The Frank Skinner Show - Community Singing

Episode Date: January 8, 2022

Frank Skinner's on Absolute Radio every Saturday morning and you can enjoy the show's podcast right here. Radio Academy Award winning Frank, Emily and Alun bring you a show which is like joining your mates for a coffee... So, put the kettle on, sit down and enjoy UK commercial radio's most popular podcast. This week Frank’s been to the opticians and has a surprising new likeness. The team also discuss the Mafia fugitive caught on Google Maps, a re-enactment of the Great Fire of London and the nicest celebrities we’ve met.

This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Alan Cochran. You can text the show on 8 12 15, follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at Frank on the Radio and email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk Happy New Year to all our readers and Happy New Year to you guys. And to you, Frank. I want to start just briefly with, we've had some praise for you.

Oh? But what's going on here? This isn't a New Year's resolution that we're doing praise now, is it? No, we're not doing... In case anyone's new to the show, yeah, I'm very wary of these radio shows where it says, oh, Paul Cole said, fantastic show, Steve.

And you think, all right, showing off. No, this is to do with your personal life. Oh, OK. I mean, obviously in an inappropriate way. Is it broadcastable? I haven't had messages of praise for that for a very long time. Just let that sit for a bit. Carlo Shaughnessy has been in touch.

What's going on here? I have to say, Frank on the radio was a delight to meet and also sent me a lovely note afterwards. Yeah, well, these are the sort of ones I used to get. And then he says, absolute gentleman, and he's got an two an emoji of the two hands pressed together in a in a praise or is it or is it a namaste it could be a namaste well what i would say is who how do you know what did you do i don't know but you wrote to him

i met him and then sent him a note lovely it was it was very kind of you. That's nice. Yeah. Unless it's that... I've really put you on the spot here. What's his first name again? He's called Carlo Shaughnessy. Okay. It was an answer to, who's the nicest celebrity you've ever met? And you came top.

Ah, that's good. Only with this man. Only with this man. That's good. Does he live in the wild somewhere where you don't meet celebrities? Well, look, you know, I'm glad. I don't remember writing a note.

I mean, I often get mixed up with Graham Norton, but it can't have happened on this case. I don't think he'd have wrote the note. Okay, so I just want to say we're going to start 2022 with you being the nicest celebrity someone's ever met. That is. What's the nicest celebrity you've ever met? In what capacity?

Well, is there a capacity for niceness? There very much is for me. Okay. Okay. It's a tough question. I know you've met

a few as have I. I'm going to say in my top three is Jim Carrey. Oh, lovely. Really? I walked into his dressing room

by mistake. Yeah, right. I did. I thought it was Jonathan Hoss. You walked out of room by mistake. Yeah, right. I did. I thought it was Jonathan Ross. You walked out of it by mistake, more like. I thought it was Jonathan Ross's dressing room. OK.

And I had my feet up and I was sitting there making myself at home and I offered him a drink from the fridge and he said, no, I'm OK, thank you, I'm OK. That is. And it was his fridge. He didn't say a word. He just tolerated me being there. That's nice. No, he was OK. Thank you. I'm OK. That is. And it was his fridge. He didn't say a word. He just tolerated me being there. That's nice.

No, he was charming. What about you, Al? Sorry to spring this on you. As it happens, I was just reminiscing about this with my wife the other day and she said, do you know what I've just remembered? When Sir Trevor MacDonald told me that I looked glowing, she was pregnant when we met. I worked with Trevor MacDonald, no big deal looked glowing. She was pregnant when we met. I worked with Trevor MacDonald, no big deal.

I'm Sir Trevor. And he said, you look glowing. People always say that, don't they, to pregnant women? But he meant it. He meant it. It sounded really sincere. These blokes, get them off the autocue, these news legends. They just start banging out the clichés.

I'll tell you who was surprisingly nice. Robert Downey Jr. was great. He was great. And I'll tell you, he asked for a drink of water and a runner came with a bottle of water and he looked at me, Robert

Downey, you know he said I used to be quite a big star and the water had got like about two inches out, like someone had had a drink out of the bottle. With some Hollywood stars, it would have been that person would have had to be sacked. But no, I really liked him, yeah. Okay. So that's it.

