The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #31 - Swing Vote
Episode Date: February 15, 20090:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 3:41 - We introduce guest host extraordinaire Will Hines.3:42 - 33:37 - What happens when the American election comes down to JUST ONE VOTE? Wait. You s...ay that would never happen? Shit. Then what are we gonna do about this Swing Vote movie? I guess we should just make fun of it.33:38 - 38:23 - Final judgments. Plus: the weirdest joke ever to appear on The Flop House.38:24 - 51:09 - Letters from listeners.51:10 - 58:26 - The sad bastards recommend.58:27 - 59:17 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
In this new era of hope and change, we discuss swing vote, the world's most irrelevant political satire. Hello and welcome to the flop house. I'm Dan McCoy.
I'm Elliot Kaylen.
And I'm Will Hines.
That's right. We have a guest because Stewart was called a way to Baltimore.
Ooh.
No doubt Stringer Bell is up to his old tricks.
Yeah, Stuart's demand is stop him.
Yeah, to go team up with Omar on something.
Exactly.
Elliot's now started watching the wire, so he can start making these.
I've seen the first four of the 25 discs in the series.
That's great.
That's so bad though, from five seasons.
That's like when it starts to get good.
It requires more investment of time than any other series that's been raved about
I liked it from the I liked it from the first episode
Okay, it is I can see it getting richer over time, you know, but yeah, but this isn't the wire case
No, oh if only this was the wire house
The wire house that sounds like a good indie band. It does sound like a good indie band
Okay guys. Yeah tonight. We found the wire house the best indie band on the market like good indie band okay guys yeah tonight we found the wirehouse
the best indie band on the market yep I call tambourine oh so is that kind of indie band we find
any band we take over for them so will yes let's introduce will he teaches at the upright
services brigade theater in New York City that's great I'm just curious what you knew about me um
you know we we have met in passing at a couple of different events.
I don't know how much information you actually picked up.
But that's right. Yeah.
He's a, how much information? I don't know. I know that you're a comics fan.
Yeah, that's right. I do. I love comics.
Oh, it's cats.
He owns cats. Yes.
He's a sketch and improv.
Dude.
Dude. Yep.
And I was on the internet today.
Oh, yeah.
And I saw that you have a role in the upcoming film the mystery team
Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, but Jared comedy. Yeah, it was a sudden. So technically I was at Sundance. I was viewed at Sundance
I got a lot of good reviews. Yeah, it's a very good movie. I have two lines of exposition
I'm the name of my guy was reasonable principal. I'm not kidding. I established the main character
And then that's it, but it was really fun. I was pretty glad now. I have this right
Let's see if I have it right. It's a movie about a an aging team of boy detectives
Yeah, the hardy boys are the three investigators right, but now they're almost at a high school
And they're still solving crimes the same way, but they have to solve a murder with those techniques
So that sounds like a pretty good. I'll make that movie. Yeah, I've accepted your pitch
So I'm not pitching to you. Well, we're in production. I'm giving you a green light. Yeah, it's a green light
Yeah, so if you so when can I expect to script by?
I guess it's already written in shot and produced so later tonight I get email it's right
It doesn't matter because other people have made it and own it. Let's get this thing in the can.
I'm excited to be working on it.
You see what matter.
This is gonna be our next big production.
As your friend, I would you know,
if you make this movie,
you'll be wasting your time with somebody else own.
Michael Sarah and maybe Woodie Narellson.
You'll probably get to do.
You'll probably get to do.
You might be able to have your movie surpassed this one.
Currently.
I think I see who else is being on the,
I think I can get Miley Cyrus for this. for this okay well this is a legal problem waiting to happen
and i'm going to call it the derrick movie
yeah man about oil derrick's
well so but
a movie about oil derrick's yeah like seriana
oh yeah you're right i get that was going to say why hasn't that been made before
but i guess it has yep
but we didn't watch the mystery team tonight we watch the
swing vote yes
a political movie in this new era of almost a political fabled really
kind of yet i would say that's about right it the only thing keeping it from being
a totally fabled political fabled is that there was no magic or supernatural
happening right
no wizards unfortunately right or no ms
uh... movie where they had where a presidential election comes down
to the vote of a single man, and you're not gonna believe
which man, the least likely guy.
I know what you're thinking.
It's obviously gonna be a college professor.
Someone who sued it to make that choice.
So that's an education, a historian.
So he reads the paper now and then.
Yeah, nope.
No way.
This is like the worst guy.
You had to pick one guy to have a vote.
This guy's way to the bottom of the list. He is the left vote you would swing
I wouldn't go that far. I mean like he's not a serial killer or something
But a serial killer might have some good ideas a serial killer who have some focus. Yeah, like a serial
He's got an issue. Let me just killing just the same way the movie is topics
But he's saying really vote on one issue getting the voices in my head to stop right a little issue voter No, no good. That would be an easy got a pander to though. Mm-hmm. I mean
You know, I imagine a pardon a presidential pardon would be involved somehow
But Charlie Kaufman wrote the movie it would be like a multiple skits of friend at who was the one guy
There was like four different movies going on at once each pandering to the different personalities
Well, if he was a if he needed a pardon that would mean he'd been convicted in which case he's a felon.
Well, but as you pointed out, Elliot's Kevin Costner's character is a time felon.
And what is the name of Kevin Costner's character? His name was Ernest Johnson.
Yes, named Bud. The names in this movie are awesomely.
They're not imaginative in every way. What was the name of the and the reporter that
Kate Madison? Kate Madisonison his daughter's name is that's how i could
is the channel singer you know like a youth definitely he sounds
constructed the presidential candidates are green leaf
and i think boon is the other one yeah boon is uh well we should start
you should guess which ones the democrat though
yes green leaf or boon green leaf uh will's the Democrat though. Oh, the Spoonleaf or Boone Leaf.
We'll turn the movie.
You could remember the name of the other public in here.
Probably, and you're like, what's his name?
Money weapon?
Yeah, I thought that.
I thought that.
Elliot.
Green Leaf.
You're good at quickly summing up the plots of things.
Why don't you do that rapidly?
Sure.
You're a blurred machine.
Thank you.
What blurred machine?
Activate.
We're introduced to Kevin Costner. he's plays urnis johnson
he's not very good at anything he works at an egg factory
with a lot of mexicans and judge ryanhold
and his daughter is very smart
uh... she is
the proctor she's like the leesa simpson of this to person single parent family
right
uh...
uh... kid in a new sound movie but she doesn't swear
exactly march and part and Martin Bart and Maggie died somehow.
Probably a plane crash. Yeah. And maybe like Marge hangs on for a couple days but then
unfortunately, that's the way. Boy that show would take a really different turn.
So very, we should just say a show. Yeah. It's like a million dollar baby of sitcoms.
20 years of happiness enjoyed and the end of it at the end of it.
I don't even want to watch it anymore. No, just, every episode from before that has been ruined because you know it.
Like, you can't watch it because you know it's going to happen to these characters.
Oh, but anyway, so Molly is a, is a prodigy.
She's very interested in politics.
She's precocious.
She's very precocious, no way movie kids are.
And she takes care of her dad.
More than he takes care of her.
Yes.
Am I the only one who noticed that?
Oh, no, wait.
