The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #92 - Country Strong

Episode Date: December 4, 2011

0:00 - 0:33 - Introduction and theme.0:34 - 4:03 - A little discussion of Stuart's wedding and related matters.4:04 - 34:24 - Kevin James tries so hard, bless his giant heart.34:25 - 36:45 - Final jud...gments36:46 - 41:46 -  Business matters, discussion of the Flop House Wiki, and the wedding of Elliott's REAL best friend.41:47 - 55:09 - Flop House Movie Mailbag55:10 - 1:00:31 - The sad bastards recommend1:00:32 - 1:01:59 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 In this episode we discuss Win of Paltrow's latest excuse to start singing, Country Strong. Hey everyone and welcome to the Flap House, I'm Dan McCloy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I'm Elliot the Beli-it-Kalen. It's a new nickname I'm working out and I know what it means, but I'm trying it out. Yeah. It's because you gained all that weight over the Thanksgiving holiday. I thank you for calling attention to that. I gained 72 pounds over the Thanksgiving holiday. I ate five or six full turkeys. I I blacked out after the fifth one and then they just told me I had some more. That's because of the trip to fan and the turkey that made you black out.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Exactly. And I sleep eight. So, you know, okay. Well, Doritos too. Doritos. Doritos. Okay. Fill inside burritos. Okay. Yeah. Dorito burritos. I call them Derbers. This is the first time we've all been together since your wedding. I mean, first time for the show that we've all been together, at least.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Yeah. My wedding dance talking to me. Yeah, we've all got wedding rings on right now. So no girls allowed. No, boys only the girls are exactly opposite of what the manhole. I'm just saying. All right. Well, guys, guys, guys, I guess we're all married to each other. Was it aware that way married to the flop
Starting point is 00:01:45 What was going on, but you know, I'm comfortable with that. Are you? Here, let me put my hand on your leg TV and movies are to be to believe and of course they are I am never gonna have sex again and Where a lot of slacks. Yes. So we have a lot of slacks. So like several at the same time. Yeah, multiple pairs. Five pairs of slacks, because I want to give my generals a big insulation like a cushion.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Yeah, well, you're not going to use them. So I want to look like a muffin down there. Sure. You're going to have your own special place for garage. Thank you for coming to my wedding, guys. I'm sorry that Dan didn't bring the recording equipment so that our listeners could get a snippet, a taste of there was a request for it, but I think better they didn't get a taste because it would be hard for anyone to get a taste for the wedding without being so unhappy
Starting point is 00:02:42 that they weren't there. Also, they found it how good it was. It's like a single taste would have driven the mad. Exactly. They would ever be so good again. Sure. If I was recording the wedding too, like all that people would hear would be.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Splash, splash, splash. Pull. Pull. Pull. And just the sound of Sleptus spedos slapping against each other. And somewhere in the background, we've got to take control by Bobby Brown.
Starting point is 00:03:03 Mm-hmm. Corn the Ghostbusters, too. Brown, and the Ghostbusters 2. Wouldn't it be Ghostbusters Doze? I don't think they say that, do they? I mean, that's the number two. No, I know, but Spanish. But I mean, in other countries, those doze doze doze, Funtalsmas, doze.
Starting point is 00:03:21 That's not how they do it. Oh, how do they do it? I don't know. Okay. You want to say anything about your wedding steward or should I? It was lovely. Thank you for all the well wishes. All of our listeners who gave us well wishes on the Facebook page.
Starting point is 00:03:37 And for those who didn't give, Stuart, well, with your sh- Sh-Shame on you. Shame on you. Yeah. Sons of bitches. And daughters. I don't discriminate. Sons of daughters. Yeah. Sons of bitches. And daughters. I don't discriminate. Sons of daughters.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Yeah. Sons of daughters. Everyone's probably a son of a daughter. Well, except for one. Yeah. But he's, yeah. Anyway, so, but yeah, it was a great wedding. And next time you should invite all the FLOB House listeners.
Starting point is 00:04:00 I should, right. To your next wedding. Are we spending all this time talking about my wedding because the movie we watched the night was Mean really good or yeah, it was something Yeah, we watched the movie called country strong Strongest del Kuntry Sure in Spanish This was a whenintet Paltrow. I can only assume seeing, you can only assume it's
Starting point is 00:04:29 Quintet Paltrow. I could have been in a skeleton. I could have been some Halloween skeleton. I could have been blonde. I can only assume it was Quintet Paltrow. I mean, I was not there. Okay. It could have been someone until we do DNA test. Yeah, the true No, I was gonna say Well, he's very he's a very talented physical performer. I'm sure he could do it No, I was gonna say this is I can only assume that this was Grant Paltrow seeing Jeff Bridges Having made crazy heart. Do crazy heart did this come out after crazy heart. Yeah,. And I got to get on that same accolades. No, not at all. Not at all. The weird thing. Okay. Follow me guys. Okay. Then we probably tell you what this movie was about is Garrett headland,
Starting point is 00:05:18 the guy in this movie. Yeah. The beautiful Garrett headlands was in the Tron movie Tron Legacy with Jeff Bridges last picture show With Chloris Leechman, okay, okay, keep it going who was in the Frankenstein young Frankenstein Brooks Mel Brooks who was in Life Stinks with the cast of life stinks should have picked a Mel Brooks movie that I knew the cast of. Oh, that was a mistake. Oh, God. It was in space balls with pizza, the hut, who is in last tango in Paris with Marlon Brando. Marlon Brando and pizza hut made a number of films together.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Please himself all the time, Marlon Brando. Yeah, and pizza hut just disappears into the roles. Yeah, that was him as the lead woman in last hangmano. Yeah, I mean, pizza, the hot just disappears into the rolls. Yeah. That was him as the lead woman in last time. I'm a Paris. Yeah. Pizza the hot. He's like rub this pizza grease on your ass. And then okay. Okay, perversoid. Yeah, that's weird. I know we're talking about last time with Paris, but still weird. Uh, so pizza grease on one's ass. Sounds like it would burn you. Yeah. I think we've already addressed the effects of country strong, every country strong. So what's country strong about? I'm glad you asked. Gwyneth Paltrow plays Kelly last
Starting point is 00:06:38 name with held canter, canter, Kelly canter, a, you know, like when a horse slowly walks somewhere or like the sacred singer in Jewish prayer. Okay. I don't think it's spelled that way. How's it spelled? I don't know. Just felt the same way. Actually, I think it's a little differently. She Kelly canter, who is a hit country music superstar sensation.
Starting point is 00:07:02 They say it a couple times. She's a six time Grammy winner. Wow. Multi platinum recording artist. But we like a woman, Garth Brooks. Exactly. Garthina Brooks. But we find her in rehab seems she's had a little bit of a problem, which involved a miscarriage and alcohol. So I don't know why I said a little bit of a problem in a, in a, in a coy way as if it was cute or funny. She's being pushed by her husband slash manager to leave rehab and get back in the biz. Slayed by real-life country star, a country strong Tim McGraw.
