The Frank Skinner Show - Beef Chops

Episode Date: May 7, 2022

Frank Skinner's on Absolute Radio every Saturday morning and you can enjoy the show's podcast right here. Radio Academy Award winning Frank, Emily and Alun bring you a show which is like joining your mates for a coffee... So, put the kettle on, sit down and enjoy UK commercial radio's most popular podcast. This week Frank and Alun are joined by Chloe Petts. The team discuss Chloe’s mum insulting Frank, a trainee pilot who caused a flight to turn around, and height etiquette at gigs.

This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. I'm with Alan Cochran and Chloe Petz this morning. You can text the show on 8-12-15, follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at Frank on the Radio. Email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk Good morning. Morning. Morning. Morning, Chloe.

Welcome to our world. Thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute pleasure. Chloe's a very old friend of mine. We met Wednesday. And what a Wednesday it was. I'm going to say best Wednesday of my life, Frank.

Hey, me too. No, actually. I've had to say best Wednesday of my life Frank me too no actually I've had a lot more Wednesdays than you have yeah and it was really encouraging Frank you obviously came to see my show and your feedback was it was good

but I did miss the Real Madrid game well it was a big game to miss I mean I can't think of a comic who I wouldn't have been slightly bitter towards for making me miss that game I was bitter to myself that I mean, I can't think of a comic who I wouldn't have been slightly bitter towards for making me miss that game. I was bitter to myself

that I missed that game. Yeah, it was terrible planning on your part. Anyway, I went to see Chloe at Soho Theatre. She absolutely stormed it. And I went back, Al. You know when you go back. And it's always a bit awkward

when you go back, I think. I never bit awkward when you go back i think i never know quite what to say and i felt a bit oh god it'll be there'll be young cool people in there thinking why's he come back get lost anyway i went in and it was it was um it was well chloe was nice to me anyway yeah i i was very nice but my mum had a sort of unfortunate response to being starstruck, which is that she insulted you three times in exactly the same way each time, actually. And then the cock-roar crowed. It was just like St. Peter denying Hayhoof, as they call them at Man City. So basically what happened was my mum was talking about,

she was in the crowd of my show. She was sitting in front of me, in fact. Well, I think the way she told it three times was that she was sort of looking around at all the audience and going, oh, everyone's very young here. And she was like, well, Chloe's young, so she's got sort of a young audience. And I suppose we went to see young comics back in the day, like Frank Skinner.

And then apparently you walked through the door. I think she sort of thought that she'd summoned you from the 90s. Yeah, I think I just walk around the West End listening. And if anyone says my name, I walk into the room. Whereas my mum now thinks she's a superhero, just going around going, David Baddiel, Stuart Lee. No, no, it only worked for Frank. Well, she told me that.

I mean, before I knew it was your mum, she told me that. And she said, we were saying, you know, even they were young then. Like, yeah. And now you're sort of old and past. It was sort of the general gist of the story. That was definitely. I think your mum saw, you know those restaurant kitchens

that have got an indoor and an outdoor. If you can imagine the inside of that was fame and glory. I think she saw Chloe on her way through the indoor and me coming out with my plates. Saying, anyway guys, been great. Yeah, we don't need to get this one on size.

She's on the up, he's on the down. Yes, they were very nice, actually. It is hard not to say the wrong thing for your mum, I mean. Yeah, specifically for Jill Pets, actually. She does find it a struggle. So the risk, of course, was that I saw Chloe and I thought, well, she's funny. And then Emily's got a throat.

I'll be straight with you. She's got a throat. Got a bit of a throat on her. So I said, so Sarah said, who shall we? I said, what about Chloe Pets? And I only said it just to sound cool. So Sarah would think, oh, what, Frank knows Chloe Pets? Wow.

So I wasn't sure because really you don't want to judge a comedian for breakfast radio if you've only seen them perform when their mum and dad were in the audience because they might have really cleaned it up for that one night. So you could be a shock comic for all I know.

Yeah, I've got some things planned, so brace yourselves, readers. The Bauer security are already on their way. I imagine one of those... Do you remember those... I can't remember the name either. Those big, black, scary cars that you used to get in gangster films. A jalopy. Oh, yeah.

You know the word jalopy, Chloe? It's going to be an educational morning for all of us. But you're not going to tell me what it means? Well, jalopy is just like a big saloon car. I don't mean it's got swinging doors. Yeah. I mean, it's... Oh, let's get some music on for

goodness sake i can't explain off here so i have to ask you one more question chloe have you done an in-depth interview and then when it's been printed, the headline is The Secret Life of Pets? No. Oh, that will happen. They haven't done The Secret Life of Chloe Pets yet. No pets win prizes, no pet shop boys. There's been no sort of utilisation. Because I've been having, frankly speaking, and being frank headlines to interviews for 35 years.

Well, sort of following this, I think it's all I'm going to get now, really. Well, honestly, no one listens to this, do you? Your secret is safe with us. It's alright. If you're not declaring this, don't worry. I haven't declared it for 11 years.

Cash in hand, I get, from Bauer. Nice. Put that in your pocket. I nearly did a German get, from Bauer. Nice. Here, put that in your pocket. I nearly did a German accent then for Bauer. Thank God I fought that urge. Yeah, thank God. I'd like to hear it, Frank. No.

No, I can't. I have my career to think of. Speaking of German accents, Hitler, I wonder what the Nuremberg rallies were like when he's if his mom and dad was in one night i think he turned it up turned it down a bit sort of when i say uber alice i'm not obviously not literally alice you know just one or two local countries but i'm not you know i'm not an england mania his mom sat there insulting Yeah, exactly. You look a bit old.

No, I think me sitting behind his mum would be like, it'd be like the Kaiser sitting behind Hitler's mum. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Slightly, you know, the old guy. The old bard, yeah. I didn't wear me pointy hat at the Sower Theatre. It's very good, though, for bills. You know, the thing you put... Frank, you're going to have to explain that a bit further

mate well i don't know if anyone's ever really done this but sometimes in tv shows people put their bills on a big spike on the desk have you ever seen that i've never known anyone do it but i always think be straight through the palm of the hand oh that's my uh Ouch. That's my thing. Good morning, everybody. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, everyone. Wake up with absolute. That was... So, yes, forgive me for any point I try to appear with it this morning

because Chloe's on. Because I'm not with it. If that happens, that'll be a new trend that's developing because that is not something you've attempted in the last ten years. No, no. What about if I say no-woe? Hey, no-woe. You familiar with that, Chloe?

