The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #25 - The Happening
Episode Date: October 19, 20080:00 - 0:39 - Introduction and theme.0:40 - 41:28 - It's a Flop House event! We've been waiting so long for the DVD release for M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening that we jump right in and don't sto...p talking about it for forty minutes. (Would I call it a "Flop House happening?" No. That would be dumb.)41:29 - 44:17 - Final judgments on The Happening.44:18 - 48:30 - What the heck. Final judgments on M. Night, too.48:31 - 56:40 - The sad bastards recommend. 56:41 - 58:26 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
On this, the second Halloween episode of the flop house, we discuss, the happening,
a film that somehow doesn't even manage to live up to its name. Oh, wait, I re-indeed the intro first.
Like, so, okay, so should we let you stop cracking up for
all my jokes.
Oh boy.
Hey everyone, welcome to the flop house, I'm Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington.
I'm Elliot Kaelin.
Hey, we watched a movie tonight.
That we did.
A movie that I've been waiting for ever.
Your whole life.
I saw the reviews this summer.
We've had them looking forward to.
For me, it was when I saw the movie posters.
Yeah.
For me, it was when I heard the title.
Once a year, maybe twice a year, but no more than three
times a year comes along a movie.
I'm like, we should go see this in the theaters.
We need to do a flop house in the theaters episode. And then we't get it. I didn't happen. Yeah, but now it's
out on DVD. Laysians. Flop house in the Isles didn't happen. Yeah, that movie is called The Happening.
Em Night Shyamalan's. Em Night Shyamalan brings you his vaguest title yet.
So I assumed that this movie was about 1960s performance, right?
Correct?
Yeah, I also actually had that assumption.
Yeah.
Was it?
I think it was about something less interesting.
It's hard to imagine.
It's like, M. Night Shyamalan set out to challenge his audience to pay attention to his
movie or be interested in anyway. Well, any challenge it it too. Like, if you recall, the ad campaigns were
all like, in night shamelands, first are rated film. And like, we were all like
chomping at the pay, like, the fuckinging. Oh, God. What is this master of modern
suspense going to do with? Here's where I'm going to take, well, we'll talk about
that later, with the drastic overrating of M Night Channel was worth it anyway I imagine the palette he's has
access to now
thinking in such swaths of gory
is listen his rose period is over time for the blue period oh my god but I
would say that this movie was a solid PG-13, maybe a PG- Maybe even a G.
Well, Ellen, I still have to get to understand how they rate movies.
You think just a prom night was a G-
It was either a G or a triple X.
Triple X is not a actual rating.
Quadruple X.
MPAA, no.
I think both of those are adding X's.
I think both of those guys are wrestlers actually.
Oh nice.
Well one of them I know is an extreme spy.
So nice.
Is one of the most ice cubes.
Ice cube.
Could I have one of those ice cubes in my beverage?
Please, when you're actually trying to ask for a compact disc, possibly a
lethal injection or the predator.
Anyway, we watched the movie The Happening starring Mark Wahlberg and Zoe Deschano.
And John Leggwizamo.
Yeah, starring in its complete sense.
Yeah, like a real star.
It's rare, there's almost no scenes that Mark Walberg is not in
and or
or
still it was spring in a strangely feminine way that are shoved into his hands by the other actors who don't want to be in them
yeah well that's a lot of eyebrow acting that's one thing about this movie is I I love I yeah I I love zoe-de-channel
I think she can make most boring rules interesting and she's adorable.
This film, god damn, she's given nothing to work with.
I think her character note is Winnie.
Winnie and vaguely emotionally unstable.
Yeah, we're introduced to her early in the film when people are dying and we think that
this is a terrorist attack. She's like,
God,
just when you think people can't get more evil and like that sort of price are people crappy
I think she says at one point. Yeah, yeah, you know, I made a comment before before the movie guys about
Zoe Deschanel and you know what I kind of want to take it back
Well, yeah, I don't want to do that and you might want to say what that comment was it was very specific
Carnal a carnal knowledge kind of you you wished that she had started carnal knowledge. Yes the Jack Nichols
I take it back. Yeah, and and
Art Garfunkel. I got a phone call and Margaret too, right?
Yeah, she wasn't very good and her story said uh... that he would like to finger bank
so it is not like that to go further than that
she was too innocent apparently he's a gentleman
well that's far as he went out of the way i don't know if i feel like they have
enough of a commitment with the way
so he is more like you sidle up next to her at the bus
on the bus stop you know do your business and then oh my bus is here, I gotta go.
Yeah.
I'm waiting for the M35.
That's okay.
See you later.
It's like a really weird sort of combination of sexual aggression and like, like jittle
minli-ness, like.
Yeah, absolutely.
Like, I'll wear a rubber glove if she wants.
That's cool.
I'll clip my finger near the shoulder.
Yeah, because that'll field even that'll feel great
That will remind her of going to the doctor. I'll use a lot of
Horse of vaginal lubricant
Wow, let's talk about the movie huh the happening I didn't expect the finger rang stuff to come up until the second half of the episode
When we're war searching for things to talk about
come up until the second half of the episode when we're searching for things to talk about. Yeah, we're on that idea, is that right?
So the movie begins with thrilling scenes of people stopping in place and then walking
backwards.
And then killing themselves.
Yeah.
And in very silly way, like, non-bloody way.
Very non-bloody, but also just the way it's paced, the way it's, the movie feels like
a parody of, like like a disaster horror movie. Like it feel like if M.I. Shyamalan had released it as like M.I. Shyamalan's first
wacky comedy, the happening.
And then like, you know, people falling off of a building and rapid fire or like a car
suddenly crashing into a tree for no reason.
Yeah, people start killing themselves the very overwrought ways.
Well, the main idea is they kill themselves in the first way that is at hand, but in practice,
that just means that they kill themselves in goofy ways.
The very first killing is like, well, I got to kill myself now.
What do I have on?
I have this chopstick that's been keeping my bun up my hair in place
my hair will ram that through my neck
and then there's a guy to construction site and construction workers are just
dropping off the top of the building but not like a
not like a scary like oh my god way more and like a
here comes a more
thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump
and everyone's reactions are partly cloudy with a chance of construction workers.
Everyone's immediate reaction is not like, what?
It's more like, dear God.
What is happening?
Santa Maria.
Like, I don't want to get too dark or mention things that, you know, shouldn't be mentioned
on the flop house.
