The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #55 - The Ugly Truth

Episode Date: February 21, 2010

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme 0:31 - 3:35 - Stuart wastes all of our time by discussing his upcoming 30th birthday. 3:36 - 34:25 - If your criteria for a romantic comedy is that it contains the words "the" and "truth," and has a negative descriptor in the middle, may we suggest The Awful Truth starring Cary Grant? 34:26 - 40:31 - Final judgments 40:32 - 50:00 - Flop House Movie Mailbag 50:01 - 51:14 - An explanation of the new Movie Minute policy. 51:15 - 56:31 - The sad bastards recommend. 56:32 - 58:30 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Gerard Butler month continues. We discuss the ugly truth. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flap House, I'm Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington, I'm Elliot Kaylen, we're all back together again. Like the Muppets, the original peaches. Hey guys, hey, hey, I don't know if you guys knew this, I peaches. Hey, hey guys. Hey, hey, two. I don't know if you guys knew this. I see there. Hey, hey guys. Yeah, you guys, you two.

Yeah, yeah, the other people in the room. Yeah, yeah, you guys. I got a yeah. Yeah, I, I don't know if you guys know this, but I'm turning,

I'm turning 30 next week. Whoa. 30 years of old. Yeah, 30 years of age. 30 years of young. So, what do you think my range is? Like, like how far you can throw a disc? As an actor.

We'll talk about girls I can get later. Let's talk about roles I can play. Okay, you could be like the best friend. You could be like the dumb thug. No, no, the range of age. Like the jock who doesn't know how to do math. I would say you could play the new scarecrow. Yeah, I could see where between 29 and 38.

Okay. No, I think you could. That's all rough. I think you could play easily from 35 to 55. No, I think you could probably play a college student, do you think I could play 13, are you auditioning for a role? I could play a college student who had maybe

of like deliberately failed a couple of times. It leveled like that guy who was at the university who was constantly been in school for 13 years, like that kind of guy. Sure, you don't think I could put like a baseball cap on backwards and you'd be like, oh, he's my high school brother. Sure, you can put a beanie on and we think you're 13. Yeah, and I'll be listening like headphones and playing with my swat.

Maybe if you hold like a giant lollipop. Oh, that's like a fairly weak. Yeah, it's very big among the teams now. I do have to go with Elliot on this and ask why you care. I don't know, it's, you know, it's a milestone, right? It's a milestone in a young man's life. Well, I was a little glum when it happened to me. It's like the first nocturnal mission.

Yeah, it's one of those things you remember for the rest of your days. Well, you really shouldn't, I mean, you remember the aftermath, you don't remember the actual event. Yeah, actually, yeah. No, I mean, I had on video. Oh, I see. Yeah, I was looking

for paranormal activities. It would be a very different type of movie if they were they set up looking for a ghost and just turns out he's coming into his sleep. Yeah. And it would be that like noticeable either. I mean, I might wiggle around a little bit. It's not like it like sprays out like a fire hose. Maybe if Zelman King had produced paranormal activity that's how well paranormal mission. Wait, is that what you're saying? Wait, wait, there would be like more special effects like, or it would just be more sexual. Just more just more sexual. Oh, that makes more sense. I mean Zelman King would have access to greater special effects and production resources. Yeah, I mean

there's got a lot of funding out there. Yeah, dude, you know that I'm a usual friend of ours. His father directed some of the Red Shoot Diaries. I didn't know that. That's pretty hot. Yeah, it sounds like we're really invested in the film that we saw tonight. The Red Shoot Diaries? Yeah, sure.

The movie version of the Red Shoot Diaries. No, we saw it tonight. Well, they do. They have those compilations of episodes. They sell on tape. Yeah. And they just cut out the ending credits. So you think that it's a movie. Cut out David DeCavina. Yeah, it's called a mash-mo. Is it? Yeah, it's a mash-mo.

It's the Red Shoed Isles visuals, but the audio is actually a milkshake by Kellis. Sure. So, um, Kellis. I think, Kellis, isn't that it? I don't know who did that song. Yeah. uh... from jake by kellis so uh... i think kellis is not a i don't know who did that song sounds like an ancient goddard warrior off to check my i-pod you think of the book of kellis yeah that's right the book of kellis that's right uh... the movie we watched tonight

fights brand more and i remember all right guys sold out film was the ugly truth. Now, it seems there are two kind of truths, ugly and beautiful. Guess which one this movie was about? Well, there's also the awful truth, which this movie was not. Don't confuse this film with the classic Irene Dunn

carry Grant's screwball comedy. That's a very funny movie. Yeah. Also has a hilarious dog in it, who's well known from the thin man movies. It's not like this film This is the only time that Ellie is not interested in talking about the thin man. You're right This movie did not have in it the dog from the thin man movies who would be over 70 human years old Which would make him 500 dog years? That would be a great movie. I do not

You just made me think about how the beloved Aster from the Thin-Man movies has been dead for decades. But think about it if Aster was alive. Think about the great documentary would have just watched on the world's oldest dog. Yeah, it was the first time. It was the first time. It was the first time. But it's the same way that if you watch a silent movie and there's a little kid in it,

it's like, oh, the kid's probably dead now, that's sad. Yeah. Unless you hate kids. And then it's like, oh good, I'm glad that kid in it. It's like, oh, the kid's probably dead now. That's sad. Yeah, unless you hate kids, like, me. And then it's like, oh, good. I'm glad that kid is dead. Man. Mickey Rooney, right? No, he's still alive. Yeah, but he hated kids, right?

Did he? He wished they were all dead. I don't know this. I read that enough in Mad Max and Samar. So getting back to the film, this film started Catherine Hyj, and Gerard Butler and it was a romantic comedy. That was neither romantic nor funny.

Really? It managed to miss out on the other side of the story. You know a lot about romance. I do know a lot about romance. Well, you're the cast of Nova of the group. Okay, well let's see. What would have made it romantic? Well, you're the Casanova of the group. Okay. Well, let's see What what would have made it romantic?

