The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #128 - Red Dawn
Episode Date: June 15, 2013WOOOOLVERIIIINES! 0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 36:26 - North Korea would've gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!36:27 - 37:47- Final judgments.37:48- 43:47 - A ...word from our sponsor.43:48 - 57:32 - Flop House Movie Mailbag57:33 - 1:02:11 - The sad bastards recommend.1:02:12 - 1:03:34 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.
Transcript
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In this episode we discuss the teens take down the North Korean Army movie Red Dawn. Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy. Hey Dan McCoy. I am Stuart Wellington.
Hey guys, I'm Elliot Kaylin. Nice to meet you. You know, really get out of here. Oh, I've got to go. We're replacing you. Footsteps, footsteps, footsteps, door slams, car, plane, rocket ship.
Crackle, crackle, crackle, cellophane.
Cellophane, I guess I should say it's fire.
Cornstarch, cornstarch, it's snowing outside.
It was in the winter of 1812.
But I, for, wait, what are we doing?
This is our, this is our old time radio comedy podcast, right?
This is...
Yeah, it's called the flop house.
What are we doing on the flop house, Dan?
We talk about a band.
I'm dick around and make a garbage.
We watch a bad movie directly before the podcast.
Plus, do you watch the movie directly before the podcast?
Always.
Always.
We are coming fresh off the movie.
Yeah.
And we watched it literally less than eight minutes
ago not even had time to towel off nope we're still all sweaty from the movie if we seem crazy
or angry it's because we just watched the movie and what movie made us angry this night we watched
a little movie called red dawn rated R rated pp 13 with the original red dawn we did not watch
the original now I was I was just appointed that this was not the movie where Prairie Dawn from Sesame Street
is a serial killer.
Red Dawn.
Lost me.
You lost me.
No.
Come on, red dawn.
It's weirder than the red dawn assours joke.
Earlier it's not.
Or comedy.
It was dinosaurs in Vade America.
Yeah.
It's Joseph Stalin or Saurus Rex.
All right.
Well, he is where you lose me the idea that a dinosaur
ran a soros Rex idea that a dinosaur ascribes to any particular ideology
They're brains were the size of a walnut if they don't work together
How are the tyrannosaurus is gonna scratch their back or brush their teeth?
Collective yeah, I get it all right. There's got to be some kind of a dinosaur that does that for them
The means of production need to be in the tiny hand of the T-Rex
Yeah, two finger hand of the T-Rex
Whereas like I don't know brontosaurus are used for I don't know mining a quarry or something
But yeah, brontosaurus is he's reminding you for it, and then you slide down their backs when it's quittin time
Okay, one that's from a cartoon and two you're both morons they're called the patasauris.
It's true. The Bratasaurus was a palsy. A misnamed incorrect speech.
Yeah, this has been Elliot's Dorgie Dinosaur. This has been the fossil house with me paleontologists,
Elliot Gavel. And the, and her own dinosaur house, Elliot Gavel.
Elliot Gavel. That house, that house, I'll be paying it in knowledge.
Save it, don't ask.
My last name is Elie.
So we watched the movie Red Dawn tonight.
Sarah Palin's favorite movie.
It might be.
It's probably that or like Steel Magnolia's
or like the hands of Dr. Orlal for some shit.
I don't know.
Pirates of Caribbean.
Pirates of the Caribbean, yeah.
She likes...
I'm legend of the lost dinosaur. She likes shag. She's a big fan of shag
She might be a big fan of shag
And who isn't it's about a dance or day
Back on track there, but no, so I don't we watch the remake that which came out last year
Yeah, yeah sound the shelf set on the shelf for a little while partly as a result of a couple different things
MGM the production company, I guess.
Metro Golden Mayor.
Just declare a fire.
Golden Mayor.
It's not Golden Mayor.
You're so wrong in everything tonight.
Metro Golden after Samuel Golden and Mayor after Leo G. Mayor.
Metro is from Metro Studios.
What?
What movie company did I buy stockings? So wait a minute.
You watch stocking Metro Golden Mayor,
the sequel to Golden Palace,
which was the sequel to The Golden Girls.
So that's this movie's studio that blanch,
Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia opened up
to make movies about Randy old ladies.
They're basically about the cocoons.
Yeah, the cocoon three, the sexifying,
and best exotic
marigold hotel. All right. So red dawn. Is that on the set on the shelf for while MGM,
the parent company, filed for bankruptcy? The movie, movie studio with a tiger right
or no line. It's a line. Do you guys know anything about anything?
It's a podcast that specializes in wrong facts about MGM. I know I get I get I'm a pet And I'm playing on target food probably
That's why I have money troubles and then there's lion died because they're a lion and not a tiger
Are you completely different food?
Their body doesn't absorb nutrients the same way so it ate all the tired food and it didn't do any good okay so red on
the parent company filed for bankruptcy after production of this movie but I
think before post-production and before release
it's not a shelf for a while it's a movie about an invasion of the United
States by a foreign country originally that country was China
uh... but they realized China is the i think second largest film market in the world from yeah
I mean our man three famously added extra China China centric scenes to pander to the Chinese audience
or to panda if you will
Panda to them do it. Well, they did add that scene where I
You eat a bit and you don't have sex and don't Well, they did add that scene where I
Don't have sex and don't resist
Yeah, so it's not like they're keeping panes of their house and shit
Has settled down doesn't get out as much as it used to you know just
Panas are married for a while. There's sex life dies off. They've let themselves go. They're already fat bears.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace.
They get morbidly at peace. They get morbidly at peace. They get morbidly at peace. They get morbidly at peace. They get morbidly at peace. Nor the spelt notiness of the black bear Yeah, let's you go black bear
And of course polar bears are just fucking they'll do anything. Yeah polar bears. You just know that slots of the animal kingdom
They're just open to whatever so red is you may have noticed audience
We don't have red dawn made very little impression on us. It is red dawn drove us mad
So originally it was China who are the villains but realizing that China is a huge
Huge
It's what Stewart take away from it post production. They actually changed the movies that it was about North Korea invading America
Which is stupid for two reasons stupid and racist well
Racist that you just swap out Chinese people that you can just set you can dub in North Korea
Do you Korean and Change the CGI flags.
Well, the underlying assumption is one, all Asians look alike,
and which we do all the time anyway in our movies.
Like we have Japanese and Chinese actors playing Asian of all types of games.
You're like Joel Gray and that movie, that uh...
Well, that's yellow face, that's everything, that's the James Bond villain.
But yeah, I mean... For years, you had white actors playing Asian characters and it was very offensive, That movie. Well, that's yellow face. That's everything. That's the James Bond villain.
But you know, that's, I mean, for years you had white actors playing Asian characters and
it was very offensive.
But now it's just like, we've made the step in progress that at least we have the right
continent that the actors are from.
But they, this, what's stupid about it is that also is that, and this is a point that's
we made before, North Korea.
And I'll, boy, will I have egg on my face if North Korea invades and conquers the US before
this episode shows up.
But it is very unlikely that North Korea, a country with-
When America is using the flop house as the voice of resistance.
Exactly.
A very small country.
A very small country.
It's been isolated globally.
