The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #108 - Passion Play
Episode Date: August 19, 20120:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 35:10 - At least Passion Play is the first Megan Fox movie that's not bad BECAUSE of Megan Fox. That's gotta be worth something, right?35:11 - 38:26 - Final... judgments38:27 - 55:05 - Flop House Movie Mailbag55:06 - 59:24 - The sad bastards recommend. 59:25 - 1:00:27 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
In this episode we discussed the movie where Megan Fox has wings, possibly due to Red Bull abuse.
Action play! Hey everyone and welcome to the Flop House, I'm Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington.
This voice should be associated with the name Elliot Kalen, for that is my name and this
is my voice.
They are talking weird.
What are you mean, Stewart?
I always talk like this.
So, hey, welcome.
They was coming.
Welcome to our podcast home.
Established.
Welcome.
Let's move on to step two, doing the five guests.
Step one, welcoming listeners has been achieved.
Great work, everybody.
Ten at its end.
Let's move on.
Are you sure? I mean, were there any accidents during that time? Should we flip over the sign?
Nope, nothing. Nothing we're talking about. So let's just keep it moving.
Let's just get on to the next stage, doing the podcast.
That's all right. Well, this is a podcast where we watch a movie called The Flop House.
Yeah. A movie called The Flop House. Yeah.
A movie is called The Flop House.
No, wait.
No, the podcast.
I'm sure they know that.
If they download it.
Flop House, podcast.
We watch a bad movie that is a flop in some way.
And we chat about it.
So we've already watched the movie.
Yes.
That's what I have it earlier.
Okay.
Those were those series of pictures of those stuff that were in front of your eyes earlier
in the night
Stuart and now we're on to the part where you talk about the thing you saw and the thing we saw today was a movie called
Passion Play not to be can pop up passion play yeah pop up up passion play that to be confused with the centuries-old
Christian tradition of the same name. Yeah, this movie stars Michael R it was Anne Hathaway and Meg Fox
When it's doing that was growing up. We were both he knows there was blant halfway
What I never said that well because they were friends so we could call her something funny
Well me and Meg Fox were just huge fans of Peter Benchley's book Meg about the giant scene I saw he used to call her that she called me Gam which is Meg backwards
It's weird. I don't why would she call you by her name backwards?
No, it's because we're both fans of the book, Meg.
Oh, I get it.
Well, you know what, let's just forget I ever said I was friends with Meg and Fox, okay?
And move on.
Rizah fans is also in this movie.
Yeah.
Playing an evil carny bar.
That's who that was.
Yeah, Rizah fans.
You may know him as.
Not a kill.
Listen.
You may know him as, yeah,
weird guy from Not a Kill. You may know him as a balloon crazy guy from Enduring Love.
Or the ape man from Human Nature. Yeah. I don't know why we're talking a lot about him since
he has one of the smaller parts in the movie. Yeah, he barely shows up at it. This is really the
story of... It's really a three-person playlet.
Yes, and went passion play, if you will.
Yeah.
This is really-
I'll be playing the role of Mickey Rork.
Okay, wait, are we acting in a-
You're in Madden Fox and you can be Riz of Phones.
But you're going to play Bill Murray, the villain?
No, not today.
So, what-
Should we can say what this movie is about?
Sure.
If anyone doesn't know-
Play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play So should we can say what this movie is about? Sure. If anyone doesn't know. Why don't we stop and start over?
No, it's not good.
Passionplay has, I think, it came out relatively recently,
but it's become a little notorious already
for being a bizarre and stupid movie.
Mickey work, apologize for.
Mickey before it came out, Ricky,
Mickey work actually said an interview that sometimes
you make stinkers like this one.
Well, there have been several movies that Mickey workark has been in that he hasn't apologized for.
That are even, that are also terrible.
Yeah, so you get a sense, you get a baseline for this movie
might be like.
This movie was written and directed by Mitch Glazer,
who also co-wrote Scrooge, among other things.
And this was a project, a passion project in his own,
who was trying to get off the ground for about 20 years,
featuring starring friends of his.
And it's really the story of young Mikkelson Rorke, who plays a pile of mashed potatoes molded
into a human form and then given a stringy wig and a hat, who is a jazz trumpet player
who's down on his luck, he's a recovering junkie, and he's in bed with a local gangster
named Happy. And he's taken...
He takes her named Happy. Now I've heard everything.
Before Happy was just the name of a son and death of a salesman, but now a gangster.
All right.
He's taken it out into the desert to be killed. I assume for pissing off his gangster,
but a band of random Indians in Karategarb shoot the bad guy and
Mickey War gets away he wanders through the desert and comes upon a strange
side-show circus and then I mean the gangster is fault like you don't take a guy
out into the desert and not expect to get killed by Kung Fu Indians. Well if you
take them to engine territory yes and if you take them to Kung Fu
engine territory yeah exactly very much. There's a 50% on counter chance. There's like a 85%
encounter chance, 15% chance of rain, which is also going to ruin your assassination,
which is because you're going to get your shoes wet. So anyway, he stumbles on this circus
side show run by Riz Efan's as a filthy stringy-haired fellow, almost everyone in the movie
has stringy hair, and he finds Megan Fox, an angel woman or bird girl who has real wings on back.
What's the difference between an angel woman or bird girl?
Bird girl is kind of a derogatory racist term against.
They've heard of you called angel women.
No, okay.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
I mean, she looks like an angel.
Well, but you smile on her eyes.
I don't know about that.
So be here.
You know, just being the perfect figure of womanhood. Nida looks more like a robot designed by an alien trying to lure a human man into a spaceship.
And in this case, succeeded by the Wrig Mickey Roar.
Yeah, so...
And Jada monster.
So when he went to get a man and he almost immediately got a food golem.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah...
But yeah... But yeah...
The podcast where we insult Hollywood's top stars. Yeah, top stars yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, love with the bird girl but first he kind of conspired to leaving the circus and joining him but his plan is he's gonna kind of trade her to the gangster
Bill Murray in exchange for his own life but he falls in love with her and feels
bad about doing that and is gonna repent but then the gangster comes along and
kidnaps the girl takes her to his house and forces her to watch the movie
brute force the Fertlitecaster which is a fantastic movie. She was hating it. She did not
seem to like it very much. Mickey Rourke comes by and says, come with me, and she
says, no I'm staying and it's clear that she's giving up her life to save
his life. Yeah, clear to everyone but Mickey Rourke.
Mickey Rourke who is dumb as a bag of rocks. He resolves to get her back and eventually does.
Yeah, well, she's on display as like sort of an art object.
You know, we're like...
Bill Murray lives with her in a hotel for a little bit
until Rizza fans comes by and tries to get her back.
Bill Murray shoots him in the chest and then decides,
I guess it's time to put this girl on display.
Yeah, she's standing in a glass box covered in her boobs wearing just underpants and Mickeywork comes by, smashes
the glass box, saves her.
Well, local rich people in Debbie Tons stare at it.
