The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #80 - The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Episode Date: May 7, 20110:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 5:56 - The usual gang takes a few moments to reacquaint themselves, after a month of guest hosts, and begin unintentionally insulting everyone.5:57 - 35:45 ...- If you're gonna make a not-so-great movie, do everyone a favor and stick Nicholas Cage and Alfred Molina in it.35:45 - 39:00 - Final judgments.48:31 - 55:35 - Recommendations are BUMPED for our longest Movie Mailbag yet.55:36 - 57:42 The final letter segues into thrilling news of our first LIVE FLOP HOUSE EVENT!57:43 - 59:08 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
In this episode we return to the Nicholas Cage well that I'm Dan McCoy, I'm Stuart Wellington.
I'm Elliot Kaelin.
Hey all three of us are here.
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba!
The first time in over a month.
It's a 5-tonle.
Yeah.
That's true.
It's been a while.
It's true.
How did you feel about the fact that we
needed to get a big TV star in here to fill the void that you leave when you can't be
on the show?
Keep in mind that when I left, my void was filled by Andy Rocco.
Well, wow.
Who's a fan of the show?
Who's a very funny person.
Who's a very funny, very good person, but not a TV star yet.
Yeah.
Keep reaching for those stars, Andy.
I think you're going to get a super.
I was still expecting somebody to call me up and tell me
that I'm kicked off the podcast.
Yeah.
I had suicide, we also met in place all laid out. We can't
be quite we do exactly what method I was very expensive. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
catering alone was higher than what Dan usually pays for anything. Yeah, you were the popcorn that I gave you
tonight. There was a pretty fancy spread tonight. Mm-hmm. He used all those spices on the popcorn. I did put some extra spice on it.
It was a little too flavorful for me. I got to admit. Yeah. Sure. One thing that the audience would say about you should know is that Elliott does not like flavor.
I don't blend it up. Please. That's what I say. Anything that you might find on the buffet at an old
folks home, Elliott would love. It's one of many ways I fit the stereotype of white guy. Yeah. I want to apologize to Andy Rocco. I think he did a great job and he was really funny. Yeah. So, do you want to insult any more of our fans or should we go into the movie?
I'm up and let's go. I didn't inadvertently insult that freelancer for the AV club that one time.
I didn't mean to. And now... Why would you say? I don't know know I just made a joke about him being a freelancer as opposed to a full-answer full-answer yeah a full-answer don't
even know words and now we're never we're never gonna get reviewed by the the
AV Club is a podcast do they ever review podcasts yeah a weekly podcast
column now and oh then they should review us yeah well well you fucked that up I
did yeah would have dropped the ball for all of us.
Yeah, now we'll never be famous.
Now we'll never replace those idiots on the eBirt show.
Sure.
No right being on television.
I find it odd that you, Elliott,
when the only one with a legitimate show
is job is when angry that we will never be famous.
This was going to be the rocket I rode to the moon.
Yeah.
By moon, I mean Hollywood.
I was gonna ride clutching his coattails the whole way.
Yeah, man.
We had big plans.
Rocket moon coattail plans.
I know where I am in the scenario,
and it's on the earth looking up at you
with a big telescope.
Yep.
We're waving down at you.
I mean, sure.
We don't forget the moon.
You're the first one who gets the,
you know, the hand pistol motion target of that. first one who gets the you know the hand pistol motion
Targeted at you like and when we went onward for for best potty and
POD not like potty like
And we also just completely different when we win the award for best potty at the toilet designers convention
We're gonna say and all the people who helped us get here and that's you
So I think you're gonna're turned in your body award.
You'll have forgotten your name by then.
Okay.
You got to get back to work on that time.
I'm going to sign.
Yeah.
Brandon McCoy.
Yes.
I'm named a scotch Irishman.
That guy.
He owned a lot of microphones.
That's what recommended him.
Anyway. Movies, huh? Sure. Well, we're
done insulting our listeners. Yeah. Is this a bit of a... Not each other, guys. Is this
like a joke or what do we do in your guys? Well, this is kind of like a comedy bit or...
Let me explain the premise of the podcast. What we do, we gather together as friends Watch a movie one that we presume might be a bad movie. Okay, but then afterwards we fire up the old podcast machine
Okay, and we record a conversation about it. Do the old talk a talk
Okay, not a walk a talk because we can't move the table fast enough. Let's do that sometime
Let's do a podcast where we do you have lovelier mics that we can clip on.
Where are we going to like rock around the neighborhood?
Yeah, we'll take a walk around the neighborhood.
Yeah, interview people about the movie
that we just watched.
That you haven't seen.
Excuse me.
There reminds me of a time I was,
I was, well, we'll get to the movie eventually.
Sure.
It reminds me of a time Danielle and I
before we were married, we're leaving a dinner
and we were just walking down the street in Midtown.
It was at night, so there's no no one around and this woman with a microphone and one guy with a TV camera came up and she said
Excuse me. What do you think about the new do me do you and we were like we don't know what you're talking about
We literally don't know what the words you're saying me. That's the sort of Dr. Doolittle thing
Apparently it's some sort of life philosophy. Oh, so it's like a sex act.
It does.
But assuming most things that people ask me, you see.
I assume this woman is on public access television.
She's probably asking about sex, but I don't know.
But she wasn't.
Like if you don't know that she gets off, she tends to be a news woman.
And she asks people about sex.
Yeah, I mean, if you don't know the sex slang, you probably don't have an opinion on it, right?
I have to assume so yeah. Yeah
So we watched the movies what you're saying. So that was my version of a dull story. Yeah, that's the segue into
Sorcerer's apprentice the Sorcerer's apprentice the movie based on a thing
this is put Nicholas Cage in
I think we've seen at least three. I didn't I missed one of them. I can't
imagine that they're more. Oh no, well there's there was next. There was the one where he
with the prophecy and the A.L. knowing. Knowing there was a Bangkok dangerous. Sure. Next
was so good. There was this one that's four right there. Yeah. And I think that's not all
of the Nicholas cages we've seen. Right in, because we're too lazy to go back into our archives and just look at the lists of back
and the stacks.
But yeah, I think this makes Nick Cage our flop star.
Yeah.
And he congratulations, Nicholas Cage.
I would say he kind of brought it tonight.
Kind of.
He half brought it.
There were moments where he is great, and there are many
moments where he is.
I mean, he brought it more than in Bangkok dangerous.
Oh, yeah, certainly.
He did not bring it on all or nothing, but he brought it on summer or nothing, probably.
Yeah?
No, it's serious dubious.
Well, I'm just trying to imagine a scale.
Shall we explain what this movie is about?
Sure, why not?
