The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #123 - That's My Boy
Episode Date: April 6, 2013Boy-wise, whose would you say that is? 0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 36:29 - Samberg and Sandler. Together alphabetically, now together in real life.36:30 - 42:12 - Final judgments.42:13... - 44:43 - Some housekeeping and plugs.44:44 - 59:55 - Flop House Movie Mailbag59:56 - 1:05:02 - The sad bastards recommend.1:05:03- 1:06:30 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
In this episode we discuss the statutory rapiest comedy since Jiji. That's my boy. Hey everyone and welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy.
I'm Stuart Wellington.
And I'm Elliot Kaelin, the first.
Good job Stu.
You did it.
You said your name at the right time.
You didn't think Dan was talking to you and then go, hey Dan. Good jobs, too. You did it. Yeah, you said your name at the right time. Okay. So let's
you didn't think Dan was talking to you and then go, hey, Dan, let's wrap it up.
This is no, this has been the fluff house. I'm Ellie Kaelin. I'm just wondering if there's newfound
profession. I'm steward Wellington. No, no, no. I was wondering if this newfound professionalism was
because this is the first time we're recording since entertainment weekly. You're ruining it.
Put us on their must list.
Their must list for the most.
Mustiest people in America.
Smell that damn smell.
It's like we live in a swamp or a combination.
You've been working on that one since the most.
Has been working on that one since you saw the posting
or the most you're working on it.
So much as it's just, you know,
is the kind of refining it
It's the kind of flash flash lightning brilliance that you tune into the vlog house for but I do want to recommend
I want to remind rather subscribers to entertainment weekly that by subscribing
They're entering into a legal contract with entertainment weekly that anything that they say that you must consume you must
They have to and also that they should keep writing EnterCame Weekly saying, hey, more flop house coverage,
please.
We love these guys.
It's so long with those guys.
Maybe a cover.
But it's so.
Maybe with Stuart in his text speedo.
Yeah, I'll do it.
By the time this is put up, it's been.
Me and the cast of Grey's Anatomy,
they're in their doctor's scrubs.
And me and my text speedo.
Why would you be there with Grey's Anatomy?
Because they're all reunion. Remember when? and me and my text. Why would you be there with Gray's Anatomy? That's a muscle history union.
Yeah.
You and the day you and Bates Motel and Gray's Anatomy.
Remember when?
It's a crossover.
Start demanding, like handsome Dr. Stewart is coming.
Handsome Dr. Stewart is actually his name in the show.
I just won't play by your rules.
I'll save lives, but I will not put on anything,
but this tuxedo. You're gonna get engaged with a,
in a temporary romance with Dr. Gray,
but then you'll die tragically.
But the, the titular Dr. Gray, I love Dr.,
I love Dr. Carynani.
Killed by Dr. Anatomy.
But the character is Dr. Anatomy, yeah.
Yeah.
That's how I would do that show.
Sure.
Just like how general hospital, if I ran,
it would be about a military man whose last name was hospital.
So welcome to the flop house.
This is your all things entertainment weekly coverage.
Now, for those of you listening, this episode will come out
a couple of weeks after the entertainment weekly.
Oh, we did record one that came out already.
So, but for us, this is something that just happened.
So, we're still a little giddy about it.
Thank you very much to entertain Weekly.
And thank you very much to all of our fans over the years
who is enthusiasm and excitement and word of mouth.
And basically nudging the AV club to cover us more regularly
in the comments section, I think I'll contribute to this.
Yeah, I'll go down without you.
All those fans who listen to us without a magazine telling them to.
Yeah, without those fans, we just be three lonely guys sitting in a room.
Talking into unconnected microphones. Having just watched the worst movie yeah without the what without those fans we just be three lonely guys sitting in a room talking into
unconnected microphones having just having just watched the worst movie Adam Sandler ever made
yeah which brings us to the subject of tonight's uh... episode or today's i don't
know you're listening to this that's my boy
oh is it
no what's the
i don't have i'm childless though i'm so sorry no that was a decision like this
afraid of a genuine like an imaginary. No, that was a just like this afraid of Virginia wool fucking imaginary child you and your wife
Brandon I
No, barren vanzanars. I know that's not true. I just don't have a child
But the movie we watch was that's my boy the movie was your boy
It was damn the famous gun to your head. This was an Adam Sandler vehicle Adam Sandler joint. Yeah
Damn, the fame has gone to your head. This was an Adam Sandler vehicle.
Adam Sandler joint, yeah.
Uh, but you know, he didn't direct it.
It's happy Madison production.
He's bringing in some new blood.
He's co-starring with young Andrew Sandberg.
It's two guys whose initials are AS, who both have very Jewish faces and are comedians,
and came off a saturday night live.
Possible father and son duo.
Well, the thing is, it's a great idea to pair the two of them in a movie because they do look like they could be family members.
The bad idea was in making it this movie that they were paired up in.
So that if they ever do this collaboration again, people are going to think back and be like, oh, yeah, it's like that's my boy too, right?
Yeah, it's a reunion of that movie.
Yeah, that's my well in 10 years when the Oscars does the that's my boy reunion with all the cast like they did for Chicago.
does that's my boy reunion with all the cast like they did for Chicago. Yep, and still still.
And here is.
I just there's no reason to reunite the cast of Chicago.
We never see those guys.
Come on.
We see him all the time.
And also nobody even remembers that movie even the one best picture.
Anyway, that's my boy had a big big all-star cast.
Yeah, you got Adam Sandler, Rex Ryan, Susan Sarandon
and one scene and her daughter in a couple scenes.
Tony Orlando.
Flop House previously covered actress,
Lieten Meester.
Lieten Meester, yeah.
Popular hip-hop artist, Vanilla Ice.
And who else?
Hello, Ventumiglia.
Perfect, did you know?
Not a name.
It's not a real name.
You made it up.
Ventumidilotargulia. It's not a real name. You made it up. Mentioned a little turkey.
It's a disease of some kind that affects the neural cells.
He was, he was a Rory's boyfriend.
I'm Gilmore, girls.
For all people out there who like me have the taste
of a 14 year old girl.
That explains all the, the one direction posters
that are up in your apartment.
And the pervazoid nickname.
I don't know. So we should have a more top-regid known And the pervazoid nickname. I know.
So it's a total of a no-per-be.
So let's do the plot real quick, because it's a stupid movie and the plot is terrible.
Although it takes two hours.
This is a two, this is an hour and two hour one by the cast.
This is a.
This movie you, you're first, you're like, oh, okay, like a stupid, I'm saying the
comedy. What's this going to be?
89 minutes, 62 minutes.
No, 114 minutes.
Wow, that's a Judd Avatar direct this.
You know, what's going on?
Burn airplane airlines all over the place
are angry that they can't show this movie on shorter flights.
They don't, I mean, it's a hard R rated movie.
I don't think that's true.
Yeah, but you can watch those in the back
of your seat these days.
You should be able to though.
You can't, I'm, what if like a little delighted.
What if a little delighted?
I am delighted.
What if I'm delighted.
What if I'm delighted.
What if I'm delighted.
What if I'm delighted.
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What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted.
What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. What if I'm delighted. You are the technical. Speaking of giving you the very purr, you're the purvy God parent.
You're purvy Godfather. Yeah. Dan McCoy. It's decided to gift you. Like you're the guy who accidentally leaves a playboy magazine
in behind the seat. Exantly on purpose. Yeah. I don't think that's an accident.
There's people like the Johnny Applese to pour. Yeah. Johnny porn seat.
There were some kind of pot on their head. I guess a lot of pictures. Johnny
Apple see does seem to be wearing a pot on his head. I mean, a head. Wow. Wait, wait,
a take down Johnny Apple see. No, you're the one who's the you're lack of Johnny
Apple's seed knowledge. So that likes I don't I want to keep your
instructions roast of American folklore. Hey, Paul Bunyan. What's with the name of your ox babe? Are you in love with her?