Starting point is 00:07:35 It seems a real-life country strong as opposed to the actors playing country strong, which the rest of the movie is. Not speaking of you with Tug McGraw, who is not in the film, but should have been. McGraw, who's the real life country star who does not sing in the movie. But the other actors do who are these other actors, where there's Garrett headlands, who plays an orderly at the rehab center, who's also a country singer. He was a sponsor. He calls it.
Starting point is 00:08:03 He says he's a sponsor, but he's not. Okay. And he's also a he's having an affair with Gwyn. He calls it, he says he's a sponsor, but he's not. Okay. And he's also a, he's having an affair with Gwyneth Paltrow. Which is what a sponsor shouldn't do. Yes. Uh, as seen in season two of Dexter. Spoiler alert. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:17 For Dexter. That was all right. Season two. Thank you. Second season. The second season. It's not very good. Okay. But it picks up again. All right. Not in season three. It gets worse. It's a dexter cast. I thought this is the flopster.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Oh, sorry. Flopfexster. No, the other country's you can say flixer because that's already taken. Yeah. But the end. There's another young country singer that the that Tim McGraw is pushing, played by Leet and Meister, who's a former beauty pageant who is now wants to be a country singer, but she has stage fright, which she gets over in about five minutes. I'm only to assume this is after she has that roommate problem in which she is the problem. Which she's the roommate that kills that kitty and then the myelicaer is the killer. Mickey Kelly. Yeah, Mickey Kelly. Around a window or something.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Yeah, how did she die in that? Did you get thrown out of a window or under a bullet or something? That's where I was. I think. Probably. Uh, but it was in a tree, which was the weird thing.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Yeah, and yeah. So there's not a lot of plot in this movie. Yeah, there's just like, when ary goes back on tour, it's like a mumble core movie. It is like a mumble core movie because everyone you can't hear what people are saying half the time. It's about real life situations. Not really.
Starting point is 00:09:35 I mean, it's, it's kind of loosely based on the same story you've seen in other country music movies that are based on real people where it's like she has a drinking problem. It's hard to deal with the stress being famous and being a country singer. Her husband she thinks is cheating on her with latent mice. Although that we never actually see that happen. She's threatened by least and mixtures up and coming this. She relies on the strength of Garrett headland but too, but not as much as she should. That's bow, right? That's character. Yeah, bow. Bow in the latent meister is Chili's or her name is child's stand.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Okay. Chili's not a real name, though, right? No, well neither is bow something. Well, I mean, I've heard the name bow before. I've never heard somebody name child's. Child sounds like it would be like an undercover cop in a TV show, or like a drug dealer or something. Dan, I thought it was Giles for a while Somebody's butler was supposed to walk into that child. It's not child's not child's I thought it was child's to yeah child's to the sequel
Starting point is 00:10:39 The parenting Now they're the parents. But basically like there's a song like when a pout goes in the same. Goonies to the parenting. Yeah, where the goonies are now the parents and they have a new new crowd of goonies. They've got a teach at a goon. Yeah. The goon in the name. They have to remember what it's like to be a goonie. It's like a coon. Well, because they've sold out after the success of the first goonies Yeah, well because they had all that money from King Willie's gold or whatever they should no willow Willows go
Starting point is 00:11:14 So back to country strong. So anyway, it's a big ball of soap opera but not a lot really happens There's some crying. There's some fussing. There's some feudal some crying, there's some fussing, there's some fudan, Gweneth Pouchrow manages to pull it together for the final big concert in Dallas, where she had her mishap that led to her drunkenly losing her baby. And then spoiler alert, she dies from an overdose of pills. Yeah, delivered overdose, delivered overdose. She commits suicide. And then Leet and Meester and Garrett,
Starting point is 00:11:43 like Phoenix reborn from the ashes. Garrett Hagueman's goes. A new generation of country strongs are unleashed upon the world. And it's ended with the promise of a professional cooperation and maybe more romance between Lincoln-Makers and and Garmin Gubus. I think they're better with the romance than the professional. I mean, they're both famous now. I mean, but I mean, in comparison to what?
Starting point is 00:12:10 Like, they don't really, they don't really give you a sense of the outside world and famousness. Like, you don't see their cover on Star magazine or anything. No, but you see that you hear this. That's how I judge if somebody's famous or not. But they do like big press conferences and reporter asks him, what's it like to have your life change almost overnight? But what if it's like it's all like gaslighting or something like? They want to steal the game. So in the game, so you're saying that this is also something his brother set up to entertain him. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:37 For his birthday. Yeah, it's all a part of a big birthday celebration. Yeah, things so. Okay. And there's nothing in the film to support that reading. Hey, but you're right. There's no sense of we occasionally see like cheering fans outside of a concert. And we see the audience clap along to songs, but there's no sense of that these people exist in a world that has anyone in it with these people. And then whatever fame they might have, at no point do you see them living differently. Like he's still got that scraggly beard.
Starting point is 00:13:09 He's still wearing a weird shirt. He dresses the same. Yeah. Like people always walk into scenes in this movie as if they forgot they were gonna be in a movie that day. Well, if there's, I mean, there, if there's one thing young handsome stars are known for, it's for being clean shaven and kept.
Starting point is 00:13:28 So that's we live in an age of real like real like just like snappy sharp. Wow. I don't understand why you're jumping all over him. I mean, at least like there are most most actors could this could be the end of the flop house. Dan. This actor's probably not it would be an abrupt. Yeah, that's why they finished that.
Starting point is 00:13:49 I'd be like a twin peak sending spoiler alert. And then. But what I'm saying is that is that we don't have to imagine that someone come and save us from the black lodge. I like to imagine. Okay. Okay, let's go deep into our fucking twin peaks. So no one's talking to Worf is the is the bow character has a beard that looks like
Starting point is 00:14:11 somebody glued it on his face and patches like it's not a real beard. No. It looks like he gets up every morning starts to shave and goes and like even shaves. It's like he takes a pair like fingernail clippers to some of his beard and then gives up He takes a piece of masking tape and he just kind of sticks it on his face and whenever here it's pulled out it gets pulled out And he sells the rest to a doll company You So he pays the bills on this horrible life he lives. It's called getting a Nicaraguan, by the way. Brazilian they use wax.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Nicaraguan is just masking tape. Yeah, it mainly just gets lent out of the beard. That's the primary. But I mean, like the, you know, you don't feel... I also forgot to mention, well, after you say, I forgot a character, so... The Kevin Smith came here? Was that what you were talking about?
Starting point is 00:15:02 No. I tell you what, there's a... G one of Peltro has found in the forest around the rehab place a tiny bird that she is named Loretta Lynn to remind us of better country singers and She says I'm taking care of him and her husband for some reason decides I'm gonna take this bird away from you and then later I can't have nice things and then and then just But I'm gonna I'm gonna go along with it and carry this book and box around all the time. You see him carrying a box with a little bird in it all around. I mean, you know, it's a good way to sort of keep people on their guard.
Starting point is 00:15:37 And I expect them to have like a bird in a box. And as an actor like Tim McGraw, who's kind of new to the acting business, it's good for him to have like a physical object. Yeah, because he doesn't know what to do with his hands. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, he just put him in his pocket, otherwise. Yeah. No, I was going to say strum in a guitar, you know, guys?