It has one main supporter, which is China, that it's dependent on, and it has no food
for a lot of the people in it.
Throughout the 90s it went through massive starvation and hasn't totally recovered from
that.
So like the idea that it literally was a huge attack.
Huge air invasion with paratroopers and immediately cripples and takes over the country
is astounding.
Also somehow, somehow like within like, it seems like days or a day of a meeting, they have tanks
on the ground in the US.
Apparently they have crippled, they've had this blackout, they've crippled us with
paratroopers, and then they have, they speed-boated these tanks across the ocean.
And yet, all you see as a result, we should go back to making the movie.
All you see is the result mainly of the North Korean occupation
is a lot of roadblocks and a lot of posters
that they've put up.
So they put their post-rebased war.
So when I mean, the North Korea is a poster-based society
to a certain extent, but it's like North Korean vated
and conquered America and then it like really
wanted to promote its band.
So it just plastered posters all over the walls.
Oh, come out.
There's also free beer for an hour, well, 15 minutes.
But also, I'll tell you a trick
I'm gonna leave in there.
Then you're around and up and stick them
in shipping containers.
So you know, for the re-education,
those passive aggressive re-education camp ever,
what we'll get to that.
The reason I'll say that is because there's a big billboard
in the re-education camp that says,
you deserve to be here.
Which is such a, is like what your mom would put up.
They're, you can't, they need a billboard to think about what you do.
Yeah.
Do you really think you need to eat that?
That's another poster.
You're gonna ruin your appetite, yeah.
So we open up, we're in Spokokane washington and we're introduced to the
echo that's the nukes ropolis bustling
small city
and we're just to the echoed family that's christmas worth as
echoed guy number one and jet echoed who it just came back from the war
rock
and air and echoed is to face
but note is that his younger brother and two carhart is two-faced. No, his younger brother is-
It's point two characters.
His younger brother who is a football star at the high school,
and their dad who is the sheriff played by an actor who looks like Chris Cooper but is not.
He's playing Chris Cooper, playing this character.
He's a character you may remember from the Dark Knight Rises as the Senator.
Bane.
Senator Bane.
No, he was not a Senator.
I don't think you understood that, my friend. You remember that part where Bane was elected you was not a sinner. I don't think you understood that part
We're being related to the center and then he's been all this time with fundraiser
It's so hard to walk within the system
What we need is a comprehensive
Philbox before actually don't know that they're gonna be able to hear us when we cover in our mouths
The phone microphone, but we were doing bang as a senator anyway. I rise in protest, Batman, to this vote.
Anyway, so forth.
Yeah, good, good comedy move.
I know.
You can imagine other jokes.
Yeah, it's right for yourself.
Play along it home.
Call Batman and ask him why he hasn't provided the funds.
I'm Bane and I approve this message.
Children of the night.
Le, he should have been a vampire.
Anyway, so we're interested in these characters
at a football game, high school football game.
The younger brother.
For the team, the Wolverines.
The team, the Wolverines.
The younger brother has a girlfriend.
One of their friends has a video podcast.
And another friend is black. And that is the extent of the characterization
For the movie for the most part and there's a lady whose Tyra colette from Friday night lights Who is get away from football? Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no burrito on the ground. There was a point, they're all hanging out at a bar and Stuart and I looked at each other.
We both were like, is this battleship? Did the trick us into watching battleship again?
And yet, without the best scene when John Carter goes in, it steals a burrito from a store?
Then anyway, I don't remember.
Yeah, when John Carter does that.
We jumped really high through the window, right?
Yeah.
It steals the burrito from Tars' Tarkies.
It's fucking easy.
You see Earth's gravity, so it can steal burritos really well.
Well.
Is the R.E.L.O. Sun gives him burrito stealing powers?
Exactly.
They're at a bar hanging out after the game that they lost.
And the power goes out.
There's been a blackout.
That's weird.
Uh-oh, but they don't really.
It doesn't affect them that much.
But until the next morning, when North Korean troops are literally just fallen out of the sky, a blackout. Uh oh, but they don't really, it doesn't affect them that much, but until
the next morning when North Korean troops are literally just fallen out of the sky, I
mean they're parachuting down, it's not like. That would be a very ineffective
invasion. It's not like the beginning of the happening
that those guys just follow up. They just said, shout about your human can.
We couldn't afford parachutes, so hopefully some of you will make it.
The first wave of you will break the other people's fall.
We'll get a pile of three or four dead guys, and that'll serve as a cushion for the next
guys who finally pull the invasion off.
It's Clyde Barker's in the hills, the cities.
So it's like the one big, it's the one big, it's the one big effect shot in the movie
is this CGI guys like parachuting down and then playing
Frashing and and that was the shot that was in all the trailers. Yeah leading you to believe that all the whole movie is gonna be awesome
Huge effect stuff, but there's very few actually one of the things that I would say I liked about it
If I liked the movie at all, which I didn't is that there is a fit there isn't that much CGI in the movie
didn't is that there is a fit there isn't that much CGI in the movie which is nice that's the thing you got computers use a man
is the carians are the invaders stole
the movie opens with a montage of some real news footage some fake news footage
of america's economies collapsing were sending troops everywhere russian vades
Georgia and north korea's amping up and there's literally a CGI shot of a CGI North Korean flag being raised to
a flagpole with other Asian flags since like, come on seriously it was cheaper to do that than to just shoot a flag being raised in a flagpole
Come on people but uh, so there's this big CGI army of power troopers falling down
America is instantly crippled, but our teen heroes, I call them the kid commandos, led by Chris Hemsworth and his family and a bunch of their buddy.
Yeah, you may know Chris Hemsworth as Thor or as the Hunter on the Huntsman from join the Huntsman or Kevin from the Kevin Wood.
He's not playing the Kevin.
He played John Kevin.
He's his partner, Dirk Woods.
And they have sex at one point. That's why it's the Kevin in the woods Wow, but he's also a Christ figure
That's the JC yeah exactly
I don't think you get it all right. We all on let's go so anyway
What I'm recommending tonight is the gay porn top bill Christ Ali already Kevin the woods
So he cares someone's urinary track infection at one point by turning it into bees
What?
That would make it so much worse!
Steward knows what I'm talking about.
Yeah, he's right Ali.
He's listening.
Is this because I did, what is I'm Jewish?
I don't understand. I missed the story of Christ when he was a. He's listening. Is this because I did what the Jewish I don't know.
I missed the story of Christ.
When he has a year and a try to fix it,
but he's just in someone's head.
There's a fire.
There's a fire.
There's a fire burning inside you.
And it's the green mile.
Oh, I see.
He turned it into locusts.
Yeah, that's what it was.
And but you made it sound like he said like boom,
the infection in your inside you is now bees. No, we're welcome. The other said like boom the infection and you're inside you was now bees
One these are bees inside me at two I didn't realize I had
Like giving you to you. I won't bring back your stupid bees
You T.I. won't bring back your stupid bees.
Okay. Oh, there's so many pros and cons.
Yeah, I'm just kidding.
Guys, that's it.
So the kids escape in a car chase,
and the North Koreans are hapless to catch them.
Which, most of the chase them just drive away.