Just going to look on. They get they escape to the roof of building and Megan Fox says
established by now that she can float when the winds hits her just right, but she can't
fly.
Because her wings are fucking tiny. They're not big enough. I'll make you work
Don't get lady wings. Yeah, but I mean she's not like big
Like you have
Yeah, you're big manly wings your regular hawk man
I'm a man from Barbara. Oh, that's what I was trying to do is draw attention to me having wings
by making fun of her
It was all right. You're a regular Ryan Blessed from Flash Gordon.
Uh, so and Mickey Rorick to, uh, I guess,
Forrest Hurts and Dumb O Moment to Forrest her
believe in herself.
He jumps off the roof, uh, Megan Fox dives after him
and catches him and manages to fly.
Oh my God, it's amazing.
She's flying and they fly over deserts and he looks down and
sees his own dead body. It turns out he was dead the whole time and he dreams the whole thing.
It's a real... Ambrose Bears. Well, I mean, did he dream the whole thing or this? This is like,
maybe he was in sort of a purgatory, now he's redeemed. Okay, it's another way to say purgatory is a
series of shitty jazz clubs, laundromats and circuses. Or a terrible movie that you have to watch for a while,
and then you're redeemed at the end.
And then then.
And that's the end of the movie.
So this is an hour and a half movie with almost no plot in it.
A lot of scenes with character just kind of murmur
for a long time with each other.
But just a gorgeous film, just beautiful look at.
Just not exactly.
I thought I was the sarcastic
one. We have to rehand out personas. Yeah. Yeah. So now, Dan's now the sarcastic one.
Stuart's now the know it all and I am the boring guy. Um, excuse me. I'm adjusting my
glass. You can see that. Um, Ambrose beers. Let's just do this right, okay guys.
Wow, well I don't like this.
Let's switch back.
Okay, let's touch that magic skull in the middle table and get our personalities back.
Okay, we're back.
So no, it's actually a terrible looking movie, which is weird considering that it was shot
by Christopher Doyle, who is an amazing cinematographerographer works with Wang Kar-Y in a lot of movies
I didn't saw it in the mood for love especially. It's a beautiful movie
This is however a terrible looking movie and that's it like you wouldn't be easy with such such beautiful subjects like Mickey
Roots face Mickey Roots face Bill Murrows face
shitty sets a lot of green screens
I mean there's a lot of if you have anyone here anything a scene the room
where every time they go up on the roof it's green screen of the of the
San Francisco skyline
those greens screens are a little bit better than the one
movie
it's terrible green screen work
yeah this is this movie is a series of
unflattering
flatly lit close ups
in hotel rooms and empty stadiums and
empty restaurants empty theaters like a like a museum that's sort of
plainly mainly of Mickey's wife Mickey's works face gets a lot of screen time
mm-hmm and his beautiful chest and and his weird hairless round torso also gets
a fair amount of screenplay
And I this is a movie that was written 20 years ago with Mickey work in mind, I think at the time
So like you could 20 years ago you could buy Mickey work as like a down on his luck
But still sexually attractive jazz musician 20 years later. I mean he's got the world at his feet
I don't know.
Exactly where he was going with that. I mean, I'm a donus. Yeah. Now he is just the apex.
And certainly more of him now. Yeah. More than the love.
Ming Vun of Mickey Rourks physical appearance. Sorry. What do you think of his performance,
Dan? I mean, this is where Ellie and I differ.
I mean, like, he certainly was mumbling.
We can both, Ellie and I can both agree on that.
No, I mean, I assume that before every take,
he put a bag of marbles right now.
I think that he put in as good a performance
as he could with this material.
Yeah, do you assume the director's like,
the director's assuming that Mickey Rourke's gonna mumble.
You don't get Mickey Rourke and you're like,
hey, a non-seeing man, what's a good point. I think good point.
It's like a scorpion stop stinging me. You can't expect that.
Usually, I think that to make you work as crazy as a scorpion man movie was.
I thought you met the Mortal Kombat character. Because he doesn't sting you. He kills you with
Helper Cuts. Yeah. That's the sting of man. As crazy as this fucking movie was and as much as making work badmouth it afterwards, I felt like during like I watch him in the movie
I was like, okay, well he believes what he's doing is movies terrible, but he believes what he's doing
He does he doesn't sleepwalk through the role. That's true. And I thought that the mobile resembles his way through
But he believes in this stupid character. Bill Murray also put in the best performance he could under the circumstances.
And Megan Fox is not a good actress, but she is trying, I can tell, like she thinks she's
in something.
She does a pretty good job of imagining she has wings.
That's true, yeah.
I don't think that any of the actors are at fault for this movie, like this movie is fault
entirely of the right of direction.
It's not a very good story and it's poorly paced and very slow and there's a lot of scenes of
characters just kind of looking around or mumbling to each other. There's that weird moment
about 15 minutes into the movie or maybe 20 minutes into the movie where that female character
who's role I don't remember basically just recounts everything that has happened
up until that point.
Well, Kelly Lynch's character.
Yeah.
Who's Mickey Rourke's kind of confidant.
Yeah, and she figures into the movie, not at all.
There's no plot purpose for her.
She shows up later to wake him up from a heroin induced
super.
She's the help.
She's the Watson to Mickey Rourke's Sherlock,
who gets the story told to her, I guess,
and also her husband
wrote and directed the movie. So that's also why she's in it. But the will I had something
to say.
We can all agree that this is a story that needed to be told, right?
Certainly. Well, here's the thing. Here's what I was going to say. In any movie that's
attempting to reach a kind of sublime quality. The director or writer is taking a huge risk
because if it isn't balanced right,
it comes off looking stupid or ridiculous.
And like a movie that I've mentioned many times
on this podcast, the fall is a movie
that I think achieves that,
but takes a big risk in a certain naivete
that you need to achieve like that real sublime quality.
This movie does not achieve it,
and it falls flat on its face.
And I admire it feels like the writer director like put his soul into the movie and I admire that,
but he did such a crappy job of it and the story is so non-existent and boring that I still I wish that he had like
not done it. Yeah, I mean part he like the people making this movie take a big risk and fail utterly, you know.
Well, there's there's a he kind of expects you to care for the Mickey work
care to a lot more than, like, you're ever given the reason to do.
Making it just supposed to be like a charismatic rogue, but instead he is a
mumbly sack. But also as I was complaining during the movie, like, I think that
everything that the villain, play by boom worries, has his ballot. Like he explains to
Megan Fox like, oh yeah this guy traded your life for his and that's not wrong.
And but for some reason we're supposed to like make you work just because we've
been with him for the first part of the movie I guess. Like I or like just
because he's falling on love with Megan Fox and she's like
Yeah, you can fall in love with someone and still treat them like shit like that happens all the time
I mean of course you can get back. Yeah, she's making Fox and she's got wings. I mean come on
Mm-hmm. The other thing is that's amazing
One more one more do you want? I mean the only thing that make Megan Fox better would be if she had huge bird wings
Yeah, I'm maybe like a man one maybe like a bird's head. Or maybe if she's holding like a
giant pizza or something. I like to believe that any woman gets extra beautiful point from
Stewart if she's holding a giant pizza. Of course. You got a beautiful, beautiful pizza.
