The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #53 - Hannah Montana: The Movie
Episode Date: January 23, 20100:00 - 0:34 - Introductions and Theme0:35 - 3:00 - We welcome Elliott back and, for some reason, Stuart wastes time quizzing him and Dan about current events.3:01 - 37:24 - We discuss Hannah Montana: ...The Movie, because surely the audience for that picture was white males in their late twenties to early thirties.37:25 - 40:27 - Final Judgments40:28 - 53:49- Our longest letters segment yet, resulting in one of our patented vague Flop House contests.53:50 - 56:49 - A very short sad bastards recommend.56:50 - 58:14 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
In this episode we discuss Hannah Montana the movie, the terrifying Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Welleyden.
And I'm Elliot Kaylen, back, better than ever, that's me, alright, here we go.
Wait, where were you?
I was not here during the last show.
Oh, right.
Yeah, remember your British friend,
our British friends.
I guess we are friends now.
He's been in my apartment, we've shared a beer,
yeah, we've shared Dragon Ball Evolution.
He probably went to, he used your restroom.
That's what bonds people together. Yeah, I mean, you wouldn't let a stranger just go in there.
You put them in there?
How's the stranger dressed?
Strangely.
I don't know, maybe in like a UPS uniform.
No, not that guy.
Okay, fuck that guy.
Wow.
So, a little bit of current events, guys, I know,
we make a lot of jokes here, but I'm sure people also come to us for, you know, some opinions, some important opinions.
They don't.
The, uh, the whole late night scandal.
We think, uh, I think we're pretty laid on.
We come to this.
Yeah.
By the time this episode airs, uh, Conan will be off the air and everything will be done.
Everything's sort of shaking down as, uh, as someone who's out of touch would say.
You know, I mean, I mean, I will say that, uh, obviously, I mean, I was hoping you guys were sort of shakin' down as uh... as someone who's out of touch would say you know i have been
i mean i will say that uh...
uh... no i was i mean i was hoping you guys were gonna explain it to me
uh... well we can talk about it for the show
well people need something to fill their lives and so they've latched on to
uh... and intercom intra company argument between two hosts of different
television shows
uh... tiger woods's the other way?
I mean, the only way this Conan thing will affect us
is maybe if Conan, for some reason,
comes back to New York, we can get.
And asks to be on the flop house.
Well, now, as we can say, we can get writer Andre Dubu-Shay,
the one person I know who's involved in that show,
come on the flop house, maybe.
Oh, I know, a couple of people were there.
Good guys. I don't know anyone involved in show business. No, I mean, but you're a games go. We know alley. Oh, yeah, who?
Allie can here
immediate right how you doing? Oh with that little the programming works for oh, yeah, that's on TV
Yeah, the any program that I work for
I want an Emmy for so we're not gonna talk about Tiger Woods
There are any other current events going to talk about Tiger Woods.
There are any other occurrence we should talk about?
These are the least current events.
So that's a 2000 April election, guys.
What about the way that shook out in the end?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stuart still mad at the Florida voters for 2000.
Yeah, what was the deal there?
Massive electoral problem.
Uh-oh.
If somebody's iPhones going crazy. Yeah, blowing up all over the place.
You know how else is blowing up? Wet Miley Cyrus. Oh my God. I'm so hot. What happened to her?
What happened? She blew up. Well, I knew she had enemies. She was visiting Northern Ireland.
And uh, uh, she turned evidence on the uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Well, well time will tell. So I was a wish one of this is right. Time is told. Time is telling right now.
Speaking of time. I think it's time to some time this evening.
Talking about movies. Oh, yeah, and we had some dinner, right? And this is the segway that's gonna stick. That was a good segway.
So we watched the Hanuman Tan movie. Now I think that was the kind of segway we really needed. Yeah. Yeah. Now I think that was the kind of segue we really needed. Now we
all none of us knew that much about Hannah Montana. I think that you and I
for some reason knew slightly more than Stewart in that we knew that there was
the basic premise. Yeah there was this bifurcated life. I think that was in the
pitch that my least iris is leading.'s originally they was went to Disney and they said
We've got this idea for a show this girl leads a bifurcated life
It's on the poster. It's called my it's called my bifurcated life and it starts Claire Danes
They're like like Claire Danes likes both girls and boys sounds awesome. It's now it stars Claire Danes and Claire Danes in a double role
And that's a remake of Multiplicity.
Are we talking about a slight,
are we talking about like a slightly healthier,
slightly beefier Claire Danes
or like a really skinny, scary looking Claire Danes?
I don't know.
I think both.
I don't know what you meant by beefier.
You're like, oh more meat on her, but I asked you
don't know why I was spending so much time talking
about Claire Danes.
Because we don't ever want to talk about Hannah Montana.
At all. No. So we talking about Hannah Montana. No, for yourself.
So we knew that Hannah Montana's story was that there's Miley Cyrus, and she leaves a
double life as pop star Hannah Montana.
It's basically like Spider-Man, except instead of being a nerdy high school student who's
also a superhero secretly, she's a kind of goofy high school student, or I guess middle school, I don't even know, who's also a superhero secretly. She's a kind of goofy high school student or I guess middle school, I don't even know who's also a huge pop star secretly.
Yeah, so in this movie, the only people who know that Hanne Montana, that Hanne Montana
and Millie Cirrus are the same person are her father, her best friend, and her manager
slash keeper out of trouble.
Speaking of Hanne Montana, I just want they're Chelsea
I just want to mention that Stuart and I were at the bar the other night with our friend Kurt who pronounced it
Honomontana and he asked who honomontana was these days apparently he thought it was a manudo situation
Or they just kept cycling in new Hannah Montana. No, there's only one Hanuman tan. And my name is Miley Cyrus.
Yeah.
I think he was assuming she was Germanic of some kind.
Yeah.
Hanuman, ton of the Tutonic, you know, pop star.
Yeah, pop sensation.
But so yeah, her friend knows, her manager knows,
and Billy Ray Cyrus, her dad knows.
Her friend Lillie, her manager of Vanessa Williams, and her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus. Her knows her friend Lily her manager Vanessa Williams and her dad Billy Ray
Yes, her friend Lily played by Emily Osment who I'm still convinced was just a Haley Joel Osment and a girl's wig
I have to call shenanigans because that was not Billy Ray Cyrus
Everyone kept calling him Robbie Ray his character's name is Robbie Ray Cyrus, so he played a character in this movie
Yes, okay, that makes a lot
more sense. This is like Earth 2, but the only difference is that instead of Billy Ray
Cyrus, there's Robbie Ray Cyrus. Yeah, it's Earth Robbie Ray. So his song was like,
don't put my heart back together because it doesn't hurt. It was, it was my sticky wiki
heart. Oh, good. Sticky wiki. Don't touch my heart, my sticky wiki heart. Your
hand's gonna get stuck to my heart.
