The Flop House - The Flop House: Episode #94 - Conan the Barbarian

Episode Date: January 14, 2012

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:30 - A lot of nonsense about bears.0:33 - 2:56 - The usual bullshit.2:57 - 32:08 - Conan hears the lamentations of the Flop House.32:09 - 38:24 - Final ju...dgments38:251 - 52:34  - Flop House Movie Mailbag52:35 - 54:36 - We plug our LIVE EVENT.54:37 - 57:01 - The sad bastards recommend.57:02 - 58:35- Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 In this episode we discuss Conan, the barbarian, because Crom demanded it. Hey everyone, welcome to the floppouse. I'm Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And my name is Elliot Kaelin and that's who I am. Yep. Back from the abyss guys. I'm really hung over today. So can you take it easy? You know, well, there are best you guys do most you guys do most of the talking we didn't do anything yet It seems like very pramptive to I'm just letting you know take it easy on me No jokes my expense and but make most of the jokes and I'll just hang out about jokes of the expense of the hat You're wearing right now. No, you can you can wait. No, that's still against me though. No, no, is the hat hung over? No, no, no, just me. I'm wearing a hat because it keeps my brains in my head.
Starting point is 00:01:10 So I've had my ears. A guy, I read a story about a guy who had to do that because he was attacked by a bear. Wait, what? He was attacked by a bear and he had to hold his hat really tight on his head to keep his brains from falling out. He survived though. It was a bear with it. It was a bear with one of the skulls all it saw.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Yeah, the bear was tree panning him to open up his third eye. And it went a little out of control. And the bear ran away because he had a record. And he didn't want to get picked up one more time. The bear subscribes just some really out there. A new age. Yeah, the 40 and times and to the work though. No, his third eye remained closed. In fact, it was more closed. And that's why uh... no okay third eye remained closed in fact it was more closed that's why he founded the band third eye blind
Starting point is 00:01:48 okay interesting it's a mess so that was a bit of nonsense to start with that was the each one storytellers and now i'm with storytellers where they tell their own story right i thought that was my story take off mask reveal on the guy from
Starting point is 00:02:05 Third Eye Blinds. Don't know his name. So let's just call him James Smogan. It's called blindy. Blindy McThirrd Eye. I mean, that bin, I mean, that name is like a prophecy. Yeah. Like the movie, the prophecy or the other movie, the prophecy, prophecy to or prophecy. Yeah. or the other movie, the prophecy. Prophecy, too. Or prophecy. Yeah. A movie. Yeah, so we talk about movies.
Starting point is 00:02:29 So what are we doing today, Dan? You're the host hosted. In general, what we do at this show is we watch a movie, perhaps a bad movie, and then we discuss it. I mean, usually it's bad, though. It's either, I mean, that's the... Pull of financially or... Well, it's a flop.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Stuart, we don't prejudge, but we assume that things that we see are probably more than that. And the disappointment today was we were gonna watch one that we thought we might enjoy. And, and spoiler alert. Spoiler alert, didn't live up to our expectations. We watched a movie called Conan.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Can't stop. The barbarian. Oh. Yeah, Conan and the barbarian. Conan. The barbarian to I wish it was called Conan the barbarian 2011 and it was like basically Beastmaster too and he just was in our modern day times. Yeah, like in the Masters of the Universe movie. Yeah, well the weird thing about the Masters of the Universe movie is that it was a fourth world new gods script that basically just got turned into it masters the universe movie.
Starting point is 00:03:27 So is that weird or just a fun fact? Well, if you watch masters universe now, and if you're familiar with Jack Kirby's new gods comics that DC did, you'll notice that the characters make much more sense as those characters. That he, man, is Orion, Skeletor is Dark Side. That's why laser beams come out of Skeletor's eyes, that kind of stuff. And where does Courtney Cox fit into all this she was picked out of a crowd by Bruce
Starting point is 00:03:50 Springsteen to dance with him on a stage thank you and we have him to thank for her career yep that's for sure so but Conan you are a Stewart I was I I was pretty You're a big Conaniac. You're you're a conehead. That's that's what they call fans of Conan No, I you know, I'm a I'm a big fan of Conan the movie Conan the Barbarian and 2011 and Well, second I have the Jon's I'm gonna come to that you know the John the John Melius Is that a? John Melius Arnold Schwarzenegger Jimmy Earl Jones and Dino D little or Rentus. Yeah As block master extraordinaire. Well, he also made a number of good movies
Starting point is 00:04:37 He produced Lestrada for crying and he and also the The Robert Howard stories. The original basis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of the character. I like all that stuff. So I went into this movie with no expectations or personal feelings on the matter. It wasn't like you had a deep investment already
Starting point is 00:04:59 in your preconceived notions of the character. Yeah, it's not like I saw the trailers for this movie and complied loudly to everyone within listening distance preconceived notions the character. Yeah, it's not like I saw the trailers for this movie and complied loudly to everyone within listening distance or if I was on the subway platform looking at a poster that somebody had scribbled boobs on. All right, and I would complain to them that it didn't look right. So before we get into your deep personal attachment, Elliot, maybe you could quickly sum up this movie.
Starting point is 00:05:21 I bet you could do it in about 30 seconds. Much quicker than in the last couple of ones. So we open an ancient hyboria where Morgan Freeman, surprisingly, I don't know how they landed him. Like that's probably a third of the budget. Now rates that this is a long time ago. He does about 30 seconds worth of work in the field. Yeah, basically.