It's very cool. Absolutely not. Cool youth statement means no worries. Oh. Does it? Yeah. Did you not know what it meant, Al? I did not know no-woe.

Yeah, no-woe. I heard it on a Pokemon cartoon series. Did you not know what it meant, Al? I did not know no-woe. Yeah, no-woe. I heard it on a Pokemon cartoon series. Did you? That's where I get my youth speak from. Not only did I not know the abbreviation no-woe, but I don't have no-woe. I definitely have some woe. No, everyone has some woe, don't they? I have a substantial amount of woe. The nice thing is that when you shorten woe as to woe,

it becomes woe, which is obviously sort of another word for sadness and trouble. Did they have to explain on the Pokemon series what they meant by no? They explained nothing

on the Pokemon series. So you had to sort of fill it in. It could be an abbreviation of something else, Frank. Yeah. No, no woman, no cry, maybe. Maybe.

Very abbreviated record indexing system in Japan. That is Pikachu's favourite song I've heard. Oh, man. Pikachu. As last has been name-checked on this show. I think my son's gone off it a bit, which is annoying. You know, I don't know if you've ever done this with gifting, but I bought him like a box set of Pokemon

books, and then he went off it, so I've just kept them. Infuriating. So you're getting into Pokemon now? Well, I don't know, it's a very different... Are you aware of the Pokemon world? I mean, it's a strange... From old school, I wouldn't be

up to date with the new Pokemon, so I'm sort of very much... No, I won't. No, I won't. I... From old school, I wouldn't be up to date with the new Pokemon, so I'm sort of very much... No, I won't. No, I won't. I'll go old school. No, I won't. It's a series I've watched, I would say, over 100 episodes of and never really understood what the hell was going on. People have creatures in plastic balls that they get out

and the creatures fight and then you win the competition. That's it. As every episode. But, you know, it grew on me. Friendship on Absolute Radio.

We were just talking about Gustave Flaubert off air, the French novelist. Not that I'm not going to pretend I've read any Flowbear. I don't know if you guys have. I've not read any

Flowbear, but I read Flowbear's Parrot by Julian Barnes. So I sort of see myself as a bit of a Flowbear aficionado now. Armed with one fact, I think I'm sort of his biographer. Well, I was just saying that there's a statue of him where I think he looks terrible.

And it's like he's turned up to Rodin's studio and just not made an effort. And Rodin thought, OK, well, I'm doing you Watson or Gustav. Whereas I think what's happened is he's turned up in his absolute Sunday best and Rodin just doesn't like him and has sort of gone, right, well, this is how you'll be immortalised through history. But why do him then? He could have said, no, tell him no, don't want to do him.

That could be another version of it. Do you remember the time that you, Frank, went along to what you thought was going to be a podcast and then they said, oh, we're filming it? Oh, yeah. And you're like, well, hang on, I've dressed for a podcast. Also, I've been paid for one, more importantly. Yeah, exactly.

Maybe Flowbear turned up for a chat and then it turned out it was a sitting for a... Yeah, exactly. It was a cup of tea, a chat. Flowbear's sitting there thinking, you can stop welding now, Rhoda. We're just chatting. Yeah, not even known he was sneaking.

To be fair to Flo Bear, and I think that's a sentence starter, which is good for breakfast idea. I believe Flo Bear had a traumatic incident in his childhood, is that one of his parents died died and when they were at the funeral they couldn't get coffin in hall and it got stuck and two or three of the graveyard assistants had to jump up and down on the coffin to get it in. And I think there's a feeling that that coloured Flowbear's whole world view.

I think that might have scarred the lad. Maybe. Maybe. I mean, if he'd have been a few years later he looks like he'd be a great guy for a coffin stomping he's the guy you want to turn off also if you're trying to you know close an overstuffed suitcase send for flow bear just giving him sort of trauma flashbacks every time he tries to go on holiday. He did all right. He did all right, Gustav. I don't know how we got on to that. I'll tell you what, I got up this morning

and one of my duties, first thing on a Saturday morning, is to feed the dog. And I just wonder if there's anything. You know, you do gigs and that and it goes well. When you walk on, get like applause and people are i mean chloe walked on the other night it was absolute i mean it was i said to you like absolute love in the room when you walked out but um i mean just from my mom and dad but sort of them cajoling everyone come Come on, everybody start clapping. But when you feed... I can imagine your mum doing that.

But when you feed a dog in the morning, oh, man, that is the... If I could get that response from a crowd. When I just go to the fridge, the front feet start... Oh, man. I imagine if you made someone laugh so hard they started involuntarily wetting themselves.

I've been told by people that that's happened. Oh, really? Yeah. I do a lot of old people's homes. Yeah, dribbling like a dog. They're my crowd now. And obviously when I'm looking for action. No, no, come on. Now, it was...

Yeah, imagine being a waiter and turning up to the table and the customer's doing that, running round and round the table, really. See it? See it? Just can't control themselves. Has there ever been food that good as a dog's response to food?

I'll just say, here we are with the meal. Whoa! Come on! Oh, man. That's a little target I've set the chefs at home. Come up with that one. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Al often extends my my world knowledge

by telling me tell us Al who we were just discussing. Well we were discussing your dog's eating habits off air and I said that your dog, you told me that your dog eats raw meat and I said perhaps it's influenced by the YouTuber. In cat form

mainly in cat form we're trying to stop it. No, no. There's a YouTuber and Instagrammer called The Liver King who's like a muscly American dude who eats a lot of liver. But not exclusively liver. I think majority liver. Oh, wow.

I don't really know. I haven't actually gone on a deep dive into The Liver King. I've just seen pictures and videos. I'm glad really know. I haven't actually gone on a deep dive into the liver king. I've just seen pictures and videos. I'm glad he exists. I just Google him and searched him and he is ripped. So that's really working for him. It works. A lot of these things I think are sort of a genetic blessing

that they then pretend is their actual diet. But he's found big bits of liver. On the Google image search, he's wearing a bit of liver like it's a scarf do you not do that lady gaga type of character I've got a liver scarf on now

in my Manchester studio have you guys not no I'm not I wouldn't I wouldn't be wearing a liver scarf in Manchester Alan

hey thank you I've got lamb chop epaulettes on this jacket that's very good good

oh man if only the liver king's name was Archie then he could be Liver Archie oh man I'd change it the jokes are coming

thick and fast if you're listening if you're listening liver king change your name by deed poll. I mean, you get more publicity because everyone says there's this guy called Liverati. That would be it.

