through the white eye,
the perception of this dopey nerd.
Michael Clark Duncan.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
It would be very different if Michael Clark Duncan
had played that part.
Yeah.
Yeah, so, uh, so I went at the end,
any Murphy, he uses his words sparingly to,
then through actions express his love for his family,
the baristo and his mother.
And then, uh, There's that scene where he throws
baguettes at homeless people. Yeah, he thinks that good deeds are going to save him. So he
starts throwing baguettes at homeless people and donating money to a church. That doesn't
work. And he goes to his father's grave. He has three leaves left. And he says, I forgive
you to his father's grave and dies. And then it rains. And he comes back to life. And
everyone's happy. Do we know he dies? I thought he just like fell down. He fell down and went,
that was the old ham dying. Yeah, exactly. He's reborn now. He's a reborn Christian
born again. I didn't know that. I have to assume. Yeah. The church is a very important part
of the African American community. But he spent so much time hugging that new age.
Oh, he's kind of new. And at the end, he is no longer a literary agent because he lost very important part of the African American community. But he spends so much time hugging that new age.
Oh, he's kind of new edge.
And at the end, he is no longer a literary agent
because he lost his job.
He's written a book about his experience.
And it's the story we just heard.
A thousand words.
Yeah.
And he buys the house that his wife wanted to buy.
So it's like, I know who killed me, right?
No.
Where the end of that character is just written the story.
That was the alternate ending. Oh, okay.
And also, they're not saying that the movie didn't exist and there's all his book.
So he wrote a book about his experiences.
No, it's not usual suspects.
I would like to see like a list of all the movies that use that device where at the end
like, oh, look, the hero is written a book about the thing we just saw.
Well, there's a thousand words.
There's what?
Dreamhouse.
Dreamhouse, death trap.
So listeners, you can give Dan that thing so we don't have to list them all. Okay. we just saw well there's thousand words there's what dream house dream house death trap so listeners you
can give Dan that thing so we don't have to list them all okay if a listener wants to go through
and come up with a list of movies where they do that then you will win what Dan my undying admiration
okay or if Dan actually does it on his own instead of just mentioning it because I mean it wouldn't
take it well it takes some research yeah Yeah. After I die, I'll talk about the future.
I'll be quick. My
kind of.
Back to the future.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
That's true.
You're bequeathing your admiration to Stuart.
Does that mean Stuart then admires the person or that you admire Stuart?
No, no.
I'm just going to say based on the way you guys live, Stuart may die before you.
Yeah.
He's both healthier and drinkier.
That's true. That's true.
And he lives on the edge.
He works such erratic hours.
He also lives like there's no tomorrow.
Whereas you live like there's always too many tomorrow.
Oh man, I am thinking 12 steps ahead
in my worrying about things.
Yeah, whereas Stuart's like,
I walk the places it.
Look, I'm naked on top of a boat, I don't care.
It's a lightning storm.
I think on top of a boat. Yeah, like in the crow's nest.
Okay. I also have courage in my convictions. Unlike, wait, what?
I don't know.
I'm using Dan of moral cowardice. It's got weird.
Let me just say one thing about a thousand words and then a couple more things and then
some more things after that. Sure. Okay.
I, there was a point in the middle of this movie where I was like, you know what?
I want to like this movie because I was under the impression it was a point in the middle of this movie where I was like, you know what, I want to like this movie
because I was under the impression it was a kids film,
but it's not.
There's a lot of swearing, there's a lot of sex jokes
or a fair number of sex jokes.
For kids movie, it's not a kids movie.
And you know, I mean, we defend kids movies around here, right?
Yeah, sometimes, but also, there's a certain type of movie
that Hollywood used to make that are like adult fantasies
and I don't mean like, you know,
a like look, you know, or like a...
They still make those movies.
Not like Reggie, but like the internet, on the display.
I mean like, they don't have as much story though.
No, but a movie like Angel on My Shoulder
or Death Takes a Holiday,
where there's some kind of supernatural fantasy element,
but it's not for kids, it's for adults.
And it feels like Groundhog Day was the last really great version of that.
And this, it looks like even more, they were trying to remake, they're trying to make a movie like
Liar Liar, but also make a movie like Groundhog Day. There was four adults that had that kind of like
old-fashioned morality or fantasy aspect, and they totally failed on every level. But there's part of
me that wants to say to Hollywood, like, keep trying.. Like I like those types of movies. I didn't like this because it was very bad,
but I do like movies where it's like match,
you know, almost magical realism for film.
You know, like weird signs.
This movie's like,
thank you for taking that,
I was trying to make a good serious point.
The movie's also like weirdly serious, like it,
it's, you know, it's got the stupid scenes
where someone's watering the tree and all
of a sudden sweat's dripping from any Murphy's face. But then it has all the scenes where he visits
his mom, played by Ruby D, who is acting the hell out of this. Who's a very great actress, you know,
like this elderly, you know, Alzheimer's, afflicted lady. And there are these scenes with like her and
Eddie Murphy that like in a better movie would actually be affecting.
And the thing goodbye to his mom.
And the message of the movie is,
this man was abandoned by his father as a kid.
Now he doesn't understand what it's like
to be a father and he has to learn that.
He's a break the cycle.
Exactly, which is like a powerful theme
for a good movie that's not stupid
and doesn't have a bunch of stupid crap in it.
It doesn't feel like it totally meshes with the idea that this guy has a magic tree in his backyard
Is dying because he talks to me. Yeah, also he talked about like he yeah
His problem is not that he's talking too much. Yeah, his problem is that he is not
Come he's not I guess not communicating effectively. So I guess the lesson is he has to choose his words wisely,
but the things he's doing during the movie don't impact that.
But also that doesn't necessarily connect up with the fact that he was a man
and as a child.
That's true, yeah.
You know, and then has all this anger towards his father.
And what happens at the end is he lets go of that anger
and then the tree re-blooms.
And okay, I don't think that has anything to do with a talking a lot.