Starting point is 00:05:38 A long time ago in a world far, far away, there was, it's a lot of war in tribes. There was a magic mask that this guy used to rule the world. All the tribes ganged up to stop him and the mask was shattered and everyone was given a piece of the mask. It's basically the same story as the beginning of fellowship of the ring, right? And so there's an evil warlord who's going around looking for the pieces of the mask. We end up in a Samaria, the Norsan wastes, where there's a barbarian group of people. Ron Pearlman seems to be their leader slash wise man. And his son is Conan, who at first you think is going to be kind of like a clumsy boob, but then you see he like single handedly kills three opposing tribesmen
Starting point is 00:06:21 while keeping an egg in his mouth. Yeah, he told him like and they're grown men. Yeah. Like grown animal men, and he just totally destroys them. And so he's all badass from childhood. And as you said, apparently the proof of who's a badass in this universe is the same as like a home-ack class in high school. Oh, yeah, that they can keep an egg around for a day and not break it.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Yeah. They're ready for a parent to it now. And smashing open the heads of guys who look like last of the Moh break it. Yeah. They're ready for a shot for a parent to it now. And smashing open the heads of guys who look like last of Mohicans guys. Yep. So those are Mohicans. Oh, okay, Mohicans. Mohicans like Mohicans son.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Yeah. So he values there. So the bad guy and his army come in and kill everybody in the village, they torture Ron Pearlman, the dad, and take the piece of the mask. And a really long, mumbly scene. Everyone m everybody in the village. They torture Ron Pearlman, the dad, and take the piece of the mask and a really long, mumbly scene. Everyone mumbles in this movie. It's like a mumble core sword and sorcery or they have crazy accents. Yeah, or they
Starting point is 00:07:14 have crazy accents or their teeth are full of sharp pieces of metal. So you can't really hear them talk very well or one guy has his nose cut off. So you can't, he has a weird voice. And it's a real shame because the dialog, the sparkling dialogue is really the delight of this film. Well, Tom Stopper was brought in to do an uncredited rewrite. Oh, really? Yeah, so that's why there was all that stuff about relativity and fractal science
Starting point is 00:07:35 and English poetry of the late 19th century. Wow. The more you know, it's doing it. It's a bit of an ask. Yeah, it's a lot of walkitoks. A lot of walkitoks in the middle of to you. Yeah, middlebrow everybody on their a game. So at Conan's whole tribe is destroyed, but he escapes. Some reason they let him live. I think out of respect for his
Starting point is 00:07:56 feistiness. Yeah. He vows revenge. We cut to, I don't know, 10, 15, 20 years later, he's a grown man played by Cal Drogo, with super pecs and not a very good actor. And he and his black friends, free slaves who are topless women and ride around on a party boat. Conan then hears word that this evil warlord with an enormous army who is going around destroying every kingdom in the world
Starting point is 00:08:26 Conan has no idea who he is and so but he hears of his name and goes on a quest for avenge along the way He picks up a lady monk played by what's your name Rachel Nichols Rachel Nichols of GI Joe the rise of Cobra who is has is the last in a line of descendants going back to some crazy magic priesthood and the villain needs the full mask and her pure blood to bring back his witch wife who will then give him the power to control the world. And so Conan and them run around a lot.
Starting point is 00:08:59 The bad guy's daughter is Rose McGowan who's kind of an evil witch with no hair on a far head and sharp nail talons or eyebrows and talons like the lady death strike or Freddie and they just kind of fight and run around and fight each other and in the end they fight and then Conan wins. He puts on the magical mask that does literally nothing and then dies. The bad guy puts on the magical mask fights Conan for a while. He starts calling the spirit of his dead witch wife into the body of Rachel Nichols, and then brags to Conan for a long time and then Conan knocks him off a bridge. Yep, he brags to him just long enough for Conan to knock him off a bridge. And the whole fortress falls apart and they leave.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Also along the way, Conan and Rachel Nichols totally do it. Or Rachel Nichols' body double. Rachel Rachel Nichols body double Rachel Nichols body double Because according to Wikipedia she will not do nudity in movies You found out that fun fact. I looked it up because Dan was like surely she doesn't have a no nudity clause Why doesn't she just get naked? I mean she's known she's known to be such a fine Thespian who would never do something like pose and say a men's magazine or basically rely on a lad mag. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:12 Yeah. Yeah. rely on a cleavage bearing top in all of her roles. In every movie she's ever made. So you know, I just in this movie it seemed. I will mention that there was a battle between Conan and our army of sand men who do a lot of flips and stuff. Sand people if you will.
Starting point is 00:10:30 And they're not sand people. Those are Tuscan Raiders. They ride single file to hide their numbers on the band. On Bantas, but they are scared away by the call of the what Kray dragon. What is it called? Yeah, somewhere. And there's also a part with a tentacle monster who decides to basically ignore Conan and kill all of Conan's enemies. Yeah. They're old, they're old, they're old buddies. I'm
Starting point is 00:10:51 begging the day. Give him the tentacle monster. Yeah. Him and Tenty. The bad guy is first mistake. The bad guy is someone's a tentacle monster. I'm guessing because he's been bored sitting down on the dungeon by himself all day. And then, uh, yeah, most of the action, most of the scene is shots of either the tentacles killing bad guys or just shots of the one bad guy smiling and laughing. You don't really know the Conan's there for a while. There's a bunch of hench monsters like, like, kind of grotesque guys who in the, you see them all in the beginning in the village and Conan kind of swears revenge on each of them, but like most of them don't even get names and you barely see them.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Like they should be kind of the bosses to each level, but they just kind of come and go as well. There was there was no's list and there was two three no's list to the two thing was Rimo. He was the only one I think who got a name and a personality. It was a big black guy and big monster man, and Rosemar Gowen, Lady Death Strike. Yeah, I think that's it. Yeah, and then the head bad guy, whose name I've always made. Lord Murmur Shom.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Yeah, mumbly man. So Stuart, get back to you, okay? Because you clearly have a real personal connection with the material. So Stuart, yes. Let's get back to you, okay? Because you clearly have a real personal connection with the material. You are part Samarion, is that right? Yes. I really don't like talking about my background.
Starting point is 00:12:14 I mean, I know you can't handle yourself. You're not religious, you don't practice worshiping crime, but you do ethnically and culturally identify. I don't necessarily believe all the spiritual mumbo jumbo, but I do, you know, I kind of like the, uh, the rituals of it all. Oh, I will mention this movie started on a really high note. There's a battle going on and Conan's mother is pregnant and she stabbed in the belly with a sword.
Starting point is 00:12:42 And so Conan's father, he's like, oh no, what am I gonna do? And she goes, I wanna see my son before I die. So he basically gives her a Scissorian section on the battlefield. And she names him Conan and then dies. And then I guess in the middle of a battle Ron Proman just holds his baby up.
Starting point is 00:12:57 But that's because Conan is battle born. He's born on the battlefield. Should've been called a Konanian section, right? No. I'll stay could still say C section. Yeah. But I mean, it happened pre-season, right? I mean, tech, there were a lot of places
Starting point is 00:13:14 where there's just kind of pillars and togas. So I don't know if it was before or after-season. This could be opposed to popular. A lot of Styrofoam boulders. This could be, it would be a very different movie, but the same movie if it's just opened with like a computer readout that said like earth 2245 a.d
Starting point is 00:13:31 After the after the disaster you know something like that You can still do Morgan Freeman do the narration Yeah, I've done a nuclear blast Earth became a wasteland Aliens and monsters. Not a same way. Roam the Earth. Morgan Freeman has a Scottish accent.
Starting point is 00:13:50 One man had to take the wasteland and team it. Who's the man now, Conan? Okay, now I'm going to be the one for the tip of your hand there. I found the cure for Conan, but I lost it. Tell like you lose your keys.. Tell like you lose your keys. Yeah, like you lose your keys. Oh, Sean Canary. Highlander 2 with a quickening.