I think he listens on the podcast during the week, so he won't change that soon. No, okay. Fair, he doesn't like the adverts. It's a lot of non-meat-based stuff, he can't be. Non-awful. Still, he's got a big heart and an enormous liver. Really nice.

By the way, if you're listening, don't just eat liver. No. That's not... It seems bizarre that we have to give that as a disclaimer. Well, you've got to be careful. We do live in a world where people would think it was an endorsement for liver and liver alone.

Yeah, also, the word liver suggests that you're going to last longer if you eat it. Yeah. Everything about liver is positive towards life expectancy, isn't it?

There's no stuff that's... You see, dire is used as an insult, obviously. That's absolutely dire. Do you want some liver? That sounds much better. That's how people's mind works there used to was a banana girl as well who just ate bananas and um and again looked fantastic where did you discover her was she just sort of someone on your street or is she no no she's on there she's on the internet on the social medias i wish

she'd been someone on my street. That would have been great. Just seeing her in the morning on her way back from the greengrocers. Great big sack. No, I like a banana, but... Me too. But, you know, come on, banana girl. Spread it about a bit.

If her and Archie got together, they could put together quite a nicely balanced move but imagine them going out for dinner where would they go for a start off liver banana restaurant

they could go to Rainforest Cafe she'd be alright and if he's alright with gorilla liver oh look I saw I saw own other signs going up the producer holds up it's actually holding up a sign that says 30 seconds such a shame because I think that was gonna be the best anecdote of my life of all time yeah and of course at my age it's gone

now yeah we'll never hear it again you can't recoup when you're stopped like that on the it's like if you're starting the ski

jump and you know when they get to the top and then they call back sometimes because there's like a cow on the track or something

I seem to remember that in the Winter Olympics or was it a dream I dreamt about the great Exhibition of 1851 last night. Did you? Yeah. It's very boring to retell your dreams. But there were people shouting in the night outside my house.

And I got them mixed up with the Great Exhibition of 1851. And I imagine there were people responding to the exhibits. It's funny, Frank, that you're talking about your dream because I feel like I'm currently in a fever dream. Yeah, sorry. From skiing to the exhibition. I'll calm. Unfortunately, it'll be about 12.30.

Frank Skimmer. Absolute radio. Have we had any outside world communication or have we, has it ceased? We've had a smatter just in. We were just discussing Liver King and Banana Girl moments ago. And 410 has texted, Frank, I'm not sure it would be terribly safe to Google Banana Girl. That's a good point. And also on a sombre note somewhat, Frank,

our cat would only eat fresh liver like Hannibal Lecter, but she eventually died of vitamin A or maybe D excess. So, you know, word to the wise there from Linda. Word to me, word to Archie. Exactly. He's living on uh borrowed time also he started strangely started burying his own excrement recently the problem is with a cat or a dog if they want to only one thing you can't sort of balance it

out with a conversation like you can with another human you Well, you cannot feed them. Yeah, I feel like the pet owner is very much in control. Yeah, I'm in charge in our house. That's right. The dog. Yeah, but if you put down something as a side, they're just going to leave it, aren't they? Yeah, but they're not going to starve themselves to death, are they? I think some of them can get very trenchant about their diet.

I'm loving trenchant, Al. Thank you. I can go home now and have it. very trenchant about their diet. I'm loving trenchant, Al. Thank you. I'm love... I can go home now and... Well, the local butcher... I must have told you this, Al. I've told you before, but not you, Chloe, because we're strangers.

Sorry, Frank. I think we're absolutely best friends. Are we? OK, fair enough. We're sort of friends in the internet world, aren't we? Yeah, I'll take that. I friended you. Yeah. OK, so... friend are we okay fair enough we're sort of friends in the internet world aren't we yeah i friended you yeah okay so a local butcher said will you feed your dog mate because it it gets stands outside our shop and barks all day and uh i said well you know i can't i can't control let it out the house this is in the days you just used to let them out. So anyway, years later, somebody said to me their dog was vegetarian and that dogs actually, it's a myth about them,

they actually prefer to live the vegetarian lifestyle. And I explained that on no occasion did a local green grocer say to me, your dog's been barking outside my shop for lettuce. And also, dogs sort of can't make an ethical choice. Like, it's not like one's turning up to Extinction Rebellion going, actually, I'm sort of very worried about the climate. No. I've chosen an exclusively vegan diet.

But there must be vegetarians who just like it, just don't like meat. It's not always a moral choice, is it? Isn't it just some, not keen on meat? But with a dog, it might be that he doesn't like meat, or it might be a moral choice, you know? It could be. I mean, a dog, it seems, is amoral.

I'm not saying it's immoral. It's amoral. It's amoral. Yeah. So, listen, a bit of history. My son yesterday was in his school play, so me and Kath went along to see it. And he played the Victorian inventor, George Merriweather.

Would you say he was typecast? No. He had to have a beard. People said to him, you look really good with a beard. Well, I've never been able to grow a decent beard. And so I thought, don't build his hopes up now. He's ginger as well. I find gingers often can't really manage a really dense.

Yeah. You get the odd exception. Sort of a little wispy. My mind's got real gaps in it. Do you know what I mean? It looks like flying over sort of marshland. You can see tributaries,

tributaries of skin going through the undergrowth and that's no good. But George Merriweather, we've spoken on this show before about nominative determinism where someone's name leads them into their career.

Doctor Strange, for example. If you'd become a vet, Chloe, that obviously, Chloe Petz, the vet, would have been perfect. Yeah, very nice. Also, what we haven't done yet, it's a tradition on the show. Do you know Chloe Petz? No, but thanks for the tip. What we haven't done yet is a tradition on the show. Do you know Chloe Pett? No, but thanks for the tip.

But George Merriweather, I'm going to tell you his full story, but he was a meteorological guy. So, I mean, brilliantly named. I'll explain a little more after this. This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. little more after this this is frank skinner on absolute radio i'm joined this is what it says i've been given a piece of paper i'm joined by alan cochran and chloe pets she's given me this bit of paper in case i forget chloe name tomorrow. Damned insult. You can text the show on 8-12-15, follow the show

on Twitter and Instagram at Frank on the Radio. Email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk I left you on a Victorian inventor cliffhanger.