With words, yeah yeah or trees and after after the resolution I mean he's hugging people
and people seem happier but he doesn't seem that different no he's like he still talks a shitload
and well but that could that place to be there problem with his movies like he didn't seem like
such a bad guy at the beginning of the movie I Well, the fact that he lands this big sale with the sage.
Instead of being like drinks are on me.
He calls his assistants and says,
cancel all my calls, cancel all my appointments.
I want to go visit my mom and tell her about this thing I did.
She's going to be really proud of me.
And like, goes and visits his Alzheimer's-ridden mom
at the nursing home.
Like, that's not a selfish thing to do.
Yeah.
Even if his motive is, because I want to brag to her about this thing
I did like in theory it would give her pleasure to know her son is doing well
I mean it's clear that he like I mean that movie makes it clear that he visited her a lot
You know he's bringing her flowers like it seems like a nice like let's set up what a selfish thoughtless guy
This is by having a visit his mom and a nursing home
And this is relationship doesn't seem that bad
Pre the tree like the tree seems to be causing most of the problems And his relationship doesn't seem that bad. Pre the tree, like the tree seems to be causing
most of the problems in his relationship.
The big problem in the relationship beforehand
is that he doesn't want to move
and his wife wants to buy a new house,
which is the kind of thing all relationships go through.
Like the fact, and then that tree comes in
and it fucks everything up, yeah.
Well, I mean, trees are real dick as well.
It's kind of like the trees defense.
I mean, this is real dick is what I guess it's kind of like the trees defense.
I mean, the objection you're on or this guy is if anything very bad at prioritizing how he's using his words because his life is like just say something to me and he won't. He won't say
anything, but as soon as that anything happens around the tree, he'll start cursing it out and then
he'll complain with the tree that it didn't, I don't
know.
Yeah.
But he could talk to her fine before the tree came up.
Yeah.
It's almost like the old book, it could be worse, whatever it's called, where the guy,
it's a, this is a, the kind of like old Jewish folk tale, or old Eastern European folk
tale that they turn into children's books, Burma Reyes Kidware.
This guy complains that his house is too small, so the into children's books, Burma Reans Kid, where this guy complains
that his house is too small.
So the rabbi tells him, bring all your kids into one room.
Okay, now bring all the animals from your barn into the house.
Now bring your, all your shit into your house.
And it's so crowded and they goes,
now remove everything from your house.
And they take it all out and it's like,
oh, now our house feels really big.
Well, I guess it could always get worse.
It's like what a terrible lesson.
So this seems to be like, your marriage is okay, but not great.
You know what? If you couldn't talk, it would be even worse. So be happy that you've got this marriage.
But also, like, this seems like a classic, like, screenwriting, like, screw up. Like, I feel like
this, this is the sort of thing that probably happened when this movie was made was like,
there's a first draft where he actually was, a deeply flawed person, the beginning was like,
we don't like this character, make him nicer.
And then like, so it turned from a redemption story
into a story about like a nice guy
who had a few tree problems.
He's afflicted with this horrible tree.
Yeah, it kind of is a horror movie.
It's a light-hearted horror movie about an evil tree.
That forces you to learn things about yourself.
And I think the movie spends a little bit too much time focusing on how after he discovers
that if, you know, he's afflicted with this death-causing tree, he spends way too much time
trying to save his fucking job.
Yeah. I don't know about you guys.
My career is not the first thing on my mind if I was slowly dying of leaf-fighters.
It's totally the first thing on my mind if I was slowly dying of leafitis. It's totally the first thing on my mind.
I'd be like, I need to finish this assignment
before I die.
Then if I have time to smooth,
if I have time to fit it in,
I'll tell my wife I love her.
But first, I gotta do this job.
There's a book I wanted to finish.
You know what?
I've never really walked to the ramble in Central Park.
I guess I'll do that.
Yeah, you might as well.
Also, hey, over there, I wanted to see that movie.
I guess I'll go see that too.
I'll get to eventually.
Oh, you know, dark shadows.
So we're going to have to make sure that it was okay.
I might check that out.
You know what, I got a couple hours before I die.
You could start your spoken word career.
You have to, then.
Yeah.
I'll crack.
You'll be released one album, then he died.
Wasn't a very good album either. 999 words long. have to then yeah I'll be released one album that he does.
Wasn't a very good album either.
999 words long.
But the uh yeah his and that could be part of the message that his family is more important than his job but like it's just so the movie is kind of so loose and messy that it does not
it's just not and none of those scenes are very funny like it if the scenes were funny it would be
a different story. So do you think the true the magic tree at the end is still magic and still sheds leaves when he talks
I think it's just a tree at the end. Oh, okay. Well, they didn't talk at that point
The tree just probably sheds his leaves in the fall like at other trees
Yeah, but do you think that every fall he starts freaking out probably yeah?
Forever yeah, so it really was a mistake from to dig up that tree and bring it to his new home
Better than if he left it at the old house and the new owners were like cut that tree down
And they started cutting it and his legs just suddenly split open and blood was pouring out
He's deleted
Post credit
Yeah, post credits
The woodpecker starts knocking on the tree and suddenly a hole in his head open his brains are spilling out
It's called
Tree man
Man tree
Some put the swings swing on that tree. Oh, it's any of this tiny little child swinging from his arm
Amazing the little two literal damn little two literal
No, wait, does the child exist in two places at once?
It's a homunculus version of that child.
No, they brought in until existence, another version of that child.
Oh, man, but where's the matter come from?
Yeah, exactly.
Can they either be created in Ordestroyed?
You're right.
Answer that, Dan.
It's fashion out of clay.
It's magic, trees, and all right.
I mean, it's an ancient ruin animating it.
Hey, look, I'm not the one who's arguing with you.
Einstein's the one who's arguing with you. Okay. Well, I'm gonna dig up
I'm giving a piece of my mind Einstein brothers bagels
I'm sorry brothers bagels says you can now that bagels can be neither created nor destroyed
But you know, let me transform into defeat. They exist in a
virtual cycle speaking of feces
I believe we came up with a better version of this movie
that was called a thousand turns. A thousand you made dancing. I'm not gonna say it.