But the thing that kept striking me was that like, it's he's trying to get across the kind of feeling that people had on September 11th where it was like, you know shouldn't be mentioned on the flop house. But the thing that kept striking me was that like obvious. He's trying to get across the kind of feeling that people had on September 11th
where it was like, you know, something is happening and you don't know what it is and you're scared
and you know that something terrible has happened but you don't know what's going on. And the first thing,
the first, I think everybody's first- Don't like Cloverfield. Yeah, like Cloverfield, we were
talking about War the World. It's how much more Spielberg's War of the World was at this.
But like, everyone's reaction that day was like,
what?
Where is it?
Oh, now I'm scared, like, kind of.
But like, no one has that moment.
What?
Or Roe will come to you.
We're losing it.
But nobody has that immediate reaction of like,
what?
Before the terror sinks in, like everyone is all,
everyone's super frightened right off the bat
in a way that is totally unrealistic and very unconvincing.
Yeah, well, then smash cut to Mark Wolford.
As a science teacher in high school.
He's a high school science teacher,
which, you know, that's the logical protagonist
in this scenario. I mean, I understand, you know,'s the logical protagonist in the scenario
i mean i understand the you know like he wants to be like an every man but there's
really i really don't feel like there's a like a really strong reason why
mnichael was made a missile well he talks about science a lot well he also
was it like the worst science teacher who's introduced selling his class
these are disappearing great numbers because we all remember that was in the news
well why is this happening?
And the correct answer that the kid gives him is,
it's an act of nature and we'll never know.
And he goes, yes, you're right.
100% go home or what?
Mark Walberg says,
here's a sticker.
He says, champion.
He says he's like, yeah,
science will come up with an explanation,
but it's just gonna be a theory.
And I'm like, why did this guy go into science?
What is he going to teach?
Like, he's working off a Sarah Palin's curriculum.
Topical.
No, no, it seems like he's like a missionary who just stumbled back.
It's like a very religious organization just decided to put mentoring candidates
into science teacher positions
where it's like just teach the kids
that science can't be trusted and doesn't exist.
And that way we'll get our message across.
You know, like,
they use this B thing,
but then they just drop it immediately.
Well, they drop it immediately,
but also like Mark Walden was like,
yeah, these are just appearing.
And the corpses, we can't even find the corpses.
I'm like, that's not true.
The bees died off, but I'm pretty sure
that the bees were still there.
They didn't just vaporize when they died.
Baelians took them away.
The...
The...
If it wasn't for this happening,
I think Mark Walgur's character would be stiff competition
for Drew Barrymore's character in Donnie Darko for the most believable teacher in movies
ever.
The destructors is a story about the most beautiful phrase in the English language.
I think we can all agree on that.
The Yarkar Jooks. English language. I think we can all agree on that. But the... And also John Lake, Wazamu, is his friend and fellow teacher
who out of nowhere decides to tell, they get a message from Alan Rickman in a small
role as the school principal. And he should have been the hero of the movie.
Alan Rudd.
Oh, Alan Rudd, I'm sorry. I was getting a big sense.
I think it would be great if Alan Rickman was the president.
There was a problem.
Everyone should leave the school.
It seems there's some sort of happening.
Sorry, it's Alan, it's Alan Rudd.
Alan Rudd, Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Dale.
Yeah, but he tells them briefly, there's
that something's happening in New York.
It looks like a terrorist attack.
So everybody leave the school and go home.
And John Leggwazamu, in the midst of this, everybody's worried leaving the school and go home and John Legg was on the midst of this everybody's worried leaving school decides to tell Mark Walberg
you know on your wedding day I saw your bride and she was crying and it looked
like she didn't want to marry you well see you later got to go you shouldn't
bring her along when we evacuate you shouldn't bring her along when we leave so
the whole beginning of the film is there's there's there's merit everything is
brought there's merit attention between Zoe De Chanel and Mark Wahlberg and every sentence
feels weighted down with like heavy meaning and then later on I don't want to
get too ahead but later on we discover that we've even talked about the town of
Princeton yeah well we'll get there but Zoe De Chanel is really worried about
the fact that she had dessert with a coworker and apparently that has been the reason why everyone's talking like they're in a
pinter play for the first half of the movie.
Yeah, it's kind of like a pinter play written by a child.
The whole movie feels like it, well, it feels like a movie that a kid made in his
backyard over the weekend after he saw the birds.
Like, this is what movies are like.
I'll just make it and I'll have my friends act out the parts.
And the child is like, what's the worst thing
that could happen between a married couple?
One of them has to search for the coworker.
That's what mom said, dead did the broke up their marriage.
So.
But much like prom night, this movie catapult
just right into the action.
Immediately after this attack happens, they're like,
OK, people are dying in
New York clearly since we're in Philadelphia that will be the next target of
whatever's happening so we got to get out of the city so well and I really
appreciate that I mean like I'm glad it isn't a fucking snooze fest where
you're like character character character bloody blah yeah cuz it really helped
later on when the characters were dying and I didn't have to worry about them absolutely I don't have to feel any connection to them when when they're Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blar Blarry Blar Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarry Blarly Blar talks and I would they okay but also like everyone's really going by the numbers like something's happening we better get out of town fast okay why like I
understand why you feel need to leave immediately like the government's
reaction in the movie seems to tell everybody to leave urban centers and go to
small towns which I don't think has ever been a government plan and
case of an emergency like maybe yeah I don't know if you remember after 9-11
they're like I forgot I forgot I forgot
New York and their Bloomberg went on TV and started I guess it was Julian the time when Mayor Giuliani went on the TV and
Said everybody leave the city go to the town of Princeton
Because they immediately get on a train and John like was almost wife didn't get there in times
They get on this train and there's a big to-do about the marital problems when they're handing out tickets
But then John like was on I was almost getting a tech it's a phone call from his wife and he goes I can't hear you text me
Text me I can't hear you I can't hear you text me this goes on for about 40 minutes
And then they she gets a text and he go and John Legosama says and this is brilliant writing right here
He goes oh no she's good. She's taking a bus to the town of Princeton these people live in Philadelphia Princeton is not a
foreign concept to the town of Princeton well I don't I've never even been to Princeton and I
I feel comfortable just referring to it as Princeton I mean it's I don't have to specify to people
that I'm going to the town of Princeton like or is she going to one of the university building
but that's the thing even if we didn't know know that it's a well-known town because the university
from the context of the sentence we should know it's a place that she's going to
like she's not like she got into Princeton she'll be going there next semester
oh Mark Walberg she's matriculating at Princeton currently so we better go there
she's going to the layer of Lord Princeton. He should be able to lock them up. But there's a similar line later on where Zoey Dishanel
and the characters walk into a house,
and Zoey Dishanel goes,
there must be a bathroom in this place.
