The Flop House - The Flop House_ Episode #41 - 12 Rounds

Episode Date: July 20, 2009

Dan was out of town this weekend, so he didn't have time to write full show notes for this episode, but he did have time to post it, and HERE IT IS!

John Cena and Roney Harlan all hail the bad movie gods we watched 12 rounds That was great. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flapphouse. Hey what's going on? How you doing? Podcasts where we watch some bad movies chat? Yeah, I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stewart Walenton. I'm Elliott Kalen. Don't you know? Elliot Uh, it's kind of an accents there. That was my normal accent. Oh, no, no, no, no. I just put don't you know at the end of it You weren't here for the last episode. No, it was yeah, I wasn't here for the one before. Yeah. There's a little bit of a break in between I've it all runs together I've stopped drinking I think I'm gonna stop stop've stopped carrying. You've been drinking, I think. I'm going to stop carrying along. You've been drinking and eating too much. What were you watch last time? Friday the 13th. Oh, right.

Yeah. That was great. We've only been doing, um, movies with numbers in it. And we're counting down backwards. It's 13 last week and 12 this week. Yeah, before that bride. You watch a movie with, yeah, you know, 12, 13 bride. It's counting. So what did we watch this week? A movie called 12 rounds. Okay, well, I imagine the list you have in the book. Seven pounds? No, it's 12 rounds. Sorry, never mind then. Seven pounds, the Batman villain who commits seven pound themed crimes. Yeah, this is a joke that has occurred entirely off-might for the F.O.P.S. It's an inside joke. Yeah, so now they feel like the people listening feel like they're inside on it, right?

Yeah, they think we're pals off camera instead of enemies, which we are. Or frenemies, maybe. Yeah. So a lot of people when I say, you know, I have to watch this fucking movie for this stupid podcast tonight and they're like oh what are you watching like all excited I'm like I don't know some called 12 rounds and they're like what's the fuck's that so I then have to explain it so I don't think I mean is it wasn't like a really well known movie. No it was it was written up on the onions website and that's the only other place I saw really. Yeah, that's the most notoriety it's gotten. I remember seeing ads for it when it was out and basically I was like, is that villain

Eric Bagozian? Oh no wait, it's Carcetti from the water. And that was basically my entire, you know, knowing about 12 rounds. Okay, that was so many movies now. Yeah, you think Eric Bagozians and so many movies. Yeah, and it turns out to be somebody else. Mm-hmm. I've had that with so many movies now. Yeah, and you think Eric Buggosian's in so many movies. Yeah, and it turns out to be somebody else. Mm-hmm. I think for me it was in the trailer, you know, they revealed that the hero is WWE star,

John Cena, who was the star of one of my favorite movies of all time. Of course I'm talking about the Marine. And then I found out that this movie is directed by Rennie Harlan and- Directly of the least profitable film in film history, right? Which one's that? Cutthroat Island, I think it was. Oh no kidding, I didn't know that. At one point it was. It might not be any more, but it cost them at the time, you know, like $180 million and it-

Well, you know, nothing. Elliot, if you want to get a Matthew Moody, you're going to be paying top dollar. That's for the Modine touch. Yeah. You know that when Pirates the Caribbean came out, running Harlem's like, ah, now they understand. Now they get pirates. Yeah, he was just, he was too ahead of his time.

Yeah. Similar when he came out with mind hunters, the movie about the FBI students who are being trained to hunt down serial killers, but one of them happens to be. The mind. Yeah. Oh, mind hunter. Mind hunter. Oh, my I'm hunter. Now we're like a mind hunter like they have a rogue mind. Or was it an adaptation of the popular Microsoft game, Hunter. They didn't adapt that into a movie. Yeah. So the movie free set. I thought it was Mind Hunter, the German film, means my hunter. Wow, that's

the right translation. Thanks for the help. The character's name was Hunter. Okay. so 12 rounds. What's the fucking deal there Dan? Well, WTFDD I'll WTFDDD. I'll sum it up. I'll sum it up quick style and then you guys can fill in the gaps Okay, probably missed off. Yeah, basically kept getting up to serve corn beef to us so yeah and cake and cake at one point I know how the host you were you were scrapbooking most of the time. I was doing some dacopage. You a lot of pulling out your rarest hamson. Oh 1943 Madagascar Butterfly. Look. His print if you notice. Like, Dan, we're trying to watch 12 grams. Flatly doesn't take care of itself. That's something you gotta keep up with. The plane is

upside down. Dan Thompson is stopping a trolley car with another car. Come on. No Tom Cena. Yeah, I think you're after watching 12 rounds, I deserve to call him that. So basically, John Cena. Well, that's right, John Cena. I don't know if Tom is for some reason.

Well, it can be Tom Cena. So Tom Cena. Famous weather man, Tom Saina. Famous weatherman, Tom Saina, is the most muscular detective in the universe. He starts out as just a regular cop, like a big cop, in New Orleans or Mollins. The big easy.

Yeah, where everything is easy. And big if you're John Sanna. So, you know, Irish, I guess, international arms dealer. Oh, was he? I thought, yeah, international arms dealer. Okay. Tommy Carcetti from the wire. Here his name is Miles Jackson, the classically Irish name Miles Jackson. You know, he's doing his normal super criminal stuff when he is thwarted by regular cop John Sainan. Who chases his car down on foot? Yeah, they're in like these like Warren's, these like the spirit of the town.

The rabbit down. Yeah, it was like watershed down. And somehow for some reason they keep turning down side streets and he keeps chasing him like he's jumping away and you wouldn't expect a guy on foot to be able to sneak around and get ahead of them but he does well then you don't know Tom Sanna yeah Elliott pointed out it was like a serious version of that scene from Raising Arizona where Nicholas Cage is running through the house and I'll Elliott pointed out it was like a serious version of that scene from raising Arizona

Where Nicholas Cage is running through the house and I'll skip it by the dog And at one point it's like the scene in in the evil dead. What he's running through a deserted house Mm-hmm or evil dead too. I guess but anyway, John's saying it thwarts Carcetti's evil plan, but in the process In the process Carcetti miles jaxons beloved girlfriend is hit by a truck and killed instantly. And so flash forward one year, this information is written on a billiard ball,

which is then knocked out of frame because Santa and his partner are playing billiards. Oh, I missed that. That's a pretty harland style. It's like superimposed on the ball. It's not really written on it, but then it's superimposed on it. No, that would be great. If just, Rini Harlan wrote it on a ball with a sharpie. One year later. Yeah, one year later, what's going on?