A thousand turns. I am gonna say it. A movie about a man who discovers that he only has a thousand
poops left. And what's interesting about this is that. This is your math and a thousand
turns. He'll die. What's interesting about this is that a thousand words it turns out is not very many words
But a thousand turds is quite a lot of turds
Oh man, so yeah, so sometimes I think you love pooping more than you love me
So you're hoping that a high-powered from like Mad Magazine or Cracked or something
listening and will buy this idea from us?
I mean, now Cracked is mostly in my educational top 10 lists.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, it's just like my version of thinner pooper, but the guy just has to go to the bathroom
a lot.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Because he hit a gypsy with a porta-potty.
Oh, that's like in a jackass style, still.
Yeah, exactly.
He was driving a porta-potty.
Yeah, you had to go.
It's part of the wacky races or something now.
It's part of the wacky racers, yeah.
I don't like, this is a tough one.
I think people would be a lot less concerned about the gypsy curse and more concerned about
the wacky racing.
Yeah, there's a shark driving a car.
Yeah, I think so.
Why is this a difficult one day?
I just think that there's not much to say about this movie because it is exact.
It is almost exactly what you think it would be other than what you said about it not being
like a family.
Not being a kids movie.
I mean, like they say, like the first time they said shit, I was like, wait, what what I thought this is a family movie, but it's not there's that holds like the
first time you're watching the Transformers cartoon movie and you hear that spike or whatever say shit and I was like what? Oh my god, shoot just got real. I was like, oh my god. This is not for kids anymore. I mean, the thing that's most surprising to me about this movie is like the degree to
which they don't try that hard to be a comedy.
I mean, like, I don't know.
They're trying pretty hard at times.
They give Eddie Murphy a lot of excuses to like mug and do like physical.
Yeah, there's that.
And then like Clark Duke is like 100% just there for counter relief.
But it feel like that's all obviously kind of is raffling onto a drama.
What? You don't see Clark
Duke's character as a reflection of the Eddie Murphy that he
was. Well, I mean, that's his that's his script purpose.
Okay. But that's the thing. This would have been a more
successful movie, probably as a silly drama or a light drama
rather than as a goofy comedy that tries for seriousness at
times. And like, and that's how I feel,
I'll let you know a lot of ways about Groundhog Day,
where it's like there are the jokes in that
are mainly Bill Murray's comments.
But otherwise the movie is not playing it like,
wing boing,
do-do-do-do-do,
boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop,
and I feel like there's a lot of that here
where it's like, let's come up with another big comedy set piece so that Eddie Murphy can
Like move around and wacky happen to the tree exactly it results in Eddie Murphy acting weird instead of humor coming from
The character's reaction to the situation it comes from like these or these four situations this blind man's walking into the street
Now there's cars coming everywhere, you know all over the place. I just had this horrible vision of like the tree being fed
into a wood chipper and then all of a sudden, like,
anymore, if he just like slowly disappearing
into a cloud of red dust.
Yeah.
That would, that would be so embarrassing.
Yeah, that would be red dust.
That would be important, maybe.
To be right, Dan, that would be gross.
This is also one of those movies where,
I look two more things I want to say about this movie.
It looks like things happen in my brain
and I need to talk about them. So it's like when it's like when agent basic communication
that goes with that when Chris Monsanto punches a guy
in Eagleheart and he just explodes in the cloud of blood.
Uh, two things I want to say about this movie if I remember them.
Do you?
I did a second ago and then you started
mentioning woodchippers and uh,
now I like to think about how I need to buy new woodchips. Oh, here I'm one of think about it as how I need to buy a new woodchipper.
Oh, here, this is a movie where...
It's a yard work.
This is a movie where characters don't seem to communicate like real people.
Like if someone walks up to you and you're like,
Mugh!
Mugh!
And like waving their hands wildly, you'd be like,
what is it?
What's wrong instead of being like,
are you trying to tell me you don't want to buy a new house?
Even though we talked about this,
oh, you won't even speak to me,
because you're that angry with me.
Well, forget it.
Like in real life, you'd be like,
what's the problem?
I don't understand.
Yeah.
Trying to communicate with someone.
You seem like you're really upset.
I've noticed that my husband hasn't said any words to me
in a couple of days.
This may be more serious than that he doesn't want to move.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
He might have a magic tree tied to his soul.
Yeah, and that's what I would guess.
And the other thing, and also, he never attempts to tell his wife what the problem is.
He tells his assistant at work before he tells his wife, which is ridiculous.
I mean, it's indicative of his problems.
But eventually he tells her, but he doesn't really have hearted stupid way.
He does it.
Yeah, I mean, I think he's really doing it so we can have that S&M style dominate trick sex that he was
promised he was angling for.
The other thing is that this is the kind of movie where most of the characters react
in the most old fashioned way.
They meet up with a, they're having lunch with these two guys from Simon Schuster, business
suits.
You're basically middle-aged white guys.
Very stuffy. And his assistant isuster, business suits, your basic middle age like guys, very stuffy.
And his assistant is like, hey bro, so sit down, because any movie said, talk like you're
me, you do the talking and his assistant is talking like street slang.
And every time the other guys on the table like, oh, well, I never, like they might as well
have been Dowagers with opera glasses, you know, and jewels on their wrists.
It's been like, oh, this is not the way we talk
at a business meeting when in the year 2008, 2009,
when this was shot, like, I think feel like everyone talks
like that all the time now as a joke.
Like, even if they'd be like, all right, we're cool.
We get it, homey.
Now let's talk about this business deal.
Like it would not be, they wouldn't be like,
oh, well, I never, I think you're rewriting the scene as we speak. I basically, yeah. I also find it
hilarious to do a movie where they're trying to land a big book deal when the publishing industry
cannot afford to pay for books. Like to manufacture them? Yeah, I mean, to buy them. It's books don't
sell very well. Do you feel this script is written about a literary agent,
like a kind of an asshole literary agent
because the writer was like,
fucking literary agents?
It's possible.