I'll go there.
There must be a bathroom in this place.
Yeah, it's a house.
Like the audience...
You can assume that they're basic human needs.
But all she has is a kitchen and there's a bathroom.
It's not like if the line had been, I'll just go to the bathroom, that the audience would have been like,
how does she know there's a bathroom in this building?
You're stretching my ability to believe this movie.
And I sit down with me for a second.
There's only so much I'm gonna buy.
Plants, sure.
We have a mainstream USA, just, you know, Joe Sixback.
Doesn't understand.
Hockey mom, you know, and so forth.
We're in our political allegiance on our sleeve.
You're gonna have a red state all the way.
Anyway, but anyway, so they leave.
They go to the trains, it stops in a station called Philbert,
because the conductors have lost...
Where are the Philberts are grown?
Where Philberts are grown, grown yeah where they make paintbrushes
and uh they where they were the strip tillbert is written after there was a typo
but there's it like the conductor stop the train and get out and everyone's
like what do we're all and Mark will was like we don't even know where we are
you're at a train station it's this Philbert right there. This is on the route of the train.
There's a train track.
As you said, Dan, you said it's the joke
from Darjeeling Limited.
It was like, how can we get lost
for on a train?
But they're playing it seriously.
Like, the train got lost.
Well, you don't understand as all of the
conductors on that train.
It's their first day.
Well, the thing is the conductors are like,
we've lost contact with everybody.
There's no one we can't contact from the train. Like, so a standard operating procedure
to just stop at whatever station you happen to be at and then get out of the train and leave
it. A band in the train. Run off into the woods. The radio's not working. Better junk
this train. And tear off all the scrap. This train is no longer of any use to us. Burn
it down. I want to see Slag on this track.
So they go to a diner. This is very much like the diner scene in the birds,
except a shitty.
And they watch, instead of seeing birds attack a man and a gas station blow up,
which is exciting, they watch on an iPod as a zookeeper allows his arms to be ripped off by lions
in a really ridiculously fake scene.
And now they're watching on iPod because the the shot which is clearly just shot on film like it's just
like hey we want to show you this they just have this crappy
man it in
like
yeah
yeah and it look the whole thing looks fake and everything in the movie looks
fake it's really poorly done
then they watch the news and the news says oh there are a lot of attacks happening in the
northeast and the guy in the guy who looks like an overweight Barton fang who is running
the diner says this town's right here in the northeast so everyone immediately runs
out of the diner and drives off in different directions it's like yeah, they're like feet don't fail me
The exit stage lift and holding their caps on
There's just people shaved holes in the walls
It's let's really everything is cartoonish and
Mark Wahlberg's like hey, what are you doing? You're leaving me behind I got a kid with with me. And they hit you ride with some people who own a plant nursery.
Okay, but me and while they split up, John was almost like, I gotta go find my wife.
Take my daughter, you need her for plot purposes.
I'll go on my own.
She might bring you closer together as a couple.
You know what, I'm going to find my wife, I won't bring my daughter along with me. So I'll know where my family is.
Yeah, so
it's best to spread out as much as possible.
Here's and here's an example of how unimaginative the movie is is that
John Lig was I'm on this group they they're driving a Princeton and the this thing that is causing me to kill themselves this gas or whatever
Yeah, I believe it's like some sort of gas in the air at this point.
Yeah, it's already hit Princeton and there are all these
landscapers who have hung themselves from trees.
And at this point, like the deaths are so silly in that way that like,
I have expected a scene at a kid's birthday party where a clown makes a new set of balloon
animals and hangs themselves.
But they're driving past the landscaping truck and the name on his
bills landscape. He didn't even go to the trouble of creating a name you might find for
a landscaping company in this movie. It was just laziness.
But then there's a...
M. Night Shama Lazy.
There's this tin scene where John Legg was on, it tells everyone to roll the windows up and
then he distracts the girl with a math riddle.
A woman in the car who's panicked about this.
She's a math teacher at the high school.
So he's like, hey, I've got a math riddle for you.
Not a math problem, not a brain teaser, a math riddle.
I think they've came from the high school and saved.
It's just like they're all more into God than they are into the subjects that they teach.
But then there's a terrifying
Slow push in on a rip in the
In the top of the car and they realize oh my god
Whatever's out there is getting into the car and the next shot is the car stopping on the road
Then immediately accelerating and hitting a tree and a guy flying out of the windshield the car in one shot
Which was actually pretty cool. It's pretty cool. It was like silly. It was like...
Yeah, it's one of those hilarious deaths ever put on film.
And then John, like, was on a get-out and slits his wrist with a piece of glass in the middle of the street.
And even that was kind of funny.
Hacking!
Like, the deaths are just done in such a goofy way that they...
There's a guy later who lies down in front of a lawnmower.
Yeah, that's a good job. Like, was on a one-man show of all the characters in the happening.
That would be a good show, see?
On HBO.
And HBO's special of that.
But apparently they all came from Spanish Harlem somehow in this version.
But meanwhile, Mark Wahlberg and Zoe's suggestion are having their own adventures.
Yeah.
Oh, it's a real, it's a real Altman film of parallel positive and different adventures. Yeah, oh, it's a real, it's a real Altman film of parallel
plastic and different it different adventures. There's that really good scene
where people are trying to outrun the wind and then the wind gets them and they
freeze. Yeah, well, okay, he hitches a ride with a plant loving guy who owns a
greenhouse who immediately springs to the conclusion, hey, maybe the plants are doing this, which is
spoiler alert, what's happening? Yeah, however, not happening. And and what the big twist to me was that
it wasn't fucking M. Knight Shymalan who told us that. Like he normally loves to do that and just
moves away. Yeah, he's usually the guy who knows the truth. He's me, the crackpot who actually
knows everything in the world. And I'm the director in this green writer wing i'm great
he kind of tries to cover it up by having the character says it
be the zany guy
who you believe things that plants are responsible for everything does also say
that that's killed jiff k you know he does also say that plant that bushes
can talk to trees
and that plants evolve at a rapid rate right and it's a strange
obsession with hot dogs.
Yeah, and one of his first lines is, I love hot dogs.
Who doesn't like hot dogs?