That's true.
They get away pretty early,
and then they're just driving over bumps,
but it's shot as if they're in trouble.
And there's one North Korean guy who you see a close up of.
So you know, he's like the leader of the bad guys. I don't know that he ever gets a real a full name character personality
He is just the single North Korean face of the evil that we are being taken over by and this evil is expressed mainly
He is the yellow man. Yeah, exactly. I'm pretty sure that it's like general show or something
because we made that, like it's John Cho from, you know,
Oh yeah, yeah.
Oh yeah, maybe they call that.
That classic joke.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But just doing some riffs,
riffing on names.
That's Harold.
Let's us check it out.
Yeah.
Anyone back?
I left for a minute.
I think it was you and it did in yourself.
I didn't get up, but my spirit left my body.
And now just returned.
So they go to a cabin, they hold up in the cabin for a night,
and they find something.
Again, Chris Hamstworth should know better
than to go on a cabin with a wadz.
So he's already been in the cabin in the woods.
He's already been a huntsman, he knows woods are dangerous.
And he's already been thore, just hit the North Koreans
with your hammer, dude.
Yeah.
Fucking dumb. But actually, I don't know how many of those movies he had made when he shot this since this. And he's already been Thor just hit the North Koreans with your hammer dude. Yeah fucking dumb
Actually, I don't know how many of those movies he had made when he shot this since this the previous was delayed for a while
Well, that I feel that's like the story of his career because
Cabin the woods you know sat around for a long time too a much better movie obviously, but I realize that yeah
So Chris Ham's worth was destined for stardom
Five years I mean he now he's not Thor. He's yeah Yeah, so Chris Hamesworth was destined for Stardom five years ago.
I mean, he now he's now Thor, he's in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's a big show.
He is a big show.
Everyone's favorite Marvel movie, Thor.
Well, no, but you and I were talking about,
we both agree that he was probably the best thing
and that's Snow White and the Hudson movie.
Oh, by far, but that's,
he was the only one with any personality.
Yeah.
I don't know about Kristen Stewart, she was great.
Kristen Stewart. Kristen Stewart.
Kristen Stewart.
Another Christ.
Yeah.
No, she is terrible.
First off gorgeous.
What's weird, a Christmas.
Snowy, not a minute.
Yeah, the person in the land.
Does play to Kristen Stewart's strength
in that she seems to be floating through the movie
in a coma the entire time.
Confused.
Confused and just kind of like vaguely sleepwalking
and not saying much and just looking like a strange,
like a maciated figure and weird ear shape.
Wow, it's really good.
It's really judgey.
Come on.
The movie making her wet most of the time,
really plays to her strengths.
Whoa.
My point, my point, my point.
Don, let's just go through.
There's a lot of fun red dog.
A friend, there's an argument between Chris Hemsworth
and one of their buddies. And he runs off off tips off the North Koreans to where these kids are
hanging out. North Koreans come by with their dads and the sheriff not the
North Korean.
It's taking father to war day. Having honor in front of your parents is a big thing
in our culture. So just let us conquer you okay we're really embarrassed take your dad to a more day
you'll take your dad to work days the thing when you take your retired dad
it's your office your dad is I did this for 65 years and your dad's like just let me
die I should be at work right now why am I missing a work to sit here and watch you? Well, let me get you some coloring books. No, I don't want that
Is there a recliner I can map in possibly somewhere to put it in word any who
That's their dad not Chris Cooper says he there's he there. He want him to say come out surrender
And he says I want you to do what I would have done
Fight back and kill this son of a this piece of shit or something like that and they shoot not
And this is this is the scene that everyone remembers from the act the original red dawn when her eating stanton gets killed
But it's more exciting because he's actually in like an internment camp at the time like he's like clinging to the the fence
Yeah, he's just in like a field and not just in the front yard he's like clinging to the fence. Yeah, here they're just in like a field.
And not just in the front yard of a house.
It's not even really a camp house.
And we haven't really seen him kill that many people
at this point.
That's the thing, it's an incredibly bloodless victory.
They've killed on, you know,
well, that's the North Koreans credit, guys.
Yeah, that's true.
They're a human converse.
You know what, the trains finally run it on time.
Yeah.
Some ways packed.
Some ways, they're in which way. Well, the trains are really the villains of this you know, way back. So we say in which
the kids are really the villain to this.
So the kids decide to go into hiding and they become a terrorist paramilitary group called
the Wolverines.
Chris, after they're trained by jumping off of cliffs, they've trained mainly by jumping
off a cliff and pointing water guns at each other.
And then they it's a relatively boring montage.
It's they don't even have an 80s pop power song behind the training montage.
And then they get guns and money from what they refer to as like friends.
And they pull off instantly like a series of incredibly successful, insurgent attacks
on the North Koreans.
The North Koreans are caught flat-footed literally every time for the most part
and
it's literally just a bunch of like six or seven kids
shooting the hell out of the soldiers and it gets to a point where i'm almost
kind of feeling bad for the koreans because there's totally outclassed by these
high school students but also sure you pointed this out that in addition to
like being like
like the way you think about this movie is is it is
at a both a militia person's fantasy, but also
a pro-terrorism film.
Totally.
Oh, what's the root for the insurgents?
Yeah, it's a great idea.
Teach terrorists, they can put bombs under skateboard, then they'll just blow up all these
checkpoints with them.
Yeah, like it was saying.
The way that there's three ways that the North Korean occupation displays itself. One is checkpoints at every street corner it looks like.
The second is they give a lot of speeches through megafine.
They're really checking to make sure they're not won't be enough.
I guess so. Making sure they can start sagging or how?
That's really big. No crack can show in North Korea.
And the third way is they have an intern camp that's like just barbed wire around a bunch
of shipping containers and people just hang around in our jumpsuits.
They don't seem to do anything.
And that's where they have the big billboard that says you deserve to be here.
And yeah, and so much.
One of the got the football players girlfriend is thrown in this internment camp.
We don't know why.
What did she do? We don't find out. She has non-regulation eyebrows.
She does a very bushy eyebrows.
For woman that's getting in that blonde, her eyebrows are oversoaring.
Very dark.
Eventually they try to sabotage a speech that would kill the main commander.
You're talking about something that happens after a daring daylight raid on a subway
sandwich shop.
I thought this was before the subway sandwich shop.
No, I'm sorry.
Well, they steal a bucket full of every kind of so.
One of the, during one of the,
a suicide bucket of soda.
One of the dozens of flawlessly executed amateur terrorist attacks.
The, or sorry, patriotic insurgent rise them up.
They go, they stop into a subway sandwich.
Well two of them like just find themselves
holding up in a subway sandwich.
They run away from the soldiers,
and they end up in a subway sandwich shop.
They immediately demand bread and sandwiches
from the guy at the counter.
Yeah, like two on a chicken.
And uh,
it was a bucket to put so that you just see one of them
take a bucket and put it up against the soda dispenser.
Yeah, that's probably the mop bucket.
Oh, yeah. So that like five or six different sodas see one of them take a bucket and put it up against the soda to spit. Yeah, that's probably the mop bucket. No, it's a clean bucket.
Yeah.