It's also one of those jobs where you don't really need to know
that much about what the job entails,
like being an architect or an art gallery owner.
Or like, so like a-
Or be in a magazine if you're a woman in a romantic comedy.
Yes, the character can just go in and be like,
we've got to put this deal together.
And then they're gonna go,
we'll give you $200,000, not enough for the deal.
Okay, we'll call back later.
And like that's his whole job.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
That's an easy way to measure success on whether or not
you get the deal.
Exactly.
So I think that's all we can say about this. You're shutting it down.
I'm shutting this down.
Hell, it's so tired of a thousand words.
I am.
Damn, people worked on this movie.
I don't think so.
They spent $40 million to make this movie.
That sounds really?
That's exactly how much it cost according to Wikipedia.
That's just, that's just the button.
That's not just, that's not just.
30 million of that go to any Murphy.
I think 35 million of it was locked into a chest
in gold and thrown in the bottom of the ocean
as a gift to Poseidon,
so that they could have a successful film
and the other side.
That explains the wonderful weather.
And the other five.
You should have put more money,
they should have given Poseidon more money.
That leaves 5 million left.
3 million of that was just shoveled into a fire.
Sure.
Just because they could.
They're meaning 2 million went to Eddie Murphy.
Okay.
No, this is a...
It's time for final judgments on this movie.
Was this a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, or a movie you kind of liked?
Elliot.
I'm gonna say it's a bad bad movie, but I liked the genre.
Who's in?
Yeah.
I want Hollywood to make more of this type of movie until they get it right, basically, like a light fantasy drama, but this was a bad movie.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, wait, wait, were you gonna go?
I don't care. Then I'll go. It was a bad, bad movie. There were two characters I liked. I liked moments of Clark Duke's performance only small moments and I really like the guy who sold Eddie Murphy
His ice cream
At the very end for God knows what reason Eddie Murphy has decided to walk along the Santa Monica boardwalk
So he gets a giant Sunday gets a big gets by the big Sunday Stuart
You want to do your impression of the guy who sells the guy leans out the window while Eddie Murphy's eyeball on this giant Sunday, and he's like,
Hey, enjoy.
Hey, have a bite.
It is like a serial killer character from another movie suddenly showed up for a second.
Big break, big break.
Gotta sell it.
I want to make the movie about that character now, and just have audiences know that he interacted
with Eddie Murphy in a thousand words.
Hey, have a bite of that.
You'll never get with a secret ingredient in this.
It's love.
Oh, it's much nicer than what I thought.
Yeah, this is a bad movie, but I can't.
I kind of can't hate it.
Like, for a movie that sound the shelf for so long, I expected it to be much worse than this.
Yeah.
And what I got was just like I am the basic mannequin of a man.
This is like the basic just unpainted mannequin of this story.
So you're saying this is like the model kit you would buy that you're supposed to paint
and they just never painted it.
Yeah, you didn't even just, you didn't even like disconnect the plastic pieces from each other.
The sprues, yeah. What are't even just you didn't even like disconnect the plastic pieces from each other's brews. Yeah, what are they called?
Sproos
The plastic frames that plastic model cats come on. I didn't know that yeah
Well, this has been the model cast we talk about super models and model cars and of course
Howard Hughes is a normus playing the sprues goose which was made entirely out of those plastic frames
But yeah, you're right.
This is kind of like a basic, no one tried very hard movie.
So any Murphy looks like he's trying very hard, but not so much.
Not sure if it's an internet and over there, Dan.
I'm just trying to get our mail bag open.
Why?
The Flophouse mail bag.
You know what would buy you time to look up the letters on your iPad?
A bit of a song, a maestro.
Flophouse letters.
We're gonna read a few. to look up the letters on your iPad. A bit of a song, Maestro. Flophouse letters, we're
gonna read a few. Flophouse letters, they said from you. Flophouse letters, send them along.
Flophouse letters, and we'll sing you this song. Flophouse letters. Flophouseters. Time for some flop house letters.
Tonight.
Perfect pitch.
So, uh, wait, was I?
Was I?
Yeah, both of us.
Yeah, it was perfect pitch.
First off, I want to thank some donors.
Thank some donuts.
Thanks a lot.
You were delicious.
Sorry about your families. which I also ate.
Thanks some donors. We have Dimitri T. Thanks Dimitri. uh... asley b thanks asley uh... we also have uh... from uh... donation from
jeffrey i
thanks jeffrey
thank uh... thank them
we did
yeah just did that
thanks all you guys again
uh... your money helps us keep dan alive as you can tell he's barely making it
through
michael c
thanks michael and lastly thanks rimi live as you can tell he's barely making it through. Thank you. Michael C. Thanks, Michael.
And lastly, thanks, Remy M.
Thanks, Remy.
Hey, Remy, thanks.
A lot of donors.
Thank you.
Well, I was saving up some, because I honestly,
because I got forgetting.
But your money helps us buy the valuable coffee that
keeps Dan from falling asleep while he's talking.
It's not working that well right now falling asleep while he's talking. It's not working
that well right now but um see here uh so uh I think I just I didn't delete an email while
in the air. Archive. We'll just put that in a different folder. So Dan you ready with these
letters should I say another song? So what's been going on, Elliot?
Oh, well, I'm going to the UK in a couple weeks.
Oh, okay, old Blighty.
Yeah, I guess you could go with that.
We're gonna hike across the pond.
My wife and I are gonna hike through Scotland and then visit a couple towns in England.
Okay. It should be a lot of fun.
Doing some shopping.
Not probably not, but eating crisps.
You know it.
Gonna eat as much fried food and meat in pie form as I can.
Okay.
Alright, so this letter is titled...
Talk about my vacation, Dan.
Back to the letters.
This letter's titled the zoo letter.
Let's return to those letters.
Time for those letters.
I promised you were a layer.
Here they come right out of Dan's mouth food.
Originally from your pen letters
This letter is titled the Zoolander Zone. It's from Colin last name with hell
Greene's handsome Dan and the floppers
I recently rewatched a favorite from my formidable tween years.
I don't know that they were formidable, maybe formative.