Yeah, he's like, you like hot dogs, don't you?
They're just hot dogs.
They're a very convenient shape.
You like hot dogs, right?
And then yeah.
There's a cut to the Zoe Decian Allen.
He's just like awkwardly like shaking your head.
No.
He's like, all right.
And then later you see him eating a hot dog.
And it's like, ah, he loves hot dogs. He took hot dog on the survival.
He's not hot dog guy. This is great. It's so good to laugh in such a tough time.
But I see M. Night Shyamalan. Literally, he's got, he's like, I have all these small characters
in this movie who end up dying. I better come up with characteristics for each of them, so they're
believable. I'm going to make this guy a hot dog lover. Yeah, he's an official notto. That must have come after like,
cat person?
No, that doesn't work so well.
Extreme skateboarder.
We like cat person.
No, just like someone who likes cats.
Like a jacks champion, he plays jacks.
See, that would be more interesting if he was an actual
cat person.
It's like, I think the plants are doing this.
And then he killed someone and they shoot him. then run we got a cat person to deal with
Yeah, if it was like Stephen King sleepwalkers
At least that at least then I would have Machen Hayback, yeah, that was a very strange movie
By the way
Here's a here's a side note. What's that you ask If you're looking for a bad movie to watch in Halloween,
to laugh at, sleepwalkers is an A-plus bad film.
But meanwhile, in the half night.
And Night Shyamon has someone state the premise of his film,
making a huge logical leap.
Mark Wahlberg basically accepts it, I guess,
because then later on in the movie, he
knows what's going on.
Well, he is a scientist.
He's a science teacher.
Science teachers teach science, which tells us that if someone tells you something, it's true.
And so, and you draw inferences from what you already know and apply that to things going on around you,
even if they aren't supported by factual evidence.
I think that's called a scientific method.
Yeah, it's called the scientific method 2.0.
So, so they... Anyway, we don't have to go over every adventure they have along the way.
But the thing is, there's not a lot of depth to the plots, I think we can.
It is a movie that goes from point A to point B to point C through point Z.
There's the, and then leaves you there.
There's the two of them and the little girl and then these two like kids and they're like bang on this this house trying to get
it out. Oh, this is after after they've they've realized that what it is is when
there's too many people in a group plants can sense that and kill them. Yeah. So
they got us to get up into smaller groups. That's how evolution works. Any defense
mechanism a plant has is something that is intentional it's it's entirely intentional
it's targeted
but also there's more than five people walking together and also they made a
deal with the winds that the wind will blow whenever they got a release
this time there's a scene as as stupid as to point out that with a a list the
wind god they decided to make a deal
well we talked about it it's it's like the scene in uh...
uh... after tomorrow where jake jill and hauls outrunning the cold
there's a scene where he's running down a hall things are freezing behind him
or like you said in the mother returns where they're out running the sun
yeah and this scene in this movie there's a scene where they try and outrun the
win and mark walberg says we just got to stay ahead of the wind
yeah which is impossible well it's not unless your
uh... what's his name bolt
the uh... olympic record holding spring yeah you're not gonna be able to
out on the wind you know maybe he can
he's got golden shoes
but yeah they they go to uh... they go to a house and they bang on the the doors
and you're talking about this to
Yeah, the people aren't very excited about letting in the toxins or terrorists
Who some should un-enthralled by the idea? Yeah, they never enthusiastic about the idea of opening up their doors
And like these kids who are like young teens of course they don't take no for an answer
They keep banging on stuff they keep pushing as he has kids will kids will. They keep pushing. And finally, the, I'm guessing, hillbillies. I
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no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's
no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's
no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's
no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's like a wise move because then toxins could get in but the door opens and a shotgun comes out and blasts one of the kids and while the other kids like what
the heck another shotgun pokes through the window and blows his head off.
What I also love is they were they everyone's acting about the people on the
other side of the wall as if they don't know what people are. So like they come
up to this house and they're peeking through the cracks and the shutters and
they see a something walk along next to them like there's something in there
then there's something in there.
There's another one.
Like, you know, but there are people inside a house who are talking to them and saying
we're not going to let you in.
Like, there's, you know, there's not some nice slow motion.
There's good slow motion when the kids got shot because Mark Wahlberg had to get really upset.
It was this, it was, it was about one inch away from just being the new
that i wanted it to be
and so undeterred by their experience of this house
which has a crazy old lady in it but uh... crazy old lady a say
i'll find that hard to believe that the first house at the swing is at the
is that the first house of the first house
there's a swing at the head from a hanging from a tree
and the little girls on the swing and Zoidish Nell
is pushing it and Mark Walberg says,
do you think that's not a good idea?
Is something like that.
Maybe that's not a good idea.
But then they, like someone told Mark Walberg
that questions always had a raising reflection at the end.
But the camera pans up.
It's a tree holding that swing up, bump, bump.
And then like a giant or nothing. It's not a monster. It's not a robot, not a crane. It's a tree holding that swing up bump bump and then like a Chiantr. Nothing. It's not a monster. It's not a robot not a crane. It's a tree.
You're like a Brontosaurus tail. No, just like every swing in the world. It's a tree.
And then they show like an overhead shot of her swinging on the swing and the branch is shaking.
And at any moment you're like, oh, that branch is gonna fall off and then it doesn't.
And it's over and it never matters you know yeah it has it has none of the thrills or horror of the scene in wizard
devise where the trees start throwing apples at the scarecrow and d'Arthie like
that scene is scarier than the entire movie that happening but anyway they go
on to another house which is owned by crazy old lady sure who is it after they
briefly stop at a realter's model house
oh yeah that's where the bathroom question comes up but
anyway she's drinking her lemon drink and no one talks like a human being in this movie
no no they don't well this but this woman talks even less like a human being this woman talks like
rejected tenisey Williams character she does she's talking over dinner with these characters
she's very mean and hostile and invites them to dinner
and she's creepy and she says to them over dinner,
like, one of you's chasins the other
to Zoe Dishonnell and Mark Walbrings, she goes,
that's the way we's made speaking of, like, humans.
We've made to chases each other.
Well, what you don't realize is she learned how to speak
English reading a little lab in her comments. But anyway, but she does provide some important expository dialogue, which is that
if you're out in the shed, you can talk and because of some sort of some sort of underground passage
from the Underground Railroad. Yeah, you can be heard in the mayhem. She gives them a short lecture
on the history of the house and gives them that important piece of information. I would say it stops
the movie cold, but the movie stops cold every five minutes. It's the movie is very, for
a thriller, it's very leisurely paced and not a lot is happening. A lot of the time.