What if she had a pizza in one hand and like a beer in the other hand? Oh my god, Elliot, stop it.
Can't handle it. Okay. You get rid of the face. Since turning into like a beer in the other hand. Oh my god, Elliot, stop it. Okay, I'll handle it.
Okay, you get red in the face.
Since turning into like a Red shoe diaries type thing, right?
Well, there's something you mentioned
while we're watching the movie,
which is that this is what a Zomyn King production looks like
with no sex scenes in it.
And there's one sex scene between Mickey work
and Megan Foxx, which is horrifying.
But it feels like that.
It's the second worst sex scene featuring a feather I've ever seen.
And what was it first from me?
Well, 40 days and 49th for a Josh Hartnett makes
Channets awesome on climax,
by blowing a feather on her belly.
Mm-hmm.
It's just that easy.
It's just that easy to make a woman climax, okay?
She was taken for it.
But no, I can't play it.
I think that was.
She was played.
She was played. She was played. That was... She was... She was... She was playing A-Comport.
She was playing A-Comport.
That was...
She's A-Comport.
She's A-Comport.
That was...
I think the most trenchant criticism of this movie, because it is exactly like a movie
we'd see on Cinemax, Late at Night, with all the sex exides.
So it's got the same like...
Sexides.
Weird like...
Draggy, like...
You're one of the...
Sexides. Of cheap locations. Yeah, it's a lot of
scenes of characters doing something to get to the next scene or killing time
until the next scene starts. And in a software movie that would be a sex scene
but here it's not so you go to another scene of Mickey work lying around
mumbling to somebody or Bill Murray saying something kind of funny but or
somebody was trying to make a parody of a David Lynch movie
and just forgot to make it funny, that would be kind of what this would be.
It feels very much like someone who was trying for that David Lynch style of like
weirdness that affects you and doesn't didn't get it.
Like the freak show that just seems to be like a bunch of people doing stuff in a tent
and they let the people just walk around people and they like stuff in their heads.
It's like a freak like show expo for like the freak industry.
There's just a lot of platforms the freaks doing their stuff.
And then you have the other exhibitors just wandering around like, oh yeah, that's good.
What are they doing?
They take them laying here and say, what do they do with their bearded lady?
Oh, these new 12 freaks, you got to...
And like there's a raffle to win a freak, that kind of thing.
Okay, I was so freak.
No, no.
That's a freaky actual.
This is gonna be a digression, but I gotta take two to test for something.
Is this related to passion played?
Is the film of the same name?
No, it's not.
But if this podcast is about nothing,
if it's not about digressions and I recently saw the film cast break
Okay, that sounds sounds like you had a good afternoon. I had a client watching the early afternoon
That's a 2 p.m. Movie
The problem I have to have I'm gonna have the
Wait like a is that a thing that
That substitutes for a vagina
no you need a hot pocket and at two p.m. right
it's like a lunch time thing no i i
everyone has a hot pocket two p.m. is a
i mean that they can be a lunch thing i'm not saying you
you know i'm saying why do you think it's something gross i was talking about
because you're talking about it okay
so uh... we had a letter a while back about it was I think it was
titled Ding Dong Gate about letter from that. That's what brought down Richard Dixon.
No, it was complaining that there was in fact no ding dong ripping in
Castle Creek and I have to confirm this. Somebody framed by frame. The titular
the titular Castle Creek has no ding dong.
It's been ripped off at some point,
but that happens off screen.
That happens prior to the moon.
So you're saying all these years that stewards promising
somebody ripping their own ding dong off.
Now there is a scene, hold on.
There is a scene where the castle freak
bites off a prostitute's nipple.
So I imagine that in your mind, you conflated the biting off of the prostitute's nipple
and the missing ding dong of the castle freak into the castle freak ripping those ding dong.
This is like an absolute columbos.
Yeah, are you putting yourself into my mind?
Just one more thing, Stuart.
When I first saw castle freak two years ago, imagining that your drunk and stupid and probably
full of hormones or whatever I was,
really cool.
Yeah, I just ripped his own ding dong.
Yep, and or maybe one of my drunk or high buddies said that and I just went along with it.
So are you going to have to make some kind of letter of apology to all those dudes who
listen to my podcast and have managed to talk their friends and to watch a castle for
it.
On the base of the guy who's got ripped a ding dong on his friends are like, that sounds really awesome.
Well, I think that if you don't apologize to him, we have a potential class action suit
on our hands.
Oh, who?
A full moon picture.
A bunch of flopp house.
With all the money I spent on their fucking action figures.
No, no.
All those puppet master dolls that you bought.
All those flopp house listeners out there who have spent the money to rent Castle Freak
Based on the ding dong ripping castle free cat
The only way to see castle freak is to say castle free three times in a blind alley a tiny gnome appears
You see a real film you trade that in on a nightclub to a giant spider
The spider screws away gets a videotape you watch you watch theotape, then you get a phone call, tells you in a week there's gonna be a ghost girl in a location
TBD. You go there, you give her $10 in panties. She hits panties. Okay. But in a girl's panty.
She hits you twice on both sides of the face with a fish. And then you fall asleep and when you wake up,
you have a memory of having seen Castle Freight.
Because the only way to see it.
I mean, I got a Netflix, so I don't know what.
Maybe you didn't see the right version.
OK, you're probably right.
I thought I got it.
I didn't see the unrated version.
All right.
You have to see it at 2 p.m.
Yeah, I'm also the unrated version.
I looked up the unrated version on IMDB. There's no ding dong ripping in that.
That was one of the keywords not ding dong ripped.
I'm the trivia said. Stuart Wellington falsely claims there's a ding dong ripped off.
Do not believe. Star Jeffrey combs disagrees.
All right, well to get back to the movie.
So passionfully. So anyway, I guess viewers,'re gonna have to watch castle freak yourself and the unrated version to see who's right?
The side for yourself in the battle of the cast Stewart or Dan are you cool like Stewart or like a grouchy dude like Dan?
Stewart will attend the rage and cation and Dan McCoy the Blant Band
Together again for one show more with the grouchy part, but I'm not with the blan.
Slouchy grouch? Slouchy grouch, I'll take it.
So passion play.
So passion play.
There's not a lot to say about it except that it's great.
There's that great moment where Reese is playing.
It's Reese.
It's Reza.
The Reza fans.
Okay, where he pulls his big hand over his wrist.
It's a ring before slapping it right out of his hand.
That was pretty great.
There's a...
This is a movie where no lie.
This is a movie about a woman with wings and a gangster tracking down a jazz musician.
The best part of the movie, the best thing about it is that at one point there's a glimpse
of a bottle of liquor and the label says Gordon Shumways.
