The Frank Skinner Show - Alf Bond

Episode Date: December 23, 2024

On today's podcast Frank has had an unusual text from Cath and he expresses concern over excessive badges. The trio discuss James Bond's brother and Jodrell Bank. Email the podcast [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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As Canada's most awarded fully electric vehicle lineup, our vehicles offer up to 550 kilometers of all-electric range and winter optimized technology for all-season performance. Visit a dealer today to learn more about federal and provincial purchase incentives on eligible models or go to HyundaiEVLeader.ca to learn how WA keeps you going. It's Frank off the radio, featuring him and that posh lady-o, and the one with the French name, from South Africa came. They're all here, open brackets, hooray! Close brackets today! It's me, Frank Skinner, I'm with my friends and I'll read

Sounds like a wobble board as used by Oh Pretend it didn't exist that's insane Spreading on Frank this absolutely stop it. This is Frank off the radio I'm joined by Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli follow the podcast on X and Instagram You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio Avalon UK.com Oh sure put that wobble board down no good will come of it. Oh What ever happened to did you say we'd had some contact about, I know you'd done some research for me hadn't you, on Frank Off The Shoulder? I did. I had a podcast idea where if I see people parked on the hard shoulder I pull over and

interview them. I drove up to Goodwood. Don't ask questions. No I won't. I was in Goodwood overnight. I haven't had Goodwood for years. Those are the kind of comments that's exactly why the Duke of Richmond will not be inviting you. Oh, you were invited by the Duke of Richmond? No, I was there with Kevin MacLeod anyway.

Okay. So, he presents grand designs. Of course. You'd like him. I would say he's very much all kind of person. I like most people. Okay, so I drove to Goodwood. For five minutes. I drove to Goodwood and back. Yeah?

Well done, you. Yeah, well done you And I thought this is the perfect opportunity to monitor activity on the hard shoulder Just to sort of assess the feasibility the potential guests of Frank off the shoulder. Yeah, we man Worried man. Well, yeah So I was I thought I'd have a quick look, You know, as I was driving, I drove very safely, I used to, and I got a little bit distracted on the way back because I was traveling in tandem with the Liverpool team coaches. Were you? Yeah. I asked Faye, my producer, who I was traveling with, would you know this? It says on the back, obviously, Frank, well, It says on the back obviously Frank well, it says on the back in big letters

Y and WA oh You'll never walk alone The Isle of Man is very close to Liverpool. Okay perilously you can't see much through those I would argue that ultimately we all walk It's a hard it's a harder song to see From the from the From the visiting terraces counter singing. I think you'll find. When people get sent off they must be like, oh, sort of spoiling a slogan now. When Ian Botham did that, I think he had people that walked with him. Mmm. Wach. I think you'll find the word is wach. So anyway, I thought I'd have a little look. I would say I saw possibly nine people in total on the hard shoulder. Well, that's a series right there.

Yeah. At least 70% of those were taking some form of comfort break. One... That's all right though. It'd be like, you know when on Radio 4 and they say I'm here now in the Lake District and you can hear like a waterfall in the background. And sort of their feet going. Yeah, exactly. And they're slightly, I hate that they were slightly out of breath. It's beautiful up here. That's nerves. Nerves more than anything. More than climbing. Well, I noticed something though, Frank, which you could... I bet you did if they were all urinating.

I didn't see all of them urinating. Oh, you don't mean? Well, that's my concern. Oh, man. That is what's... What an interview that would be. All I'm going to say is that there was one gentleman and I found this very suspicious, I know their tricks.

He tried the old passenger door, the front and rear doors. Do you know about this? They use it as a sort of modesty screen. Do they? Yes. It creates a sort of cubicle effect. It's a surface trick. But not on the hard shoulder. It's a surface trick apparently.

I'd worry that a car would click one of those and just take me off at the shift. Also I don't want Mo Salah at all seeing me doing my business. No, no, no. I don't know. There's something in that. Yeah but the whole Liverpool team driving past seeing you taking a comfort break. Anyway, I'm just saying the double door thing, that's a very real thing that happens a lot. The two doors so that you're shielded. But that's something we could bring. We could have a couple of two door specials. It'd be like a sound booth. Good for audio.