Anyhow spill what's yeah, we want to get a
Thing with the other things. Oh, take us bill wrote a horse named widow maker
Okay, another thing with another thing
Okay, so the movie that's my boy we. We open in the year 1980, question mark.
It's kind of like a, it's kind of like old 19th century novels
where they say, oh, well, this happened in the year 18 dash
because they don't want to tell you the year for whatever reason.
And that's, that's the last point
that this is in any way literary.
But being a fan of the Adam Sandler canon,
I'm assuming it happens concurrently with the wedding singer. I have to assume I'm kind of surprised the wedding singer character didn't just walk
through the back, background of one of the shots. But so we were in a middle school, I guess,
there's three 13 year old boys where one of them is young Adam Sandler who looks to be
maybe played by someone who's Puerto Rican. He looks very Latino for the young Adam Slammer. The lessons can check that. And he is, he hits on his teacher
who's played by Susan's Raymond's daughter, what's her name?
Eva Meary.
Eva Meary.
And.
I'm Meary.
Yeah, you're saying it right.
A Meary Baraka.
Let's just say his teacher is played by a Meary Baraka.
Okay.
So the, he hits on her and she says, that's going to give you
detention.
But then a detention
Uh-oh turns out she's totally into him and they start having sex all over the place. Yeah. This is a movie
based on statutory rape a goofy Adam Sadler comedy and the inciting incident is statutory rape
But I mean and the kid and it's taken for granted that
This is the most amazing thing in the world.
The teacher goes to jail, but the kid becomes super famous.
His name is Donnie Burger, and he just becomes a superstar.
He's on magazine covers, hanging out with famous stars.
No, I want to object to this because there have been cases where teachers have had stacks
with their students before.
And the students become super famous.
They're not super famous.
They're all open to play.
They're super famous. Phillips, see more Hoff play. So after a super film, Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Yeah, Ashton Kutcher.
I didn't realize that that's how they got their start.
Yeah, James Polk.
F. Murray Abraham.
But I was saying that this is like,
this is like, hap-racula.
Dracula.
This is happening in the same universe as a roadhouse
where there's a camera skill as a famous bouncer. And in this world where there's a famous bouncer and in this world there's
a famous statutory rapie.
There's a lot, yeah, there's this weird, you were saying this weird genre of movie where
people have become superstars for something that no one has ever become famous for doing
and that's one of them.
It's kind of like if you can imagine a movie about like a famous hitman, which I assume
exists somewhere where it doesn't make any sense
There's no reason for that to happen. I guess famous Bouncer in Roadhouses
Yeah, but he's famous among people who go to Roadhouses. All right, they're gonna know who Dalton is which is most of the United States
And also he's famous for being the heir to the B Dalton bookseller's fortune and just giving up on that because of his love of bouncing
Yeah, I walked away. That's why he's selling for Bouncing Dalton.
For Bouncing Dalton.
Booksellers.
He founded that became a wealthy bookstore owner
and then he got out at the height of the market.
If he was stealing bookstore stores,
he'd be down inside a business.
He walked away.
But meanwhile, Dalton.
And it'd forgotten what it was really about.
The Bouncing.
Dalton is having a great bouncing time.
So what should I do instead of this?
I should look at my first name, bouncing.
Yeah, they named him after his grandfather,
Jedidi bouncing.
Okay.
The adventure of bouncing.
So Adam Sandler's character,
Dunnie Burger, now it's the modern time,
and he is at the bottom of the barrel.
He is an alcoholic basically.
He's a total slime ball.
And he's gonna go to jail for tax evade.
And he owes a lot of taxes as told to him by his accountant
played by Jetscoach Rex Ryan.
And the joke here is that he's a big fan of the patriots
in this movie, Womwa.
I don't care, I don't like sports.
Anyway, moving on.
So Adam Sandler decides he's gonna do the only thing
he can think of to get this money.
He's going to go back on TV, but TV only wants him. If he can arrange a reunion with him,
his estranged teacher lover and his estranged son who has changed his name in order to erase
his burger heritage and is now a financially successful uptight, you know, kind of sticking the mud type guy.
He's your egon spangler, but not a scientist, if you will.
Right.
And without the great hair, the weight doesn't think of the cartoon.
He was blonde in the cartoon.
Meanwhile, Adam Sandler, his boy, the titular boy, is about to get married to late in
meester.
And he's played by Andy Samford.
Well, I've also played late in meester of the roommate fame.
And you know that she is going to turn out to be a bad choice for him because I guess
she has some sense of propriety.
Yeah.
I don't know.
She does.
She's not like a drunk stripper who barfs all over the place.
I care.
And it's funny because the movie is setting up a very specific character arc.
Adam Sandler's character is a slime ball.
He re his son is cut off all contact with him.
He owes all this money to the government.
It's clear he's going to have to win people's love back
and get back in their good graces to earn his happiness.
And to be fair, that is a small portion of the movie,
but that's like the last 10% movie.
Until you get to the last like seven minutes of the movie,
it is Adam Sandler walks into a, does something terrible and everybody loves it.
Like he's everybody's hero,
he's the most popular guy in the world,
and that would work as a running joke
if he wasn't like, I guess the hero of the movie,
or even like if it hadn't been set up as Adam Sandler
as to win back his son's love, you know?
If it was that a movie about two,
like let's say it's moved at two friends,
one of whom is a good guy and the other is an asshole.
And everybody loves the asshole and the good guy can't catch a break.
Like that's a comedy plot.
Yeah.
But instead they have, they like go overboard and making people love out of San Diego.
And then they have to go overboard making Andy Sandberg and his fiance uptight to justify
this.
So the movie is like lurching back and forth between.
The movie becomes about how like a rock buttons bottom slime ball walks into
this society wedding and teaches all the squares had a loosen up.
And if he was like, grouch on marks,
Rodney Andrew Field in them.
I mean, what you're basically talking about is the plot of every Mark's brothers movie.
Yeah, but those guy like, grouch on marks,
some start out as a slime ball. He's just kind of like a
little slime ball. He wants to marry a woman for money.
He's a dictator in one of them. And he's a shester lawyer. He's just kind of like a total slime ball. He wants to marry a woman for money. He's a dictator in one of them and he's a shester lawyer. He's
always cheating people. He's a, he's more of a charming con man type. I feel like that's
these a slime ball. He's a rock bottom slime ball. He never has a lot of money. Cheeto is
a remark and earring and a denim vest. And he's got Adam saying that. Cheeto or as he would
call him. Cheeto is a flat out thief, always conning people,
stealing their money, lazy.
That's a pronounced cheeko, because he pays the chicks.
If Harpo could talk, he'd be a total jerk,
he's always running after girls,
tearing their clothes off.
He's a possible rapist.
He's constantly stealing silverware.
I mean, but the problem I guess is that those guys
are really funny, and the people they're up against
are so incredibly snooty, but Adam Sandler walks into,
like they have to keep upping the stakes of how shitty these rich people are.
Yeah, that's what Adam Sandler does come off as a monster.
Um, but anyway, he comes in and Andy Sandberg does not want to admit this is his father.
So he says it's his best friend, Donnie.
And Donnie makes up a story that he saved Andy Sandbridge life and this is one of the few funny running gags
Is he tells the story that genuinely made me laugh?
This is there a couple there are like what like six jokes that genuinely made us laugh in the movie usually about a
File mouth granny. No, they were not any of the foul mouth granny
Price that foul mouth granny did not wrap it any point
Because they did that the wedding singer with a non-file mouth granny and sounds like I burned that material That material was gold but I can't use it again and everyone saw it
The he tells the story about how he saved he saved the Andy Sandbrook's character name is Todd
He saved Todd's life by Todd dropped a burrito on a train track and then went down to get it and Adam Sandler saved him
When from getting hit by the train and everyone instantly believes this story and has questions for Todd,
like why would you do that?
Wouldn't you just buy another burrito?
Yeah, why do you,
wouldn't the burrito be dirty?
Why didn't you just buy another burrito?
And that was the one funny running gag
was that everyone instantly buys this story
and has real questions for Todd about it.