It sounds actually pretty good. I don't know about the better song.
I don't know about the meter of that, like the poetry of that is kind of...
He's not as good as a songwriter as Billy Ray Cyrus.
But dancing, don't get me stower.
Better, yeah.
Yeah, on having a pointy uh sold patch better best of
the he's also one quarter inch taller which you wouldn't notice because Billy
Ray Cyrus knowing this wears shoes with quarter inch lifts
what an elaborate scheme to compete with this fictional alternative universe
yeah Palo world world's very competitive with each other. So anyway, Robbie Ray is very distressed at these daughters, the way she's behaving.
She's become a real pop diva.
Yeah, and she's losing sight of her friends and her family, and what it means to be a modest
humble godfaring straight red state
American. And so to fix this, he knows that what she needs is a good old injection
of country. Country living, right? Yeah. Rural type.
We're small town. Like Bob Evans. Yeah. We're good people live. Yeah.
Any town USA. And he he he he goes back in time with two with her to the 80s
To back when every movie had an evil real estate developer as this film has a kind of played to a tea by Barry Bostwick and by tea
You mean temporarily because he disappears from the film after a certain point
The over-scheduled Barry Vastoy.
This happens with every pseudo villain
his character the film has to offer
because there's also a British tabloid reporter intent
on exposing the double life or exposing the secret
that Hannah Montana has.
He doesn't know what it is.
He just knows she has a secret.
But I mean, he disappears for the whole like last third
of the movie until the very end as well.
Well, he does get completed
That's true. He yet. Well, there are a couple different storylines going on here
There's Hannah Montana has to learn to be humble
Hannah Montana is Fally and love for the first time with it with a boy in her hometown
There looks looks like a young Mormon Billy Ray Cyrus is falling in love with what's your name from the office.
Jan Levinson-Goold.
Jan Levinson-Goold.
Michael Scotch-Crazy-Boss-Lash-Girlfriend.
Sure.
Former girlfriend, former boss.
More attractive when she's crazy.
Yes.
And they're always those guys, you know what I mean?
Not really.
That's not.
Late.
And fellows.
And fellows. And since fellows. Eh, fellows.
And since back in Leipzig, uh.
And also that the town has some open land
that an evil real estate developer wants to build a mall on.
Which would be terrible.
Which would be terrible.
And the town can't afford the taxes on the land.
It's kind of unclear who owns this land.
What was the land called again?
It was called Crowley Meadows.
OK, for a second, I thought it was called Craven Meadows.
That was all I could think of.
It was the town.
The town was called Crowley Corners, because I
soon was founded by Alistair Crowley as a free,
live, free love cult of Selema.
And why that gate posts and above it carved in,
do it that will, to shall be the whole of the law, which
of course is the first rule of Selema. Well, you lost me there for a minute I was thinking about all the uh... I was just giving
a tiny mini lecture on the wickedest man in the world. I was thinking about how great it would be
if that town had an Annie's pretzel and... See wish it was more like Penn station. Like a banana
republic. An orange Julius. That's the one., you can get one of those orange Julius things.
It's weird that they're so anti-mall because in real life so many of those towns now are
just open stretches of road with houses and strip malls dotted around them.
It's a vet, you know, they're fighting against having a mall right in the center of town
when really urban sprawl is the problem that we have to deal with these days.
It is strange that these people don't understand.
Why don't they just deal with it through zoning?
Well that's the thing.
You could make zoning rules that you can't build a structure that big.
Maybe you can't build a multi-business platform building like that.
Yeah, it seems like no one in Crowley corner really wants this.
It happens to sure, including the mayor.
So surely they could pass something through.
Or just to clear, just, well the mayor is, we don't know for sure, he could be in favor of it,
but he could, they could just call it eminent domain.
But the mayor posted a dinner from Hannah Montana.
The mayor obviously just wanted attention and to associate himself with someone popular
for the votes.
He's corrupt, he's going to get thrown out of office.
But think of all the time stuff.
So it's taking a year. someone popular for the votes. He's corrupt. He's going to get thrown out of office. But think of all the time stuff. The mayor also is wearing a medal around his neck of the type
that Dracula would wear. Yeah, he earned it by being a Dracula. We were
calculating for the twist in the movie where it turns out the town is full of vampires.
But or the other. So it could be like a Milan paradigm shift where yeah, like there'd be like the room would start spinning when she realizes
That there would be a sermon push out on her face and then the crypt keeper
Miley
But by the way an African American mayor in a town almost
Entirely lacking in other African Americans
It's the most tolerant small southern town
that I've ever seen.
Oh yeah, it's a very tolerant town and very musical.
But I was gonna say the other,
we, I was kind of hoping the whole time
that the plot of the movie would be that
Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus would start to war
with each other.
Two personalities in one body, one trying
to destroy and conquer the other.
Something kind of persona-y in a way, about the merging
and ambiguity of personality, how easy it is to lose sight of themselves.
Oh, like that movie identity where everybody's fighting inside John Qsaxe brain.
Yeah, that's a shitty version of it, yeah, but it didn't happen like that.
Well, like that identity.
The movie where everything takes place in John Qsaxe brain, but when you find out which
personality is the killer, they still go back and show you the scenes of that person sneaking away and killing the
other identities as if there is a physical reality in his brain what a dumb
movie by the way spoiler alert spoiler alert on a and what an eight or nine year
old movie that nobody liked it can so anyway, you were saying about Hannah Hannah the Montana
I I don't know she she goes to this small town
She learns lessons about love is there any other self Well, we know there's we know there's a crisis about this on this land
But oh
Any barrel
Really but uh... oh they know the talent of the Indian barrel no that's not really
you're reading subtext in the film again that's not
basically everything in America is built on an Indian burial ground we killed a lot of Indians
yeah you have to assume that Crowley corner is probably
it's odd i made the exact same joke and something
one of the shows
the are similar
man why don't you two get a room why don't you stop making out with each other how do wants you to get a room. Why don't you stop making an album?
How do you want to get a room?
Yeah, sure.
Where are we going?
I don't know.
Vegas.
Yeah, I think sharing rooms is a good idea.
It would save us money and loneliness.
The Luxor, I recommend the Luxor.
Looks like a giant pyramid.
It's pretty cool.
Yeah, the elevator's travel kind of sideways.
It's pretty awesome.