Also the two door special could become a euphemism. Yeah. And we know what for. If you were going to the toilet for that reason. Yeah. So I've got to do a two-door special. Can I tell you, by the way, I got a text this morning from my partner.

Oh, yeah. And it reads, thus. And I had no idea what this meant. I just got up and I got a text saying Have you got time to punch down bread? Call if can Good time to punch down bread. Ain't no bakery. Exactly, well I took my watch off. Oh my god. I mean as euphemisms go. Call if can. So I texted back. Call if can. This is an emergency. I don't like call if can. Yeah so I did call actually and said I don't know what that means.

And what did she say? And she said all you have to do is the bread is in a bowl in the airing cupboard with the tea towel over it. Just go in, take it out and fold it. The king is in the camping house. Yeah, fold it about five or six times. It's part of the bread making process which I was unaware of. Oh so it's dough that's being that's that's part of the confusion here right?

Why? If you'd been texted do you have time to punch down dough you'd at least have thought well this is sort of kneading. Yeah right. I'd have been straight off to Richmond D apart. I could have took three or four down before the keeper turned up. Oh man. You'd have been your dog's hero. God, I remember being in a car and a big stag came out from under these trees and it banged its antlers really hard on the branches and I thought, what a nightmare it must be to have antlers really hard on the branches and I thought what a nightmare it must be to have antlers. It's like carrying a ladder for the rest of your life.

Also I just worry about their sleeping arrangements as well because there must be some times when they sleep. How do you sleep with antlers? Frank off the radio at AvalonUK.com. It could be an experiment. How do they sleep, Frank, with antlers? They must sometimes, they must be used to it, I know, but you must think, oh, I really would love a night off. They must sleep face down. Awful life.

If the hooves were folded at the front, they could put their forehead on there. That would slightly raise the... What would you like least, antlers or some sort of a horn? I'd like antlers to sleep on a plane. Oh yes! You'd hold your head up, just lean forward. You wouldn't be allowed on the plane unless you might rot. Take up about the same amount of space as Phil Piston.

I think there's an anti-rot thing you'll find on planes. Anyway, I then got a note about 40 minutes later saying, oh you forgot to do the bread. And I said, oh I did it! Exclamation mark. And then I got one saying, oh you were supposed to do it in the bread tin. Don't worry.

So the bread is done but it has no shape. It's a big spreading thing. but I'm happy with that. So hang on, you went into it, what did you do? Just beat it up? Just fold it, just fold it and fold it. I folded it seven times, I thought I'd go biblical. I did actually do that. I thought I'd put God in the bread. You went a bit duvet cover with it. Well I was in Aberystwyth, remember when I saw that guy who was in a K-hole?

Oh yeah. Well, he was outside my hotel and at the hotel I was chatting to the staff and they were talking about, they made their own bread. And the woman said to me, yeah, well we got Toby in the kitchen and he sort of supplies it all. And I said, does he work here? She said no, no, Toby is the yeast source for the bread. And she'd named this thing. You know there's like a... Oh.

I thought you had a skin infection or something. No, there's the thing that people grow and it's like... Yes. It's like if you can imagine bread having a soul. The mother dough. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, there you go.

But normally it's the mother dough as opposed to Toby. Well, she called it Toby. It's creepy. I think the technical name is it's called a scoby. So she called it Toby the scoby. And this guy's, I'd never heard of it before. This guy said, yeah, I've got to, I met a mate and he got a really good one and he let me have a little bit of ease to add to mine yeah how does it how does Toby grow?

It's a jive. That's the miracles of modern surgery. I thought for a second you were chatting and it was like a horrible secret you'd uncovered when they're saying, we can all our yeast from Yeastie Torbie and that one is covered in it. Fine white fur. I thought you had like psoriasis or something. Celeriac.