Well, I don't know, maybe he's like a prodigy or something.
Yeah.
My formidable tween years, Austin Powers, the spy who shacked me, only to discover that
it is now slash was always horrible.
No amount of verntroy related humor or penis shape satellite innuendo's can salvage it.
There's now a class of movies.
And it makes me feel old.
He was a tween then.
I was a teen.
Yeah.
There's now a class of movies I love growing up, which I'm terrified to ever watch again,
worried that I'll just ruin the wonderful memories I have.
I've dubbed this, the Zoolander Zone, named after the movie I most love growing up,
and thus I'm most afraid to watch ever again.
Other entries include the Stiller Apatow.
The Tarkovsky film.
Other entries include the Stiller Apatow Fee, Fat Camp Masterpiece, Heavy Wates, and Steve
Barron's Magnum Opus Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Still good.
Can you guys think of any movies from your youth that fell into this trap or if not can you at
least suit the fat bastard size hole in my heart with some ribbled quips p.s. free David K.
Lynn he's not in prison he's just got to get tell of sports stuff yeah free David K.
Lynn so you I was I was actually thinking about this other day. I was talking about top secret, the Zuckerbrothers movie.
And it's with Valiant Kilmer.
Yeah.
Watching it now, it just, like, maybe it's because it's been,
all the jokes have been done by everyone else at this point.
Now, like it's been copied so many times.
It just doesn't have the impact that it used to.
Or maybe I was just younger and thought it was funnier. Well, no, I haven't seen the naked gun movies in a long time, and I loved those sure if it's a lot of the things that I've been
on. It just doesn't have the
impact that he used to or
maybe I was just younger and
thought it was funnier.
Well, no, it's true. I
kind of I haven't seen the
naked gun movies in a
long time and I love those
as a kid and I and it might
be the same thing I might
be like, this is not so
great. I mean a lot of a
number of male brooks is not
as good movies fall into I
mean like when I was in
middle school space balls
was the funniest movie in
the world and I cannot
watch it. I think it has that title. I don't think so.
But there, I mean, you can't be afraid to look at the movies of your past and look at
them with your adult eyes and say, hey, thank you for the joy you gave me as a child.
I don't have to watch you ever again.
And I can come to terms with you're not being good for adults, but good for kids.
Like summer school or ski school.
Any movie school in the title.
I mean, there are movies that I enjoyed as a kid
that like, it's more likely that I will have
irrational affection for something that isn't that good,
you know, objectively, you know,
that I'll still enjoy watching it
because of the time that I-
I mean, there's, I guess that's, I don't know,
like Teen Wolf maybe is like that for me like
Yeah, it was one I one of my sister's favorite movies and we watched all the time as a kid and my wife had never seen it
It was on TV so we started watching it. I was like she was like do we have to keep watching this?
It's like this is not a very good movie at all. No that well I mean that's it was never
We're really slow that movie it's incredibly slow for a movie about a teenager becomes a basketball playing ball it is very slow I mean it's more like a basketball playing teddy bear man that's
true it looks like a basketball harry playing greek guy he's just very hairy yeah I mean
I like I I screened you know I I have a horror movie you scream every Halloween I show either Halloween. Oh, man the cryptgiebers. Oh, hello. Flop house goons
I screened
You know cast ghost on your pod course
Is goons a pun on something no
Then I said ghost on your pod corpse so I made up for it with two more guns. That was another one instead of more I said more
What Abraham could ever
Like one of the puppeteers truly
He's point words out for no reason. I mean like Abraham could ever doesn't even fit into the conversation we were having
Sure, it does
Sure it John does Sure it jaundose.
I guess a corpse is called a jaundose.
It got a ghost.
Oh, see you later.
See you later, corpse 15.
See you later, keep seeing.
Well, I was going to say.
See you later, CK.
Every Halloween.
I show horror movies or movies that are, you know, Halloween related in some way.
And I double, you know, I double them up. I have like a movie that I like and a movie that's there just makes fun of.
Yeah.
And one year for the movie I liked, I showed the monster squad and I could see the people in the audience who would not see the monster squad when they were a child.
Kind of baffled by my affection for it.
But that's the case we're just persisted rather than I was able to let it go.
Yeah, there's also a movie that you genuinely outgrow.
Like the Star Wars movies, for instance, I still have an affection for it, but I don't
get the same enjoyment out of them that I once did.
You know.
So, whereas War Games, I could watch over and over again.
The monsters with how we manned on Fred's average always gets better.
Yeah, always. There's so many layers. That one. Uh, this is that layers.
Well, layer cake. Yeah. Is from like onions. David last name with held. It's brother.
It is my brother. How David Kale Is that, oh, oh my God.
What's, what, okay, was it correcting us about this?
Let's get our Mars and our Omar's straight fellas.
Oh, shit.
First of all, I would like to nip in the butt,
any suggestion by Stuart?
Can you say nip in the butt?
Nip in the butt.
Okay, because nip in the butt is the phrase.
Any suggestion by Stuart that I might be writing you all
just to get attention since I was actually invited
to correct you this time.
Wrong. With that out of the way, however, I'm sorry. I was actually invited to correct you this time. Wrong.
With that out of the way, however, I'm sorry.
It was a courtesy invitation, not meant to be taking that.
I'm sorry to have to be denied three times as custom miles.
The Jason Mara is not related to Rooney Mara
because Jason Mara is in fact not his name.
The actor from Taronov and Life on Mars is actually Jason Omara.
While Omara is not related to the Mara family in any way that I can see he is Irish and you are the master genealogist which I suppose could
lead to a connection since Rooney and Kate Mars grandfather Dan Rooney is currently the
ambassador to Ireland and the Rooney family did immigrate from down country Ireland in
the 19th century that connection however probably a bit of a stretch. I hope this clears this up for you. You can all that
Commit your mockery. Oh
Wow, so like the great the the the curtain that hides the wheel of the universe that shows how everything fits into place has been
Been pulled back. I hope the Mara family is paying him as the family genealogists
family is paying him as the family genealogists. Oh, that was your brother's beard doing.