But otherwise, Donnie just does a lot of,
like he'll walk into a room and say was up
and everyone loves it.
And he's like,
hey, let's all go play baseball. And they spent like 17 days playing baseball. Just him
shagging balls at people in the outfield shows them how to have a real bachelor party.
Not the one that was playing where they'll go to a man's spa, but one where they go.
Which did look like a boring bachelor party. Yeah, sure. But instead they go to like his
favorite, you know, dive strip club. And just love it's it's one of these movies
We wrap up at about 10 p.m. I guess
Talk about what's amazing. Let's let's pause for that because they go to a spa. They're there for at least let's say 40 minutes
Minimum then it seems like two hours probably seems like a long time and then Donnie goes let me show show you a real strip club. They are real bifurs apart. They go to the strip club.
There's a long montage of being in it. It's dark outside. They're doing shot after shot
of tequila. You know, people are getting up on the stage and dancing with the strippers.
And it's not like you can just do that right away. You've got to earn the trust of the place
over the course of at least an hour. Yeah. Before they let you get on stage. They're drinking.
They get so drunk that they're like, Nick Sw, in this galvanting around, Nick Swartz is in this two playing Stewart point
out basically just a more retarded version of Bill Murray's character from catty check.
Yeah, with the moment, the end he's just dressed like Bill Murray's character from catty check.
Complete with army helmet and everything. So much. One of those characters like, I kind of
feel like maybe he's like Harvey in the RV, only Adam Sandler. Except that one of the other characters punches it.
Yeah. In many ways I wish I could not see Nick Swardson. So they go to the best party.
They're there for let's say minimum estimate two hours. Yeah. Then they're like, hey,
this part is not over yet. It really feels like four though. Yeah, it feels like four hours. Then they're like, hey, this part is not over yet. It really feels like four though.
Yeah, it feels like four hours. Then they go, do they go bowling next? Is that?
They go to skating rink.
Oh, they go to skating rink. We're children are skating. And they're there for, let's say,
35 minutes, but at this point, who would let their child ice skate around vanilla ice and
Todd Bridges? Oh, yeah, vanilla ice came with them. That's true. And they're there. So, like,
are there at, is this an all night three AM ice skating rink?
And then they go, can't open bowling.
Then they go, can't open bowling,
because did we mention it's Boston?
Hey, they're in Boston.
So Adam Sandler has a terrible Boston accent
with this little nicky voice rast.
And it's a terrible voice.
And it's bad enough that every other movie and television show
is apparently set in Boston.
And we have to hear Boston accents all the time.
Not even.
They're controversial statement. It's entire, the entire town of Boston is going to come get you.
And as I'm led to believe, they are a pugnacious one.
They are pugnacious.
And I'm going there in a couple weeks, so I'll be in trouble.
But it's not even that.
It's the same way that if every cop thriller, buddy comedy, family drama was set in Oxford,
Mississippi, I'd get tired of that accent if they were all set in like
Oxford, Mississippi,
Very studious part of Mississippi. Yeah, if they're all set in June, Alaska
I'd get tired of the Alaska accent if they were all set in Beverly Hills like get tired of that et cetera
I'm just tired of the Boston. What if there were a Beverly Hills Chihuahua now you're talking
But the point is that they go to these family
places that, you know, like in the middle of the night, it's got to be three or four eight. This is
after their debauching of the strip club. It's painting a grim picture of Boston Nightlife.
Well, it's painting is children running wild, ice skating at two in the morning.
The only other explanation is that in Boston the sun has been extinguished
There's some curse put on the place to come by with the sun blocking machines
Just like that couple of episodes when married with children went to England because there was that village where the they had been cursed
To never see the sun Boston has apparently been cursed by one of Edo Niels ancestors to never have sunlight
So they go to strip club at let's say, 11 a.m.
And they go ice skating at lunchtime.
Yeah.
I'm amazed I remember the storyline for when Mary
with children went to London.
Little dumb things are remembered.
So anyway, but that's the bachelor party.
And there, you know what?
Adam Sandler and his son are really, by the way,
this is like an hour and 30 minutes into the movie that we just went through. It's very little plot. Adam Sandler and his son are really, by the way, this is like an hour and 30 minutes
into the movie that we just went through.
It's very little plot.
Adam Sandler has sex with an old lady.
There's a lot of that kind of stuff.
They make up, you know what,
the relationship is coming together and Andy Cymbic says,
you know what, I will go to jail and visit my mom
because the mom, the teacher is still in jail.
And Adam Sandler suddenly realizes, oh no.
I can't use him like this.
I arranged with the TV crew.
He's gonna hate me and you know what, that's unfair to him, he's my son. So he says, don't go, don't go. like this. I arranged with the TV crew. He's gonna hate me
and you know what that's unfair to him. He's my son. So he says don't go don't go and he goes no I will go
I will go and he goes and the TV cram. So that yeah that moment of
character growth might be
Ignored by the audience when they see even a I see you're an aiding on himself like I found and saying I'm a found
This is also after this is also after
two fat people in their underpants have chased Andy Sanberg around the darken streets of
Boston because he was looking like they're having a lot of fun because he rode his bike
into their car while they're having sex in it which I want to hope is no more to tango
and cash and the scene where their car chase interrupts a couple having sex in the car. And then a Russian guy comes out and says,
Hey, I believe in Paris Stroika.
Yeah, and it has no connection to any of them.
Because it's the 80s.
Yeah, it's the 90s.
It's the 90s.
So there's been a lot of goofy jokes that we skipped over.
We haven't mentioned any about, we haven't,
oh, and we should mention that,
Andy Sandberg's fiancee's
sponsored brother who's a marine and does a lot of like threatening and he
samberg and wrestling him
and adam samler introduces his superpower which is that he can knock anyone out
by hitting him hitting them in the back of the head of the bottle
is always got a beer on the marine is trying to beat up and he samberg
and he hits him with the bottle
uh... for some reason and he's samberg gets in a fist fight with a priest played by James Khan and Adam Sandler
hits him in the back of the head with a bottle.
James Khan was an amazing Irish accent.
It's kind of you're watching it and you just wonder why James Khan is in it.
But I think maybe he thought this he didn't know what Adam Sandler was.
He thought this was the next bottle rocket.
Yeah.
He gave a little he gave a little bit of help to a young man named west Anderson and the wilson brothers
maybe he'll help out this adam sandler and this and your sandberger or as you
said in the uh... in the total recall episode when i was amazed that bill
night was in the movie
they probably got to be in the movie by paying him money that was probably it
they said james con would you like money to buy things and he said i would like
that tell me what i would have to do to do it
we should do scenes and that I'm saying the movie,
he said, well, this take less than 72 hours.
Yes, it will, James Con.
Okay, then I will.
How much money are you paying me?
What does it take?
On Martha's finger, it sounds good.
It's the same way that they got Tony Orlando
in this movie.
So who needs an agent in this day and age?
You just do it yourself.
Just call them up and you offer them the money. Hey, we're all freelance entrepreneurs. We're selling
our brand. That's the 21st century. You don't have a career. You're a brand. You got to
push it. And James Gunn is pushing the James Con brands to get all these juicy, batland
priest roles. When they do a remake of the fighting 69th, the Jimmy Cagney, James Conn will
be ready for it. Yeah. So what, what are we up to?
I don't even know.
So they are, so he goes to the prison.
They go, he goes to the prison, the TV crew ambushes him and he says, you used me.
And Adam Sandler says, no, it wasn't like that.
It wasn't like that.
And he's saying, Morgan Adam Sandler getting to an argument.
It's that moment where the two characters who have become friends part ways until they
reconnect. I real. This moment was most hit home for me become friends part ways until they reconnect.
Yep.
I real.
By the way, this moment was most hit home for me when I saw the movie Shrek and Shrek and
the donkey had an argument and walked away from each other and was like, that was totally
unnecessary.
It's just because the plot needs them to do that right now.
Yeah.
You're saying, uh, no, I just want to backtrack a moment and no filler and Shrek.
No, the running around for no reason see and set to repute my reputation.