Is that when you can't have yeast? If you're a celeriac. Celeriac? Is that what it is? Celiac. Celiac. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Yeah, that's that. What's celeriac? It's a sort of root vegetable. Yeah. You know that show, that reality show set in a bakery. I'm the celiac, get me out of here. Oh God. If you are a celiac, I realize it's not funny.

But you know. It's all right, thanks. Watch out for funny. But you know. It's alright, thank you. Watch out for Toby. You've got to be a bit careful. Can I ask your advice? Sure. I am a big fan of comic book culture. I've read comic books since I was smart-ha-ha-ed.

And I saw a badge with the Joker on it. Sure. And I thought, I'm going to gonna buy that 60p. I'm gonna buy that badge. Okay. And now I find I can't wear it. Why? Because it feels like I'm saying we're of the same profession, me and the Joker. You're worried people are thinking you're saying he's a colleague of mine. Yes, I'm joker. By the way. I'm also a domestic terrorist of a kind. He's gone into very dark direction. He's not as whimsical as he once was. Yeah but this is this one okay I would only really I wouldn't go Heath Ledger. Which one did you go then? I went very like comic, you know,

silver age comic book joker, like from the 60s, which is when I was reading comics first of all. But I just think people, I knew a comedian, should I say this, I'd be gone, started so I'll finish, and he wore a microphone badge. And there's nothing wrong with that. But I was uneasy with it. Because I thought it's sort of saying- It's a little bit self-referential. A little microphone pin. Yeah. As a way of sort of people going, why have you got that, nigger? Well.

I don't know that. Because I use it at work. Ask me what my job is. You're a bingo caller. It's funny you should ask. Thereby hangs a tale. Yeah, yeah. Ask me what my job is. You're a bingo caller. It's funny you should ask, they're my hangs of tail. I used to think of how many badges you could have before you needed to be avoided.

There's an upper limit of how many. If I see someone in like, you know, more than two badges. But it was a big thing. It's either Harry Hill or someone who, you know, could stab you in your bed. Not necessarily different groups, you never know. And some people try to get round you. He's a doctor, he know where to aim. You know people if they'll put the badge on like a lanyard ribbon so it isn't quite, like the TFI Friday approach put them on your braces

you're still wearing a lot of badges and that still makes you a suspect. Well I have three badges. If I was the police there was a local murder the first people I'd be rounding up with the excess badge wearers. Well the guy who's just got a little knife pin. Yes. Like the microphone. Why have you got that? Well I'm a murderer. They're my hands in the dust. I was hoping you'd ask. It's funny you should say that.

Oh this old thing? I'm a murderer. Murdered for the very first time. That was the only thing you'd ask actually. Well I like speaking of badges. I was at an event. I love an event. What sort of event?

It depends on the event. Well, it was a post-operatic event, drinks, and I saw a man and he had a badge and it said, Luca, philanthropy manager. Oh. He's doing exactly what Matthew says you're not meant to do. Talk about the philanthropy. Exactly. And I said, I've got to say, Luca, I just went up there, I said, I've got to say, Luca, I've never even heard of it. And as soon as I said, I've had this before with badge, name badge wearers. When I said Luke, and he was, oh, like I, I mean, it's on your badge. They don't seem to know.

I always, if I see someone in a name badge, like you'll say, oh, Janet, could I get, oh. It's like, you remember those old Hammer horrors where the bloke would walk, but usually Peter Cushing would walk into a tavern and say to the wench, I think they called him wenches, then behind the bar, you'd get out a bit of, unfold a bit of paper and say, does this symbol mean anything to you? And she'd go, no. And then you'd hear, Karen, come away from there. And then it's like that, just from saying their names. Darren Brown must, that must be what his life is like. Yeah.

So what was he like, the philanthropy? He was lovely and we chatted and I explained how I knew his name, just to put him at ease. And I said, you know, I think everyone in the world should wear a badge with their name and their profession on it. Yeah. I think it would be really brilliant. And then I wouldn't have even spoken to that bloke in the amusement arcade in 1986 If I'd have known So yeah, I honestly think it'd be a good idea

I do and I think it'd be handy for me soon to have a name badge So I'm getting to the age where I might not be able to recall it But you see you are perhaps stick my address on there as well for safety because I'm getting to the age where I might not be able to recall it. But you see, you are... Perhaps stick my address on there as well for safety. Definitely don't wear the Joker badge if it's going to be like that. It's just one of my friends, I think. But I'd wear it upside down for easy access, you know, like a... Like a nurse's watch.