That it...
And it feels you don't remember Gordon Sh me his else real name. So this is
a well from the television show
All right to the people were what was in this
But I really fast so I just want to clarify the alien
The alien life
I'm showing way you met at me. I thought you met a damn both
I'm mad both of you right now so So while this- You're just mad at the ding dong ripping me every after.
I'm really mad at you.
While this dumb story about a woman with wings is going on,
Alf is running a distillery somewhere in that universe.
And we are not seeing that story.
So you think that's small batch gin?
Like you think that's craft gin that's-
I don't know, it started that way,
but I think it got way big.
He's long sold out, and he's just making mass produced gin.
And we haven't heard a lot from Alf recently.
He's probably- Well, we had that talk show for a little bit.
That's true.
I don't know how long ago that was.
And you may be, I'd say he went back to Melmack,
but everyone knows that was destroyed.
He's kind of like a Dan Ackwood figure.
He's mainly in booze now.
And he keeps promising Ghostbusters 3.
It's for you, which Esther said during the movie.
Bill Murray is not going to make Ghostbusters 3.
He's going to make this film.
He's going to make Passion Play.
I'll tell you what.
If you make...
Everything in Ghostbusters rent Passion Play and get really mad about it.
If making Passion Play stops Ashton Kutcher from becoming a Ghostbuster, then I'm all
for it.
Well, Ashton Kutcher is going to be a Ghostbuster.
After they...
I've been right and kept saying like, oh yeah, we want, it's gonna be a-
Like ghost buster, kids?
A new generation of ghost busters,
like Ashton Kuchner and I don't know how to blow up.
I'm saying that.
That's my brain.
Seth Green.
Every time you say it,
here's a problem with this movie.
Okay.
You're talking about me.
Because this is not like an ex-generation of goonies.
Like, there's two new, the next generation of goonies like There's two new the next generation of the other
Goonies to me and do do it like goonies kids. Mm-hmm goonies junior
Oh, that was the thing like the goonies
The goonies were supposed to have grown up and then their kids with the next generation of good and when was this gonna happen?
I don't know
They they were talking about it with movie. Cast up like a two. Yeah. The characters have grown up now
the kids are in trouble with the Nazis. Well, I don't know.
Shinlers list two. The characters have grown up and now the kids are in trouble with the Nazis.
You might want to look into when the Nazis happened and like, I don't think so.
I think it can be space Nazis. Von Ryan's expressed too. Von Ryan's an old man.
Now his kids are in trouble with the Nazis.
Sure.
Hogan's heroes.
So we should be too.
Let's just let L.A. keep naming them.
Let's say there are a lot of movies with Nazis as the villains.
No, you're talking about a movie that seeks transcendence.
Part of the problem with this movie is like,
all the transcendence at seeking is dependent on the ending
of the film. But the ending of the film, but the ending of
the film is like a shitty twist.
Like for...
That's a twist when she can't fly.
No, no, no, that he's been dead.
He's been dead all the time.
If all of them are waiting for the film is waited on...
Wait a minute.
Uh oh.
Uh oh.
I feel a mirror is coming on.
It's happening in your game.
Wait, he was dead.
That's why they see his body at the end and they fly away
I thought that was just like a weird shot like he was tired after after phone around
So he was resting himself
So wait, that's why I had such a weird look on this face when she was flying him around
Because he realized he was dead and he was about to go to heaven
Okay, wait really?
Yeah, or...
So how'd he die?
He was shot
At the beginning he moved me So wait, that ninjas in the... So, how'd he die? He was shot. At the beginning of the movie.
So, with that, Ninjas and the...
He wasn't saved by the Ninja engines.
So, the Ninja engines failed to save him.
Wait.
Okay, so he's done the whole time.
He was dead from the moment that guy brought him to the desert and was about to shoot him.
So, who saved the girl with the wings for the first time?
She never existed.
The wings.
Okay, I mean, she might be an angel, angel. We forgot to mention the scene where Megan Fox
goes through plastic surgery to get her wings removed. And the guy looks like Roger Sterling. He's
like a four man's Roger Sterling and Mickey Rook comes in and says, don't do this and takes her out.
And he's like, she can't live a normal life with wings like this, which is what any doctor would say.
And Mickey Rook says, so it's so good about normal.
Mm-hmm.
Moral, which is...
Yeah, we end up pause the movie and look at each other and agree with it.
Let it sink in, yeah.
Oh, not since Lucas, have I been hit so hard with that last one?
It was like, you know, X-X3, the last day of their...
What's their next movie?
I don't know.
That ain't going to...
Yeah, the little one.
Someone with wings. Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, but like to fray so much meaning on what is essentially a stupid, it was all a dream.
Well, but also along the way, like I think you're supposed to find the imagery of the woman with wings.
Beautiful. You're supposed to find their love story touching, like you're supposed to be inspired by the end when she proves she can fly like along the way you're supposed to be getting little epiphany,
except they're all they all fall totally flat. So wait, if it was like a purgatory type thing,
what would he really accomplish? Like he didn't really do that much other than like take a
weird check with tattoos home and get stuck with a heroin needle. Oh, we didn't mention that. You saved T-Same. As part of the circus, the circus ring leaders revenge
is that he has a girl seduce.
A seduce Mickey Rorke.
You should have known something was wrong right away.
And she gets him hooked on the junk again.
By the way, there's a...
Yeah, how do you seduce this lady?
Well, Mickey Rorke walks into a bar.
Stop leaving for this one.
Mickey Rorke walks into a bar and sees a lady at the other end and takes lemons out of a basket
because this is one of those bars where lemons are provided in the basket.
You can make your own garnish.
And puts a lemon under a napkin and then just kind of rolls it over to her as if it's a tiny car
or like there's a little mouse under me like I just made a mouse.
You put a napkin on a lemon.
It seems at first like he's going to do a magic trick.
He's like, Tricky's like, here's the lemon and putting it on the bar. I'm putting a napkin on it lemon. It seems at first like he's gonna do a magic trip He's like he's like here's the limit and putting it on the bar putting a napkin. It's gonna disappear
He just knows it's it towards it and she almost falls off at one point
He has to like reset it in the middle of the moon and she is delighted by
Of course it's because she was sent there to seduce him and get him heroin up but
Once again, it should have been assigned
to the audience at this set of set up.
Yeah, the men.
It's no woman fault for that.
I'll try it.
I'll try it.
I'll try it.
I'll try it.
It doesn't work.
They just get up and walk away.
I mean, I think that's mainly because it was put in the secret.
And now all the ladies know.
You mean the game.
Wait, the game.
The secret is about wishing the secret.