That's our favourite. What a strange bedfellows. Robert Downey Jr., Jim Carrey and Sir Trevor Macdonald. I'd like to watch that particular film. I think that would be good. Shall we make it a text? Is it too tedious? No, because I like that it's...

I think it's a positive start to the year as well. Yeah, that's what I think. Not like worst, nastiest, most unpleasant. No, I'm pleased with that, though. Nicest celebrity you've ever met. Yeah. And I don't want people from my past. Come on, girls.

You know what? We agreed. Girls! Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Do you know what I don't? You know, when you're driving along down the motorway or something and local radio interrupts with traffic news. Oh, yeah.

I hate that. Who cares about that? People might think that of us when they hear us. Well, they might do, but three hours is quite a long interruption. But often the volume's a bit different, so it's a bit louder or something. Someone's shouting at you about the bar laying roundabout or stuff like that.

Yeah, I agree. And I think it means that you've got the setting on your stereo on, there's like a little TP or something like that. There is, yeah. That says interrupt with travel news, and you need to get rid of that somehow. I mean, I don't know, because I'm a guy who drives his car

with the clock wrong for half of each year. Me too. I don't know how to fix that. I have to say my PA's gone into it this year and put it right. Oh, really? Yeah. That was a dignified moment in your life. Yeah.

I'll tell you what someone said to me, though, the other day. I parked and I said they said we couldn't remember where it is because we were like near a forest, it wasn't really like a proper road and I said yes on the phone you know to get you back to your car. So it sounds like the beginning of a horror film Yeah I know it does

You sure picked a creepy night to go for a drive Freddy So I said, you know that thing on your phone that takes you back to your car? And they were all going, no. Yeah, I've got that. Isn't that a thing

now? Parked car? Faye, is it a thing? No, Faye's shaking her head. I thought everyone had got that. How awful. And the bottler thing, is that unusual? No, no. That's unusual too, yeah.

You know what? Let's try and be, I think, let's start 2022 by being a little bit relatable. I know, but when you get to my age, a phone that tells you where you park your car is absolutely essential. You know what I mean? It's not like a whiz kid tech thing. It's a help me, help me thing. It's like a cord in the living room.

It's like a gently held hand. Yes. That's what it's like. We've had a couple of nominations for nicest celebrity I've ever met. Okay. We have... Bridge has texted in with Cyril Regis. Oh!

Cyril Regis, some of you may not know, was a former West Bromwich Albion star. He did play for other teams, but... He did? We don't talk about that. And Jane Cartlidge... That's good, he was a... I met him, he was a lovely bloke.

Nice chap. Jane Cartlidge says Ted Robbins. Oh, Ted Robbins met him, he was a lovely bloke. Nice chap. Jane Cartlidge says Ted Robbins. Oh, Ted Robbins. Oh, I've met Ted Robbins. He is nice. Did he look after the donkeys on Heidi High? Was he that guy? Alan?

Oh. He was a warm-up guy. I thought he was the... Yeah, the king of the TV warm-ups. He was king of the warm-ups. Well, there was a few. Bobby Bragg was one of the other kings. I think there were three kings, as in the Christmas story.

You were the other one, Al. I think you bought myrrh. I was for a while. I think you were the one who carried myrrh. I did a lot of it for a while, yeah. We've also had John Hopkins. Hopkin? One of our regulars says,

years ago I met 1980s funny man Gary Wilmot. Oh, yeah. When he bought a Big Mac. He was an absolute joy, but then immediately undid all his good work when he sat down and ate said burger sectionally from top to bottom. Oh, no.

The Lord giveth with one hand and he taketh away with the other, says Hopkins. Yeah, no, I don't. That is eccentric behaviour, isn't it? I mean, it must be great. Imagine, I'm a big fan of delight gratification. You know what I mean? You work now and then you get your reward later.

Eating the dry top of a bun thinking, here comes dill pickle, must be a very lovely motivator. And a test. A real cycle. Like the kids who, if you don't eat that marshmallow now, you'll get two later.

It's like that. What about Wilmot starting at the top? But doesn't it finish on bread? Yeah, you finish on bread as well. Yeah, that is true. I'm out. Emerton Gooner has been in touch. Just going to chip in with these occasionally,

nicest ever celebrity I've met. Everton Gooner, the actor Simon Callow, spent the whole of a Eurostar journey opposite him and he was happy to chat and provided many an interesting anecdote. Did he? Oh, that would have been a great trip. Things that don't surprise me. Simon Callow was prepared to come up with many an anecdote.