So that like five or six different sodas
rock pouring into this bucket.
So yeah, this is obviously easy.
They should have cut you like all of the wolverines
with straws into the one bucket.
That's the same thing.
Well, I imagine Tim trying to drink out of the bucket
and just fills all over him.
Oh, man, my sodas.
This is my only shirt.
But I love this.
But this is the fact that they will drink a big mop bucket
full of soda mixed up soda is the only sense we get
that they are suffering it all during this,
that they have any hardship.
They live in an abandoned mineshaft
and they're so clean, their clothes are so well ironed,
they have beautiful skin and hair.
Well, what I was wearing a Kiki scarf right?
It's after they finish their amazing meal of subway sandwiches and bucket soda.
They're having this conversation about all the things they miss.
They're all looking around. They all look like they just took a shower.
They're all well-shaved. They're waiting they're getting ready for a cool guy. They look like they're waiting for the Avacromby photoshoot to start.
Yeah.
In this abandoned mineshaft. They, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they Yeah, there are some blessed terrorists. I'll tell you what there was something really adorable in Dan
when they ran into the thrift shop and Dan went ooh
If he was gonna get to visit the thrift shop and maybe buy some old house
It was more interesting than anything else. I'd seen it screen up until that point
It's like oh look. They've got a whole rack of like CDs. I wonder what they got there
I get those for two bucks probably.
Sure.
That's it.
That's an entire afternoons worth of organizing your CDs after that.
Yeah.
So they have a bunch of successful rates, then they have a big, they're trying to blow
up a big speech and they mess up, they get caught.
And because the younger brother breaks ranks just, yeah, to rescue your friends.
And rescues her.
But by doing so, one of their numbers killed.
His name, I don't remember.
I remember he is Latino, and that's about it.
They don't give him much personality beyond that.
He is the first of the casualties the Wolverines will face, ultimately, up to three.
Three?
I think.
I think.
Die.
And one of them is left at the end, but we'll get to that.
Anyway, that gets screwed up and they go back to their hideout.
Their hideout gets attacked by the Koreans.
They find a, they run into a bunch of former Marines who are on the run trying to catch
up with this legendary group, the Wolverines.
Who in what's his face?
Who is it?
Including the comedian from Watchman.
Yeah.
Uh, uh, uh,
Mixed TV.
No, no, he was not, no, he played DINNY.
DINNY from Grey's Anatomy.
DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY,
DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY,
DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY,
DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY,
DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY,
DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY,, DINNY, DINNY, DINNY, DIN I have the fucking like the guy who was, or Chris O'Donnell.
I think Chris O'Donnell was McSteamy.
You're making that up.
McDreamy was Pat of Gempsies.
He was on the CSI.
I know who McDreamy is.
All right.
Okay, you don't get to a podcast about no McDreamy.
But guys, guys, who was McCreamy?
Yeah.
That's a nice pancake from Carvelle.
Whoever he is, he saw it's delicious.
But he's gonna go straight to my thighs.
Oh, yeah, I think we're going to talk about that.
Yeah, we've got to talk about firing Dan.
And I say that being about to make this joke,
my favorite character is, makes screaming.
Yeah.
Gripkeeper loves Grace Anatomy, or is he called it Grace Anatomy?
Because it's still a scary thing.
Like it's a book about corpses and stuff.
Okay, so Jeff Reedy Morgan showed up.
Yeah, who looks like me.
Happy Arbardem.
Happy Arbardem and Robert Down Jr. had like a little baby.
And I say, no, I say if Robert Down Jr.
And Nancy Gainy had a baby.
Yes, yes. So he's called much cool dreamy or whatever dream no
steam MC downing MC skat steamy sure
and and all agree on that things
opposite to steam so they meet up with
these uh
well Ellie is distracted by his part
for a second wife texted me for a
second but just to tell me that uh
a character from the wire was on
Veronica Morris in the episode she's watching no that's worth that's Distracted by this part for a second but just to tell me that a character from the wire was on Veronica
In the episode she's watching no, that's worth that's worth the break. We really pause that
So they meet up with these Marines who then say okay, we are here to help you Wolverines
We have a mission. They've been communicating the North Koreans are communicating with these green radio cases
We they've been communicate the north karens are communicating with these green radio cases. We we like the marines show up and I like we have them a guffin for you. It's we others 30 minutes left in the movie has been lacking focus. We finally have a thing for
you to do after the non stop nonsense of just and let look we've got like an hour of action
scenes which sounds exciting but is not. It's so low stakes and not exciting and the
only thing I like about it. Everything is action nothing is action. Thank you and in
out actions outlawed. And if action Jackson the Jackson is action. And I action therefore I am.
You're your math works. That's the trans, that's the action. Action Jackson transit of property.
So they say we got to go. got to be in super successful at this point
they've been in a bunch of military trained snipers following them around killing
any possible bad guy who might kill them but if anything the snipers are worse
for them of course they're terrible there to end so they go on kids
and adults do yeah
you should have called this movie warfare no adults.
That's an that's an equation I can get. That's not an equation. Sure. Kids equals a rule.
Slash adults equals we need to start our line of novelty folders that we sell the kids.
We'll wait outside of schools and we'll sell that shit. That will be creepy.
You guys just waiting outside of schools, staying the kids.
No, Dan, I'm not aware of a trench coat.
I saw them all the folders in there.
And we'll sell Modager and Scout.
And you'll be videotaping the whole thing for your commercials.
Thanks, man.
The folders will be strapped to my boxer shorts
so I can keep my hands free for my presentation.
And you'll just drive over there in your windowless van.
It sounds great.
With kids stuff I'm written on the X outside
At least one of the SS wait there's only one S but that one S is backwards. It's gotta be backwards and written like it's in crammed
It's called kids are us
Like you forgot the name of the store, halfway through what you are.
Now, where is how you pronounce the backwards R?
It's like out like a schwa.
You know, schwa.
That's what I mean.
Anyway, so they go on this mission
to get this radio box, everything gets screwed up.
More people die and one of their friends gets,
it seems stabbed, but really
they put a tracer under him.
So when they go back to their hideout after a successful mission in which they kill everybody,
basically.
Crack some brews, slap some...
They're cracking brews and slapping booze, I don't know.
Maybe, I guess, that'd be weird.
They are attacked again.
That's the one moment where the two brothers who have been feuding this whole time. They've had each other's friends all the time.
They've been a fudent and a fussing.
They stop all that and they become, I guess, friends or...
They say, I may not like you, but damn it, I respect you.
Yeah.
Actually, he doesn't say that.
There's a slow clap and he walks out of the room and then spoiler alert closures.
And don't you forget about me, please. And then you get shot and kill.
Chris Hemsworth gets shot in the head
right after he reconciles with his brother.
Uh oh.
He dies with a smile on his face.
And they've been attacked by Russian agents.
We've been working with the North Koreans.
This is a fought complication that is unnecessary
and makes no sense.
Yeah.