Sorcerer's apprentice comes from the same well of Disney-owned properties
that brought us Pirates the Caribbean, Monted Mansion, and the upcoming movie where all the
rides that aren't big enough to get their own movie come to life all at once, which
they've announced, which I assume means like Kitchen Cabaret, Safari Jungle Ride, probably
like Carousel of Progress, Thunder Mountain Railroad, you know, 20,000 leagues under the sea,
which I guess is based on a movie in a book. Yeah. Now, Space Mountain getting its own movie,
it seems like Space Mountain. I would hope so, but there's a lot of, the weird thing is,
there's a lot of movie set in space, so that's not enough of a concept. Now,
we've never made a mountain climbing movie in space. So... So I guess... The Matterhorn Mountain.
This is going to be one.
We got to make it clear though that we're talking about Disney World or Disneyland rides,
and this is not based on that.
It's based on...
Well, I mean, it's Disney properties, as I said.
Well, I mean, we all remember the Sorcerer's Apprentice segment.
What about the Country Bears?
They may have a movie already.
OK, the story of source of apprentice.
And that's pretty good.
Yes, that's true.
But Disney, obviously, but Disney has it's, well,
that's it does predate it.
But we all remember the segment in Fantasia with Mickey Mouse.
He's a source of apprentice.
He wants the rooms to do his work for him.
Michael Mouse.
They do.
Michael J. Mouse.
This is full name.
Shorten to Mickey. Yep. I'll read it up a little bit later. His name is actually, Nicklin Mouse. Michael J. Mouse. This is full name. Shorten to Mickey. Yeah, I read it up a little bit later.
His name is actually, Nicklin Mouse.
Yep.
He makes the rooms do his bidding, but they do it too well, and they flood the place, and
Mickey is rewarded with a swift kick in the rear by the sorcerer.
I mean, I wouldn't say that they did it too well.
I think they're just a little too enthusiastic.
They're single-minded, the brums.
Okay. Yeah. They don't know when to quit.
They will not let getting chopped up, keep them.
They're appointed right.
They regenerate like starfish.
Yeah.
Well, that anyway, that's not what this movie's about.
No, that's one scene in the film that's thrown in literally
to tie the property to that other property.
Variable regulatory.
But here's the story.
We start off roughly five to 600 years ago,
sometime in the Middle Ages-y type period.
And in about 67 seconds, we are told that
Nicholas Cage is a wizard, Merlin is there,
Morgan Lafay is trying to kill Merlin.
She does, Nicholas Cage tries to stop her.
Now these are all figures, we will, of, I'll remember from the more to Arthur.
Yes.
Oh, Nicholas Cage's name is Baltazar Blake and his enemy who used to be his best friend
is Alfred Molina, aka Horvath.
And this is all told to us by the Dolsett tones of Ian McShane.
Ian McShane, my old pal, who talks really fast while these things happen and it feels
like they're recapping season one of the Sorcerer's Apprentice before the season two, season
premiere.
So, Horev, and keep in mind, everything I'm telling you at the moment is about two minutes
of screen time.
I'm imagining season one of the Sorcerer's Apprentice where Donald top of just firing sources left. I'd like to spells good
with levitation but I'm sorry you've fired. Please pack up your hat with
stars and moons on it and go. But so okay, Alfred Milena's bad Morgan LaFay is
bad. Nicholas K, they kill Merlin. Nicholas Cage manages to trap Morgan LaFay
in his girlfriend's body and then trap the girlfriend.
Which is of course, is what you want to do.
Yes, and the girlfriend is Monica Belucci, so you know, nice real estate.
They manage just to trap the double woman into a Russian stacking doll and also traps Alfred Malina in a Russian stacking doll.
Merlin dies and gives him a little dragon figurine that looks like one of those
pewter things you buy at the mall. Yeah. And says this will help you.
In the store that I'll also sell swords and like skulls with gems in the eyes.
Yeah. And t-shirts with the Travis Bickelon.
Sure.
And says Merlin was the only one who could kill Morgan Lafei.
But someday there will be another super powerful wizard
the prime merlinian
who will have the power to kill morgan lafay
this dragon figurine will help him find it
and so for the next
the couple of centuries nicklaus cage again this is all the first couple
of the three minutes of the next couple hundred years nicklaus cage wanders the world
testing young magical
children. None of them are the prime Berlin. Yeah, the test is him letting them hold this
little stupid dragon figure in and when it doesn't work, he shakes his head and walks away.
And just walks away. In his different costume each time. Okay, flash forward to the year 2001,
pre-September 11th, I assume, because everyone still has that glow of optimism. Yeah, absolutely. We remember how I do and
There's a kid who
Is just like a nerdy
Just a terrible actor
He's not as bad as the kid in less air better. No, but
You're pointing out that he was cast basically because he had the same
hair as Jay Barracks. That was me on the observer one this time. Yeah. I know it's easy to get
us confused. I think this was the point the movie where Dan had gotten frustrated and decided to
leave the movie. There were multiple, multiple points in the movie that for that. Anyway, so this
kid is a little nerdy, but he's artistic. And he catches artistic.
Artistic. Okay. And he catches the odd, but we're autistic maybe. I mean, he could be.
He does pee his pants. Yes. Well, we'll get we're getting that. He loves Tesla coils. Catch
it not yet. That's later in his life. He catches the eye of a of a classmate who's a girl.
Gives her a note that says, will you be my friend or girlfriend? Those are the two choices
she can check off one.
None of the above should have been provided as option.
Yeah, but in a much smaller box to check.
Yeah, just to give her the illusion of free will.
Sure.
And...
Well, that's what he knows the secret.
He's playing a mind game on it.
That's true.
He's like a polster.
A modern day polster.
It's a push pull.
A push me pull, yeah. Dr. Do Little. Any who comes back around.
She marks it off, but then they're on a trip to see the Statue of Liberty. She marks it off, but then the wind takes the paper out of the air.
He chases it dead or magic might be magic because it leads him to a dusty old curiosity shop known as the Arcana Cabana.
Even though it is not a Cabana, not a tropical place.
Clearly, partly financed by some of the Higars.
You see the Higars Magic Shop.
You get a free Pena Claude with every Magic person.
The Cabo Wabo Arcana Cabana.
So he enters the Arcana Cabana and finds Nicholas Cage, who is in his long,
scraggly hair best, who tells him basically, this is a magic shop, here hold this
dragon figurine, the dragon figurine turns into a ring, meaning that he is the
prime merlinian. Here I'm gonna teach you to be a sorcerer, but don't touch
anything. Of course the kid touches the first thing he sees, which is the stacking
doll that has Alfred Molina trapped in it.
He breaks it open, Alfred Molina emerges from a cloud of cockroaches, and then there's
a magic battle with Nicholas Cage, Alfred Molina.
It's very exciting.