Yeah. It's interesting because I met him. I didn't find him that friendly. And we'll just let that hang there. But maybe it was me. You know. But yeah, I'd love to hear him talk about Dickens and all that. I bet he

mentioned Dickens. Oh yeah. I think he'd be really interesting. He definitely would have mentioned Oscar Wilde. I bet he mentioned Dickens. Oh, yeah. I think he'd be a really interesting guy. He definitely would have mentioned Oscar Wilde. I think he just didn't like me. That's my feeling. At a different end of the show business spectrum, 644 has texted Noel Fielding. He complimented my seven-year-old daughter's jacket

and shook her hand. She refused to wash it for days. I like that. Yeah, at that age, they're always looking for an excuse. and shook her hand. She refused to wash it for days. I like that. Yeah, at that age, they're always looking for an excuse. No, he is a nice bloke. Anyway, we're getting too nice now. It started so well with a positive thing.

Is this a New Year's resolution that we're going to do sort of positivity text-ins? No, no, it's not. No, no, just for one week only. But I'd just like to add to that, if I may, the man with no name who had a fantastic long chat with Michael Flatley in a hotel bar in Ireland. Genuinely, really nice. Fantastic.

Bought me... Sorry, he just makes me laugh. Like, Flatley, I can't help. Come on, get a grip, then. Sorry, sorry, he just makes me laugh. Like, Natalie, I can't help. Come on, get a grip, then. Sorry, sorry. Bought me a large Monkey 47 gin. Wouldn't take one back and bought me another. It helped that we worked out my friend was his son's RE teacher.

Ah, there you go. Good old Flatley. Good old Flatley. I told you I shared a dressing room with him at the Royal Variety performance. He's doing this to me. And he stood in the mirror and he adopted what I can only call a sumo pose, sort of a see-my-squat.

And he had a hairspray can in each hand and he attacked his hair with both cans simultaneously and just kept pressing. We were all thinking, I mean, we all had to get changed in the corridor. Nobody could breathe in there. I think he must have gills, Michael Flatley, because he just kept spraying. And that's why he can do Irish dancing,

which is, I think, one of the most physical forms of dancing. His hair never moves a millimetre. He definitely sits in the Cumberbatch chair, doesn't he? Yeah. I mean, if you give him a lift arm on your motorbike, there'd be no worries about it. I don't have a helmet with me. He'd be fine.

Yeah, so a man of a thousand faces. How nice of him getting the free drinks out. Oh. Good old flatters. Oh, I'll tell you, I had my, I had, I went to the opticians this week. You know those moments when you start emerging after Christmas, New Year, normality starts to come back. You go into something normal.

Yeah. Christmas, New Year, normality starts to come back. You go into something normal. And I I was getting my eyes done. But you don't have wrinkles or bags. No, no. In an optician kind of way. I'm sorry. We're nicks in different worlds. And

she said did you use dry eye drops for any of those things? I said, I don't know. I said, I do cry quite a lot. And I just let it hang there. And then I said, I'm joking, I don't cry.

She said, oh, thank God, I had no idea what I was going to say next. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. We should mention Christmas a bit. I had to, you know, I was having,

we had the big, I went away with my brother-in-law's family. And so there was like about 15 of us, I think, Christmas lunch. Maybe not that many. Oh, lovely.

Anyway, we had crackers. And it was very, you know, now there's a sort of a, there's a move in the cracker world towards the crackers forming some sort of complete organic entertainment. They're not the individuals they're not the quirky individuals they used to be crackers so we had one um i remember a couple years ago that they had bells in them and it meant you could play a tune when you were all gathered around oh yes from numbered things anyway this year this year, it allocated,

the cracker that you opened allocated you a line from the 12 Days of Christmas. Oh. So then you all, you sing it. Sometimes it's two of you. Some, all of you go five gold rings.

You have to stand up when it's your line. It was, you know, it's one of the most enjoyable things. I love it. What can I ask Frank? I'm really, I'm quite excited to know what lion you got. I got, I had two lions. Oh, you had two?