Totally not filler.
I just wanted to point out that as you may have guessed, the older Eva, Eva Murie was played
by real life Eva, a murie mother, Susan Sarandon.
That's probably how she's going to age, right?
That's exactly what I look exactly like my dad looked at 31.
I assume Dan looks like his dad at,
how he 57, how old are you?
I am very cool.
And Stuart is totally youthful.
And they broke the mold and they created Stuart.
So he looks like nobody except maybe Seth Rogen a little bit.
I cooff human pineal gland fluid like the leach woman
every day bathed in the blood of virgins.
Yeah, like lady battery.
So.
So do you think that because she was named lady battery,
she thought herself, I gotta have some sort of
back related stick.
I gotta figure this out.
It's like bounce or Dalton.
I mean, she lived in a country
where that spoke English, so she didn't though.
All right.
Maybe she did. And the blood splits splits pretty easy to come across, right?
Like water'd be boring.
Especially back then.
Yeah.
Well, what you always want to say, I want to get out of a bath feeling stickier than when
I walked into it.
And then what?
And that's what a blood bath does for you.
You get nice and sticky and crusty.
And then you just sell that shit to Dracula.
Boom.
Yeah, you're making money left and right. I got clean and paid.
Thanks, easy pawn. And I got my bracelet back. The joke for anyone who rides the subway
in New York sees the easy pawn ads. So what a little oh, so anyway, where were we? Oh,
they break up. They're estranged. They're estranged from each other again.
But that's when the soundtrack goes from Van Halen
to the replacement.
Yeah, there's a lot of 80s hits in the movie.
Yeah, the soundtrack's a pretty good soundtrack.
I'll say that.
They play 15 seconds worth of Whiplash by Metallica.
So that was OK with me.
They play most of, in the limelight,
right? Or is it just called limelight?
Limelight.
Look, I'm not a rush fan. OK. And hey, wait, is the limelight, right? Or is it just called limelight? Limelight.
Look, I'm not a rush fan.
Okay.
And, hey, wait, is hot for teacher in this movie?
I don't think it is, which is weird.
Strangely weird, right?
Since the movie was based on that song.
But anyway, oh, I was gonna say that Susan's Brandon
now kinda has the lock on playing the older versions
of teachers who had sex with their students
since she didn't 30 rock too.
Where she was due to Friedlander's former teacher
who got it a jail and reconnected with him,
because they had sex when he was a student.
So I guess this is how she wants her career to go.
I think it's just like Hollywood needs
to find another sexy older lady.
A Helen Marin, I guess.
But I mean, Susan Sran and Hazey
extremely well, beautiful woman.
I mean, there's websites devoted to just that. I mean, there are hardworking extremely well-milled beautiful woman. I mean there's websites to vote it's just that
I mean there are hardworking milk hunters tracking these milks down
Tagging them and releasing them into the wild so we can track their migration patterns. They tag them. Toss them in their bang bus
The problem really is the problem is unlicensed milk hunters who hunt looking for bush meat to feed their tries
and
Milk milk numbers are addressed.
They claim that it's, that they need to thin the milk for the good of the herd, but
that is wrong.
Yeah.
And the HWCS, the Hot Wife Conservation Society, asked for your donations so that they can,
they need guards, they need fences.
These refugees for milfs are being devastated.
Basically, malls and, and I got in cash crop farming and beef grazing has caused them to cut down the rainforests
Which are the milfs natural habitat the destruction of the wetlands
Mill many milfs have successfully adapted to living in the suburbs, but not enough
But the point is won't you be aware of the problem the point is that in Sarah McLaughlin song
For mother
I'm Sandler needs to figure out a way to regain his son's trust about this movie
Yeah, well, we'll finish up so what he does is he overhears his son's fiance
Talking to someone on the phone. He thinks she's cheating on him
He confronts her at the rehearsal dinner. She says it was something else entirely now
He looks like even more of a jerk. He decides he's gonna make it up to her and and win her over by bringing her ice cream
So he just brings two ice cream cones vanilla to the size cream to her hotel
The ice cream doesn't melt at all so steward
I think it was who pointed out that it probably just matched between
So long the best he have been walking with that ice cream?
I don't know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I feel like, wins over the audience. If you were on the fence about that, it's my boy.
You thought it was maybe a little too crass.
Then the scene where Adam Sandler walks in on it.
This is the boy where you've gotten up out of your chair, walked about 10 steps toward the exit.
And then you turn over the shoulder.
And you say, all right, that's my boy. You go in less chance.
Turns out Andy Sandbrook's fiance is having an affair with her brother.
That's right. She's routinely having sex with her brother.
This is when you go, you shake your head and go,
not this time, that's my boy,
and you walk out the door.
Oh, I just lay him at your side.
I thought that was when you said,
God damn, that's my boy, you magnificent bastard,
you've done it again.
I don't know.
Bravo.
You slow clap, you slow clap, the incest,
third act reveal.
I don't think so.
You might not like it, but he respects where the movie went.
Yeah.
I don't like you, but I respect you.
No wait, I don't respect you.
I don't like you and I don't respect you.
So Adam Sandler comes back to the wedding.
He tries to get there for some,
oh, sheep gives him a $50,000 check to stay quiet,
but then he says, no, I can't do it.
Even though this is gonna keep me out of jail, it's the money I need to pay my back taxes that I owe. I'm gonna be good by my son
He goes to the wedding with vanilla ice in tow
Their car hits like sand or something. I don't know they get stuck in the desert
They have to get out and run the last mile
They get thrown a beach they get to the wedding and they reveal all and they save the day and any
Sam but everyone shames late me. Everyone you like you start to kind of feel bad
for that. Yeah I mean she is having sex with her brother but like everyone turns
on him so quickly. And this is a movie that has champion statutory rape so
consensual incest is a weird thing to toe hold the line at like wait a minute
it's okay for a grown-up to have sex with a child
It is not okay for two adults to have sex with each other if they're related. It's probably I don't think I don't think
I don't think just to be clear. I don't think either of those things is okay. Oh, you're endorsing both
I'm not endorsing either of them
But it seems weird for the movie to come down on the side of the one that could cause emotional trauma and
Damage whereas the other one is...
Probably the cause of emotional trauma.
I mean, like Adam Sandler's not never gotten over it, and Andy Sandberg had a
terrible childhood because of it.
It's also implied that Andy Sandberg and Adam Sandler are both math geniuses.
You know, thing that you think this would in some way help them solve the problem of being
of owing money or whatever.
But no, it's just the thing that they have that their math geniuses
and calculate any number in their head. Part of why the teacher was attracted to him
was his ability of math. And lately since that. Well, she's like the professor X of
statutory rape. She saw the special gift hidden inside this child. And I'm
she said I'm gonna fuck that out of them. I guess so. Instead of taking her to also bald. And she was in a floating gold wheelchair. A
hover chair. She's also friends with Magneto before a falling out. Yep. But so, you
know, everything has been fixed between them now. They're related to this great. Adam
Sandler's gonna find new love with a bartender at the strip club. Oh, you mean Andy
Sandberg is. Oh, Andy Sandberg's gonna find new love with a bartender at the strip club and any same burgers and he's saying bros to find new love with a bartender
strip club
and and he adam sanler
says you know what i will go to jail i'll be out in three years that's when
Susan sranin is going to get out of jail and we can reconnect and there's
something about that moment
that i was like well at least are treating it like a real like they're going to
try to build a relationship i don't know but then uh-oh we forgot to mention
that in the first three no no, the first 10 minutes of the movie.
One of the other few good jokes in the movie.
Adam Sandler has decided to bet some money
that $100, $20, $20.
That $20.
On a fat guy to win the Boston Marathon
at 8,000-a-one odds.
In the last two minutes of the movie.
That might solve his $50,000 problem.
With a lot to leftover to spare.