Oh, it's so exciting.
There's a lot of fireballs thrown around and force bolts.
A lot of the magic just involves things being like energy bolts being thrown at each other. It's not really that
Imaginative. Yeah, there's one point where Alfred Molina uses magic to make a sword like float in the air and fight
Yeah, it's like that's most of the time it's literally just throwing Hadoo Kim's at each other. Yeah
Yeah, and Miles will be fighting with like a couple of tasers. Yeah, yeah, basically or just like telekinesis
Yeah, any who or Kung Fu or something.
Nicholas Cage and Alfred Molina, the fire starts. And Nicholas Cage and Alfred Molina
get trapped inside of a vase that has magical properties to contain someone for 10 years.
The kid is like, oh my god, this is crazy. Runs out of the store. All his classmates
and his teacher are there. He's like, oh, don't go in there. It's full of fire and crazy
magicians. She wants to know where they were all right outside the door because he
like runs for a couple of months. Yeah, they shouldn't have been able to find him.
Unless maybe they put a tracking. They were going to have lunch at the
Havana, Kavanaugh, or whatever. The Havana, or Kavanaugh, it's the Kavanaugh district.
Lowerman Hatton's Kavanaugh district. So many Kavana many bananas down there. And there was a try to get
one of the non-magical bananas. Yes. They took a wrong turn. Oh, what's up. Took a wrong turn at
Cabana Curkey. Terrible. Thank you for that. You're setting the bar low on the Cabana
casket. Considering it's early birthday for us. It's like genuinely awful.
Anyway, he it turns out there's no fighting inside no fire. He looks like a doof and he spilled a vase Well, water on himself so it looks like he wet himself everybody laughs
You're going to so much detail for this movie. Well, because I'm gonna I'm gonna be general coming up
Okay, ten years later that kid is now what's the name, Jay, bridge, Barrish, shell,
Jay Barrish,
shell,
he of the irritating voice.
And he's in college at NYU, my alma mater, and he is working on Tesla
coils. He's a physicist.
He bumps into the girl that he had a crush on when he was eight years old.
Because, you know, I mean, like we're all either married or you know,
suicide engaged. Obviously we're all, yeah all with the woman that we had a crush on
when we were in elementary school.
Yeah, yeah, that's the way it works.
Yeah, he's the way it works.
I don't even remember who I had a crush on
in elementary school.
If I met her, it's not like what I'd be like,
oh my God, I used to have such a crush on you.
I would literally not remember who she was probably.
Yeah.
I mean, Stuart's different.
He's a Casanova, so.
Yeah, I don't really remember anything past a couple of days ago.
But
Basically all the things you think are gonna happen happen
Nicholas Cage and Alfred Molina get out of that vase because it's 10 years later
Alfred Molina's on the loose trying to get the doll that has his girlfriend in it more than La Faye
Nicholas Cage finds Jay Barishel
and it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's more that I could go into but it's kind of it's basically you can imagine this movie in your head basically. Here's one
thing that like off the top of my head from what you just oh and also he
charms the girl by setting his Tesla coils to play the song using electrical
electrical impulse that she played on her NYU radio show. Yes. Is that what
you're gonna say? No I was gonna say that was his favorite part I think. Yeah and
there's a giant steel. He won cool part is Nicholas Cage turns one of the gargoyles at the Chrysler building into a giant steel bird that he can ride around
No, what I looks like the cover of the screaming for vengeance help it seems like
For Judas Priest when you hear this concept is for clear about currently on their farewell tour. Oh God
God say I'm gonna punch you in the ear. Okay. No
a little tour. Oh god, I forgot to say, I'm gonna punch you in the ear. Okay. No, like when, based on what Elliott says, like the listener at home was thinking, Oh, I know what
the conflict in this movie is. They're not like the conflict, but like one of the hooks
in the movie is going to be, Oh, Nicholas Cage should have been spending the last 15 years
training this kid to, you know, like be the best wizard in the world so he can take down
Morgan Lafay when she comes back. And that's going to be a big problem. Like, oh, he's
lost so much time. No, you know, Nicholas Cage apparently is able to teach him magic
in basically an afternoon. And then everything's fine.
It's like if there's a firm. Yeah, there's no real sense of barely even a training montage.
Yeah. It's like if the scene in Star Wars
where Luke had the blast shields down on his helmet and that little ball kept
happening with lasers, if he went like, ah, ah, I can't do this. Cut away to the
Empire doing something, cut back. It's Luke from a turn of the Jedi and it's
blackout that with his own lightsaber that he made. It wrote Yoda out.
Except it's like Jay bear shell is sometimes really good at magic and sometimes really bad as the plot needs him to be. And then at the
anti-s. Confidence needs him to be. Oh God. You're right actually.
Because your ability at magic is directly related to how confident you are.
You just got to believe in yourself. It's just like being a green lantern.
I mean he does have a magic ring. Doesn't the green lantern have one of those?
That's true, yeah.
So parallels.
And it's the kind of movie where there are two sorcerers, so they have a car chase.
You have seen one of the characters riding a giant steel bird.
So let's have them ride cars around.
And when they decide that, oh wait, like we need to up the ante in this car chase, they
simply make their cars into faster and nicer cars.
Not like turning your car into like a flying dinosaur monster.
No, they do briefly go into a mirror world, which where the yachts are.
Like super soda on.
Like super soda on.
Yeah, wait, what?
Super soda on it.
And then moving mirrors. And southern and the movie mirrors.
And then in the movie he goes into a mirror world.
What?
What are you talking about?
No, no, you get you get trapped in the mirror world for real.
Yeah.
That's not a good idea.
I got it.
That was a classic clubhouse callback, but they do go.
That was for you, Ellie.
By the way, I appreciate it.
That then they go into, uh, uh, Ellie. By the way, I appreciate that. Then they go into
into the mirror world that they escape very easily. That's one of two mirror like magic gags that are done are shot completely wrong. Like shot in such a way that you don't really realize
that they're in a mirror and not in the real world. Yeah, there's a scene earlier where Alfred
Melina, Nicholas Cage traps him in a bathroom mirror and he tells he gives he's trying to get out so he talks to someone just a regular
passerby who is in the bathroom and it's not shot so that you like the way it's shot,
you don't get the effect of Alfred Molina not being in the room that is reflected in the
mirror.
Yeah, like the gag should be like, oh Alfred Molina is only on one side of the mirror. Yeah, like the gag should be like, Oh, Alfred Malena is only on one side of the mirror. Well, this other guy is on both sides, like you are when you're standing in front of a mirror.