But they're fighting again, the Wolverines narrowly escape with some of the marine guys and
then
they
Something what happened I just keep doing Wolverine stuff like that's it. Just keep doing what they're doing man younger brother
It gives a speech to a bunch of
Possible Wolverines the same speech that his brother gave to them earlier and it ends with an assault on the
Reeducation in term at facility with the implication that
Everything's gonna be okay now. Yeah, I think or has just started, but I think they're gonna win
Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna stamp out this North Korean menace and now one thing that Dan did like by this movie is people are constantly jumping from high heights and not hurting their legs and knees.
And there's a lot of guys who shoot other guys in the knees. They're jumping way far across giant buildings like with huge caps and oh,
they're knees it was most moogles.
We're supposed to believe that our knees are magically gonna be okay.
What kind of what what what
I mean
But
I'm like
I'm supposed to buy this movie about a North Korean invasion of Spokane Washington caught off by a bunch of rowdy kids with magic
Knees, I mean come on
Everything up to that I buy should be called the magic knees squad
I don't know they called red meat red knees because their knees are gonna be sore after all that jumping
Let me tell you there's music and me sore and swollen. That was why in the training montage
They're doing all that jumping off jumping off a hill dangerous. They do they do not do that
but this movie is
so
so dumb and so dull and it is non-stop action in such a dull way and there's so many explosions and there's so many gunshots
And yet it is so boring somehow and it's you know, I want it and it's such it would be cliche of me to be say like
It's because we don't care about the characters and there's no emotional
Stays but we don't like it come a lot of things down to that. They cut out
Everything that they cut out was character development
They cut out as we were talking during the, any sense of what it's like to live
in occupied Spokane.
Like we don't see.
And even what happened in the rest of the, like, yeah, what's happening there?
What you ever find out was that our American army, ever there, like it's kind of implied
in the beginning that the American army is overstretched overseas.
But you never see, you know, nothing happens.
It's just the paratroopers fall out of the sky and then the next minute the North Koreans
have control of Spokane and tanks and everywhere.
And there's nobody left to fight except these kids.
And there's one moment where the Marines say them, oh, well, there's still enough true
Americans around who are able to fight over there in the Southwest and along the Mexico
Texas border and Michigan and Montana and so
Militiaville, but basically all the malicious states, but it's like so what happened to the police?
Like in Spokane there seems to be one policeman and it's their dad and he gets shot in the head like you there's no sense of any
It's almost like the movie Henry portrait of a serial killer where there's no policeman basically in the home movie so Henry is just free to kill at whim except here it's North
Korea that's free I mean I would not have minded if there was a limited point of view would you
mind it if Michael Rucker played the entire country I was my order played every character if
America was invaded by an army of Michael Ruckers I would think it was great. Yeah, but I don't mind on a limited point of view.
Like if we see what only the characters in this town,
no, that's fine.
But the movie still cuts out the viewpoint
of anyone who's not in the Wolverines fighting
for their insurgent force.
And we have no sense of what the Koreans are up to.
Yeah, we don't know why they're doing it.
We don't know what they're doing. We don't know what it's like to live there. But even like, what's like the creans are up to. Yeah, we don't know why they're doing it. We don't know what they're doing.
We don't know what it's like to live there.
But even like what's among the most successful movies
with limited points of view, I would say is,
maybe the most successful discipline is night of living dead.
Yeah.
You have those characters in that house.
They see stuff on TV, but otherwise,
it's just what's happening around them.
And you get such a great sense of their place in the world
and what they're going through,
and it's so tense and dramatic,
without a shot to a,
it never cuts to the president being like,
what's with all these zombies?
We can't handle it.
But they can't do that here.
To give a more recent example,
I would say children men is a,
it's like children men does a great job of it too.
To make it claustrophobic
and actually play up the insanity of actual violence, as opposed to dudes just fucking new somebody saying all over the place.
And also giving you a sense that these characters are lost in a world where they don't know
everything that's going on around them.
Jepton world they never made.
Jepton world they never made. But you get the sense that there is something going on in
the world around them.
Even if they don't know it.
We made it pretty sick for in that abated mind-jewd.
That's true.
It didn't though.
They cleared out all the my bloody valentines.
Yeah.
I don't forget it.
Anytime.
Please, if you're going to go into the band in my jet,
please check for my bloody valentines first.
But it's.
Get them out of there.
This field, you know, we've said this before,
that it feels like they took the outline for a movie
and then shot it as if it was a script.
But that's what this kind of feels like.
Is it feels like one of those Robert Rodriguez scripts you hear about where he just puts in the
action sequences and like vague descriptions of scenes and it's like a 45 50 page script for a
whole movie, but he knows how to flesh it out. No, it's not a lot at all, but here they just didn't,
there's not there's not a lot of movie here. There's a lot of stunt scenes. Yeah,
what a movie. So let's flash forward to final judgments.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
So let's flash forward to final judgments.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie.
A lot of movie. A lot of movie. A lot of movie. A lot of movie. A lot of movie. uh... yeah this is a bad bad movie despite having actors i like it like christmas worth jephardin morgan and
that guy looks like chris kooper
it was boring it was boring when the most exciting moment for me in the
home movie
was during the end credits when someone the credits was named july casemith
and i thought wait a minute is that the actress in all those gym when arski
movies i better look at the free when we talk with july casemith that was
when that was the most exciting part of the movie.
It's a boring movie.
So I'll say bad bad all.
Did she move lighting?
She was, yeah, while she was doing what was that sand design?
I think it was, I think it was assistant set direction.
Yeah, while she was set directing, she might have been topless.
Oh, head to the scene.
Topless and possibly bottomless.
We don't know.
You know, she may have said, does that decorate it
from a bubble bath the whole time knows uh...
other women in it but i i will say this
even if you are a big militia not looking for some militia porn and some
right-wing
gun survivalist fantasy porn go to the original man get the original red on get
something that has the crazy craft stamp of john milious
and not this kind of like gun for higher stuff.
Stuart, it looks like he's got a little something to say.
Hey guys, I just want to touch on for a second.
I just want to mention our friends over Tivo.
We here at the Flop House make a lot of use out of DVR technology and using the internet for movies.
I don't know about you. I've
multiple times tried to record stuff at home and had difficulty because I'm already recording
something or already watching something. Well, the great thing about Tivo is you can watch
a lot of it as four tuners so you can record multiple things while watching on your iPad,
your iPhone. You could be, I don't know what work watching stuff
while you're in the bathroom, who knows?
Yeah, I'm watching.
Let's say it's Sunday, the night when every television show
is on apparently.
You got time, water, cable.
At best, you can record two things.
Two, if you would like, like me,
Anthony Bourdain, parts unknown, Game of Thrones,
Mad Men, Bob's Burgers, et cetera,
you got to pick and choose,
because they're gonna overlap and cancel each other out.
You can't do it. But not with your TI, VO. But with T-Vo, you can do it and choose, because they're going to overlap and cancel each other out. You can't do it.
But not with your TIVO.
But with TVO, you can do it.
Unlike time Warner.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And if you like movies, you don't have to worry about, say, time Warner TVO or DVR rather,
time Warner DVR.
Sorry, only TVO is TVO.
Where you record like two movies in your box is full.
Yeah, because TVO's got way more space.
Yes.
I don't know with the normal DVR box. You can only record a couple of HD shows
before it's all full.