Touch for the very first time. Is it a nurse watch or a nurse clock? Nurse timepiece let's call it. It is a watch. It's like a pocket watch. What's interesting is that they are all like watch. Oh Frank. It is, it's a breast watch, which I think is one of Chris Packham's cancelled shows. That's his late night one. Yeah, I should never have suggested it. It should have been lifted in the mud at the meeting. Chris, I know this is Channel 5 and we're quite experimental. We have all the night vision cameras from Ben Hatching. No, I think breast watch will be absolutely... No, no, forget it. Just forget it.

There's all sorts of problems, legal problems with you. We all know a sort of bird to be spotting on... Nurse breast watch is a very sort of carry-on... Yeah. You can see it's a caricature name for nurse. It's a Dickens character. You can have a watch on a... It's very Dr Tinkle. You could ever watch on a Prince Albert, of

course. Oh, here we go. You could? No, a Prince Albert. It was all a lovely conversation and you had to mention something disgusting. I haven't, you're talking about the piercing. I'm talking about the chains, a watch chain called a Prince Albert. Oh no, I've embarrassed myself, okay. You couldn't wear one on the piercingcings. Oh. I'd be worried lest it be self-winding. No mechanism could take that. This episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. Be honest, between meetings, workout classes, and the kids' clubs, who's got time to cook? That's where HelloFresh comes in. No matter how busy you get, HelloFresh makes it easy to get a home-cooked meal on the table. With flavor-packed recipes like crispy chicken parmigiana, you'll be filling your kitchen with the cozy

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Canon's got you covered. Shop the Level Up sales event today at canon.ca. Oh dear. Oh dear. Dear, dear, dear. I took a lovely picture of Ray outside that monument, and then I was told that's canceled now. Which monument? Prince Albert. I know. There's all sorts of reasons but yeah.

Is there? Really? Yes. Big friends of course with the American politician Dick Cheney. I met a former West Bromwich Albion star called Johnny On The Spot Nichols. Okay. And Johnny On The Spot as I called him. That was his nickname obviously, was On The Spot. Johnny Nichols told me he played in a football match with a guy called Alf Bond. Alf Bond was the ref and Alf Bond only had one arm or he just had that one. His arm went about, was about six inches long. He'd lost it in an industrial accident as everyone had in the 50s, those who'd got through the war.

And he was a referee and carried on being a referee with the one arm, but he used to wear his watch on the, I don't know what the technical term is, the remains of that arm. Yeah, you'll know, what is it? I was just going with stump. Yeah, I don't know if you can still say stump but anyway we've said it. So we wore it on that and as I say there wasn't much arm so Johnny on the spot said he said to him, I want to go ref and he was, he had to really struggle because it was it was very close to his chin where the watch was. He said, and he said, what are you wearing on your other arm? And the ref said, I can't wind it up.

Such a fabulous logic. I like the name Alf Bond. Do you? James Bond's sort of more working class cousin. Exactly. Alf Bond. He thinks he's too good for us now. Flying around with those ladies. Flying all over the world.

What would he do? Go to casinos. Yeah, but if it'd been Graf, there'd be a spin-off about his referee brother. Resentful, angry... Cocktails. Be licensed to trill because of the whistle. Oh yeah, we all know how you take your cocktails. Never stop going on about it, do you?

What's wrong with a pint, James? My name is Bond. Alf Bond. I'm here to check your meter. He's a referee. I just think Alf is such a salt of the earth name. I think James Bond would have more success sneaking in places if he was less posh. Do you remember when you had Victoria Corran on, was it on Room 101 and she rather brilliantly

put James Bond in? Yes. The more I see it. I fought it. No, I totally agree with her. You know what, I texted her about a month later and said I've watched two James Bond films since then. And you're right. She was so right. He's very, very sexist. Well, it's not just that. He's also very inset.