I'm on the edge of my seat if I want to. Yeah. I have a feeling I've mentioned this before but anyway, you can't get too much of a good thing. George Merriweather invented a weather predicting machine

called the Tempest Prognosticator. And this is real. What it is, it's several jars with leeches in them. And leeches respond to damp in the air. And if they're in some sort of pit, even a glass one, they will panic that they're going to drown. So they climb up. And he rigged up string around the top of the jar

so that when the leeches reached the string, a bell rang. So you knew a storm was coming because the leeches had risen, as it were, and that was it. And George imagined there'd be one of these in every home. The leech. Did he? The leech-based weather predictor. The prognosticator. Yeah,or. The prognosticator.

Yeah, the tempest prognosticator. But it didn't work out. But I'll tell you one thing about George, which I will always love him for. Not just that he was played by my child, but he put them in glass containers because he said it was important that they could see

each other, the leeches. He said lest it should feel like solitary confinement. Now, there's a concern for our fellow creatures. And that's where the merry and merry weather comes from. Exactly, and the weather obviously speaks for itself. But what a guy. And how did your son get on playing him? Oh, man, he stormed.

I mean, he found all the business. He did a lot of business. But do you know what? It must have been high pressure for him, being the son of a performer. And he really reasons the occasion. Yeah. I've never met him, but I'm proud of him.

Oh, thanks, Chloe. I'll pass that on. He was a great George Merriweather. The Guardian. No, it wasn't reviewed. Not yet. Not by me. Not yet.

Maybe the reviews go to press later. Perhaps it'll be in the Sundays. Let's not talk about reviews. Really? No, I haven't had any, but I can still remember the ones I had 35 years ago, so there you go are you adored in reviews Chloe generally uh I haven't had many but I had a good one from the Guardian and I think

that's mainly just because I I sort of have a a general lefty viewpoint so you can just sort of say something like fascism is wrong and get four stars off the Guardian okay yeah that's a little tip I'll try that a little tip tip for... I'll try that. A little tip for your comedy life. I'll try that, but I don't know if it'd be convincing. Wrong is such a big word. Frank Skinner, fascism is nuanced. Exactly.

I'm not as keen on it as I was, Frank Skinner. No, it's bad can I just say can I just say the official line it's bad sounds like you're just saying it though now no I do do I have to honestly explain

that I think fascism is bad of course you don't can we talk about the story of the scary oh we can't because now the I was on the I was on the on the story of the scary... Oh, we can't because now the... I was on the top of the ski run again. Yeah.

And more cattle on the tracks below. I don't know if my nerves are going to be able to take it. Another cliffhanger. I imagine as well, if you were on the top of a ski slope and there was cattle on the tracks, there'd be those loud Swiss bells that they put on cattle so they can find them at night. You know, have you ever seen, have you been

to Switzerland? Never been to Switzerland. Very, you Al? I've been to Switzerland but not anywhere where there's cattle on ski slopes. Is that what you just said? No, I'm just talking about generally. I was up in the mountains with Richard Ayoade and we could, it was really, we had to speak up because the sound of the cattle bells was so powerful yeah the big

massive you know they bring them back as uh souvenirs not the cattle well i brought back a couple of chops you know the cattle chops ever had beef chops? I'm a vegetarian, Frank. I'm sorry. Sorry, everyone. You've offended my culture. See you earlier, Guardian Conversation. But if there's anyone listening who can explain why I can't go out and buy beef chops,

I'd like to know. Chloe will get over it. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Frank, you were asking why can't you get chops from a cow? Well, you get pork chops and lamb chops. There seems to be an obvious omission there. Well, there isn't that obvious an omission. It's a labelling issue that you've got confused with here.

790, good morning, Frank and the team. Sir line of beef on the bone and rib of beef on the bone are your beef chops. Happy eating, Rich the butcher. Are they? Basically, beef on the bone is a chop. So if you get a steak, I'm guessing, like a tomahawk steak type thing.

But beef on the bone doesn't come with a handle like a like a lamb chop i like food with a handle right chicken leg toffee apple they're the big they're the big three i think we'd agree somebody's obviously been messing around with an apple dropped it a couple of times and thought the semi-sphere has got no future get me a stick and thus the toffee apple was the toffee that was three or four years later I feel like that's an even further incentive not to drop it

on the floor because if you add a sticky layer then it's going to sort of acquire whatever it hits so start with the stick and then it drops off a few times and you think I'm not really concentrating on giving it on the stick, I'll make it sticky, and then I don't want it. And sticky, obviously, is where they got the idea.

They got the stick, and then they thought of stickiness. Let's take this word to the logical conclusion. Yeah, I think that's what happened. We've got some further updates on the meat names. We should move on Hey up you three, beef chops are usually given the moniker beef cutlets if you desire a different kind of beef

chops you can ask to be served beef cheeks which are son's bone as they are literally the cow's chops that's from Andy Wood Bronte Country West Yorkshire I like the addition of Bronte Country I got a letter from

Bronte Country this week as they call it did you? greetings from the Bronte Moors it begins very Moorish landscape up there and

they've sent me a book about the Lewis Chessman, now you might not, well you won't know this Chloe but I'm very keen on the Lewis Chessman the chess set which is in the British Museum and the Scottish National Gallery and so they've sent me a book

about that which is very nice, furthermore they've also enclosed I have also enclosed a short illustrated essay that I wrote inspired by a small map in Stornoway Museum which had South at the top of the map and Lewis in the center I hope you find some interesting. I don't get sent enough essays by readers. Let alone visual ones. Yeah, but I will actually, I mean, genuinely, I'll read that. South at the top. What a palaver.

This show is constantly surprising. It goes from the absolute lowest of the low to the highest of the high. What are you calling the lowest of the low? Meat. Meat, you mean, don't you? It's just funny to me that the most correspondence we've got all show is about chops.

Yeah. Well, they've been waiting. They've thought, yeah, let's get the flow bear out the way and get down to meat.

Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. I don't feel, Al, that I've really got my head around the beef chop. Oh, really? I still can't picture lamb chop quite similar, but bigger than, but smaller rather than a pork chop. And then a beef thing next to it that looks like it's the same template, the chop template has been applied to cattle.