We put in the secret. That book about wishing your way in women's pants right
the game the secret garden I think that's what that's called so I think this
movie I think to be summed up in two scenes three scenes three scenes
can sum this movie up one is Megan Fox poorly CGIed bird wings in front of a poorly green
screened vista. Two is Mickey Rourke, attracting woman by nudging a lemon under an African
across a bar. And the third is Mickey Rourke meeting with Bill Murray in a restaurant. And
then there's just a gratuitous shot of Mickey Rourke getting up out of the booth that they're
in. And it is not a flattering shot. Have you ever seen an old lady trying to get out of a car that she parked?
And it takes her a minute and she has to kind of brace her arm against the side of the car.
It takes her about three tries to get her leg out all the way.
That's a little bit what it's like, but it's Mickey Rourke, the hero of the movie.
Just like how is he going to defeat the Murray? He can barely defeat this booth.
He can barely defeat a table.
defeat the Murray he can barely defeat this move you can barely defeat a table you know like who's the who's the the set Joker who's the guy who set up the
set to so it looks like that's another set Batman's villain the set Joker so tell me I
hear you're a real Batman on the set I mean you did a lot of pranks but there's
yeah there's this movie the character nothing is I mean
characters aren't welcome it's moving. It's not like you as a network. It's it's
supposed to be kind of unbelievable because it's supposed to be dreamlike but
nothing the characters do is also unbelievable. Fantastic. McGorrick. Mickey
Rourke who looks like I mean we've already said enough of his appearance but he
looks like a monster. Talks his way into Megan Fox's trailer. And then
it's just like characters being doing things that like it's hard you know that scene doesn't
make sense. You don't believe it. You don't believe they have a relationship. You don't believe it.
Well, the first conversation with the the carny ringmaster guy where the ringmasters like
who like where can she go? Who would like who would take her in like everyone would take her in.
She's a beautiful girl and winged. She'll be fine. Like people think she's an angel or something. Yeah, she could
start her own a super famous. Yeah. It's a movie that is, you know, not it. There's a lot of
things going on that you can't buy. And I like to pile up too much on it. And he has the idea that
he's going to trade like trade this girl for his life. Like, one of them's gonna just go to a different city. He'd be fine.
It'd be fine.
You can play as trumpet or jazz trumpet.
There's that great scene where ASSL is jazz trumpet.
I'm guessing on Craigslist.
And it takes him about 20 minutes of touching
the trumpet case before he eventually gives it up.
But he takes the mouthpiece.
Yeah.
Because I guess he doesn't.
He blows wispfully into.
He doesn't want the new owner to get his herpyy I guess. By the way, single herpey.
It is a tiny chrysum but the least, uh, can-
Is that Lena Dunham movie tiny chrysum?
This is the least convincing fake trumpet playing from the
hero. Is the scenery plays trumpet? Can you play it for a
second box to a fake trumpet player? Let's say, I know what it
looks like when someone plays trumpet. There's a lot a lot of eyebrow movement right?
No, a lot of hell.
He did it. Your gums start just bleeding.
There's no like you watch someone who plays a trumpet. They're puffing their cheeks out like crazy.
I mean you see pictures of Louis Armstrong. He might as well be a bullfrog with a amount of like cheek
Action that goes on. There's a limit to how much Mickey
works. You work. Don't move at all. I think they're in K-Wlick. There's not a lot of
slack in this. He's a whistless. He thinks you've played like a playke-zoo. Yeah.
But here's that that's also a scene that's problematic. Mickey work walks into the hotel
room. He's, he's chairman Megan Fox and he says, put on your best dress. We're going out. Mickeywork walks into the hotel room in St. St. St. St. St. St.
St. St.
St.
St.
St. St.
St.
St. St.
St.
St. St.
St. St.
St.
St.
St.
St. St.
St. St.
St. St.
St. St.
St. St.
St. St.
St. St. St.
St. St. St.
St. St. St. St. St. St. St. really nice dress. She does have a really nice dress.
And Mickeywork takes her to an empty theater.
How we got there, who he knows, and you know, to set it up.
No, you never know.
I love Elliot.
And yeah, it is a curious thing.
Make one man week.
Make one man week and make another man get into an empty theater at night.
He sets up two chairs.
So I guess he has a set of keys.
He sets up two chairs on the stage,
and they look at a painted backdrop of the ocean
because of or a shoreline,
because earlier she's never said she's never seen the ocean.
And they just kind of sit there for a while,
and then he takes out his trumpet and plays it.
And do they dance?
Like that's kind of...
No, the camera just spins around them for a long time.
Much longer than you think a camera spin would last.
But it's this whole scene, every next step in the scene, you're like,
wait, what? Is this really where we're going with this? Come on.
Movie. Okay.
Am I not new? It's going to be a lot of your pamphlet.
And then you get your assaults.
You got to know, when he managed to bag that bird.
Maybe we're getting back that
bird. That's the sink. That's
the porn sequel to follow that
bird. Sesame Street movie.
That's one where what big bird has
sex is somebody with everybody
not just somebody.
You title it title now I'm like
catch that kid. Our previous
let me go try to catch that kid
last episode movie.
Sure.
So, back in the bird.
So, we did get a sex scene.
We did get a sex scene.
There was, you know, some kissing.
And a sex scene.
A sex scene.
Yep, where the wires bunny Colvin plays a saxophone.
Yep, and a succ scene.
The whole movie.
Mm-hmm.
Good one.
But yeah, he meets up with the wire sexual player in a laundromat and
they just kind of talk for a while. What are you talking about disabled?
Okay, well let's move on to final judgments. You win movie. You got a good bad movie, a bad bad movie.
You're a movie channel like to tease this one. This is clearly a bad bad movie. I mean, I think there's elements of it that are almost good bad enough.
And you know what, if you're going to watch, if you and your buddies want to watch a shitty
movie and you've already seen the room, you've already seen troll too, and you want another
shitty movie, hey, pop this one in, you'll probably be delighted.
So I don't know.
It's very dull.
I'd say get ridemic.
But. Okay. So, Elliot says watch brudemic? Yeah.
That's a bad bad for you, Elliot. I would also say a bad bad bad. I would say it's
while I admire the ambition of the people behind it,
I do not admire the incompetent
execution and also the concept is bad. So fat bad movie.
It's not fun or entertaining in any way to sit there.
I'm gonna go out on the limb give it a marginal good bad. Kind of what I just did. Yeah, yeah, it's because we're open about it.
It's so weird and there's so much miscalculation. I mean it is a little too dull to be a classic good bad movie. There's not, there's not that like, wait, what?
Like every second that like a good good bad movie.
Yeah, it's more like there is one scene like that.
Where Mickey work is on the phone and then suddenly he's just ringed with smoke
as he's smoking a cigarette.
I don't think we saw him light.
But I mean, like this is that kind of dramatic failure that I feel you don't see in movies as much as...
It's an intriguing bad movie, I like that.
Yeah, they were trying for something. It didn't happen.
They look, Megan Fox learned to soar at the end, but unfortunately passion play fell
the ground. But we learned to snore at the end.
Alright, well, I'm in for a vote for it. I went for a vote for it, and you went for
the... for it, and I of a Jean-Charlie prime.