So then it would be an elevator, it would be a little bit.
No, it's, no, it's, I'll explain.
I'll draw you a diagram.
Okay, because it's not moving up or, I'm moving up.
No, I'll explain, it'll make more sense when I draw it.
Okay.
So what's going on with Miley Cyrus and this,
this fella of hers?
Well, because there's, I mean,
they immediately fall in love with everything
tattered. It's hard for them to tell each other how they feel, especially when she's got this double
life that she's keeping secret. Also, they've got to finish painting that bird barn. And they did know
each other when she's chicken coop, Billet. It's a chicken coop, but it looks like they keep calling it a barn.
They don't call it a coop, which I thought Was it paying the tangent? They did know each other
when Miley was, but a wee last. Yes, he called her smiley
Miley at the time. Yeah, which he reminds her of. And that
that was what I like. It was a realistically awkward moment,
in which he says something that weirds her out a little bit.
And she's like that, that. Oh, I was a subtle reference to Leanne rhymes.
Yeah, I was speaking of Leanne rhymes Taylor Swift shows up in the middle of this movie.
She has a cameo, yeah. And any wine house.
No, again, you're adding things that would have made the movie more interesting.
And what's your name? Tyra Banks.
Tyra Banks. Tyra Banks? Tyra Banks? No. Tyra Banks?
Tyra Banks doesn't.
Tyra Banks doesn't.
Tyra Banks doesn't.
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I sounded like I was in I was in some sort of game show. It's a common phrase when you would use every day
Do you just do a flashback to something we just heard?
God dammit. You didn't hear that
So
So everything gets resolved really neatly right away
right how does it all know there's a
complications it's complications for reels for reels okay what happens
uh... everything gets complicated it's the kind it's the kind of thing you can
see where the movie is going the entire time at some point
people are gonna uh... the boyfriend is gonna learn her secret and be unhappy
that she kept a secret from him and they're gonna break up and come back together at some point.
Because that teenage boys care a lot about like things like that shit.
Yes.
Most of the time they're just aggressive if the girl's pretty or not.
Well the thing is.
They're really angry about a secret double life that existed before they had any sort of involvement.
Let's say I'm a 15 year old guy.
I meet a girl I really like a lot a new one we were younger now we're back
together again
i find out that secretly she is the most famous singer in america and super
rich
i'm a break up and fear it's not terrible
i would absolutely not
tried to do something sexual with her to tell people
i wouldn't know what i think
to break it all
no i would never do that
well it's i mean
to do dissect the whole
hanuman tanna uh... premise for a little bit
i mean there's a lot that just doesn't make sense i mean
as i said we don't know anything about the the the show we are
uh... hanuman tanna scholars theyage of birth certificate. But yeah,
yeah, but there's several there's several problems. I mean, as you point it out,
you killed a girl of Hannah Montana's age and took her identity. That's the name, Hannah Montana.
Yeah. As you pointed out Stewart, Miley Cyrus's dad is always hanging around Hannah Montana.
How was that explained to Bodyguard? Boom. Just came off the tongue.
At the beginning of the film, Hannah Montana can't get into her own concert.
Apparently she did not think of giving herself a backstage pass.
It opens with her, she's about to do a concert and she's late.
Her and her friend try to get in by showing up at the box office and talking to the woman
running the box office.
And why she doesn't call her dad on the phone and say,
hey, can you let us in the back?
Or...
Right, your phone died.
It did die?
Is it the explanation?
I'm sure.
Okay.
Well, then why...
Well, then why she doesn't have a pass?
Why...
She doesn't show up as Hannah Montana
so that she can just get...
Why she didn't introduce herself to security guard
and say, hey, uh...
Well, she's got to keep her secret from here keep her secret well but okay right that was a long
time for it's a leverage shell game hmm did they show
this movie duplicity to Hannah Montana there's no well but beyond that they
ride on the success of you publicity of the hit blockbuster film duplicity again
I'm sure they assume that anyone who bothered to watch the Hannah Montana
movie is familiar with the show and does doesn't need an explanation.
And they're already on board.
But I would appreciate that it being a movie that would reset it to the degree of explaining why on Earth she has to lead this double life in the first place.
You, a man in his early 30s would appreciate if the Hannah Montana movie was a little bit more like a girl.
Well, say I'm a, say I'm a, say I'm a say I'm a let an 11 year old girl
I know it's hard to imagine that Elliot but do it sounds good
Not as hard as you would think I'm an 11 year old girl and I'm going to my first sleep over and I've never seen the
Hannah Montana TV show you've never seen the Hannah Montana show you got a oh my god so good well
It's great because we've got the hanamontana movie what the fuck
what's going on I'm a really I'm a very sweary eleven year old girl yeah what
the fuck what's happening why is this girl leading a double life rather than
just enjoying the fruits of her pop start-up I don't want to be friends with you
anymore well see see hanamontana is a root relationship
ruining children's lives well get it Fast forward to the end of the movie.
Hannah Montana is doing a benefit concert
to save Crowley Meadows.
Why doesn't she just, I mean, she's a super pop star.
Why doesn't she just pay for it?
That's a good question.
Well, you know, it should give you a tax write off and everything.
I don't know.
In order to, she can't live this double life anymore.
She can't lie to her family anymore. So she unmasks, which in this case
means on wigging. And in front of the whole crowd that's there. Oh my god. Like
wigging out. No, no, no, taking her wig off. And her vest for some reason. Well,
the vest was too Hannah. All right. That's not something that I would wear. Well,
when you've been living a double life so for so long, you really split off.
I guess so.
Like there are certain signifiers that you just got a shed.
And that's really one of the things that's most impressive about Miley Cyrus' performance.
She just changed.
She's really too completely different.
Oh yeah, this is like Andy Circus, Gallum and me.
This is Dead Ringers.
This is Jeremy Irons and dead ringers
yeah you always know which
which 20s playing yeah you always know which one she's playing
Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana and it doesn't have to do with the fact that they have
different color hair
mm-hmm it's to the fact they're just completely different people
yeah two truly different characters like Hannah Montana is like a kind of crazy
kind of goofy pop star
and Miley Cyrus is like a kind of crazy kind of goofy pop star and Miley Cyrus is like a kind of crazy kind of goofy every day teen. But she likes the
confidence that Hannah Montana. Exactly. Because she's not a world famous pop
star. Because she's wearing a mask because Hannah Montana by mask. I mean,
wig because her face looks exactly the same. Yeah. But anyway, she unwigs at
the concert and says, I can't live a lie anymore. And now- I mean, the cooler she wore a mask though,
that wouldn't be much cooler pop even.