Starting point is 00:14:12 He just advertising other movies in the middle of the game. He was in that. Yeah. Welcome to Entrapment. If you want to see another movie with me, why not go watch League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? If you want to see me to flop, see me in a real flop. Zardos. Just gonna run around in a diaper for a day movie.
Starting point is 00:14:38 I got a mustache in a red diaper and a gun, what more do you need? And boots that go up to my knees. It's a floating stone head in that film for God's sake. For God's sake, what more do you need to see it? There's a whole sequence where I just sit there and a cave with my wife and we turn into skeletons. What do I have to tell you to get you to see this movie? I would love it if that was the trailer for Zarda. Just in describing it.
Starting point is 00:15:04 There's some crazy shit in this film. We wear masks and rape people. It turns out it's the Wizard of Oz in the end. Quite ascribed in it. You can't even believe it. You have to see it. There's all sorts of psychic shit with these women. I don't even know what was going on. But I'm in like a cocoon or something.
Starting point is 00:15:23 You gotta see this. It's amazing. When does it come out, look it up. Oh, it is this will blow your mind. Who's the Zardos now, dog? So wait, is there a trailer for a movie made a long time? Yeah. Yeah. I know this is for the re-release of Zardos. yeah. If you haven't seen it, you owe it to yourself. Yeah, for Zardos 3D. Zardos 3D?
Starting point is 00:15:49 You'll think that the giant stone head is just flying out of the screen at you. It's amazing. This is more and more like a Sean Cosby. Have a Jello pudding pop when you see zardos. We're shot on Kodak film. Okay, so none of this happened in Conan. No, I wish it had. Sean Connery just wanders the wasteland advertising as old movies.
Starting point is 00:16:20 So, but it takes place in a different universe or something, right? Because there's no hyperborea, not that I know of, England or something. Well, it's very possible that that period of time was just lost into history. Lost the myths. Yeah. Yeah. As I understand it, myths, you know, getting the way a lot of this. They do, because you get addicted to it and it's like, you don't even really see much.
Starting point is 00:16:43 It's just these computer generated kind of still images, but you want to click through it and find out the answer to the puzzle. Yeah, okay. Like, Mist really gets in the way. Yeah. You should just get the strategy guide and just go through it point by point. It's really long. It's a long game. And the strategy guide looks like a, like a phone book.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Oh, well, it is a phone book. You can call people who have finished the game and they can tell you what to do next. You'll be all the tricks. The tricks and tips of the mispros. I'm laughing. I'm laughing. The serians they call themselves. I'm laughing less because it's funny and more
Starting point is 00:17:14 because it is stupid. But anyway, things for the judgment. That's really unnecessary. Oh, it's a safe place. So I guess that was a bad, bad tangent. Is what you're saying? Yep. frightfully unfit. I'm a bad tangent. So I guess that was a bad bad tangent is what you're saying. Yep.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Rightfully unfilied. Not a good bad tangent. Okay. So Conan the barbarian. So Stuart, what'd you say? Stuart, you were, yeah, I was trying to lead you into a little discussion. Okay. So you were trying to force you to talk much like you asked to the beginning of the show. Don't make me talk too much. No, but I'm going to expressly someone who was expressing, ignoring your wishes. As someone who is sort of bored through half of the original movie
Starting point is 00:17:48 and has never read the books, okay? I need you to guide me. That's you, okay. Well, the... He's your padawanler. The things I like about the movie, obviously, the soundtracks great. The original yourself.
Starting point is 00:18:01 The original, yeah. And I don't know, it feels kind of, it feels more like it's taking place in a different world. You were saying during this movie while we're watching that there's an exotic quality to the old. Yeah, I mean there's the first what half hour of the movie has maybe like four lines of dialogue. And they're all Zodos, which is really weird. And in the old movie, you get the feeling that the guy who made the movie, John Millius, really kind of believes the philosophy of these characters, kind of like force and violence as a way of justice. Well, because he is a legendary crazy person. He's a crazy gun nut.
Starting point is 00:18:42 And one part of like, and the setting up of the bad guys in the beginning of the original film, they do a much better job of kind of creating characters out of nothing like, Hey, this guy's got a hammer. This guy's got a mustache and then steals the sword. This guy's James Earl Jones. What's he doing here? And like, I don't know, you get the sense of there's a kind of strangeness and weirdness to like these characters. You don't have a voice over in the beginning saying, in the olden days of hyperborea, then this happened. And they don't.
Starting point is 00:19:16 This movie really rams it down your throat with as soon as possible that this is this revenge story where Conan's only goal is to get revenge for his dead father. And that's never really been the character. Like, obviously, he takes revenge when he can. Like, who wouldn't? I mean, he wouldn't. Yeah, it's right there. It's like a T-Ball. But he has a lust for life in the story. Yeah, and he's like, he's a for winches. Yeah. So he's looking to steal winches, steal babes hearts like you win things you turn. I lust for winches. He fucks winches. How did you design this poorly system? I've got to know. You just take the middle screw thing out of them and you know.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Whoa. Dan knows way too much about having sex with winches. You give that one. Sorry. I'm very sorry. I took us down this road. I didn't realize it would end in horror. That wench you're good, Roger, he has to. Okay, so you were saying, come on, the character. No, no, no, no, the character is not, uh, I find at least the focus is not the revenge aspect. Obviously, he takes it when he can, but more he's just this like larger than life, almost like animal, like, base lusts.
Starting point is 00:20:25 He's a fantasy figure. Yeah. And I didn't really, I don't feel they really grabbed that in this remake. It seems like he's mainly there to, like to boringly go after the guys who killed his dad who had their, who had their own revenge interests at heart. And there's really no sense of revenge as like a pointless exercise. I don't know. There's also, I feel that if they had had a better actor in the lead, maybe he could have gotten across more of that personality of like kind of the mercenary out for himself who he's
Starting point is 00:20:57 like your fantasy figure of like what you could do in a world like this where there is no law and where you have the abilities and the strength. And instead, he just kind of felt like, uh, but except for like that kind of a third rate, you know, towards Nager. Yeah. But except for the topless pirate party at the beginning of the movie, that was pretty great. There's, there's really nothing in the movie as written that would even lend itself to
Starting point is 00:21:20 that because it really is. Because he's so single mindedly focused on revenge. Yeah. Like, even they could have made some of his motives less clear. They could have made it so that he thought he was actually going to try and sell this magical monk lady back to the guy. Yeah. Or at least make her feel like he was going to actually trade her life for money.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Or even try to give him some side adventures. When you look at a movie like, you know, Princess bride has more of a sense of characters on an epic adventure who get mixed up in different things and maybe their motives aren't all pure. And you'd think Coney and the Barbarian would be a lot darker and bigger in scope than the Princess bride. Well, and I think one of the things
Starting point is 00:21:59 that helps with Princess bride is that you get an actual sense of geography with it. Yes. They're traveling through a specific area and then they move to a different specific area instead of everything. Like this movie, they show these different cities and they give every city a name,
Starting point is 00:22:15 but they all are interchangeable and apparently, like as you said, maybe a couple hours ride from each other. It takes no time to get anywhere. All the, it's like this ancient world where everything's either a forest, a coast, or a desert. And they are all, they're all within like three hours of each other. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:33 You know, there's, and you have, these are no, unlike, unlike Star Wars, where every planet is either a forest, a desert, or an ice planet. But that, but like they're totally different worlds that different scenes take place on, and you have a made up bullshit science fiction reason why you can travel quickly between them. Yeah. And you don't know maybe the other side of Endor look totally different.