You just turned it right back around No, but I mean like what am I looking for if I'm gonna try and qualify how romantic it is? I mean should we should we talk about what there was there was intense sex in the movie there was not intense sex That description from the Wikipedia plot summary of the film. Are you claiming it in Washington, Louisiana? I know you watched it. I was right there next to you. We were all watching it. Yeah. Okay. You spend more time on your iPhone than the other. Certainly by your standards, Stewart, that sex was not intense. I have to believe. So unless your many stories are tall tales, it's if you will, unless you're just a yarn spinner. Sure. Well, I'm not that. Let's see. I'm not a yarn spinner. Well, there's intense sex in the movie.

Hear me out, guys. Hear me out. There's at least one intense make out that might have led to intense sex except you know, there was problems That complicate and there was one there was one dancing scene and there's a scene of a woman Just like the scene from romancing the stuff a scene where a woman wears vibrating underpants. Oh Romantic or more comedic or is it I mean it was meant to be comedic, but it was neither so I was being nice by Con romantic, okay. I was just putting it in the sex category okay is it possible for something to be both funny and romantic at the same time Elliot yes give me a sample funny I'm a romantic okay or you know a movie it's possible for things to be funny let's go back to the same movie that I've seen at all I don't know what movies you haven't had in seeing.

How about the aforementioned remancing the stone? How about the actuality? A movie like Annie Hall is funny and romantic at times, even though the characters don't end up together, spoiler alert. How about the truth about cats and dogs? If you think it's funny and romantic, then go ahead. I'm just listening, movie. I saw it.

Yeah, you're just drawing films from the time. What about time, man? Waiting to exhale. Yeah. What about Silverado? Day of presidents. So this film, it was 90 minutes long. It was 96.

I'm surprised you guys haven't summarized a movie. Well, we can do that. Yeah, Elliot, why don't you take it? Katherine Heigel is the director slash producer slash producer slash boss I guess wait a minute. This is about slash fiction. No do not listen nobody listening think about slash fiction We've had bad experiences with it. Yeah, well can I just take a second to say we Literally I was literally three words into my summary of the plot But continue. Yes, we thought we could handle the slash fiction, but The one piece of slash fiction that we got it was like the ending of e to mama tambion when once the

Diffinization dude once they have the the three way and the two young men Have a sexual experience with one another. That's what happened. They could not be friends anymore. Spoiler alert. And much in the same way, just reading a slash fiction piece with the three of us. We couldn't be lovers anymore. Yeah, it was a awkward. Our sexual relationship had to end.

Yeah, strictly business for now on, guys. Yeah, strictly ballroom for now on. So anyway, back to the. All right, back to the half a sentence that I had gotten to. Catherine Heigel is the director of a morning television show in Sacramento, which apparently is doing poorly in the ratings. She is also a prude and to control freak.

She has trouble with men. So in effort to spice up the show, they bring on local cable access star. Was his name Chase Manoway? Mike Chadway. Mike Chadway. show they bring on local cable access star was named chase man away Mike Chadway Mike Chadway this is Mike Chadway Gerard Butler of Gamer who is who is you know like a man show type you know he is what guys like girls with big tips so you get your moves big girls yeah I think you actually actually shadowed Adam Krola for this rule this is like this is not a joke he oh really for real he that was his one

glad it wasn't a joke Dan because it was shockingly like funny like anything else involving Adam Krola it was yeah you deflected my attack are you man enough to respond to damn zing? So sure heard of us. So anyway, they bring jarred butler in he immediately starts causing trouble That's the fellow from the 300 film. Yes. Yes, the 300 film. Yes So jarred butler the rating start going up as he brings is no nonsense style of romantic advice to the show cat and i'll disapproves of it until she suddenly

stops kind of because he starts giving her relationship advice and it works and it works that she can attract callin the blandly handsome doctor who lives across uh... living kindle across the apartment building from her he's really in shape though. He's in very good shape and they meet by her son. He's a doctor, right? And he's a doctor. And she's seen as penis, so she has kind of an idea of what she's in for. Yeah. And he wears a tremendous series of fleece pullovers. I was convinced that the end turned the what?

I'm trying to think that the plot twist would be that he was gay. That I was convinced because he was so fit and like well dressed, you know, but just shows how to stereotype exactly. I'm a big hit I guess, but anyway long story short because the movie is terrible. They go through a bunch of hilarious situation. A lot of scenes of mumbling and whispering. There's a lot of long talking scenes that are boring There are a lot of comedy scenes that are also boring with Catherine Hygol screws things up

Like they have the the basic scenes you expect like there's the scene where he's get he's got a mic in her ears that he can Dried butler can feed lines to her that she can use on college like serenow But then he starts saying things to other situations and she repeats it and it's inappropriate. What are you going to do or like the scene that ends in a everybody think she's giving him a hand job moment. Yeah or the scene where she is at a work meeting but there's something embarrassing that happens that causes her to orgasm at the table. You know it's all stupid. Well the something that happens are the pair of vibrating paintings that she intentionally puts on.

That she intentionally puts on. She's going on a date with Colin. He sends her text message that says running late. So she's like, man, how am I going to kill the minutes that I'm going to wait for him? I know. I'll put on a pair of vibrating paintings. All right, but that's what we're going to get in.

She just got in the mail. Yeah, as long as we're going to get in. That happens, dude. That happens sometimes It's still stupid of her to say like well I can probably come and then put these away before he gets here So as long as we're getting into this Since it probably is the comic set piece of the film sure which is not saying much for the film did not Gerard Butler

Give her these vibrating panties Yes, Hamlet I believe Gerard Butler, give her these vibrating patties. Did not. Yes, Hamlet. I believe Gerard Butler be the rogue. Yep, the stoweth. The difference in this case, though, is that Gerard Butler's character is significantly more of an active protagonist than Hamlet ever was. A very astute point, Stuart. But at this point in the film, she and Gerard Butler are ostensibly still a bit at each other's throats like it's a marriage of

convenience like his hands he's helping her out right but but she you know she's not totally on board and what woman what woman can resist vibrating paintings well that's I have not met this woman sir I just everything her before me everything you've seen in this movie before this leads me to believe that cat and high Galk's character upon receiving vibrating panties from Gerard Butler would toss them in the garbage Should be roll her eyes and say oh man Gerard Butler this is the moment she's been fighting against his advice to loosen up This is the moment we're where she has a moment of doubt as we would say, where she says, maybe he's right.