And the last five minutes of the movie on television they realize the fat guy is
winning the marathon and they watch him struggle to the finish line and beat all
the ethnocute for good fine
this is that guy comes back in a fat ex machina
the solve all the problems
yeah and they win and now he's got the money to stay at a jail. And it is
consequences averted. And it hints at a much better movie about Adam Sandler coaching a fat guy
to get him to win the Boston marathon, but that didn't happen. You know, I love movies where
the entirety movie. Okay, right. I like it when a movie seems like the entire movie is just
built around one final joke,
lost boys, cabin fever, etc. But this-
Ministry of fear.
But in this case, it feels like they had the joke and then they're like,
let's melt it for another five to ten minutes.
Yeah, they really, like Dan mentioned, they should have just had someone walk in with a big check
and be like, hey, that fat guy won! We did it!
Because then it becomes a joke about how throw away that was. Like, we just like,
we have just fucked you movie watcher by revealing how arbitrary anything that happens in this movie is.
And then that's funny. But instead, they turn it into a like, is he gonna make it?
Is he gonna finish the race about a character who's been, we've literally only seen a still photo of,
one time earlier in the movie. We have no emotional feeling for this
guy and I expect a chair. It's a fire to start playing. I'm surprised that they sent
all so much money on the other music rights for this movie that they couldn't afford that
because it can toss the money to the angelus. The budget of this movie was $70 million
which is amazing. Like wasn't there a thing online about people theorizing
that Adam Sandler movies are some sort of like
money laundering operation or like a tax shelter?
I think that about the room.
Maybe tax shelter.
I mean, Adam Sandler's movie is for the most part
seem to be based around where he can vacation
during the shooting of the movie, like Hawaii
and just go with it, a cruise ship in Jack and Jill,
just wherever they went and grownups.
When that was at like Jack and Jill,
it was like, it was like,
and also like a $70 million proposition,
but that movie had so much product placement
and like the whole thing turned on a Dunkin' Donuts
ad-re-tied.
That's a movie that you have to do it,
at least there's special effects in that movie
for scenes that-
Yeah, fat suit.
No, no, but Adam Sandler has-
Are you saying the effects wasn't that special?
Yeah, I've seen special effects were far from special and the
photography was far from Sinna.
The writing was far from screen and theography was far from Corey.
I'm Jean Charlotte from beyond the grave.
Is he still alive?
Well, wherever you are, I hope you're doing great, Jean.
But this is one of those movies that is like, you could almost be okay with it if it was
like, just a vulgar throwaway comedy.
Like it's not, there are a couple funny jokes in it over a two hour running time.
But it's mostly super unfunny and super gross, but like,
then there are those moments where you're supposed to feel for the characters and it's like,
no, movie, you haven't, you haven't earned that.
No movie, this isn't the type of movie you are.
You forgot which movie you are.
Like, maybe like the producers can do that, but the producers is a far better movie.
Be like kind of a vulgar comedy where you feel for the characters a little bit.
But this is not really.
The producer never gets as like mockish as this. I mean, the fact that there's like a father son be like kind of a vulgar comedy where you feel for the characters a little bit. But this is not very good. But this is like mockish as this.
I mean, the fact that there's like a bothersome
or like a shit.
It doesn't get as mockish or like a shit.
It's just like, does the producers feature a character
who can whip out a bottle of beer
from any part of his body at any point?
And then has sex with a granny.
But one of the heroes is a slime ball
who has sex with granny.
Oh, okay.
Zero mustell. So basically what I'm has sex with granny's okay zero must tell
So basically what I'm saying is the late great zero must the producers meets the marks brothers is that's my boy
That's my boy is like groucho plus Mel Brooks
My heart is hurt Adam Sandler is them if groucho marks and zero must tell had a child
He'd be Adam Sandler says they're boys says Dan McCoy of Dan McCoy's movie.
I've never seen him.
He's the whole thing to you, sir.
Also, the phrase, that's my boy's in the movie a couple times.
Which is just stupid.
The only way that I wish they'd put a counter up in the corner of the screen,
every time the phrase, that's my boy was said.
That would be amazing.
It's when I guess I was saying,
I wish this movie was either
sillier and dumber or was an actual movie about
a father and a son trying to connect.
And longer, right?
You said you'd like it to be longer.
I thought at an hour and 54 minutes,
they'd only scraped the surface of what was hidden here.
If I wish this was like,
the clock or like,
or Berlin Alexander Platz,
give me, I want to spend a full day without sleeping watching this.
Well, that brings us, I think, into our next segment, which is final judgments on this movie,
final judgments, judgment, those final, final judgments, we have all is playing
a right now in your ears.
So is this a joke?
Now, right now in your ears. So is this a joke now? Where we answer the question is this a good bad movie a bad bad movie or a movie we kind of liked Stewart what do you have to say about that?
This was a movie I thought was a bad bad movie. I tricked you there. Nope. I don't think anyone
is just too long. It isn't it's not suspended. No, it's too long.
It isn't, it's not even funny enough.
And it's a movie where the model relationship in the movie is between a teacher and her
student, like the model romantic relationship.
But if the movie had had like, there could be a really good movie about that.
There may be, and I'm just not thinking about the moment, but this is not it.
You know, there, it makes me more courageous and really like pushing the offensive.
Well, there are a lot of scenes in this movie where like if John Waters had done them,
yeah, they may have, he may have pulled them off because like, he would have gone super
far and he would have not been, I don't know, he would have been like shocking you, but
never being like, get it, get it, get it, eh,
shocking, right?
If you're gonna go far with him,
you have to go all the way.
And to have that weird moral turn where it's like,
rape, yes, incest, no, Adam Sandler says,
that's where the line gets drawn.
Like, unless the joke is that how hypocritical
this slime ball is, but it's not.
And it's just another twist on like the,
the stuck up girlfriend or stuck up wife character.
Like having something wrong with her and having something like secret that's like,
oh, you're gross.
Well, because in a lot of these movies, it's like, if the girl doesn't like her husband
being a bro, that's her problem, which is horrible.
But this one, it's not even being a bro.
Being a bro is horrible.
Basically.
But in this one, it's not even that she, like, the behavior that is acceptable for the movie
is so outlandish that she has to be equally outlandishly
uptight and have this crazy skeleton.
Yeah, I haven't noticed that necessarily,
but you're right.
There is like this weird like streak of misogyny
and these type of movies where like the uptight girl
who like seems like she's actually just rational.
Like they have to be like, no, she's evil.
Yeah, there needs to be something that's...
And we're gonna make her lick still wet jizm off
of her wedding dress.
I forgot about that.
Well, okay, when there's that,
she has a $12,000 wedding dress,
and Annie Sanbergett, after a night of debauchery,
doesn't look like it's worth 12,000.
He vomits and ejaculates on it off camera, thankfully.
And the next morning she goes,
oh, you threw up on my dress,
and there's something else sticky on it.
Still sticky.
Smells it, and then.
Touches it, smells it.
Licks it.
Oh, it's jizz.
It's like one, how did, why,
how did she not realize to that moment what it was?
But also, why do you have to make?
She thought he'd be making a sandwich with mayonnaise
or something.
And then he vomited. It makes a lot of sense. The female lead of your movie, to make she thought he'd have to make a sandwich with mayonnaise or something. Why do you make that?
And then he vomited.
Why do you make the female lead of your movie lick the jizz off a vomit and crusted dress?
Like again, maybe John Waters could have done it because in his movie, she would have
enjoyed it.
But in this, it's a it's a demeaning thing.
And these movies are totally like, I mean, the undercurrent of all of them is demeaning
women.
There's a minor undercurrent in this about demeaning ethnic ethnic groups.
There's like the goofy Asian butler and who hates his white bosses and the goofy black African priest to show some of the end.
Yes, the last names are landed.
And at the end they make a big thing out of the fat guy beating Ethiopian runners in a race.
I know Ethiopians have been a lot of races, but they're like, but they're going like,
yeah, you beat those Ethiopians.
Like it's this weird undercurrent racism.
No, what they're saying.
But it's like not just a gross vulgar comedy.
It's a gross vulgar comedy that hates women unless they are strippers who love to get drunk
and hates anyone who's not white, basically, unless you're a stripper who loves to get drunk.