T-Vo gives you access to things like Hulu, Netflix,
things that other services don't provide.
You don't have to buy an Xbox just to be able
to watch Netflix nowadays on your TV.
Stuart, isn't there a special promotion
that T-Vo is running?
There is a special promotion that T-Vo's doing right now.
I'd love to hear about that.
Visitors to TVO.com can get $25 off a new TVO Premier unit, a P4 or an XLR DVR when they
use the special promo code.
Wait, get a pen and paper, right?
This time hold on.
Get that pen and paper.
Hold on.
Get it?
Do you have a pen and paper?
Write it down.
Okay.
Now write it down.
We haven't said it yet. The promo code is ATC. Now you're right.
I need to write that down. It's so easy to remember because that's all things
comedy. Oh, that's great. So the letter is ATC
capitals preferably. I don't know if it's case sensitive. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
And that's available to all November 1st and what website would FES?
It would be at tvo.com. What website was that? Tvo, period, come.
It's so easy to remember because it's the name of the company
with dot com at the end.
And it gives you $25 off.
It's not tv, it's not tvo.edu, tvo's educational website.
Yeah.
Tvo.com.
Or tvo.exx, which the list said the better.
Tvo.com.
And also, all things comedy,
that's a podcast network is it not?
Yes, our friends over at all things comedy
for some reason endorse us because we're part of it.
Good thinking.
So head over to allthingscomedy.com
download a couple of podcasts,
maybe ours, but I think you might have already done that.
And then go to
tvo.com To get a Tivo. Yeah, or at least a discount on that Tivo
So guys with the promo code atc. This is the point of the podcast
Where?
Sexy all of a sudden we answer letters letters listeners would gun letters letters from listeners
Oh God, what kind of letters letters from listeners? Oh God. What kind of letters letters from listeners?
Maybe they've got a question. Maybe they need advice. Maybe it's trouble or maybe it's mice
Just drop us a line. I don't worry. We've got the time for your letters. What kind of letters?
They're letters from you. Oh, so this letter, it's from Steve,
AKA James Lasting with Held, that makes sense.
I don't remember the name.
That makes sense in a second.
He says, it's been nearly two years since I last wrote in
with the story about Stuart Wellington,
nearly remembering my name at the first 92 wide
try back of show.
That was hilarious.
Some leave that was the show when legendarily Dan's pizza was forgotten.
Sometimes, in my most private moments, I still sometimes think of myself as Steve.
I must admit, I've been remiss in my Flauthaus fandom as in the intervening two years I've
left Brooklyn for the Wendy City of Chicago
Now happily settled into a new job as a photographer at a woman's fashion company.
Well, it's like a sitcom.
Sounds terrible.
I decided to load up the recent Alex Cross episode to see if the magic had continued in my absence
Surrounded by fashionable female stylists working diligently at their desk. I prepared myself to enjoy
Dan's pleasing baritone, Elliot's barrage of facts, and Stewart's repeated interjections
about ding-dongs through the privacy of my headphones. I believe it was when Dan clarified
that Crang's penis was actually ejaculating on the girl's feet versus his robot penis,
which is simply urinating. Why should I remember that?
That I had to beat a hasty retreat to the bathroom, so it was to laugh, to like it
at a butter.
So it's to laugh desperately into a paper towel under no circumstances could I allow my
coerce to witness my laughing fit.
Because inevitably they'd ask, why are you laughing at it?
And you have to think fast to make up some shit.
Do you realize how impossible it would be to explain what
I was laughing at?
I don't think my corn fed Midwestern female fashion
used to coach co-workers would enjoy the idea of a double
dog to dick monster from dimension X violating some girl
through two separate sexual fetishes simultaneously.
I know they was violent.
Congratulations, gentlemen.
You made me laugh so hard.
I nearly lost my job. In any case, I know they was finally congratulating gentlemen. You made me last so hard and you really lost my job in any case
I wish you all a heartfelt congratulations on the continued success of your podcast and I wanted to offer condolences to down on his
Eximate knee injuries are particularly nasty brand of awful. I'm glad to hear you're on the mend your vaguely remember
Friend and span Steve aka James last name withheld now look well steve those are some kind words for dad
yeah thank you very much for listening again and
list is out there if you ever want to get your letter red you know the
you know it's just like how you're going to be on TV if you put up a sign that
says sports center is on the sporting event it was 90% the story 10% my name
but i also want to i want to eat your knee must be like a hundred years old
we've been hearing about it for a long time i want to have a look like when we started this
god it's only been three and a half months and so i say
it takes a year guys a year to recover but i wanted to object to a certain
thing in this which was that the idea that corn fed
chicago wins
the the third most popular city in the United States.
In my opinion, one of the three world class cities in New York.
For years, the second most popular would be somehow scantilized by the idea of this crank.
I don't know. I do think that's what I'm talking about.
I'm from Downstate, Illinois.
I'm from Downstate, Corn I'm from downstate Cornfed, real
cornfed Illinois. I read this email on the podcast and I was unscored. So look, these
are not flyover states people. These people have their own. I think what Dan's trying
to say is, these are lonely states. They get up to a lot of craziness because there's
no one else around.
Dan has had sex with corn and sex with animals that eat corn.
He's eating corn while animals have sex with him.
I've been ejaculated on by corn.
I've been peed on by corn.
Do you think this double dick crane came from?
Mo with my phone for a little while.
This is still it's time to leave.
So this next email.
You may or the other, sir.
This next email is entitled Next emails entitled Cranggate
Dear flappers what a great podcast. I don't have anything to spare you to say about any of you
I'm like the other letter writers whom I was regard as pathetic in grades. Wow
Wow, I love watching bad movies with groups of friends
But since I live in Japan American friends with the same interests are few and far between
Your podcast provides me.
Oh, that's a pretty fun.
We're the much needed surrogate to help save off homesickness, and for this I thank you.
My question is this, you all seem to have an excellent grasp of good screenwriting
and storytelling elements in general.
For an officer like me, what would you recommend reading as a primer on this sort of thing?
I can intuitively understand why you would talk about set up and pay off and establishing
characters, but it would be interesting to learn more in book form, Adam last name with
held.
So I would say that there are a lot of screenwriting books out there.
Most of them are terrible.
And I don't know. I'm wondering if this is an academic
interest or if because you want to write.
Most of them, I feel like are written in order to,
for people who want to write a screen.
Yeah, I mean, of the big ones,
story by Robert McKee is better than, like, say,
screenplay, but I said field, but they're not.
But there's also like, the writer's journey is pretty good.
I would say that my favorite book on the topic is actually the art of dramatic writing
by La Jolla House Egrig.
That's the other one I was going to mention.
The art of dramatic writing is a very good book.
And that was actually focused on sage writing but it is applicable to pretty much any kind
of writing. I'd also recommend the website
cahead caravan
yeah our friend mad bird and the show mad bird who it which is a very good
screenwriting site and he specializes in a lot of ways in structure
so if you're interested learning more about story structure
uh... that's one to check out
the website cahead caravan
the arid american is also good and I think the writer's journey is also good. So I hope for once we actually paid it forward.