Starting point is 00:15:55 A keytar. A keytar. That's why I was strumming that bird through the most of the movie. Swimming. Yeah. And the bird would just go, it's a living. No, I was going to say that, you know, like the bird would just go it's a living No, I was gonna say that you know like the real the real triumph of this movie of course is It's just it's it's a cavalcade of likable characters the characters that we really care about
Starting point is 00:16:21 It is a movie or we enjoy when a major character dies you're like oh Yeah, all right like there's no not even a pang of anger at the movie for killing a character for no reason. That's one less character to sing songs. I'm going to get one. Yes, they were in country strong enough. When Paul took kills herself at the end, you are a left kind of thing. Yeah, it's about it already. Dan, don't ruin the movie when she killed herself at the end.
Starting point is 00:16:44 It kind of feels like, okay, yeah, that was a reasonable response. Like, you've, I mean, that was a move that she wants to burn out. She doesn't want to fade away. Exactly. A logical move for you to make. I mean, you start to... I'm kind of fast, I young and leave a skeletal corpse.
Starting point is 00:16:57 From what we've seen, you don't really have that much to offer people. So, sure, why not? Yeah, none of these characters are create any sense of connection with the guys. What about when she made all those friends of that bar when she was wasted and then left that bird to die. And she also sang a song for a kid with leukemia who made a wish. And she had sex with that sleazy concert promoter almost sex with the sleazy. Well, she might have been. She was mid sex when they were getting there. I don't I mean they were They were close, but she's you know we covered this
Starting point is 00:17:29 I don't know. Oh, yeah, that's what we did. Okay, not something to the flop. The listeners need to hear. I mean clean with Paul trail like I don't need my main characters to necessarily be like you likeable Yeah, but I mean, there's nothing to latch on to her. Like she like this is a character who is like mid uh, 30s. Well, mid melt melt down through the entire film. Like she like we see two concerts where she totally dicks over her fans, but like coming out like the first one she comes out that comes out half finishes two songs and then leaves because she can't do she's having a mental breakdown. The second one she's so drunk that she can't go
Starting point is 00:18:09 out and stage it all. She's having some kind of a metamorphosis. She's constantly doing a big cockroach. She's constantly having sex with Bo but then like well that's not like at her husband. We don't actually see her constantly having sex with her. Yes like not like she's on stage singing well she's having sex with her. All right. She's having sex with Bo all the a lot. And then when there's a thing and then she's getting mad at her husband all the time. She's smiling. Yeah, possibly she suspects her husband of like grooming.
Starting point is 00:18:35 Leighton Meister to be the next be his next woman, I guess, but there's really no evidence that he's doing that. And at the same time, Gweneth Paltrow is openly pretty much having an affair with Bo. Like, and we know that from moment one of the movie, you know? So that's going on. You got her husband who like broke her out of rehab early. Yeah, he gave her a cake with a file in it.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Basically, just because he was like, okay, well, you're my meal ticket, you're the big country star, we gotta get you back on the road. So he's not great. You got Bo who is screwing this unstable woman. And he does a lot of scavenging and whining. And then he's also putting the moves on late in the Easter. And then when it looks like-
Starting point is 00:19:19 Putting the penis on late in my Easter. Yeah, he does put his penis on her. On her, he does lazy chit- it gently on the crown of her head. Give her a hand. Yeah, he's like, called a progenial. Like, hold on. He's like, this, this, this, this, this, called a Spartan. This penis is really, this is a little heavy. Like, I've been, I've been carrying this thing around between my legs all day. I just pressed it on you for a moment. She was asleep.
Starting point is 00:19:42 She didn't know. Can you help me carry the load? But she, I mean, Leet and Meister is starts out being a very unlikeable character, and then I felt becomes a more likeable character. I see what I liked and that, like, but she started. And those dimples didn't hurt anything, you know? Sure, she's a cute lady.
Starting point is 00:20:02 Real cutie pie. She's a, yeah, she's a sweetie pie, honey. It almost, it almost made me feel real. She's a real crazy roommate. She was. Remember guys, she's in the room. She had those weird taste in art. I think she was playing at different characters, Stewart.
Starting point is 00:20:16 I think that they're too separate characters. I prefer to believe it's the same character. We'll talk about that later. We're back from Swazie and Point Break in Roadhouse. Yes. There's like this weird moment at the end where James role Jones in Star Wars and the great white hope. Yep. Same person coming to America. Same person. Uh, he's king of an African country
Starting point is 00:20:35 and then becomes king of a space empire. That's, uh, that's what Darth is. That's the title is space empire king. When you mean emperor, no, there is an emperor already. Okay, so he's a king of our principalities. Yeah. He's a, he's a, he's the Cape Viscount, right? Yeah, he's much higher than a Viscount. Yeah, he said king.
Starting point is 00:20:56 He's king. Let's do this. Come on. No, but like it also bothers me. King of space. That the two, the two young country strong's bow and late and me stir like they both want to be country stars like they both want to sing country strong. Yeah, they're opening for Gwen Paltrow's character but for
Starting point is 00:21:15 some reason, bow like lays this like weird guilt trip on late and me stir about like oh you can sing your pop country music. Well they tried it and then like seems like he's mad at her at the end, which he's like soaking in the adoration of the crowd. They try to draw a line between that he's the real, he's got the soul of art an artist. He doesn't care if he's performing in a stadium or in a grungy biker bar, as long as he's playing his music the way he wants
Starting point is 00:21:37 to play his music. And he stands for real country, old time soul, whereas late and myster is like a pop carry underwood type, except their song sound exactly the same. Yeah, it's no different. Like Justin Bieber was complaining about all these these sellouts
Starting point is 00:21:52 to play shitty pop music. If Justin Bieber was like Kesha, you've got to really find the soul of your music. And then he comes out and plays what the baby, baby, so many times. Sir, if I've just alienated all the flop house listeners real beaver fun
Starting point is 00:22:08 real be pets. Yeah, well we play mainly to an audience of tweens. That's what I find when I look at our demographic breakdown demos I can't believe you hired that that demographics company to find out the numbers to do a poll of our listeners to find out the numbers to do a poll of our listeners. All we found out was the most remote computers. It's gonna help us with our advertising. You need to express your curating. Yeah, let's make your end right now, like eight. Yeah, it's eight point three.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Is that good? What's that out of? Eight point three two? I don't know. I know that the steward has 12 warme boners. That's better than last year.ward has 12 warme boners. That's better than last year. I only attend warme boners. And Dan, how many boring Leonardo's for you at?