Maybe I should loosen up. But that should be the reason I should loosen my vagina up via these vibrating panties. That's what happened? Damn, you know, this is a family recording. No, it has never been. There are people listening to this while they make dinner. Yeah, that's true.

But I mean, you kept commenting on how the vibrating paintings were black and are and are dressed as white. So it'd be obvious that you'd see it through. It's just interesting as style goes, you know, but anyway, so. No one visible panty lines. But you're going out on a date with Colin. Yeah, but it's kind of hot because then you know, you can see their panties, right? Anyway, the they they do it knows the ugly truth about men She didn't realize that there was a corporate dinner with the the guys from corporate That night so it's a mix them up so she ends up at this dinner with the guys from corporate the remote control for the panties

Falls out of her purse and a child picks them up, but it falls out of her purse when she kicks Gerard Butler for saying something Massage and is dick. Yeah, so it's like her getting like, sir. It's her comeuppance. Yes. It's being such a very rude. Anyway, long story short, again, during a whirlwind trip to Los Angeles where Gerard Butler is appearing on the Craig Ferguson show. Wait, the Craig Ferguson show?

That's right. The late late show. The late late show with Craig Ferguson. Surely it was a Craig Ferguson lookalike. No, you would be wrong there they got the crag Ferguson wait is that that irish guy no actually Scottish okay the only joke i left at the home movie was the one where

Catherine Hygel is trying to prep jarard butler for what the shows gonna be like and tries to do a sky checks and it sounds I wish and jar but it was okay well I wish Scott Irish uh crag for his and I don't say Scott Ferguson for some reason. And that was the only joke I was like, ah, that's kind of funny, because people get Irish

and Scottish accent mixed up. Well, it's also kind of funny, because Gerard Butler, he's an English guy, right? Who use Scottish? So it seemed like that came from a place of reality within Gerard Butler. Yeah. Like maybe he improvised that, uh, semi, and Gerard Butler's famous on-set ad-libs.

And the best kind of joke is the one that, like, we can sit around and discuss why it was really funny. Yes, and that requires a knowledge of the home countries of late-night talk show hosts. And the actors, starting in the ugly truth. Clearly you listeners at home know I'm making a joke the best kind of jokes are Actually the ones that involve kicking somebody in the crotch ding dong sound effects or boob bouncing out of a tiktok shirt Really farce didn't make it on the list so wait there for Yeah, take down by the ding dong sound effect. I'm really a big fan ding dong sound effect like a doorbell or like a spring

That's a boy. Yeah, what are you talking about? Ding dong is way funny. Yeah, I agree. I'm gonna do it on this one. Okay Long story short on this role in trips they have they dance with each other They have a moment of passion like in romancing the stone Yes, they have a moment of passion like in romancing the stone yes they have a moment of passion which is interrupted and then blah blah blah jarard butler leaves the station because she want she's staying with calling they think that she's saying it's a call in that she actually breaks up with

calling and then they meet up again at a hot air balloon hot air balloon festival what the fuck all you were watching it that's what happened and he admits's love for her on live television and everything's okay Who's filming it? There's a camera set up in the basket of the hot air balloon which the whole fucking place as a camera Which the station puts on a live feed? To capture the private moments that they have and then Access it like in the Olympics and then when they say crazy things and

it's swearing and it's broadcast live the producer on the network is like oh oh here it comes oh no he looks over the judge and the judges like wow but it's one of the things where it's like they could cut away at any moment the actual show they're supposed to be broadcasting you know you just cut the feed they don't need to and they lived happily ever after and they had intense sex at the end. They did. And it ends with Jarred Butler, curiously, not confident about his sexual performance.

Yeah, which is disappointing, because up until this point, we, the viewers believe that he is quite the stallion, if it were somewhat emasculated at the end of the film, because it proves once again that a woman's real power is in her ability to fake her orgasms. Whereas a dude, you know, a lot of super orgasm by a lot of super- I mean, her woman is spitting on her. Wow, what?

What? Wait, there is also a brief moment. They replaced Gerard Butler. Wait, I didn't say that, did I? Gerard Butler leaves the stations. They replaced him with a guy named, what was it? Chat Jackson?

Jack Magno. Jack Magno. Chat Jackson. It sounds like a relief picture. They're replacing with a guy named Jack Magno, who starts saying, listen, it's a weird moment where he's like, I'm at the hot air balloon festival to tell you that men are full of hot air,

but really what I'm gonna say is women are liars. When they say no, they don't mean no, just keep going. And it's like, it's- Yeah, and earlier on he said, I've had sex with 150 women. Many of them conscious, there's something like that. Yeah, it was this very weird moment where it was suddenly like, oh my God,

they put a rapist on television. And then that's swept aside for the romantic. Yeah, yeah. Well that's the thing, like, I think they were trying to go for this guy's a creep and instead they went way Pass that it's weird because jarred Butler's character is so relatively tame He's supposed to be like the the misogynistic purve, but really it's like there's nothing He says that you couldn't say on daytime television like Like there's nothing out there or crazy about him. So his character doesn't work, but yeah, they try to replace it.

Yeah, I mean, his character operates on like the Charlie Sheen in two and a half men level. Yeah, exactly. Not that I ever saw that. But like, they heard. You're right, it's like they wanted to show like, really, he's not that bad a guy. So they went for a man who commits one of the worst crimes

that exists, you know. And Captain Heigel's character is this prude that is so far to the I think that we're talking about how that's really the The biggest problem with the movie is that it tries to go for this like old-time. You romantic comedy feel But it doesn't make sense in this day and age where like you don't run into women that are that extremely like Prudish like weird if you do they don't dress or act the way that she does like there's they're talking about you need to sex up your wardrobe and she she's wearing like tight-fitting jeans and a shirt that shows off her shape like she's not wearing prudish clothes when he says this it's it's just a weird thing of like

we got to make her look like she's really unsexy and doesn't have sex a lot. We're just Catherine Higles, we got to sex up this character, you know. Yeah, we need some stuff to get the guy, you know, put the boyfriends in the seat next to their girl. They're going to be sitting through this movie. We got to give him some eye candy. Maybe they'll go because that guy was in the gamer and the 300 movie. The gamer.