He shaved it because the devil's lost a Stanley Cup.
No, that makes sense.
Yeah.
And because he looked like a Jewish mountain man.
If a rabbi went into the woods to fight bears, he could come back looking like my brother.
So, so his beard was was going to help them win, I guess.
Yes, there's a beard failed.
Well, so he punished it by shaving it.
Yes, it turned out he had, he could only say the words
that were in the number of hairs he had in his beard.
Every time he said a word of beard hair fell out,
he got very patchy by the end.
And when he lost all of his beard hair,
he stopped looking like a crazy person.
That was his curse.
Crazy.
But yeah, the mystical link between his facial hair and the devils did not went out.
So this letter is titled Dear Flip House.
Well, I believe you've sent your letter to the wrong place.
Madam or sir?
Hey guys, I know you're super busy with this week with Treppies Fest.
Are you trying to flip a house on us?
Hey guys, I know you're super busy this week with Treppys Fest, but I just wanted to drop
you a quick line and say how much I've loved the last episode. When Drew and Stan went
off that riff about the fifth century Minoan pottery depicting the man doing a handstand
on the back of a bull, I laughed harder than I'd ever left before. And the addition of
the flip house flying squirrel is amazing. Drew sounds just like one.
There are a ton of acrobats themed podcasts out there, but only one has the powerhouse,
forgive the pun.
Team of Drew, Stan and Wyatt.
Flip house forever, yours in perpetuity, Harrison Garbage.
Harrison Garbage.
Only the air to the garbage fortune.
Wow, he must be famous.
He was a misdirected email.
That seems to have fallen through a hole from an alternate universe.
Once again, the guy organizing our mail bag has dropped the ball.
Yeah, or the bag, as it were.
Oh, we don't receive our mail in a ball.
No, unlike everyone else in the universe.
We also don't take our mail in a ball.
So, it is not hurled through our windows wrapped in the universe. We also don't take our mail in a ball.
Sir. This is not her all throw windows wrapped in a ball.
This last letter is from David last name with hell.
Is it seriously my brother again? Oh my God.
And he says, how can he write letters when we haven't even had episodes
in response? I missed about four minutes of the live event of
quite cool Friday.
So perhaps you guys pointed this out and I just wasn't there or maybe I didn't hear
you.
Got above.
But during the film, there was something that bothered me about the actor playing in
Epsilum and Mike Pryor in the town of Babylon.
I mean, in Epsilum, I think he's unfair-critical.
He is corrupt.
He's very good at being corrupt.
Mostly in that he looks very familiar and I couldn't pay why. This morning it hit me and I realized that Jared Martin, the man who played prior,
also played the role of Frank Hillhurst in the 1994 Academy Award winner for Best Picture
Twin Cities. Does this make Jared Martin the only person of peer in two flopp house live event
feature films? Or perhaps more importantly, does it make him the greatest actor of our time?
After all, he was in an episode of Silk Stockings according to IMDB and you just can't buy a
juicy role like that. P.S. I know you're wondering why I haven't said anything about sports yet.
So if you're looking for a talent, which I know you are, Martin was also in the 1980 TV movie,
Willow B, Women in Prison, in the role of Dave Tyree, which is also
the same name as David Tyree, whose name is Catching Him, She's Helmet, and Super Bowl XLII.
I'm sorry.
A hundred thousand one.
Okay.
Super Bowl a hundred thousand one.
Helps lead the Giants to Victory.
You're welcome.
There was, that was a pretty far stretch for sports, but I do appreciate his pointing
out something that Stewart actually texted me and Dan recently, that that sheriff was the uncle in twin setters.
That is so the guy who went into protection.
Or dad?
Was he their dad?
No, he was there.
He was there uncle.
Yeah, he's the guy who went into witness protection because he was going to turn, he's
going to turn state's evidence on George Laisenby.
It's just weird that after the events of that movie, he went on to become a corrupt
sheriff in Northern California.
He realized that that's...
Well, crime fades, my face, yeah.
And also the twin-sitters, I assume, ate his children.
And so he needed to get away from Southern California where he had all those bad memories.
Yeah.
Um, you...
I only just spilled some water on my table, and so I went and I got him a paper towel.
And then once I gave him the paper towel, he looked at me like it was the craziest thing in the world and he had nothing, no idea what to do with that towel.
Physical comedy.
I guess you can, you can edit that out.
Yeah.
That explanation.
I just, I just thought it was strange that like, it seemed very clear to me why I might be handing you something like that and you just so movie pictures. Yeah so film movies. Flop has live event
it was great thanks David for reminding us to tell people about that that
there's a hidden connection between twin-citters and quiet cool can you
find it I hope you can since we just told you what it was. And I think this is the
first one I've done since we did the live event.
So thanks everybody for coming out.
Yeah, very much for coming out.
And I want to mention that in violation of 92 Y Tribeca policy,
but in in accordance with good internet policy,
someone filmed our bits in between the yeah you're gonna keep the anonymous live show
yeah sure I don't want to get the prosecuted by nightcats I'm coming after
92 white Tribecacats but if you go on the Flapphouse Facebook page if you
join the Flapphouse Facebook group you can see those hilarious bits in case you
missed it or in case you saw it and wanted to see it again our three bits about a
quite cool,
they might not make a whole lot of sense to you
if you haven't seen the movie quite cool,
but the entire movie is a bunch of two.
So what you do is watch half of quite cool,
pause it, watch the bits.
You're gonna wanna pause it
when they're trapped in the burning house.
That's where we had a transmission.
Spoiler alert.
That's where the information was.
Yeah.