So I guess hi, Raul Lo-Brow.
That's what you get on the flop house.
So I'm in.
We range from the heights of poetic access
to the lows of Bermeshave Jinglewriting.
Okay.
So what we have to do.
What's our next segment?
So we finished the talk about the movie phase. Now we move into what full phase? What part of the human centerpiece is this?
Yes, this is full sequence.
Full sequence. Oh, yes, sequence, not phase.
This is the moment where we read letters from people that tell us how great we are and then we agree with them and make fun of each other a little bit at the same time. A little bit, and sometimes they ask us questions about movie stuff and we answer it.
And sometimes I sing a song like this.
Letters from the flop house? No, no, no. Letters to the flop house. There you go.
That's what we're gonna read. That's what we're gonna talk about. Letters to the flop house from you and you and you and you.
Letters to the flop house from you and you and you and him. Letters to the flop house from you and you and you and him letters to the flop house from you What about me and you so now they just turned their podcast off mute?
Are you kidding?
Can you do that?
Someone literally just held their podcast player up to the phone and said you know that new sound you've been looking for
Well here it is
Before you get into letters that's one of my more control songs. Yeah, it was tight comparatively.
Before we get into letters, I want to thank P. Bracken and B. Skinner for donations.
B. Skinner, the famed psychologist.
I can only assume.
And I want to acknowledge also that on the website thanks to both of those people we appreciate it in the comments section
Someone pointed out that
Well made a mistake the character from Ghostbusters 2 was not named Milo's his name was of course
Janosh
How do we get that one wrong?
It's a shameful. It's a shameful day when we get a Ghostbusters 2
Oh my god, yeah, but
Just give up you know, Let's throw in the towel
Because I'm just wearing a towel right now
This letter is from Steve last name with hell and he says dear's flop house
I was intrigued as Stuart was as to how far you can stretch a naming convention like one for the money
Apparently quite far. Oh, yeah, although terrible plum ponds were used as filler. And he sent
a link to a list of one for the money. Janet, Janet of Onovich. Janet of Onovich books.
I'll read it. I'm going to run these down. I'm going to run it out.
Not allowed. Of course. Unbaudible. Yeah. We got one for the money, two for the doe,
three to get deadly. Car like that one. score what high five hot six seven up hard eight
Visions of sugar plums wait what that's that hold on visions of sugar plums
parentheses between the numbers holiday novella to the nines
10 big ones 11 on top top, I don't know what that is.
12 on the bottom, 12 sharp.
Right, the 13th.
No, it's just just naming things.
Let's move on.
Plum Lovin again, between the numbers, holidays, novella.
Lean mean 13, plum lucky.
Really gonna go through all these numbers.
Between the numbers, holiday, not novella.
So this is not, it was 14. Plum lucky. We're really gonna go through. Between the numbers. Oh, they're not in the Bella.
See, this is not.
It was 14.
That's not even a plot or a phrase or anything.
Plum is spooky. Between the numbers now.
Finger-lift in 15. I don't know.
Finger-lift in 15. That's another way of saying,
St. Quentin quail, you know, like a young girl.
Sizzling 16. That's another way of saying that.
Smoke in 17. Again, yes.
Explosive 18. Oh yeah, that's just good slides again for a little while. Yeah.
2019. No. 2020 and 2021 again. He says you should all consider yourself fortunate
that a bad bad movie might take two to three hours from your usual life.
Instead of the significantly more time the bad book does. Keep up the excellent look,
or the, sorry, the excellent work.
Thank you.
The laugh out loud laughter you provide
is worth the angry glare.
I get on London's tube.
If this gets read on the podcast,
I look forward to the opportunity that this will give
Elliot to put on a British accent.
What accent would that be?
That's Daniel Craig.
Well, hello, Daniel Craig is here with me, generic British man.
Well, I suppose I'll get on the lorry and drive to my flat
and put on my braces.
Fish and chips, of course.
The Queen Parliament, Big Ben Thames,
Mary old England, and so forth.
What's all this then?
Because I would say, or a return of dance,
eerily perfect Michael Cain.
You'll be happy to know that they're
at least two British flop house fans.
And that's from Steve Lassman with the
Cain Spellers at a time.
Steve and Kloi-Vo in Ovea.
Kloi-Vo and Adina Craig stand a lot of life.
I know, it's weird, right?
How they just look.
James Mason is here as well.
And also the Joseph A. Banks guy.
Mr. Captain, please.
Games must we?
Oh, Kaelin, my grandfather changed it to Kaelin
in the early 50s.
Oh, he's here.
Oh, he's here.
Well, the old Englishman is here as well.
I wish I had known Steve as a flop house fan when I was in England not too about a month ago.
We looked him up.
Maybe next time.
Paul, thanks for listening.
Appreciate it.
I always like it when we have international listeners, but I like it when we have American listeners too.
So this next...
Not a joke.
Don't know, in there, I like that.
You know what? I like all of them.
I apologize to this next writer.
I appear to have cut off his name.
So I don't know who this is.
Oh, I also want to mention of those Stephanie Plum,
Janet of Onvich novels.
I probably have bought two thirds of them
for my mother as birthday presents at one point or another.
Is she going to listen to this podcast and be obsessed?
No, she doesn't.
She doesn't listen to this.
Wait, your mom doesn't listen to this every week?
No. We're going to put it out every week. Oh, he doesn't listen to this. Wait your mom doesn't listen to this every week? No.
We're gonna put it out every week.
Oh, she listens to the episode a second time.
I mean, my parents listen to this podcast,
which disturbed me greatly.
Yeah, but disturbed me too.
Is it a parents weirdo?
What?
Boaters?
So, again, I apologize to the writer,
this next letter. letter no I was saying
this is an Elliott cut me off I apologize for not having the name attached
to this email so I just assumed Dan wrote it himself yeah it says hey
floppy doodah's Q Elliott singing every now and then. They do duh, what the day, I know my world, what the fuck the day, what the day, what the
day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day,
what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day,
what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day,
what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day,
what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day,
what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what
the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what
the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the day, what the cyberspace. So today was Christmas come early when I found the trailer for Alex Cross.
The phrase best movie in history of everything is thrown out a lot.
But the trailer for Alex Cross.
I can't say I've ever heard that.
It shows this to be an apropos phrase for the stunning masterpiece.
Let's count the reasons for genius.
Number one, Tyler Perry is an action cop, serial killer hunter, FBI profiler, or something.
If you didn't read that right, this is the famous cross-dresser Tyler Perry, Q house cat.
Wow!
Number two, Jack.
This guy really has this wrapped around his finger.
Number two, Jacked up, shaped head MMA fighting albino over and unsating ex-military serial killer,
played by Matthew Fox from the great and should
have been flop cast in Speedracer. Number three, verbal cliches thrown around like an early 90s thriller.
It's got to be two to three guys to pull this off. No, it's one guy. I'm fascinated by pain.