The game. I'm starring Fred Savage. But, uh, it's the wizard. But no, like, yeah, if he wasn't really the star, I mean, he was a Fred Savage. But uh... It's the wizard. But no, like yeah, if he wasn't really the star, I mean he was a supporting character. No, he was the star, but he wasn't the actual gameplay. He wasn't the wizard, okay.

He wasn't the title character, but he was the star of the film. I don't know his end movie, I know. I know his end movie, I know. He was Mario from Super Mario 3. That was the surprise star of the film. Everyone's first star of the power glove. The power glove was a cameo appearance. I think I wish in the credits that it said power glove himself. The younger version of hit

Indie singer, Ginny Lewis was the star. I don't know who that is. But like if you can counter some of that. I'm gonna assume I made a reference that I understood. Oh damn. Holy rears. I'm done it again. Holy rears, day and that's the real McCoy that would be my segment on the show but uh... no but yeah if you met someone as buttoned down in modern life uh... as catholic is in this film thing is i feel like they would but not yet

like they would recognize that they had a problem themselves like yeah you know i'm just you know i'm a i'm just don't not comfortable with my sexuality. And like, they would be aware of that. And other people would be aware that that was weird where she's like presented. I feel like as some sort of, like not like a norm,

like they definitely make it clear that she's like a crazy control freak. But. But in a way that where it's like, it turns on and off when they need it too for the scenes. Right. And it's not a well-written movie. Yeah, I mean, like I feel like she's like, turns on and off when they need it too for the scenes. Right, and it's not a well-written movie. Yeah, I mean, like I feel like she's like, what?

What? She's borderline has emotional problems, the way they picture in the movie. And they don't, but they don't like portrayer as being kind of like an outsider. She's not like that, what, Angela Betis' character in May. Yeah. She's not building a lover out of the bits and pieces of men and women who have come

on to her. Yeah, she's not doing that. Yeah, but it feels like they could have easily made a character who is a very successful woman in the world of television in directing, which in a lot of places is a male-dominated field. She's gotten there by kind of turning off her femininity and her sexuality. I mean they've made this movie a hundred times before and now she has to blossom again but they she's never turned it off.

Like the characters just not none of the characters are extreme enough for any of the jokes or situations to work. They're all kind of middle of the road and bland and and Colin is the blanest of them all them all like he's just he is literally there to fill the space in the air or in the frame of the road and bland and and colon is the blandest of them all the mall like he's just he is literally there to fill the space in the air or in the frame that a human body is needed to fill it strange because there's a million more people with like even just the slightest bit more charisma than that guy like they could have put Paul Walker in this movie and if the movie would have been way better.

Yeah. And he's a lot any movies. He's a black hole of charm Paul Paul Walker, and he would have improved the ugly truth. Yeah. I would like to talk about how vague this film is about it. Like the problem with so many bad movies is their lack of specificity, and it was only three-quarters away through the film that we realized what city this was supposed to be taking care taking well i think they naturally assumed the audience would recognize the famous landmarks and buildings of sacramento california yeah a town that nobody has been to even the people who live there well we only learned it because

uh... my wife capital of california my wife yelled it from the other room because she looked it up on wikipedia yeah yeah she had a long gotten bored of the film and left but she was you know consumed by the mystery of what what the and she is the target audience a lady with two ex-chromos ohms a lady with you know that's just women that you know she's a lady with a husband who doesn't mind sitting down for the occasional movie yeah exactly you know so yeah target demographic but um... so it's sacramento it's at this this morning show that apparently it has no name i think yeah it's ratings are so bad that it is consistently beaten by this uh... public access show that jr. Butler has

but it has not been canceled yet even spite of these bad ratings it gets guests like rock with a spirito and desmond to two on it that they just mentioned asment to do to do you know actually see rock with a spirit on the show but the producers of the ugly truth apparently could not convince the archbishop to show up and be in the film. But they got Craig Ferguson and Rocco just spirito though.

So there's that weirdness. They can't add up T-Cool one. Really? Wow. It's man. I know, I'm not that advanced in man. Yeah, it's cool. Well, and there's this weirdness that it's like this morning show, but it doesn't appear like it's like Good Morning America or something.

It seems like a regular new show, but then it't appear like it's like good morning America or something. It seems like a regular news show, but then it will give over half of its time to this long. To the ugly truth. Yeah, the ugly truth. The ugly truth. So what? It's not as scary to snooze. Like, jazz, Peter, Peter.

It's like Jack Corvette. That's pretty cool. Cadillac Bronson. I'm just saying that this, like, what kind of fucking shows this? This is a show about broadcasting that has no understanding of like the most basic

yeah well it's like a morning show like you know uh... it's it's and it's a like a the the show i keep thinking of is the show that dandy tanner hosted on full house called wake up san francisco like that show but at a news desk in the beginning they keep saying like you're a newsman this is a news show but all we ever see them do is a cooking segment these ugly truth segments and the set and they tease segments like then coming up

we are the we look at the purposes at the zoo it's like this is not a news show this is a fluff morning show yeah why not have uh what jet racing stripe talk about the other in gelo and gelatin based stuff there was also a scene in this film

and maybe we missed something because we talk through the films well well well don't hold a curtain back but we take notes and everything but there was a scene in this movie which is like four times and we read the screenplay there's a scene where Gerard the Rift track got say let me finish one sentence yes get through an idea so that

the school know people listening to the they were waiting for it can understand that you had you have to have to have enough in a sense okay anyway it's the buildup so there's a scene in this movie. It's gonna be good where Catherine Hygel is listening is talking to Colin and Gerard Butler listens in from his cell phone Okay, so she's talking on a work line and he somehow listens into her phone It might be a phone. I think it might be a cordless phone that is also in the office on that line But then why does she have two phones in her office? This is what I'm saying. It may have been something that we missed because we were talking but