Starting point is 00:22:50 I don't want to get into that. I'm a million-ardo scrooge McDuck, sorry. Look, I'm the... Okay, what's your sidecloth quotient? I can make the study, so I don't. I was mainly by YouTube, and I have how many tweens we could we could draw you what's your pervisoid rating? You still at number one or have you slipped in the rankings? Like is Brett Ratner surpassed you as a pervisoid
Starting point is 00:23:14 He's he is more of a dick and I'm the pervisoid Okay, I have a more important question is the city duckberg on the planet the Howard the duck is from and if so does Scrooge McDuck know quack food? I don't know but demographics people get answer that. It's really more of an astrophysics question. Uh, and then I have a sub question. What are the tenants of quack food and why does it just look like he dodges around and hits people with objects he finds? Well, that's the tenant of quack food. Sure. Don't get and hits people with objects he finds. Well, that's the tenant of QuackFoo. Sure. Don't get hit hit people with objects you find. Yeah. Mainly a style of fighting based around fighting human beings as opposed to other dogs. Yes. Well, it's a QuackFoo teaches you to fight people who are
Starting point is 00:23:57 bigger and less feathered than you. Sure. It's much less. It has a lot of things in common with the double dragon fighting style. Okay. Except that with QuackFoo, you don't expect your enemies to fade away and turn into big things of meat they eat. Uh-huh. Why were the giant guys in double dragon called up Bobo? It's just their name. Okay, Dan, go back to what we were talking about.
Starting point is 00:24:23 I think we're talking about. What were we talking about about Quackery Strong. Country Strong. So Country Strong is the name of a song that Gwyneth Paltrow does sing. Yeah. So by the time you get to that song, you're like, yeah, Country Strong. Yeah, this is what I came to see. Oh, it lots of Country Strong.
Starting point is 00:24:37 There we got title about an hour and a million years into it. I mean, this is a very slow board. Well, the thing is, this is the kind of, this is such a, it's such a cliche old story. Like the fading star, the up, up and coming star, the rivalries, the two men, and like, they could have made this movie in the 30s, the 40s, the 50s, the 60s, the 70s, except in those versions,
Starting point is 00:25:00 it would have been like over the, it would have been so much more emotional and so much more big. And here it was like just kind of all sub, it's that 90s style of filmic, or not 90s, sorry. That 21st century of filmmaking where everything's like really subdued and not, there's not a lot of energy to anything. Well, and the only innovation they've added is in making you not sympathize with any of the major characters. making you not sympathize with any of the major characters. I mean, this is a movie that, like, clearly the thing the driving force behind it was Guineph Baltra Bay. I like to sing.
Starting point is 00:25:32 And people, you know, telling Guineph Baltra that she has a nice voice, which she does. Yeah, that's fine. I mean, but like, that was the fact that I don't drive a celly, but who is? I'm not like screaming and tearing in my ear holes, but a good quarter of the film at least was musical. Exceptive pleasure. Was musical performances.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Yeah. And everyone I think was credible as conferring singers. Yeah, no one embarrass themselves. But that's about it. No one had to do any like talk singing. Like actors do when they can't really sing like I wrote a custom to have face that like basically Rex Harrison
Starting point is 00:26:11 Yeah, but bring a woman to your life did that that that that you know it's the It's kind of interesting that all that these actors got so like into the project so invested in the project to spend all this time Like basically trying to become country singers first and then be in this movie second. It's not like the fucking dialogue leapt off the page. No, that's true. I mean, I think it is the thing. I mean, that was probably the quality of the ink.
Starting point is 00:26:37 People who perform have the disease where they want to get up also and sing in front of people. Everyone wants to sing in front of them. So you're saying that the opportunity to pursue a fake singing career was right? Well, it's very easy for a fakes in career to become a real singing career. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:26:54 And frankly, like it's kind of weird. And frankly, and frankly, the diary writer, yeah. Yeah, well, I won't get into that, that's not it. That's not a funny day. That's not a profitable line of comedy. The like America seems to be one of the few countries where big actors don't automatically have a singing career. Like I watched as tears go by, the one car wide movie movie recently and I was looking up stuff about it And I didn't even realize that like the big Hong Kong stars are also huge music stars like Andy Lau has an enormous singing career You know, and it's it's just taking it's taking for granted like you're a big star. So you're a big star in everything
Starting point is 00:27:41 So I guess point it's one of the more taste to that action Painting painting Painting. Painting. Yeah, sculpture engraving. Sure. Um, physics. Wait, did you already say sculpture? I think so.
Starting point is 00:27:55 I think that's why you're thinking of it. Yeah. But the, uh, so let me ask you a question. Or did you have something you were going to say now? No, no. Let me open up the table to Disco Cione. Okay. Okay, so the movie Crazy Heart, did you guys see it?
Starting point is 00:28:10 Yeah. I thought that's not what we watched tonight. We watched Country Strangelo. No, I didn't mean did you see it tonight. Okay. Have you seen it in the past? Yes I have. So this movie in terms of the overall outlines of the plot, not that different from Crazy Heart.
Starting point is 00:28:23 Right. Crazy Heart was a much better movie. What do you think the difference is? Is it just that the writing was better or what, that you could hear what people were saying when they talked or? That's a good question. I mean, I don't think that there is anything
Starting point is 00:28:43 in Crazy Heart where like that character is inherently more likeable by his actions. That's what he does think like he loses a kid at a mall, he's a bad boyfriend. But Jeff Bridges has just an inherent like ability. Whereas I mean, Gwyneth Paltrow, I don't share the hate that a lot of people have for her. Like, I've liked her in things, but she is noted for having sort of a chili, to me, so if you make her...
Starting point is 00:29:12 So being an unlikable character. So being a self-destructive diva, fits Jeff Bridges, but not Gwyneth Paltrow. Interesting. Okay, that's a good answer. Well, and also the... Crazy Art doesn't quite so much have that like the reflected like, here's a star past their prime, and these are some new up and coming stars. Crazy Heart, I don't feel really, I mean, it kind of had it with Colin, Colin Farrell, but he was, he was more, he's already a star. He's like, it's crazy heart. Colin Farrell has already far
Starting point is 00:29:42 surpassed Jeff Bridges. Yeah. And Jeff Bridges is. And the story's not really about him, whereas this movie, a lot of it's about the fucking bow character who's fairly broadly drawn. Yeah, very bland. And I can also genuinely buy the sort of issues of authenticity that Crazy Heart tries to bring it, because they do differentiate the sounds of the different types of country music that are used in that movie. And all the good answers.
Starting point is 00:30:08 And Jeff Bridges is a, like, the Crazy Heart Jeff Bridges character, bad, whatever, is a much more believable alcoholic to me than... The co-traumatic. The co-traumatic. The co-traumatic. The co-traumatic. The co-traumatic. The co-traumatic.
Starting point is 00:30:24 The co-traumatic. The co-traumatic. The co-traumatic. The co-traumatic. The co-traumatic. Al Tro who all of a sudden you just you own her alcoholism is displayed by every once in a while You'll walk into a room and she'll be shit face with a bottle of vodka. Yeah, I mean like that That was one of the things about the movies like I knew going in that she was supposed to be playing in alcoholic But I was like I wonder when the alcoholism's supposed to kick in and then I was just like oh there's a bottle of vodka on the table I guess she's supposed to be drunk right now. I didn't I didn't get that. Yeah, where's in crazy hard? It feels like alcohol is just a necessary component to his life. Coming out of his pores at all moments. I mean, if you go to see the sense around those are I think those are all good examples. Okay. Now country strong. Strong on the other hand has with ball tro singing to a bald child.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Cancer. Yeah, I mean, he's not just bald. I brought up cancer. He's not in a cancer ward. Yeah, I mean, he's not just bald. I brought up cancer. Run, he's not in a cancer ward. He's in a classroom. All right. And two, you say bald child is if that's crazy, because he has a horrible life journey to the east. No, no, I say that as if, like get a wig, kid.