Happening. The best part is when they're about to go to bed and they're like, man, this
lady's totally crazy.
That's paraphrase, obviously. And, um, not that paraphrase. It's pretty good. And, like, they hear a noise, so Mark Walbert goes to the door and he sees the old lady in her
nightgown down there and she's like, like, you're talking about stealing stuff.
You're gonna kill me. And at that point, I'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Kill you? Does that, Mark Walbert doesn't say like, no, of course not.
What are you crazy?
He says, no, no, we weren't.
No, we weren't talking about it.
And then like, he's like, I was kind of thinking
you're killing me, doing a shot.
Is him like waking up?
Like, what the fuck are you talking about?
It's like, you're trying to kill me, aren't you?
No, no, don't you? No, no, don't you.
Well, time to go to bed.
Oh, this is going to feel great.
In that crazy little lady.
Oh, it's going to be so good.
Just to lie down, just to get some z's.
Yeah.
Then I love it.
He gets up in the next morning.
Zoday Chanel, the kid, or gone.
He's slowly, ever so slowly walking through the house.
He really takes a few minutes
he opens her bedroom
and he keeps saying her name he's like missus Jones and he's like
creeping towards the bed which clearly has a large oversized doll on it it's not
missus Jones
but he seems to believe it's missus Jones right up until he's like a creepy
rotten
we're in your side i think yeah it's a creepy doll i think the maybe one of the
things are the character that isn't a cutscene is that he's very near-sighted. I think, yeah, and it's a creepy doll. I think maybe one of the things
are the character that was in a cut scene
is that he's near-sighted.
So like he has trouble recognizing what things are.
There was an earlier scene where he's like
talking to a mannequin thinking it's a redish-n-l.
It's like a Mr. McGoo character.
He thinks that a hot water heater is, you know,
I don't know, a popsicle.
Any, any, any, like, sitting burns his tongue.
This is why I never wrote Mr. McGoo cartoons.
I'm not very good at it.
Yeah, okay, Mr. McGoo sees a sewer entrance
and he picks up the mantle cover and he thinks it's a pizza.
And he eats it, and he hurts his teeth.
The end.
The end. That's a really short, that's a big,
great thing.
Listen, I'm just doing this
because I want to work with Jim Backus.
That's the only reason I'm interested.
All right, well.
I just wanted to do my answering machine message.
Anyway, well, she's quickly dispatched with the crazy old lady
rams her head into a mirror
because the neurotoxin gets into her brain.
Oh, this is after she yells at him to get out of her house.
Yeah, I guess the plants are angered that she's not being more hospitable than Mark Wahlberg.
Yeah, I don't get it.
The plants seem to be very like they don't...
We appreciate it.
They kind of have a do-no harm rule with Mark Wahlberg.
Actually, you know what it's that the toxin seems to be getting stronger and stronger
and strength and even killing single people.
Yeah.
So we see her...
Like the single guy. But we see her like the single guy.
But we say David.
So John and then so we know we've both gotten
names wrong at some points during this thing.
We see we see that's yeah, another perfect Wellington.
Can we see her walk by a window then the camera follows along the inside of the wall
for what an hour. I don't know. Well, she's here walking on the the inside of the wall for what an hour I don't know
well she's walking on the other side of the wall and it's literally like
and that's how I was like you know what set dressers did such a good job on this
set I'm just going to show it for a long time this is going to be great and then
you hear thump thump thump and you the assumption is she's like hitting her
head against the wall or something that's goofy and then she walks up to the window and smashes her head through the window.
And you're like, oh, that's what they actually had her doing, that's stupid.
And then she dies smashing her head through a window.
That part is kind of creepy though.
When her head just smashes through the window.
Comparably.
I mean, what's going to be on her tombstone?
Think about that.
Pepperonis and extra cheese remember
those ads everybody New York city
different
we're just doing that tag
though were there always like band and banditos or something there's a guy who is
going to be shot by a firing squad what would you like on your tombstone and
then he goes pepperoni and sausage.
Tombstone pizza beer and it's like,
we weren't going to shoot you for your crimes against the state.
We'll just get you a pizza instead.
Here you go.
And then, oh, they say like-
What was the joke because they're going to bury him in an unmarked grave?
I think they don't think-
I think later standing around like all the firing squad
you're all really having pizza
because it starts he says blindfold no cigarette no
what do you want in your tombstone and then he goes that yeah and then they're all sitting right
eating pizza and like in the leader of the of the fire
and so I go napkin and then I go no and the firing squad leader has
looking at face like oh you got me again It's a nonsensical commercial
Yes, they both did I think but really when you name your pizza company after a grave marker
You're asking for that kind of trouble, you know
The comic strip crop. The French foreign leeching comic strip.
The one that the most relevant thing to the most newspaper readers.
So like, oh yes, the same invention to the French foreign leeching.
Oh, that's not the thing that he eats.
That he eats it as a comedy device.
Hasn't been in style since say Abbot in Castella.
It's at least as relevant as like Mark Trail.
He's fighting fucking animal smugglers all
the time.
I wonder how many times can he go through that story, you know?
There was a really sad Mark Trail, I remember seeing once where Mark Trail and the kid who
pals around with him, I guess is his son, are in a cavern that's flooding and it was just
like three or four panels and it was just like, I'm scared, dad, I know, I know it's okay.
I'm scared and he goes, but I'm proud of you son.
That was the whole thing.
And it was like, this is the saddest comics,
there was no like, Will Mark Trail escape?
Or like, but wait, look, that hat shop,
there was no like cliffhanger.
It was just, these characters are going to die now.
And they're approaching to each other, yeah.
I love that comic.
For my money, that's the strangest of the soup,
opera comic, that's fun. Mark Trail, yeah, I don't know. I don that comic. For my money, that's the strangest of the soup opera comic.
It's a far more fun.
Well, trail, yeah, one of them.
I don't know.
When Terry and the Pirates had that character
who was living inside of an exoskeleton,
that was pretty weird too, but that's an adventure.
Anyway, to get back to the...
And when Brenda Star had that abortion on camera
in the comic strip, that was weird.
To get back to the happening, I'm sure you think that there's probably
an exciting end... into this film
would be wrong
sure there's not just a day's at x mac and i'm
you'd assume that mark walbert beats up every plant in america
to keep us safe for something like or like they set the forest on fire something
like that
like a tree beard style character shows up
yes if you can defeat me in single combat, I will save the humans.