It just feels like the movie doesn't care. It doesn't care to make sense Well, this is also the kind of like he says in the beginning We're we're being beaten by this great guy on channel 83 Public access they could have easily had her go home and say like well I'll see this for myself and turn on that show because the show is apparently because his ugly truth TV shows apparently on 24 hours a day on the public I say you know but instead her cat steps on the remote which turns on the TV of the right channel like why bother why have something that like it's almost as if the movie was saying her pussy turns him on

i i think that symbolism is so far above the head like what's going on in this thing pussy we got it you know you don't need to say it over again uh her cat her cats to it by the way who's he names dartanian you know you know you know that so it's a d'artanian breaks a fish bowl that's what you first learn his name because they see us dartanian

how could you or something like that the cat runs up a tree and she's dartanian come back dartanian dartanian well this is her fourth cat there are at those port those in aromas before this and they'll pass away. I would I'll bet eight takes of her turning and shouting dark ten. Yeah, I was the director. I would have made her do it 70 times That was the way I would punish her if she was if she was being cranky on set. Well, we should do some more titanium takes You're known for keeping your actors in line. Oh yeah, I'm like Fritz Lang that way.

Wow. You're like that one director who did everything 80 times to sap any personality out of it. I forget who it was, but it's like a famous director who like that was the thing. He just he just wanted them to say the words. So we would do every take like a hundred times. Like, yep, that's the one I want. Chris Columbus. Yeah, man.

That's it want Chris Columbus Abotow You are a rough on that guy. I'm not a fan of his work. He means well. I know that Yeah, I find him neither funny nor interesting because Okay, wow, I'm not I haven't seen He he was involved with the Sarah Marshall movie, right? He produced it. Yeah, I've seen I think you like that one I couldn't finish the third one so that's why I was in that but anyway the ugly truth, huh? Yeah, it was it wasn't I was an ugly I hope mr. Havital will still read my screenplay

Yeah, it's called bunch of bunch of guys hang out and get high and talk about stuff from when they were kids. There's a shrewish woman in it. The movie. Then it's a mad magazine level satire. Just throw it. I made it up right now on the top of the top of my head. Yeah, if he was writing some for mad magazine, he'd spend at least 20 bucks.

There'd be way more yiddish in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, it's not a, um, this was not a very good wall. This is a very bland move. Okay. You were pitching a romantic comedy at the beginning of

this movie. I was. Yeah, okay. We'll go. Bad date. Okay. What's the deal there? It takes place over one night. okay. We'll go bad date. Okay, what's the deal there? It takes place over one night. Okay. And this guy goes on the worst date ever. What kind of guy? He's your average show. He has a little arms. He has two arms and two legs. Okay, but not at the end of the date. Oh, no. That's how bad this date is. The sunglasses. He's not cool enough for sunglasses, but he'll need him when his eyes get pulled out by crows when he's hanging from a jiv it sure give it I don't know make sense to see learn anything from

the experience what he learns is what's his arc uh... his arc is basically i'm not gonna go on a date with her again yeah i got it but he but he doesn't have any limbs don't know how to say maybe he might just lose one leg what time what time what. Okay, what time of the actress is gonna play this bad day? She's gonna be real sexy, but she is trouble. She's gotta be able to play like, no, no, not well, a little bit of clumsy. Okay. Also kind of crazy. Okay. And maybe she is related to a murderer. Okay, related to a murderer, I like this.

I like this. Like, at some point, this takes a left turn. It's like a lot of like, oops, she stood up at the wrong moment and knocked over the waiter's tray. Like a Miranda Richardson type. Kind of, and then eventually goes into sautéritory. Oh, yeah. I like where you're going here.

It's like a more dramatic something wild. Yeah, exactly. Or like National Ampune's blind date, but it was called blind date because he was blinded at the end or like a hard-break kid but with more been still with his heart actually torn into I think you're gonna get us to it back together with shoelaces I think I'll lose the young female quadrant when he loses his eyes I know well he's gonna be there's gonna be plenty of yucks in it you know there's lots of jokes I mean young girls eat up that moment where the eat up eyes They eat at that moment where he's like standing and standing in the midst of a howling gale

Howling you up uncarrying Yeah, I know holding the remains of his eyes. I'm blasted heat Sounds with not but the fool to I guess the fool is with the air so it's which is the good brother Edminder Edward I don't remember okay well he's the one who's with Gloucester yeah so I would love to I would love to write a movie called bad date that like starts out like it's like a very silly movie and then just gets very not like audition but that's the thing it's a slike a very silly movie and then just gets very not like audition cover that the thing it's been done before something like audition except

audition where the first half of the movie isn't painfully boring to sit through okay that's that's the whole point makes the ending all the sweeter i did not and i watched it it's that's that's that slow burn you know the audition is one of the is the movie that it's better if you don't know what's coming

but i didn't know what was coming i probably would have stopped watching the movie sure because there's it's not particularly yeah a lot of the cash in the making movies are like that except a lot of his movies are crazy right off the bat that's true like issue the killer has its slow moments but it also but it's insane right from the beginning well that's fair and the he's a killer is a mostly Pottery of semen, you know, yeah, all right. Well

Now that we're in a roundtable discussion of Tkesshi me Yeah, he got a movie like Izu I think we're cozy or go zoo he loves his zoos. I think we should probably wrap up our ugly truth discussion What's left of it? I guess I know to say we... we can go on to judgements that's a lot of okay because it seems like we've uh... what kind of judgements final judgements final judgements tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt a bad bad movie or movie that you actually sort of liked Stuart. I'm gonna say bad bad movie because there wasn't nearly enough silly stuff.

Like, I was expecting it to not be a lot of fun, but aside from the hilarious vibrating panty scene, there was nothing that I really enjoyed. The O'Rottles movie. The vibrating panty scene. I also did enjoy Gerard Butler's attempt to hide his little chipmunk cheeks with a half beard, but it didn't work, buddy Go for a full beard. Gerard Butler is gonna come and he's gonna beat all of us. Not me. I haven't said anything about how puffy he looks He can beat me up. It's okay He'll be like popper rats

I'll take his picture. He also we've done that how Gerard Butler talks out of the side of his mouth like Papa. That's true. Yeah, this is a bad, bad movie. There were a couple of moments where I was sort of like... When the two leads were allowed to just sort of be pallying around, you know, when it was a movie about people who disagreed, but were workers who worked together in friends. Like, I actually kind of found some of that a little charming, like- They're just potential, yeah. Like, there could have been chemistry if they were allowed to just be like, okay, well, we disagree, but we're not going to argue about it all the

time, but like, that's just going to be a source of, you know, like a little fricking, a fun friction in our relationship, and that was the film rather than all these contrivances. That wouldn't have been a great movie, but at least it might have some enjoyable moments, whereas this was just, you know, the worst kind of, I don't buy the numbers, romantic comedy, like, okay, well, we're going to mix in a little serenade, we're going to have like some opposite's track, it's gonna be... People are gonna get caught in situations that seem sexual or are awkward or embarrassing and then we're gonna cut away from that scene so we don't have to extricate them from that situation.

Yeah, I just didn't just go. Maybe in this movie with Jennifer Aniston jennifer aniston it'll be better all that right yeah jordan ball is that a the bounty hunter yeah maybe that'll be that'll be that'll be right up your alley you should take a date to that one sure perhaps my wife let someone else that's gonna be our next laugh house contest

go on a date with damacolai my wife wants to stay married to me so she doesn't want to see the bounty. Who wants to see the bounty under with me? Nice. So what is the bounty hunter about? It's about the bounty hunter. Let the X games begin. Oh yeah, that's the story.

Say it the poster. The slogan on the poster. Not really what the movie's about, but that's all I need to know. George Butler has yet had found his niche once, which was man with with cut abs who yell who bellows at Persians. Brandish is a sword. And since then he's they've been trying him and it's it's kind of the same way that like if he was a star in the 30s or 40s. PSI love you. PSL it. PSI love you. But it's not that's not a he's not saying a movie title. No, no

He's just one in a rough he's writing the post script to a letter he has yet to write Yeah, but it's like in the 30s or 40s if you have a new star suddenly He's hit it big with this movie 300 you're gonna try him out and as many different types of movies You can to see what he's good in and what he's not good in. What the audience wants to see him do and almost feels like Djard Butler is going through that process right now where it's like, let's see if he can do romantic comedy. Okay, maybe not that. Well, let's see if he can do, like, drama will be next, you know. I think they do that with that Sam Worthington guy instead of just putting him in movies

filled with CGI. I don't think that's going to happen. I'm hoping for some like a musical comedy. Maybe a fantasy children's film. That sounds great. So many musical comedies being made. Maybe like a Jewish family holiday comedy. Are there those?

Do those exist? A point in the right direction. Yeah, please do. Oh, and my final judgment is Bad Ben Movie. What Dan said, it was very by the numbers, but not in the right direction. Yeah, please do. Oh, and my final judgment is bad, bad movie. What dance that it was very by the numbers, but not in a good way. There can be something very fun in seeing a movie that does a formula very well, but seeing a movie

that does a formula very poorly is bad. Example. Well, like a certain kinds of action movies, or certain kinds of romantic comedies. Like a movie like Pretty Woman, it's not a favorite of mine. Like has a kind of formula of characters going through the some similar motions and then and then it works for people you know yeah like I was talking to my I was talking to my lady we watched couples retreat which was terrible and she made

this comment of like oh you know it was worse than I expected I'm like a lot of figure it was gonna be a piece of shit but i guess there is that that that like that comfort you get from something that's at least good at being very bland like by the number believe in their hard movies that are like that too where like all right you're tying in with something i love exactly the relationship coach

yet let's take a look at dr. oz i hope no he's not a relationship. No, he's not a whole lot of medical doctor But there's a problem with your relationship. You had to correct him. It's so the director. Oh, okay. Thanks Dr. Oz I guess Your relationship with your body But like they like a horror movie or a science fiction movie, like there can be a good, like, I'm hopefully going to finally see Avatar this weekend.

Sure. But what I've heard from people who liked it is that it delivered what they wanted very well, that they knew what was going to happen, but there were no surprises, but they didn't want there to be surprises. Like, there can be a certain joy in that, you know. Well, that thing settled. So that was the theory part of this podcast. Yeah. be a certain joy in that. Well, that being settled. So that was the theory part of this podcast.

Now that we've resolved that, no, you want to go, I can move on to the Flapphouse movie Mailbag. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it,

do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do This one is from not written that small print. Well, Dan was holding the paper literally less than a millimeter from his glasses. I don't think that was a literal. His nose actually poked through the paper. They were so close to his. My printer was running. Yeah, the government. Yeah, he's a serious Visual problems. I know, but every like he you know, he says some stuff. That's pretty serious And you're like, oh, that makes sense and then he just like leans right over the paper and it totally messes it up Okay, well, do it hates blind people Just when they're in a position of power So anyway, no, my printer was running out of ink and thus

Looks like you better catch it. That doesn't work. Running out of ink? No, it's not. Ink must be a location of some kind. Anyway, you ruined everything. So this is from Dion last name withheld. More like. We know that the last name is. Sanders, maybe it's Sanders. Dear floppers, it's come to my attention that the flop house doesn't have a tagline. That sucks. Here are some suggestions.

Their follies are fun. Okay. A swift kick to a bad movie's balls. And this one's less of a tagline than just an explanation. Their follies are fun. Okay. A swift kick to a bad movie's balls. And this one's less of a tagline than just an explanation. Your movie sucks, here's why. I actually like that one. I like the, I mean the other ones have a certain flare to them,

but I like that one a lot. All those would look good if plastered on the bottom of a poster with the three of us like with our arms crossed on it. Yeah, back to the back. Shaking our heads. Yeah. Shaking our heads. Yeah. Shaking our heads, no. We're sitting in a, you know,

can you shake your heads in a poster? Well, it's lenticular as you want by it. The head's shaped. Wow. Wow. That's got to cost a lot. I mean, if we go with the post, each one is going to cost $15 or $20 at least.