Yeah, because a lot of people had two, because, you know, it encourages. You only have three lions, don't you? Yeah, exactly. So I had four. Calling? Four calling hens, yeah. And I had some lords a-leaping. I mean, can I just say,

lords a-leaping is in my top three of those lines. Yeah. Calling hens I could live without, no offence. But I like the idea of the landed gentry assembling for some sort of games day. Is it seven? How many lords a-leaping? Do you recall?

I think it was eight. Oh. Yeah. Faye, the producer, has thoughts on this. She says it's ten. She says ten. Well, that's...

Okay, fair enough. That's a great thing to be prompted on by the producer. Faye, can you let them know the lords are leaping info? Can I ask, Mike, who got, let's be honest, the big one,

and we know what line that is. Who got numero five? No, number five is big. Everybody does five gold rings. That is its democracy. Everyone knows that that's what we're after, the five gold rings. Were you good at it? Yeah, of course.

You know, you want to hit it right. There was one, I think the four calling hens, is it? Four calling hens? I'm very good at that. Four calling hens. I got that one on my own, so I tried it in effect. You know, if you're doing a series of takes, you give them some different stuff, you know, to work with.

Yeah. So sometimes I went deep, sometimes I had a vibrato. Nice. But it was, I would like to do that sort of community singing at every meal. I did it, I really, and then I led, there wasn't always the use of I Let It Fly, with me just calling out stuff like, Dog!

to lead so we know where we were going. Very favourite section of that. Emma, I don't want to put you on the spot. Oh, was There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly? Yeah. Oh, I can't, no. I like, she just opened her throat and swallowed a goat. Oh, that's good.

I picture an operation of some kind rather than her just eating it. Can I be honest? It's always given me the creeps somewhat, that song. Has it really? I really don't warm to it. I think we had a kid's LP of Burl Ives and he did it. But he also did the big rock Candy Mountain as a kid's song. Originally it was an adult

song I think, but he did it as a kid's song. But he left in a bit about the cigarette trees. Which is a nice touch for the children. Frank Skinner Absolute Radio I know we've done an awful lot of these sort of, I met a celebrity and they were nice.

But there are just two I would like to throw our input to. Oh, fire away. Oh, thank you. Casey Thrash, Hamish from Monarch of the Glen, once told me I had awesome hair during a fun run in our town. Here's a good one. I don't remember Hamish. I remember Monarch of the Glen, certainly.

Named after the Edwin Lansier painting of a stag. A stag rampant. Good knowledge. And Sir Edwin Lansier did one of the famous animal art. I'll tell you. The dogs playing snooker. Oh, we should have done that. Was he a horse painter?

He did the lions around Nelson's column. How lovely. But not as good as the dog's playing snooker. Dog's playing snooker. It's fair to say. as good as the dog's playing snooker. Dog's playing snooker. Jamie Smith,

when I was 17 on a TV course at the Edinburgh Festival, I tentatively approached a celebrity at a party who was great, talked with me for about half an hour

about football, comedy, and took a genuine interest in what I was doing. That man was... Prince Andrew. Don't give a deal. No, it was Frank

Skinner. Where was he at? The Edinburgh Festival. Oh, okay. Yes, I've been there. There you go. Isn't that lovely, Frank? You took a genuine interest in what he was doing. It is nice. It is nice. I met Kat Dealey. Oh, yeah. It is nice. I met Kat Deely.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember her. And she said you were walking through Spark Hill in Birmingham and my brother, this is her brother, was in a cafe with his mate eating chips and they saw you, recognised you and called you in. This is before Kat Dealey got famous.

And I went and ate chips with them in there. And that was the cafe where they had knives and forks on chains. And the woman used to walk around with a bucket and clean them at the table. So, lovely, lovely lovely memories as they say i'd love it if they did that at one of these like the ivy or something i'd love it if they did it was a really one of those flannels i don't know what they were made of but they were sort of gray and very loose linked the material and they'd walk around the water was completely grey.

And just come round and give the... The thing is, the cutlery would be wiped but never dried. Anyway, that was that place. Lovely, though. And we've had a number of people just wanting to... Well, I mean, they're being very polite about it but they're just clarifying yeah they're clarifying the order oh hold on just say it I would say they were more just clarifying the uh three whole the whole four is it three french hens four

french yeah i must i must say i think i'm calling birds three french heads yeah i think i made it clear that i was operating from a script on the day from some organic crackers i mean steven vadgarma says hashtag know your 12 days of christmas gifts yeah but i don Yeah, but I don't want to be the person who turns up next year and has learned it off by heart. You know, there's a famous story of Laurence Olivier playing, I think it was Richard III or something, and he was completely off the book on the day one of rehearsal. He did the whole thing off the book.