Starting point is 00:31:17 That's what I say. I say that. Bring a hat. I say that as if too. It just accentuates his lack of hair to bring attention to the fact bring sadness to our listeners that if you want ethos if you want a movie that you can't just wallows in like like there's nothing more just like to make you feel creepy and oaky then when the polthro like the
Starting point is 00:31:45 Adam's fan singing to this pretty dancer child with her like you know like acoustic so I don't know it feels like when Paul throw the actress being like this is the scene yeah this is what's gonna win me that Oscar I'm gonna either that or one of the scenes where I you know, this sick child. Yeah, put me over the edge. The one where she yells about her dead baby bird or whatever. Yeah, okay, did that not happen?
Starting point is 00:32:11 I don't, they kind of gloss over. I really cut that out. That was in the alternate ending that we didn't get to see. The original ending, they walk in on her, this is my assumption. In the, because they're it. I read the picture. I read that the DVD has the original ending. We don't notice. We didn't watch the DVD. We watched it on off of Tivo.
Starting point is 00:32:30 So here's what I imagine. They walk into her room. There's pills in the table. They can't wake her up. Uh-oh. They're going, Kelly, Kelly, wake up. Oh, what did you do? Kelly, Kelly. And they're all, God, she's dead. She pops up. gotcha, I'm okay, but my bird is dead. Cuts you the funeral tiny casket. The Paul Barrett's are all other parts. Paul Barrett, the underdaker. Yes, that's weird. That's weird.
Starting point is 00:32:56 He's performing the service. Does that mean the country music I get it? Yeah, they put a tiny shoe box into the dirt. But there's a huge monument above it, like many, many times life size. And for some reason, the bird has a book tucked under its wing. And in the other wing, it holds a star. Okay. So it's like a songbird.
Starting point is 00:33:15 And she says, for you, birdie bird, because she's already forgotten the readily in us the name of the bird. For you birdie bird, I will continue to be. And she turns to the camera, close up, look at the camera. Country's strong. Title comes up. You hear a gunshot for some reason, but no, it's hurt. Just like an exciting like, you feel fireworks go off. Yes, I'm the same. Sure. Then we cut to obligatory rap scene. Okay. She tells the story of the movie in rap, in rap form. I would like a fish islands. Exactly. All the animated ghost of the dead bird flits around
Starting point is 00:33:46 her shoulders. Well, the ghost of the dead bird is like a white man. It's like, oh, yeah, not a good thing. Like mugs from Cybersilger. It's short. Okay. Yeah, that's and that's the end of the movie. Okay. And then as a credits role, it cuts to one of Paul Tro and it says two years later and she's finally finishing the screenplay for country strong fingers covered in ink or whatever yeah, and she goes Beauty yes, yes perfect and then says country country country strong will return in country strong to country stronger Perfect original ending. I don't know why they changed it for this downer. Yeah, all right Well Move on to our final judgments on this movie.
Starting point is 00:34:26 I do want to say one last thing on this movie is that a former Daily Show writer and current co-writer of Will Chattoners memoirs, Chris Regan, on his Twitter feed had the funniest country strong joke. I thought which was that country strong was Tarzan's campaign platform. All right. Anyway, final judgments. This is a good bad movie, a bad, bad movie, a movie you kind of like Stewart. How do you feel? Yeah, I'd probably say it's a bad, bad movie like it's really slow. There's not really not not there.
Starting point is 00:35:00 It's fairly, fairly broadly drawn, fairly bland. I'm not a big country music fan. And the things I am a fan of, boobs, killing, all that sort of stuff, it's not in this move. Very few maniacs invisible or otherwise. No freaks of the Castle of the Rhyde, what have you. So because of that, I would probably say it's a bad, bad movie. So if you were like me, you shouldn't see it.
Starting point is 00:35:23 say it's a bad bad movie. So if you were like me, you shouldn't see it. That's brilliant. I would also call it a bad bad movie. It was very boring and dull and there just like Stuart saying there wasn't a lot of it there. It was like they had the very barest outline of a movie and didn't fill it in. Characters didn't feel like characters. They just kind of felt like types and they just kind of wandered around and there was no sense of anyone having any stake in what was mainly frowning. Yeah, a lot of frowning and mumbling and I do like country music of the older variety that bow is supposed to be a fan of but they don't really play any it like sometimes it plays on the soundtrack, you know, but it just it was not nothing much for the country fan but for the Glamath Paltrow fan fan she does a lot of what a Paltrowy things so you know I would call it bad bad
Starting point is 00:36:07 Unless you're a Paltrow head A Paltrain a Paltrune I think they're called Also is bad bad. It was just much of unpleasant people Driving around on a bus Occasionally stopping to sing songs. So it sounds like the magical mystery tour movie. Yeah Sounds like a song that the DC Pro Totally be an hour long and the actual music was better. Yeah true. It's to our nice shark reference. Yeah, I'm pretty cool I remember his name because it rhymes with fart
Starting point is 00:36:41 Okay, just took away your intellectual points. So just Okay, just took away your intellectual points. So just a few bits of business before we get on to letters. And the kibbles of business or just bits of business. Is this my, is this my, is this my, is this my monthly employee review? Uh, yeah, bits of business gentlemen, uh, Stewart is fired. Stewart your house cat, you are rehired. Wait, was that why the house cat hasn't been around for a while? Yeah, you have fired.
Starting point is 00:37:08 He hasn't been rehired yet. What was it because of something he did? Was it drug testing? Was it related? It was drug related. Oh, man. And have you heard about the whole Penn State thing? That was, wait, what?
Starting point is 00:37:18 Oh, God. I don't want to say anymore. Well, this could really hurt the house cat's popularity. Yeah, terrible things. He's a beloved flop house character, but a huge child molestation scandal, I think, would take that away. No, he was one of those kids that pushed over that bus. Oh, well, that's still pretty bad.
Starting point is 00:37:37 Yeah, but he just did it because he likes mayhem. Okay, so he wasn't supporting Joe Paterno. No, he just likes to not go to the... He's just chaotic evil. Well, yeah, and I mean, he's a party. He'serno. No, he just likes to not go to the... He's just chaotic evil. Well, yeah, and I mean, he's already... He's already a party, yeah, he's a party. I like to believe the House cat released a statement afterwards saying, I thought it was just a wild party.
Starting point is 00:37:53 I had no way support Joe Paterno and Jerry Sandusky. All right. The House cat draws a very strong line around the protection of children. There's no party that gets so out of control a child should be hurt. So you're essentially house cat. House cat. You gotta do his soundbite.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Well, you know, he fired me. Yeah, well. So actual biz party hard enough. Because I did, that was his complaint that I didn't party hard enough. You need someone around who doesn't party and he threw a bottle at me and I said house cat, he used to be about the parties and he said it still is and I was like, oh, you're right.