It would be great. Yeah.
Yeah, like a weird like-
Well, that's more like Lady Gaga there.
That's, that's, that's not the reality.
The Attracality.
Sounds like Lady Mask.
Yeah.
Well, okay, keep going.
I'm not on there, I'm just a good girl.
So she does that and she says,
well, now I can't be Hannah Montana more in a little girl who has faith
in Hannah Montana says that they will keep her
secret for her and the whole crowd agrees except for
the British paparazzi who takes a picture of her
putting the leaves back on.
It was reappeared out of nowhere after having gotten
eaten hot chili and fallen, slipped on walnuts and
prattles.
In the first 30 minutes, there's a lot of slapstick
prep for this movie to the point where like you expect characters to be
paralyzed and also ferrets running up people's legs into their pants yeah
animal tennis brother has a ferret which causes so many shenanigans
I like ferrets and beasts master sure well or that the movie of Boy and his fair it is.
That doesn't mean it's by Harlan Ellison.
You know, logically that doesn't mean that any film with
fair it's enjoyable.
Wrong.
Every movie.
Oh, okay.
Thanks for explaining that to me, man.
That makes a lot more sense now.
See, I'm more of a Beastmaster too, through the portals of time, guys.
Then anyway, that's me.
The, where were, oh yes. So, anyway, that's me. The where were.
Oh, yes.
So anyway, the proper odds.
So it takes a picture.
Everyone chases him.
They convince him to not give it away to the tab like magazine
because his daughters are big fans of Hannah Montana.
Hannah Montana goes out and does her show.
He puts his job to.
And he puts his job to.
So yeah, Hannah Montana, it doesn't even bother
to give him a job.
There's like a princess dead.
She knew that he was going be out of this on his butt
how how is he going to pay to fly his two daughters back to England
uh... yes they're living here now I mean I guess they're gonna have to how's he
gonna pay for their like room and board and stuff because I mean just
quit his job yeah yeah well he was kind of an apt at it in the first place
so he probably didn't have that much money no he didn't get it again this is a
problem that I have with the whole Hannah Montana basic premise like I
understand why the popper hot so wants to to know this like how this would be
a big like scoop for him like oh this pop star is actually has the secret
identity and I am breaking the story however and she's all they'll never
guess my secret identity.
Like that. She's singing about it. Yeah. But, uh,
Gerio Connell shows up. Although most of her songs do feature a lot of illusions to the
fact that she's two people. I was thinking she sings a lot of songs about how great it
is to be a regular girl who's also a pop star. See, I think that people would put two
and two together. Maybe they think it's like a Billy Joel Bruce Princeton like song story, like.
Well like Bruce Willis and that Bruno personality, you know.
Yeah, but I'm saying that.
I understand why it's important to the journalist.
I mean, we all saw how big that Chris Gaines' story
was when it broke that he was actually Garth Brooks.
But I don't understand why
Vanessa Williams is like your whole career will be ruined wait a minute.
The secret comes out. Chris Gaines is Garth Brooks. Oh shatter so many illusions.
Wait, you mean Chris Gaines who only recorded one album and his songs were usually performed
by Garth Brooks in his stage shows. The same guy. Yep. Next thing you're going to tell me is that Richard Bachman's like, what, like Dean Koons
here is somebody?
Close, very close.
Keep looking at the clues Stuart.
That's some day, little time frame.
Okay, I guess I'll go back to Wikipedia.
Stuart is sitting at home cutting pages out of Richard Bachman.
Now, I was piecing them together trying to get the police.
It has to be in here somewhere.
Everyone encodes their true identity and their work.
All these illusions to castle rock.
That's why I learned that Beatrix Potter also
wrote the story of a hoe.
So anyway, yeah, why would it be such a big deal to her fans that she has
a secret identity i have no idea i don't know
there's some things that i just can't explain why she really see for the
important thing is in the end everything works out
she needs a secret identity so she could have the best of both worlds as
explained in her first song
and opening number the best of both worlds.
I guess you're right.
Yeah, it does work out because she sings her benefit
concert for bringing it back to the music.
That's what's, that's what,
there are a lot of songs in this movie
and they're all very generic and blank.
Yeah, that's what it's all about.
And she has one, her big song that she sings with her pop
about butterflies and flying away
that sounds a lot like that. Landslide by the way. That lays slide to come in down song. Yeah, but
the fleet would have the fleet would have the fleet would have. She sees her reflection in a snow-covered
hill. That's that was cocaine. Really? Spoiler alert. I didn't realize. Metaphoral or I guess I never really cared enough to find out. So any
who? It's kind of like a white winged dove you know. Yeah yeah she looks like
she's about 17. That's all you care about Stewart. No no that's that song. The
white winged dove. It's have a team book yeah okay we would make well
not it was it was just a Stevie Nick solos on I think no it is yeah I'll check it out
what Wikipedia that and then the coverage of Bachman don't really
would so you want me to Wikipedia with you woman but there's a lot of songs and
they're not very good Stevie Ray Vaughn. Yeah. Okay. Anything else.
Yeah, what else is going on in this movie? It's very, it was like, this is a,
a very mainstream, nothing movie that, yeah, it didn't have the craziness that the
Bret's movie would occasionally have. Yeah, I was, I was a little nervous going in
because this is a movie where one person has, you know, has to live in two worlds
and make and she plays two roles. It's close to home. Well in part yes it was going
to make me very nervous because I didn't want you guys to find out. I'm not going to keep
talking about this because I might give up more than. No no it's okay we won't you.
But there was I was worried there was going to be a that there wouldn't be a sequence where she has to be both people at the exact same time.
Like if she is.
She has two dinners that are both set at the same time.
Right.
Two dinners.
They have to noon dinners.
They can possibly move for any reason.
Absolutely not.
Well, one was a big lobster dinner with the mayor and her family.
With the count mayor.
Count Mayor.
Mayor Dracula.
And the other was at a local restaurant across the street from the mayor and her family. With the Count Mayor. Count Mayor Dracula. And the other was at a local restaurant
across the street from the mayor's office with her bow.
Yeah.
Now, how that, I mean, that's crazy.
She's going to have to like both go to both dinners
and at the same time dodge all of her crazy fans.
She's going to somehow have to run across that street.
And change wigs.
Perhaps in a supply closet.
It's kind of weird. She's got like her own personal makeup artist best friend.
It's not like she needs that much work. I mean, it's pretty simple.
Like she just puts on a wig and puts on some makeup.
Apparently shorter skirt.
Yeah, well apparently the makeup is actually fantastic.
And we're just not getting it even through the medium of Blu-ray.