We were reminded reminded that in every
alright yes and it's election days coming up it's two thousand eight
yes important election of our lifetime between two white guys
who ones vaguely republican ones vaguely democrat
yeah and uh... she says that don't forget to vote dad
dad was to do report on you voting
he even runs into a sign that says uh... remember to vote goes and drinks
oh shit i'm supposed to vote today
Once outside hits his head on literally says it says vote today. Yeah, and hits his head so hard that he has trouble getting to his car
And passes out yeah inside of it, which means he must have gotten the concussion
And his daughter he's not here. Uh-oh the voting poll is almost closed the vote the poll watchers asleep
I'll just sneak in and vote for him.
Unfortunately, due to a mishap with a vacuum cleaner that knocks out an electric plug, the
machine stops mid-vote.
Suddenly, the entire election has come down to New Mexico's vote.
They're in the town of Texaco, New Mexico.
It's split 50% of the time.
Some, and very implausibly, new mex goes like troll votes for
decide this one and just this county every this county every
county in new mexico is fifty fifty right including we
have to assume absentee ballots right and just this one
vote will tip the whole thing well as new mexico goes
so goes the nation alley it has it's literally been the
most important state in the year never ever has it ever been an important state short long story short
The election board comes and gets him they tell him you have to vote and for some reason they allow him to just
Dic around as long as he wants before like yeah, it seems like two weeks it's 10 days all right at the
Invent he says it's been a crazy 10 days the press finds out the country hostage
It's been a crazy 10 days. The press finds out the country hostage.
Intrepid him local reporter, Kate Madison, and her very excitable boss, George Lopez.
Yes.
Discover that that bud Johnson is the mystery swing vote after Chris Matthews appears on
TV like a thousand times explaining that the election is neck and neck.
And everyone heads to Mexico and both presidential candidates, one of whom is the incumbent incumbent decides to take about a week off from being president so they can woo him
very personally
at that point
not if he wins the election
but until it's decided i mean no one's gonna be
uh... amazingly high number of unbelievable things that one's not super
crazy like it did come down to one guy
only because we've had a president for eight years would just take
vacations for long periods of time
You just wouldn't believe that he would devote the whole ten days to wooing this guy. No, he would take some days off
This is tiring. I'm gonna take a day off to just well
I've done my part like I imagine there are days when Bush just lay in bed all day
Yeah, I do it just staring at the ceiling. Mm-hmm. Anyway, but they come down both candidates start more and more just saying whatever
They think bud wants to hear his daughter becomes disillusioned with the political process and
Both candidates leave abandoned their platforms and their parties
Almost completely just to pander to bud. Boone makes a net wildlife preserve out of buds favorite fission holes
Nothing happens to it and when bud says he's pro-life because he doesn't know what that term means. Yes. Green leaf play by oh Kelsey grammar plays the conservative Dennis
Hopper plays the liberal. Dennis Hopper gives a commercial where he's all in
favor of pro he's very pro-life also when Kelsey grammar comes out as pro-game
marriage. Yes. There are publicans all the sudden supporting
game. It's like the democrat is anti-abortion. It's a crazy topsy-turvy world.
And should I go to the end of the movie or no? Yeah, just jump to it. Okay.
After a while they and a very strange tangent where they go find Molly's birth mother
who's a drug addict.
She's clearly strong out on heroin.
They go to Bud wants to see one last debate.
So he decides to moderate a debate between the two presidential candidates.
He gives a 45 minute long speech.
It feels like about what's important in America.
And then he goes into vote the next day pulls the curtain on the ballot booth
and then a little wink to the audience don't stop
fate to black or cut to black yeah movies over who's he gonna vote for
only you can decide America yeah it's your vote accounts
is that the cardboard democrat or the cardboard Republican yeah
was the smartest decision they made at that point because
that best thing you want to see that point is the movie to end
yeah well this is a long movie
i i i don't i said i don't know how i didn't see that coming the open ended
ending because
you know halfway through i said that the only way that they were going to
resolve this would be have one of them become the
president one become the vice president switch off
every door every year for
bud to suddenly you know what let's just redo the whole election and bud gets elected president
yeah because they're both presented as a basically decent candidates the public
yeah there's the villains in this are the campaign managers Stanley Tucci and Nathan
Lane who you got to do it with this one's important is winning we got to win I don't know I did
a richer Nixon voice for that he was nixy every character in this movie has one job and they do it every single line
Constantly we're constantly reminded like she's a pro-cocious kid. He's a dumb guy
It's character, you know opens doors dorms in and says I am here to remind you why I'm in this film
There's lots of plot it's like watching an episode of Law and Order because like in the beginning of every scene
They summarize everything that's happened so far. Yeah, even though the title almost summarizes the entire plot
It could have started 50 minutes into the film like ever since I voted wrong my life's being crazy
Yeah, and then like a let me be like a two-minute flashback and then well and that would have
Skimmed over some of our major problems with the movie because the
first hour you're saying yeah the basic premise of this film I don't care whether it's a comedy I
don't care whether it's a movie like the premise is unworkable because as we all pointed out several
times through the movie number one it would never come down to one vote you know like not not
certainly not on election day wouldn't come down to one No, there there would be abs deep ballots, you know
That's when long before the margin of error is that small goes to the courts
We know a recount you
You need to be happened before the year 2000 you might have me because I wouldn't even know yeah
But since this actually happened in 2000 a close election not even nearly as close as this just went to the Supreme Court
And they picked do they wanted to be president like that's what would happen
That's I saw it. I remember I don't know anything Yeah, what would happen that's what I saw it I remember I'm not I don't know anything
yeah I know that that's what I kept expecting one of the like
all the characters to anything all the characters to
suddenly recover from their amnesia and be like what are we
doing yeah
this guy
which is not works James Carvill's on TV and he's like ah
I was an average of 18 20 is when it went to the House
representatives and it's like one true one that happened in 1876 also but to like
Okay, then the election should go to the house of the right. Yeah, why does this you are saying the plot of a smarter movie?
Yeah, exactly. Oh and you all it's we're really keen on doing this movie
Mainly because you wanted to object to how I was like everything about I was so ready to be fact be
horrified by its factual inaccuracies but you were and you're correct to
at least at least in that and I got a certain amount of fun from that
yes but it was just it's weird because it wasn't the movie I thought it was
going as often happens when we when I'm looking forward to a movie that we're
going to do it wasn't the movie I thought it was going to be like I figure
it was going to be like a really wacky over the top
country thought we're watching the third man to that. Yeah, I can't wait for Carol reading
Grand Prix's meditation on good intentions and moral ambiguity. Oh, guess what guys? I got swing vote
Oh, we're compelled to watch whatever you bring watching jewels and Jim we're watching swing
Vogue but I thought it was gonna be a much goofier movie than one is, but like, it was a really slow pace, not a good movie.
And as you pointed out, many times we're like, a really fake looking movie.
Yeah, it was amazing in that.
Like, the movie was high budget with talented cast, well lit, like just well produced.
Like if you didn't speak English and you walked through the room and it was going on,
you'd glance at the screen and be like, that's probably a good movie and you'd keep going.
Oh, no, political moment.
Yes.
But every single moment, especially in the first half
the movie, rang so untrue.