Starting point is 00:22:52 I just think it's funny that it really showed a tiny bit of hop. I just think that's a funny thing about Star Wars. It's just like every planet has one kind of ecosystem. But like in our solar system, like Earth is unique in that it has multiple ecosystems. Yeah. Like the surface of Mars, pretty much the same all over. Yeah, it looks like Tatooine.
Starting point is 00:23:09 Yeah, exactly. And the surface of Neptune, for instance, where the moons of Jupiter are just like Hoth. In a way, Star Wars is very accurate. There are tauntons. It's crawling with muampas. Mars is full of jawas and ponda babas. Not to mention your doctor,
Starting point is 00:23:30 evasons and your star locks and don't forget the the dark helmets with his Schwartz abilities. But that's a different thing. Wait, what? No, you're thinking of something else. Okay, well, we'll talk about you get your barfs. And your pizza's that pizza's that Thanks for
Starting point is 00:23:50 You got your yogurts Andrew's princesses And you're whatever that robot that Joan Rivers is the voice of his calls I'm glad that just saying things that exist in the movie makes us laugh. When that movie is Space Falls, you remember all the great jokes that are in Space Falls and how much they make you laugh. But yeah, the geography of this world just feels very haphazard and not real. There's no sense of like that they really traveled on this quest because they just kind of walk around. And if you're gonna make all the effort to name,
Starting point is 00:24:27 like not only name the cities, but like put it up on the screen, we have no idea where these places are. They make no effort to actually give you a sense of the geography of it. And they're all running through Roman columns or for a sword desert. Yeah, you wanted to be like a fantasy book where you can flip back to the front
Starting point is 00:24:46 where they got the fucking sweet map. Exactly. With like a little cartoon mermaid drone in the corner where they going now. Oh, I get it. They got to they got to go through this those tree symbols. I guess that's the mountains. They got to go through the weeping forest to get to the mountains of voting. This. Says this map isn't a scale. I don't know who to trust anymore. I guess what I'm saying is they didn't put very much level of of nuance or anything into the script or movie. Yeah, well, everything just kind of rambled along until they needed something to happen.
Starting point is 00:25:22 It did kind of feel like a cone in the barbarian movie made by people who weren't that familiar with cone in the barbarian. And you were just like, yeah, we kind of get it. Like he's a long haired guy with a sword and then he fights some other guys and they're wearing like outfits from a water world. Somebody, somebody stole his dad's sword. He wants that thing back and he wants to kill him with it.
Starting point is 00:25:39 He probably has like a magic ring that he can use to make giant green fists or something out of it. As weird to some degree because doing skinless guy. If you look at like the Wikipedia page, I talk about how this went through years, seven years of development and they like were really determined that they're gonna make an R-rated Conan movie. It was certainly R-rated. There's blood all over. No, and that's one of the things I did like about it is they did make an effort to make
Starting point is 00:26:05 it to not, you know, like make it less brutal. Like that, that, that was not part of the thing. Like, we got to indeed brutal. We got to try to, we're not part of the 13th, sorry, PG the, PG the 13th is up. But, but it seems like in all that time developing it, they could have figured out like, okay, what is this Conan thing? Well, it also, it also- Well, Conan needs more topless slave women, not just in the beginning.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Not just in one scene. Yeah, you don't want to get- Throughout. You don't want to get your guys all worked up and then not give them more slave- they could have thrown those in later on. Well, it sounds like from the Wikipedia entry, it makes a sound like- They're working on a script at one studio for a long time and then the rights move to a different studio and at a certain point they just threw out the old version and
Starting point is 00:26:51 Just wrote whatever and maybe they kept like one element or two elements. We need a Conan movie right now It's time to do a Conan for the 21st century America is hungering for another Conan movie So and there's a lot of stupid bullshit, like making up this magical skull mask that the bad guy's trying to get, and he gets it, and then he puts the Virgin Blood on there, or whatever, it's not Virgin Blood. It's not Virgin Blood, because we saw her totally,
Starting point is 00:27:16 totally banging with Conan. Yeah. He totally put his sword in her forge. Yeah. As they say, Or the ice that made his temperate his steel. Both. say, or the ice that made his a tempered his steel. Both. We learn in the beginning that the magic of the mystery of steel is that it takes both fire and ice to make it strong. This is never brought up again.
Starting point is 00:27:34 Mm-hmm. One of the mysteries of Pittsburgh. It takes both fire and ice to make a hoagie. But that's I mean, that's they called grinders there? I don't know. That's even one of the things, sort of the mysteries. Like, one of the grays. Let's take, let's say. One of the only bits of dialogue in the original movie in the first half hour is Zartone and his dad explaining the riddle of steel to him.
Starting point is 00:27:56 And that's, that's this awesome, like, memorable moment. And yet they just kind of, they now only change it, but they make it something stupid. They, yeah, it's very perfunctory. It's a very perfunctory movie. You do get like for every neat moment, like someone getting their hand cut off or Ron Pearlman having. Which is saying guys flipping around. Or molten metal being poured into Ron Pearlman's beard. It's like there's a lot of just, it's like they couldn't even be bothered, you know. I mean, there was a scene where like a horseman
Starting point is 00:28:27 is going through an arch and Conan pulls up a huge big chain. And punch is the horse in the face with it. That was pretty great. That was pretty good. And, you know, I'm sure there are other good parts that I'm forgetting the most. I like the bit where they freed all the slaves
Starting point is 00:28:42 and the more topless women. Yeah, there's tablets women. win the one male slave was like, you destroyed all our food. And Conan's answer to that is, we'll have a party. And they do. So what? So let's dance.
Starting point is 00:28:59 I like that version of Conan, where he just goes around different places and like frees people and they have a party. That's, then that feels more like the old Conan. Like he was all about... They could have given us 20, 30 minutes of that, and I would have enjoyed it. It makes you wish that they just...