So that's a good, good movie from that.
I'm saying, I'm saying, run, don't walk to your television.
Yeah.
I'm saying it was a very bad movie.
I'll say it's a bad, bad movie that like every 18 minutes
showed me a flash of a movie I would embarrassingly
kind of like, but there were not enough of those flashes
to make it.
There were a lot of funny people apparently did script rewrites on
this uncredited. And you can tell because there's like a joke
here or there that's totally unrelated to the rest of the
movie, that's funny. Like maybe once every 18 minutes, yeah.
But the rest, the underpinnings of the movie is bad. And it's
like, you know, I have to say, like, I, you know, what are you
going to do? Hey, maybe I don't like comedy, but I didn't find this one funny.
Well, that's the other thing, like.
Except that it was like,
the producers meets the March Brothers.
I got to say that as someone who is involved
in the comedy world,
like it always brings me no joy
to like make fun of like a comedy.
No, because you want to laugh.
Yeah.
And watching a bad comedy
is a less pleasant experience
than watching a bad drama.
Like, we always wanna see funny things be good. Yeah, and then. I'm is a less pleasant experience and watching a bad drama like we always want to see funny things
Yeah, and I'm a credited comedian here, God
I think I agree with you finish saying what you're saying before you
Well equally funny quote-quote comedian quotes do are Wellington
I just want to say it like some reviews together
Most of the people involved in this movie have done like funny things in the past and I hope to do funny things in the future
But it just didn't work for me. I mean I was as I thought Adam Sandler was as funny as anybody when I was like 13 years old
And I and but I think even the 13 year old me watching this movie would not have enjoyed it, you know
Funny people make missteps Dan speaking of entertainment. We just unfortunate they caught this on camera and then sold it as a movie
steps, Dan. Speaking of entertainment, we just unfortunate they caught this on camera and then sold it as a movie. I can't see like this was something they just did for fun in
their spare time. Yeah, it's fun footage, right?
Before, yeah. Before we get on that. I was going to say bad, bad movie officially. Before
we get on to the next segment, I do want to briefly say something about, uh, before we
get on the entertainment weekly blurb, uh, I realized that it said that, uh, this podcast
comes out weekly,
entertainment weekly.
They must have gotten us confused
with their own entertainment periodical,
which is weekly in the title.
For new listeners, this is actually a bi-monthly podcast.
And I have to say that that was my own fault
that they sent something to me for fact-checking,
but in most of the cases, they broke it down
like one fact per question.
And then in one of the questions, it was like,
is it fair to say that every
week, three comedians break apart a bad movie? And I focused on the description of the podcast
rather than the every week part. So that was on me. But this is actually a bi-monthly podcast.
We do it roughly once every two weeks. Actually, we've been keeping a schedule really nicely
for the, for the, there were years when we would do it very infrequently
Compared to now, but we kept a good schedule
Mm-hmm. We've slowly become more professional over and frankly with all those podcasts out there to listen to
Isn't it a relief to have one that doesn't come out take a little break once a week or multiple times a week?
Make it a treat when it comes. Yeah, you know
Let's make them wait for it make them beg for it
Mm-hmm. I go up in microwave, throwing some go-girt.
Why would you put some side sandwiches?
No.
So the plan is to have the go-girt explode onto the suicide sandwich.
Let's do it well, he's in plastic.
It's a suicide sandwich with go-girt explosion side car.
Before we also get on to the letter segment.
You mean get on to the letter segment.
I also wanted to throw a quick plug
to our friends over at the body and mod podcast
one half of whom is cassiniya yorosh who uh... is part of i love bad movies
that sponsors are
live movie uh... bad movie night shows next one june eight uh... yeah so if you
want to listen to a serious podcast but there's also it is also funny at times but it is a serious discussion of
movies not always bad
uh... then bony and mod is a very good one yeah
with a slight uh...
slight women's been i would say yes and they're not a lot of podcasts about
film that uh... feature female hosts
and there may be i don't know
just a bunch of loud jerks
yet about boob's Does that's us?
High five.
So, and our friends over at All Things Comedy,
a home of comedy and podcast.
We're also part of the All Things Comedy Network.
If you're just picking up this podcast
off the Entertainment Weekly recommendation,
take a spin over to AllThingsComedy.com
and take a look at the other podcasts,
a lot of great ones that you'll enjoy.
So, what you'll enjoy ours the most.
It's time to answer some of your letters from the Flop House Movie Mailbag.
Special song for the Flop House Movie Mailbag.
Post entertainment weekly blurb song.
If you're just coming to the show, if you're a new listener, listen up now,
because I do songs before the letters
Sometimes they're long sometimes they're better
But their songs for the letters letters for the flop as from you
Maybe if you sent one after you read about it or tell me we think about us
Thank you entertainment weekly for see tired out
Listener bomb that we got from being featured in a national magazine has now been erased. What about the big finish for my song? No, I was
gonna scat for five minutes. Oh, it was black. Letter time. So this letter is titled
future Mr. Skin competitor sites from Matthew last name with held. Let's go. He
said Matthew Lesco. it's got to be.
Hello, Flopperinos.
I know that Dan has a very entrenched relationship with the fine folks over at Mr. Skin,
not true, but...
Please, Mr. Skin lives in Florida.
Call me Roger Skin.
But have any of the floppers ever thought about adapting the basic service of Mr. Skin to other
aspects of film?
For instance.
Like violence?
For instance, my friend would like a website that would show every instance
in a school oriented movie
with the bullies lackey pushes the bully away to embrace the hero
i would probably better would be when the bully at the end pushes the lackey
away when he's trying to comfort him that's a solid move they know they do it
better off dead
and uh... isn't is that having a cry to kid or am I not in
karate kid? Yes. Well, the thing is in the
karate kid, the bad he pushes a he doesn't
push away, but he leaves the co-brookai
member. And the one of the things I love
about karate kid actually is that his
main opponent like turns on a dime and is
like when when Ralph Matcha beats him, he
goes, Hey, you're a good guy. And he
actually takes the trophy out of the hand
of the ref and hands it to Ralph Macho. And it's such a great moment of like, you know what? You're a good guy and he actually takes the trophy out of the hand of the ref and hands it to Ralph Macho
And it's such a great moment of like, you know what? You're a good karate guy. I like you like it's you can imagine real friendship forming between them
You have to go to what Okinawa and leave that friendship behind. Yeah, and they die on the beaches. Yeah, they were just soaking up bullets or our brave boys
Good, could retain could end that war.'re mr. Remembering Karate get part two
Part two is a flashback to the Bell of Okinawa, right?
But he goes on to say I would probably be one of the first subscribers to a website that could tell me the exact moment in every movie
Where a stuntman covered in fire walks like a zombie out of an explosion pretty great?
I think I remember Stuart mentioning that his favorite part of the movie is when a character makes a basket and then gives himself a fist pump while saying yes
I'm sure the other hosts have ideas just doesn't have to just be a basket
I claim only a quarter of all future profits derived from the sites you guys come up with flop secretly
Matthew last name
Yeah, I think that's a good idea we could do like when somebody pumps his fist and says yes when
you can do like when somebody pumps his fist and says yes, when movies where someone looks at a check and goes home, like fancy food arrives and it's a really small portion.
Sure. At times when the girl from Epinema is playing in an elevator, or when someone's
walking in a bathing suit past a pool, or anytime a famous actress gets naked in a movie.
Now that's the original. Yeah, and we could, we could classify it by what kind of nudity
you see. No, I think that you guys have forgotten. I think this is a, we could call it Mr.
nude. Okay. When I said, when I said violence earlier, as I could see, I could see a site called
like Mr. Bullets or something where it's like in action movies when the, when the action scenes
take place. So you don't have to sit through all of like, you know, a double team or something where it's like in action movies when the action scenes take place.
So you don't have to sit through all of like,
you know, a double team or something like that.
For people who like action without any sort
of emotional context whatsoever.
Yeah, although I guess then you can just watch
the raid redemption.
Which gives you most of your crazy.