And at the end, the rest of the cast applauded him. That applause would stand a long analysis. I would say. This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner, Absolute Radio. Emily Dean, Alan Cochran. Text the show 8-12-15, blah, blah.

At Frank on the radio, Twitter and Instagram. Email the show, frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. Yours, et cetera. I mean, that was certainly House Keith Ping. Yeah, I'll do it properly. But people must get fed up of you. Well, they do now. Unless people are thinking,

I wish I knew the website address to contact them direct we should say and get well soon to our um producer sarah bishop who um has got the covid um i think she got it off her boyf details what's that what's that what's matt's official is he a ranch hand? I always think he might be a ranch hand. He's got a country and western theme. Yes, he has. Anyway, so I tell you what, it's great today because Faye's doing the whole thing on her own. And me and Emily in the studio,

Al is in Manchester. Me and Em are a bit like Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland. We are putting the show on right here in the barn. And Emily made her own coffee earlier. I mean, yes. Wow. Alert. Just wow.

I know, it was a thing to see, I must say. Another hashtag new normal. And whilst doing it, I said, I think a thing to see, I must say Another hashtag new normal And whilst doing it I said I think this is very good for us You did say that And then you put your cup Not quite under the milk In the milk machine

So it all went into the tray But you know, you have to learn We all have to learn You know what I mean, there's a ramp to every skill. You don't just arrive. Look, I tried. You did. It was lovely to see.

Oh, dear. I'm glad to see that my Devil Wears Prada reputation is being preserved. Well, it reminds me. You know, me and Lee Matt once had breakfast with the Crown Prince of Yugoslavia and his wife. I love that man. I love you. I love this story. And he said when Tito died and he got his palace back,

he arrived and the keys were in the door, a big bunch of keys in the door of the palace. And they didn't know what the keys were. So they had to go around the house, try him and his wife, just him and his wife, no servants or anything, just trying doors to see where everything was find the kitchen

That sounds fun That sounds really fun though It does, because you know, it's a palace after all, it's going to be good news usually if you open the door It would take ages and there wouldn't have been a big handbook like an Airbnb. It would have just been... You never know what Tito left in the dungeon, though.

Do you know what I mean? That would be a nervous bit of unlocking. Oh, I'll tell you what, we're talking about me... We sang the 12 Days of Christmas. I've been correcting it. It's officially established that I don't know the words to it. But like so many actors, when I was on the script, I was great. No, but you did know which...

You were very informative about the work of Landseer. Oh, well, you can't know everything. And we also did... We tried London's Burning as a as a round you know that one london's burning london's burning um oh that's a bit hard we weren't quite sure about that either it was very quick fire and fetch the water that's the great fire of london isn't it is it well this was a short one i don't think samuel peeps would have had time to bury his cheese. What about that? Oh, no, that sounded a lot more sordid than I meant it.

Oh, no, it did. But, you know, it did. I've got to clarify this, though, because that did sound awful. Horrible thing to say. When the fire, when they said people ran to Samuel Pepys' house and said London is on fire, he'd got a massive cheese, which he'd bought recently, and he dug a hole in the garden and buried it so that it wasn't damaged by the fire.

I mean, get your priorities right, mate. Yeah, but, you know, I think a big cheese thing. I don't mean a big cheese, but it was an expensive thing. What about when I wrote a song about the plague? It was only two lines. Was it Ring-a-Ring-a-Roses? No, it was this. You're not that old, are you?

No, it was this, Frank. The plague did hit London in 1665. There was hardly anybody who escaped alive. It's a good headline. Banner headline before we go to the details. Was there more? I can't remember the rest. What do you think?