Like, I saw one the other day, Frank, and a woman said, he said, where are your parents? Where are your family? And she said, my mother and father are dead. And he said, oh, oysters I see. That's not how you react. At least say, oh, I'm sorry. Oh, you've got some oysters here. have a ramp, James. You don't just go, my parents are dead. Oysters! That's so psychopathic. And she said, no, they had... They were people.

No, it was mushrooms, unfortunately. Well, I think that's how you get to be licensed to kill by having... Why do men like those, mate? Cold-hearted. I think they've got men wrong. I don't think men do want to be like that. Well, the new Bond isn't like that. Daniel Craig wasn't like that. He's a bit more woke. He would be sad sometimes. They let Bond be sad. I think he could be sad. I think when his girlfriend got shot.

Barbara Bach. Barbara Bach? Barbara Bach, yeah, Ringo Starr's wife. Yeah, she got shot, didn't she? And he showed one to you? Was it her who was gonna marry and she got shot? I got a lot of film. Benny's very upset. Yeah, okay.

He didn't just say, oh God, he's been shot. Oh, he's... He didn't say, oysters. You're dead, I see. Oysters. Oysters was one of his Oysters. Oysters. Oysters. Oysters was one of his lesser known catchphrases.

Oysters. He literally was all he said. Oysters. And then she said. Apparently they're very good for grief. One of the best shellfish for grief I know. I used to use winkles but something wasn't right. Sorry for your loss. Oysters. He had moments of sadness. Which one was that where

it was Barbara Bach who got shot? That's one of the later ones. Was it The Spirits Who Love Me? Can you answer me this and I'll tell you, was she Roger Moore or Sean Connery? Oh I don't know. They all look the same to me. The bonds. Again don't take that out, use it as a trailer. Frank Skinner claims all bonds look the same. Yeah except Alf of course, he had one distinguishing feature. Alff of course, who had one distinguishing feature. You know that famous Bond pose when he has both hands on the gun? Yeah, that's what Ben Alff thought. Oh yeah, Rob it in James, you always were a fightful, fightful child. You could have posed any way you like, you chose that. I lost my arm and the first thing he suggested was oysters. Exactly.

He wouldn't do it, he had to die for oysters. Oh you've lost your arm Alf. Welk! Are you going to welk for a...actually you'd probably like to welk Alf. Alf, yeah. Alf Bond. Yeah. Oh man.

Have we heard from our friends in the North, South, West or East? We have. We have Clive from King's Heath. I wanted to share this with you. Oh, I used to do a regular gig in King's Heath. Whereabouts was it? At the Heron House. No, whereabouts roughly in the country is King's Heath. It's in Birmingham. Okay, thank you. Producer laughed at that.

Following on from your interest in the heavens on the Isle of Wight ferry, Frank loves the heavens. Oh yeah, I was on the back of the Isle of Wight ferry. Make yourself sound like some strange tugboat. Frank had a dispute with a seer. Or a non-seer. Are you really going to raise this again? No, maybe not.

I saw Steve Hall at a gig last night. He didn't bring it up. We should have... Do you want to quickly say in case people don't know? Frank saw a shooting star and was excited and then saw a second one and said, I can't believe I've seen two and you guys haven't seen either. And then Steve said, I saw the first one.

And you didn't believe him. But I did mention it. And doubted into the heart of the king. As anyone ever, has anyone ever seen- Oh, David, that's my king. Maybe it's just me, but when you see a shooting star you don't go... You're so suspicious of people. Anyway, look, it's all water under the bridge as they sail on the Isle of Wight ferry.

Do you remember, it used to be a joke, what steams and comes out of cows? The Isle of Wight ferry. I don't know, I saw a lot of it on the M25 the other night. On the Isle of Wight Ferry you seemed amazed that Omar... On the Isle of Wight Ferry, it's on the National Express. You seemed amazed that Omar had seen the International Space Station. With the naked eye as it's called. I don't know about that. Yeah? Did you know Frank, you can see it most days? I would be so thrilled to see it. Clive has sent us links which I'm going to share with you after this,

for how you can see it. The space station looks like an air... Well I have to go to John Drawbank. The space station looks like an airplane or a very bright star moving across the sky except it doesn't have flashing lights or change direction. It would also be moving considerably faster than a typical airplane. Airplanes generally fly at about 600 miles per hour. The space station flies at 17,500 miles per hour. Yeah. And I get three points for driving at 24.

Where's the justice in that? I've got to say I... Will I have to have a Jodral? I don't know what's happened. I'm just worried about the sound of this Jodral. You know Jodral back? No. You don't know it?

No. It's a massive grave. Do you know it? You don't know Jodral. You know Jodrolback? No. You don't know it? No. It's a massive game. Do you know it? You don't know Jodrolback? What are you talking about? Is that a character from Game of Thrones? It's an enormous super-spaced, it's where we get, this country gets all its space information from Jodrolback. Is that right? I was driving to a gig in Macclesfield once, yes, and... Fame! It's all... G... F...

I think the old contemptible pub in Macclesfield. It gets better. And it's all country lanes and suddenly this massive structure, like a spaceship has landed, is to my left and it's just all back. Are you sure this happens? Yes. Ah, we drove past it's Jodh Rulbank. Are you sure this happens? Yes. We drove past it on tour I remember now, yes. Oh now you're joining in. But what's it called?

Jodh Rulbank. Jodh Rulbank. Have you learned nothing? You haven't, I can't believe it. Have you learned nothing? Stay away. Any conversation about anything to do with space or astronomy. Or looking. Steer clear. But it's fucked up. Say yes master. about anything to do with space or astronomy or looking. Stay clear. But it's... Just say yes, master. An ill-star.

I believe we all have holes in our... Oh, dare you. In our... It's disgusting. You've absolutely pushed it out too far now. We all have a sort of one basic thing that everyone knows that we don't know. I agree with that. But, John Drillbank, neither of you have heard of that. I'm stunned.

Can I be honest? Okay I hadn't heard of a French toque. You certainly had one. I've had a Jodrell Bank before now. Why is it called Jodrell Banks? Because Dave Jodrell built it. And you made this up to test us if we're liars. But there would have been a great astronomer. I'm just very suspicious that Pierre's never heard of it and he knows everything. No, I must have been he's dropped in my... I know not of the heavens.

LAUGHTER He's dropped. Earthly matters concern me, my lord. But it's on Earth, it's based on Earth. Yes, that's true. Earthly matters concern me, my lord. It's based on Earth. Do you know I'm loving that character for you. Slightly duplicitous, cannot be trusted. It's very Church of England. If I may.

In many ways we are all like John Robank. We gaze upwards seeking wisdom. But we are rooted in Macclesfield. I've spent a long time with Tim Peake and he never told me anything about Jodrell Banks. Well he probably thought it's so obvious. He probably didn't talk about the fact that we were breathing either. He's up there. Isn't he on the space station he was? But George Rubinck's job is to...

I bet he's been to George Rubinck, I bet a grand Tim Peake's been to George Rubinck. How am I going to ask him? But from his point of view he'd think, well that's just an earthling thing, you know, they look at me. What is he, some goddamned alien? Yeah, he's above well that's just an earthling thing you know they look at me. What is he some goddam alien? Yeah, he's a bubble there. He'd probably say it's a sort of super trooper lights are gonna find me or in my case just roll back. You know Tim Peat was a bit of a Frank Skinner when he was up at that space station.

He would play practical jokes and it's like oh there's a fire. No. That's the last person you want on a space station. he would play practical jokes and it's like, oh there's a fire! No! Yes! That's the last person you want on a space station. I was quite shocked when he told me because he said I was in the army. Peak! He said I was in the army so I was a bit of a prankster. You know what they're like in the army, they do pranks all the time.