Minimal emotions.
They're brothers, dude.
They are spoiler alert.
That doesn't really have much bearing
on the constant kick fighting. You can see it in their fighting styles, Elliot.
I actually I would like a service for that for
movies that are not musicals, but have a musical number in it so that I can skip that part.
I would like one that
told me whenever someone saw something hot and the soundtrack starts going
and they put their and they push their sunglasses down like this to get a better look. That's good.
Oh, you know what? A changing room montage would be a nice thing. Just movies that
that tells you where the movie has a changing room montage where someone walks out and an outfit
and someone else shakes their head and they go back in, they walk on a different outfit and they
nod their head yes.
This would be harder, but anytime there's a movie
where there's a racist character who is later reformed
and decides they respect the object of his racism.
Well, anytime a real estate developer gets pushed
into a pool at the end of a movie or a bully could be.
But every time they use the word and in a movie,
just give me the time code, every movie.
So our fans get on with all of Mr. Conjunction.
Anyone good at web design?
Just throw those up on the internet.
Yeah, and we'll do them not.
We have jobs.
No, I'm telling my fans to do it.
Fans can do it, sure.
The fans are great.
We've got a lot of great fans around.
So for new listeners, you might want to catch up, research your flop house on the
flop house Wiki, which will probably baffle you more than enlighten you.
And there's also the flop house recommend site
that tells you what movies we recommended in the past,
both set up by fans, and they've done a great job with them.
So this letter is titled, Dan's the Funniest One,
Jerks.
So did you write this?
And it's from Moses.
It's from Dan, something last name with us.
It's from Mr. Mixle, Pitalic,
Care of Backwards World.
He says, I've been a regular listener for a few months now and enjoyed the show immensely.
However, I take issue with the characterization of Dan as the boring one or the Leonardo
of the group.
The mournful sign and exasperation aimed at the podcast chaotic breakdown is comedy
gold.
It makes the show really.
He's a modern day Bob Newhart as seen in the Bob Newhart show or Bob Newhart in Newhart or Bob Newhart in Elf. It's genius. Go
ahead and listen to older episodes. The laughs are provided by McCoy as if he
were a laugh fairy sprinkling joy on us all. Now that I've all but guaranteed
this letter gets read on the podcast. Yep. I was wondering which 2013 films you
anticipate watching for the show. Personally I fully expect Hansel and Gretel which hunters to appear sometime this year,
probably.
Along with GI Joe retaliation perhaps.
Maybe.
So, oh, P.S. this letter was written under the assumption that dance character is an intentional
portrayal of the typical vanilla leader with a personality so devoid of emotion and humor
that it makes a cartoon, a carton of milk look hilarious by comparison if this is not the case
I'm so sorry
So I don't like the end of that I like the end of it. It's like a twist like an M night shaman on letter
He was a monster the whole time
Boring monster oh
Dan I mean it's hard to know ahead of time what the like that Nicholas Sparks movie that people on the Flophouse Facebook page were mentioning.
Yeah, that's a definite.
I'm trying to think what like really stupid-looking movies are coming out.
But I'm drawing a blank at the moment.
Do you do anything of any?
Oh, there's one though.
I can't remember.
I'm terrible, though.
For a while, I felt like the call might be one of those, but then I hear it's not so bad. I know that there are movies that we are in consideration now
to watch in the future that weren't future movies coming out. For instance, hold on to your hats
because I believe a certain gentleman whose name starts with Nicholas and ends with Cage
might be returning and we might watch Nicholas Cage install in.
Oh, yeah.
The new me Nicholas Cage, as it says in the trailer.
Yeah, if you haven't seen the trailer for stolen, which is like taken, but with Nicholas
Cage and much less of a budget and also he's a bank robber.
Yeah, the just like in taken, where Liam Neeson plays that famous bank robber.
Yeah, he plays, uh, Clyde Bear.
Because all the money is taken by him
and the, and the, and the poster was like a Jack Davis drawing of,
of a caricature of Liam Neeson with a big sack of money,
and the money's flying out as he runs
and all the other characters in the movie are running behind him,
shaking their fists.
But the official, try to stop him,
but the money's already took her
the official trailer for this movie an actual movie starting
starring big Hollywood star Nicholas cage and our favorite and our favorite
ever yeah our favorite actor ever in history ends with the voiceover guy
uh... trumpeting the fact that this movie stars
Nicholas cage and it's we i think we've talked about this before, maybe,
but it's like someone walked in the room while he was doing it.
And they were like, great, one take done.
We're out.
I think I can do a better.
We only booked this V.O. booth for 45 seconds.
I think I said Nicholas Cain.
We're on Golden Time people.
All right.
So are there any other letters, Dan?
What about movie 43?
We had to watch that, right?
Oh, God.
I haven't gotten him.
Oh, don't even suggest. It's on you ruined my whole day.
I finally had that. That's my boy behind me. Never get to watch it again. Suddenly movie 43 This, yeah, we should move ahead. I just said we we. We should move ahead because we're running a little long.
Yeah, short letters that don't involve cranks boobs like last episode.
Trying to find a short letter, but I don't have one because that was horrifying at the
ready. I'll read this one instead though. This is a title love letter. It's from Matt last name withheld.
Let's go.
He says, gentlemen, the recent letter
from your grandma hating fan who received not one.
Oh, that was a while ago.
But two copies of the love guru got me thinking,
what a grandma.
What if grandma thought she was getting
me love guru sequel the second time around?
And what would that entail?
Would lesser character John Oliver, aka Dick Pants pants take over mic Myers role in the sequel?
I'll return Steve Carell and Evan Almighty having not actually seen the love guru. There
are only so many plot questions I can ask. So more importantly, what would they call it?
They'd have to call it the love to rule right? There really isn't much more stupid name
for a sequel to such a stupid movie, but why stop there?
Why limit ourselves to one delightful British superstar mash him up when we can have love
act to Ali and to love it.
Love act to all three.
Third movie.
Second one act to all three.
That's a third.
It's like it in third ratio back.
It's like back to the futures.
Oh, it says to be continued.
So this, so they're slowly over sequels.
The love actually name is just being replaced by numbers.
Yeah.
Throw in the direction DVD follow up and you've got a love, quadrilogy.
Of course, then five act tool three.
See also.
Number six, they bring it back to its roots and it's just love actual.
No comma. See also New York. So number six they bring it back to its roots and it's just love actual
See also New York I love to and the toad for love and after 20 and after
29 sequential genie McCarthy films we could finally have 30 love
Which would not be love oh dirty love movie with the period in the grocery store. I don't remember that scene
I didn't have 30 love which would not be a tennis movie for some reason
My story would be my tenant later we'd have 40 love be like the Michael apted up movies
Michael Hanukkah's an Oscar frontrunner for his film a more but does it leave audiences wanting a more or even a four
Obviously, there'd be a third in there somewhere, so we just call it a more three season of the witch
So I guess of course we would my real question is what sequels would you love to see Matt?
This is from Matt Carmen editor of I love bad TV. I detected Matt Carmen's
Matt Carmen I detected your foul instinct when I stepped up to board the space station.
Yeah. So, uh, yeah.
He doesn't smell bad.
The other editor of I love bad movies along with the aforementioned Cassena of Bonnie and
Maud.
Yeah.
Good folks.
And he's trying to pimp us into making up puns that I'm almost noticed.
Well, I'll just tell you the sequels I want to look for ones I've already mentioned on the
show before.
They would be crossover sequels. For instance, Rocky 7, Rambo 5, starting Sylvester Sloan as both
characters, turns other brothers, and a short circuit 3, Terminator 6. I count the Terminator
TV series as the fifth Terminator movie. And Robocop.5, right?
Point 5, so it's a prequel. Yeah, it's kind of, it's like half prequel, but he's in the kitchen.
What if it was, okay, it's a Robocop Terminator short circuit.
And what was that movie about the little kid who was a robot?
Not the show, small wonder, but she's in there check.
No, not Jack, it was a kid who had aging disease.
I'm Robocop.
No, what was it called?