Starting point is 00:38:28 So in not house cat related business, is there any? First, quickly thanks to Jeremy M for his donation. Hey, thanks, man. The M stands for money. Millionaire. In the last episode, we teased talking about the flop house wiki and then we did not say anything about it. Kind of half forgot and half ran out of time. But there, you know, if you go to the show notes for this show, there'll be a link to the wiki.
Starting point is 00:38:56 And, yeah, my request for listeners to create the actual wikipedia page for me ended up in them creating a entire wiki devoted to the flop house. They're doing a great job about 195 pages at last count on topics, including popcorn tricks, the popcorn trick, my pizza order invisible maniac. There's a whole there's a whole entry for wait, what? Come on for mirrors. There's they've been doing a great job lately of filling out the individual episodes with descriptions of the movie pitches that we make during the episodes.
Starting point is 00:39:31 And I've been reading them at work and crying because I'm laughing so hard. So nice. I love reading things we said. And then forgot. And then forgot about. I totally have forgotten about the movie, Million Dollar Getaway.
Starting point is 00:39:49 And you got to listen to that again. But you guys are doing a great job. Keep it up if you want to appreciate it grow Go there. What's the website? I don't have it on hand Go to our website for print and pages of stuff. Why couldn't go to our website? Okay, when you at the Lophouse podcast.com and they'll be a link. We'll link to the Wiki and please help them fill it out with flop house information and X formation. I don't even know what that means. I don't
Starting point is 00:40:12 know. I ran out of a second. But they they talk about your feelings over your friends upcoming wedding, right? Your engagement. Well, that's not okay. For the listeners out there, of course, and
Starting point is 00:40:23 halfway got engaged. Ellie is very happy. Yeah, he just got his invite, right? Nope. To the bachelor at party, right? Don't expect to be invited to that. Yeah, get rid of the show. You'll be giving the bride away. Not that is also not true.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Neither will I be presiding over the ceremony. I mean, are you going to be very sad? Because I know you two have a history. We don't. The fact that she has now made her final choice. Are you gonna give the groom a lot of that? Are you gonna start that early final? Are you gonna be giving the groom many knowing looks?
Starting point is 00:40:51 Like, no, I won't be there and we'll never. Well, I mean, you're married now. And take a little ankle, she loves that. That's creepy. And no. No, wait, what else is he gonna say, Dan? Yeah, what are their tips? Moving on.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Uh, so first, buyer a lot of firsts. Speaking of weddings, um, she enjoys girl things. If you want to see pictures of the fabled, uh, Chuck Speedo's, I'm gonna throw something up on the Flophouse Facebook page just to keep it a little more private than, uh, have a floating around on the regular internet. Yeah, with our millions of unique viewers
Starting point is 00:41:25 to the Flophouse webpage. And I think, you know, if Stewart gives me an acceptable picture to share with all of you, of the wedding night. I'll show a picture of Stu and full gay- Conservation. Possibly with his bride, I don't know, but yeah, we'll put that up.
Starting point is 00:41:48 So, but anyway, moving on to actual letters. Also, that's a warning. If you don't want to see us in Tuxedo Speedows, don't look at our face. Letters. Well, Elliot didn't take part. I didn't. Well, I'm going to teach. We'll see what happens. You'll see.
Starting point is 00:42:02 Watch what happens. A Bravo. Why? The TV show that's not really a TV show. This letter is email is titled Ding Dong Gate. And it says, okay, I like this analyst. And it's a gate made out of Ding Dong's. If it's like the movie, the gate. From Dan last name withheld.
Starting point is 00:42:22 And it says, dear the flop house. That's us. I'm a long time fan of the show, but if only recently been moved to write in Stewart, I downloaded and watched Castle Freak thanks to your repeated loss of recommendation. Downloaded? I hope someone got some money for that.
Starting point is 00:42:37 iTunes probably. Okay. And it was well worth it. However, I need some clarification. I spent the entire film waiting eager anticipation for a character to quote rip off his own ding dong, but this scene never materialized. Oh, it must have been the other way.
Starting point is 00:42:53 The titular castle freak is missing his ding dong, but I don't think it was ever explicitly referenced that he ripped it off, and certainly that's shown on screen. Either that or I missed this pivotal shot and I need to rewatch. Well, for one I'd recommend rewatching it. But you you might have gotten all of an R-rated version because I clearly remember a dig-donged mean ripped off. Much like for people who watch the television
Starting point is 00:43:14 version of the toxic Avenger, you'll never know that the actual version of it is much crazier and it's an unrateder. Never. And it's the version I grew up with. And it wasn't until years later that I found that it was this, you know, bizarre movie. And also my a bit of advice. Never ever get the R rated version of Dead Alive or or Reindead get the unrated version. Because the R rated one is like 25 minutes long, right? It is, it is shorter, shorter. And it's it is it is it is it is a put your job in
Starting point is 00:43:48 terms of like like that is a crazy fucking splatter movie and a lot of that stuff is gone. Yeah. And never get the R rated version of bandy. If you're a band of lovely, but it's not appropriate for children. Stick with the G rated version. On the other, other on the other end don't get the R rated version Either of Debbie does Dallas because you will be disappointed. Yeah, sure a lot of scenes will start and then stop abruptly And don't get the Look let's let the audience feel in that bit. Oh, you got another letter there. I know we're running out of time. This one's from Robert Lesney with Held.
Starting point is 00:44:28 It says, floppers. I'm running you to let you know that I'm acquainted with a former star of one of your favorite films, Private Lessons. In fact, I used to work with Patrick Hickeninny. That's offensive. What? That's no reason for that. Who played the role of Sherman? People at work would secretly pass around the DVD and watch the video of his dancing scene at the pool. I never confronted the man himself about his former stardom. For the where are they now, File? Patrick is currently a lawyer in Ohio.
Starting point is 00:44:57 As you can see, he ran for Judge in Central Ohio last year. He includes a link to that. Any who just thought you would want to know. Well, we do want to know. Yeah. If anyone else has really benefited from those private lessons, yes, a judgeship, very impressive. Although I don't think it sounds like you didn't get it. If other people have stories about the stars of 80s sex comedies. Yeah, please tell us. Sure. We want to know. And if Eddie Dees is listening, right? Like the, you don't have anything else to do. Like the male lead and light consequence, Billy Zane. Where's he now? What's he up to? What's he up to? What's he got doing? His story and that brat pack. Where are they? This one is from Beth last name with held a lady. There's deer flappers. I would like to make an amendment to Sarah not dance wife's
Starting point is 00:45:51 letter that was read during the red writing hood episode. I feel that a letter from your wife. And no, not dance wife. Oh, not dance wife. With you, Dan. Yeah, because it could be that because your wife is not the wife of another guy named Dan. Oh God. This is this is this is this is this is it. I'm confused already. We're through the looking glass already on this one. But uh, there are chests as it came played with people. She says, I feel that I have the authority to do so because Sarah is my sister-in-law while discussing our new, our favorite new crushes, the men of the flop house. Whoa, let me guess one man of the flop house. Score.