It's like the end of Craticant Part II
with all the humans playing little hand drums
and, exactly,
use a tape song or something.
No, it just turns out to.
And then, Kamiklauflin tells him,
you must not fear fear is the mind killer.
That would be awesome.
Fear is the little death within us all.
Yep.
Spice.
When I saw that as a kid,
I first saw that pilot in the beginning who's in the giant death within us all. Yep. Spice. When I saw that as a kid, I first saw that pilot
in the beginning, who's in the giant tank,
and he's like a whale man, that freaked me out.
I was amazed by that.
If you think of this discussion of doom
as anti-chromatic, just watch the happening.
Where, okay, so the old lady kills herself,
and then the wind comes up, oh no, Mark,
while we're talking through the secret passage
we found out about before, tells his wife
and their new adopted daughter of their friend who died.
They should close all the doors, close all the windows,
ah!
And then he goes, no, I'm gonna come out and be with you.
And he walks out, and then they go, no, we'll be with you.
And they walk out, and everything's fine.
Hello and behold, it's all over.
Oh, thank goodness.
And three months later, goodness and three months later.
Cut to three months later civilization is fine
and there's a guy on TV saying this was an act of nature
and we'll never know.
Yeah another scientist reinterating the idea that
oh you know what science is basically just a bunch of people
not learning about things.
You're just accepting the unknowability of the world.
And Zoe Dishnell learns that she's pregnant and has a big smile on her face because now she can
project all of her own insecurities onto a child and ruin that child's life
but then we cut to Paris oh my god what's going on in Paris guys
no Paris the town Paris not Paris texas either Paris friends yeah it would be
more interesting if it was her i'd be in interesting if it was Harry Dean's stand sitting in a
peep show booth talking to was it Nostascha Kinski?
Yeah, and then suddenly plants started killing themselves, you know.
Oh my god.
The plants are killing themselves.
I would love to see them vendors the happening.
We win winters.
That would have been so well.
But here's the thing.
We win vendors the happening would have had atmosphere and it would have had tone.
You know, say what you will about his movies, they can be slow, but they have atmosphere,
whereas this had nothing for a movie about an airborne toxin, there's no atmosphere
on this movie.
Yeah, airborne toxin that makes you kill yourself, you would expect like, they're like,
well, we can't rely on, you know, normal style fucking like, fright gags to work.
Maybe we should try and focus on, I don't know, getting people to like
the end of this movie. Yeah. They they cut to France and it's like, oh my god, it's happening again.
And it's basically the same ending as 28 weeks later when like it's like. It's like
a spoiler alert. Yeah, spoiler works for 28 weeks later, where the last shot is a bunch of zombies running in front of the Eiffel Tower. I mean I saw that going was going spring back. Yeah.
With a raison. When I saw that it made me a mind.
You're a slow-suffer.
Sakura Blue. Fridge Zombie.
There's a zombie.
And in both cases in this movie and in 28 weeks later which is a much better movie
than this movie but in both cases I was like you realize it was supposed to be creeped out by this
I'm kind of glad. I'm like oh at least the French are getting it to wow
That's really look and hateful towards the friend. I'm not saying is hateful towards her
I'm saying man if it's gonna happen to us
Why not the friend? I wasn't like an extremely anti-American
Movie the reason the point of the attack is because America sucks. Yeah, no blood for oil Why not the friend? But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like- But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like-
But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like-
But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like-
But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like-
But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also like- But it also You know, that's yeah, man smash some Starbucks windows they break open a prison cell with
Mumia
The plants just wanted America to free
Mumia
They could have sped why didn't they just arrange a crop circle that's in free
Mumia dudes of the government which is listen to the plants
Mm-hmm. I think it would be perfect. It's just like that spinal tap song listen to what the flower people say
Yeah, it's but the uh I haven't seen 20 of you
a week later yet, and now my image is literally
of the zombies running with their arms up in the air.
Go, yeah!
It's always slightly less comfortable than that, actually.
Okay, let's go back.
With big backpack, some of their bags.
We are backpacking through Europe.
I'm French, but I'm backpacking through France.
Zombe.
This string of dialogue brings to mind the scene
and that doose big low European jiggle,
where the Canadian tourists run over
and take shit, snacks to cars and stuff.
It's pretty good.
Have I told you my anecdote about doose big low European jiggle?
I was walking home from work
and they had the posters up for it
on construction site or something.
Is it a shan? And someone had and someone had drawn like a public library or not the mayor's office
This someone had drawn glasses and a mustache on Rob Schneider and it made the movie look like it might be a
Sophisticated like kind of foreign sex farce like it was I was like
Yeah, that looks like a very brainy movie now that he has glasses in a mustache The poster instantly instantly became like a Woody Allen movie, you know final judgments
I forgot to do the special Halloween final judgments this time. I'll do it last time. I'll do it this time
Was this film totally
Scarefying
Was it frighteningly funny? I see you sitting at work trying to come up with these or was it totally
Snorrifying? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha back up in the hangage. No, it was like, this wasn't as like a bismill as Lady in the Water where I'm watching them, like, what's going on?
Why am I watching this?
But it also was worse than the other ones.
So this is probably his second or worse.
That's probably the title of his next movie, the other ones.
I'm gonna actually say that I thought this was frighteningly funny.
I...
You were...
Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh, I'm sorry, I was just scared by how funny I thought this was frighteningly funny. I... You were... Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah easy to needle. It's too, you and I watched Lady in the Water together. We did.
I think pre-flop house, we're just like,
this will be hilarious and it wasn't.
It was really bad.
It was boring and painful.
Yeah, it's not a good movie.
This movie was really, I thought there was like
a lot of laughable dialogues.
It's right on the North meter.
That had many more nars than this one.
This one had many fewer ladies in water than that one.