Oh, she's. No one can tell Hannah Montana and my desire to the same person.
She's painting LSD so potent that it just goes into the portion of the people.
It's like she's got like Rick Baker doing her effects.
Yeah.
Wouldn't Hannah Montana be tripping then?
No, her skin has been laminated.
Oh, okay.
I thought it made me that maybe she was forced.
Built up an immunity over the years.
That, but it's not Iocane powder, Dan.
I thought that maybe, you know, her early concerts were like,
you know, seven hour jam, but because she was so high,
but then later on she just, you know,
that the, in offensive pop came in later when she got
used to the drugs.
The psychedelia got taken out.
Yeah.
I think after she turned 14.
I'll tell you one thing.
I kind of prefer that to be honest.
I mean, you know, it's a little more family friendly.
You like her later works?
Yeah, absolutely.
Wait, she had earlier works.
Well, I see.
So, the shit went on for several years.
So I guess so.
Is it not still on anymore?
I think this put a cap on the whole,
the animal tab thing.
I think it put a cap in her act.
And this is, you know, my list of iris does,
like the exclamation point on what was an amazing sentence.
This is the X-Files fight the future of the series, I guess.
Well, I mean, my list of iris is like performing
this real year itself now. Yes, I mean, my list I was like performing in the trailer itself now.
Yes, Billy Connelly's in it.
Well, that was X, what was the,
or I thought, fight the Vigia was the first one.
Yeah, what was the Vigia was the first one?
What's the second, what's the second,
trust no one or her later?
It was the tracks files, this movie shitty.
I don't know, right?
It's the way they would call it then the title.
Opinions.
Well, anyway, this anyway this the movie I mentioned
this way were watching the movie struck me as the kind of movie you would see in like
the mid 60s if there was like a pop sensation who had a hit record and some smaller low-budget
studio or maybe even Disney's live action arm which it was in this case. It decides to
build a movie around her with it like we her to sing a certain number of songs.
She's got to have some wacky scenes.
The characters are going to do pratfalls.
It's going to be inoffensive and we'll make it quickly, and it won't be very good.
And if you have trouble filling time, we'll throw in some additional characters who have
bits where, like, an animal might bite them on the ass or like there might be like a fart or a dog
do a bloodhound doing a double take or something.
That bloodhound, they kept cutting to it as if, or they cut to it a couple times as if it was going to do a double take
and it never did.
Yeah, I was fucking holding onto the edge of my seat here.
Yeah, and apparently did a single take.
I know.
You thought this was a Roger Moore James Bond movie, but then nothing.
Nothing at all. But there was a sequence where a young child or young man, I guess, gets attacked by an
alligator in a swamp.
And it's supposed to be, he's like a zookeeper, even though he's probably about 14 years old.
I think that's probably fair.
But he gets, an alligator bites him and the kids who are, he's touring around at the zoo,
are all laughing. And he's like around at the zoo are all laughing and he's like
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa but it's like no you are a serious danger yeah that is a man-eater it
will it will probably drown you first it'll take you underwater and drown you at the best case
scenario it rips a chunk of flesh out of your posterior and you get to a doctor in time that he can
stop bleeding yeah and possibly do some kind of a butt grab.
And you better hope it's not like,
if a commoto dragon bites you,
the bacteria in its mouth will kill you.
It's toxic there.
You better hope this alligator is not the same problem.
It's not like part commoto dragon, Elliot.
Oh, no, I know.
I'm just saying it's an issue that you might have to think about.
Yeah, I'm just like,
I'm just trying to talk about it.
You're trying to show off how much you know about commoto
for the first time.
Yes, I can finish off how much I know about commotoor. Yes, I just finished up how much I know about commotor drag
No, the one thing I know about them
Like a swamp I mean, you know what you don't know what's in that water you like a staff infection true
You know, speaking which he seemed to be the only staff member at that zoo. What's the deal?
Like that's how you segue into a dead end
Who staffs that zoo when they're not when they're not living down there when they're
living back in LA?
I think the zoo shuts down and the animals roam free across Tennessee.
Okay, that makes sense.
In the great field that will someday become a mole.
Hopefully we can only hope.
So they win the day the mole is it built?
My least I was seeing three songs and then drives off and a truck through the crowd.
She gets to kiss her boyfriend.
Does she?
I don't even know that.
Yeah, they kiss behind the...
No, okay.
You know, and relatively short, I mean, they left a fair amount of space between them.
I mean, like this is, I know that I don't get me wrong.
I don't want to hold Miley's
I really allowed one kiss. It's a chased move. Whoa, whoa, you like you're in another room
You ran back in you ran back in to immediately just interrupt
I just wanted to defend the innocent act of kissing. Oh, okay. There's a fair number of I just couldn't resist
For I think it's in the middle of the
There's a fair number of there was a fair number of Miley Cyrus like shaking her hair in the wind of the number of uh... there's a fair number of my lease irish
like shaking her hair in the wind and slow motion shots
yeah well this was also this movie is based on a shampoo commercial
uh... we for real
which one pral uh... he was either pral or what's the one with the women
climax while they're watching their hair
of uh... pral
now is uh... like net or garrison or what is it one. Okay, it wasn't that one. What's the one where they put
Where they put it in their hair and it changes color wait is that the one that's like tinkling on one side not on the other
That's a different one, but it's not that one either. Okay, I didn't show what's the one. I guess it was a hair color
Color anything that Elaine Bannis used to do ads for all right,, okay, so the fact that we're talking about shampoo commercial.
You wanted to say something about animals.
No, I was just gonna say, I know I just don't get me wrong.
I don't want this movie to end with a full Miley Cyrus concert.
However, it does irritate me in movies where they have like a concert or something
and though, and because of the time constraints of it being a movie, they're
like, well, we're going to play two songs and then the concert's over and there's no time
dash in between.
It's just like, well, we saw you come out on stage and we're seeing you leave and I want
the audience to ride it at that point.
We paid $500 to come see this Miley Cyrus.
It seems like everybody who's at the concert lives in the town. So like
if they care that much about the fucking town, why do they need a Hannah Montana concert
to donate the money? Yeah, like it just doesn't make sense. I think a lot of those people wanted
that mall built. Yeah. They didn't realize this was a fundraiser and they felt gyms or
tricked afterwards. Yeah, don't thank you. Yeah, I didn't mean to slur gypsies. Thank you.
afterwards. Yeah, don't thank you. So yeah, I didn't mean to slur gypsies. Thank you. As they prefer. Romani. That's why I
mean. Romani for like everybody loves Raymond. Yeah, just
like that guy. So the people were pretty happy though that she
only did two songs. They were all cheering. They should
be why they were cheering, yeah.