Starting point is 00:46:27 Sarah informed me that she did in fact, here Stewart is Seth Rogan and Elliott as Vincent Carthiser. Which one's Vincent Carthiser? Uh, he's on Mad Men as what's his face the weaselie. Would Pete Campbell? Yeah. Oh, I'll take that. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Uh, but what she that. That's fine. But what she did, he's got a bullish charm. But what she did not mention in her letter was that when she heard Dan, she pictured a giant talking teddy bear. Accurate. Shockingly true. I thought it only right to call her out on this because before she said this, the thought had never crossed my mind.
Starting point is 00:47:03 Why would it? But there was no going back. The image is now burned into my brain. When I listen to the flop house, all I can picture is Seth Rogan, Conner from Angel, or Pete from Madman, if you want to be all current. And a man-sized snuggle bear,
Starting point is 00:47:16 sharing a bucket of Popeye's chicken and arguing over whether or not Duckbird is anti-Semitic. Now, try to imagine Dan McQuoy, man-sized teddy bear wearing a tux-speed-Semitic. Now try to imagine Dan McEvoy, ManSize, Teddy Bear, wearing a tux speedo. Done. Yep. See, you're like, you be here's just one thing I want to correct. Popeyes doesn't sell chicken and buckets. They come in boxes. Buckets are for KFC is not a good way to store or sell
Starting point is 00:47:39 chicken. But otherwise, I like, I think it's time Dan that you revealed your secret Dan was the star of gooby you played the part of gooby it's a lot very hard from to find roles being a teddy bear man Robbie cold afterwards do my voice I'm sort of like the guy who is in the suit for for Darth Vader David Pras yeah yeah in that you're banned from Star Wars conventions. Yeah, that's for other reasons. Yeah, that's yeah, let's not get into those. Let's just say slave lay a beauty contest and be done with it. You're right. You look like you've got nothing to say about this.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Why don't you say I'm trying to remember which episode we spent most of the time talking about furries and Yiffies and all that shit. All of them. Yeah, I mean, we probably talked about it. Okay. I think it sounds like it's up to some flop house fan artist out there to bring this image to life of Teddy Bear Dan. Sure. Possibly lusting after young women. It might not be in his, it's hard now to reconcile your teddy bear qualities with your pervazoid one qualities. Oh, no, but that's that's that's the secret. Yeah, one of them is a secret identity, but which one?
Starting point is 00:48:50 Oh, can you do your exterior allows me to lure women in for cuddle parties? Sure. Yeah, and then they turn into something far more horrible. So cuddle parties are all ready kind of kind of kind of.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm man sized teddy bear. That's true. Yeah. And those cuddle parties, I mean, it's tough to get all that stuff out of his fur. Stuff? Stuff, you know, like the key. Stuff, the leather coat. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:17 No, and the stuff, like the white stuff that you eat and it blows your head up. Okay. Because enough is never enough. Uh, so this letter is titled bad cop worst cop. We're talking about maniac cop, right? Which one would he be though? This is worse than him. From Ed last name withheld and I'm going to assume it's Ed O'Neill. It says star of modern family.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Dear Purvisoid star of Dutch. And the dragnet remake. It says star of modern family dear pervisoid star of Dutch And the dragnet remake is dear pervisoid mr. Hathaway party animal on house cat This weekend I decided to treat myself to an oft flop house recommended action classic mainly tango and cash Gentlemen, I thank you beauty and motion would that But that's like a poster I would have that as a hot chick on it and a Lamborghini Without your input, I never would have seen Kurt Russell cross dressing Terry Hatcher incorporating an electronic drum kit into a seductive dance
Starting point is 00:50:23 Yeah, it fits I guess the dictionary definition of seductive. So Vester Stallone playing a stock market with or the ultimate destructive power of a tricked out Ford Explorer. All in all, I rated 117 to mess it boners. Luckily, good bad. Congratulations on your nubual steward. I hope you managed to kill a bear with a flamethrower at your bachelor party. Yeah, I mean, it was almost that. You'll see the pictures of the website. Let's just say Stuart's not allowed back in Maryland. Yeah. And there was recently a convention of bears in Maryland where I was vilified. And an idol of me was
Starting point is 00:51:00 a throne of on the ground and stepped on the We swiped at it with our paws. Sure. Yep. As if batting fish from the lake, from the river. I know. We like to spread the gospel of take-go and cash. Oh, it's so good. It's so wonderful.
Starting point is 00:51:18 It is. That's the villains' fort that has a self-destruct button, right? Yep. And he has a hall of mirrors next to his desk. For no reason? For no reason. He likes to play with white mice. Yeah, he's got the little maze for the mice to go through.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Yeah, that movie is perfect. Again, Lives in a World where if you blow up the evidence, you're exonerated from the crime. The movie is perfectly stupid. And I love, and of course, Michael J. Pollard shows up at the end of the film. Oh, it was a character we've not seen before. The retarded weapons genius.
Starting point is 00:51:49 He has somehow an idiot's to vaunt when it comes to high tech weaponry, but works for the police department and builds them some kind of battle truck. In the end of the movie features the front page of a newspaper featuring a picture of that where there was there was taking where there was no photographer. You don't know that. It's not a three dimensional picture plane. Hey guys, we're not in the danger room. The old tag, the old tag goes, we should really call a press agent to have a photographer?
Starting point is 00:52:29 No need. There's a scene, the parking garage, chase scene, where there's an empty parking garage, but when they need people to be in trouble, there's a homeless person with a shopping cart, someone with a bunch of presents, and two people having sex in the back of a station wagon. Well, that's the Russian guy who, for no reason, is like, I believe in Paris Stroyga. I'm like, okay, that's a Russian thing. It was current at the time.
Starting point is 00:52:53 It does not apply here. And Sylvester Stallone's greatest line ever, perhaps, about you're obviously haven't been watching your... Judging by the food in your refrigerator, you obviously haven't been judging your weight. Watching your weight, perhaps you've been too busy keeping your eye on the evidence. You used to set us up Doesn't make any sense when I saw that movie in the theaters recently recently a couple years ago Yeah, yeah, when we went to go see it the audience spontaneously applauded at that line
Starting point is 00:53:22 Man that is this maybe the citizen can of stupid movies. It was a movie that we talked about doing for our next live flop house event and we couldn't do it because of the venue was going to do it for another reason. But maybe if we do another flop house event in the future, it will be far enough ahead that we can do it. That would be awesome. Anyway, last email of the night from Ashley, name with held it's titled Elliott the killer and It's one line all caps the the the me came movie one line all caps
Starting point is 00:53:53 Where is Simon Fisher? so clearly Elliott's rain of The last person to add Simon Fisher is the dead bodies you've left in your wake. How many dead bodies? Name any of them. Well, as we've established before, Danielle's former bow. Yep. Your previous, the woman who held your job before, daily show.