Like in the way of it, when they show a bunch of guys
in a bar, it doesn't look like a real bar.
It looks like a bunch of actors in a bar set.
Yeah.
Are you telling me that Judge Reinhold
is not convincing as a back country agent? I'm telling you worse than that. Not only was
Judge Reinhold not, Judge Reinhold actually was the most
convincing red bag and all of the Mexican extras in the background
looked like a bunch of guys with sag cars. Like they just did
it just everything looked sort of like it was it was the charades
version. Yeah. Give me two syllables and I'm gonna try to
betray you what somebody looks like. They go down. They'd go through oh, give me two syllables and I'm gonna try to portray you. What somebody looks like when they're in a bar.
They'd go through the Main Street of the town
and it was like, okay, they put up enough buildings
to make it look kind of like the Main Street of it.
Even like a dying Southwestern town
would have a few more buildings.
Like the Main Street wouldn't literally be like 50 feet long.
There's something in the details of it
that you could tell it wasn't real.
Nobody thought at any level.
Although if there's women out there who really wanted to see Judge
Reinhold and a ballast and a big mustache.
This is the movie.
The weird thing was I still like Judge Reinhold.
No, stupid dialogue.
You see it's part.
And at the end of every line, like the front part of my brain
would be like, that was stupid.
And my loser brain was like, like him.
Relate to him.
Enjoy him.
He good.
He good. He good.
But this movie reminded me a lot of the movie,
Bridget Jones Diary, which has the same feel of like this feels like it's taking place
entirely in an unreal world.
Everything's, it's professional.
That's a good comparison because that movie could have been pretty good, I think.
But it was like fake editor.
And it's like, this is an office in quotes.
I still don't think it was very good. But like, isn't office in quotes and here's the box very good
But like there's a part where Hugh Grant and Colin Firth like getting to a fist fight out on in the street
The street yeah, there's nobody in the street. It's dessert and the snow is beautiful
Actually that movie was run by the soundtrack. I'm like the one defender of Bridget Jones's diary
I don't like that movie. I read the book and I don't remember why and that's a whole
Pro I don't even know but I thought the book was funny saw the movie and it wasn't funny. I mean, I'm all for
Artificiality in a movie like I saw like gremlins like well gremlins is deliberately
Like it's in a backslug no, that's the thing the houses and things and gremlins look like real houses
Yeah, but I mean well even like I'm obviously also a conscious choice
They're like I'm gonna make this look like the old horror movies that I grew up with
Yeah, yeah, I do have a small town but at least the rooms look like rooms people live in and it's lit like maybe light would actually look in real life
Yeah, you think that they carted in light from some I think they bottled light from the outside world and then they opened the bottle in a some movie rush more is movie that has an other
worldly feel at every turn yeah it doesn't feel like the real world at all and
it's not naturalistic it's like still did and you looks like yeah this is a movie
this was arranged and are directed by an obsessively weird dude but like it
fits the story and it helps it helps whereas this the premise is so crazy
That you need like the other things to be realistic feeling. Yeah, right right to the names Kate Madison's a reporter
But my nicknames bud the most stupid nickname that nobody really has
Well, I also like I mean they call me fishbone, you know, like I don't understand like the thing behind Ernest Johnson
They're like, okay, we want people to know this character sincere so we'll call him Ernest right every man
And then we'll give him a name that means penis for his last name
I feel like it was like a bunch of producers came up with the idea for the movie
But then the script writers never changed any of the specifics they come up with I will change this this is stupid
Let's say his name's Ernest okay, whatever. Let's go with him like green leaf
That's not that not that much. Okay, let's go.
Texaco in the max. It doesn't matter.
Call it whatever you want.
You know, it works in like when egg factory something.
Something.
The water comes up and she's like a little miss primitive.
Madison Avenue.
Kate Madison.
Take that out.
Take that out.
That's crap.
Egg factory.
That's a blue color job, right?
It's quirky.
Quirky.
Put it in.
Yeah, a lot of egg factories.
And so, uh, Texas.
But there were parts that we did like the movie overall, it starts out as a really boring comedy.
Super heavy handed.
And then it becomes on the exposition.
Very heavy, any exposition.
Then it becomes a really boring, heavy handed drama
about the importance of no, nobility and politics like this.
Yeah, and then there's, yeah,
and the kids are betraying themselves.
And this weird personal drama.
Yeah.
Of the dad and the daughter,
but that was kind
of good right like it was like a different movie yeah if it was daughter runs away to
her birth mother I mean birth mother she doesn't have a stepmother but she gets she runs away
to her mother's and it's marijuana and like this is whole like many it's hard for you yeah
yeah it's like this is clearly a woman who had this daughter wants the mother to be a good
mom and she knows she can't and in the
audience and we were saying this multiple times like how much of a fuck up does
that woman have to be to be a more
cautious yeah as custody
but he's only cartoon bad like he sleeps in a hilarious way cracks open a beer
right at eight o'clock and she's real bad like she's like for real scary like
the wire of time the drunk tank that like with a big key on the wall
And the sheriff lets him out to answer the phones. That's the world. He's living in in this movie
Yeah big pet sheriff. Yeah sleeping with his chair tilted back and like
Costor comes out locks himself in the cell and then oh god got a chair
No, I'm using a broom handles to get
Well, I mean well,, like Mayor Winningham
is giving guys blow jobs for crack.
Yes.
It's a different, but like that's,
it hinted at a much better movie that this could have been
if it had nothing to do with the presidential election.
It's, like, it was just about a guy and his daughter
and, you know, they have to get along
and she's too smart for them.
Right.
So it was weird to see how it was bad and how it was good,
because, well, another part of the there was another part that was all the
other good part was the uh... or the night what would you want what we can say
that was bad the ham the over explaining like the over indicating early in the
movie when it's revealed to the world that there's this one guy who has the
vote and they found out who it is they cut to somebody a new station watching
Kevin Costner come out of his trailer and in the new station he turns on his manager and goes, I don't believe it.
What is it like? I don't know. He says to be like, uh, this can't be this guy.
Or it's like, but then later like, oh, there's all this press in town and Molly logo is like, this is getting weird.
Yeah, as if talking right to the audience in case you fell asleep.
This entire movie is, Yeah, it's not.
This part of the movie is pretty weird.
You must have looked right at the camera.
Why not even go all the way.
Look right at the audience and be like, this seems pretty meaningful.
But the good thing about it was they show these ads that the presidential candidates
are making to appeal to Bud and they're like, it's like they hired
a college sketch group
to like do these scenes for a movie like they're really funny and crazy.
It was so over the top that I love them.
There's like he's like I don't like that people are losing their jobs to Mexicans and
so Dennis Hopper is striding towards the camera through a desert as illegal immigrants
just run past him at top speed racing.
And then the court of Mexicans signed in and he's acting as if he's oblivious to what's going on
around him
right to the idea of a democratic president giving an anti-immigration ad
might have been the point to try to make that was funny but the real funny is
which is how insanely over the top of the commercial was
and the thing about abortions bad and he's standing in front of a playground
full of children and the children begin exploding and puffs of smoke
right and just a little bit of color and abortion and then the end hes of smoke. Right. And disolvering color and abortion.
And then at the end, he holds up a ball and he says something about intelligent design.