And yeah, it shot like full frame on this mirror. We really got this, give you get this whole mirror in the
shot. People know where Alfred Malena is. Yeah. Alfred Malena, who also, by the way, is a, he's dressed
all through the movie in like a fur coat and with a cane
Which I guess is supposed to be like you know like the last time he was out in the world was like the 20s
Yeah, that's funny. He was trapped in this
Nesting doll or whatever I think that's kind of what that's the assumption I think but he just looks sort of like a pin
He was oh see I thought he was like he's like a comical Russian in a 30s movie. Yeah
That's true could be that
It's a I mean I think he looks like a good bad guy like a bad wizard. Yeah, and he's and he doesn't do bad in it
He and Nicholas Cage at when they're trying they bring a lot to their characters
Which is good because they have no characters. Yeah, they don't have a if it wasn't for that like their performances
Their characters would be even more forgettable than. Yeah. No, it feels like the screenplay
with like, huh, there are no characters in this screenplay. Let's get a couple of wacky actors.
Who do we have on our on our wacky actor, Rolladex? Who can really. Wacters. You can really
whack this up. I mean, there are the thing is they do the mean, there are a couple things I actually like about this movie.
And one of them is that it's set in New York and it looks like New York.
They shot a lot of the exteriors in New York.
It looked like at least if they green screens them in, they used real exteriors and like,
there's a scene in Chinatown.
So they do like a Chinese dragon parade scene where it turns into a real dragon.
And they're an NYU and like they have an NYU radio
station, which NYU actually has, but not in the building that they show it in or unlike,
you know, the bird from the Chrysler building comes as bird at the end. Nicholas Cage is
being attacked by the Wall Street Bowl statue that's chasing him. Like they do a good job
of actually making use of the city, the movie is set in as opposed to just like what kind
of like this with the spider in movies. Yeah, yeah yeah exactly or or like rumble in the Bronx.
It really gives you a real flavor.
It really a real sense of New York.
There's snow-capped mountains in the background right over the Bronx.
New York golf courses and all the all the the gangs of multi-effic gangs writing around
and dune buggies and streets.
I love that that that was very obviously not called rumbling the Bronx when it was released
in China.
It must have been something, but like that they were like the Bronx sounds like a tough
place.
Yeah.
And maybe it was called that in China and they just didn't care, you know.
Yeah, well I'm sure that's what their perception of the Bronx is.
It's this hellscape of gang violence and mountains.
Yeah.
Beautiful mountains. But, beautiful mountains.
But there are a lot of movies that this is a fairly generic movie in a lot of ways,
but at least they make use of the setting in ways that are liked.
Okay.
I mean, also, they're not entirely in that the J. Bear show's characters obviously from
the New York area since he was there as a kid, but at one point soda gets knocked over
and he goes, oh, there's pop all over the floor. No New Yorker says
pop. Yeah. No one in this part of the country says pop. We say soda. Good job, sorcerers
apprentice. Don't wait to get that wrong. Only the average viewer will be immediately distracted
by the bulldog urinating on things right after we got that was in that scene. Next
J. Bearer Shell is going to say he's got to get in line for something. Am I right, guys?
We say waiting online in this city.
But there's Jay Bear Shell also has a pet bulldog who appears and disappears throughout
the film, basically as if the continuity girl just didn't want to bother with remembering
if the bulldog was in a scene or not.
Maybe it's magic.
Never thought about that.
That's possible.
Maybe it's a wizard.
Sure.
Probably saving that for the sequel.
Yeah, wizard dog.
Well, that source was apprentice too, which is a wizard.
Wizard of lamp.
It's like how in that Superman movie they had a baby Superman.
Yeah, that's right.
Superman returns you mean.
Yeah, yeah.
He's not a baby.
He's like 60 years old.
I mean, he's a five years old.
He's a baby Superman. That's the movie where Superman's been away for
five years. The kid is about five years old and Lowe's Lane's fiance thinks it's
his kid. So did she have sex with him and Superman on the same night?
Probably. Same time actually. And Kate Bosworth is only like 23. So how five
years ago she would have been in college.
Mm-hmm.
Well, that says a lot about Superman.
It does, yeah.
I don't know what that means.
It's...
I mean, any who...
So, it's just a red disc.
So, he likes co-eds with a few different color eyes.
Yeah.
We call them codes.
Mm-hmm.
Uh-hmm.
Uh-hmm.
Uh-hmm.
Uh-hmm.
Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm.ous henchman that is like a Chris Angel type. Yeah. Right.
Like, you got to freak your mind. Yes.
Yeah. Stake stone. It's going to freak it good.
Similar to, but he's yet another like character that has no defining traits other than the eye.
His defining trait is basically that he's an Irish. He's English and he has spiky hair and that's about it.
But I mean for a movie that is a movie that's already too long and stuff with too much garbage,
they seem to make no effort to actually like, they're stuffing it full of all these ideas, but don't actually feel like defining any of them. Yeah, they don't need to pay any of them.
They like, they have a...
They have a lot of clever ideas in this movie and then they just feel like okay
Well, I can't put a clever idea. That's all the work I need to do on that. Yeah, like the other leather idea
I mean save some for the sequel. You know what I mean guys those are printers to wizard dog
The they have in their other stacking dolls that have other bad wizards trapped in them that Nicholas Cage has dropped trapped
With the years really the only two other ones, but like that's a neat idea that there are these other wizards from other time periods
that they'll also have to fight.
And then he, like, the idea that he has to trap them to me makes it more interesting
that like, he didn't, he couldn't kill them.
They're too powerful to kill.
They're too powerful to kill.
Yeah, that's more interesting than just like, well, than what they do with it.
Which is that those wizards will appear, maybe fight, one of them fights them and the other one doesn't and then it just gets killed
The first one is like a Chinese wizard from a
Centuries ago which means that he just looks like a story to pull kind of like
Chinese martial arts figure. Yeah, and then the second one is I think it's she's supposed to be probably like a Salem
Witch era which she's dressed like a pilgrim. And all she does is trick
the girlfriend of Jay Barishel and then they're not girlfriend boyfriend yet. They're not going
to check the romantic interest and then Alfred Molina kills her kills the pilgrim to steal her life
energy. Yeah, she does like she's not she's barely in it. Yeah, she shows up. She kind of shows up to be like almost
My character in a Japanese horror film like oh here's like a creepy young salad face child
And I'm just gonna stand here for a moment and creep you out and then she's gone. Yeah, bye. There's I didn't mention I
Feel it. So long. I'm gonna leave I guess
Do you guys need me? I'm gonna be at the arcana cabana. I'll tell a few margaritas
Tell us down if you're magic margaritas and
Sorcerers on the beach. I'll just have a couple those before six the magic margaritas only four bucks
So you want to come for magic bucks?