He's X-military judging by his tactics. Did someone write in just with the review of the
Alex Frost trailer? What does it have to do with us?
What's the way to pay? What's the world is separate? I think this is viral marketing to the
S-Files movie number number four visual Creek cliches thrown around like
Sailor lastly with a film thrown around but like CSI
Visual cliches thrown around but like CSSA Miami candy
Zero
serial killer like CSA Miami Candy. Serial killer, pasting a newspaper clipping to a mirror,
running down a dark tunnel, wife and peril,
daughter, slow-mo piano playing,
rocket launcher blowing up government trucks.
I don't know what you're saying.
This is just the e-combing spone now.
Number five, this catchphrase,
don't ever cross Alex Cross.
Number six, Flappa's Fave Eddie Burns. Number seven,
and lastly, Scoobagear. I think my head might explode. Wasn't that that dog
that self-crimes underwater? Scoobagear? Yeah. So he says enjoy in my
recommendation for a Flophouse theater excursion. Okay, well thanks the producers
of Alex Cross for advertising on our podcast. I guess a legitimate, what's illegitimate about that is, I mean, they're talking about a trailer that looks crazy.
You know, but should have, yeah, you're right.
Okay.
Is that, I thought this was the podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.
Not the, right to listen about your favorite trailers, but guess, no offense, no name with health.
It's just that.
I appreciate you writing in.
Now I feel better about cutting this guy's name off. Valle going to rip him a new one. Oh yeah, tore him a whole
new one. Yeah, a whole new thing. Yeah, it doesn't have to buy one because Ellie just ripped
him one. Why would you buy one? Wait, wait, what's certainly talking about? Ellie's handing him out.
Yeah, that's a new thing. You're right. I'm giving these things away for free when I can be charging.
All right. So, well, if you didn't like that, here's a much more concise letter. I'm not saying I didn't like it.
I'm just questioning the appropriate mis. It's about a bad movie, theoretically.
So, this is from...
Chokes on you guys, because that Alex Cross movie is going to be awesome.
This is from someone called Collision.
That's okay. It might be an insurance company.
It's titled Lower Rates for Your Auto Insurance.
I think you print it off the wrong email.
Dear Flop House, Mr. House.
Are you looking for lower rates for your auto insurance?
Okay.
It's titled Flop House Found in the Booneys.
My girlfriend and I went camping less
we sent out of the middle of nowhere in the El Dorado National Forest
stopping for gas, slash food, slash world-class shitty cup of coffee at the
checkout counter we encountered a quick pile of 3 DVDs, this Verado on top, then
vantage point, then 12 rounds.
So I'm not quite sure why you're getting your movies from a truck stop way
the hell out in the middle of California. And I look forward to you handling
Desparado. And oh my god, you're selling your DVD set store and I must know why.
So why are you desperate to send flappers in the elder
Alderado National Forest? Why? I think a real question is why people don't write more letters that are hard for day-to-pronounce.
Yeah, I like them.
Well, I think he's found our secret movie source,
which is the cafe at the Eldorado National Forest.
It's not expensive to fly out there every couple weeks,
and then keeping the DVDs and some kind of a freezer tank
Yeah, pressure
Pressurized tanks so they don't get ruined
So that they survived the trip. Yeah
I'm so much sure that that's an expenditure. We really need to I brought the numbers
It's the only way to do it most of the time we're on a motorbike
So and that doesn't use that much gas right? Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah the double side cars of course double side cars is of course yeah a
double side car no no not a devil side car a double side car attached to a
double-sided tape now you would imagine that that would be a side car on each
side of the motorcycle no no no no one of the side cars has its own side car
any side car I sit in that one Stewart sits in the big side car and Dan
actually sits in a side car on top of the Many sidecar. I sit in that one, Stewart sits in the big sidecar and Dan actually sits in a sidecar
on top of the motorcycle.
Yeah, because if I was in charge of the driving then...
The motorcycle drives itself, it's magic.
Yeah, and speaks for the motorcycle.
It's a Robo cycle.
It's a Brooklyn Magic, Brooklyn Robo cycle.
So, there, where you are, where you guys going today.
Just take us to El Dorado, Baiky.
Aww, I want to see some other national parks.
You shut up, you take us there.
You've got to be taken for a man with these robes.
They will roll over you.
Oh yeah, with their side cars and everything.
Sure.
Anyway, this last letter is titled Purpose Related.
Wow, letter of night.
Only one more letter.
Let's do it right. one last letter to make it last
Don't go fast last one tonight last letter
Damn you have the floor it's titled I
The problem of your songs is you sing, I take a drink.
I don't know when your songs get in.
Hey, I don't know when the song is going to end.
It's a song tells me.
Oh, I'm having a dude.
Yeah, we want people to imagine that LA is practicing this shit with us.
Yeah, with a full orchestra.
So this last email is titled Purvisoid Number 2 from Stephen Last Name.
Oh, someone attempting to gain the throne. Purvisoid number two.
Well, listen, you'll learn.
Wouldn't that be your long lost son?
Stephen last name with hell says,
Dearest Floppers in the House cat.
A couple weeks ago, I was recommended
that I listen to your podcast.
And the time since I've been working my way
through the archives,
at least working my way through the archives,
at least every episode with Elliot.
I find absence without him to be intolerable because just as Dan is the essential boring Leonardo
or Cyclops, Elliot brings the rogue element of a Raphael or a gambit and I guess Stuart
is Donatello or Forge, I don't know.
Now that does make any sense.
Anyway, I'm always working on the Blackbird.
You are always working on the Blackbird or fighting the adversary. Anyway, I'm always working on the blackbird. You are always working on the blackbird or fighting the adversary.
Anyway, I was wondering why-
Did you ill-defined Indian powers?
It says, anyway, I was wondering why Dan is often referred to as Purvisoid number one.
When it seems clear that Stuart is the purr-
Yes, Flopper.
I'm right another fucking email.
Maybe I haven't heard the specific episode yet where all this becomes clear.
But this mystery has eluded me so far.
Keep on floppin', Stephen last name with us.
Oh man, I think I got a fucking enemy over here. Stuart is so open with his sexuality that it's-
I'm too mad right now.
It's almost about it.
That was a very calm from modern family type of line.
But Stuart is so open with his sexuality and so innocent that it's something adorable about it.
I'm saying I'm not open, man.
It's like when a baby, when it's like when a three year old grabs a woman's boop.
How can you get mad? It's adorable. Dan, on the other hand, is- It's like an 80 year, when it's like when a three-year-old grabs a woman's boob like how can you get mad? It's adorable Dan on the other hand is like an 80-year-old man grabbing one. I do it. It's like Rodney Dangerfield saying something something
Something else. Exactly, but with Dan it's like if there's a guy in a suit with a briefcase
Who's just on the subway and then suddenly he just turned to woman and was like tits and then turned away
Creepy super creepy. I don't mean something's briefcase and it's filled with like, what I'm hearing.