The ball turns into the earth.
Like it's just great.
It was really funny.
I guess maybe what I'm thinking of his hand at exposition was just over the top, but at
a part right needed the movie to be real.
Yeah.
Like when he first walks out of his trailer to discover the press and there's not just
like the crowd of like eight to ten reporters outside of his door. There's like
200 or 300 reporters with huge flood lights. These lights that don't go. He
opens the door. Is there somebody out there and suddenly? Yeah. It's like
first and then what's the open to the lights come on. They waited for him. Yeah.
Surprise. Like it was a birthday party from the press.
Sure. Eventually he'll go outside. Yeah.
Then we'll start yelling questions.
They weren't making, there was a huge, huge crowd.
They weren't making any noise.
And Telekeven, Kostner opened the door.
Then they're like, turn the lights on.
Everyone start talking.
This has to do with the theory that you had will.
It made the movie a little bit more interesting.
Yeah, I believe that Kevin Kostner,
it's never said explicitly, but that everybody in the movie
is inanimate
unless being looked at by the main character.
That everybody is completely still until Costner looks
at him, the camera pans over,
then they can come to life and move.
Of course apart, Kate Madison has an American Indian camera man.
And she's eating dinner with Kevin Costner and Molly.
And you don't see the cameraman,
you just see this little three.
You just see the three of them together.
And she's like, maybe I can interview you and Kevin Costner's like oh all right and suddenly he looks over and the camera pans over
And the Indian is just sitting there holding the camera and chair and then suddenly gets up real quick points the camera Adam
And you were like oh that guy was an adamant until right
I looked right into statue until Costner used his life giving raise came out of his eyes
It's definitely a thesis that you know has support in the text
It's like it's like a remake of it's a good life
So yeah, it's like it's a good life, but not as good and without you know the human Jack in the box
I think it's fun when watching these movies to decide what you'd have to do at this point to make it a genuinely good movie
What would have to happen to save it and like the further you go along the harder that is yeah
But but this I feel this theory I think it improves the movie greatly I think it saves it
although the like also the idea that I wish that they were that they ended with him choosing the
president and then the president starting a nuclear war and there's just a shot of chemical
stone better love as a mushroom cloud goes off behind him you know well I guess I made the wrong
swing vote.
Yeah.
The one that you guys were talking about was there's a point in during Kevin and
Kostner's 10 minute mile long.
25 minutes.
He is at the end of speech that he gave where he talks about the letters he received.
It's a movie where importance is signified by people bringing bags and bags of
letters.
Yeah, it's like Miracle 34th street, but bad.
Right. I wish I could see when that judge got lost his license as a judge.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, excuse me, why did you say in the law now, the American law,
that that man is Santa Claus, that's your responsibility.
You've set the precedent that if anyone gets a lot of mail, that means.
He just that they have to prove that a lot of mail was sent to somebody.
That means that someone must exist uh... now bernie maddorf as like ten million letter innocent care to
bernie maddorf and they got delivered to us president you know what were your grounds for this
judge arm just crazy i don't know but the one that you guys were saying was uh... during that long
speech he's like i got your letters and they touched me. And you, Elliott, said, in my butt.
And then the movie should have cut there.
Like it was a big,
shiny bug.
It was an hour and 45 minutes set up.
Just see what you say in my butt at a surprising moment.
So really, and then like a huge bait and switch.
He says, he says right, seriously, in my butt.
And then you just see him real quick,
lands off camera and then,
boom, cut. Like, all the credits in 15 seconds black music like this
but he wants you to know that he knows it's a joke and he knows he just wasted two
hours of your time if they did that and then they actually took the real snippets from reviews
he used their average all the way to be like what? No really it would at people would the first week and that movie would sell out
There'd be rioting in the theaters it'd be like the right spring. It's not it is to show up be like finally
They would like be super excited the ending bears out the rest of it
But I yeah, it's not it's a movie that takes its time going nowhere
Well, I'm sure you what I was good. No, I'm just gonna say like's a movie that takes its time going nowhere Well, I'm sorry what I was going to say like for a movie that is
ostensibly some sort of political satire or at least a movie about politics at all the political characters
You have no idea what either of the candidates stand for except for like generic
Generic
It's like generic unemployed people generic reporter nothing. Yeah, I mean that they have like this fear of
Doing any actual satire
Republican is kind of dumb and the Democrat is kind of
Beaker spacey or nervous like phrase. I used to describe the David Mamott film state and man
Where I call him gumming satire like it's not biting satire
It's like gently gumming its victims to the point. What's kind of massaging. Well, they're making fun of the film industry
Right, I feel like whatever makes a film industry or politics
I think it's so hard to be like specific enough and big enough to be funny because the real world that we see every day is already
So crazily heightened, but like in in state main it's like we're really gonna give it to the film industry except everyone who works for it is nice
They're all good people right and this was kind of like that.
Well, would you know that a Kelsey grammar is anti-cancer?
That's the one policy.
Yes, that's true.
He hints at an anti-cancer initiative.
Yeah.
And he likes ice cream.
He mentions at one point.
Yep.
I feel like what they did in this movie was,
they had a pretty good cast.
And there were a lot of moments that
in the midst of being bored out of my mind,
and waiting for this thing to pick up,
and just being unsurprised at every moment,
and having the expososition summarize for me.
Then all of a sudden a moment would happen and I would like smile or I'd laugh and I
think it's because the actors are good.
And I feel like what they did was they made these scenes long and slow with the intention
of let's give these actors time to like react to each other and have some real moments
and it will save this terrible script.
But unfortunately all it did was make its terrible script take forever to get to its ending. Yeah, it didn't really work
It was it's not a ver and I don't know who wrote it or how many drafts it went through or whose hand was it?
Director, but it's not a very good. Oh, well then he you know, I'll blame him
Yeah, it's not a very good script. Well, and you know, I and it's not the happening bed
But it's you know, not good. I remember when this came out like I
the happening bad but it's you know not good. I remember when this came out like I there was a web series
that a friend of mine.
Oh, because I don't remember when this came out.
I was like swing vote.
I can't wait till that comes out so we can do it on the
flop house and then I looked at the ad closer and I'm like,
oh, it came out a week ago.
Oh, it's already out of the field.
Well, but the only reason I was aware of it was a web
series that a friend of mine and I did I wrote a script for it
It was about like two guys two space. It was called captains in space
It was about cat's ever ties your things on well, it's basically done now
But the point was I wrote an episode the internet so that stuff is gone
Yeah, once you post on the internet it expires only on the internet for one day
But I was like great about it
What if there was an episode where
there was a election for president of space and the idea was everyone in
space had to vote
except for these three people didn't vote and so uh... the president's place
played by in this case air shaper who has uh... guest hosted on the flop
as before
comes in
and panders to these people was she up against a toaster
that that that a toaster was the other candidate that would make this movie better
well here's the thing like the dentist hopper was bad if he was a toaster with
democratic leanings i would have been a lot more attention but it talks like
yeah
we got to stop the war on it was just the lit the like the toaster shaking around
you know it's like yeah uh we're down in the polls what are we going to do
but the point was at in that case, the absurdity was part of it.
I'm like, okay, this is a really absurd point.
Yeah, you're not trying to be a politically super-insicive guy.
No, it's like, oh, in the infinity of space,
the idea that everyone voted except for a couple people,
that's the absurd. That's ridiculous.
That's silly.
But here they're trying to play it as if, oh, but that's the jumping off point for a couple people, that's the absurd. That's ridiculous. That's silly. But here they're trying to play it as if like,
oh, but that's the jumping off point for a...
Maybe they wrote like an incisive drama
then they did those political ads first
and they were so funny like, you know what?
Let's just blow the lid off this thing, man.
We're gonna make another airplane.
Every step of this movie is gonna be a slapstick wonderland.
And then halfway through they got cold feet.
Yeah, and they're like, nope, put your speeches in.
Let's make sure people know that we are Americans.
Crackhead mom, crying daughter,
let's crank this thing up.
It was such a week.
It was heartbreaking, man.
I was impressed that that scene worked
in the middle of this.
Like, bring that scene back to its mother ship movie.
Like, where are the movies that thing came from?
Which is probably called like Noir'sville.
Yeah, something like that, or.
Something horrible.
Broke downtown.
Creamy versus Choram.
Creamy versus Choram.
Oh, all right. the saddest movie ever
um Premi versus Premi there's a movie that uh I don't get but anyway
I saw when I was 10 it works then well that's the thing is like thinking back on
an album like there's not really very much going on it's like how was this
dad gonna figure out how to take care of it oh he did oh he did it
because parents take care of children all right yeah you're bad at first you
do it again again you get better where people we learn.
The mother comes back and then he makes a very good case that she's not a reliable mother.
Yeah, even though this movie proceeded the other one, it was as if they're like,
let's take Mr. Mom and turn into a drama.
Yeah, what do we do?
Take that cream versus cream.
Thank God someone's fine, someone's fun. I got the kids doesn't
Costume was too dumb at the top. He's an interesting sort of dumbness. He definitely reads as dumb and everything he does I think yeah, why he's never a smart guy. They're really when he played Louis past your
They really put in a movie called milk strangely enough. Yeah, oh badly named turns out you wouldn't think so
They're like wish movie should really be about Harvey milk
Shouldn't it especially because they were like it was all about homogenization
So like if you're a homo you're gonna love milk
But so it really like
Miss advertised itself and every yeah, but yeah Kevin Koster never plays he's better what he's playing a guy who is not
It's simple, but he's not smart necessarily right. He's like a low brow, like wise. Bull Durham was the perfect pitch for him.
Like, the well-read baseball player.
No fun intended.
Oh right.
God, that's horrible of me in some way.
Bull Durham was the best wolf dance for him.
But when he tries, he's one of those actors who,
I feel like he wants to like show some sort of range.
But then he's like, uh oh, that didn't work.
I better go back to what I know.
But each time he goes back to it, he's forgotten how to do it a little bit
yeah and then he becomes you know stupid over time
the whole first conversation with his daughter where you know she's like you
gotta vote who's running again it's like you know we were never president
you think you think it's a break it that it's Larry the cable guy yeah as the as
the what's for a lot me which ones that it's like come on I mean did you get your shoes on your feet like?
I don't know how not in the politics you are you know with those
simple repetition yeah, you know who's one of her president America
What month is it November?
Are you sure that many syllables in a month is 2008?
I thought Christ hadn't been born yet.
Yeah.
He knows what it's an abbreviation for,
but he doesn't know what year is.
And that would fit this movie though,
because he'd be brilliant and maybe like the wise old guru
in one sentence, then be just like,
he'd be like, well, I don't know, seems like those,
them guys ain't really sticking to their principles.
Who all paints?
Like, it's a push door. Yeah.
God.
You're right, Molly. I should be a better father.
I guess politicians just don't always do what they say.
They're good to do. It's like, wow, this movie's really out there.
I figured that out when I was one.
Okay, well, let's, um,
so what do we do here now?
Talk to while we vote. Yeah, we vote.
It's swinging.
It comes down to, um, I wish swing vote. Yeah, we vote. It's swinging.
It comes down to, um...
I wish swing vote was the story of Tarzan running for president.
We should vote and leave it up to one of us.
Well, there are three of us, so if there's a tie, I don't think...
Oh, man.
I guess you're both going to have to pander to me for votes.
You know, since I assume you guys are done for 10 days.
For 10 days.
Yeah.
Well, that's the other thing.
Let me just say one thing before we vote. They gave him days before the debate not even before he votes right if I was the government
I'd be like listen you need to vote right now right just tell us who you're voting will give you 24 hours
Yeah, you're throwing America into a panic, but instead he's like, I guess I'll vote when I'm good and ready and they're like
Oh, you got us over a barrel swing vote
I don't get that choice literally no other way that we can decide this a look
We all have a 12-hour window to vote the normal voting the ones who work on time
Hmm everyone else in America was able to vote on a specific day
But this guy is outsmarted the calendar. Yeah, and it's gonna have to wait till you see it
Because in America anything stops you from voting we will not stop until everyone wants to vote
It's had a chance there's no history of impeding votes in this country
Never or making it inconvenient or difficult. This is what we're saying before about like the idea that this is a made-up universe for Kevin Costner
Because he's maybe you know constructed a world where he's the most important person in it
Yeah, everyone has to bow down to them. Yeah, right. He's the twilight zone kid that's ordering everybody around
Yeah, even comes back to Willie Nelson or what was the name? What was the race car driver who's in it Richard petty
This movie big name. I want to say this again
I think it was pitched in 1989 and all the references they pitched then remain in the final script because I don't think judge
Reinhold Willie Nelson Richard petty Richard petty those are yeah, this movie is
Waiting for them to start watching the Cosby show.
Right.
Where's the beef?
Where's the beef? Yeah.
I guess my question is, where's the beef?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Politics.
Anyway.
So,
What you just said was more biting than this.
The categories are, um,
Poperie.
Notable Codibles. Pote and Potemals. And, The categories are Poperie notable portables potent portables and
Rotables
Scroding bottles and
Shope and go to balls
I don't know balls I clean up on
You want me in your can you repeat the categories Alex? No, I can't
Chopin go to fullin, go to both. Chopin's go to both.
I thought it was Chopin's go to both.
Chopin's go to both. You made it made more sense.
We play a Chopin song.
When you tell me how well the goats react to it.
I'm a scale from one to five goats.
We assembled a musical scale of these goats.
Yeah, I say three goats, Alex.
No, it was two. If you're wrong.
Of these goats. Yeah, I say three goats Alex. No, it was too if you're wrong
It is the minute waltz for goats. All right. We'll give it to you. You said goats
Chopin go to boss I'm gonna pick you hey kids tired of eating the battle cafeteria food try some go to balls
show me a go to balls
Mom, can I get show me a go to I think you've had enough show pen go to the rules for today Billy. They are the go to bliss
Oh, what a product anyway, can't test in farmer approve. Oh my god. This is the strangest joke that
I don't know stranger than the Teddy Graham's thing. Oh, but we got it. We, we got a vote, right? Yeah, the categories are. Is this a good bad movie, a movie that you recommend
to watch with friends for a few larfs, a bad, bad movie,
one that has no entertainment value or a movie that maybe
you like a little bit.
OK, so as the guests, I'll turn to you first.
Will, please.
This is a bad, bad movie. Too slow and boring despite the few moments that are okay
That's my vote. Yeah, I'm gonna agree on that. It comes close to almost working. How am I gonna break this tie?
My swing vote's gonna come into play. No, that's not how it works that way. We both. Yeah, it comes close to
Working a few times and there are few scenes that are amusing, but overall, and the fucking thing's two hours long.
You don't need two hours for this premise.
No, not at all.
I agree with you guys.
And the times when the movie worked for like 30 seconds
made me hate the rest of it more.
It's like, you people are capable of,
it's like the same way that like,
if a bad kid in class gets a D,
the teacher's like, what are you gonna do?
If a good kid gets a D, she's, she's, sit down and is like, what's going on at home like this
is unacceptable.
Yeah.
Like it could have been much better and there's little flashes of that, but it just makes
the rest of it look that shitier, you know?
Well, maybe Kevin Costner will, you know, he's a new actor and he's still figuring
this thing out and maybe he'll get it.
So, right now I've got a few letters from listeners
that I want to address.
First of all, this one is actually from my eldest brother.
I just want to say that these correspondences
do prove that you exist.
Yeah.
I can't wait to know what the letter to somebody doesn't exist.
This is from Rob, last name withheld.
I think you can guess it.
Your brother, Dan McCoy?
Yeah, he says, first of all, he's disappointed in me
that I was unaware that Thailand has a king.
He says his name.
We would talk to let that out, man.
His name, of course, is Yul-2.
Yeah.
And he commends you, Elliot, that he says that you're correct
that the bloody Valentine, he calls it the bloody Valentine.
My bloody Valentine is technically in four dimensions.
Thank you.
He says he's holding out for the sequel,
My Bloody Valentine, 5D, the Tesser Attack.
A new dimension in a horror.
So there you go.
He's spelled it wrong.
Tesseract.
But that's every movie is in three dimensions.
So a three-dimensional movie is four dimensions.
That's right.
The dimension of time.
Yeah. Wow, it's annoying. It's really irritating.
It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. Correct. It's irritating. Correct. Correct. Stop! Why are you getting me? Don't put me in the locker. I think we've addressed this before, but I think that this is the reason why you came on the daily show to correct John Stewart about Wolverine.
Tell Wolverine, yeah, because I'm an irritating person.
Right.
And this one is from a, someone who's not related to me.
It's from...
Is it from you, Demacoi?
Yeah.
Jeremiah, last name withheld.
I think I probably know that last name.
Dear Flop House.
I've been at Jeremiah, John's. well, you can read the name from where you
sit. That makes it easier. So he says, I've been enjoying your podcast. It's hilarious.
Bangkok hilarious. I have a movie to recommend, although it may fall out of your intended
scope 13 days during Kevin Costearn is Boston accent. It does, it does fall out of your intended scope, 13 days starring Kevin Costearn is Boston accent.
It does fall out of our scope.
It's a little old.
A little old, but I think that it was good that we read this right now.
It could be our Kevin Costearn movie.
But he has several post grips, PS, on the blog, I would enjoy seeing pictures of the flop
house crew watching movies.
You would not enjoy that as much as you think you would.
Yeah, I don't think you would. There's a picture of an active it's not I think there's one picture
on there of us sitting on a couch and there's it's exactly like that for two
hours there's no motion or any right you know my wife is the one you never want
to see like Hawkeyes dad like there's certain people that you never want to see
all my references are 70s is that cool that's all right I guess yeah it's like
Barney Miller's wife.
I'll tell you about that later.
Did he script something and then take a lot of money to get that out of it?
Certainly not.
Don't talk about it on the podcast.
That would be interesting.
Yeah.
Nobody wants to hear about my meeting.
It's a famous screenwriter.
Yes, let's go back to our theories about what they were thinking on the set of sweet
and sweet.
I'm going to talk about it.
I'm going to talk about it.
I'm going to talk about it. I'm going to talk about it. I'm going to talk about it. I'm going to talk about it. I'm going to talk about it on the podcast. That would be interesting. Yeah, nobody wants to hear about my meeting.
Screenwriter.
Famous screenwriter.
Well, yes, let's go back to our theories
about what they were thinking on the set of swing goes.
But what were we talking about?
No, I'm just sharing my answer.
Oh, yeah, pictures of, we should do like a fumetti
of us watching the, you had like your Christmas holiday
thing was kind of a mini fumetti.
Yeah, no, I think that we'll get some photos.
My wife is the one who takes the photo. She was not here tonight. Also, Stewart was not here
But I think in the future we should get some more pictures. He says pps or psx
Pp now pps. Yeah post post well
Yeah, post script script ppx puts post script script here
Come on Jeremiah if while watching movie you guys the flop house three were bombarded with cosmic rays
and bestowed with superpowers based on everyone's
flop house style of commentary,
what would those superpowers be?
And would you use your powers to combat the makers
of the movies you review?
And how would you react to a public that feared you
because of your superpowers?
I wish I was a regular member of this panel
because I get up every morning hoping to be asked
to be a success. Well, I think that we'll open this to Stuart when he's back. I think Stuart will be
careful called the stash and his ability is to wear tiny pants that don't really hide his junk.
And to know when boobs are around. That's good. Well, you're a big comic fan. So I feel like you can jump in on this.
I don't think that we need to exclude you as a co-host. Yeah, so, to, to answer myself first.
Okay, well, I'm sure.
Yeah, sure.
Okay, I'd be some kind of bird costume, hopefully an endangered species like an eagle or a condor.
Okay.
And my ability would be to interrupt and to say somebody else's idea as they were saying
it.
It's my superpower would be.
I think I would be, I think I'd be something called like the librarian or the professor.
I can see the professor librarian. I would be I would have an entirely tweed sort of unitarred and a pipe and
a Tweeted chart. He's got elbow passes and that unitaried incredibly
a comfortable Mr. and it scratches like oh my god I'm chafing. They call me Mr. Chaf
and my power would be to be consistently I hope you have Kalamine lotion on the inside of that costume.
Consistently avoid matching others and their quips because I'm concerned about keeping
the show on track.
You'd have a subtle voice of authority that fails to keep us in line.
Yeah.
Time for the next bullet point, you'd say.
And I'd be chatterbox, the Joker of the group, even more nasal end annoying than I am in real life.
Or the, or the corrector, the referenceizer.
The Astrix.
The Astrix, that's a good one.
I think I'd be called chatterbox.
I don't think that's the right word.
And my, my cost and I'd have like those wind up teeth, I'd have one in the, the one in each
hand and I'd go, like, like point them at people.
You irritated the criminals back into jail.
I've got it it rather be jail
Not another moment you get people like a minor rash by those chattering teeth
Biting their arms. Ow. Ow those teeth and stop talking about my shame my life in four chapters
Wow, it's a poll shrader people it's rare that I don't think about that movie ever since I saw it
It's good. It's really good. I don't think I've ever seen any of his movies. I mean I said Tasty driver But now the other ones I've seen these directed. I like this one. I'm it's good. It's really good. I don't think I've ever seen any of his movies. I mean, I saw a taxi driver, but not like the one's
I've seen these directed. I like this one a lot. It's much better. It's a lot of focus was a lot of focus. The reference
Sir blue collar. Yeah, he's he's done some good ones, but I've mischievous only when I saw where I was like by him
I was like blown away by I like blue collar a lot blue collar is not bad. Um, that's the one in a, there's a book called What Happens Next, which is supposed to be a
history of Hollywood screenwriting and it kind of, it's a pretty good book but it like
skips a lot at times.