I mean, this may be obvious for me to say, but you do realise they come from different animals, don't you? I know, but it's the chop. A pig is a different shape to a cow. That is true, but I mean, the sandwich comes from different places, but they still aren't essentially the same shape. I don't see why the chop... If you go ferreting around any one skeleton,

you'd come up with chop potential, surely. You'd find a chop somewhere. But, Frank, I just think, just take a moment to visualise just a large chop with, like, a long bone with a bit of beef hanging off it. Well, I visualise it most days. I just can't find it in the shops. I think I just conjured something quite beautiful with my words there.

That was almost poetic. It was lovely. Thank you. It was lovely. Well, 581 has tried to help. The T-bone steak is an equivalent loin pork chop. The tail would run down to what the brisket becomes. That's from

Steve Mac who I guess is them I'm having that as well I'm having terrible flashbacks on this because I was on who wants to be a millionaire and I had to identify where you would find it's something like the some part of a cow that's out is something like the Rolf the Rolf where's the Rolf of a cow that sounded something like the Rolf. The Rolf. Where's the Rolf of a cow? And I thought, I don't know. And Jeremy Clarkson, who farms, was looking at me in some dismay.

The Roth. Have you ever heard of the Roth? No, I don't know that. The Julep. Well, exactly. I love a mint Jwlap on a hot night yeah I'd love it

what if you ordered a mint dewlap and they bought you a mint dewlap oh man what confusion that would be awful tremendous

I don't think a dewlap is awful I've got to pull you up on that if the liver man will be on the line in a minute look Tremendous. I don't think a dewlap is awful. I've got to pull you up on that. All right. The liver man will be on the line in a minute. Look, that's all about five butchers that have been texting the show all day.

I saw... I'm not the one catering to so many butchers on this show. No, that's interesting. I went to see Ricky Martin live in Barcelona. Frank, you are a man of mysteries. Anyway, he, at the end of the show, look, I was living Levito, look. And still are.

Yeah. And he, at the end, I remember he reached towards his chest and he twisted as if he was tearing at sinew and then he held out his hand and blew as if he was blowing his actual heart into the audience. He ripped it out of his chest. You couldn't propel awful just with a burst of human breath. I don't think that's realistic.

It would be a great gimmick for the end of his show if he did. Well, I mean, you'd have to have a transplant every morning. Ricky Martin's morning transplant. That would be a great title for a podcast. Spin off, Frank, spin off. I'd like to bring to your attention a news story this week. There was something of a brouhaha, a mid-air brouhaha, when passengers on a Virgin Atlantic flight from Heathrow to New York got upset when their plane was forced to turn back because

it became clear that the co-pilot hadn't finished his flying exams so it says in the article that they did a U-turn which I think was one of the manoeuvres that he had been trained in I know he did a three pointer

what about if he'd reverse around the corner of a country? Ireland or something. I mean, they didn't announce what the reason was, though. If you were on a plane and somebody said that, I would be anxious until we landed. I get a bit annoyed if I'm on a train and they turn it off and back on again to try and get the seat booking reservations to work.

Is that why they turn it on and off again? I've been on a few trains where they've turned it back off and back on again to try and rejig something. Yeah, I... In this day and age, come on. It's such a... We've moved on so far technologically, but even probably the nuclear codes or something,

it's like, oh, just try turning it off and on again. Yeah, but it does seem to work on the trains. I don't think we'll ever move past technologically turning it off and on again. I think that will be with us until the end of time. But they said that they made an announcement. When they began telling them, they said, some of you um who were watching our flight tracker will have noticed we've just done an 180 degree turn you know that

flight tracker thing where you see the little plane move imagine suddenly seeing it do that i like to imagine that they were going i'm really sorry guys you're never gonna guess what's happened it's sort of quite conspiratorial like he hasn't got his exams they should have sent him out shouldn't they to explain oh they'd have ripped into shreds surely i think i think i would have been like that's that's pretty cool couldn't can i have a go yeah yeah it's sort of carte blanche for well apparently everyone jump on. He would have been allowed to fly if the other pilot had been a registered trainer of pilots. So I do think it is one of those, like, articles that sort of, it's got a better headline than its content.

Well, I don't know. The fact is the other guy wasn't a trainer. So it's a bit like, you know when your dad gives you a driving lesson instead of like a proper instructor? It's a bit like that. Yeah. But he was on a passenger plane crossing the Atlantic. So he should have just gone like other people do,

on a bit of waste ground, just the two of them. Yeah, yeah. And had a little spin around. Not get everyone on board and fly to America. Ah, it'd be fine. It's amazing they managed to set off and get going when he'd already put the L plates outside. Oh, man.

Really, though, I would have been... There was one part of the story I did not understand, and I will tell you about it after this. Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute radio. Absolute radio. And I will tell you about it after this. I'll tell you the plane thing first. It said one of the passengers said that they knew that something was going wrong because three people in high-vis jackets went into the cockpit. There's so many questions about that.

I thought the cockpit was closed for flights. Yeah. And also, where did they come from? Do they just keep three people in high-vis on all planes? Yeah, in a bit of that room. Playing whist in a vat room. Yeah, I mean, I would be really terrified if three people out of nowhere,

I'd assume we'd landed and I'd slept through it. Three people in high vis went into the car. Who? Frank, we've got some correspondence from a regular reader, Ruth Jordan. Ah, yes. She says, talking about the pilot and his non-official trainer

being like having a driving lesson from your dad, just brought back Sunday afternoons in a quiet road in Birmingham in my mum's VW Polo with my dad helpfully repeating, now just raise the clutch the thickness of a penny. Oh, wow. Just the thickness of a penny. I'm picturing it now. That is a level of dexterity, though, to get it that...

I knew Al would see it. Al is our motoring correspondent. He's in like a hawk. Yeah, he's like, yeah, the penny is actually a unit of measurement used in motoring quite regularly, actually. There used to be the pint of beer thing, and what you would do, you'd be in the pub and everyone would pile out,

and somebody would put a pint of beer on the bonnet and you had to change gear without spilling. You had to go... Oh, that's good fun. Yeah. Was that the test of whether you were too drunk to drive or not? No, I don't think that even crossed off. We're talking about the 70s.

Not drunk enough to drive in the 70s. Can I say, we don't approve of drinking and driving, but there was a time when it was... There was a time when we did. No, we didn't. I never approved of it. I just didn't realise it was happening. One thing about this I thought was

what they said, Virgin Airlines. By the way, I suppose you could argue if you call Virgin Airlines, it sort of gives the idea in your head that there might be who hadn't been up there before, if you know what I mean. I'm a flight virgin. You're warning people, really. It's hiding in plain sight. Anyway, they said, and I quote, they described this thing as a rostering error.

Yeah. And I thought that would be a great term to use when you was ending a relationship. Sorry, I now realise you were a rostering error. Yeah. Just laying that one down. Something of a personnel problem. It's all got to be an HR crisis.

Oh, dear. Awful. Do you remember Conscious Uncoupling? Oh, yes. Do I remember Conscious? Guinea Pig. Little Guinea Pig and Chrissy. remember a conscious uncoupling oh yes guinea pig little guinea pig a friend of mine told me that um chris martin called her guinea pig they knew them a bit and i've always i always think of her as guinea pig now and i love guinea pig i mean she in in the iron man movies she was sensational yeah i forgive her all the gloop.

I like all that nonsense. I think the gloop is some of the most fruitful comedy we've seen in recent years, so I'm very thankful to Queenie Pig. And she also, conscious on Coppola, I like people that fool around with language, generally. The next one, rostering error. Yeah, exactly.

Queenie Pig's rostering error. When she talked about Chris Martin not liking doing red carpets, she said it doesn't behoove us to become a public couple. And behoove is just a word you hardly

ever hear. And I just like that Winnie Pig just dropped it into casual chat. She's a great woman. That's a great woman. That's me. I'm Paltrow. I'm pro-Paltrow. Not easy to say, but it's out.

Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute radio. Absolute radio. This is Frank Skinner. I'm joined by Alan Cochran and Chloe Petz. Every time I read your name, Alan, I'm surprised there's an E on the end of Cochran.

I've known you for a while. Text the show on 8-12-15. Follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at frankontheradio. Email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. That would be nice if you did that. We were talking about the trainee pilot who hadn't quite finished. I mean, Virgin have assured us he was totally safe, but he hadn't done that flight where you get your big tick

and you can fly without having somebody to watch over you. Apparently the main giveaway that he was a trainee was that he was so sober. Oh, God. and he was that he was so sober. Oh, God. Do you remember, I thought of Guy Gomer, who I don't think of that often. Do you know Guy Gomer, Chloe?

You're looking confused. No, I don't. I feel like I just don't get any of the references on this show. I'm sorry. This is not that long ago. This was a guy who turned up at News 24 to be interviewed about an IT job and ended up on camera

being asked about the Beatles being sued by Apple Corporation. They just got the wrong, literally the wrong guy. The wrong guy? Yeah. And the other guy was,

the expert was called Guy. So apparently they went into reception and said, are you Guy? And he said, yeah, Guy Gomer. And he thought, oh, this is quite an interview. There's cameras. Did he try and style it out? Yeah, he did, yeah.

That's brilliant. He started off saying, I'm really surprised to be asked about this. And they just thought it was him being a bit humble. And then they went into the deep thing of whether, you know, whether the Beatles, because Beatles had a company called Apple, obviously. And then Apple Corps came out. And I think Apple Corps said the Beatles were spoiling their Apple

by having their Apple, even though they were there first. In fact, come to think of it, Gwyneth and Chris could have got involved in this. It all comes full circle. They've got an apple, haven't they? They have got a little apple. And an apple. Apple is their oldest, and then Moses was their next child.

Also very biblical. They've gone through the first two stories of Genesis. They're working their way through the Old Testament. If they'd have stayed together, they'd have been announcing a child called Abinadab this week. Sadly, they're consciously uncoupled. Frank, we've got a bit of correspondence

from one of our readers about the aircraft, if I may. Please. So Al Wareham, or A. more or ai wearer i don't know uh says i was once sat on an aircraft which they were having trouble starting after about 20 minutes a guy appeared on the top of a stepladder at the pilot's window with a laptop with with a flimsy network cable passed into the cockpit. They had to do a software update. Oh, man. It's such a shame when sort of the banalities of the office go into the realms of something that could kill you.

Yeah, well, that's... You see, I would have really wanted to get off the plane, but I'd been too English to ask anyone if I could. I'm so polite that I've flown to my death. Exactly. But at least it wasn't awkward. But let's imagine that I just couldn't actually say. There was two, a really odd one.

Earlier this year, there was a plane turned back because two people were caught sneaking into business class. And I thought, do you honestly turn a plane round for that don't you just reprimand them it's smacks of um of of mum going well well if you're going to misbehave okay then you're going to ruin it for everyone aren't you do you think do you think the pilot leaned behind him and started slapping them in there in. Stop it. Stop it. I'm warning you two. Well, turn round. Frank Skinner

on Absolute Radio. So, Chloe, you're tall. Go on. I understand that I'm leading you into something here Yeah

I don't know how you're going to get to it The way you've started Okay So when you go to a gig How does that affect things? This is Des O'Connor My gosh When you did the Des O'Connor show

You'd go on and say what material you wanted to do And then you had to write the questions for him to take you to that material. Oh, that's good. Don't pretend like that's not what's happened today, Frank. Okay, yes. So you'd meet with two guys, you'd tell them what you wanted to do,

work out the questions. Then they would then do the interview with them being dead and I'd be me doing my jokes. Yeah. They would then send that cassette over when the driver picked Dez up

they would drive in with that plane so he heard the interview and then when you were actually interviewed there's an enormous idiot board behind with the questions and my answers on belt and braces Dez O'Connor. But he's very good at it.

He still really laughed heartily at the things he'd heard and read. He sounds like an absolute pro. He was a massive pro. Respect to Mundo. So, come on, spit it out, Chloe. Okay, so I went to a gig this week. How tall are you, just because it's radio? Six foot.

Okay. So, I'm tall, but I'm tall for a woman. it's radio? Six foot. Okay. So I'm tall but I'm tall for a woman. I'm not like extremely tall. You're tall for a man really. I'm five, ten and a half.

I dream of six foot. I'm tall but it's not like ludicrous like I was there. No, it's not bad tall. I was at the gig with a six foot three and I think he was struggling.