Starting point is 00:29:13 They cut out all the bad guy stomping around, specifying about how he's gonna bring his dead wife back to life or something. Yeah. And then weird eyebrowless Rosemite gal wouldn't be like, oh, I feel her spirit in me. She does a lot of just standing like walking around in the background of shots, you know, like a little sway swanning about it. It's just her joke. Stur from the dark night. Yeah. She was going to be. She was going to revolutionize the way we
Starting point is 00:29:40 thought of Conan the barbarian villains. Yeah. And then juxtaposed. It was the one that I think the saddest moment was when you said, she looks like kind of a rose McGowan type and Dan looked it up on his phone. I was like, Oh, that is rose McGowan. Far she's fallen from the days of what, what did she do? What planet terror? I guess so. Yeah. Charmed like doom generation. As far as I'm concerned, planet terror is a pedical. I'm not sure. Yeah, you know what?
Starting point is 00:30:07 I kind of get her mixed up with Christina Ricci, I guess, is what it comes down to. This dark eyed Brunette is with huge foreheads. Yeah, that's pretty much what it is. Very pale. We've their gold five heads on Wikipedia. I'm not familiar with that. They have a one bigger than a four head.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Does five head have a Wikipedia page? Yeah, I'm sure it does. Yeah, the Batman villain five head. The man with five head. Five head goes west. The American tailed two. The streets are paved with cheese, I guess. Pepperjack out of it. They didn't even have paved streets in the old west. Sound Western style. Five head goes west. He shoots a seven shooter. Because it's one more. Everything's one more. It's one more.
Starting point is 00:30:58 Yeah. Polaroid camera. He shoots a seven. This is just a two horse town. Yeah. This time they're picking up for the three of us. It's a five-head gimmick. That's that everything's just one more.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Yeah. It's like a terrible like old bod don't you? Yeah. This Domino's pizza better arrived within 31 minutes or less. I'll check it on his pizza tracker. TM. TM. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:31:29 And we don't want Dominos to sue us. It was because we didn't mention they have a trademark on pizza tracker. Yeah. We went them while they were sending the noise after us. Yeah. In our dreams. We knew it. We didn't have to avoid that.
Starting point is 00:31:42 So yeah, I was assuming the noise was a Freddie Krugger type. We invades people's dreams when they're thinking about pizza. Is that the case? Here's your pizza bitch I don't know but he's got extreme attitude that no good. Oh cool. Well, that's what you would think of a guy wearing sneakers over his feet He's Thomas Well, I'm sensing a lot of enthusiasm for Conan. So I think that it's it's only right and natural that we go straight to final judgments. Final judgments. Did it. I was just a movie.
Starting point is 00:32:13 Oh, well, secret flop has flop. That's a lot of cat appearance. Is this a movie that you think is a bad, bad movie, a movie with no redeeming facets is a bad bad movie a movie right no redeeming facets a good bad movie like I spent on your grave Yeah, well maybe it depends on what your feelings on I spent on your game Okay, well what about well okay movie with no redeeming features to like nothing but trouble. Yes like that Okay, a bad a good bad movie a movie that you might delight in the humor found in its badness such as like you're the rooms you trolls to
Starting point is 00:32:51 or a movie kind of like self-explanatory guys. I don't understand what's a movie we might like. Do we have those? Do those exist? I guess Bratz. The Grimmest is not not a movie kind of like. It's a movie we love. The near perfect film. It's a movie that I own on DVD. That's not saying that much.
Starting point is 00:33:14 The bar for you did buy a 10 movie set that was just high school TNA movies in the 1980s. Yeah, well, that's just that's that's that's not a good shot. And the dance personal line. The dance Grimmons 2. Look, that's me. Dan's that's that's that's that's that's not shot in the dance personal line Damn, don't get too personal, okay, you don't want the listeners be able to get inside your head I'm sure you like to play good listener males coming from the county jail and you're nervous that one of the criminals down How'd you like to play game? Damn how'd you like to play game a gremlins two game See I'm glad that we mix up jigsaw and Freddie is the same basic guy Yeah, the answer John Glover is that the answer to your question?
Starting point is 00:33:54 Wait, what he's in from Remlins to Yeah, the actor John Glover sure. Yeah Danny lovers brother. Yeah, he's clamp. No, yeah, am. Yeah, we get it. So what are we doing? Yeah, thanks for the fucking Grim ones to trivia. Not even trivia. Just name someone who was in it. I thought you were doing like a like a beginning. Here's a piece. Here's a piece of Jurassic Park trivia. Sam Neal. Yeah. Is that what you're doing? Yeah, that's also a great girl right? Is it a visible man? No, it's a piece of memoirs.
Starting point is 00:34:28 It was a man trivia. Same meal also. Carolina. We've got some balls in your corner. I got some. Oh, man three trivia. Same meal. Zardox trivia?
Starting point is 00:34:40 Sean Connery. Zardox? Yeah, Zardox. Is that the cleaning fluid? That's what I'm saying. Zardox trivia? Sean Connery. Zardox? Yeah, Zardox. Is that the cleaning fluid? That's where the ship, with the port hole of time,
Starting point is 00:34:52 Dax. The Zardox. Oh, nice. Flop house callback. Anyway, look it up. Let's do it. What do you have to say about this movie? Final judgments of wise.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Frighteningly funny. Horror-findingly good, bad. Or spook-ifyingly scary. It's judgment, it's the wise. Frighteningly funny, horrifyingly good bet, or spook-a-fyingly scary. It's not, it's not a joke, tober. I would give it, you know, I would, I'd give it a full-on, wormy boner, probably. Again. Like a real rager.
Starting point is 00:35:17 I mean, how's it wormy and a rager? That's the thing, you gotta figure it out. I mean, it's worm riddled. It's riddled with worm. It didn't know that was what, wormy meant all this time. Yeah. No, I mean, I guess it moved fairly quickly, but it, and it's fairly bloody,
Starting point is 00:35:36 and there is like a weird pirate party in the beginning. I mean, it was, I don't know, like it was pretty crappy, but there's a, there's, Well, it's just asking your opinion, you know, it shouldn't be this difficult. No, like it was pretty crappy, but there's a, there's a, it's just asking your opinion. It shouldn't be this difficult. No, I just don't want to be pinned down to your, your tough categories, your Dan. No, it's fine. Does it help? Yeah, how do you, I want to see you take it? Does it help Stuart to say that I, I'm hovering between bad, bad, and I kind of like this.
Starting point is 00:36:02 Like, because there's stuff in it that I enjoyed. I really actually thought that like, it, uh, for a modern act, good bad then, if it was between those two. Well, good bad I feel like is a bad movie that's silly to watch. Yeah, okay. It's, it's enjoyable because it's so bad that it's funny.