Is he a millionaire? Is he, is he some kind of a superhero? What's the deal? But I'm close. He's half man half-tiders. He's been promoted. He's been promoted from a gypsy. He's been promoted along with his partner, too, for the tech. He's always looking for ladies.

You can tell that Rene Harlan wanted to get his favorite actor, LL Cool J, to play that part, but LL was too busy being loved by the ladies, so they got some of the... And he was vaguely resembled him a little bit. Just a splash. Yes, it's only in being black and white and ugly a little bit. Jesus. Right. A little bit.

What in that if you were a racist, which right to paint me as a racist through the medium of podcast? So they, the hisainas girlfriend gets kidnapped by Miles Jackson, who's just broken out of prison. Yeah. Apparently, in retribution for John Sainta killing his girlfriend. So John Sainas characters name by the way is Danny Fisher. They don't call him John Saina. It danie fisher they don't call him john sanah

it's like they don't call by his real name might as well call them john sanah uh... you would get that in the in old movies you'd have like uh... gene archery or rajas we plan with like there's a gene archery movie where he finds robots living underground but he's called i think he his name is gene archery in the movie so you have to assume like i guess this is what his life is like when he's not making movies fighting robots

but most Jackson keeps calling up john sanah you know eighty eight minutes style to uh... to uh... to badger him except he doesn't have a catchphrase eighty minutes killer at least had to talk doc well but his catchphrase is sort of the whole boxing metaphor that he sets up. There's 12 rounds. The first round apparently is him blowing up John San is house, the second round is him

kidnapping his girlfriend. And then the rest of the rounds are him manipulating John San's character and going around doing a bunch of stuff. Sort of like diehard 3 basically. He also blow up a plumber in the first round. Yes, the plumber has come by to fix his sink. A collateral damage. John Sanna couldn't.

Plumber's aren't real. We're told in an exposition that John Sanna could have fixed the sink himself by replacing some piece of some part that was broken. Yeah, a flange sprocket. This flange sprocket was broken. He didn't get a diddle-wide to fix it. The plumber had to come and fix it. John Santa goes outside of his house because his car blows up and then the house blows up.

It's briefly noted that the plumber was in there and then they kind of forget about it. Yeah, I'm not going to go into all of the 12 rounds now because we can go into more detail later. We'll just skip to the end where inevitably it is discovered that the 12 rounds are again diehard three style a distraction from the real plot, which involves, I don't know, like diamonds are some good. We're stealing $100 million in currency that was pulled from circulation, that is being held at the Bureau of Engraving in New Orleans. Okay.

that is being held at the Bureau of Engraving in New Orleans. Okay. And this twisted path leads us to an all out no holds barred grudge match in a helicopter. Because the girlfriend is a Metavac helicopter, rests, I don't know. Helicopterics. Yeah. And so.

It's a transformer, right? I hope so. The better be. It turns from a helicopter into a into a sexy lady into a dinosaur Into an archaeopteryx. Yeah, yeah, so who will triumph in this helicopter battle? Will it be the villain or the hero? It would be well as as Stewart pointed out I think it would be the tiny villain With very thin arms will it be John Cena who as you pointed out Dan is a gallop Yeah, fucking monster Will it be John Cena who as you pointed out to Andy's a golem?

Fucking monster. He is basically the only thing you're buying Heath Ledger with a mountain and that's the only thing that that compares to him are the scenes in John Rambo when Sylvester Stallone is just kind of like running through swamps and looks more animal than man Like some kind of a mud man. Like some kind of knee-and-earth always escaped into our time. You have to assume that at some point a gorilla was shaved, somehow taught to speak English, and is now roaming the earth as a cop in New Orleans. So which was your favorite of the 12 rounds? I made it way to turn it on us, didn't I? Man, that's gonna be tough.

I liked all of them. It's a cut out as well. No. Hey, guys, I liked when they were on the bus on the snipers, we're just going to indiscriminately shoot into the bus and kill it. What happened on the bus? Why were they on a bus?

They're on a bus because the bad guy wanted to talk to the good guy he's got he's trapped a bomb to molly's chest and if his thumb is off of a trigger for more than ten seconds the bomb goes off in two ways first it drives us a nail into her heart and then second so that and then second it sets off a bomb that blows up the whole bus so john san will die with innocence but he'll live to see Molly die first, right before his eye. Yeah, okay, well you just explained

what my question was gonna be. Why, why couldn't just be a one-stage bomb? I assume it's so that he could see his girlfriend die the same way that Mick Johnson did. Yeah. Mark, the joke. Mark Joseph. Bro Bissoth.

So they're on this bus and they're talking about some shit that I wasn't really paying attention to. I was asking whether I saw last night's house. Yep. And there's a lot, I know he never said, but I assumed he would, we're not so different you and I. Two sides of the same coin, seven pounds. And so there was at a moment, like, okay,

so they're having their chat, you know, they're talking about similarities, differences. Politi. Maybe I think they talk about as a girlfriend a little bit, I don't remember. And but the FB8's fan, you know, I have to assume so, yeah. The FBI has a shitload of snipers positioned on an overpass. And they're like, yeah, we don't have a clear shot. And the good FBI agents are like oh, no, you can't do that. You're going to need one shot to take out the glass, and then the other one is going to take out the killer or what?

Yeah, because they've got that reinforced bus glass. Yeah. And they're firing BBs. They're using play-doh bullets. So for a clean take-down, too. So they, and they're like, clearly, we don't have a shot. But then then of course the kind of the asshole if the i want to take a shot take the shot and then of

course john san is forced to save the bad guy by being shot by a sniper rival bullet which slows him down for a couple minutes for a second and then it's business as usual i believe he even with a uh... bullet wound in his right shoulder manges to land a pretty devastating right hook on the on the evil the the

the yeah what was the deal with like okay there's a there's a couple of problems problems of plausibility in twelve rounds I would say it starts with moment one uh... but what are the problems is the FBI instead of being like all right we're not going to play this uh... but what are the problems is the fby instead of being like alright we're not going to play this uh... this evil geniuses game is like

okay uh... this cop has been drawn into this didle game of cat and mouse we should offer all the support we can yeah he will he operate with unlimited authority and the city of new Orleans the the movie almost would have been better if he wasn't, instead of a cop, was like the crooked political boss of New Orleans and had to prove himself. So when he, like, commandeers a fire truck

or does whatever the hell he wants, and be like, oh, that's boss, you know, that's boss, uh, Sina. He can do whatever he wants in this thing. I'm thinking of what he said in my- I'm thinking of what's gonna get out of my mind. I'm gonna get out of his mind, but I couldn't think of one.

What? And you're mine, what time period is this film said fucking rule on ruj man anytime like like boss red bone or boss red exactly crawfish Daniels but also these FBI agents who are offering unlimited support there's one they're both bald uh... so that's the white ball guy the black ball guy and the black ball guy and the black ball guy has a little toy matchbox car and he has a nervous tic where he's constantly flipping open the hood and then closing it back down again

with his thumb and it is possibly the dumbest character moment a character like a little bit of business that i've seen in a movie but uh... they make the one uh... bald guy the black ball guy into a cranky uh... jerk who has no reason does not care about victims does not care about people he is dedicated to catching uh... miles jansson but uh... the arms dealer yeah

mills jordan but they but he doesn't seem to care how it happens doesn't care who dies in the process he has no it's in later on in the movie he says i realized this is about the people he hurt the people he could hurt and it's like you wait why were you trying to catch him if you didn't care if you that he's like the screenwriters of this movie i assume that they're multiple screenwriters this movie to make it to make it open it's like Shakespeare you need people rewriting writing the photo the

folio is over and over again i assume that they had seen a bunch of action movies, so they were familiar with the archetypal characters that you encounter in action film, but they came in 30 minutes late in every case and didn't see the justification for those characters' personalities. So they had the FBI agent who was just obstructionist and a dick, it didn't care about people,

but they didn't give any reason yeah and uh... just kinda disappears from the movie for a big chunk of it during my favorite round mhm when uh... john sanah is tricked into dialing a phone number which sets off a bomb destroying the breaks of a truck of a cable car

oh yeah it's good around they've got to stop it because it's gonna run right into it children's car which is a reason in the middle of the street at the end of the trolley car track and john sanas brilliant plan is to race over to the trolley cars fast as he can the people that are all the same down no idea what's going on that they're even in danger

and specifically the conductor doesn't seem to really do anything you just kind of occasionally with the brain like looks around like she'll tell somebody not in the he gets a little panic is like oh wait a minute this trolley appears to be going much faster than a trolley usually that's not an exaggeration of his his the amount of his panic uh this is faster than I usually go on this route well I'm going to stop at these. Well, life is a highway. I'll just go with it. Just ride it all night long.

But so their plan is to stop their car. Oh no, they they back the car up in front of the trolley and they try to use their brakes to stop the trolley. Yeah. Say no shoots out. Say no shoots out the windshield. You've got four wheel brakes on that thing thing i have to say and they have to probably have like twenty-wheel breaks they he shoots out the windshield climbs onto his car jumps in through the windshield of the trolley car and then he says his plan

pulls the break on the trolley car which doesn't work so he gets on top of the trolley car tries to destroy the power line can't seem to do it so they drive over to he gets his car out from in front of the trolley car tries to destroy the power line can't seem to do it so they drive over to he gets his car out from in front of the car back into his own car times that is our failed says to the to the ball to the white uh... balled if you agent that didn't work

they all there's the power transformer over there why don't we just ram the car into the into the big generator unit so they do that's that's you know powering the the specific troll that's powering the specific trolley car. Yeah, just the one trolley car. So they do, which does nothing. It knocks out power and then the trolley car still like hits the carnival.

I don't want to pass over this too quickly because there's no lamp on it. The most amazing thing in this whole sequence. Pass over, get it, lamp'sbs blood. Yeah, it's good. Regutor of people. The most amazing thing in this whole sequence and I'll even mention it but I think it bears repeating. John Saina, you know, goes to the trouble of climbing from his car into a runaway trolley

car just to try and hit the brakes himself. He's like, okay, the conductor is clearly, clearly not adequately applying the brakes. a runaway trolley car just to try and hit the breaks himself is like okay the conductors quilquil cannot adequately applying the breaks i'm gonna get into the trolley car hit the breaks many like well that didn't work i'm from i'm fresh out of i think it's a lot of i don't see no saying i'm out of ideas on this one but like i like to think that a couple of seconds of him being like

hey fb i guy who I'm riding around in, riding this car with, you know? Which is riding around to the FBI guy. I wish that when I got to the trouble, John's saying a leaped out of the FBI guy's mouth at the trolley car. So he's riding around in this car with this guy. If he just simply said, okay, I got a plan.

We're gonna try and slow down the trolley car with the brakes of our car. And I'm gonna climb in there and try and pull the brake And the guy could have been like no you're a fucking idiot Clearly they would have already used the brakes. Well, you know, it means a professional. He's a trolley car driver Yeah, the thing it reminded me more of anything was the beginning of Was the beginning of Ghostbusters when he's like Gitter that was your whole plan Ray G. Gitter. Like it was basically that.

But there was played for laughs, whereas here was played for it. This guy's a fucking badass. Yeah. He's gonna have to try some- America's greatest hero. What happens when America's greatest hero goes up against Tommy Carcetti? America's greatest mayor. What's the worst? Explosions. That's what happens. It ends in an explosion. I'm not going to lie. Okay, so there's a bunch of rounds. There's some shit happens at the end. There's some really awesome CGI. Yeah. As we see, Tommy Carcetti realized that he's being engulfed in flame at the end. So his eyes bug out for a second.

Like a text A-gartoon. Yeah, I think that's a pretty accurate description. Well, a little bit of exaggeration, but... The film is your average dumb action film for most of us running so on. But Dumber. And then it has a totally crazy ending where John Sainte is zapped with... Defebrily a bad guy. De... you know defibrillator pat patles and does

the craziest face in the world one step away from him going i i i i i i and then and then his eyes going tilt and you know and then his big plan to escape the helicopter is to jump with his girlfriend into a rooftop pool which which luckily happens to be there. We'll give them that. But they drop one.

They drop the zaniest way possible. It looks like they're like, it looks like the beginning of like, say, a bond-bredded sequence where like, silhouettes are like dropping from the sky. Good women. No, like, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, possibly new women, but possibly a bond.

If it's a bond opening title sequence. There's many new women. It's just new women dropping out of women dropping out of the sky the level of special effects is basically the same Oh, yeah, and that like something is super imposed over something else Well, they jump roughly what 300 feet 200 feet out of a helicopter into a pool, but it looks like they should be going I Is they fall and then at the end? They're walking there's money falling all around them because somehow he got the money on the helicopter that he stole from the Bureau of Engraving. I missed that part.

Uh, and he they are walking by and they pass by some people who are honeymooning there or whatever. And he says, we better get you, I better get you home. And he goes, about the house. And then he hear, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. As we wide shot of the roof, pull back, rock and roll music, credits, and it's just like, about the house, the plumber was murdered in a house. We should make a donation in his name somewhere. About the house, we don't have one and a man died.

Oh, and we didn't talk about Willie, the overweight hotel security worker who dies in an elevator. He thought it was overweight. I mean, I thought I looked okay. He seemed to lay roughly 350 pounds, if not one. What I mean for his height. He was about what, five, seven? Come on.

I'm just saying, I think you're being a little rough to the accent. OK, this stout actor. OK, what about it? What happened? Just they went to a lot of trouble to call him Willie and name him, like people called his name constantly in his very brief moments on camera.

Well, Willie, everyone loves Willie, Ellie. Yeah, that was the guy who was in the elevator car that was a guy who uh... was in the elevator car that was gonna fall yes was gonna like fall in sixty seconds or something they said now you guys were pointing out that uh... the whole you know like good guy team very credulously enters this elevator

that they know for a fact the bad guys had access to well. Well, he really says, Willie has been seen on camera leading the villain somewhere and he goes, oh, he told me he was the elevator repairman that he was just coming by to do the repairs. And then they're like, well, let's get in the elevator and find out where he went to. It's like, well, I saw him, I left him entering this elevator. I'll see you later.

He was carrying his bomb bag to the elevator. He was asking me something about how much I wait yeah they're not I would die if I fell hit two pairs of pliers and he was like which one of these pliers do you think we better for cutting an elevator cord I said definitely that one mm-hmm I have a bit of an elevator expert so I can help him out on that issue and a cord cutting expert so yeah a billacle elevator I don't care expert. So yeah, I'll build a call elevator I don't care if it's a chord. I'll cut it. He's trapped on a he's trapped on this elevator That's about about to fall within seconds and he like is making very little effort to actually get out of this elevator

Really? Well, this is they get to the top of the elevator Tom saying it Johnson Tom saying it Johnson is hanging from a window frame and he's saying will he give me your hand and will he's literally lying on his side going I can't do it. I can't do it. So lazy That's right man. Well, you can't get a good life. Yeah, just getting to the roof is clearly not enough He he Johnson literally pulls this man up completely onto the roof He can't willy can't do it and And Willy gets on the roof and collapses and goes, oh, I didn't think I could do it. You didn't do it.

Yeah, I'm saying I did it for you. And you didn't even do it because you didn't make it all the way. Like that's like running part of the way and then just standing there while the speeding car runs you over. And the only reason John Sannick could do it is because he has the strength of, you know,

holy scrolls being placed inside his clay body. Yeah, because he's a mud man. he has the strength of you know holy scrolls being placed inside his clay body because he's a mud man. This movie as we sort of alluded to before. It makes me want to see a movie where John Cena just defends the Jews of Prague. Like in the Marine. Yeah, is that what he does in the Marines? Okay.

In the Marine they built him to save the the Jewish ghetto against Robert Patrick who slowly morphing into Martin Sheen Wow Oh, I was gonna say about this movie. I was gonna say that this movie I think we sort of alluded to it before but it's kind of like dumb if aliens came and they saw some action movies And they just sort of merged them to get i mean like it's got a you know it's got a bit of diehard three it's got a bit of uh... speed in the sense of that there's like you know it's beating bus and uh... his his partner dies very jefft annual style and speed

like tracking down another thing but also it's like the fby agents as we stated before are very indulgent in a way that they would only be if they're like, we've seen action movies before. Clearly, this is what's going on. But there are also things like, his partner gets caught in an ambush and right before he dies,

he tells the sidekick, the henchman of the villain who is also about to die, like, he just goes bitch. And then explodes. And later on, they're getting at Molly and Sainar getting out of the helicopter and leaving Carcetti behind, and Molly goes, land it yourself, bitch. And then he was like, that seems so gratuitous

to have two people call a villain bitch. But also coincidence, maybe not. I don't know New Orleans culture. Maybe, yeah, maybe that's just a common thing. Yeah, but for a movie that's goodbye. If you really want to shine somebody on, you're like, bitch, I've been killed them. Before a movie that's so concerned with action movie,

like tropes, they give John Cena the most boring end of the movie thing. Like, what is it? What is it? It's just like, you lose. Yeah, he says, fuck you at one point. And then later he he says you lose. Yeah, yeah, he wasn't even like knockout You know TKO you're ready to take on the champ Any more box

Sweet science Squared circle the canvas throw in the towel. Yeah, that's pretty good cut my eye Mickey. Yeah, cuz most of the after we got Boxing wrap up Roblox joke by those after we got shocked by those paddles He basically just punched the bad guy a bunch of times and then the bad guy just sat there. Yeah, he just laid down He was punching him really hard and this is a tiny guy. He's hitting Clearly a professional. This was not a movie.

That man would be dead. This is much is, his neck would snap. He'd be disfigured at the very least. He's hitting, it's like the sandman is hitting him. With a giant battering arm hand. Or a ham. Or a ham battering arm hand. That would be the least tasty ham.

It tastes like sand. sands yeah wait is it like a battering rammer day turn his hand to a giant anvil it could be it too oh well I couldn't he have been metamorphosed that's what I wonder yeah so uh so the ending satisfying Dan what do you think the ending of 12 rounds oh well here's here's something I want to mention is that he is a world he's a WWE star the movie is produced by the WWE. Yep. Why do they keep using boxing metaphors? Why are they not using wrestling metaphors? 12 rounds could easily be a wrestling match, right? I guess they don't do it in rounds. They just, they hit each other with chairs and stuff.

That's how it works. And they staple gun five dollar bills to their far. And sometimes they have hard attempts when they jump off a top turn. Oh. Sometimes. It's sad. Anyway, you said. And where is the Tomai?

And where is the Tomai? I was ready to change the line. Where is the Tomai? Yeah, Tomai. Have you learned nothing? Is that a joke? Is that a joke? It's not a joke.

It's a joke. It's a joke. I don't know. Wow It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke.

It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke.

It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. Yeah, the real, the real, uh, as like, Sago. Yeah, Sago. The Peter Sago action. A Steve, a Steven Sago.

The thing about it is that like you really want an awesome ending, like an ending that totally sums up the entire experience, whether it's the human experience, the movie experience, who knows? That's what I felt when I was just thinking the other day actually out of nowhere of the ending to like Casino Royale, which felt like such a perfect ending to me. Because you see him, the villain drives up to his house and then he shoots him in the leg and then he says, you know, Bon James Bonnet

and you get the music for the first time. Like that kind of ending, where like it's real quick and there's a hit and then the music comes up and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what the fuck? You got me, actually. You got me, baby. Like it should end when you're mid, like that. Or like in the end of Universal Stolder, where

Jean-Claude Van Damme runs, runs Dolph Longer and through the threshing machine and bloody chunks coming shooting out. Like that kind of an ending. And I think it happens in the rain. Or saying that's the A-plus action movie. Or like the entertainment cash, where they high five, and then that's the picture on the newspaper that says, the the the the

the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the America people recognize their faces you're forgetting there's a newspaper earlier in the movie that shows Ray tango and says tango Get some and then it shows a picture below the fold of cash and it says like cash get some I love that movie so much You have to be so it's obvious from you the contents of your refrigerator You haven't been watching your figure probably been keeping your eyes too close on the evidence to use to set us up Oh, I love that movie, but you tango You think there's a deleted scene where like tango and cash like when they picked up and we use paper photographer And they're like we're gonna storm jackfowl to the compound tonight. We want you to be there. Oh, this is after the this isn't pictures I'm taking during the maybe it is taken right after this right after yeah

They know it's up or what they don't get into they don't get into how they clear their name yeah they blow up all the evidence yeah it's the legal weapon to school without there yeah where you're like oh these damn bowers with all their money laundering these africaners yeah let's just blow the shit up all the money the central problem of the whole movie has been that they have they have the community and immunity and they have just like Let's shoot them and blow up all the brunt Is that the way he says revoked? Yeah, yeah. I have diplomatic immunity

The other thing is diplomatic immunity doesn't extend to major crimes That's what movement is going to get Oh, have you, I'll have you see exhibit A, lethal weapon too Like you can get away with not getting parking tickets I'll have you see exhibit a lethal weapon too. Like you can get away with not getting parking tickets, but if you murder people or steal things, then you will be brought up on charges. But if you have guys running around with oozees

through the street of LA. There's a in the second Spider-Man Superman team up, Dr. Doom is the villain, and he's at the Let Variant Embassy in America. And he's been trying to kill Superman for for a long time and superman shows up not to go as uh... don't i have don't you follow the rules of this of your native of your adopted country

i have diplomatic immunity and walks away and superman's like to have his got me like there's really no reason that superman has to follow these rules this like in just like in the weapon weapon they get around though. Mm-hmm But to get back to the end of 12 rounds sure are we talking about 12 rounds? I don't even remember what the actual end was because we watched the two alternate in which so Tremendous the ultimate names literally had one line different in each one But wasn't like the original ending just them being like like there's this couple You know like a hot tub on the roof on the roof and they're like what happened is

like uh... fell out of helicopter and i walk out and he's like how do you just jumped out of a helicopter it was helicopter blew up no big deal yeah and he says it's like he says moby dick it didn't sound exact he said something like uh something like hold his girlfriend close and be like next time I'm driving you to work.

He does say that yeah. Yeah, because I just said that. No, he does say that. He does say that because she gets kidnapped when taking the ferry to work. Yeah. And then there's the line about about the house. Yeah. About the dead plumber.

About the house. There's a charred corpse in it. The two alternate endings, one was there was a- There's a security guard on the roof. And he goes, what happened? There's money fluttering and he goes, what happened? And the guy says, I jumped out of a helicopter, no big deal.

He goes, what about where did all this money come from? And he goes, like, congratulations, kid, you just won the lotto. Yeah, because that money's not going to be critterly responsible for a civil service. But that guy runs the town, he could do what he wants. And the other alternate ending was the same hot tub couple. They go, what happened?

And he goes, oh, he jumped out of a helicopter. No big deal. And the guy goes, of the hot tub, he goes, we just got engaged. And John Santa goes, would have advice and turns to Molly, keep her close. Oh no, don't let her go. Or something like that. Don't let go over.

About the house. So, so, Oh, so the hot tub couple was like, yeah, enough about your boring, fun, a helicopter story. By the way, we just got engaged. I feel like, you jumped out of a helicopter, great.

Congratulations, and it's in order. We got engaged. You jumped out of a helicopter, great. Congratulations, and it's in order. We got engaged. Hello. I was speaking to someone who got engaged about nine days ago. Thank you. Sorry, ladies. I'm taken for now.

No, forever. But that is a pretty not classy way to prop the question in a hot tub. I hate to say. Wait, so you didn't pop the question? Well, look, it's really romantic. You were, a hot tub. I hate to say. I don't know. Wait, so you didn't, you didn't pop the question. Well, look, it's really romantic. You were, you were, you're on a roof. I was not wearing a ticket. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, from the sky? That is, that auger as well for your romance, your life together.

Maybe they got, well, yeah, the Chinese would say, oh, that's a good luck sign for your future. The treasure bath. Yeah. The history of the world, part one would say that that's good luck. But the, maybe they got engaged earlier in the day, in which case, that's pretty, come on. You give it a rest for a couple hours. Not everyone needs to know that you got engaged.

Yeah, but I mean, if usually if you get engaged, your first choice is to go to a rooftop hot tub and then just party, right? Again, we didn't do that. You didn't do that. You guys go crazy. You guys went to separate bedrooms and watch TV We bundled we each we were each wrapped in blankets so tight we couldn't get out Then we shared the bed together to see what that was like, but still remain chased sure of course very common in our religion That's that's what happens when you get engaged at colonial Williamsburg

So that would have been such a good idea. I should have done that. Like, we walk into the blacksmith's shop and he's banging something on the anvil and it's like, oh, what's that you got there? Oh, something for a lucky bride. Danielle and then he ends it too. And she turns and I'm on my knee. And I go like, pretty, Jan Maiden. And then she marries the blacksmith. That's the thing.

It's the one flaw in my plan. Yeah. Sounds like somebody on Broadway. Did the Mary's Brahmbones. No. Damn, I'm scared. You think about scaring me away in his headless horseman costume. I think we should render our final judgments on this movie,

because we've been talking for a little while. Final judgments? Yeah, final judgments. Where are the categories, Daniel? They are, not Daniel. I'm talking to you. Daniel Son. Yeah, this is not my fiance, Daniel.

This is Dan McCoy, host of the Flot House. Famous host of the Flot House. Host of the Flot House. Famous host of the Flot House. Infamous host of the Flot House. Let's compromise. OK. The caters are, is this a good bad movie?

A bad, bad movie a bad bad movie or movie that you actually sort of liked So Stuart I'm gonna go to you. I'm gonna go good bad movie It did totally feel like somebody had just watched a bunch of other action movies and they're like we can do this This is easy and then they decided to pick a like a WWE star to be in the lead. And then they didn't pick the ring. Yeah, just wrote it. The Undertaker couldn't do this far. Like, what's the problem? Yeah, Macho Manor Andy Savage is a little long in the tooth. Hollywood Hulk Hogan was not available.

Um, so I guess expect me to be Hulk Hogan now. It's not Hollywood Hogan anymore. Oh, yeah, I think you just goes by Terry now. Terry Hogan. So I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, you know, I think it's a good bad movie. It's not, I didn't actually like it that much, but it was fun to watch. I'm gonna go, I feel like it's somewhere between a good bad movie and move I actually sort of enjoyed because it's a dumb action movie. It's really dumb. It is dumb as a brick, but stupid as a bag of hammers. But it's dumb largely in an entertaining way and it is bad want i don't want you to misunderstand me it's a bad movie

but it's not bad in like a way where i'm like this is hilariously inept it's just bad in that it is again dumb rock stupid so but but i enjoyed it and i think i think it has a good intersection of uh being trashy and uh... not having a brain in a Ted. So I'm going to go somewhere in between good bad and a movie that I actually enjoyed. I'm going to go with you on that day.

I did enjoy the fact that it never stopped moving pretty much, except for a few moments when John Cena would literally stand there and look at things. And he just grins. And grimmest flashes, right? There's lots of flashes and slow motion as he just stared at people who couldn't possibly be involved in any of those- Yeah, and he would remember flashbacks of his girlfriend

and it would just be shots of his girlfriend holding their dog. It wouldn't be like them doing something together and being like, oh, I remember when we did that together. I love her so much. And she's like, oh, that's my girlfriend. My favorite thing was when he found pictures of his girlfriend tied up in the hotel room, and then he had flashes of what it probably looked like

to have her lying there all tied up. Yeah, he just imagined it. He couldn't remember everything. There's no way he could remember that because he wasn't there. Yeah, he's not like a spear walker or something. If only. Yeah. But yeah, it was like with the movie,

for the most part, never stopped moving, and it was so it was it like with the movie for the most part never stopped moving and it was so it was endearingly stupid for the most part. Like it did not ask you to believe that John Sano was very bright, just that he could think his way through very simple puzzles that didn't really make sense. A lot of the times he was in these cat and mouse games where the rules were stacked and they didn't follow any logic and they didn't even try to make them into like Puzzles really it was more like get to this place on time and then fucking do stuff. I don't care whatever man Just do shit and Everyone like played their parts to the tilt. They were all yelling at each other all the time

Yeah, and you know just stupid fun stuff, but so stupid. Just stupid. But yeah, I can't say rock, stupid. I have a lot of affection for any kind of an action movie where your master criminal, the entire movie, the hero is repeatedly put in situations where you're like, oh no, if he fucks this up just a little bit, he's going to get exploded. And then at the end you find out that like every little nuance of this entire story the like the master criminal has planned out and then at the very end he's like you know what I'm gonna

stake my entire getaway plan on this hostage to fly me away like at this point she has nothing to lose we're in a helicopter I can't threaten her with a fucking gun because she can just say oh you shoot me now Well fucking crashing your dead. Yeah, I can't believe actually we didn't even address this is that yes the whole thing turned out to be Miles Johnson or whatever like Jack Travis Mark trail Jack Markson Jack Johnson his his scheme like as we said was like really just a distraction for his like money making scheme And so John's thousands of tiny ads in newspapers all across the country

John Saint-Olyflot on This whole time so all the times where like he put John Sainte in Physical danger early in the film, don't make any sense because like if John Sain didn't turn out to be this super cop, he would have died. And also the plan would have been foiled by his death. And also this master criminal apparently, like even though he just escaped from prison, had time to run around town and set up all these elaborate- This is like sniping.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. And what's great about, well, and what I would have liked to have seen is this moment of realization in our hero's face. You know what? You were not going to see any emotions in the hero's face.

You were going to see Gritid's either or dumbstruck idiot. I would have liked to see this moment of realization, worry, worry's like, you know what? This guy, he's a criminal But he had this all planned out like at no point was I genuinely in any real danger or my or my girlfriend and then he you know instead of beating the guy to death or whatever he took in the dinner Yeah, like you know while he put it put him in cuffs or something and then took him to jail

Yeah, and I'll respect instead of you know just killing the criminal and scattering all the evidence of his Again like he's killed him and all this money was being taken out of circulation anyway So it's not like it was going anywhere it needed to go but like this yeah all the money He stole was just fluttering down to the streets of New Orleans the helicopter is exploded and it's not like it was vaporized There's big fucking chunks of helicopter falling on the streets of New Orleans. The helicopter is exploded and it's not like it was vaporized. There's big fucking chunks of helicopter falling on the streets of New Orleans and he's like, oh, it's all over, baby. Like, I love you, at least his partner is dead. I hope you at least have to fill out some paperwork. There was a shot of like a gurney falling out of the helicopter and I wanted an insert of like that gurney hitting someone on the on the street below. Like,

oh my god, the horror horror the destruction cost by John San is wrecked no less than 40 cars in the course of the film and motorcycles That once you hit that point. You don't have to do paperwork anymore. Yeah, they fire you Yeah, it's police procedure Anytime it's police procedure if you're an detective and a master criminal is trying to capture your girlfriend, you do not have to contact anybody. That's the other thing. This whole thing is caused because a year ago, when he first stopped and caught Mick jargdon, he

like, instead of calling for backup, it's the famous Swedish master criminal. Marjolglin. Instead of calling for backup and telling them, I think I found this guy, he just starts shooting at the car and then running after it on foot. And he says it won't point like to his partner. He's like, if I'd call for backup, maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe that girl wouldn't have died. Maybe that girl wouldn't have died.

He's like, yeah, you're exactly right. Most likely she wouldn't have died. John Sanders, not two for two for dumb action movies. This is a Marine Yeah, I mean that's pretty good though like that's that's a pretty good record. Yeah That's Steven Segal. I don't know if you could say the same thing Steven squagal mmm. This is square bagel so So

We don't have any mail this week. Who's fault is that Dan? Yeah. The listeners. Better check the mail. I'll accept that answer. It's kind of like you're gonna accuse me for a second. We could have written some of my letters.

It's my mom's fault. Not sending us any emails. Wait a minute. So all those letters about what a sexy voice you have. I know. I'm gonna take this time to do a little house cleaning, a little business. If you want to write us, you can do that

at the Flop House Podcast at gmail.com. You do want to write us. What's that email address again? The Flop House Podcast, all one word, at gmail.com. The Flop House Podcast, all one word, at gmail.com. No, don't spell podcast all one word at gmail dot com no no don't spell out all one word that's not part of the spell differently in the email address and also you can go to us on the web at the flop house podcast dot blog spot dot com and you know there's other stuff on the uh... website we

want one of the one a wheel what we want a wheel de-write. We want a wheel de for most unwieldy URL and email address. Covided wheel de. So yeah, we want we want what emails we want email pictures, pictures, videos, cakes with finals baked in them. Yeah, in case we want to escape from Dan's apartment. Do we and we should start a contest at some point I think. Oh yes, Ellie we should start a contest at some point, I think. Oh, yes. Ellie, you wanted to restart the flop with the floppers. Yeah, because the winner of the flop with the floppers contest moved out of town.

I didn't get to collect her prize a night with Stuart Wellington. And the rest of us watching a movie. But so if, you know, we should restart that contest. Well, the contest was always sort of vague. So maybe we should. It was pretty much just do something with that was Flop House. Do something that we think is cool

that's Flop House related. We'll try help to help get our list. Yeah, press the word. And press the word out there. And press the word out there. Send us evidence of you doing this. Yeah. And maybe you can win a,

you expenses paid, trip to watch a movie with us. We'll provide some of the expenses. I will provide the Popeye's brand, Fried Chicken. I'll buy some beer. I'll probably be wearing a small swim suit. As he is right now. As he is now.

He's wearing a tiny swimsuit. Yet this is the second podcast we have recorded where Stewart has taken his pants off for a real alarmingly small swim suit. Not just a reveal to remain in and watch the entire movie and and then do the entire podcast recording in but i mean don't don't get me wrong guys i am wearing socks and shoes have to say

all right so there's that um Elliot there's something very time of Finland about it. Yeah. By the time that this podcast goes out, they will not be able to see the devil in Daniel Webster. No. That will pass because that's on this Wednesday the 15th. But you will be doing more in 92 why screenings starting in September.

Starting in September. I'm going to have, in September, we'll be showing Love Me Tonight, which is a great movie. It's one of the silliest movies in the world. 30s musical that's really silly, but a lot of fun. And in October, we're supposed to be showing the old Dark House.

I think we have the print order for that, which is a very crazy old movie. It's the movie James Whale made between Frank and Stein and Brian and Stein. And it is about a bunch of nuts living in an old dark house and they are spooky that sounds good and uh... there will be one more uh... mister white pants sketch show

uh... after this podcast goes out uh... on july twenty fourth i believe that's a Friday Friday the twenty fourth at the mag theater uh... and i'll put a link up on the site. A flop house fan came out to the last show and said hi. So- Flop house fans are very friendly. I was a guest on a Compa Club at the pit and there was a flop house fan.

I believe this is the same gentleman. It might be. He's a very nice guy. That's awesome. So- I want this is the same gentleman. It might be, he's a very nice guy. That's awesome. So I want to plug something. Yeah. OK, I have, wait, no, I'm not plugging like a weird question this time, or the fact that you bought blue jeans, or my new blue jeans.