So basically we went to see him. How tall are you, Al? I'm just giving every, everyone's given their heights. You must be over six. If we're doing our stats, I'm about 6'2", 6'3". There you go.

But still good tall. And waist, waist size out. 34, I think. Not bad. So we went to see a band called Wet Leg. They were great. Me and a couple of friends. Very hot at the moment.

I don't mean... That wasn't a urination joke. I mean, Wet Leg or Hot Leg. No, they are there everywhere. But me and my sort of six foot three friend had a bit of that. So we got our space in the crowd and then we went to get beers.

We left shorter people in the middle and then we sort of had to wade our way back through to our friends and then we stood in front of some short people and i sort of felt a bit conflicted because i was like oh i think i'm sort of adversely ruining their night ruining their night so then what i did is i thought do you know what i'm gonna get i'm gonna get the rest of the crowd around me on side by letting these short people in front of me to show that I'm sort of a bit... Like a school photo. Like a school photo. Yeah.

But then what you have to remember is there were short people behind them. So I could have just kept going. Until you hit the wall. Until I hit the wall, yeah. As they say in the marathon world. Yeah, that's what they base it on. Yeah, exactly. Polite tall people, that's where that phrase

came from, hitting the wall. But do you think there's a world in which at gigs you should sort of go in in high order and then we sort of

stagger it? Well, that I believe is how rake seating was invented. They saw people standing in order of height and thought we could simulate this.

Let's monetise that. Yeah, we could ramp this. Yeah. I think that would be a great idea but i don't find that level of maybe the wet leg crowds are a bit more caring than the bands i go to see but um i think if you said to someone excuse me i think you're a bit taller than me can you go behind me that would you could end up in what i believe they used to call fisticuffs yeah a bit of fisticuffs yeah but and it would be difficult if you sort of try to do a mosh pit in high order as well sort of yeah keep a bit of order to the mosh pit yeah i um i i interviewed um

richard osman once and um i said to him if you were like at Lourdes they have a meeting point where if you're meeting someone I think you could say well I'll meet you, Richard Osman's going I'll meet you at Richard Osman because you can see him from everywhere in the room and it's like the clock you know in Grand Central

Terminal you just stick close to him and they'll find you. Frank Skinner. Absolute radio. Now, we get occasionally people send pictures of their children into

the show in comical situations. There's a guy, I think it was Adam Edwards. Adam Edwards. Who really has, he's outdone them all with a picture of his daughter. I don't know how old she is. I'm going to guess about eight.

And she's holding up a giant, I can only call it a beef chop. I think for all the talk from butchers, from gourmets who have texted in this morning. We have gourmets? Yeah, we had some good. We had a great white hunter texting. But so often one gets true truth from the lips of babes, as they say.

I mean, babes, as in children. We need to update that old saying. And she's just holding up a massive beef chop and it's a great picture. She looks really happy with her beef chop. The beef chop is so big that you can't get a sense of perspective. She could be 17 and we wouldn't know. But the beef chop is as big as her head.

She could be an action figure and that could be a lamb chop. Yeah. But the great thing is she's as her head. She could be an action figure and that could be a lamb chop. Yeah. But the great thing is she's wearing what I think is a leopard print top so it really gives the feeling of the wild cat who's devouring. She's gone out hunting. She's got a bit of a Flintstones vibe.

Exactly. It's exactly that. I tell you what though, it could be pebbles. Remember she was the Flintstone daughter. Yes, I do. Bone in the hair. Bone in the hair, yeah.

So she's going to eat her chop and then she's going to pop her bone in. Yeah. That's what. So I... That's a nice noise. You okay? A thing that I struggle with, just like Liz,

if anyone's wearing an animal print thing, I'm getting less and less good at identifying the wildcat. So I looked at that and I thought I had leopard, cheetah, puma, they were all dancing around my head and it's like I spin it like the Wheel of Fortune and whichever wildcat it lands on, I say, oh yeah, I like that leopard print. But I'm going to have to swat up. I'm going to have to revise my wildcats.

What an interesting aspect of ageing that you lose your faculties to identify a wildcat. Yeah, tiger I'm all right with. I don't think you ever lose, Tiger. But the others, I'm really not. Maybe that should be the new test, like, for, you know, old people, you're a bit worried about their memory. Don't ask the Prime Minister of the day, say, what wildcat's that? Yeah, show some old Julie Goodyear videos.

What would you say? What animal would you say that was based on? I laughed. I didn't get the reference, Frank, but I think it was lovely. There was a woman in Coronation Street who famously wore leopard print. Ah, okay, right, right, right.

That was the character. She was... Now I know that. Frank, that is very funny. Yeah. Yeah. That was at an age where I never, ever missed Coronation Street.

It was so brilliant, I must say. So, yeah, but... Speaking of unexpected ageing things this is a thing I really this is a tragic thing

I've gone off fish and chips oh no yeah I've had fish and chips a couple of times just lately and I thought no

where is where is the zing of yesteryear do you pull off the batter and just eat the white fish I feel like I've never done that Do you pull off the batter and just eat the white fish? I feel like that's... I've never done that.

No. I have pulled off the batter and just ate the batter. I always see the fish as something that's just there to hold the batter together. A vessel for the batter. Exactly. A craft. Yeah. But, yeah, that's really...

Because I would have said in Q&As, and I have done, that fish and chips is my favourite meal, and I've just gone off it. Could it be overexposure, though? Well, I don't have it that often. I just had a couple just lately, and it really makes me feel sad. I mean, it's quite a loss.

What a sorry day. I could try dice, I suppose. I think you can go dice, can't you? It's a fish, guys. Why are you looking at me like that? I don't know that one. Don't tell me that's an old-fashioned thing. It's a creature.

I've lost my faculty to recognise certain fish. Yeah. It's not a pretty historic one, though. It's still around, you know. Everyone's going to be like, poor Frank Skinner, he's off his fish and chips and he doesn. It's still around, you know. Everyone's going to be like, poor Frank Skinner. He's off his fish and chips and he doesn't know his puma from his leopard.

Yeah, his dice are numbered. Oh, by the way, some of you will know that I was... There's an ongoing thing with a comic book called Pogs in Space. I was sent the second edition last week after a 12-month delay. But this week I've been sent a cavalcade of merch, T-shirts, a car sticker. I mean, I haven't actually put a sticker on a car. I've got this car about, what was it, seven or eight months ago. It is completely stickerless.