Starting point is 00:36:18 And this is not that. Whereas I feel like this wavers between like things that I genuinely like and things that I dislike. Like there's a lot of boring bullshit in the middle of this movie in particular. But it has second act drag. For an action movie, I kind of appreciate that this is a modern action movie where no one does crazy fucking Resident Evil bullshit. Everything that happens in this movie seems like just a really muscular guy with a sword
Starting point is 00:36:44 and what he would do. Fighting Sand demons. Well, I mean, like, there's fantasy elements, but the actual fighting is- Let's show he never becomes like a kung fu master. Yeah, he's just a fucking barbarian. And there's as- At the gates. As I said before, there's a bunch of topless slave girls.
Starting point is 00:37:01 And you know, there's sand monsters and tentacle creatures, you know, like there's stuff to enjoy. Yeah. I mean, and I have no particular knowledge mask that has a little, like a little anus that sucks up blood. Yeah. You know what, I'm gonna be going with you, Dan, and say this is hovering between bad, bad,
Starting point is 00:37:19 and kind of liked. And to answer your question, Dan, it does make me feel better. All right, thanks. So what are you saying Stuart? I'm saying what you guys are saying. Oh, okay. Because I don't want to, it's make me feel better. All right. Thanks. So what are you saying, Stuart? I'm saying what you guys are saying. Oh, okay. Because I don't want to. It's definitely better.
Starting point is 00:37:28 I'm out of the team. This is definitely more enjoyable than most of the movies we've seen lately. Yeah. And, uh, but it wasn't particularly good, but like there were points in it where we were like, whoa, that was fun. Yeah. Or yeah, a tentacle monster. I hope it does stuff.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Uh, it kind of does. Yeah. It has a lot of potential that it doesn't live up to, but it does have that potential. I like the giant cave that look like a skull. Yeah, we saw that for like three seconds. All right. So before I move on to letters and the war elephants that carry a land ship. Yeah. You see them in the background for like a second. Yeah, part of the army that nobody's heard of. That disappears and never has to be fed. Maybe it's a magic army.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Yeah. Maybe it's all the same guy like all the one guy, like army hammer. In that Facebook movie. Oh, okay. All right, enough of that. You're right. Why would we bother?
Starting point is 00:38:21 With ridiculous tangents on the flop house. So before we move into letters just a brief note some thank you to Some thank you Just a serving of thank you to Serve six to Andrew C for his donation to the show. Thank you The C stands for champion. Yeah, or charity. Was that the only donation to thank for?
Starting point is 00:38:48 Yes, that was the only one. All right. I don't complain about. I, you know, someone's. Some of the give they can. I'll play the bad cop. All right.
Starting point is 00:38:57 In my new hit play bad cop. If, but guys, we got a lot of letters. Okay, so read them out. Read them out,. Oh, okay, so we'll read them out. Fucking read them out. Mailbag man. This first one's from George. Letter time. Slop house letter time.
Starting point is 00:39:10 Get the letters. Get a mouse. Read them all. Stable up and down every day at work. Letters, letters, letters, songs about letters, letters, letters, letters. Okay, like what is your letters? It's time for letters. What when it's time for lunch, I sing like lunch, time,
Starting point is 00:39:28 time to eat lunch. And then when we get down to the lunch room, I talk out loud my interior mind-walk about what I'm gonna eat and what I'm not gonna eat. Like, oh, lasagna, I'll take some of this. Do, do, do, do, do, potatoes, no thanks. Not today, da, da, da, da, da. Just a little taste of what it's like
Starting point is 00:39:42 to work with Elliott Kaling. Personal life to do. You'll realize there are people who have worked with me for nine years, and I've had dealt with this the entire time. Doesn't make it better. Jordan, last name was, Letters! Says, uh, this is an email titled Language,
Starting point is 00:39:58 and it says, I found your show not through the Ungin AV Club, because I'd never heard of it before, but rather through the simple something awful forums Comedy podcast mega thread. I've listened to every episode Enjoying it immensely and look and look forward Anxiously to each new show. Thank you. Though I must say one thing has bothered me Well, before we get to that we appreciate your listening. All right. Well, you may not in a second Elliott oh boy as a professional writer and general pedant Before we get to that, we appreciate your listening. All right, well, you may not in a second. Oh. Elliot.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Oh, boy. As a professional rider and general pedant, you have heard people use and used yourself the phrase chomping at the bit. This is incorrect. What should it be? The correct phrase is to champ at the bit, not chomp. Like Arthur Champion, our donor for today?
Starting point is 00:40:44 Yeah. Though never fear, you're forthcoming apology. We'll be accepted in all we've forgiven. There's so many letters. Lovers that show. So many letters that come in that I assume I'm gonna apologize for something. Well, I do not apologize. I believe in the theory of popular use.
Starting point is 00:40:58 All right. I would, why one is it champion at the bit? Yeah, so let me guess. How what does that mean? It means the same thing is chomping at the bit. Except nobody uses the word champ to mean chomp. Yeah, you don't tell kids a chomp down there, animal crackers or whatever the fuck they eat.
Starting point is 00:41:14 You'll be a great father. So what are you fucking kids eat? Animal crackers, just shut it down. This is your dinner. I'm using my gifts of pre-cognition to guess that the you're a cog yes the next couple of letters are going to call out Elliott for more stuff, Stuart for more stuff, and then praise Dan's other non-plot-houser-layered efforts again. Possibly is just general hand-someness. Oh, you got skills too. I guess
Starting point is 00:41:45 I The all the next letter will have their last name with health Okay, everybody's getting in on it. This is from Wearing way from Sylvia last name with health and she says List of complaints whoa, whoa you open up right look that was there anything? It was they like deer floppers. Here's my list of complaints. No, no, no, no, well, this is the title of the email list. Oh, okay Okay, good Sylvia says that was like it was just
Starting point is 00:42:13 List of complaints one the way no greeting no cellulotation no introduction hesitation she says I'm an OF original flopper nice I've listened to every podcast every week since the very beginning We're sorry and let me tell you your success stinks number one Watch with these new fans fresh off the AV club turnip truck Uh-oh, and you really have to read every over the clever letter. They write you like to number two How come Dan finally got a job that rewards his talent. The decrease in melancholy is unacceptable.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Oh, don't worry, he won't have it long. Number three, Stuart was clearly the sex symbol and now he's married. It's like you guys don't even care about your female fans. And number four, we call him Fee Man's. Number four, No offense to the guest hosts who are all great, but I want to hear you guys stop going out of town. Please change nothing ever again. The house cat can stay. Sincerely, yes.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Oh, you mean our most popular member can stay? Well, Sylvia, we appreciate your listening from the beginning. I, where you have a case of what I call REMitis, where you love the band until they are popular, and then you begin to despise the band. And I would dispute your characterization of us as popular. So that's, I mean, how do you judge popularity? How do you judge popularity?
Starting point is 00:43:42 Is it on the Bieber scale? It is on the Bieber scale, which case we rate negative a thousand and one. We rate negative Bieber fever. We actually cure Bieber fever. And a lot of the time when we're out of town and can't do the podcast, because we're being flown to places without breaks of Bieber fever, so that we can lay our hands on people. And we also cure things in addition to laying our hands on people.
Starting point is 00:44:05 The laying the hands on is just, that's just fond of that. That's how we get paid for the kids. Yeah. That's just for fun, Z's. Yeah. For fun, Z's. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, We won't change. We should go back to the original setup so Elliot can go away.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Oh, no. We'll fly in original podcast member, Simon Fisher, aka Stewart's nemesis. He who shall not be named except just now. Is it true that you defeated Simon in a mirror battle? It was a glass battle. Glass battle with mirrors on it. in a mirror battle. It was a glass battle. With mirrors on it. Do you want to feed him? I think I was the one who was defeated in the end.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Wow. So you ever avenged story of your own? Yeah, I got to go kill him. It's on go. And take my dad's sword. Yeah. This one is titled Where Wolf Satanic Scandal. I like it already. Okay. It has a link to a salon article written by our titled Where Wolf Satanic Scandal. I like it already. OK. It has a link to a salon article written by our friend of the show, Rich Duncan, of the Duncan
Starting point is 00:45:13 Hines Fortune. How his book was founded the scene of a Satanic stabbing threesome. Really? And this was a big story back at the end of November. We're a little behind some of these letters. A big story story I've never heard of it and my job is to make fun of the internet was broken by gocker and then like went around the the like the president in comment on it yeah but there's a link to a slant story
Starting point is 00:45:40 that rich road and beneath that Kristen last name with held writes, weren't these guys on your skin walkers episodes? Are you three part of some satanic werewolf stabbing cult? Yes. Have you been slowly and seriously indoctrinating your listeners with your mournful size and penis jokes and words that sound like each other? And if so, what else are you hiding?
Starting point is 00:46:04 So, what are we hiding? But she says if we're gonna watch that. We love watching those. She does say if one bad movie fan stabs another during an argument over the merits of big money wrestlers versus the brats and the flop houses, pilloried in the press, I will totally stand up for you.
Starting point is 00:46:18 Thank you. All the best for you. Yeah, just clearly, brats is better than big money wrestlers. Yeah, anyone who argues the opposite is crazy. Probably deserves to be stabbed. Wow, I don't know, I will, that's, hold on, let's legally not say that.
Starting point is 00:46:31 Oh yeah. But we do mean it. This is true, Rich Jacken and Bob Powers' book, The Wherewolf's Guide to Life, was found at the scene of a, of a threesome stabbing. Now, what is a threesome stabbing? Well, there's two young ladies. Is it like a Daisy chain of stabbing? There's two young ladies. Some sortesome stabbing. Now, what is a threesome stabbing? Well, there's two young ladies. Is it like a Daisy chain of stabbing?
Starting point is 00:46:46 There's two young ladies. Some sort of stab around. Who have some sort of a disturbed, sort of gothic fixation on what your what-nots. Your muppet, what-nots. Lured in a gentleman over the internet come for some of those things. Those probably difficult.
Starting point is 00:47:06 And there was some consensual cutting and staffing involved and then became less consensual. That's a horrifying story. Yeah, and at the scene, they made a big deal about the fact that the Where Wolf's Guide to Life was a book founded this evening without specifying that it was a humor book. A parody humor book.
Starting point is 00:47:24 And not a guide to stabbing men Yeah, not actually about people who think there were wolves and what they should do Well, how did they comment like was there a copy of that Calvin Hobbes like homicidal jungle cat book as well? I do know that rich that we found a copy of super fudge at the scene of the crime Rich's main complaint about this other than being obviously distressed that his book was found that he got a ton of free publicity. Ladies, is that the free publicity did not add up to any more book sales? That's too bad. Or stabbings.
Starting point is 00:47:55 What? I don't think he wanted more stabbings. For the audience, just so you can know, we're not into any satanic stuff. We're satanic stuff. We are into three sums, however. But just among the three of us, there's a story about it. It's a story that we read it, burn the story, and scrubbed out our own year holes. And then we were never going to talk about it again, Elliot.
Starting point is 00:48:14 We put burning cute tips on our ears, hoping to burn that knowledge out of our brain, didn't work, if only burned it further into my brain. But we all worship our different gods as we mentioned Stuart is Kromish. Yeah. And I of course seek the dark even shadow of the old strange ones. Sure. And Dan, I think you are what Scientologists? Someday I'm going to clear both of you all your things. And someday you're going to be a super successful Hollywood smash. Yeah. So good luck with that. They are, I mean, they've been very successful at hiding my homosexuality so far. So that was goal one. Yeah. Yeah. I probably shouldn't say that on this podcast.
Starting point is 00:48:57 Oh, nobody listens to this. That's the whole pervazoid thing. It's just an act. It is a very good act because believe me, you are the number one per visual aid. Thanks guys. It's really sweet of you to say. So even a hint of boob gets him drooling. The last hint gets him chomping at the bit. It's a it's a butternut squash soup with just a hint of boob. Enjoy. This is on the house from our chef. I do not like the idea that this is a little boob and my butt in that's they just dipped it in. Okay, that's fine. I don't want to feel like I'm a
Starting point is 00:49:33 cannibal. No, no. But you were you were you would be a fine young cannibal. This last one is from Stephen last name of a Danimal to be honest. This last one is from Stephen last name of a Danimal to be honest. Danimal. A Manimal Danimal. Danimal. And it's called full-sensory assault. And it says, dear flop house, I'm a big fan of your program. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:49:56 But something about your chosen medium leaves me feeling short-changed. Audio only podcasts are great for staying on top of current events or learning about the many household uses of apple cider vinegar But okay, is that a specific podcast? It's a deep reference Sidercastle and silly cast rules Sidercast rules But for something like the flop house, I feel like I need more
Starting point is 00:50:19 After all when Elrond Hubbard You're chosen Messiah When Elrond Hubbard, when you're chosen Messiah, when Elrond Hubbard published Battlefield Earth, he had the good sense to release the Space Jazz audio accompaniment. We've all come to appreciate it as an integral part of reading that novel. We'd still want a book that goes along with the flop house. Well, no, it's coming up. We have a story we could send you. So I was wondering if the three of us, I was wondering if the three of you have
Starting point is 00:50:45 signature synths I might queue up during episodes of the flop house. Interesting. Similar to the short live for Breeze, synth stories product. Perhaps I really notice his shitty tie-ins to stories. I am impressed sir. Very impressed. Perhaps when Stuart talks about boobs, parting hard or beer, I could light a candle, purchase a Pier 1 imports. Yeah, yeah, we talked about that. I think they provide a lot of the sets
Starting point is 00:51:10 for Conan and the Barbarian. Yeah, a lot of wicker cages. During Elliot's synopsis, I could spray some Langcomb Magnifique around the room, a perfume endorsed by his longtime friend, and have the way. Or you could just spray some Wolverine Cologne, which Stewart got me once.
Starting point is 00:51:27 And I mean, it's as long as it smells like Popeye's chicken, you're probably right. Yeah, that's true. He says any guy that's going to be greatly appreciated. And what smell would it be for Dan? He doesn't. Oh, man, it's strangely. Oh, he has no smell. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:41 It's like a knot. Not how does he smell? Like, you're a little laid. Wait, what? I didn't say he had no nose that's like that character from that movie we saw that one time yeah Conan yeah wait what Conan the barberry the character with no nose in the Conan movie yeah so I think Dan sent would be tears tears well what does that smell like salt and salt and disappointment?
Starting point is 00:52:06 The sear. Stuart. Okay. Because on a gray overcast day, or maybe it would be like farts. Wait, why? Why? Does he fart? Lotter is
Starting point is 00:52:18 brushing him up. Come on. He doesn't even have a smell. Zazim. Yeah. Something this means has needed. So we did the final judgments. We talked about scent.
Starting point is 00:52:31 We have the letter. Check, check. What's next, Daniel? I think the last thing and the only thing left is to recommend some movies, movies that we actually liked. We haven't done a recommendation in a while, right? It's been a little bit because we've had a few things I've gone long. So we've cut out the least
Starting point is 00:52:50 pocket. Oh, we got a we got a pocket. We got a promoter upcoming thing. Yes, even more important. We've got to promote our upcoming January 20th screening. And 92 wide Tribeca in the festival Tribeca district of New York at New York's home for crazy and independent and crazy old movies. We'll be screening 12 rounds, starring John Saina and Aiden Gillan in coordination with the I Love Bed movies scene. So it'll make the podcast we recorded about
Starting point is 00:53:20 the movie 12 rounds make more sense. Exactly. And we'll be providing running commentary throughout the film. Yeah, it'll be on January 12th. 20th. Sorry, 20th at eight. Nice one, Dan. January 20th. Friday, January 20th.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Friday, January 20th. 20th at eight o'clock PM Eastern Standard Time, New York City, New York City, never sleeps. And there was some discussion originally of recording it, but we figured out that that would not be possible legally and technically the only way you can enjoy this is by Coming to the actual event you got to be there January 20th also I try back if you are planning a letter filled with complaints Instead of writing that letter save them in your head and then show up to the event and tell it to us right before we go on. So we get really nervous and really throw away me at us. Yeah. So we,
Starting point is 00:54:09 yeah, just put us off our game. But just ask anyone who is at our twin citters screening, it was a total blast and a total hoot. This is going to be fun just as much fun if not more so. And it's going to be great So I had recommend you all come. Tickets are available now under 92. I try back a website. Buy them up suckers. Don't make my mom buy all the tickets again. Shh, we weren't gonna talk about that.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Oh, whoops. So Stuart, quickly. Okay, 12 rounds. I've seen a bunch of movies lately. I don't know if you recommended this already, but I saw James Gunn's Super. I enjoyed that movie. With Rain Wilson and Ellen Page.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Ellen Page. Yeah, I thought it was pretty good. I heard kind of mixed reviews, but I thought it was fun. A good, I guess, another original take on the idea of an average guy being a superhero. And yeah, it's funny. Kind of, kind of darkly so. Dan.
Starting point is 00:55:09 My wife for Christmas gave me a book called Hail, Hail Euphoria by Roy Blunt Jr. So there's a book podcast. And it's about the making of the film, Stuart. Oh, okay. Doug Soup, the Marks Brothers film. Not my favorite Marks Brothers film, but certainly one of the finest Marks Brothers films. One of the two finest. And
Starting point is 00:55:30 and short to boot a trim 70 minutes long. Are you recommending the movie of the book? I'm recommending, well, I'm recommending both, but you should watch if you've never seen the Marks Brothers movie, Duck Soup, certainly. See it? For my money, there are, there's maybe nothing funnier than the Marks Brothers at their best.
Starting point is 00:55:52 Except for his money, there's a lot of his money. Oh, there's a lot more money now than it was. So I think that the Marks Brothers are perhaps the finest comedy team ever, and this is one of their finest movies. So if you want to see the top of the top watch Duck Soup. I will quickly recommend I don't think I recommended this one yet on the podcast because we haven't done recommendations in a while but just in case I have I apologize but I didn't enjoy it. A movie called The Great North Field Minnesota Raid written and directed by Philip Kaufman for the early 70s
Starting point is 00:56:25 starring Robert DuVall and what's his name Uncle Ben from the Spider-Man movie Cliff Robertson as Cole Younger and Jesse James it starts out as kind of like a rollicking 70s romp as these two legendary outlaws are going to go rob a bank and once they do start the robbery everything goes horribly wrong. And there's a tone shift but it's not a crazy tone shift and the whole movie put together is really likeable and really fun and gets really dark in the end. But never so dark that it's not fun and enjoyable. And it's this movie that I wish I had known about a long time ago because I would have
Starting point is 00:57:01 watched it and enjoyed it. So guys, we do it. That's our first podcast of 2012. We did it. And how many years is this? Like a million, a million years, yeah. Million years. And pretty soon we're all going to be dead because of the minds. So the minds, yeah, we're going to go mining.
Starting point is 00:57:18 Yeah. But let's make sure not to do that before January 20th when our 12 rounds screening is up. Yeah. Okay, 13 times. This five head goes west with say, for January 20th when our 12 rounds screening is up. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay, a little 13 rounds. This five head goes west with say. It's another callback.
Starting point is 00:57:29 You did it, Goddamn it. So funny. Oh, you're a master. You're a master of disaster. So for the for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy. I'm Stuart Wellington. And I will be Elliot Kaelin, January 20th at 92. I try back at 12 rounds.
Starting point is 00:57:44 It's gonna be good. You're not everyone tonight See you there That was some those were some nice that was some nice fan mail from people it was we should I'll I'll write back to that and by the way that trailer was amazing Yeah, for Glenn the flying robot and the flying robot it's less as as a one of our co-workers said when you walked in while we were watching it it's like real steel but with piano playing everyone test test test check should be chandelier civil and civil and make Dan. Initializing Dan frustration mode. The Dan Angry Protocol. Execute program run.exe.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Dan Matt. Alright.

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