But it talks about Paul Schrader directing Blue Caller and I almost were definitely breaking
down in tears on the set because Richard Pryor and Yaff at Cotto hated each other so much.
And Richard Pryor turning to him and going, are you gonna be a man or are you gonna be a pussy
when Paul Schrader is like in tears on the set
of his own movie.
So, wow.
He's an interesting character, Paul Schrader.
He didn't see a movie till he went to college, I think.
His family was very religious,
and they wouldn't let him go to the movies.
Really?
Yeah.
Why are people good at things?
Right in front of me like that.
That is annoying that he,
well, I don't know.
He started so late and then was that awesome.
I don't know that Paul Schrader is rubbing it into your face.
I think he might be a little bit, not me directly but just the world at large.
Hey, I did some movies like five years ago. I did this.
And I'm making a face so hard. Richard Pryor called me a pussy.
What are you gonna do? Take that. I think he's definitely rubbing it.
That's a really abrasive Paul Schrader.
Hey, you know what? I'm making a movie called Auto Focus.
You shut him, yeah.
I'm all accounts, I'm sure there is a fairly abrasive picture.
I'm gonna fucking make a exorcist brick wall.
What?
What would you make?
It's gonna be taken away from me.
And reshot completely.
Fuck you.
Fuck you, Rene Arlin.
My movie got taken away from me.
I don't care
Movies are easy
It's like I pooped that out of the world. Oh, I sneeze. There's a movie whatever
But to go become Cody Jared from white shirt or whatnot
But to to briefly go back to the question I don't think that we would combat the makers of our those movies i think that
the movies would give us our power yeah we would game powers for movies and
feel really depressed that people fear to hate it as some probably like sulk and
sin our dark rooms
people may fear and hate as based on the numbers for this podcast
that's it we get at least a listener
no no it's fine
it's fine but i would like to recommend that people
tell people about the podcast and sign up on iTunes and write a review
The flop house podcast that blocks by back home anyway, you're pulsating
I heard your podcast what a garbage. I'm gonna make it first of all I never heard a podcast two weeks ago
I'm gonna shit a podcast I can do it my sleep. I just did it right now. I got a podcast right now
I'm gonna be face
My podcast all exploded in your ears
You've been straighter eyes This rage big it's all doing
He's a much calmer man
I just like you have imagined the phone straight away you're talking to me you got the shrewd
I gotta stop talking to an amazing hot break the idea get it right down. Oh my god
You're gonna cry you face up when you see this movie. I was like the American soul, but it's coming out of my butt crack
I wish there was a not big enough audience that I could do a team age you need to turtle sketch where they're have to fight the Schrader
They're building his pulse is Paul Schrader, but he's got a least new comedy show
In Paul Schrader, we write up their way to an audience of four people with my with my sketch
I told you about one's Dan where S Sinclair Lewis is grandpa, Lewis is dad.
And Sinclair Lewis is so mad.
He's like, listen, I'm a famous author.
Do you know how old it makes me feel
that my son is named Grandpa, Al Lewis?
That's what I like about it.
I wrote Elmer Gantry.
You're a vampire on television.
Yeah, he's mad about, he's more mad about like,
what it says about his age.
And less about like, he's like,
you are ruining the
family name.
But appearing on this monster based.
A lot of Elliott's community sketches require that an amazing science fiction device be
true, but that known that universe is concerned with the science fiction.
Well, they also require an amazing spectrum of references like both St. Clair Lewis and
Grandpa Al Lewis.
I want Samuel J. Tilden to be having a conversation with how a Dean stand
How we're Dean stand oh, I'm excited. I'm big no that would be great. We're going to Paris. We're going to Texas
Harry the dad
There's one last there's one last post script, or a post script script script.
I could do a TV show where Harry Dean stands,
travel through time, talking to people.
Hey, how you do?
No one would be thrown.
He blin, he's in every minute.
Everyone's voice is the same, and you're in the same.
I know you do, I'm Harry Dean's saying.
I'm an improbacter non-parallel.
I've gotten through 10 years of improb doing no characters.
I've loud, and I have not talked.
Stand on the back wall. There was a thing I saw at E.C.V.
went for his Ian Roberts showing he's like I'm gonna create a character just now.
Create a character. He's an IRA terrorist. Yeah. And then it was like okay well I asked
me any questions I'll answer them in character. Okay, uh, how what do you feel about
the British occupation of Ireland? Yeah. I hadn't really thought of it.
And like, every answer was, I don't know.
This is his character.
And he's created this whole character who has no opinions about anything.
Right.
You know, I'm just a great character.
Indecisive.
Lastly, though, I want to read this last post.
Oh, sure.
Because it's kind of wistful.
I can't stop you.
It's sort of wistful.
OK.
I just started watching Silver Strieg on that Netflix on on demand thing. It's good. Thanks for the tip
Will MedBady ever have a happy ending?
Well, I guess I mean guess the network. It's implied that he continues his reign as a clue to crap
I think probably this point in his career. No
I mean, I what is he what's he done last? The last thing I remember he was playing, he was in...
The last thing I remember was him in switching channels.
That's quite a long time ago.
He's a great actor who unfortunately is...
Got raped early on film and that was it for him.
There's like, I can only be a bumbling sidekick in a Superman movie now.
Yeah, the whole world saw you be somebody's bitch, and that is it.
Backwoods people have a masculated my career.
I got Typecast as the rape guy.
Yeah.
All right, man, we've talked a while, so let's.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, it's good.
It's all gold.
Oh, good.
It's always like, let's get in and out people.
We gotta go home.
Oh, wait, we've been talking for 40 hours.
We think in the internet, videos have to be like two seconds
long, but podcasts are allowed to be like now and a half.
Yeah, they go on.
Double standard.
They extend towards the horizon.
They tend to be.
Quickly to prove that we're not miserable jerks
who hate everything.
Let's do some recommendations of movies
that we've seen recently that we liked.
And in the interest of going fast, I will say
that recently I saw Ghost Town, a movie that was not embraced by audiences while I was in the entrance of going fast, I will say that recently I saw Ghost Town, a movie that
was not embraced by audiences while I was in the theater.
It has some problems, you know, the script is a little on the nose, but...
I'm in a ghost town.
There's a town where I go.
Nothing enough to be a city and everyone's dead.
They tried to sell it as like a wacky comedy.
And I think that's because Ricky Drophase was the main guy
and they're like, okay, we can't sell it as what it is,
which is a romantic comedy because no one can be like.
So he's lead-usly unattractive.
Well, people aren't gonna be like,
oh, that's the leading man I wanna see.
And here's what's wrong with movies today.
There used to be a time when your romantic lead
could be Gene Wilder or Elliot Gould,
like a normal-looking person, but now it has to be
like Josh Hartnett or George Clooney.
It can't be someone who is of average looks.
But I think movies go through phases.
Well, first of all, they're always more forgiving to men than women.
That's true.