Slow-diff in the normal bucks think I'll have us here of the spell that cast me
Mm-hmm and so forth wizard drinking jokes
But there's either there's also the subplot where Jay bear shells
Girlfriend to be spoiler alert. They they may they become boyfriend girlfriend at the end. Yeah, she checks checks the girlfriend box
Yeah, she's afraid of heights
But okay, so that's a character trait. It is kind of not really, but then as the end it's definitely something that needs to be overcome
though in the big climax Alfred Melina has set up all the satellite dishes in the cities somehow that so that magic magic
So that when Morgan Lafay arrives that he's trying to create a spell called the rising that will make all the evil dead wizards come back to life.
I guess so they can kill him again. That does make it.
No, so they can be part of Morgan the phase army of evil.
Okay. Army of darkness, if you will.
Yeah.
They are an evil dead, if you will.
Okay.
They are for the love of the game, if you will.
Just say I'm ready movies.
You're making quick and the day
They're real good. I can't fight her man, too
Because while you were busy making Sam Ramy jokes, I was trying to make an East Street man joke
A dark man sure
That's true also I did keep thinking of the Roots brings Dean album the rising. Yeah, but not only because I guess
It used to play over and over again when I worked at Barnes Noble
Sure, I've just got it stuck on my head. That's a bit of an elegant past
Backed ol' I just really worked at a Barnes Noble, which is now a traitor Joe
But she is afraid of heights so Alfred Mlene has set up all the satellite dishes that when Morgan Lafe arises
She will cast this big spell that will bounce off the satellite dishes and then all over the world to bring back
the evil magicians wizards.
And so Jay Barrichelle is driving down to the big confrontation between him and between
Nicholas Cage and Alfred Molina.
For some reason I don't remember why he's got one of his Tesla coils on the car.
Did he ever use that? Yeah.
Something to do with, I don't fucking know.
He used it to shoot a lightning bolt at Alfred Malina,
and that was a pain away or something.
My game.
Okay, because this is all ties in like this
and the satellite dishes all tied at the same bullshit,
which is like earlier in the movie when J. Barre-Shell
was like, so is magic science or is it?
So is this magic or science? And Nicholas Cage goes, yes and yes, which is hilariously not the
answer he's looking for. He's looking for either the word magic or the word science or the word both.
But you're right, they kind of bullshit and an explanation of science and magic being the same thing because it's all about moving molecules around.
Right. But I mean all they just do is like move their hands around and like she's out.
Yeah, and it's like he's actually doing science.
And it also does explain hands are his Tesla coils.
His testicles?
Yeah, that's so weird. Suddenly this one move I think is a genius.
Would they like to realize it?
Would a Shae Barishel has already impregnated his girlfriend?
But was he like, turned out from the movie?
Were they blessing each other with sperm?
Yeah.
Like what?
I thought it was just lightbulb.
Electro sperm.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, my superhero porn movie.
That's why, uh, do you mean, that's why this movie got a heart X.
That is soft X.
Not one of those single X.
The triple X is.
Oh, okay.
That's not a real rating.
I like the idea that they're like multiple X's.
Why would we go for the single X? be you want to use triple X's the
Well, cuz you're gonna watch it with your parents
Single X means it's okay for grandma. This is a porno. You can take them to mom
So anyway, they've got that they've got to stop these satellite dishes to stop this spell and J Barrichelle gives his girlfriend to be
stop these satellite dishes to stop this spell and jay bearer shell gives his girlfriend to be maybe the hardest job which is important
goes go to the top of that build i know you fear heights i need to go to the
top of that building and move the satellite dish over this entails her
climbing up like a rickety metal lattice i would not move up a building and
kicking a satellite dish with her foot but i would also like i would not know
how to begin to just get on top of like,
a random skyscraper like chest to like figure out
which skyscraper has.
I just wonder was I see all this.
Get past the normality.
I soon knew was the NYU radio building.
That's why you had her do it.
Oh, maybe, but they didn't,
they didn't make it clear that that was the building.
Well, and also NYU's radio tower unless they've changed it recently is not
located on the main campus.
Well, magic doesn't exist either.
Checkmate.
Checkmate.
Gotcha.
Just keeping you on the stall.
He just got flopped.
But it's like, it's like I'm going to drive my car down to there and shoot some magic
bolts at somebody
Man, it's a magic bullshit. Can you do something that will actually help?
Can you do something that will save the day and may kill you?
Because I know you have no magic powers whatsoever. I could magic up a metal bird to fly me to the top of that building and just knock the satellite
Discover. No, no, no, no
I'm gonna knock Alfred Millouline is cane out of his hands.
Then we'll see where it goes from there. I kind of need to knock a cane out of a middle-aged man's hands.
That's how I somehow attached this joint Tesla coil to the front of the car without
destabilizing it.
Car had a big testicle on it too. Yeah.
It's really hairy testicle.
Can't believe Disney put this movie out.
The guitar. It's just Harry test Disney with this movie out It's a big ball
And then at the end of the movie they have this giant metal bird they just keep forgetting is in the movie
Yeah, it's important at the until they can use it
But it's one of those things where it's like it's like there happens in a lot of movies where there's a special skill
Or a special weapon and they wait until the last moment to use it
when really if they used it at the first moment it would have saved the whole day and stopped the
whole problem. But at the end he says to his girlfriend, his new girlfriend, they want to go have
breakfast with me in Paris and then the giant bird rides at Lansing goes, I got us a ride and it ends
with them getting on the giant bird and flying off I guess in the freezing cold of the upper atmosphere for like 10 hours to Paris. Yeah, that's the longest
From the world they're gonna die. You know they're gonna run out of things to talk about like 45 minutes in yeah
They'll get the Paris and not be boyfriend girlfriend anymore. That'll be off. I mean you know how how kids are nowadays
They're with the tech state. Oh, Yeah, all the internet. In the Facebook's.
Yeah, tweets.
Sure.
Twitter tweets.
Yeah.
That's contributing.
So.
So this is your, so this is like a, like a generic adventure movie,
basically.
I think you're going to say this is a salad.
The same eyes.
This is our next.
This falls into the same categories, like a a like a Prince of Persia or a jumper
I think I didn't I wasn't here for jumper. I think this was better than Prince of Persia
Even though it felt long it was like well over a half hour
The performance was not as well
That's true Alfred Molina was better in Prince of Persia
But I feel like this had more clever things going on in it
We have a lot of listener mail so let's make it official and just go on to our final
judgments.
Final judgments.
This is a good, bad new mail based podcast now.
The best.
That's the flop house, the podcast that you listen to because we read mail.
You'll change it, you know, we hear some of this great mail.
So this is a good bad movie, a bad bad movie, a movie you kind of liked.