It's a Rolls-Royce Phantom as well, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. It'd be an unusual car sticker to have. Yeah, exactly. My other car's a Porsche. Is that better or worse? My other car, sadly, is a Porsche. That'd be very good if you had a Porsche and my other car's a Vauxhall Corsa.

Yeah, I've seen one on a Porsche, my other car's a Porsche. Like, someone's got more than one. But anyway, I went to the cinema on Thursday. It was the opening night of Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness.

And I'm a big Strange fan from the old days when he was just a comic book. My son actually, I think I mentioned, was reading his entry in the Marvel Encyclopedia and it says do you know that when he said when he goes into temples his hair goes gray does he i'm sure i've

seen him in temples and he'd read graying at the temples and just he didn't know what temples were you know as part of the head um and i'm wondering if the word temple for side of the head has died out a bit. I don't hear it much. Yeah, it's a good question. I hadn't noticed, but maybe that's the answer in and of itself. I haven't heard the word temples for a while. That's confirming your theory.

Yeah, you know the old playful bullying thing of holding someone in an armlock and rubbing your knuckle into their temple? Well, that's confirming your theory. Yeah, you know the old playful bullying thing of holding someone in an armlock and rubbing your knuckle into their temple? Well, that's... That's gone. But would we call that a noogie? Would you have called it a noogie? Oh, no, we didn't have a name for it.

Whereas you went quite a verbose description of what you were doing. We just go, I'm giving him a noogie. Yeah, I've never heard that. A noogie would be some variation of knuckle or something. Knuckles on head or something like... Oh, this is going to take some parsing. Texting?

You know, what do you call that form of bullying when you squeeze your knuckle into someone's head-clamped temple? What would you call the temples if you didn't call them the temples? I'd call them the side panels. Which would you call them? Graying at the side panels. I, yes, I feel on my head.

Frank is a robot, we should have explained. Yeah. I feel they're the weakest part of my head, probably the temple. Are they? Yeah. It might have been weak in my years of nogging

was it nogging nogging sorry but I've trained mine quite hard you shouldn't let on Frank

people know it's your Achilles heel oh that's true get them in the temples that's true side panels I apologise yeah

there is a there's a archer assassin that waits for me outside the radio station sometimes and most of his arrows have gone harmlessly into my torso. But now...

Now he knows where to go. Now I've spilt the anatomical beans. It's going to be hell out there. Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio. What's here what? Speaking of people I love

I'm a big Elvis Presley fan Chloe you look alarmed Sorry who's that? Just kidding I saw a trailer for the new Baz Luhrmann Elvis Presley film It might be the worst trailer for a film I've ever seen. My gosh! And I'm a massive Elvis fan,

and I thought, I'm definitely going to see that. And I still will see it, but it looked like a bad night on Stars in the Rice. Can I just ask, Frank, when you say you're a massive Elvis fan, you mean that you're a huge fan of Elvis. You don't mean you only liked his massive years. No, although I liked his massive years as well, more than most.

I like an on-stage karate demonstration mid-gig. Me too. But, yeah, that was your era, Al. They were my favourite Elvis years. But really, it can't be as bad as the trailer. But I do think that we have a tendency at the moment for, because of the way films need to sell themselves, trailers give so much away

and they're so high production and so good that maybe Baz Luhrmann's gone the other direction and gone, I'm going to make the trailer rubbish and the film absolutely bang it. Although I would say I think Baz Luhrmann has given too much away. Oh, really? Yeah, no one will go. But we do know the story of Elvis.

Yes, that is true. They had a trailer for the new Downton Abbey film and it had clips from the film, but mainly it was the actors on a red carpet talking about what a brilliant film it was. They've started doing that now and I don't like it. I thought, yeah, lost a bit of faith in the material. Who's playing Elvis, Elvis Frank?

Well, Elvis is someone I've never heard of before. Right. Matthew Kelly, his name is. No, it isn't. No, and also it looks like someone has been made up to look like Elf I mean I could I might if I see and it's good believe me I will be on this show chain but on the strength of the train like it's the worst film has ever been made anyway that's that now one thing I do not want this show to end without mentioning is as I say I saw Chloe Pets

on Wednesday night for the first time here she is on the radio show we spoke for about four minutes after the show so three of them was my mum insulting you exactly and then I had a photo with your mum there was a lovely bit where I was going to say how good you were with a swear

word in it and I put my hands over your mum's ears and she thought I was embracing her and warm to it it was a great moment if you hadn't been there that's all i'm saying and your dad obviously um dad probably would have given you the girl it would have been like a mussolini style kiss you know it would have been uh it wouldn't have been like a passion i'm on about affection any road up so Chloe was great and she's on tour

so over to you Chloe this is plug I'd love for you to come and see me on tour my show is called Transience I'll explain all about that I finish at the Soho Theatre this evening. It is sold out. Apologies for that.

But then 14th of May, if you're in Bath, that's my first official project. That is actually the next time I'm in a bath. Is it now? 14th of May. It's on my calendar. Works on a very scheduled hygiene system, let's break. Well, when will it be the next time you're in Leicester

because for me it will be the Sunday the 22nd of May you're not going to do a Steve Wright in the afternoon I'm going to do every single one Frank lock in

no she's on tour from mid-May and if you go on the internet and look up Chloe Pets with a double T yeah you'll see that

thank you so much for doing the show today as they used to say in ancient Rome mucho apreciatum. Honestly, it's been an absolute pleasure. And just before we Was that a pun?

Yeah. I'm going to say yeah. Okay. 732 has said, morning Frank and associates. This is in regards to the George Merriweather chat and the leeches earlier. It seems I've always misheard your customary sign off as if the creeks don't rise, when in fact it's if the leeches don't rise. It all I've always misheard your customary sign-off as if the creeks don't rise, when in fact it's if the leeches don't

rise. It all makes sense now. That would make sense, of course, because if the leeches rise, there is going to be a storm. There we go. I'm going to get a Tempest prognosticator. I think there's still time. There's still time. They'll have one in TK Maxx.

Okay, so look, so thank you, Chloe. Thank you, Al, but, you know, I'm fed up of thanking you. Thank you so much for listening to us this morning. And if the creeks or leeches don't rise, we'll be back again this time next week. Now get out. This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. this time next week. Now get out.