Starting point is 00:54:13 No, she's. She's currently still alive. All murdered by you. You're like a talented Mr. Ripley guy. And Andy Rooney, there's some suspicions. Andy Rooney, yeah. I am. Tannels and Mr. Kalan over here.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Well, thank you. I am very talented. I'm what's called a double threat, but not threatening in a killing way. I am a writer performer. Okay. And what do you perform? Mostly, like surgeries. Oh, yeah, I was harboring. Yeah. So I perform one man shows based on classic literature, hop on pop, for instance, the little engine that could, what I wonder is, what if the engine couldn't, and I take the show from there?
Starting point is 00:54:53 The novelization of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the movie. Eh, well, the second one, I couldn't get the rights to the first. Yeah. So I do a novel, a one man show of secret of the use. I play both Toka and Razar. All right. And I have a reinterpretation of the Ninja Wrap that I think you'll find quite delightful.
Starting point is 00:55:09 So let's do a quick run around to recommend some movies that we actually liked that we've seen. That instead of country strong, maybe you should spend your time on these. Yeah, good news. Recommendations. I'll quickly go. I have two very fast.
Starting point is 00:55:25 I saw a screening, a pre screening of a young adult, starting Charlize Theron and Pat and Oswald. And it is the best. We've made fun of both. You've never seen, right? No, no, no. I was going to say we've made fun of both Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody on the show before. I don't know, made fun of both Jason right men and Diablo Cody on
Starting point is 00:55:46 the show before we've offered we've said that they are overrated I don't think that they're untalented people like we call them like poopy face or something I might have they have I don't want to say that I didn't think it caught out in the live they both have genuine talent but have been over praised wildly. And young adults, I think, is actually the best thing that either of them has done. So I enjoyed that. And I saw, it was either, I can't remember the last word, it was either Machete, Maidens and Leafs, Machete Maidens unchained.
Starting point is 00:56:20 It's a documentary about a period of time when exploitation movies were made in the Philippines. It was the same people who made the the osploitation movie, not Hollywood. And there's a lot of stuff about Roger Corman. And it's just a fun documentary that's on streaming Netflix. Sounds good. Elliot, do you have something? I'll recommend also to movies. One is my monthly closely watched films screening series Wednesday, December
Starting point is 00:56:46 7th, 730 pm at 92. I try Becca for those of you who are going to meet New York, I'm showing the Scarlet Empress starting Marlena Dietrich, the craziest and best in my opinion of the Marlena Dietrich Joseph von Sternberg collaborations about how Kath and the Great became Zarina of all the rushes. And it's insane. It's basically the only time in history I think that all the resources of a studio film were used for the uncensored expression of one man's bizarre kind of fetishes and obsessions. And it's really good and a lot of fun. And I'm going to be joined with my special guest Michael Cuperman, the cartoonist. He has it from like Snake and Bacon's Cartoon Cabray, Tails designed a thrizzle in his
Starting point is 00:57:24 new book Mark Twain's Autobiography, 1910-2010. And for those of you at home, I'm gonna recommend a movie called, I Wake Up Screaming, starring Betty Grable and Victor Mature. It's basically a film noir movie, but it's from before the film noir movement really started, but it's a really crazy, like, fast-paced,
Starting point is 00:57:43 murder mystery thriller. And it's a lot of fun. So the Scarlet Empress, December 7th, and I wake up screaming whenever you choose to watch it. Stuart? Um, well, recently there was Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving to me is a time where you eat a lot of food, and then you watch a lot of movies. One of those movies I watched.
Starting point is 00:58:04 You're selling us on movies. Movies guys. They're little windows of imagination. I think you need an intro to segment to movies. So I watched the movie Zaps with Scott Day, I would really aim. Sure. Classic.
Starting point is 00:58:20 And I really enjoyed it. So the best salami-based pot hallucinations seen spending movies. Yep, Scatman, Crowthers is a pretty awesome minute. and I really enjoyed it. So the best salami-based pot hallucination scenes been in movie. Yep, Skatman, Kruathers is a pretty awesome minute. And I really, what I was wondering in the movie is if his superpower wasn't telekinesis, if his superpower was like he was just really strong, would the scenes where he like picks up and pulls guys pants down
Starting point is 00:58:44 and throws them around and rips girl shirts off? Would that be creepier than if he's just using his mind? I think so, yes. So it would be creepier if he was just a strong guy roughing girl shirts off. Because that's conceivable. That's just a thing some crazy strong person could do. What if he could like shoot out fire and the fire burn their shirts off? That seems dangerous.
Starting point is 00:59:03 Yeah, they would probably, yeah, there'd be bubbling skin. I mean, the thing that would not be. So the best option is that he's got telekinesis, and he uses power almost exclusively to rip your shirt off. I mean, it is still a form of sexual assault. Yeah. He's lost over in the film. Oh, okay. Especially in the crescendo of the movie.
Starting point is 00:59:22 That's crazy. But where all the shirts are getting ripped off. To be fair, he was hit on the head. Yeah. So he loses control. But his subconscious wants to see boobs. Yeah. And and butts. Let's not forget the butts.
Starting point is 00:59:34 I was a little shocked at how few boobs you see in that movie. For a movie. Yeah, with the focus, a guy who can rip real shirts off. And I mean, this was a mainstream movie. This was not the point of this movie was to like show a little boobs and then go on from there. This wasn't like, you know, well, you don't see that many boobs until the very end of the movie. We don't say that to the finish. Come on. Well, boobs. A boobs. Plotion. I think whatever the case, he is a sexual assault fiend. But with if he was using fire or his
Starting point is 01:00:05 own strength, then there's no reason for the police to not just arrest him right there, because everyone will have seen him do it. Okay. So it's like an American psycho type thing where you almost can't help himself. But also like nobody knows how it's happening. So okay. It's like everyone is kind of, huh? What? As opposed to mad at him for doing this or having like is kind of, huh? What as opposed to mad at him for doing this or having like Salani-based hallucinations. Yeah, I mean, that's an American psycho thing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now we finally prosecuted Scott Bayo. I think we can sign off for this episode. We still have to do this. Oh, real quick. I got to promote a zap again. Go to go to Charlene's bar on Monday nights for trivia night. All right. so if you're in Brooklyn,
Starting point is 01:00:45 if you're in Brooklyn, look up Charlene's bar on flatbush, go to trivia night, you'll probably see me and maybe these two turds possibly less likely now that you called us turds. Inspire you don't want to be better at trivia. Oh yeah, you won't call you a turd anymore. Wait, but what's my reward then? Not being a turd, you'll be a transformer. Oh, that's awesome. That's really better than being a turd. Unless I'm one of those crappy transformers. So when we study up on our trip,
Starting point is 01:01:12 you can do a sign out. You can be sound wave if you want. Can I be the one that turns into the cassette? Yeah, well, wait, which one? Guys, the break dancing one. Okay. For the flop, I've been Dan McCoy. I've been steward Wellington. I've been Stuart Wellington.
Starting point is 01:01:25 I am as always remaining, Ellie Kaelin, unless I'm the transformer who turns into an audio cassette. Good night. Oh, crap. Oh, little Sierra Nevada border. My as George Lucas talking to Dan about a Sierra Nevada. Oh, so low laser swords. Well, you see, Sierra Nevada is a character in the Star Wars prequel.

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