Elliot's one, you take it. This may be a controversial judgment. Okay movie or movie you kind of liked Elias why don't you take it this may be a controversial judgment
Okay, but I actually kind of liked this movie. I didn't think it was that good
But I had enough
Interesting stuff in it that I enjoyed most of it. It's really slowed down in the middle and the ending was really generic
I kind of felt like it wasn't as good as the recent Sherlock Holmes movie
But like how the recent Sherlock Holmes movie started off on a pretty good footing and then just got boring at the end.
This wasn't as good as that, but I felt kind of like that. Like the first 45 minutes of it are kind of dumb, but I enjoyed them.
And then the second half wasn't terrible, you know.
Yeah, I kind of agree with that. I, this was directed by John Trittletob and him and Nicholas Cage, you know like they're their previous collaboration chemistry happen
They like the Scree and national treasure films, okay, they're like Scorsese Indian era
And the national treasure films are stupid movies that I genuinely enjoy like those movies I feel like
Really good Gordon and Jeffrey go
Those movies I feel like really Stewart Gordon and Jeffrey Goh
This movie's really commit to like just being really silly
Like Russ Meyer and girls with big boobs
Like let's say American history and silly it up as much as we can
And like this movie doesn't quite commit to the same level just
It kind of holds itself back a little too much
But uh, but I like the first 45 minutes I I sort of enjoyed it, and then it then slows down,
but it's kind of between a move I kind of like
to the movie that's, that's just bad.
This is the type of movie that if you are on a plane
and wanna kill some time, this is not a bad movie to watch.
Yeah, I'd say that's the best thing.
It's not a bad movie to watch.
If you wanna watch something that's pretty good. It's not a bad movie to watch if you want to watch something
that's dumb and has some adventure.
Well, you have your sick and this is on TV.
This is a fine thing.
If there are no single X films to watch with your family,
sure, you could watch this with your family.
Yeah.
As long as they're comfortable with the testicle hands
that you were talking about.
I mean, in this world we live in,
we're almost any movie is instantly readily available
to you to watch. There's no reason to watch this movie.
Yes, this was, this was an Netflix watch instantly.
But it's not, but I would say wasn't bad.
Yeah. I would, I would have given it like a B-.
No, that's too good. C plus.
Yeah, I'll agree with that. C plus.
You heard it. We instituted a grading system.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Two and it, we instituted a grading system.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Two and a half stormy bonus.
Is it two and a half storm movie?
I'll give it that.
I'll give it.
It's to keep drawn thumb to the side.
Are really vague ways of defining things.
That's a floppy thing.
Except when it's a holiday and then suddenly you've got shitty themes.
Is it spookily scary or ghostly good or pumpkinly bad?
Terrible.
Spookily good bad.
Oh, goodishly okay.
So this is from shan last year
not to the public affairs portion of the podcast
i should make a clear removing it to letters now um
this is from shan last day with hell it says
hey guys i'm wondering if any of you guys have stumbled upon one of the
flop house movies somehow like on cable and actually liked it
like did steward somehow see ten thousand bc
on epics seven and quite enjoy the serenity of two hours of nothing happening or
did Elliot find himself amongst a group of juggalos and find himself laughing
hysterically at big money wrestlers. Also I was listening to the American
Carol episode again and Dan was talking about how badly stage production
turned into movies turned out. What did you think of Vanya on 42nd Street?
And oh checkmate! PS, do you plan on internet-suing polish here on his podcast? How did this get made for
basically taking your exact format? There's so many questions here guys.
Well, I think we're going to have to take him in order. The first answer to the first
question for me is no. No, I've never changed my opinion on either. I found myself watching, like, 10 or 15 minutes stretches
of sorority row, like, catching on television.
But I think I kind of like that movie.
That was a fun one, yeah.
Girl gets chokes to death on a bottle.
Sure.
I haven't gotten to watch that one yet.
I wasn't there for that one.
I ended up running into movies we do in the flop house
all the time, because when my fiance is home alone and left to her own devices
She has a tendency to watch
And when she runs out of whatever TV show she likes to watch
She'll end up watching these terrible fucking movies and like I came home yesterday
And she was watching Valentine's Day and I was like no stop
You left in front of the TV to catch the the the beams.
But nope, they didn't help. Um, I avoid the movie. Once we've seen him here, like,
I rewatch movies all the time. And but once we see them in the flybos, I never felt the interest to go back and watch any of them.
Yeah, I agree. So Brad's, so Brad's which I have on constant play in my head.
States productions have turned into movies.
I don't like it.
Stage productions turn into movies.
It's not necessarily a hard and fast.
There are lots of good stage productions in a movie.
Doddsworth, Councilor Law, those are two from the 30s.
You're witnessing movies that you did for your screening series.
But they're based on plays.
I feel like it's a plug for your screening series.
And I think you might write back.
It's a subject I can literally not add anything to.
No, I think that the thing is either a movie has to find a really organic way to open
it.
Thank you Stuart for that contribution as you walk away from your microphone. Either the movie needs to find a really organic way
to open up the play and make it into a full film,
or it has to embrace the fact that it's a film play in some way.
It's these movies that kind of come up
with the most perfunctory ways I feel like
of opening up a stage production that are unsuccessful.
A good example, I would say,
for instance, is Glenn Gary Glenn Ross, which added the entire scene with Alec Baldwin to make it
help make it into a movie and it was a huge improvement and it's a really good movie. Now lastly,
how did this kid made? Now let's let's let's put this to bed for the first. Let's I'll put it to bed.
at first. Let's I'll put it to bed. Shh. Go to sleep. Go to sleep.
I think that's the worst one yet.
You talk to that.
Oh, I've got worse. I've got worse coming up.
That worse than me saying that he was in a nutshell last.
Oh, that was awful.
No, how did this get made?
It's not like we were, we came up with the idea of making fun of bad movies, first of all.
Yeah, that's true. We stole it from the best ourselves.
Number two, Mr. Paul Sheer is a very sweet man.
He is an old improv coach of mine.
I remember him being very nice, a great coach.
Good guy is a funny guy.
That said, I do resent a little bit.
That said, fuck him.
Go to hell.
It is even sweet guys are assholes
that steal stuff sometimes. No, I don't I don't I don't resent them for I mean it's not like
it's not like you can. And I don't think they had any idea our podcast
yeah. I do I do feel a little sad that we've been doing this for over three years.
For a decade. And you know you get get some some semi-celebrities coming along
and they put they put a podcast up and immediately have 305 star reviews on iTunes.
Well, I mean, if you have someone who's in a TV show, that's sure. And also he has a big product,
customer base from his nightwear store, Sheer Nides. Sure. The most transparent nighties in town, but you know of course if you can't see through it. It's not sheer
You can see through them as easily as you can see through the gap in my front teeth. Wow
Sheeran Wow made it personal. Wow. Not cool. Not cool at all. I just went on I just remember
I said no offense guys. I said nice guys.