What I want to plug is one of a long time flop house fan, a movie aficion, and a rock and roller, a friend of mine, Alexander Smith, Alexander Delicious Smith. He's been working on a record, and you should go check it out on MySpace. If you like music, check it out. His little band's called Lydia Borrell, L-Y-D-I-A, Borrell is B-U-R-R-E-L-L. Check it out. Awesome stuff. He's a very funny gentleman as well. He wrote, if you look up, I believe his website, his sound is delicious. He wrote a very funny review of the movie Wanted, which I enjoyed a lot.

Yeah, the review. At least something good came out of the movie wanted. All right, so now that we've done our round of plugs, I think it was a good plug. I think those were some good plug. To less boring things, which should be, I think, recommending some movies. Which make a man miserable bastard. We're going to get out of here. Sure, okay. I'll go first. I'm going to recommend a movie directed by Rennie Harland called Harland Harland like Harland Wilson

yeah Harland Ellison Harland Ellison yeah it's a little movie directed by Rennie Harland again it's called it's called Mind Hunters I'd probably recommend it in the podcast the thing that's great about this movie is Well, this is a this is a movie that was you know, it was advertised and then it was pushed back and it was advertised and pushed back and eventually it had a Directive video release. It's about a group of FBI like trainees who are being trained to hunt down serial killers. So they have to get into the mind of a killer. And they get put on this weird island, and it, surprise, surprise, one of their number, turns out to be a serial killer.

And this has Val Kilmer. Val Kilmer is great in it. Christian Slater. Is the old cool James? Isn't the, yes, the aforementioned ladies love cool James. Is it? Absolutely. Johnny Lee Miller wow you see

Pong it or McCoy I think he's both of them this way that's what he plays in every movie apparently so yeah it's uh you can make a you can make a movie about punk highway highway man if you want to see a bad movie that is totally fun and it's about serial killer hunting students, it's awesome. Good movie. Okay. And at one point, Chris and Slater gets his body frozen and dies. And then he gets shattered.

Spoiler alert. Yeah, it's okay. I'm going to recommend the movie. I actually picked this up on DVD cheap recently. The movie Something Wild. It's Jonathan Demi movie along with stop making sense. Probably my favorite Jonathan Demi two movies. You know like before he made science to the lambs. He made these like great oddball comedies and He made these great oddball comedies and that movie, you know, it's one of the really good gear shift, like shift in tone movies, it starts out as sort of a revolution. Yeah, I mean, it starts out as sort of like a screwball comedy and then it gets really

sort of like a tense thriller as like a tense thriller as soon as raleo shows up and uh... spoiler alert yeah it's a beauty you know so beautifully shot movie it's uh... got a lot of great music in it and one point they go to like this uh... reunion and the philies are the band that's uh... playing the reunion live and uh... just just really just really fun that's why i recommend

i'm gonna recommend not a movie but a book about what the and low outside of the box like sarah palin uh... you may sound crazy but it's just because i know it's not a you know that uh... i recently read the book the devil's candy uh... by july salamon i believe name is, and it's a book about this but like, this is saltwater taffy, is that the best part? It is not, but that is the Devil's Candy, it tastes terrible.

I guess Candy Corn would be the Devil's Candy then. Devil's Candy is a book about the making of the film version of Bonfire of the Vanities, famously not a very good movie, huge flop when it came out, and it is a really good, very thorough look at the making of this film in which a ton of very talented people working as hard as they can. You're talking about Melanie Griffith. Just Melanie Griffith, but like, but a lot of it, like it's a ton of very talented people working as hard as they can made a really shitty film that it's not the worst movie in the world, but it's pretty bad. And she talks about so many things on a movie set that you don't usually read about.

She talks about the experience that Bruce Willis' body double, who stands in for him during lighting tests, what he goes through, things like that, what all the location guys were going through, literally every facet of making a movie that big, at the time it cost, you know, about $40 some odd million, which was huge, it was like 1990, and it's just really good. And you know, in the back of your mind that this movie is gonna be shit.

So every time they're like, it's a lot of work, but it's all gonna be up on film, this is gonna be a great movie. And you're like, oh, you poor deluded people, this is terrible. And you see them every step, you poor deluded people. This is terrible. And you see them every step of the way, working as hard as they can and making the kind of compromises

that will not help the film at all, but we'll hurt it. And it's a really good book. By the way, I don't know why I singled out and made a fun of Melanie Griffith singing. I just recommended something while. One of the movies that made her. Yeah.

Go stars, Melanie Griffith. I'm sorry, Melanie Griffith. You've done good work. Yeah, diehard flop house listener, Melanie Griffith. I'm sorry Melanie Griffith. You've done good work. Yeah. Flop House, diehard Flop House listener Melanie Griffith is not going to be happy. You're going to get an angry letter from Antonio Mandarist or as well as a scientist. Well, it's not so much testosterone. That's what we call. As well as a signed copy of his direct royal debut, Crazy in Alabama, starring his wife Melanie Griffith. He's going to come by. He's going to beat me up and yet I'm going to be, I'm as well as a signed copy of his direct-friol debut, Crazy in Alabama, starring his wife, Mel and he griffed it.

He's gonna come by, he's gonna beat me up, and yet I'm gonna be, I'm gonna feel strangely grateful for him too. Yep, because he's such a man. A man whose greatest success lately has been voicing a cartoon cat. All right, so guys, flop house, eh? It's a podcast that we do.

The, the love is, it's, You've done how many of these 40 now? I still can't find any way to gracefully end them. Nope, impossible. So we're done, right? Yeah, okay. Say your name. I'm Stuart Wallington. I'm Dan McCoy.

I will always be Elliot Kalen. Good night, everyone. Bye. Take your... Put your pants back on. Oh, fuck that. Ha ha ha! The manual in space.

Because you're actually talking... The manual versus the vampires. The manual in Rio. That's a terrible movie of manual versus the vampires. Not sexy even at all. I have never even seen it. Oh, well, or do they think it's a manualvers is Dracula's what's going on?

I kind of want to see vampire girlvers Frankenstein girl, but I don't know that one. It's a Japanese movie. I should have known. It's by the guy who made Robo Kisha.