Yeah, let's call Giamatti too, but
More I'm sure he's really disappointed more people running into trees
More people feeding themselves the lions the guy feeding himself the lion looks so disinterested
By lions he was like, huh? Yeah lions ripping my arm off. Well, whatever. I get up. Okay
Yeah, mine's ripping my arm off. Well, whatever. I get up. Okay. Now they're another lion ripping my arm off. What are you gonna do? For me, I think this movie is if you know if you're in the market for a recent bad film
I think this is worth checking out you know once because it's just so
weirdly miscalculated. I gotta say I'm a split up here. Part of me thinks it was
snorrifying snorrifying
But there are other parts of it that were
Frighteningly funny they really poor pieces of writing, you know bad act it you know what I'm gonna say frighteningly funny I'm gonna go on that one. So I was the odd man out
I guess you're gonna have to leave the island
But it's been beautiful knowing you which is also
And I get for all my victory all the spite that pours out of me. Yeah, so that was great
Um, no, and I'll tell you about completely overrated completely
I didn't I already say I want to shoot him no, I don't know if you should say that. Yeah, that seems like a threat You didn't say that you want to punch him. Oh, okay, is that a threat?
It's a lower level threat certainly unless you were gonna shoot him with your fist or punching with a bullet from a gun
Wait, what if I could fire my hands from like my wrist? Oh like can
Yeah, like can from the X-Men comics. Yeah. Then yeah.
That's acceptable. Go ahead. So basically just like you have a built-in extend over.
I'm gonna get excited to say something like mean about him before. You had. Okay. But what I want to say is
he's very rude to waiters and other help staff. Like I feel like in many ways I feel like bad
just that we watch this and we're doing a podcast on it because anything that gives him more like
just that we watch this and we're doing a podcast on it because anything that gives him more like you know all the all probably know all of our listeners like
we're just millions of yeah everybody now like now people might actually go out
and run his movies like I certainly it's nationwide theatrical release didn't
isn't gonna get as many people as this podcast like really Scott makes generally
shitty movies but he's mediocre okay but he has one masterpiece. He's not like
His masterpiece was alien
Okay, I was making sure you were gonna say played no
Blade Runner's overrated too though not as overrated as I might show them and but like M. Night Shyamalan
Just makes terrible movies like a bismill movies and he shouldn't make movies anymore like I'd rather
terrible movies like a bismill movies and he shouldn't make movies anymore like I'd rather uh... they will make movies until i am
one of the only people's a guy who like
you is like fields it's feel like when you're watching a movie by him or you read an interview
with him he comes off as like a crazy funny guy yeah
just a joy in what he's doing yeah where's a much i would do i'd if i made a nothing
but terrible movies i would i would be like I'm gonna make the next one even stupid.
Yeah, like he's the challenge for him now.
Whereas M. Night, any enjoys it.
But like M. Night Shyamalan feels like a guy
who thinks he's doing you a favor by making this movie
and showing it to you.
It's like, you are, you are gonna love this so much.
And I, okay, I'll do it.
You know what, fine, I'll do it.
I'll make this movie for you. Okay, okay, I'll do it. You know what I'll do it I'll make this movie for you okay okay I'll do it you know
it you can watch it you know you love it done anyway give me a million dollars now write a book about how
great I am you know and so forth yeah didn't see that ending coming did you know because I'm that good
but you do see his name is coming I'm going into it like somebody you know obviously somebody
spoiled it for me and was like it like, it's the trees and plants
that are killing people.
So I'm like, my go-k, that's retarded,
but I'll watch it, because that sounds really stupid.
And I go into it, expecting there to be kind of,
like, hidden, like, the little bit of sub-drafuge,
is actually what's going on.
But no, it's like, the first shot is like,
a bunch of trees, like, shooting out,
toxin into people. Like, it's terrible's not like you could have done like the way
Like Cloverfield is not a perfect movie, but they do a good job of kind of like
Portioning out the information about what's going on?
But you know in terms of them seeing TV broadcasts or catching glimpses of things, but here it's like
Season trees scene scene scene scene scene guys says the plants are doing it, scene, scene, scene, the end.
There's no buildup.
You don't get drips of information or anything like that.
Terrible.
I guess what I'm saying is, if you want a movie where people are running around and getting
scared by things, go see Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds.
I guess what you're saying is, it was less like the happening and more like the nappening.
Well, I thought you were going more like the nappening. I thought you were gonna say the crappening
That would have been way better please Elliot more like the flappening
If you were if you were drinking liquor, we're watching more like the grappling
That's good. Yeah
If you were going to the gynecologist who would be more like the peppening
if if it was made with nothing but frogs in the movie would be the hoppinning
Shopping and so forth. Chaplaining
And the show panning
About a pianist we called the show panning and nauseam all right
It was if it started iced cube it would be the rapening.
All right.
Come on.
We've talked very long about it.
So let's quickly go into our actual recommendation
of horror movies.
Clapening.
For people who are looking for horror film,
the saloene, something that they actually like.
Stewart?
Yeah.
This is going gonna be rough.
The only movies I've seen recently were Fuels Gold,
which was not a horror movie,
but I think it was every other kind of movie.
And I watched this totally insane French movie
directed by Enke Ballal, the comics artists,
who you might remember from the Nicopole trilogy and various other bullshit that was in Heavy Metal Magazine back in like the 90s.
And that was crazy and retarded.
And what was the name of that crazy retarded?
Immortal.
I don't know.
How did I recommend the League of Gentlemen?
Did I recommend that last time?
No, you were talking to me about it on the web at all, my thing.
League of Gentlemen, it's a British comedy show.
Part of me wants to recommend it because Little Britain has just come to the States,
and it gets a lot of credit.
But, uh, League of Gentlemen, they have a couple seasons out,
you can probably find it.
I think they showed on BBC America every once in a while.
But it's great because it's all these guys' point.
It's the comedy group that play all the characters in this weird little town in England.
And if you took out the live track, it would definitely be a horror movie. It's the comedy group that play all the characters in this weird little town in England.
And if you took out the live track, it would definitely be a horror movie.
Like it's just totally creepy and weird and kind of gross.
That's true. It is an off-putting show.
Well, before I make my recommendation, I want to say,
Stuart, I watched one of your previous recommendations inside or as a
friend say, a lot interior. And I watched the signal recently to you on your
recommendation. I want to warn listeners that if they like really unpleasant
experiences inside is something they should watch once. Much like I would
recommend audition say to be watched
auditions come on that's not that scary now that's scary but unpleasant this is actually more unpleasant
I'm pleasantly boring this is more unpleasant you were then I like me K stuff you know that's the you know
my god audition is is is is is harrowing at the end.
However, inside is harrowing through
two thirds of the movie at least.
I almost barfed once when watching it.
So I just-
You've got a very strong standpoint.
Especially with Gore, yeah.
I've seen the porn you look at, and it is horrifying.
It's horrifying, right?
Yeah.
Like, I can't stop.
I don't know.