So they would, they would, extraordinary jokes. I think they did those kind of pranks. Yeah, a lot of practical jokes. What's that thing? The Archbishop's biscuit or something? No, I think there was one where they said, help, there's a fire. We won't go into that. They pretended that he...

It'd be very hard to get it to go onto the biscuit in no gravity. What's the Archbishop's biscuit? What are you doing now? Oh, it's a sort of military challenge. I think I know what you're talking about but I don't know where the Archbishopric is coming to. Maybe it wasn't. I don't like the euphemism of challenge. Exactly. But no he would say things like, help there's a fire started. Yeah. Wow. Honest. God. I'm shocked. So are you shocked, are you going to look out for this space station now? I'm going to send you the information. Yeah, I'm looking for something travelling at 170,000...

17,500 miles an hour. I'm looking at, yeah, something travelling at 17,000 miles an hour in space and you can't see something more than Macclesfield. What are you, I still don't understand what it is, Pierre. It's an enormous observatory, massive telescope. I'm going to show you a picture. And what's it called again? Giles Cattrall. Giles Cattrall. You must have seen it in the newspapers. Papers yeah, it writes about food Hose houses from history, okay What's it called? Jodrell Bank? Jodre

You know I'm asking him just to check that he's not made something. I am not made up Jodrell Bank All right medieval man, can we have something else from the outside world? Yes. No, no, I'm speaking to John. Yes, we have a message from Mars. Oh, what about what Pavel shared with us? Yes. Oh, Pavel231. This is regarding our supermarket dividers. Do you remember we talked about that Frank, because that used to bother you the way people were very, there's a bit of territorial hostility over the supermarket dividers you noticed. Yeah, we're talking about those things that you put between your grocery

and the other person's grocery. I think at the time when we're trying to bring people together. We'll hear what Pavel has to say on that. Put these little boundaries up. Prey's red act it up front Nice on the subject of dividers at the supermarket checkout. I have a story to relate my wife. It is universally agreed My wife it is universally agreed is a very beautiful woman.

Oh, that is, yeah, who's that a compliment to the wife or to the reader? Well, while I, it is equally universally agreed, am very much not a beautiful man. Oh, poor girl. Ponching up, as they say in the bakery. Well. In the air and cupboard. Yeah. We have been together many years,

and I find the gentle, she's out of- Well, lucky you. For holding on. But I bet it's been a stressful time. Well. I find the gentle, she's out of your league mate, mockery, to be more flattering and amusing than anything else. But the gap between our relative attractiveness was made harshly clear

to me earlier this year. We were together at the supermarket checkout. When I lost the 8 billion fortune. And she went shortly afterwards. Suddenly, welks weren't good enough. We were together at the supermarket checkout and the cashier, having taken payment from the shopper ahead of us, turned, looked at my beautiful wife, looked at me and then carefully threaded a divider half way down our shopping. Oh, that's brilliant.

That's so awful. Just to say, well I can't possibly imagine this. Surely some mistake. Yes, they can't even be buying the same things. Oh, Pavel. There was a mirror on her side and he'd taken the mirror off Pavel. I think Pavel has proved why she is with him. I think Pavel's probably nowhere near as bad looking as he's let on. No. And she's probably pretty average as well. I think they probably meet in the middle. Well that was the divider in the way.

No, I really want to, have you ever wanted to see a picture of someone who's written in more than Pavel and his wife? Pavel, please, will you send us in? Yes. Also, Pavel, you've got GSOH, so that bumps you up at least two points. Yeah. Would you say that's fair? Yes.

What does it mean? Good sense of humour. Oh, yes. Self-aware mean? Good sense of humor. Oh, yes. Self awareness. Humor is fancy. Oh God, she'll miss him when he's gone. Someone's like you're saying this personally, Frank. When she finds herself up shit creek without a pavil.

It's the Frank Skinner Podcast. The new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner Podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via frankofftheradio at avalonuk.com. between stressed out driving and a smooth ride to work. Mark went the extra mile on his repairs with a loan from Brokers Lamina at 1-800-NEW-CREDIT. It's easy to apply over the phone or online at lamina.ca.

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