They were throwing themselves under the wheels of the truck
because it was leaving.
I guess they were so angry that she turned out to be a prunette
that they just wanted it to be over.
Yeah, prunettes are grosser.
I disagree.
Anyway, no, I disagree too.
But for the sake of comedy.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, then we all agree.
We all agree.
For the sake of comedy.
I mean, that's the whole point, right, right is that that's the reason of comedy no it's because of like that's why she's blonde when
she's Hannah Montana right because they have more fun yeah absolutely sure and she is bangs
I think if that in real life's my list iris has brown hair so Hannah Montana just had to have
different hair should be jet black but like a blue streak in it. That would be kind of awesome. Mm-hmm a DVD with a felt blue streak
Right in it
Right in her hair. Yeah
Guys, let's I would prefer black night is that possible?
As long as mr. Lawrence is in it
Big mom is house. They're are pretty much my roof on it.
Nothing to lose.
Oh man.
Okay, so I think we're pretty much done with this.
Yeah, let's put it.
They made a movie of Martin.
Well, they really didn't really.
There isn't a movie called Martin, but it's not.
Based on the TV show.
Movie is a very confused boy who thinks he might be a vampire.
Yeah.
Anyway, let's go on to Final Judgement Debra.
Final Judgement Debra.
That's what we call it now.
The categories are, as always, was this a good bad movie?
A bad bad movie, or a movie that you actually kind of liked?
Stuart, what do you have to say about it?
I think I'm going to put it on the line between bad, bad movie and good, bad movie.
It was relatively light and moved quickly.
There was a whole bunch of pratfalls as we've already pointed out.
There was one very genuinely funny piece of physical comedy in my opinion.
Yeah, so I can't-
They called it plate break.
I mean, it's not like it's not great.
It's not like, hey, let's watch this and laugh.
But I also like to joke about a lobster bib.
Is that a lobster dinner?
And Chager like run across to her boyfriend's dinner
and she still have the lobster bib on.
And he's like, why do you have that?
And she's like, because I planned order of lobster.
And she's like this huge like goofy, like hand motion,
then it's kind of funny.
And I think it's
Funny because she's also wearing a completely different outfit than the one she was wearing that normally had the lobster They like it was some kind of cartoon and she just threw all the clothes in the air and then land them on
And surprise they didn't have a thing where people try to get at her and jump at her and she sneaks out from underneath the pile of
People right and they keep you know fighting or whatever
I mean the closest thing they did to that was
she snuck under a table with a table cloth
and the table was like moving through the room
and somebody acknowledged it,
but doesn't really say anything.
Yeah, someone is like, like,
I think it was the mayor.
The mayor has a look at the space.
Like, that's weird that the table is moving,
but I guess I won't investigate.
Yeah.
So what do you say Elliot?
I kind of agree with Stuart.
I feel like it was one of those things where it wasn't.
It was not a particularly good movie but it was not a painful movie but we were just
not the audience for it.
Like I'm sure this is a good movie for you know 13 year old girls but for us it just
wasn't going to do the job but it wasn't like 10,000 BC where we couldn't stand sitting through it, you know.
There's no audience for that movie.
No, there isn't.
Yeah, I accept people who want to hunt Manics.
Or we call them mammoths.
Spirit, too.
Yeah, I agree with you guys.
I feel like it kind of falls outside of the categories because what I would say about it is
it's inoffensive. Like it's like you say about the you know like movies from the
60s like you know it's it's it's appropriate that this is a Disney
production because it feels like it could be like a million dollar duck or
something like that. Yeah. Is that a movie? Like Dean Jones could be in it.
There's not thing. So. Or like Haley Mills. Yeah. It's it's it's it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like, it's not like You know if you're not on the same wavelength as it so I would say don't don't bother renting it unless you are the age group
It is meant for and gender group
So I have some good letters here moving on
We did he give his yeah, he just did okay. I was paying doesn't
I was looking at my phone. I think keep up
So I have some good letters here. First one is titled Wolverine. I like it already
So I have some good letters here. First one is titled Wolverine. I like it already.
Sure.
I like where it's going.
It's from Jen Last Name with Hell.
It's from Logan Last Name with Hell.
Hey, Bob, it starts.
It says, uh, all the way from Madreport.
Okay.
I was listening that episode again the other day,
and we were talking about Madreport for a while,
and Dan said, let's not talk about this anymore.
As I said, it's from Jen last name with hell.
Jen is a long time listener.
First time writer.
A big supporter.
No, she's written before it.
Oh, well that's very nice.
Thanks for supporting us.
She says, so how many emails did you get from female comic book readers after the last
episode?
I'm guessing at least a couple because there's probably
quite a bit of overlap between that population
and your female listeners, or maybe it's just me
and I'm a freak after all.
Now, we actually didn't get any letters.
This is either because we're not popular enough
to get outraged letters.
Check.
Or because our readers, our readers, our listeners,
we're looking at. Well, for our listeners, we're lucky enough.
For the deaf, we do have a translate in a transcript that goes out.
If you want a transcript, please write to PioBox 805FLOP.
I forget where the joke comes from, it's somewhere they joke.
If you want a transcript of this program, watch it again and type very fast.
There's something like that.
But we're also lucky enough to have listeners who I think understand that 90% of
the sexism on the show is a put on.
The other 10% comes from Stuart.
But only 10% for real?
Continuing.
She says-
You have to pick your numbers up.
I know.
She says she can also answer everyone's questions about Gambit.
You all don't see his appeal because none of you were once a 13 year old girl reading
X-Men.
The dark danger is anti-hero with the crazy cage and accent.
Yeah, total girl-babe.
I happen to know I was not the only grown up straight girl comic reader interested in
seeing the Wolverine movie pretty much just to see how Gambit would appear in real life
form.
Weren't we disappointed?
And she asks,
Any plans to watch Powder Blue? I hear it's got Jessica Beelze's stripper,
and of course Whitaker is a priest, and Chris Christopherson.
I don't know what he's supposed to be, but the fact he's there is crazy enough.
Happy belated congrats on 50 episodes.
We did discuss Powder Blue at the time, but I guess we decided that a...
It sounds like it's just a very turgid, not enjoyable movie.
Yeah, so I'll just watch it by myself with the fast forward button handy.
Or you're gonna be fast forwarding the internet?
You're gonna be fast forwarding the most of the movie.
Well, I can use, I can jump scenes. I'll easily do that, Elliot.
Or again, the internet.
Yeah, and also the...