We talked to somebody something, but this next one will erase that.
Yeah, the educational content will not exceed 0.001% of this podcast.
No, it's like insect parts and peanut butter.
And now we'll move on to the next email which says,
Hey Floppers, did somebody say Mr. Payback?
I had the.
I did a while ago.
I had the ecstatic honor of attending the New York press
screening of Mr. Payback.
As well as its predecessor, I'm your man.
Oh, I didn't know about that.
These films were presented in the interfilm system a process that gangs to
laser displays note not DVD laser disk to control system that tracked audience
clicks on the buttons of a control stick attach to the arm of each theater seat
you chose the story the controller only looked like a joystick aside from three
buttons lit and color-coded
to options presented on the screen,
it had no directional functions.
There are actually a few on set.
There's actually not based on a joystick,
but on the old popcorn tray.
There are a few unsettling parallels
between the Ugi Loves and Mr. Payback.
Yes, Chris Lloyd appears in both.
Similar.
Chris Lloyd, not Christopher Lloyd,
as we know him. He's got your cooler brother. Similar Chris Lloyd. Not Christopher Lloyd as we know him.
No, you're cooler brother. Similar Ooe loves payback,
encourages you to scream, shout, and otherwise carry on in order to convince
other audience members to select the choice you favor to that point in the
storyline. There is no explanation of what you should do if you didn't want
any of the options. And like Ooe loves, Mr. Payback made you wish you could travel
back in time to shoot Tom'sison before he invented the motion picture just to be sure such atrocities could
never be inflicted on innocent audiences.
Shoot him with our Tesla cannon.
It was clear that after the not successful I'm your man, romantic comedy, crime thing,
starring Kevin Seale, directed by Interfilm inventor Bob Bayjon with music by Joe Jackson.
The people behind the Interfilm system had worked to fix its flaws with Mr. Payback.
This included removing a one-man, one-vote interlock.
You can now click the button as many time as your entry finger could handle.
And more importantly, instead of a lame light comedy adventure told through a branching
story system, Mr. Payback told the episodic tale of a cyborg detective who was part inspector gadget, part Marquita
Sade, and the system allowed you to choose which
punishments he would inflict on his victims. I've blocked most of the details
from memory, but do remember the options at various points included Caval prod,
eat monkey brains, and for me the most memorable make it legal which meant that a
non-disabled person who parked his car in a handicap space got kneecaps now
come on again knee injury but I will also mention that a lot of these different
options are available on YouTube there are I don't know if they're full
everything in that it was in the movie but I have watched compilations on YouTube
of Mr. Payback scenes. And they are terrible.
Especially fun when you have an auditorium full of people
screaming, cattle prod or monkey brains
at the top of their lungs over and over.
Because mob mentality is always delightful, isn't it?
There's also this quote from Roger Ebert.
There were lots of small children in the audience.
I thought about asking one little girl
if she had voted for the paddle, the rod, or the cattle prod.
Mr. Payback was directed by Bob Gale who previously wrote 1941 and back to the future.
It was repulsive, tacky, sadistic, annoying, cheap, insulting, blurry, distasteful, lung-headed,
unfunny, cynical, and crass.
But I don't know.
Maybe you guys would like it.
That's from Dan last name with Ho.
The blurry may have been the projectionist problem.
Wow, the press screening.
Yeah, he was there at the birth of a new era, the birth and death.
Remember how that changed movies forever? Forever. I was like the jazz singer.
Now, I wanted to read tool for their, for their, choose your own adventure movies.
It was like William Castle's the tingle.
like William Castle's the Tingler. Man, so that is an exciting magical postcard on the edge.
Magical recount of our magical night.
So this email is titled Tom Noonin.
Okay, I'm in it.
I like it already.
Hey Tom, last name with it.
Tom Noonin, it starts, hey dude. Sounds like it Tom noonin. It starts hey dudes sounds like Tom noonin
Just had a bit of a bone to pick with Elliott here
I for one sir have zero problems with your nasally voice what I do have a problem with is you're using Tom noonin as an
Example of a man who cannot get Kate back in sale. Oh, have you know that I for one a solid 5.5 or 6 on a
Scale of cuteness have a major
crush on Tom Newton.
I would be damn lucky to have Tom Newton sincerely Sarah last name withheld.
PS, my favorite flopper is Dan so that plus loving Tom Newton on a physical level might
make Elliot and Stuart question my taste and fellas.
You are correct to do so. I mean Tom Newton was super buffing man hunter. So you know that's
Yeah, man's like a tall zero-gill or two
You can see why I get some dribbin in that big William Blake tattoo that they covered up for the actual like him
You like him like him
Lanky
Tom Newton's our man. I
Everyone's got their type and you know what?
Everybody has someone who loves them and I think that's great, but Tom Noonan has no chance.
Look, he back in sale, but he would have been great in total recall.
I would have loved it.
So, but I'm glad I'm glad.
When they're like,
I'm not in Tom Noonan, huh?
Yeah, I'm a real Tom Noonan type.
Yeah.
You have the same age as you.
You have the, give me a Tom Noonan type.
You have the Frankenstein style stance of a Tom Newton you could have also played
Philipsy Morehoffman super stretched out with two walking stick canes
as he didn't see Nick to key New York I carry the the creepy serial killer
Gravitas of a Tom Newton you also could be a guy who says he's working on a novel
after work, but
is in fact a loser and a failure. You know, in that movie, what happened was? That he
wrote? Yeah, sure. What? Nevermind. Thank you, Sarah. It's a really good movie. So this
last letter of the evening is titled, and an idea whose time has come. Greetings, floppers.
I don't know what they do yet. Greetings, floppers. I don't know what they do yet.
Greetings, floppers. Listen to the classic head of the family be disparaged by a
listener who I assume thought he had tuned into a premium companion. I feel the
need to not simply defend the movie. I feel the need to not simply defend the
movie, but picture remake in that most cutting edge of formulas. This is Jacqueline last name, the radio play.
Lovale.
Stay with me.
Jacqueline Lovale.
He's come on, guys.
He's pitching ahead of the family radio play.
Yeah, radio play.
I love it.
Stay with me.
I see Elliot as the convinced of his own genius, Myron.
Done.
Dan is the pervazoid wheeler.
Stewart is the deep voice and a horny odys, and the flop
house house cat is the wordless but essential earnestina.
Elliot's lady love and Hathaway would of course play loretta.
Don't know if we can get her.
And John Hodgman would fill the rolls of Elliot's nemesis lance.
I think I can say without hyperbole, this would be single handedly save radio, make
Miss Hathaway a star, and earn more cash than Delgo.
You can have it for $750,000.
Well, that is $50,000 too high.
Or you can just let me play Howard.
That's from Izzy last name with hell.
Thanks, Izzy.
What I like is now this podcast has the same section that Wizard Magazine used to have
when they would cast superhero movies, and how we long would always for some reason be
cast in them.
How we long is a great actor?
First off, he's got the jobs.
I mean, we've all seen the commercials, guys.
They're consistent ones were always how we long as venom and a Glen Danzee guess Wolverine.
And uh, Robocop Peter Weller.
Peter Weller would be vision from the Avengers.