He said he was moving along.
No, you know how you can help us with that?
Is a few all you listeners go and review us on iTunes.
Maybe we can help spread the word about the flop house
and then do that.
Give us some reviews on iTunes.
You can be.
Weed about us, blog about us. If you have a television show on a major network,
mention us. You can be the cool alternative bad movie podcast listeners. How
does it get to your friends? Can be like the nickelback of bad movie podcast.
What would we be in that analogy? Three doors down. No, that's not very good.
That's the worst. That's not very good. That's the worst.
Terrible. Why would you? Citizen soldier, right guys? Yeah, that's their song.
Stop for a movie. This, uh, this is from Andrew Lasting with Hell. It's, it's, it's, it's,
it's big family. It's called donations more like don't-ations.
Whoa, I don't like the way this is going. And it says, Dear Flop House Kings,
Well, listen to the latest podcast.
I must say, I grew in synths at the mention of Donations.
And not the good and synths to where you burn smell sticks.
But the bad one, where you black out with rage
and wake up at your aunt's house.
Now, I don't know what dance job is.
Probably carpet salesman.
He wishes.
No, what Stewart's job is.
Probably Asian manicures.
He wishes.
Actually, you're shockingly close. But I do know what Elliot's job is. Lead manicures he wishes actually shockingly close
but i do know what elliott's job is lead anchor for the daily show not quite true
everyday turn on my television to the comedy network and i see elliott's face shining back
at the comedy network delivering the day's news in a comical fashion much like mad magazine
but with less black i have a humor news anchor like elliott on the podcast is still asked
for donations from bags of shit like myself
Is audacious beyond limits even those limits even if those limits are very large like the limits of utaro
Oh, what watch who the watchers site? Sorry or maybe the limits of a large rock
I know for a fact in the website money snatchers.com that Elliott makes over $30 per annum
moneysnatchers.com that Elliot makes over $30 per annum, which after corrected for inflation is equal to 300 fund bucks at participating Shiba's pizza places. If that is not enough
to fund your podcast, I can't imagine what your overhead must be and unless Elliot charges
for his appearances, which in that case, please in flying and close my PayPal password.
Anyway, in closing, please help me buy the rights to the show of his pizza franchise so I can make my films about the rock-fire explosion,
which will be a gritty, Kessaphatty's-like drama, Gina Rollins' Attach.
If she's already attached, then...
Sincerely Sea-Ever-Coop, former surgeon, general, and current pus-found.
So, that's from Andrew, last name with health. He makes some good salient points.
So, it's rare when you see an email written out of cut out magazine letters.
I will have him know that I contribute no money to this podcast and Dan makes very little as he sells pencils on the street and has to pretend he's blind.
I don't even contribute jokes or
Or sometimes yourself. You barely contribute your attention to be honest. Yes
I'm like richy rich where he would hang out with his poor friends and never help them
Or even buy them clothes without losing them They only don't like they would come over to his house and then get into fucking irritating adventures like yeah
They would end with them still poor. Yeah, so we're telling you about their adventures
But they would go on advent like I'm gonna going over to your super rich friends house and only
bad things seem to happen.
Well, I hope you get lost and you don't get to, I don't know.
Well, I hope that answers your question, Andrew.
And that reminds me to thank you, thank our donors Donors, that's what they're called.
Donuts. Thank our Donuts. Thank our Flop House Donuts. Our first
donuts. Alex T, Gin M, and Brian S. Thank you very much. Thanks guys.
Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you Donuts for frosting the Flop House deliciously. Thanks like you shows like the flop house and are you being served continue to stay on the air
And no, no don't say that and thanks stop donating. Thanks to a grant by the Annanburg Foundation
But seriously, thank you. The job group. That's something right the job group. Oh, it's a group of guys who you know
Not all the way. I don't know why they donate to it, just to be here.
Shows.
So, I'm so mad at me.
I think you're just doing this to Vex me tonight.
Do you look Vex? So, this is titled The Contest, Rooner. It's a vex me tonight. Do it vexing, dude. Do it vex.
So this is titled The Contest Rooner.
It's one line.
It's John Last Name withheld.
And it says.
I thought you were going to say John Lasseter.
Pixar is John Lasseter.
He says, just wondering why the contest
rooner sounds so much like 7 pounds. How want you to remember voices you think Batman villains have.
It's a salient point.
I'm the penguin.
Well, it's the Joker.
That's me.
Now I'm man-bad and also firebug.
Killer Croc coming through.
It's Bane here.
Poison Ivy.
I have a girl.
The only one that has different is clay-faced and it sounds like the same thing but with peanut butter is mouth
Yeah, and he's he sounds like Michael can a little bit
So he he totally dropped the ball in that setup by the way. Yeah, come on
This one really devoted to the letters. Sorry
This one says I was so entranced by the you couldn't do your Michael Cain impression
Is what you said? Well, I was I was distracted by the title of the next email which is don't do your Michael Cain impression
Michael has name
I
heard you have make a fun of me on your podcast and I didn't appreciate it. I started the side house rules
I heard you have made fun of me on your podcast and I didn't appreciate it. I started the side house rules.
And Alfie, the original.
Don't understand if that mode of speaking is copyrighted by me, Muggle Kang.
Star of California, sweet.
No, the title of the next email is, you are all hilarious.
Come, even Dan.
Oh!
Backhanded, government.
I mean, you said you're hilarious. Yeah, well tell us what the letter says won't you?
Well, he says a couple of weeks ago my best friend was telling me about this great podcast
He just started listening to and how did it get made?
He played Elliott's pitch for the Ziggy movie to seal the deal. Oh nice.
How I home that night and went straight to your website and now-
Taste is free.
And was forever disappointed.
Now he says, you guys do the best and funniest show I've ever heard on any kind of radio,
internet, conventional or satellite.
Wow.
Well there's some old, you should really listen to some old, there's some great Bob and Ray
stuff.
The Goonshow.
What about those car talk guys?
They can be funny at times, yeah, Fire Sign Theatre.
Yeah, you bet your life, scratch marks,
was a great classic radio show.
Yeah, no soap radio.
Let's get back to the letter.
Okay. Jack Benny, Fred Allen.
Well, he says one thing that I've noticed.
But thank you.
Is that while you've seen a lot of bad bad movies
and few good bad movies, you haven't run into many movies you actually like.
Well, last two times we saw, but anyway.
What was last week?
Last week.
Oh, nine days, yeah.
Yeah, that was all right.
Yeah.
Uh, makes sense, I guess, since likeable bad movies are awfully rare.
By the way, Elliot, uh, how did you manage to dodge out of watching Gooby with us by the night?
After I read, after I heard that, and so I really wanted to see it.