What am I using the internet for? For pornography. Please let me do that, Elliot. Or again, the internet. Yeah, and also the...
Why do you use the internet for?
For pornography.
Okay.
This is a porn-out movie?
No, but Jessica Biel has no clothes on at one point.
Oh, okay, cool.
And it's...
Don't know more spoilers.
I believe he's gonna spoil it by saying it was a directed DVD film.
A directed DVD film, so it kind of falls outside of our thing usually.
But also like, per view.
But also our per view in this case, because also the Jessica Veal scenes are not,
it's almost, they're such a disappointment, you know.
Yeah, I am.
Would you go into the bathroom or something?
Yes.
I got a run. It was in here.
Yeah, got me.
You did say that.
Okay, let's move on.
Do we have other letters?
Yeah, this one is titled, oh, Dan.
And I have to say, you wrote it.
I have to say, this is neither the first email I've gotten that has been titled, oh, Dan,
nor is it the first conversation I've had that has started with something going, oh,
Dan, but anyway, it's from Ashley last name withheld.
A lot of you.
And it says,
La Paz ladies.
Dan, I cannot abide this any longer.
Elliot and Stewart have received flattering, bordering on creepy pieces of fan mail, which
have clearly had a negative effect on your self-esteem.
The least popular flopper you say?
Not so, I say.
Although I certainly can't resist Elliott's impressive intellect and Stewart's raw masculinity
and reportedly large penis.
I'd still rather have those than the intellect.
I'd have to admit that you're my number one flop house crush.
You're the mastermind, the organizer, the ideas man.
The psych clubs.
You're sensitive, pensions.
The Leonardo.
With a dry wit.
All this plus those gentlemanly, good looks and pleasingly low voice.
Sigh.
Please don't feel inferior to your fellow floppers, Dan.
I'm sure I'm not the only listener who's heart you warmed your way into.
And with you, she doesn't have to worry about you like messing around with Tree No Bed.
That's true because you're the guy, you know what I mean, she's done having fun with us.
Time to settle down.
Sure.
That was a...
Some of the round face.
That was a very nice letter.
Guys, I think I've fallen for Ashley last name without okay, should I tell
Lulu that you're gonna be leaving
Yeah, that's not where I thought you were gonna go with that. I thought you were gonna mention my wife
Oh, well you talked to the married
You gotta get this angel girl out of your life
This is oh Ashley I mean
Wait, who's an angel?
I gotta go This is oh Ashley I mean wait wait whose am I? I got to go
Well, maybe you know maybe maybe Sarah and Ashley and
Heck Angela too. Maybe we can all maybe we can all work something out, you know, maybe wow that's kind of a joke
I'd make yeah sort of you're cutting into steward sexism right there
Why is it sexism we haven't we haven't asked Ashley and the fictional Yeah, dude. He's not six. He's not six. He's not six. He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six.
He's not six. He's not six. He's not six. He's not six. He's not six. I'm turning to some other kind of heavy petting. I'll write up a whole like scenario where some will write some fiction about it'll be like a d&d adventure though
no no
completely graph paper and
you'll have to hold dice at every step to see if you get far
absolutely
on a less gross note I would like to thank
Ashley for taking my taking my bait
your boy bait for the the compliments I was fishing for
and well they're long they're long overhead here but here's the here's the funny thing the same day I got
this email and I know you're pretty handsome yeah he's a very good looking man
and he does have a very pleasing voice and you're sitting on the floor right now
guys weird for me guys I feel like this is gonna get into the weird slash
fiction area that uh another reader said hey let's let's turn off the
mic for a little bit let's talk about how off the michael it's not what i feel
now that i leave them on
i want to say that the same day i got that uh... email from ashley
i uh... saw
that some people were coming to the blog
uh... or
from
uh... another podcast
okay um...
called the hotcakes podcast
and the show notes
that i saw the flop house had I saw a lot of the flop house
had been mentioned in one of the episodes.
I'm like, huh, I'll listen to this.
And I like listen through.
And I guess the flop house being mentioned.
And these gentlemen, these hosts are so nice
about the show, very complimentary.
They say that one of them was recommending it together.
And I find it extremely pleasurable.
It's very funny.
And he mentions, he's just like, oh, you know, there's hosted by these three guys.
There's Elliot Kaelin, he writes for the Daily Show,
he's a guy who's two are Wellington, he keeps talking about his big balls.
Okay, that's polacious, but that's okay.
And then, and um, uh, man, uh, he could not
remember my name. He remembered you guys as
full names and what we do. I'm the, I'm literally
I mean, he inaccurately remembers what I do, but that's okay. I am literally,
I'm literally the only one of the three of us who has been on every show and he could not remember just one of my name.
Your name comes up at the beginning of every episode but some reason our name seemed to come up during episodes.
Yeah. You know. See I think the problem is I don't have a hook. Like he was able to, he was like, oh there's a guy, he writes for the daily show, that's a big hook.
Oh, you know, like the genitals guy. It's big hook.
I need something that I can like really sink in.
It's a nice hook.
So, I wanted to present this to you guys.
I wanted to present this to you guys and see what you thought my hook should be.
Maybe I'm like a character.
Yeah, you know, well, I'm not a character.
I'm not a bit put on.
I just was like a trained.
What if I like the guy who keeps sneezing?
I think that's more irritating, the listeners,
I mean, how long is the guy who straightens his tie
before every day?
Yeah, again, not something you can see on the podcast.
What if you're like, you dance really well?
Visual.
What about, what about, when you wake up every morning,
you say, time to make the donuts?
So, well, the snorered of the podcast, we just know this well.
Yeah, well what if you join the volunteer fire squad?
Well, I like that a lot.
I guess this isn't fair because it's not like you write for the daily show on the podcast.
We get to hear that happening.
So if we just talked about me doing some of these
things. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we don't even have to talk about it. Maybe we should record
it while you're writing now. Like, would that be really exciting? It would be very distracting
to me. Okay. Well, I'm working. Probably to my colleagues.