And I can't remember, it was a little boy who turned out as a robot.
Jack Roboc. You know what, I'll just say AI, it wasn't AI, but so it's a Terminator, I'm a real lot. Now what was it called? I can't remember. It was a little boy who turned out as a robot. Jack robot.
You know what?
I'll just say AI.
It wasn't AI.
But so it's a terminator, Robocop AI, Robosapian, small wonder, who am I leading as?
By Centennial.
By Centennial.
Look, any robot that's ever been in a movie is going to be in this and it's going to
be called Robots 2.
There's the sequel to the movie Robots.
The hilarious cast from the trans morpher's movies
Yeah, and the transformers movies guys and the morphers are not gonna get along with each other. Oh, no
Hey, what about rata 2e and rata 2-3. Oh, those are both good. Oh, you're playing too. Well, I play in the game
What about you Stewart? Uh wait what?
It was in a mirrors world all the time
So mirrors to that movie doesn't exist. I assume yours would be castle three uh wait what? It was in a mirrors world all the time.
So mirrors too that movie doesn't exist. I think I assume years would be castle three.
Yeah, you are right because it turns out out of the family's the second castle freak movie.
Uh, head of the formally would be the fourth one of those. Okay, no that's good. So we should just quickly get into our movie recommendation.
The invisible to me, right?
No, I don't know. I said invisible maniac too, invisible boogaloo.
Yeah, wait, why was it Tomb Raider?
Tomb Raider.
Because that would be stupid.
OK.
Because this is a dumb thing.
But it works.
But we're just for a while sequels didn't have numbers in them.
They just would have a subtitle.
And they still just like that.
And they would often have the characters on the poster pointing out the number of
fingers at the film. But it's weird that they decided to go back and put the
numbers in but just kind of wedge them into the titles just kind of squeeze them
in. Like Sherlock Holmes for instance that wasn't called Sherlock Holmes 2
the sequel. Yeah. It was like Sherlock Holmes bookish atos or something. Yeah.
We they found the bookish atos. I guess it's like Sherlock Holmes attack of the clones or something. Yeah.
Shock Holmes walks into a room is like some sort of Blair Witch has been there.
Uh, so I didn't know that Sherlock you just got here. Well, but Matt died in the corner with his hand
to on the wall. She dropped her business card on the floor. It says Blair Witch.
Which I guess which is her last name?
the floor. It says Blair Witch. Witch. I guess which is her last name. So whoever's name is Blair like playing the back of life. Blair Witch and she's a witch. And Blair Underwood.
Yeah. Sure. He's a witch. He's bewitching. Very quickly because we're running long.
This is the part of the show where we make recommendations of movies. We saw recently that we
actually enjoyed positive. These are not ironic recommendations these are positive recommendations of movies we enjoy Elliott why don't you
go first for once okay I usually go last or second today I'm gonna go first it what the movie
I'm gonna recommend is an Italian film from the late 40s I know you love it already called
Riso Amaro which translates as bitter rice and And it is a, it's basically a thriller,
but it kind of gets to the thriller part.
It's a little surprising.
It's almost like a film war crossed with a melodrama,
crossed with a woman in prison film, crossed with,
like a neo-realist story about labor agitation.
And basically, this woman is on the run from the law
and becomes a migrant rice planter
because apparently they have rice fields in Italy
which I didn't realize about.
And the criminal who she was working with
Chase's after her, she gets mixed up with another woman
at the rice plantation who is seems innocent,
but maybe isn't, and there's a lot of like small character work
among other characters that's a lot of like small character work among other characters
That's a lot of fun and I really enjoyed a lot. It's a movie
I deviant off turn a classic movies on a whim and I turned out to be a lot of fun and really enjoyable
So bitter rice risso amaro I'd recommend. Well you guys are gonna make fun of me for this disclaimer
But next movie I'm gonna recommend is not like the Hardiest recommendation. I'm not gonna guess you saw a lot of playing
Or while you were asleep.
I saw the first 10 minutes of it.
I saw while I was injured and unable to leave the house
to do much, so I was watching a lot of Netflix streaming.
A captive audience.
Oh boy.
But no, it's a movie that benefits from a little bit
of low expectation, but it was fun, like, shaggy comedy.
I watched a good old-fashioned orgy, which has a lot of comedy folks in it.
It's got Jason Sudakas, Tyler LeBean, Lake Bell, Nick Crowell, Judy Punch, Will Forte.
Like it's a...
Judy Punch is a great name.
But what I appreciated is...
It's like Punch and Judy.
Thanks.
Thanks for explaining the joke. It's about a bunch of guys. Thanks, thanks a lot. You know what I'm saying? Thanks for explaining the joke.
It's about a bunch of friends who have this house,
this vacation house, and they're gonna lose the vacation house,
and they're used to having these big blowout parties there.
And they're like, what Jason Sudeik is like,
I need a great premise for the last party that we have here.
And because they're growing sort of like older,
like he has this like idea like
this is our last like youthful thing what we're gonna have is we're gonna have a good old
fashion orgy and um so by old-fashioned I mean like a Roman orgy I don't know but he didn't actually
watch the moon he read about it though and it was great what I sort of enjoyed it just looked
up old-fashioned he looked up old orgy on Google a game. I told you were running late and you're dragging it out. Hey, you're the boss keep going
What I liked about this movie was that it a lot of these movies where they have this kind of like
racy premise
At the end of the movie they like I feel like there's this need to introduce
Morality into this and they're like, oh you
know what this isn't a good idea. We're gonna we're not gonna do this thing. We're
gonna reinforce like the most traditional like Hollywood. Yeah and this movie
makes a faint in that direction and it's not but it's not spoiling anything to
say that they actually go ahead and have the orgy at the end of it. I sort of
appreciated that. You don't see that in a movie, and I mean,
I liked that it-
You can see it in a movie pretty easily these days.
The internet is rings orgy movies to your fingertips.
And there's a couple of stores on Thursday
where I'm gonna introduce you to.
I just like to tell you what it means.
For a big, say the one man's engine.
Like, for a straight-up name.
For a straight-up name.
For a straight-up name.
For a straight-up name.
For a straight-up name. I appreciated that it win that direction. So I'm going to reach back into my past recommendations, because we're running short on time.
I don't actually want to think of something.
Why would you?
And I, I, I would you, and I'm going to recommend a flopp house,
Fave split second story, record, how, okay Okay. And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy.
And he was making a far future boy. And he was making a far future boy. And he was making a far future boy. And he was making a far future boy. And he was making a far future boy. Rucker Hauer has a twist on the typical, you know,
detective with skeletons in his closet. This time he is a chocolate and with a figure to match.
Ouch.
And Kim Ketrol is naked in it.
And yeah, it's great.
What else do you need?
And would you look?
You got chocolate problems.
You got alien killers.
You got Kim Ketrol.
I would say that the predator two of alien ripoffs
So I don't even know if that's fate praise or what I don't know what description that is. Oh, man. It's great
Okay, so I mean predators in alien ripoff. I'm recommending
Predator to
Electric Bougaloo. All right. Well, this has been a delight guys it's been called
preditude despite the two hours we spent watching that's my boy that was not a
delight but hey I love spending time with you guys and I love spending it with
our new listeners and our old listeners reminds me of a song no no no it feels
like it's been for ever since I've seen you guys right so for the flop house I've
been damn cool boy young and stored well. I'm maybe you
Elliott sign off. Oh, I'm Elliott Kaelin
I'm out of the world
And he had his testicles outside of his his leotard and the character was called Dr. Nuts and he was like kind of like a crazy guy and he was like a like a comical leaf type, but
in like a major like a major wrestling match his doctor nuts would get killed by somebody
and then he would come back as
like a dark version of him and nobody would know him because he's got a mask and he was
then called wrecking balls.
So you think but he would still have his testicles outside of his leotard.
Yeah, that's how you would know it actually.
So really his mysterious wrestler it would be pretty open.
Yeah, the announcers would be like is that but a minute, we haven't seen balls like that since.
But he was killed in the ring!