What I'm hearing.
You know his phone book size, please.
All I'm hearing is that I'm being punished for being an upstanding member of society
most of the time.
And then I let you guys in.
I let my hair down.
I have a moment of honesty.
It's almost that I'm slapped down.
I'm slapped down by you assholes.
That's what I'm here.
So no, you're mad. Yeah, why is everyone mad all of a sudden?
Because of these letters. These letters are tearing. It's the part guys. Guys, okay.
Fans are getting in between us. Let's not let these letters destroy us. Okay. You can both be perv as a number one.
I let it's just excited right now because nobody's calling him out. I actually
I have a revelation to make to both of you.
What's that?
The fact is, the reason I know that Dan is Purvisoid number one is because I am Purvisoid number two.
Oh my god.
I am the second in the Purvisoid sequence.
I'm just better at hiding at the Dan and far less creepy.
See, clever listeners of this episode will realize that not LA its family doesn't listen to this podcast.
Nor does his wife.
So he is okay to say whatever he wants.
Listen to the clues in previous episodes.
You'll see I'm also attracted to women's boobs.
And I'm just as perverted as Stuart and Dan.
But instead I talk about old movies as a way of not revealing it.
Magic-Curray the secret for the revealed guys.
Yeah, that was Magic's greatest
secret. Oh, Deenie is turning in his grave now that I revealed that one. All right.
Well, you did cool pen and teller. You're revealing magic. You were late to the podcast
tonight because you had to fumble some dildos for the show that we worked on. That was
for my day job. I was being paid to do that. I was being paid to touch Dildos on television.
He can control himself. He can wait to touch Dildos at home until he doesn't
impede in his podcast. It's like David Cross's old stand-up joke about how they saw porn at the
airport and how he can wait till he gets home to masturbate. He doesn't need to do it on a plane.
I feel like Stuart would do it on a plane, but in a way that he would be like, that's adorable.
Dan would do it on a plane under a blanket and everyone would be like, oh, what is he doing?
Whereas I would wait till I got home, close the door and then, I would pray.
I would come out of the bathroom and announce that I just made it to the mile high club,
and started giving out high thoughts.
Exactly. With soil paper, cruelly off your sneaker, and just holding a playboy with the centerfold hanging open in your other hand. I mean we like love is the original party animal.
And meanwhile Dan is furtively just like glancing at the person sitting next to him while he was having a blind.
Why don't you move your bug on his leg?
Why don't they love me?
Why don't they love me like they love him?
Well, and I'm just sitting there going give me off this plane.
I love hands. Well, and I'm just sitting there going,
give me off this plane.
Okay.
Well, we've somehow managed to talk about passion play
for a long time, so we should speedily.
We must have been passionate about it guys.
Yeah, we should.
High five that one.
I hope you heard that high five.
We should speedily give our recommendations for movies
that we actually like and think people should go out
and watch.
You'll watch them now. Okay, I'm gonna start. I'm gonna recommend a little movie called Castle
Freak. No, no, no, no. I know. You saw it's a great movie. He's in a scene where a guy
is missing. He's a freak. So it's cool. He just rips it right off. Like it was there for a second
and all of a sudden it's gone.
Ripped off.
OK, Dan, your future.
I want you to bring that up to 99 castle freak recommendations.
At 100, you get a free castle freak.
I watch the movie.
And I can rip off his ding dong, too.
I watch the movie just two nights ago.
It's on Netflix Watch Instance, so it's
available for all of you people out there having Netflix and eyes. Yeah, well I am reviewing the instrument. Yeah, streaming. But I
watched what we call dead end drive-in and this is a dead end drive-in. Dead end drive-in.
Yeah, this is an Aussie film from the early 80s. It was actually featured briefly in that
awe-sploitation documentary, not probably would.
The guy who directed it, the most famous film he directed
was BMX Bandits.
But I looked up on IMDB, the editor of this movie
actually went on to edit a lot of famous movies,
including Christopher Wohl and last five movies, dark night rises, obviously included in that bunch.
And it's a movie about, it's a post-apocalyptic movie about this sort of car culture.
It's a bit of a mad, post-Mad Max like Makoff and that it's car-centered, although not
as much, there's not as much like chase scenes in it, but it's about how the government has found a way to get rid of undesirables
by turning this drive-in into a weird internment camp, like these car punks go into this drive-in
and then they get locked in and they've got no way to get out.
And so they have to live in this prison and the main character needs to figure out a way to break out of this drive-in.
And it's actually really beautifully shot. If you like 1980s style post-apocalyptic films, it's...
That's all in niche, but that's okay.
If you listen to this podcast, you probably don't.
It's a... It might be a little niche, but it hits all, it hit all
my sweet spots. It's a beautiful looking movie. It's got like weird, and if you love,
if you love drive-ins, it's got great loving shots of weird like neon drive-in and like
people just hanging out in this half party, half prison.
And it's a really fun movie.
So that's my recommendation.
I am going to recommend very quickly a movie called Blast of Silence,
which is available on the Criterion Collection on Digital Video Disc.
And it is a low budget film noir crime thriller from the very early 60s, late 50s.
I think it's around 6061, about a man
who is a killer for hire, who goes to New York City on a job and has some trouble accomplishing
the job that has to go through with it, but he doesn't really want to, and he wants more
out of life and realizes he can't have it, it's passed him by.
It's a really short, but brisk thriller that...
Short but brisk? Well, you know, passion play was short, but deadlyisk thriller that would work. Short but brisk?
Well, you know, passion play was short, but deadly long and boring.
But it moves quickly.
It's sapt every ounce of will to live from us.
And one of these movies that was shot on location with a small budget, so there's a lot
of great shots of what New York looked like around that time period.
And there's a voiceover going through it that is equal parts kind of great film noir
philosophizing and purple prose nonsense and is really fantastic.
So I recommend that is a real nice bleak noir movie that you may not have seen.
Blast of silence.
Yeah.
So three for Castle Freed.
No.
That was passion black eyes. Alright, we're done. We did it. Yeah. Let us for Castle Freed. No. Yep. That was Passion Black Eyes.
All right, we're done.
We did it.
Yeah.
Let us add in this private.
All right.
So for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy.
I've been steward Wellington.
And let me check.
Elliot Kaelin, that's me.
Why don't know why you reached your pants to figure that out?
That's right, I hadn't written.
Okay.
Yeah, good night't written. Okay. Yeah, good night everyone.
Boom!
Damn it.
Strayo makes me laugh when I listen to it and down is too. And Ellie you're the best. Thanks Ellie.
Who?
Ellie.
Right or not? I'm not familiar.
I'm not the evil version of you.
Ellie is?
No.
He's got to go T.
Or the smelly version of me smelly it.
More than what is jelly.
Jelly it.
Ellie it.
The belly it's Kayla and she called her something.
And they call it someone's because I was making it up as I went along.
The belly is Kayla and she called her son.
And they called her son once because I was making it up as I went along.