We're going to print of a thousand of them. No, no, no, no. But we're like, we're sitting. I put them in subways where they'll never be defaced. Or it's like the scary movie poster. We're all sitting in movie theater seats, like throwing popcorn at the screen or something. Sure, and various characters from the films

that we're making fun of will be sitting next to us. But slightly twisted versions of them. Caracatchard, if you will. Yeah, but he says something like that. Surfing with a giant head. Exactly. Well, with tennis riding in. Roller's scary. Right, driving a tiny car.

It says, perhaps another vague contest is an order. I say that only one vague contest at a time. But this would be a very good vague contest. Good vague contest. Well, we actually have, I forgot to hand these to you before this. We have contest prizes for Reels. Well, we actually have, I forgot to hand these to you before this. We have contest prizes for Reels. Well, I was going to get into that because in his post

script, he says, PS Dan is the classy one. Yes, I love you. The classy one. Between occasional clink of ice on glass and the fairly consistent political correctness, Dan keeps Joke train on track and steward off the FBI watch list. Yay!

I love that. That is an accurate hook. I think that's good. I mean, it's kind of like... It's kind of like calling me the Cyclops of the brules. Yes, it's really better. You're not up, yeah. Well, it's phrased in a more pleasant way though.

Yeah, it makes it sound like you're the phrasier. It's supposed to be... As opposed to the Ted Danson. Yeah. Your Dean Martin, yeah. Or who was there? makes it sound like you're the Frazier. As opposed to the Ted Danson. Yeah. Your Dean Martin, yeah. Or who was there, anyone in, or who would it be a mic court, the bailiff? Not the bailiff.

Yeah, he's not a crack. The clerk. Yeah, yeah, Mack, that's you to be. Wait, would I get to be, you'd be Harry and I be John Lericett, right? Of course. You're feeling sure, that's an awesome thing. I'd be okay with you. Can we go do that? Yes. Of course, yeah, I'll start up the holiday

We get our night court adventure Can we do that? What does that even mean? It's all the day, yeah, Tommy Gunner, you know, show like homes or something Do not start up the holodack because more yard is gonna figure out some way of getting off the Can we do that? What does it mean? I don't know what you're asking. It's a tour of what someone to build us a night court set and we would get some old night court scripts I think and we just live inside night court. That sounds good Forever that was good. Yeah, man. I needed that one

So to sum up this one for you some of our new tagline is kind of like night court Wish it was night court. Yeah anyway Do you have magic? I don't but I could learn it if it man. I could be judge hair. Yeah I just too bad Past we could get him on the flop house. You just like nightcourt. Oh yeah, because he was off in on Nightcourt. He guessed it a few times. Anyway, this one's called, this letter is called. I bet we could get Yakovs Miranov.

We probably could get a what's your face? Marky post. You know, if we had a, we got a grand together. If we script a grand together, we probably would have a... Marky post. Well, I want to pay for Cinderella to play at my, my 30th birthday, so that's where my grand's going. Okay.

Anyway, this second and last letter is... Ooh, I like the mailbag. It's called Dan the Memorable Man. It's from Brian. Ah, so it's fiction. Oh! Brian last name withheld. If you case you didn't hear it, that was me and Stuart High-Fiving. man the memorable man. It's from Brian. So it's fiction. Oh! Brian last name withheld.

If you case you didn't hear it, that was me and Stuart High-Fiving. Well I think that three overexcited personalities would crowd the show far too much. There's probably plenty of ways for Dan to stand out among the crowd of two. Perhaps instead of doing the... Perhaps instead of doing the bumper in the middle of the show as a straight plug, Dan could sing a little ditty that summarizes the movie in a humorous way. Sure, I'd stop listening immediately, but I'd never forget the name of Dan, the man who ruined his own podcast. By the way, it was fantastic that Dan was trying to talk about how he doesn't stand out

compared to Stuart and Elliott, and he was constantly being drowned out by those two being very stewardly and Ellie, Ellie T. That's a hard word to say. Ellie, Ellie. Ellie, Ellie. Yeah, sometimes we eat and they're female A's. Sometimes the man making the magic just can't get attention behind the flashy assistance. Anyway, I for one I'm glad that at least two of the floppers don't talk about their junk most episodes. Oh my god. So, you guys are talking about my junk.

Wham- Well. Anyway, so that was a very pleasant email. I accept that, critique. Fine. It's a very big of you, Stuart. Yep. Sing. I will not rise to your challenge.

Oh, man. So, there's a lot of ends and outs to that, Jack. But, oh man, the point of this is, yes, you've got some prizes for the give-down-up. Some surprises. A surprise contest. No, they're not surprises. Well, it's a surprise to the listeners, because they don't know what to do. But not to me.

I know what it is. Okay go. But I think we should give them one more show to get some entries in since we just are announcing officially that we have the prizes now. Yeah. And why don't you explain the prizes? These prizes are, this is a very rare and hard to find thing. Okay. It fits in a box. Okay, I'll in a one-of-a-rittle. I live under a tree. Can you see me? This is a friend of mine,

John Ott, former roommate from the years at college, back in the old Alma Mater, New uh... new york university uh... wrote and directed and produced a short horror film called stahl that uh... he for the dvd release of had us flop house guys do a alternate audio track for doing commentary on his film like a rift rags

kind of like a rift rags exactly yeah and uh... but not legally in rags exactly yeah and uh... not legally in a way that could be uh... oh so we can get sued for that no can get sued we were asked to do it by the person who owns the rights to the film yeah and uh... he has donated to us uh... a couple dbds of that film including our commentary so for the flop house fans out there

one it's a pretty it's a pretty entertaining short film, but also for the Flop House fans this is rare and exclusive Flop House material, not available anywhere else. It's like sitting with us while we're watching the movie rather than trying to imagine what that must have been like while we're with the podcast after we've seen the movie. And for the completist, it's a must. For the Flophouse completist. And if you don't win the contest, you can still buy the DVDs at a URL that I should have looked up before. I'll put it on the website.

Ah, good idea. So speaking of the website, speaking of the website, I just want to briefly take a moment to say, I apologize that there have not been movie minutes recently. And there's been some stuff we can talk about for movie minutes. There has been stuff we've been talking about, but basically I have been getting busier and busier lately, and so since I do most of the movie minutes on my own, I just haven't had time to sit down and do it when it's just me. So I think that going forward, because I don't believe that the Flophouse fan is a big fan,

necessarily the movie minute in particular. They like the main episodes. I was still trying to put out movie minutes occasionally when we are all together and we've recorded something like an extra letters thing or we have a subject that we want to talk about. But in terms of just there being like a separate movie minute that may not be happening anymore. Well, we appreciate all the hard work you've been putting into this and now that it really shows them and you're looking good. Thanks, buddy. And we will try not to let it affect your evaluation at the end of the month. Oh wow. Geez.

Bring it the room down. Okay, so are we done here? Well, we got a right minute to move. Oh, right. Stuart, do you have one? Yeah, I'm going to recommend a movie that we all watch together for fun. Remember guys? Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. We never record anything after we're home though. No. For pleasure. We sat around in my living room and watched a Blu-ray copy of... As if nobody's got Blu-ray.

A Blu-ray copy of House of the Devil, which was a recently released throwback style horror movie directed by Thai West. And it's for anybody who likes horror movies, specifically horror movies that, you know, take a little bit of time and encourage, you know, or a little bit patient. and encourage, you know, or a little bit patient, and are more about atmosphere than anything else, I totally recommend it for you. It's very good. It's very good. So that was mine. I watched recently World's Greatest Dad,

the film directed by Bobcat Goldthwaite. Oh, is that, did they really set on DVD? Yeah. You can watch it on Netflix streaming now. If you want to watch instantly. Well, should we? Is this an actual recommendation? Yeah, no, I'm recommending.

That's what I'm recommending. You're recommending that we watch it, OK? OK. It stars Robin Williams in a not irritating performance. And it's about a guy who has a horrible, horrible unpleasant son who kills himself accidentally during an act of autorotic, a fix, a fixation and his father who is a failed writer, covers this up, writes a suicide note and then after the fact the And then after the fact, the sun sort of becomes deified at the school a little bit. People think they look at the suicide note

and think, OK, this kid was deep. And it's about how we have this tendency to make the dead into saints. It's about what it means to be a good parent. It's not like a hilarious movie, but like it's a good satire and it keeps it very like human-sized. You know, the Robin WoW character does horrible things, but each like incremental step, it makes sense,

and then it doesn't get way out of crazy whack. Like it's not a satire that wears- Where do you work? Well, it's not like a satire where it goes to the extreme where I feel like most movies would want to make it really big where all of a sudden, you know, the kids fake writing sweep the nation and it's the number one bestseller and then there has to be like a big nationwide like Danemon. So that would be extreme crazy way.

Yeah, okay. Alright, well, so it's my- In the Dancienary, under the stream crazy way, that would be extreme crazy way. Yeah. All right. Well, so it's my in the dictionary under the stream crazy whack. That's what it would. It's my recommendation has been totally just counted by my choice of words. I will. It sounds very good to you.

Elliott or his recommendation. The one we have to get in our time machines for this one, Elliott. To go back in time. I don't know why you would need to go. Well, you might actually, because the movie I'm going to recommend is one that's kind of hard to see. It's more of a, well, it's more of a movie like, if it's playing you, you should take the opportunity to go see it. I don't think, I don't think I've been mentioned before. It's called The Devil and Miss Jones.

It's called Behind the Green Door. It's called The the Green Door. It's sort of the Dove soap girl. But it's a movie called Los Angeles plays itself, which is a documentary about the way Los Angeles has been portrayed in film, through film history, and kind of what you would think about Los Angeles if you watched only movies. And then it slowly kind of becomes a documentary about the ways different kinds of films tell different stories and the types of stories about Los Angeles that don't get told about the people who live there who aren't rich white movie stars and kind of the

city itself and misconceptions about it. It's a really good documentary. Unfortunately, it's made up almost entirely of scenes from other films. And because the director and producer, well I think it's the same guy, uh, didn't have, doesn't have the rights to this. I think it's only, he's only allowed to show it, I think, if there's a screening that he is at, I believe. He has permission to show it. So it's one of those things where if it's coming to the city you live in and it's playing at like a revival house or an art house, it's very much worth going to see. And it's a very in-depth documentary, it's long, but it's a lot of fun.

It's neat to you really think about the movies differently. There's a lot of scenes from movies like Blade Trinity and things like that where you start to think about the backgrounds of these shots and the buildings that are in them. And it's, you know, you know, not that Wesley Snipes has jumped me through a window or something like that. It was very good. I thought it was a very well-made film but it's it's kind of hard to find. You have to seek it out. So Elliot recommends a movie that we can't see and I recommend a film. You can literally watch instantly right now.

Anyway, I want daily, it's movie. Yeah, sure. It's very good. So I think that's it, guys. Sweet. I think that we've learned a truth. Now it's time to say good, and ugly truth. And that's it.

I wish it was called ugly T-Ruth. There's about a woman named Tammy Ruth, who is really ugly and has to like get a, you know, that's her problem. Okay, take it one step further. The snugly tea Ruth. What about the ugly TR-UTH, Tyrannosaurus Rex-UTH? I don't know what UTH means, that's what the viewer of my A different dimension where earth is Holy This or strikes earth

It's his name Yeah, but they call him earth because he's Well, what's this from the difference? The snugly TR-Euth We're gonna hash out these covered in fur because dinosaurs from that dimension. Yeah, we'll hash out these Pun-related movie pitches off air. But until then, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been steward Wellington.

And I will continue to be Ellie Caelin long after this is over. Okay, so what color of fur would he ask? Brown. Brown? He's like a teddy bear. Oh man, that's like a competition. You know what I'm talking about right then. Sex competitions. Sex linings. I think they're holding those games in Bangkok this year. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Hell yeah. Oh, you slide Fox. Slide like Fox. And Max Mouse. Those two get up into so many scrapes. They certainly do scrape. Mealy puzzles and mazes though, yeah. And find the things. I'm not very good at the find the things,

but I never can find the things. Goal, goal, that's rule one. Yeah. First rule of find things. Just always be finding things. That's actually the ABC's of fine things.