There's never been a time when a only woman has been the romantic.
Except for Marty.
And the whole point of it was that these are two homely people.
Yeah.
But yeah, you're right.
And it's always been like a once in a century occurrence of like talent. It's only when, yeah, it's always a an
average guy with a very attractive woman. But it was a very similar movie.
Or like modern romance with the Albert Brooks movie, where it's like the
whole movie, like it's a really funny movie with the whole movie, like she's
way too pretty for Albert Brooks. Right. Yeah. Tip in real life, like the
millionaire famous Albert Brooks.
Yeah, well, that didn't get any woman he wants, you know.
That's like these guys sit down right,
and I'm the lead, and I obviously have women swimming
all over me because they have done so
since I had one ounce of fame in the city.
Yeah.
But, you know, three good performances,
Ricky Gervais, what's his face?
Grick Kineer.
Greg Kineer is good in it.
Taylor O'Neigh, who I think often is a little, I don't know, there's something like sharp
or cold about her, but she's very warm in this movie.
And it's one of those rare, romantic comedies where you're like, oh, I could see these people
falling in love.
I understand what they have in common other than the fact that the screenwriters throw
them together.
So, I recommend that.
And she puts her face right near like a ghost penis, right?
Or something does? There's that in it. I saw that in the commercial and I was like, I near like a ghost penis, right? Or something does.
There's that in it.
I saw that in the commercial and I was like, I'm not
I don't know if I'm gonna see this movie.
Yeah.
Because why, how can the other ghosts have clothes, but he doesn't?
Well, because people wear what they had on when they died.
That is a dumb rule.
Well, it's consistent though.
It's enforceable.
Yes.
Apparently they've got a car back.
That's a good car.
Well, well, well, well, take it short off, buddy.
You died in the shower. Yeah. You don't get to wear a pants. I'll, well, well, take it short of money. You died in the shower.
Yeah.
You don't get to wear pants.
I'll take any supernatural rules on it's held firmly throughout.
Okay.
I'll go to gray with it.
All right.
Well, then I'm outvoted.
Yeah.
Your vote is finished.
I haven't seen any movies recently.
I feel bad.
I mean, it should be recent, right?
It should be recent, but it can be anything.
I'm going to have to bend.
I saw Scanner Darkly on Netflix streaming, which is some years years ago like four years ago or something, but I really liked it
I expected it to be really boring and I thought it was really cool. I then would be kind of went
Quickly, I think relatively quickly. I thought it was like it wasn't great
But it was like smart like a lot of fun sequences. I guess like a lot of his movies link later
Is that he's a good
Good stretches of actors kind of being natural and real with each other and not a huge
heightening of story.
That's very linklater.
And you can finally fulfill your dream of seeing rotoscoped Winona writer's breasts.
Yeah.
What?
That's true.
How come I haven't seen this movie?
Yeah.
You have a real fetish for cartoon Winona writer.
Well cartoon breasts really. Yeah. And the rotosc fetish for cartoon when I was a writer. Well, cartoon breasts, really.
Yeah.
And the rotors go to get that rare that they are.
It's so rare that they are.
I think that animation style is cool.
I thought it worked for like a weird science fiction style
where you want some things to be weird
and some things to be natural.
Yeah.
I just want the audience to know
I don't really have a thing for cartoon boobs.
I do.
It's too late, dude.
Oh, okay.
People believe the first thing they hear, Elliot.
Ah, that's why Hitler got along so well for so long.
Yep.
No, don't listen to that guy, he's crazy.
Sorry, my mind's made up.
I'm gonna hit him already.
Yep, that's so nice.
There's the broadest accent I've ever done for a trip.
Not like my straighter.
Hey, you want exits?
You're an exit to crap.
I had heard an exit until I was 45.
I've never been out of the country. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh the country. Oh, oh, I'm French. I'm French. I am geez
Actors are easy
To yells his name his name at intervals. Yeah, it's like self-centered Tourette's well
That's weird. That's a tear. That's a mad TV TV sketch from like 10 years ago
It's all right trainer trainer trainer. Well, it doesn't really offend anybody
It's just kind of it's that's out of the ordinary
It's a little obscure for me. I don't know if we're good. They did tons of Schrader sketches
There are America's clearing house for Schrader sketches. Oh, oh, there's so many that needed clearing out
Yeah
Every college sketch. You've got their Schrader
They're super to sketch. There's on the sketch and the Schrader sketch. You can't just throw them out, Elliot. They've been written.
I guess so. I mean, they don't expire until...
What's your movie, Elliot? Name a movie you like.
We're gonna be here for longer than it took Kevin Costume to cast a vote.
I saw on Friday of last week, I saw a Coraline, which I enjoyed a lot.
That's the new movie with the voices of Dakota Fanning and Terry Hatcher and John Hodgeman
and some other people who I don't remember.
It looks beautiful, the trailer makes it look...
It's really, the animation is fantastic.
It's Henry Selik who directed Nightmare Before Christmas.
And I think James and the Johnny Feige.
Yeah, James and the Johnny Feige.
And it's just, he outdoes both of those movies in terms of the animation.
Really great.
And the figure acting is fantastic.
And the design is really cool.
And the voice acting strangely enough is really good.
Like usually they hire celebrities
and they're just like,
they can promote with their team.
They can promote with their team.
You're any Murphy, just any Murphy it up.
But John Hodgman actually acts in it
and gets across this character that doesn't sound too much,
like he doesn't real life.
Terry Hatcher and Dakota Fanny both do a good acting job
creating the characters that they're doing and
It was just like a real and it's one of those movies that like there's no pop culture references in it
There's no like song montages set to put like 80s hits or something like it's not a dream works film
It's not a great. It's not shrek basically. Yeah, it's let and like this is a movie that you can watch
10 years from now or you could have watched it 10 years ago and it would have been just as good as a watch it in your family if the movie
existence actually wrong yeah what you're saying is a is a temporal possibility
okay ten years from now and then another ten years on top of that by the way
it's frankenstein's monster
did why are you out of you will know what that is it's a callback
but it was it like it was it felt it was a really good story, like told,
like in a this solid way with beautiful animation,
and the only caveat that I would give for the M-Tore
is I saw it in 3D, and I would recommend not seeing in 3D.
I feel like the images are so beautiful on their own,
and there's so much going on in them,
and the lighting is so not conducive to 3D,
and that the images are composed,
they're not made for things to jump out at you.
That it really was distracting and not so.
And like your brain is working harder
to channel the 3D images
and it makes it harder to focus on what's going on.
Like whereas Bayowolf was much better in 3D
than it would have been out of it
because it's just this fucking guy shoving things
in your face and there's a monster
and then the camera zooms in.
But this, you know, is a movie, so it was a lot better.
We're rapidly approaching the limits of what GarageBand can handle in a single audio file.
So we should sign off.
Thanks for having me, guys.
Yeah, thanks for coming.
Thanks for coming.
I've been Dan McCoy.
I'm Will Hines, and I remain Elliot Kaylen.
Can I? Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do You want to have a specific intro that you want. I'm microbelling. And I'm baneling at the same time. You do whatever you want.
This has got to be perfect.
I don't care.
Right.
We cannot screw up.
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
Let's just play it Lucy Goosey.
Stay on point.
And three, two.