Miss their chance.
They're Joss Whedon.
So, yeah, I think we could do that.
It's, we might have trouble making Anne Hathaway more of a star than she is,
since she's one in Asperger and she's a big star.
But, if anything, it's the head of the family radio.
Yeah, guys, get on it. Let's kickstart this thing.
Reminds me of a project I was talking about with someone at work today,
which was the film reboot of coach starting
Reboot starts no crank T Nelson plays coaches father in the reboot
Oh, of course, and get a young guy coach the next year, right like Chris Pine or somebody playing coach
And that opens you up for the major dad reboot. Yeah, yeah, and then you get into money
Dad reboot. Yeah.
Yeah, and then you get into money.
That's when we get to go.
It's a lost leader from age to dead.
Yeah.
Coaches just to get him in the door.
Coaches.
Then you get him with the major dad.
So coach and major dad all belong to the same universe, right?
Oh, yeah, of course.
Coaches.
Yeah.
Because you got to introduce the coach caratries in order for major dad to make sense.
It makes sense, I don't want to. If you don't have the back story don't have the back story. We deal with different movies each introducing a different character from coach
Then they're all in the major dad movie
And the major dad movie usually ends with major dad coming in. Yeah, it's a prequel to the major dad sequel
Which is the real major dad film?
So it's gonna have the same guy as major dad wasn't he on the justify a little while?
I've seen the first movie. He's just dad Yeah, and then it becomes major and you're like, oh
Yeah, and obviously the origin story of major dad. Yeah, so he joins the military or
He gets promoted to me. No, it's just more major. He's just majorly a dad. He's easy to be minor. Yeah, he comes a bigger guy
He's just majorly a dad. He's easy to be minor.
He comes a bigger guy.
It's a big guy.
How do I move up the dead?
That's the original title, honey.
I blew up the dead.
And then, yeah, exactly.
He begins like a gulfling or something.
Yeah.
And by the end, he's a skexy.
That's a life cycle.
That's a secret of the dark crystal.
Like I would have said, those guys who raise the gulflings, but I don't remember their
names.
I don't think wrinkle faces.
Yeah, for our wrinkle faces.
Yeah, I must have missed that.
So this last segment of the podcast is where we quickly recommend a movie that we saw,
probably recently, maybe not, that we liked, unlike Red Dawn.
Elliot, what do you have in store for us?
I'm gonna recommend a much better movie about an invasion of a domestic home front. I think I
may have recommended before, but I'm not gonna remember, but I'm gonna recommend it again, which is
the movie Went the Day Well, which is a British film from 1942, in which a group of suspicious
acting English soldiers have been billeted in a small coastal town.
It soon turns out they're not what they seem
and the villagers have to take up arms to defend England.
And it's a really fantastic suspense film.
It especially is interesting historically
because this is a movie that was made during the war.
The war would still had a number of years,
three years to go.
And they, but there's this sense of,
this is what, this might happen in England
is ready for.
It's a really suspenseful film and really well made,
went the day well.
I like it a lot.
And I'm going to throw in a plug for a new film, which I think
is playing, might be playing festivals,
or might be playing at a theater or a new year eventually,
called Adjust Your Tracking, the untold story
of the VHS collector. And it is a documentary about guys who are obsessed with collecting
VHS tapes, mainly horror tapes.
Let's just cut to the chase.
These guys collect horror tapes on VHS, but they've amassed huge collections and they're
funny characters, and there's a lot of funny moments in the documentary.
And if it's playing near U, if you like this podcast, you may get a kick out of it.
So adjust your tracking and went the day well,
which is available on DVD.
I would like to recommend a movie that does not need
my endorsement and I am fully aware of this,
so do not make fun of me, AV Club Commaters.
And that's a little film called Casa Blanca,
which I rewatched while on vacation just recently.
Then right, Dan went on vacation and then watched a movie.
Yeah, well, no, it was, you know, one night I-
A movie's a lot like an vacation.
And like, it's a fucking evening.
Like, I was in my hotel room.
I watched Casa Blanca with my wife who had never seen it.
And I feel comfortable recommending it because I feel like as film history stretches out
that even the most acknowledged classics of the movie world become less and less seen
just because there are more movies.
And Casa Blanca is a movie that deserves to be seen because like Citizen Kane, it is
a great movie that is not taking your medicine at all.
It is completely entertaining.
It's a great romance. It also has war themes to tie it in with Red Dawn. And it just feels
like Warner Brothers opened up the floodgates of every great character actor it happened
to have. It's amazing cast. On the studio, a lot at that time, and just set them loose
in a great movie. So watch Class of Blanca.
It's fun.
And I'm also going to recommend a movie about an invasion
of a man's home.
I recently watched Shame starring Michael Fastbender,
who plays a New York executive type who's also a sex addict,
and copes with his sister
moving in within.
He lives a very controlled, based around his weird sex addiction.
He was invaded by having a sex.
Oh man, and that's the end.
He's been his invades a lot of people.
Now, you might think that I watched it to see a bunch of weeners flopping around.
That wasn't really the reason.
There is a bunch of weeners flopping around.
But that's what you stayed for. Yeah, that's what kept me really the reason. It's the bonus. But that's what you stayed for.
Yeah, that's what kept me in the seat.
And yeah, it's kind of slow, it's well shot.
There's, I don't know, it's good. Watch it.
It's Ray Lacks, I think.
If that makes it more enticing.
Yeah, it's just like the devil and mischones. Come on.
I don't know.
Just trying to pill out an old X-rated film.
Do you say the devil in mischones?
The devil and mischones.
The devil in mischones.
The devil and mischones.
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm where.
That's a gene Arthur.
One is a play on the other.
Oh, they were playing just now.
They're just now giving.
They're both based on the same play which was called sex head.
The pornographic play.
Which I guess would just be a strip club.
You loved the live sex show.
Now see the movie.
Of course do the production code.
We had to take out most of the sex.
Change the story, but we think you're still going to live.
But wait till the 70s, because oh boy.
Wait till the future.
There's a love you tell you.
We're going to be making some crazy movies.
Just sit in that seat and we'll hyper fast forward and you'll grow this really cool
riff and winkle beer. And then you'll grow this really cool rip-in
winkel beer. And then you'll get a bowler. No, too far. Oh, no, we zardos. From the Tony award-winning
producers of Behind the Green Door, the stage play. All right, well deep throat on ABC.
It's been fun being with you guys, but now we got to sign off for the
flop house I've been Dan McCoy I've been Stewart Welley and I've been Elliot
Kaylen we talked about the movie a lot this time right well we might have I
don't remember it's already I already forgot the movie Wolverine I know what I'm gonna recommend. I'm like you just tell stories about what he saw in
an airplane recently. I'm gonna recommend a drink cart. I was on an airplane recently and
it was full of delicious alcohol.
Did you know that you can get full bottles of wine?
Now they're small bottles.
Now let me just tell you right now, the bottles are full, but they're not regular-sized bottles.
But that's great. It makes you feel like you're a giant of some kind?
Of some kind.
If you drink...
If you drink seven of them, it's basically a normal-sized bottle.
They won't give you seven, but you can take seven.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-