I mean, officially,
officially the flop house is against bootlegging, but uno on officially we're not gonna take those off of the internet
So yeah, that's 92 white truck back us job. Yeah, so this is the part. Thank you them for hosting us. Yeah
This is the part where we recommend a movie a movie that we liked are you guys gonna recommend a thousand words because I was thinking I might
I think you're free clear. Maybe if we do it all at the same time
Well, maybe I'll just recommend a different movie. I love that. Just to be safe
But that's okay because then I'll just be me and Dan recommending it. That's okay
We don't need to make the story
The boss boss man. Yeah, I'll just I'll go why not I mean
I'm sure I don't need to recommend this movie to anyone who's listening to the flop house
I feel like it's squarely in the flop house demographic
but last night I
Rewatched Starship troopers with a friend. Okay, and a lady friend movie holds up
That's what I watch when I want to impress a lady friend. Starship Super.
Starship Super.
It's one of these movies.
It's one of these movies.
It's one of these movies.
It's one of these movies.
It's one of these movies.
It's one of these movies.
It's one of these movies.
It's one of the couple movies that I really loved when I first saw that I feel like
a critical opinion is caught up with.
Yeah, that's it.
At the time, all, like all these critics
were responding to it on its surface level
as like this weird endorsement of fascism
when it's clearly a satire of that and of like,
just raw raw like action films in general.
And I had the same sort of experience
when I really enjoyed the Big Lebowski
when it first came out and like I remember a lot of people
being like, what the fuck is this?
Because it came out right after Fargo and people thought it was like this big step back.
But I like, and I was thinking, I was watching Starship Troopers last night and I was thinking
how it's weird that I usually hate CGI, but for some reason the CGI bugs and that, even
though like that was very early CGI and like it's not like they look particularly real,
like I still like it in that movie
I'm not quite sure why I would say CGI is taking a huge step backwards since the 90s if you compare like for instance Jurassic Park
Yeah, and the CGI and that current CGI it is has gotten
Cheaper and quicker to do yeah
It feels like it's care into it. Yeah, there's like an accept like an understanding of its limitations
So they are careful about how they use it. Yeah. Like
say, fucking the expendables where they just use CGI for all the blood. Yeah. All right.
But anyway, Starship Troopers, go see it if you haven't. Yeah. It's playing a theater
near you many years ago by which we mean your house if you rent it. If you can find a video
rental place, which you can't or just get it on Netflix.
Anyway, or imagine it or read the book by Robert Heinlein.
It's like I want to have CGI bugs probably.
No, probably unless you use your mansion.
So imagine your brain.
Imagine your brain.
Imagine your brain.
Imagine your brain.
Imagine your brain.
Your brain movie, all the cause known as a movie.
Unless you have a terrible imagination in which case that movie sucks
So Ellie's cold sucker bunch then
What do you want to recommend? I would like to recommend a new film that's in theaters now
And not stars of troopers, so not stars of troopers
I'd like to recommend a movie I saw on Friday and
Didn't know that Dan was going to the exact same screening of it until he walked into the theater.
But that movie is-
He looked at you uncomfortably and then said as far from you as possible.
Yeah, but that's just because I knew that Dan was going to masturbate during the film.
So I was glad he was sitting that far.
But that is Wes Anderson's new movie Moonrise Kingdom.
There are a lot of people who don't like Wes Anderson, that's okay, that's fine.
And he certainly does- he has his styles and full force in this movie.
But I feel like as far as his movies go, it is maybe the most mature he's made so far and I think the best he's done so far,
he's boiled down his story and his characters to a very focused intensity.
There are a lot of really funny jokes in it, the emotions in it are much more powerful
and I think he's found his voice by taking children as his main characters as opposed to kind of fucked
up adults who can't get over their childhoods.
And it makes those character flaws both easier to accept and more sympathetic.
I think when it's coming from a child as opposed to a fucking adult who can't get off
his ass and just do things.
But I really liked it a lot and I thought it was great and I found it both funny and
affecting. Everything a thousand words was not. And I want to say something about Wes Anderson.
I mean I really like the movie too. It's not my personal favorite Wes Anderson movie. But so is
that your final judgment on that one? Yes, but I really liked it. But I just wanted to address
like Wes Anderson haters in general. Dan Dan's got to wait until the controversy.
I will take the role of Wes Anderson Hader.
I just will, I don't understand.
Err, it feels like.
Too many daddy issues.
It feels like a lot of cute.
I feel like a lot of people are irritated by the framing.
So much symmetry.
People are outraged.
So much orange at Wes Anderson for making Wes Anderson movies.
Like people, I feel like are
Mad about the fact they're making these movies
Can I just make my point without? Go ahead. It's it's weird to me how like mad people get over the fact that these Wes Anderson movies exist
Because because they're so Wes Anderson's like that's what makes them at and it's like guys, you know like
99.9 repeating
percent of all movies are non-West Anderson movies.
So just go watch one of those fucking things.
Like if you don't like Wes Anderson, like,
stop complaining about the fact that he has a personal style
and he does these things.
Like, what are you saying that people are like going
out of their way to be like, Wes Anderson sucks,
or is it because they're like, oh, there's a new Wes Anderson
movie. I don't care for him. Like, which, I feel like people are actually going out of the way to say Wes Anderson sucks or is it because they're like, oh, there's a new Wes Anderson movie. I don't care for him, like which?
I feel like people are actually going out of the way
to say Wes Anderson sucks.
In front of the theater, holding a sign.
So there's been a lot of protests.
I just, I feel like his movie is inspire a level of
iron in certain people that is way out of proportion
with like anything that he's done, you know, like.
I, are you seeing this mainly on the internet?
Because I feel like everything on the internet inspires a level of iron. It doesn't really deserve. That's done. You know, like, uh, I, are you seeing this mainly on the internet? Because I feel like everything on the internet
inspires the level of iron.
It doesn't really deserve.
That's true, but I have had like personal conversations
with people about Wes Anderson movies.
And I was like, oh, you know, he does that, that thing,
that Wes Anderson thing.
I'm like, yeah, because he's fucking Wes Anderson.
Like, why do you get mad at a person for doing the thing
that they're known for doing?
Like, I would agree with you you except that they're plenty.
They're a number of creative artists who have their own tics that bug me and I could just as easily avoid their stuff
But I'd still get frustrated by it.
I just I think that it's amplified out of proportion with him.
Is is is my argument?
Well, I'm going to talk about some movies.