It came into the office with, yes, Stuart, you could hold the laptop and I could have
like a book. And you hold like a boom mic, Yeah, well, let's see. What could your thing? Maybe like you love coffee
Feels kind of hacky to me. Okay. Well, what if like in your spare time you are like a survivalist you got a militia
Yeah, you love that you're always talking about how the government's gonna
That's why you're on those lists
I don't say impressions you're the guy who does all the impressions. Yeah, yeah, yeah
It's a lot of like I'm Elliott. This is Stewart and then Dan
You're like well, well, this is Dan McCoy. I asked Jimmy Stewart
That's right. That's my impression of you doing Jimmy Stewart my Jimmy Stewart is much better. Oh
Yeah, or you can be like that that guy from from the police academy movies the motor mouth
Oh, you mean
Jim's yeah, yeah, that's a win slow
I don't think his characters name motor mouth Jones I made that up. I think you're thinking about the micro machines
You could be like the micro machines guy and talk really fast. All right. Oh, you could we try it try it out
No, you're not going to vest. Yeah, give us like the King James Bible all the way through in like a minute
No, say more like you had a mustache
Not like you're talking about tiny cars
I think I this would involve me having the King James Bible memorize
Well, that's the first step. I do like that when they wanted to say like our toy is tiny cars
Tiny cars tiny cars talking really fast of course. It makes perfect sense
All right, well guys these are all great ideas. I think I'm gonna sleep on them
Yeah, you could also we could also do like a little listener contest where they could send in hook ideas
Yeah, I think it's a good idea
listener contest was they could send in hook ideas. Yeah, I think it's a good idea. What was the last time? listener contest was really successful so far.
Yeah.
Well, we do it.
Your friend claimed that he was going
to give us some DVDs of stall with the DVD commentary.
Maybe if I'm mentioning this, we'll guilt them into doing that.
Oh, yeah.
I haven't talked to him a long time.
And I can check up with him.
If listeners come in, if listeners write in with ideas for something that will make all
of you fall in love with me the way that actually last name with how it's fallen.
You just gotta be yourself Dan and you'll find the right girl eventually.
Maybe even your wife.
I don't know.
I've been living with her for a while.
But you need confidence.
That's the thing.
Girls like guys who like themselves, right Stewart?
Or no guys who can dance good. Yeah, yeah, or learn that a dance real good
Or wear wolf shirts or yeah
Yeah, kill a wolf and like wear it like a shirt when we and the mouth is right over your head
So it looks like you're inside the wolf. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, no, that's good. Yeah, that's really good
That's really that's really what if like you're like oh, I'm dead and I'm so sleepy
Okay, that is always sleepy. That's good too. you're like, oh, I'm Dan and I'm so sleepy. Okay, Dan is always sleepy
That's good to I like that. I'm adorable about it. All right, I mean you can't win this contest
They were right cuz I'd be unfair. No, I can't enter or else I would win. Yeah, well I'd win the grand prize
Which is what damn?
Well, maybe it'll be a DVD. Okay, some kind of a DVD please enter this contest
Give Dan is hook and you'll possibly win a DVD to maybe maybe that maybe
Watch tonight right the Hannah Montana DVD. I was thinking again of
Hold their
What if Netflix wins they get an enter
Wait a minute. How are they gonna get their DVD back?
They're just gonna have to come get it man. Stop being so lazy Netflix
Okay, so
So we've talked a long time. I don't know what like whether we really have any time for recommendations
I mean we can do it really fast
Rather than like getting into it detail maybe just run down. Mm-hmm sure
Okay, I'll run them. I'll recommend a movie I saw a long time ago. That's really good
Okay, I'll recommend a movie I saw a long time ago that's really good. Called Castle Freak, directed by Stuart Gordon.
It's really awesome because this family moves into an Italian castle that they happen to inherit.
And a little do they know that there's this crazy misshapen freak, a castle freak, living in the basement.
Who flips out, kills a bunch
of people, I think he bites a prostitute's boob off, and then I think he even rips off
his own ding-dong in a rage.
Totally awesome movie.
So it's bad to say?
So it's like an extra end of Rumpelstilts.
So very similar.
Yeah.
So that's that's released by Kino or Sim?
Yes, it's, it's, nope, full moon picture.
Oh, okay.
Close.
Very close.
Very close.
What do you got?
I have a recommendation that's half recommendation,
half plug.
I have another film screening coming up for anyone
who's in New York.
February 3rd, first Wednesday in February at 92,
I try Becca, and we'll be showing divorce Italian style.
And if you don't live in the New York area or can't come
I would still recommend you seeing divorce Italian style. I rewatched it
just recently to review for this screening so I could take my notes on it and I was reminded what a fun movie it is.
So I just watched the documentary
Bright Leaves, but what's this face?
the documentary, Bright Leaves, but what's his face?
You know I'm talking about it. No, I don't.
The guy that Sherman's March.
Oh, okay.
I know who you mean, but I don't remember his name.
Oh, man.
This is gonna kill me if I can't remember the name.
Harry Leaves.
But, a power's booth.
He's known for making documentary
sort of in the form of kind of personal essays.
Yeah, kind of, using his own life to talk about larger subjects.
Right.
The thing is about a lot of documentaries, either they're
polemical in the sense that they have a specific point that they're trying to make,
or they are movies about life that are trying to shoehorn life into more of a traditional
narrative often, whereas this movie was much more
kind of freeform, it follows, you know, his whims wherever they may take him,
and that seems like it's, you know, kind of artless, but it takes as much
shaping and editing as anything to make it interesting and engaging, and it
certainly was that, and so I enjoyed that a lot.
And so bright leaves is my recommendation.
So in order of quality or or not we got a castle free, a divorce, a talent style.
Yep, a divorce, a divorce talent style.
I was going to try to say it in a little Italian but I don't know what that is.
And bright, bright leaves. Just bright know what that and bright bright leaves bright
Right, just bright leaves not bright bright leaves. No in case you're looking it up
So guys
Somebody
Yeah, I'm gonna have to disparaging any movie that's not Castle for
You have to cut this short. I have a
Concert that I have to attend as an audience member and certainly not perform on stage part.
Dan, why do you have a wig in your hand?
Is that all about it?
No, this is a merkin.
Anyway, it's really long hair for a merkin.
I like a lot of hair down there.
Bright blonde.
So, for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy.
I've been Stuart Wellington. And I continue to be Elliott Kaelin.
Good night!
I apologize for the lack of a table. Theoretically we're getting a new table at some point.
Sure, sure.
It's kind of cool. I like it. It's kind of like college.
This, it feels like bean bag chairs.
And a poster of Clockwork Orange. kind of like college. This, if yeah. You need like bean bag chairs.
And a poster of Clockwork Orange.
Yeah, or Jim Belushi wearing your college sweater.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, from Annas.
For those people kissing in like Paris.
Yeah.
Ready Paris.
Oh, that was, you must have been in like a lot of feeder kids room.
That shop from Texas Hardwood that's not even good.
There's a lot of girls rooms.
I don't know.
I was always weird out by girls rooms.
Because I was their like tonic friend.
Yeah, you listen to their troubles.
Girls' room always smell like the Mossman human figurine.