I like, you know, I like horror movies,
but I like a good creature feature. Sure, but I like I like a good creature feature
Sure, like something like American wear from London. Good slasher master
Something with some laughs and some thrills sure inside
I recommend
Cools Goldies
What?
What is Goldies movie?
You saw you see the poster in the theater and you're like that's a poster that was made as a prop for another movie.
That's not a real movie.
The thing about that movie is it was like...
It's like in burn after reading,
whether that German Maroonie film.
Coming up...
Coming up Daisy.
Coming up Daisy, yeah.
Would you just get down out of that tree?
The thing about Fools Gold is that,
like, they're building off of the comedy chemistry that's
already present from how to lose a guy in 10 days.
But not the same characters.
Yeah, no, but the same actors.
Yeah.
So they're pretty much the same character.
You got they prom in the trailers and poster.
They promise lots of bikini and shirtless Matthew McConaughey shots.
So both like boyfriend and girlfriend are like,
hmm, I wouldn't mind watching that one.
And then there's something we can mutually masturbate to.
They also throw in like a treasure plot,
like a plot with treasure.
And Donald Sutherland.
Sounds great to me.
And sign me up.
And Ray Winsdow.
Sign me up times two.
That's true.
Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's,
how much would you pay for this movie, 39.99?
Well, guess what?
Right now, you can get it for $19.99.
All right, guys.
So what, I've missed the inside recommendation.
What's that?
No, the inside was just saying that, like,
it's a genuinely upsetting film.
So it's a, it's a French movie.
We just got to know what you're getting into.
I don't know.
My actual recommendation, It's terribly disturbing.
My actual recommendation however,
I'm just looking at my own DVD shelf
because I did not thank this for before the podcast.
I'm gonna recommend Slyther.
You call?
The James Gun film.
Oh yeah, from Project Runway.
Yes, yes.
Yes, Tim Guns movie Slyther
about an alien
Intelligence who comes down to earth with a bunch of worms that in inhabit people
Churning them into zombies
like
Yeah, it's got Nathan Phillian in it from Firefly
gender Fisher T.P.'s Pam from the office has a small role.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, as you say, Michael Rooker's in it,
Henry Porter of the serial killer is Elizabeth Banks,
popular comic actress.
She's in W.
Yeah, she is.
So it's a good 1980s style horror comedy
and it's got a lot of practical special effects,
a lot of gross makeup
It's a lot of fun. Scary stuff, huh? Yeah, I just had one in mind
And then I lost it for a second
I was the peanut butter solution wasn't it? No, well, were the world's Stevens-Peele work recommend that
That was better than this movie if you want to see something
With the same kind of like an older thing maybe with like the same kind of mounting terror feel that this was going for but doesn't then
Children then village of the damned is good in that way the first like 10 or 15 minutes that movie all the women in this town
Fall asleep at once and no one knows why it's like there's a radius around the town and if you enter it you fall asleep and
The takes like 10 or 15 minutes at the beginning the British military kind of like sending guys over and trying to figure out
Where this perimeter lies and how they can get past it and it's actually really good and suspenseful in a way that
You wouldn't expect it to be and then of course there's like crazy children with hypnotic eyes and stuff. That's really good
George Sanders in that movie
Yeah, I think he's the school teacher actually. If I remember incorrectly,
but that one's really good or or or if you've never seen there's a documentary that they
made or a faux documentary that made in the 60s called the war game about this is what
would happen if England was struck by a nuclear attack during a wider nuclear war. And
it takes you as in documentary style,
kind of like step-by-step, here's how it happened,
and here's what the people were like, here's what they did next,
and it gets across the idea.
Again, the idea that happening was going for of like,
we don't know what's going on, there's a wider catastrophe
and we're just part of it, and there's nothing we can do about it
in a much better way.
This is a documentary, the BBC commission from a director's name, I don't remember.
And they considered it too graphic and too frightening
to be shown on television.
So it was given a theatrical release,
and it was either nominated or one best
documentary short subject from the Academy Awards.
Really scary, and in a way where it's like,
you're worried that that's gonna happen
when you wake up the next day.
And also, you know what, why not?
The thing, I don't care, throw it in there.
Again.
John Carbenter's the thing.
John Carbenter's the thing, brilliant movie.
One of the best horror movies ever made in my opinion.
I agree.
And it just does everything so well
that this movie fucking is shitty about.
The characters are really fun and interesting
and you believe them.
It's really suspenseful.
You genuinely are worried about them
and don't know what's gonna happen next, you know, and then the ending is, could be seen as an
anticlimax, but it's so perfectly done at the end that, you know, you feel good about
it.
And I would go so far as to say, best will for Brimley movie.
Oh, by far.
Wait a minute, hard target.
Oh, you make some good points.
Sorry, you have to reach right now. Hard target, target thank you so what is that for recommendations from me yeah
to on that
and on that new plot house record
and if you want to just see a weird movie i just finished watching the
president's analyst
with james all right as a crazy movie
jesus java
so i'm a talking shark who were it plays in a band
drums in place drums in an underwater band
How does he how does he hold the drumsticks right with little fans?
I think he wraps his fins around Elliott in Stewart hash this out. He doesn't have thumbs, but he talks like curly
That's a nice I've I've been Dan McCoy and I've always been Stewart Wellington and I will continue to be Elliot, can I?
Sorry about all the recommendations that came in there. I needed to get the happening out of my face out of my mouth.
Why am I young Miss Magsie?
I know young Miss, I don't know what.
Well they have this little column where I'm.
You're not reading to miss magazine. My young I never read it
That was a magazine that friends of mine in middle school used to go look it up in the library
Yeah, yeah, and just look at pictures of girls
And it's well, we'll I don't maybe the guys I was with were doing it for that
I was I was reading it with them like we'd sit around the table and somebody would read out the
To say anything section which would be girls like riding in embarrassing stories and then
they'd rate a bunch of self-actor. And my favorite was the one where the girl, uh,
was at a pharmacy and there was like a hot guy working there and, uh, she,
as she decided to get some candy, uh, that was behind the counter and, uh,
she asked for greasy penis instead of Reese's pieces. Uh, never happened in the world.
Well, that was written by a 45 year old copywriter editor who works for the magazine.
Well, good thing for you sir. Good stuff.
Till that to blushing in Bermuda.
This is sure. Let's dig into the show.
Okay, deep dish flop house.
This is sure.
Let's dig into the show.
OK.
Deep dish flop house.