I've seen research.
All right, Mrs. Wes Anderson can take the first one.
The first one I saw recently, which has inspired no wire from anybody, was Prometheus.
That's one where I have to admit, I'm surprised by how angry people have been about it.
I mean, come on, dude, there's like aliens sex, spoiler alert, there's all kinds of monsters.
There's a bunch of monsters and there is like a bunch of sci-fi garbage that's a lot of fun.
Like, I don't know why people are, people have gotten very angry about that in a way I don't quite get.
Well, I don't get like something like the nitpicky arguments
like at my birth, I had an argument with a friend of mine
who was like upset about the, like the, the surgery pod.
Well, that's not, which is,
which is, which is like, quite obviously like the best
fucking thing in the movie, but maybe I would say,
yeah, that's the best thing.
I like other things.
He got mad about the fact that this lady was running around
after she had this major surgery.
And I'm like, what a weird like internet fanboy thing
to get mad about.
I'm willing to accept, okay, this is a science fiction film.
They have this magic medical pod.
She's more healed than she would be normal.
Let's just get on with the movie.
Let's take the word science fiction out of your answer.
This is a film.
This is a movie deal with it.
Like people do that kind of stuff in movies all the time. Let's just, you know, yeah,
it's like, it's like, whatever they want. This same person that you're talking about complained to me
about how the archaeologist wasn't like an archaeologist. He was like this extreme sports type guy,
fucking, you know, not an archaeologist at all. It's a movie, you know what? They're always going
to cast more attractive versions of things. Have you seen like the people who get into like the sciences? They have a wide range of interest.
Like no, they're all nerds. Okay. All button-own nerds. They all look exactly the same. They're
wearing lab coats and glasses and that's the only type of person there is. Yeah. Anyway,
what was it? What were you going to say to your friend? No, no, yeah, I totally liked it.
It's a movie that I enjoyed, and yet I agree,
like I can agree with every negative,
every person I agree with.
Every person is like, yeah, that's true,
but it was also a lot of fun.
Yeah, and it's a movie that to this day,
I still think about a good deal.
Yeah, I think with this.
Even now, weeks later.
I'm, to this day.
I'm haunted by, I'm haunted by,
I'm haunted by putting on the 3D glasses. To this day. I take a whole decade later.
Haunted by putting on the 3D glasses.
It was one of the best uses of 3D I've seen,
and I do not like 3D.
Yeah.
But the way they used it for the computer display
as I thought was really great.
Yeah, and I love getting to see
a little bit of Lawrence of Arabian 3D.
Yeah.
As it was meant to be seen.
Yep, as engendered.
Were you going to recommend something else though?
You said two that already. Oh, I mean, I saw, I as engender. Were you going to recommend something else though?
You said too that already.
I mean, I saw, I didn't know.
Did you guys already recommend Prometheus?
I think I might have.
Last time, just because I haven't seen a lot of movies.
But a double wreck is okay.
And I saw Hey Wire, which I think you recommended.
Not like that.
I like watching Andrews get beat up by a MMA fighter.
And I'd also like to recommend Hard Target starring.
John Claude Van Damme
Chance Boudreau. John moves first American film hard target. Oh, yeah, it's amazing Wilford Bremley's great
He's got a bone arrow. I'll watch it. All right. Yeah, sure who wouldn't want to see Wilford Bremley with a bone arrow
It's a fucking triple recommendation. Yeah, that's three movies only one of which is
Sped it's not last all three are playing in theaters near you.
Nope. Not at all. I remember. I don't know why you have certain strong
memories of movie advertisements, but the billboards for hard target with the
like spearhead with John Cloud Van Am's head in it facing it for some reason
has stuck with me for such a long time. Whereas movies I'm like he's got that
really cool. Yeah, the movies I like much more
that I cannot remember what the posters looked like.
Hard target, just burned it to my mind.
I can't stop thinking of when he does those high kicks
and those, because he wears really tight jeans,
but he can still do really high kicks.
Those are probably Chuck Norris action jeans.
The jeans designed to give you more leg movement.
Really?
Yeah.
Those exist.
They used to exist.
This is actually, we found, a couple years ago, we found an old ad for them online, or
I saw a website that had it up.
And my boss, Rory, called the number in the ad, which was like a warehouse somewhere in
the ass of if they had any Chuck Norse action jeans line around, that he could buy, but they
said they hadn't sold them years.
Oh, that's a shame, because if I know anyone who could use
to check Norse action genes, it's really.
It's really, yeah.
But I just love that he was like, is the number readable?
Yeah, I'm calling that company.
It's like really?
Because his ad is like 25 years old.
I don't care.
Maybe they still have some in a box.
Yes, when it's draws.
The more like archaeologists searching for secrets
of our creators, the more all of stories always follow your dreams.
A trillion dollar space exploration to find action genes.
Always follow your dreams, even if it's to warehouse in Pennsylvania.
Yeah, keep hope alive that you'll keep the Pope alive.
Yeah, I think we're in there with a stirring call for people to not kill the pope.
Please, the flop house says don't kill the pope.
Yeah, we can all agree on that.
Remember the lesson of a thousand words that I'm not being killed.
Still trying to figure out how action genes have worked.
I don't know, they're like a room in the stretchier for some reason.
So they're like juggings or they're like they're like LBJs jeans. They got more space in the bunghole area. Nobody knows what you talk about. Okay. So let's
just wrap up the episode. All right. For the flop. Look it up. Google LBJ and and bunghole and
you'll be in for a treat. Probably not going to do that. For for the house. I've been Dan McCoy.
I'm still steward Wellington.
And I continue to be elite Kalen as himself.
Night everyone.
Boom. Good night.
Another one down.
Click, click.
Click. Do I, can I be the murderous Android?
I think you are.
Is this Saturn 3?
Hello, I mean...
Oh, you're the Prometheus murderous.
I am the murderous robo.
Be nice to me or I'll put things in your drink.
Don't, don't make fun of the fact that I can't have a baby.
Don't, don't make fun of the fact that I can't have a baby.
Ha ha.