Some mysterious circumstances surrounding your disappearance.
Some mysterious circumstances that involve my wife wanting me to be home some nights.
A mysterious affair at Stiles.
Anyway, I can think of a mystery everyone.
Continue please.
Uh, make sense, I guess, since likable bad movies are awfully rare.
In college, we called them Turk movies after the cinematic classic Turk 182.
A somewhat disturbing number of people agreed that Turk 182 was a movie they could not
honestly say is good, but they would always watch and enjoy it whenever it came on TV.
Personally, while I do kind of like Turk 182, I'll always sit down for streets of fire,
in which music is played, Rick Marannis gets punched in the nose, and Willem Dafoe gets in a sledgehammer fight, and there are placement killers.
Yeah, and Diane Lane sings a lot in that movie.
So I mean in Streets of Fire.
He's asking what are Turk movies might be?
Movies that we don't honestly think are that great.
I would say The Rocketeer, which is a very flawed movie that I watched
again recently and it really doesn't work, but I did enjoy it a lot.
I'm scanning my own DVD shelf as we speak and I have to admit that the monster squad probably
isn't that good movie. On an objective scale probably fair. I do enjoy it.
Science can't prove that it's good.
No.
I mean, I don't know.
I feel like every movie I recommend is a movie that I genuinely like.
I can't say that the story of Ricky is going to be like a great movie,
but I can't help but watch it.
I don't like things that are actually good, I think.
Yeah, you prefer bad things.
Yeah. Yeah. You prefer to infighten on yourself.
Food, bad things. Yeah. You don't care for this, the fun of things in life. No.
Okay. Well, this is a, we said, you know, this is the last email for this episode.
But not forever, right? No, we, we, we, this was not even all the, the, we've got a backlog. Yeah, keep them coming listeners. Yeah, from when we love to hear from you.
Flophouse mailbag. Let's dive in, shall we? But this is the last email for now. It's good leader. And it's called a wonderful dream. I saved my intro to the last letter. Oh, yeah, wonderful dream. A wonderful dream. I saved my intro to the last letter. Oh yeah, wonderful dream. A wonderful dream.
From Matt, Matt Carmen, middle name with hell. Wait, a wonderful dream. This isn't that
slash fan fiction that that guy wrote, is it? Oh god. It's not a wonderful dream.
Dear the flop house. It's too erotic. I recently watched the bucket list for the seventh time and
began thinking of my own list of things to see before I die.
Luckily that list is one item long.
I, before my hands, teeth and genitals, shrivel and fall away, would like to see the flop house perform live.
Of course the details would be up to you, but wouldn't it be great to see Dan McCoy, Stewart Wellington and Elliot Kaelen banter back in order?
Not necessarily. Not necessarily. Not necessarily.
Not necessarily.
Bantler Bag and Porter live during a screening
of the oft-mentioned twin-setters.
Starting the Barbarian Brothers.
I can foresee my soul slipping into oblivion
within the next few months.
So Thursday June 30th would be a perfect night.
It could even take place at 92 Y. Prybeka
at 200 Hudson Street in Manhattan.
The same place where Elliot hosts
a monthly series of great old films.
As seen in the New Yorker.
Now, I don't take this the wrong way.
But I have other loves beside the flop house.
So maybe the evening could include a slideshow presentation
and trivia round, including prizes by Matt Carman
and Cassini Yarsh of I Love Bad Movies.
Yarsh.
Yaroosh, the intelligent and hilarious
bi-yearly publication to which
you gentlemen are frequent contributors.
Anyway, this is probably just some unlikely fever dream, but it would sure ease my fear
of imminent death.
Keep flopping in the free world.
Now I don't know if it's an amazing coincidence or what, but there's an actual event.
What are you doing here?
June 30th, which's what are you doing here? June, this has got a bit.
June 30, which is what, a Thursday?
That's a Thursday.
I have to take the night off work.
Oh, well, we appreciate your second time.
Because you changed after we scheduled the day you changed
your work schedule.
The Thursday is a way better night than Wednesday.
Let's not get into the argument over a stewards work schedule.
Thursday, June 30, 92.
Why Tribeca, 200 Hudson Street, Manhattan, as as you heard was it eight o'clock of the
show 7 30 years ago. I don't know if you go into the 19gy website it is listed
now which is the picture that is on the website is of the barbarian brothers
not of me and Dan. We will be we will be screening the movie, not that here, some about twin bodybuilders who wear weird clothes,
and baby sit twin brat kids.
And also featuring George Lason V.
See, yeah, he's the villain.
Oh my God.
Isn't he?
Yeah, we talked, we talked about this day and we watched it together.
Yeah, we're gonna be there, we're gonna be talking.
We'll be providing, running commentary.
If you've ever been watching a movie and thought,
I wish my buddies a flop house were here talking over this movie.
This is your chance.
If you ever watched Mystery Science Theatre 3000
and wanted to see that emulated poorly.
Yeah.
Imagine it right in front of you.
Imagine an equivalent to that that is not legally actionable.
And that's the flop house presents twin setters yeah so we can use the
I love that we can but not those robots in conjunction with I love bad movies
yeah the best bad movie scene there is yeah and if you go to I love bad movies
calm they've recently purchased that domain name so you can go and you can
check out that bad movies if you can't if you can check out that bad movie scene. If you're not
sated by this podcast. And if you and to kind of ease your hunger over waiting until June 30th.
Yeah, because an episode of the flop has just makes me hungry for more, you know. If I was
a listener at home, not me, the guy making this thing. Unfortunately, I feel like we've
talked so long that we can't say your hunger for more. Yeah, it's time. Unfortunately, I feel like we've talked so long that we can't
say you're hungry for more. Yeah, it's time. We're gonna have to push our
recommendations next time. We're gonna have to leave the audience wanting
something. Yep. So, Balto is what Dan recommends, right? Dan will want it to
recommend the animated film Balto, but no time for that this week. We're gonna
have to sign on my life as a house. Just make sure to clear off June 30th on your calendar
because you will be flopping away with the floppers
in flop time.
It costs money, but not that much money.
No, not that much money.
It costs more than the podcast,
but it costs less than a house.
Okay, that sounds great.
The perfect amount.
So guys, it's been great to spend some time with you
Watch it. Always stand. Yeah, yeah rubbing my
Quit rubbing my knee Elliott. No, they're gonna keep going all right. Well
For the flat house I've been my coy. Oh, I've been store welcome and I am Elliott Kaelin. Good. Hi there everybody I think you're talking about this on the show.
Oh, yes.
Make sure we get this serious political discussion.
Welcome to Bin Laden Report.
Well, if I can tell one thing from our fans is that they want to hear my political views
of this.
Sure.
What does the house cat think about raising the debt ceiling?
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr