The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode 8 - I Know Who Killed Me

Episode Date: December 20, 2007

Daily Show segment producer and Metro columnist Elliott Kalan joins us, to discuss Lindsay Lohan's tour de force dual performance as a girl and another, slightly sluttier girl, in I Know Who Killed Me.  Meanwhile, Stuart discusses decorating plans for his evidence dungeon, Dan mentions a lost Neil Simon play that should stay lost, and Elliott fills us in on the life and works of Art Bell.0:00 – 0:32 Introduction and theme.0:33 – 36:54 I Know Who Killed Me - just as lurid as the title suggests?  Or lurid-er?36:55 – 40:15 Final judgments.40:16 – 45:13 The sad bastards recommend.45:14 – 48:13 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.A note: we've eliminated the movie synopsis at the beginning of the episode, as we've heard people say that they'd rather just get into the fun stuff right away.  However, if you want a little context for the discussion, we'll still post links to the Wikipedia pages for these films, which tend to have fairly thorough plot summaries.Daily Show segment producer and Metro columnist Elliott Kalan joins us, to discuss Lindsay Lohan's tour de force dual performance as a girl and another, slightly sluttier girl, in I Know Who Killed Me.  Meanwhile, Stuart discusses decorating plans for his evidence dungeon, Dan mentions a lost Neil Simon play that should stay lost, and Elliott fills us in on the life and works of Art Bell.0:00 – 0:32 Introduction and theme.0:33 – 36:54 I Know Who Killed Me - just as lurid as the title suggests?  Or lurid-er?36:55 – 40:15 Final judgments.40:16 – 45:13 The sad bastards recommend.45:14 – 48:13 Podcasty business, goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.A note: we've eliminated the movie synopsis at the beginning of the episode, as we've heard people say that they'd rather just get into the fun stuff right away.  However, if you want a little context for the discussion, we'll still post links to the Wikipedia pages for these films, which tend to have fairly thorough plot summaries.

Just in time for Christmas, it's our Lindsay Lohan is an amputee stripper episode. Wehouse. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Phil in Elliot Kaylen. Yes, Elliot Kaylen by day, a segment producer for the Daily Show and popular Metro columnists, although I guess by day right now, Threider Strike. So by day I am a guitar hero guitarist and we tennis pro and pop your columnist and Metro. If you ever wanted to know what happens at the Daily Show offices during the strike, apparently it's a lot of video games. A lot of video games that watched RollCop and 310 to youma a couple days ago to sweet job But anyway, we didn't watch Robocop or We watched I know who killed me starring Lindsay Lohan and

What do you guys feel is about Lindsay Lohan former America sweetheart Lindsay Lohan? Yeah, she's she's feeling about Lindsay Lohan, former America's sweetheart Lindsay Lohan. Yeah, she's in this movie. I think she plays two characters, or is that spoil too much movie? Well, does she play two characters? Like in the true sense of her character. Two very different personalities. For instance, one kiss is her boyfriend without biting his lip, and one kiss is her boyfriend and bites his lip.

The first thing Aubrey, Aubrey Fleming? Aubrey Fleming, the nice character's name is Aubrey Fleming and the bad girl is named Dakota Moss. I know, now that's good screenwriting, yeah. Yeah, both names are there. Both names that are naturally incurring. Well, Aubrey Fleming, I think we're saying, apparently Lindsey Loans playing sort of an 18th century gat about, sort of a wit. Or a 19th century scientist or Aubrey Fleming. Just definitely cure for cholera, or something like that. Yeah, so one of them is a local school child.

Very talented. A pianist. A pianist and a... That actually comes to Byter in the ask by recall the actual movie. If I remember what happens in the movie, the fact that she's a good-ass pianist and doesn't actually respect her skills and doesn't want to do it anymore, I think ends up getting her shit fucked up and all melted off, right? Or chopped off? Yeah, pretty much, yeah. The lesson of the movie seems to be if you have a gift in music you should go for it Or else you might lose it hand and leg and be premature. That's what you took away from this.

It's kind of what you have to take away from it. Don't hide your light under a bush for me. It's the moral. Since firing tail for talented youngsters everywhere, there's a place for you even if it's buried in a glass coffin. But you know, that's the thing. Aubrey Fleming spends most of the movie buried in a insect glass coffin. But you don't know that until the end. We are, we are, we are to puzzle out this web and decide whether Chinese puzzle box of a film

with more questions than answers. Is Lindsay Lovane actually two characters or does Dakota Moss the stripper are is she actually Aubrey Fleming? What's weird is I think at one point to actually clarify like the FBI agents actually find a story that Aubrey, I keep wanting to say Aubrey because that's an actual name. Yeah.

Aubrey wrote before she was kidnapped about a person named Dakota who's a stripper. But. But there's an actual person named Dakota. But it's established that being twins as it turns out, I don't want to let it give too much away also, they of course have a telepathic connection to each other. Yeah. Now, like my experience with twins is exclusively through like G.I. Joe with Tomax and Zaymar,

where if you punch one, the other one feels that they finish each other's sentences, Ellie, you're saying you actually have a twin sister? I have a twin sister myself. That's just happening. No, it's not. Have you tried punching her and saying whether you get her? I not tried punching her, but I am basically a T-toler.

I don't drink. And she is a heavy drinker. And at one time, I'm sure she would appreciate that you're reviewing this on her podcast. In her college days, she would often get, you know, she would, you know, she'd have to get her stomach pumped or something. She would be sick with drink as they might say in like a jack London novel. And I never felt any ill effects whatsoever. We have no link like that.

So maybe you're just immune to the effects of alcohol. That could be it too. We should test that. Well, that'll be after the podcast. We will feed you, shot up your shot and see what happens. It's a great idea. So they have, they have a telepathic connection, but that's only kind of hinted at through a very bizarre insert of an educational film starring Radio's Art Bell, the Arizona Paranormal Radio host. Yeah, I'm not actually familiar with Art Bell, so can you expound?

Art Bell has been hosting a radio show for decades now. He's either in Arizona or New Mexico, and on the show they talk about the paranormal, government conspiracies, area 51. I actually think he does it from Hawaii now. He got remarried at one point after his family was either kidnapped or murdered, I believe. Whoa! He should make that movie. He's a much more interesting character, but he's a real-life person.

He's a radio show host who does this after hours radio show, where people call in and talk about seeing Sasquatch or being kidnapped by the government. And he shows up in this movie, not referred to by name, and talks about Stigmata. And the film's in... Let's not. I'm saying of stigmata is faulty. Yeah, it's faulty, but first let's point out that this movie is in the grand

tradition of movies where computers are used in that it has no understanding of the way computers are used. Lindsay Lone, I mean it has a little bit better interesting, Lindsay Lone has had this unexplained leading. It has a better understanding. So she types in unexplained bleeding, and she gets articles on stigma, and then she clicks on like a picture of a stigmatic and this video, Art Bell, explaining the movie's idea

of stigmata pops up like in a real internet that pop up would be, I guess, a porn ad, or it has a better understanding of the internet than say the cartoon freak is a way in which you could be sucked into the internet and become a superhero Just a slightly better understanding right but but stigmata also has a robot hand. I forgot to mention that This is an a religious sort of version of Stigmata, because she has unexplained bleeding from her hand,

but it's not sort of, you know, it's not the wounds of Christ. It's the fact that her twin sisters had her hand chopped off. Their theory of Stigmata seems to be that, say the holy monks who had Stigmata must have had identical twins They didn't know about somewhere on earth being poked in the palm at that moment. So what they're saying is possibly by a member of GIGO The Jesus had a twin yes

twin is everyone who's had stigmata through the eight let me let me correct you right there then I'm not actually Christian But Jesus his stigmata was caused by a nail through the palm It's the wounds of fries to got them in a very logical way He was like the entire Easter story You forgot the point of Jesus's life I'm kind of interested that you pronounce it Lindsay low-in and not Lindsay low-hand as I am I say low-hand. Yeah I'm more stylish than you. You are the only one wearing a button down shirt. Yeah well that was for work but Lindsay Lohan I thought you know I was a big fan circa mean girls you know I thought oh this

is a she's a talented young man and she was cute She was cute back then and now she's become all sort of orange. She's gun very oily and greasy Really and some of that I think rubbed off from making out with Bruce Willis, but otherwise who knows drinking and Joe In what country you know she was seen with Bruce Willis in the number of night clubs for a time really making out Yeah, the same like they had assumed they had kind of a land star. I'm strong Ashley Olson relationship was seen with Bruce Willis in the number of nightclubs for a time. Really? Making out. The same way they had a kind of a lands arm strong, actually, all some relation. Why do I find that much more alarming than Jimmy Moore and Aston Kutcher? Because I think it's a double, because Bruce Willis I think is no Jimmy Moore. Let's start with that.

Okay. Do you think you took her home and played a lot of harmonica? Probably. I have to assume that his Bruno personality made an appearance. And in his only Bruce Willis and Bruno are not too different from the all-breed Dakota split that we see here. The good and the bad, they feel. Bruce Willis, his current reaction was based on, I don't know, a number of youings of color

night. Oh, or Hudson Hawk. Yeah, she's like, I want to get a piece of that. Yes. When she was growing up as a child actress, her family had an HBO. She was nine years old, and she stumbled upon color of knife. The minute she saw Bruce Willis' penis,

that's when we walked. I want to buy, I want to piece. I was the awakening. The awakening of Lindsay. Yep. It's like that scene in Labyrinth. You mean the whole movie Labyrinth? No, that scene in labyrinth where she goes to the vascular ball and oh I thought you met the scene every scene when David Bowie's crotch is so prominent. Oh, that's pretty cool to you

That's kind of the princess lay of bikini for girls The best analogy I've heard that's pretty good Just this moment when suddenly as a young child You're like oh sex Oh, there are generals, you know, I don't know for me. It was for me. It was Cheetara from Thundercax That's a good episode where she's naked the whole time. Yeah, they just didn't paint her right Oh my god, and also and I can't and also at the end of just one of the guys

I'm gonna watch that can to watch that after this. I would go with Sheena. I own it. Sheena had a long, a long nude scene, and that was always been played on HBO during the day, because it was inexplicably rated PG, despite being filled with nudity. And my cartoon version, as yours,

would be Scarlett from GIG. For me, it me it's not Scarlet dude it's fucking Baroness. Baroness is the hottest Russian chicken in the world. Wait she was Russian, I can't remember. I mean we've got far field other than the fact that there's not a large amount of sex in this movie but like I was puzzling over whether you would count this as an erotic thriller or something. Well there are many stripping scenes with no stripping as it would be done. Like as I was saying when we were watching the movie I get I don't mean to be a douchebag or anything but I get really upset when I see

Movies with strip club scenes that are like filmed by people who have never clearly been in the strip club because obviously Yeah, they're not sexy or anything, but for one, the stripper should be getting naked. Yeah, and the waitresses should not be naked because what? The stripper wouldn't be getting in my then. Well, the guys would be like, hey, there's a naked person, let's get her money instead. That's the thing that irritates me, and I hope not from like just like a jerk guy sort of perspective. But I find it very strange when a big actress signs onto a role where like the role is clearly defined as like, alright you're a stripper. And then like, alright, okay I'll be a stripper, but I'll be a stripper who constantly wears

a bra on panties. Well that was one of my problems with Sin City with Jessica Alva's character was that there's plenty of nudity in that film and her character of Nancy in the Sin City comics is completely topless almost all the time and is a stripper exact and she's the stripper that everyone in sin in Basin City is so hot for and then she strips and she dances but she's never never takes her clothes off and does it isn't particularly provocative in her dancing right and this isn't this I mean this isn't necessarily like a plea for more nudity although like it is yes yes

yeah I mean I'm not asking Lindsey Lone and I'm not like expecting her to be like flashing me or The fact that the fact that there is a sex scene where she keeps her bra on in the film and she's for half of it For half of it. That's it. But we got side boob after that But she's supposed to be a bad girl and she doesn't you know in the same right well my thing is like of course You know it would be nice to see a more naked attract people in movies like that's part of the reason why you watch movies as opposed to these Walter Math on the Walter Math on Southport for it's terrible but no but if you're gonna make a song king directs that one all this you know James roll Jones fell the

name of the that I've been was the erotic couple who's wearing the color of the color. It's terrible, terrible film. Submitted my heterosexuality. But, no, but it's just like if you're going to make a movie where that's like a major component of it, it just seems very strange. Yes. You know, you can tell, okay, there's a no-no-duty clause in my contract. That's what you think when you watch the film.

Well, they want to create this aura of Sexual perversity, but they're a frit. They won't they can't go that distance. Right and all I'm thinking of is like Why aren't these patrons demanding their money back? They and they seem to be loving the show. That's the thing is they seem to flash dance They can't get enough of this show and they all seem to be like kind of old guys that are all like looking their lips creepily yeah like the mental apparition and high tension like weird as like Udo here in any movie yeah okay fine so they look weirdly you're

yeah so way they had kind of a CD or a B-line. Well, it's not dwell on this too much because I believe that we teased a robot hand. Yes, and we didn't even get to the blue. And the audience, yeah, there's two. I imagine that the audience heard robot hand. Skipping ahead every minute to see if we're talking about a robot hand. Skipping ahead again. Yeah, it's not even really addressed that much in the movie after it happens, but the moment I realized that I really was enjoying the crazy answer to the movie is when Krabman,

the guy who plays Krabman, and my name is Earl, shows up as Lindsay Lohan's doctor. Very briefly. And it stalls a robot hand. Because she's again, missing a hand. He gives her a robot hand that attaches to her stump with a magnet that's the thing there's no visible support mechanism holding it to her arm there's no power source it's like Tesla invented this hand for her and it's been characterized and they give her a lifelike skin to it over it and it's basically just an elbow length rubber

latex blow it's the worst looking prosthetic hand in the world. But it's a robot hand that she later uses to fight, you know, the killer in the movie. Yeah, I guess they figured they were like, all right, the screenwriter was like, okay, there's the sanding of this movie where Lindsay Lohan takes on the bad guy and it's just not going to be plausible that this young woman is taking on this killer unless I give her some sort of weapon like a robot hand. That's what I usually go to. I saw the other way it was the one instance in the thing where he goes what would check off do. You know check off wouldn't give her, you know, if you have a robot hand in the first act it better crush somebody's arm in the third act.

That's what check, well that's what Anton Chekhov would think about this. Yeah, Anton Chekhov's, I know who killed me. Well, things that might be so much better. Although Anton Chekhov's, I know who killed me would be so much better in this, because there's almost no exposition in this film at times. You're really puzzling your way through it, whereas Chekhov's plays are nothing but exposition. So I wish he had been brought into maybe Doctor of the Civil. What I really liked about the robot hand is that so often in movies, specifically like thrillers and stuff, you're confronted with a moment where you're like, where you as

a viewer kind of hold out of the movie because you're like, wait, this is like the modern day, like people should be able to look shit up on the internet or use a cell phone, why aren't they doing that? Well, like, if she just ran around without a hand all the time, be be like where's the robot hand? I saw three people roll out hands on the subway today, where the fuck's the robot hand? I don't believe this for an instance. Yeah. She's gonna have to fight Darth Vader later. Yeah, it's about a robot hand. I don't believe this. And you mentioned the color scheme and I think that you should say a little bit about that. What color scheme? I think that you should say a little bit about that What color scheme I think Ellie. Ellie mentioned it. Well, there's there's a heavy use of the color blue in every single frame of the film

Including the dissolves between scenes and it's almost as if the movie is trying to tell us that blue is a scary color or What would you guys take some on that? I think somebody I think somebody watched the commentary track on the sixth sense and they're like, yeah, the color whatever the fuck indicates he's a ghost So like oh my god if we make everything blue it'll people make people realize that our movies a good movie But they're blue rose. There's blue roses blue glass the killer dresses in blue There's just blue light everywhere Every once in a while the whole screen will just fade to blue. Yeah, it will just fade to blue and then back again.

All the serial killer's weaponry is made out of blue glass. Well, he has a glazure or a glass blowing kit. Yeah, it's not actually, I thought it was a brick of pizza making thing, but it's actually a glass blow. It doesn't, it's one of those things you have to wonder, like, who built this house that has this huge glass-flowing operation in the basement, and how come nobody knows this? Well, again, we come back to the evidence dungeon.

I mean, this is... And everyone knows how much I love an evidence dungeon. And, you know, I don't really think this is a true evidence dungeon, because there's no, like, information as to why he does things. How am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to do this? word collection of like fake limbs and shit? I think it qualifies in that it's another example of a killer in a movie having this

very equipped basement. Like it's basically a laser. You know the basement may have like dirt floors, but it also has, as you say, a big fire for making glass weaponry, and it has a bunch of prosthetic limbs hanging from the ceiling, which by the way, I don't really get... I guess he's been doing this a while, you know, cutting women's limbs off, but then why does he have prosthetic limbs? But they also only mention one other victim. Right. So maybe he's just started out.

I mean, my theory is that it's a they stole it from the movie killer's kiss But there's the climax takes place in a mannequin warehouse. Yeah, I've never seen this movie right. It's not right good Except the ending the killer by the way not giving away anything makes two appearances in the film one early on and then at the end When it's revealed he's the killer right and he is even though he only appears twice if I remember it correctly He was instantly recognizable as the killer. Well by you. In his first appearance, well he's a creepy guy. He called it.

He's really creepy and he has a huge blue ring. And he's like, all right, he looks like he looks like you know a loan shark or somebody who owes money to a loan shark. Right. He's wearing sunglasses indoors. So he's like, negative sun. Well, if you were going to pause the movie 20 minutes in and you're playing like so parlor game where you're just you know you were watching

it with your friends. You know I got together to watch I know who killed me. Say there's 10 people in the room you know just really enjoying the latest Lindsey Lowe and joint. And you pause it. You pause it 20 minutes in and you say yourself okay everyone who's the most alarming character? We've encountered thus far you probably guess who the killer is I say you'd guess either him or Crazy Gardener who disappears from the film entirely entirely. There's a gardener who makes a very blatant sexual come on The Lindsey Lohan that involves taking a shirt off and then fondling a branch I guess who's a scorpion tattoo on his nipple.

Scorpion tattoo. Yeah, that was a strange choice also in the part of either the art director or the actor in real life. You got a scorpion tattoo on his nipple. But it was also fondling the branch. We found out in the commentary. He was giving the branch a hand job. Yeah.

Which I don't know. It doesn't seem like the way to come on to a woman. Frankly, if I'm ever in a situation where I am in like the same area as Lindsay L't know, I just seem like the way to come on to a woman. Frankly, if I'm ever in a situation where I am in the same area as Lindsay Lohan, I will probably do the same thing with the branch and I can lie. Wait, are you gonna say something earlier than interview them?

I was gonna say something about the thing about the evidence dungeon, specifically this one, is that it makes me think like every time I go into my apartment now, I look at my, I'm like, okay, if some victim was in here would they immediately think that I'm a murderer? Like, does it seem like a murderous layer? Should that mannequin be up with her face? Like, he created a collage of like shots taken from across the street of one woman doing various things. Yeah, a lot of pictures that like still like ripped out

of Pornomagzines, of chicks spreading their vaginas with their eyeballs chopped out. Is there, is there a release paper from the asylum with your name on it? That's a perfect memory. That's a perfect memory. Yeah, they totally had that a memory.

Like a son confession note by me. It's a murder checklist. Yeah, a picture of me like a kill with your name unchecked. Wait, you put your own name? I put people who killed it. You're like, oh, I better, I just have to remember never to check back because I've bound by that.

I got some potential weakness in some of my mouth. I got some problems mixed up. I met the name of the victim. List of potential reasons. No list a potential who he is. No, I just self don't let victims see my back. It's bad. I might get in and in. Don't don't leave Goliath's axes lying around where they can chop my arm off easily.

Speaking of glass axes chopping arms off, he was a problem my hand was that Lindsey Lohan. Wait, what problem is this? Lindsey Lohan, okay, she's in the dungeon. The killer sticks his arm around the door and she just found one of his glass acts as he's carelessly left it on the floor, not put her to weigh in his acts. You seem like you would step on a glass act and it would shatter. Yes, it's made of glass.

Even if it's maybe, let's say the web metal-enforced glass that you see in schools, in their doors, because otherwise you might break them as I did once by throwing a lock through it. But even if it was that kind of glass, it would be hard I would think to cut straight through a person's wrist, which Lindsay Lohan manages to do when the hand goes around the door. Keep in mind I assume this is a human with a skeleton. We made a bone and I've never heard of glass cutting through bone. But apparently- We have no reason not to assume that he has bone.

That's just like that. I have no reason to assume that he's not a magic demon or something. Made a play or a golem, you know. Yeah, he's probably golem. His bone may have been weakened from all the dry ice he's been applying to various women. OK, that's what I'm glad he brought that up, Dan.

Because I actually thought that was kind of cool. That weird like torture method of him like, like vice clamping a dry ice to somebody's hand to like freeze the shit out of it. Peeling it off. Yeah, that's pretty gross. That was kind of cool. Yeah, I guess.

It's a little, it's a little saw. I don't, you know, I don't want to see you. Well, I didn't go either to see you. Like, what cool ways are you gonna use a torture this bit? Yeah, just the fact that he didn't go either see like what cool ways he can use a torture this Yeah, just the fact that he didn't like stab her right there friends that way Yeah, just that they put any thought in the way she torches he torches or what kills her I say Yeah, it's too against one dude. All right. I guess I'm wrong man. That's okay. You're not wrong Let's just say that you didn't think through it fully now. I want to talk about

The ending to this movie now. I thought that this movie Which ending? Yeah, the real there's two the theatrical ending. We'll talk about the alternate ending. Okay This movie was released in theaters this is always what I wonder when I watch these Because I watch bad movies at home. The movie was released in theaters, and someone, I'm thinking at least a thousand people, paid anywhere from $850 to $11 to see this film. And how did they feel? Did they want to punch somebody?

Did they break something on the way out? What's more, I think that this movie was supposed to be like Lindsey Lowen's, her maturation. Yeah, this was gonna be her transitional film from your freaky Fridays and your confessions in high school drama queen. Yeah. You know adult pictures. Not adult pictures. That fucking wisdom. We'll hit that

little bit later than the line in her career. But this was her this was her growing up film. I'm gonna show that she was an adult and adult actress. A grown-up actress who could make a suspense thriller or... An adult thriller. Yeah. An adult thriller, right? An adult thriller.

An adult thriller. But it was, you had the same, it felt, even though she was playing a high school student, it still felt like a kid playing an adult. In the same way that, say, Kate Bosworth in Superman Returns feels like a high school student, it still felt like a kid playing an adult. In the same way that say Kate Bosworth in Superman Returns feels like a high school student pretending to be who like dress, it feels like a high school production of Superman for me. Yeah well the Superman, she feels it feels like it's the character from Don't Tell Mound the Baby's Interest Dead who can walk into a fashion company. By the way guys, children's clothing, I have a favorite ask you guys Don't tell mom the babies

Because she's gonna be pissed She already if she knew who killed me She would I will she she does say the phrase. I know who killed me at some point in the movie, which is great Yeah, I think that every movie by the way should end with the title Well you had you had an interesting Yeah, let's suggest it helping we didn't watch the alternate opening by the you had an interesting suggestion for the ultimate. Yeah, let's suggest it helping.

We didn't watch the alternate opening by the way, guys. And the way I'm imagining it is that it opens, you know, it's a black blue screen. Okay, nice one. And you're here. And you're here, you're here a heartbeat on one of those like, what the thing? A EKG.

EKG, I thought that was the thing that goes bus to you, the goes bus to you. I think they call it that also. Okay, so the EKG thing, you know, BB, BB, and then all of a sudden, like, the blue fades to her face in a hospital bed with like tubes and shit stuck in her eyes closed to sleep, like an acoma. Her eyes open all of a sudden, she sits up and she looks right at the camera and goes, I know who killed me. And then the words go across the screen, you got a guitar riff, and then, you know, you got like a cool opening montage of her like running around from like killers

It's awesome. That's why they just straight titles straight titles. Yeah, I know who killed me slip like slam cut Strip like MGM's 360 productions presents or try a star I was trying to start presents. I know who killed me. Don't don't don't Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, were talking about. Well, no, the end, the original ending. So Lindsay Lohan figures out that she is, that her mom's actual child died soon after her mom gave birth and she was purchased from the crack, she's like a crack baby. Yeah. Purchased from some woman who had twins. Oh, no, she was, give it, she $11 was mailed to her every month, I guess, by the father. That was established. Why apparently the price for a baby is $11 a month?

What the fuck? No, she was purchased as a replacement baby. As a replacement baby. Oh, and there was a great story from the mother talking to Lindsey Lohan when I guess she always thought it was her biological daughter I'm about how in the womb she always kicked always kicking and then she says to her you're gonna kick through this problem Just like you kicked back then and this amazing visual image of Lindsey Lohan literally kicking a wall down or something like that Sure with her biotically their biotic like she has a robot leg too by the way

Yeah, but so anyway, she discovers that she was a twin and she realizes okay with her biotonic leg. They're biotically. She has a robot leg too, by the way. Yeah. So anyway, she discovers that she was a twin and she realizes, okay, what's going on is this, my twin sister has been kidnapped and I'm having this like stigmata because I'm experiencing what she's experiencing as she goes to the... And I'm a stripper. Right. I'm a stripper and she's a goody-to-shoes. Right.

So they actually... I like Angel that movie where she's a stripper duck by day school girl behind you. I know. I'm like that one up. She's way, she's a school girl by day and a prostitute by night. Because if she was a prostitute by day and a school girl by night, it's like night school. Yeah, that's just the way strippers are. That's kind of, that's better than so.

In some ways, that's the Maggie Jill and herry Baby, about an ex-con trying to better herself. Yeah, but the point is... Oh, which also, there's a movie by the way that says why there should be less nudity sometimes in films. Because Sherry Baby is a movie that will make you, if you're a heterosexual male or a homosexual woman, ashamed of ever having been aroused by the sight of a naked woman. Right. And the nudity in it is just so depressing.

And so like, is it like in a prison or something? It's just in bad context of like, her like as this down under like X-con, like having sex with guys for jobs and basements, you know. She's all, everyone's all filthy and it just very, very sad. And speaking as a guy who really likes Maggie Jill and Hall, and I think she's a girl who sends, I think she's very attractive, it's very unpleasant.

I'm not sold on this, I'm probably gonna have to watch it. Yes, well, right, Sherry Baby, and then try to masturbate to it and you won't be able to. I bet I could. It's a contest. But anyway, so she russes, she kills the guy, she kills the bad guy, sure, she goes to dig up her sister. With a glass, cuts his hand off with a glass knife, then stabs him in the crotch and the neck with which it was kind of neat.

She digs up her sister in a glass coffin, and by the way, I don't think the movie ever explains the whole glass thing. He just likes glass and the color blue. That's how you need to know. I think that's it, but. They never even explain why he's a killer. He's just a crazy guy.

Well, I like to... They don't need to, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in the real world, do you think, like, I don't know all the crazy killers, explain why they're killers before they get killed, where they go last night to the neck? No, but in the real world, you don't have, say, like, identical twins who are separated in birth, who have telepathic powers and... You bet you're talking on the internet.

Yeah, that's true. And Art Bell did do that movie about it on the internet. Yeah But the point maybe the reason why I'm doing the blue is because Aubrey is looking through her blue blast coffin I still explain whether her boyfriend gives her blue roses or there's a There's an owl has blue balls for most of the movie I we got to end in the movie and I was like okay, what's going on here? I know what's going on? I know killed me What's happening is that None of this is real. This is like Aubrey's fantasy as she lies dying

This is her it's gonna be one of these twists Like oh, this is her mind's way of dealing with the pain and she's gonna Invent this sister is gonna save her and all the stuff and part of the reason I thought this is there There were inexplicably a bunch of owls throughout the movie. I thought, oh, okay, it's a and it occurrence at outpeak bridge This is there like the movie's clumsy attempt at a literary reference But then we find out that worse than that the real alternate ending of the movie is Then we find out that worse than that, the real alternate ending of the movie is mutual ending. Which test audiences did not like, so it was the original ending. Right, the original ending was we discover at the end that this is all a story that Aubrey has been writing because we see that she's a writer.

And at the end, she types the end of it. And it ends, and it doesn't even have her, it ends, it's a long shot of her typing. And you see the closet door behind her swing open by itself and you're like, oh, and the killer jumps out and kills her while she's finishing the story. Now, I guess there's just wind in the room. I like to think that's her alternate identity to Kodama's leaving traveling through the,

the other, I don't know, it's bullshit. But there's just this look on her face like, huh, that was a good story. This is like, according to Wikipedia, Wikipedia says, oh, this alternate ending was cut because test audience has found it too predictable. Rather than this alternate ending was cut because test audience has thought it was a big fuck you.

Yeah, well yeah, that, okay. Before we go quite into the fuck you of it, I'm gonna do something that I did when we were watching Saw 3 and that's, I'm gonna play the role of Aubrey Fleming, okay. I'm trapped in this glass coffin. Which I think you could do better than Loonzy Lohan? I appreciate that, Elliot. Now, okay, I imagine, okay, I'm getting into the character.

My hands been chopped off, my foot's been chopped off. I'm in a weird glass coffin with a weird like 19th century melt made stress on the fucking veil over my face. I've been buried alive, oh shit, I'm gonna die weird weird. Oh man I'm running out of air. Oh wait is that light I see like moonlight? Oh somebody's you know digging me out of my coffin. Oh my god the things open. Somebody let me out with their robot hand. Who is it? Oh my god it's my fucking twin like somebody looks exactly like me that's my twin. How am I gonna respond? I'm gonna smile quietly, and allow her to help me out, and then snowing up to me,

and that's the end of the fucking movie. I would say, because they're telepathically, she has been writing the story of Dakota Moss, as part of her English thing. So maybe she thought her, like it was a, like the Twilight Zone episode where the guy can write something, and it comes to life and he creates his own turns out his wife was in a met figment like she goes oh my character came to life and saved me you know something or maybe she may you know she's lost a lot of oxygen

maybe she thinks she's just dreaming. You're like you're saying that she thinks it's like that that edition of amazing stories where they draw the cartoon real on the plane. Yeah, but yeah, that's true. I, it was strange that she was saved by someone who looks exactly like her and her reaction wasn't, oh, instead it was. Like you were spitting. She used me while I drink this. Like, I guess I was a melkin. Looks good on camera. Instead of her reaction was, oh me while I drink this. I guess I was a melkin. Looks good on camera. Incentive reaction was, oh yeah, thank you. It's good to see you.

I love myself. Myself saves me. But there seems to be this understanding that she had a connection and a new Dakota existed. I didn't have that. You know, I mean, I was understanding now talking to you a bit. Sure. At the time, I was like, this is a shitty movie.

That was the understanding ahead. All right. Well, we're having so much fun that this is gonna end up being one of the longest podcasts ever so I'm gonna Move on. No, let's keep going. I think we can get this podcast going on Let's talk about fuck you endings. What a fucking bullshit. I actually do want to talk about that a little bit Okay, what let's talk about that day. What are your thoughts? Really, if it had ended with the original ending where it's just something that she wrote, I can't imagine anything more frustrating than that. Yes. Being like, okay, this fictional character also wrote a work of fiction, but you had no way of knowing that this was a second layer fiction at any point, so anything could happen and nothing that happened made any difference

It was more of a fuck you ending than if it turned out it was all a dream Yeah, or John Q's X head or all or yeah, or we were saying when we're watching it like the film identity in which it turns out Everything is happening inside John Q's X head because he's create. Oh, actually John Q's X is one of the personalities He's not the after plays the crazy guy What What does that do with that fucking wonky eye, right? Yeah, yeah, he's a ball through it Taylor Vince Thank you my MTV But he that like all these characters are just personality is fighting it out in his head That's kind of a fuck you twist and it's really stupid, but it's much smarter than this would be if it was

like, oh, remember the person we invented? Well, they wrote the story you watched and it never happened. And that's why there's so many of us. She got named. She got named if it matters. Actually, it would be great if it paused on her face and it said, all of the fun and received an A plus for the paper. She went on to Yale University or something like that. It's like the ending of fucking Unbreakable. Yeah, exactly. She's now the famous thriller author, Aubrey Fleming.

Well, it's like one of the things that I remember her from such books is I know who killed me. The person who killed me is you. And I still know who killed me. She later went on to write cool sexy novels under the name of Dakota Mars. Duh, d Duh Duh But it's almost like the ending would have been like her mother walking up to her and being like, oh Aubrey you finished your book? Mom call me by my pen name Mary Higgins Clark Like one of those things right? The twist is that she was a famous person as a child

You know that would have been a more fulfilling ending And stay in hell I'm pretty great Lies of the pulp novelists That would have been a more fulfilling ending Likes of the pulp novelists Yeah, and then and then what her mom's like who's gonna play the actress in your movie and she's like Ashley Judd and more than Freeman's gonna play dad It's gonna be great the next scene is her on the set of kisses Although that's actually a James Patterson book. I think that's where it falls apart It's where I story falls apart.

It has been, I thought it was so much to give a ship. James Patterson, who actually looks a lot like Art Bell, who comes down to it. It comes full circle. It's being in which time to close up the circle that is the segment of the show, with our final judgments on, I know who killed me, and as always, the the categories are is this a

movie that you would not recommend to anyone a movie that you thought was enjoyable because it was bad funny movie or is this a movie that you actually kind of liked so Ellie why don't you go first I would say that this is a bad movie that I would not recommend. Yeah. It's kind of a mess and it's almost like even to make fun of a movie, you kind of have to have some understanding of what's going on. And it takes so long to figure out what's happening in this movie. There's so many characters who appear and then disappear.

The FBI agents who are looking into the crime, the gardener, you know, like the actual killer who disappears into the last scene of the movie, you know, it's like it's coming from someone who saw Southland Tales last week. This is a mess of a movie that doesn't come together. So I would say don't write, although I had fun watching it, but I wouldn't recommend it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to say that this movie title is sucked and then we should ever have to see it. There's not nearly enough nudity to make this movie worthwhile Although the fact that a killer runs around with fucking blue glass weapon actually makes it kind of interesting I'm actually surprised because I I think that this movie is a good bad movie like it is so what is this a one two or three?

Which one is this this is a number two?? Okay cuz I as a number two. All right He's a shit Anyway, you were saying most the most childish joke in a long stream my childish jokes on the floor I if I had ended it with a fart noise then it would be the most childish joke no cuz it's like it really like it is so strange it's like, it really, it is so strange. It's like a junior version of blue velvet or something. It is like someone saw a bunch of David Lynch movies and it's like, I'm gonna make one with Lindsay Lohan

and it's gonna be kind of like a Lindsay Lohan movie. But it's also gonna have this, like, the weird ass, just, you know know disjointed quality I mean not good like a lunch film, but if seeing a sort of junior varsity David Lynch movie with Lindsey Lohan sounds I'm using to you. I would say go watch this move It almost feels like a bad Dario Argento movie at times. Yeah, very bold colors and the plot makes no sense So like a normal derogate? Yes, like all of the different things.

If it was a derogate of movie, I would not be recommending to anyone. I find his popularity inexplicable. But this was one of those confusing, poorly explained movies that if it was in French or Italian, I feel like people would be like, oh, this is an intriguing and nigg-b-a film. When really it's just bad screenwriting. Look at all that blue. Yeah, this blue is a stat. Ooh, it's so- The colors are all rich.

Rich colors. Can't stop me liking movies. Oh, the colors. I'm sure you think. It's been, you know, characters appear and leave as if in some sort of phantasmagore dream. A stream of consciousness thriller, you know, I kind of think. But it's just bad. It wasn't another language that might have been hidden.

Might have saved it, yeah. All right, so two total non-recommendations and one qualified bad movie recommendation. So let's move on to actual recommendations to prove that we're not faster to confine no joy in life at all. Are there any movies that we want to recommend to people? You're gonna raise your hands maybe. I mean, should we all recommend one or anyone else? That's probably the best. Okay, yeah. I went first last time, so I probably shouldn't go. Okay, I'll actually take I'm gonna take the bowl by the horns because I actually think I have a recommendation. Actually, it's only kind of recommendation, but it was pretty good. I saw Murder Party recently, which I think is filmed in New York or Brooklyn or something.

Not a lot of movies are filmed in New York or Brooklyn so that's kind of a rare thing. Don't be an asshole. I'm going to least set movies, set cities in the world anyway. I was talking. Do you want to finish my segment? Basically it's about a guy who happens, you know, he manages to find this Halloween party invitation and he's this totally lonely guy.

So, and he has nothing to do on Halloween, so he ends up going to this party and it turns out to be a party thrown by a bunch of art students who invited random people to this party so that they can murder them and turn them into like an art piece. So it's kind of like a weird, like, I don't know,

Slash movie meets the breakfast club or something. And if anything, it's worth watching because of this awesome cardboard night costume this guy makes that's really hilarious and cool. So murder party, it's at least worth watching. It's pretty gory. I'll recommend I saw the bedroom window, which is one of Curtis Hanson's earliest directorial one of his earliest films as a director he also wrote it I think it's an adaptation of a book not sure about that but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say it might be the best Steve Gutenberg film I know there's a lot of accommodation for that I I'm gonna argue. What's that? Don't tell her it's me. AKA boyfriend school. Yeah, that movie rocks. I'm gonna say Susan Roxanne.

It was a dog good love of a speaker. Susan Roxanne doesn't have a Steve Gutenberg pertaining to be a New Zealand Lothario low omerenga With Shelley long to an ancient Amic and cowboy Auckland. That is Jamie Gertz. That is a pretty good movie If an it fuck it if someone wants to see a bad movie that they'll have a A bunch on watching go out and watch don't tell her it's me but But if you want to see a movie that's actually kind of good that that starts Steve Gutenberg. Like maybe like 1981 when they thought that Steve Gutenberg and Isabel Huppert would be a believable pair. It's a movie about you know a guy like a guy's having an affair with his boss's wife and you know like they they just had sex and Steve Goonberg's out of the room

and the woman hears another woman being assaulted downstairs. Elizabeth and the Governing is getting attacked and the killer gets frightened away but he's witnessed by his beloved Huppert but because they're having an affair she doesn't want to come forward and point the finger at the actual killer. So Steve Gutenberg's character says, no, it's all right, I will pretend to be the eyewitness. I will take your information and I'll take it to the police.

And predictably, everything goes wrong in a very hitch-cocky and thriller fashion. And, you know, for a movie, again, Starks Steve Gutenberg, a nice, forgotten thriller of the early 80s. I don't know when I'll be back, so if I can make two quick recommendations, these are both for all. Older movies. One is the Japanese horror film Go K, Blobb from Hell. I don't know if anyone's seen, but it's about a plane crash and it turns out that there's

an alien blob that is taking over people's bodies and turning them into vampire type things. And it has possibly the bleakest ending in that I may have ever seen in a movie. And there are some great scenes where people's heads crack open and the blob crawls out. But it's pretty good. And the other one is a classier movie from the 30s is I'm a fugitive from a chain gang with Paul Muni, which I watched recently for the first time, and which is a really gritty like kind of tense frightening movie at times. And there's a scene where he, when he escapes from the chain gang and becomes the titular fugitive, it's a genuinely like super

tense scene where he's running away from these guards and you're like, are you ever gonna catch? You're like, what do you do it? That kind of a scene. So, it does, the plot does hinge on him making possibly the dumbest choice

that the character could ever make though, which is to, I'll give it away, I'll give it away. To trust the, I think Georgia, Georgia penal system that they'll keep their word and let them out after 90 days if he returns to the chain gang, which of course, once he does, they refuse to do.

So, that's a pretty good movie. It's pretty good. So everyone, everyone being the two of you and me, sure, we have to get time tonight. We have some laughs, but everything needs to come to an end. We don't really know what movie we're gonna do next, I guess. Or when it's gonna come out, because I think this is gonna come out and then there's gonna be the holidays. Oh yeah.

So special holiday edition. Well, maybe the new year before there's a new episode. I mean, there probably will be the new year before there's new episode. There may only be one in January. I'm not sure how that's gonna work out. However, I want to remind everyone, as always, that the website is the FlophousePodcast.blogspot.com. The email address is the FlophousePodcast at gmail.com. So if you want to check out show notes or write us a review which helps us get new listeners

or just write us, that's how you do it. Pretty nerdy. It's a little good shit. So, I guess we got to get to your flop house podcast because if not, I think it's a porno site. Yeah, if you just do the flop house dot blog.com. It's like this weird half blog, half like I'm going to direct you to porno site. It sounds like such a disappointing name for a Pornosite.

Yeah. The most flacidist porn on the web, the flop house. The drunkest girls you can imagine lying on dirty cats. These guys just can't get it up, the flop house. No. Well, that was our original slogan. So, as always we're sort of peering out with a whimper. So, let's move. Supposedly should sign off, huh? Yeah, I don't want to say that. You have rolled me

really, really bad. Alright, well we may see that you would do, we can do a special in theaters edition. Flops out in the aisles. Flops out in theaters. Oh All right Check out this one with the big idea. I don't know I guess I'll put the extra money into actually Singing bad movie and the field all even buy the tickets. Oh cuz that's all I want to see that you're bucks All right, well in that case, maybe we'll talk about that next time and I'll sign off my name is Dan McCoy I'm Stuart Willington. I'll get off my name is Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. Elliot Kaylen. Good night. Oh, bye. Okay, good one. They're gone, right? Okay, good. I fucking hated those guys.

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