I quite like it. I like it. I like anything with a year in it. What about Did Hit? Is that trying a bit hard? Did Hit. Oh, well. I've just been watching the Beatles composing

on Hours and Hours of that Beatles show. I think you're comparing the fakes. They're saying things like, no, it's good writing, but you can't really sing that line. We need another. So it's a lot of that going on. But I like things with the year, you know, late September back in 63. And 1792, was it? 1742, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

Is that right? We're going to get loads of corrections. I think 1742. And tonight I'm going to party like it's 1999, of course. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Can I just say that Fayaye, the producer today, has told us a lovely story of English life. In the village where her parents live,

this Christmas, was it this Christmas, they re-enacted the Great Fire in London. Oh, is everybody all right? Not really a Christmas. Isn't it, didn't five, I think there's only about five registered people who died in the Great Fire of London. OK, well, let's not dwell on that, darling.

Yeah, so they set fire to a Christmas tree and someone buried a... Was it a baby bell? Someone buried a... Oh, they buried a big cheese to commemorate Peepsy' burying of the cheese. I haven't made it up. That's nice.

Do you know, that is possibly the most middle-class thing I've ever heard, and I like it. Okay. I love that. I don't see why the working classes couldn't bury a cheese as a Christmas tree burned. All right, okay. 722 has texted in with a nice celebrity that they've met

and I like it because it gives it a wider range than it's had thus far. I once met rapper 50 Cent at the gym in Glasgow before one of his gigs. He was surprisingly nice, as were his minders. That's from Al in Glasgow. I've met 50iddy Cent. Have you? Yeah, a couple of times. Charming.

Did I call him 50? Sorry. Yeah, you said 50, but you know what? I still love you. If I met FC, the gym is where I'd want to meet him. I bet he's a guy who works out regularly. I think most American celebrities nowadays,

the Woody Allen sort of frail, you know, flimsy, they've gone, they're all... I was watching, I watched the new Spider-Man movie, and Tom Holland is like a child. He's almost like a child. Took off his shirt, looked absolutely gobsmacked. Yeah, ripped, completely ripped. Hench. Is that the word? I'll tell you what, he's that what he said is one of the words yeah i'm writing that down he's set the bar very high dominic holland for uh progeny of

the comic yeah dominic holland was a comedian who i used to work with a lot um good catholic and um comedian who I used to work with a lot. Good Catholic. And his son, yeah, he's Tom Holland, who is Spiderman. Spiderman! Very good film, I thought. But you know what? I'm utterly obsessed with the

Beatles documentary on Disney+. I can't. I'm utterly obsessed with it. And it's brilliant. I don't want it to ever end. I just like having it all in the background all the time. Well, they did, of course. Yeah. There's some great characters in it, though.

I know the bootleg Beatles have been around for about 20 years longer than the Beatles, which is, that seems wrong. Can I have a guess at some of the great characters that are in it? Yes. Go on. John. Yeah, he's in it. Paul.

Yeah. George. He wasn't in are in it. Go on. John. Yeah, he's in it. Paul. Yeah. George. He wasn't in all of it. He's not in all of it because he has what I believe Hugh Grant calls on set a bit of a shouty screamy. He does. Does he? Don't hit the smilers.

And Yoko's in it, of course. Don't forget Yoko. Is Yoko in it? She's in it big time. Is she? Yoko's in it, of course. Don't forget Yoko. Is Yoko in it? She's in it big time. Her and John Lennon move about like a pantomime horse that's lost its outer casing. That's how they walk about. I mean, when people say they're inseparable,

I mean, that is love, I must say. Or is it imprisonment? I feel most sorry for Ringo because every time he leaves the studio, everyone leaps into his seat to start playing the drums. It's tempting to play that. Having been in a few bands, people can't leave the drums alone. You don't want John Lennon playing your drums.

And also, at the end of most takes, they do a brilliant take of something from that album, like, I don't know, Dig a Pony, and then they sit around and say, even George, who's the sweet one, say, I think it'd be great, Ringo, if you, can you sort of go dum-dum, no,

and then John will say, no, I think why don't you go, and poor old Ringo's going, alright, alright, oh man, leave him alone. How many burgers, Bob? One, love. That's why I imagine that lyric came around. Yeah, sure.

That's what I play to my dog, Reggae. They love Reggae dogs. Oh, don't they? Yeah, that's what you play to them. To calm them down, yeah. Is it to do with the constant rhythm? On top of classical music it came reggae. My wepit does not

seem to love Belgian house music, which is what I listen to. Belgian house music you listen to? Yeah. Like techno, Belgian techno house sort of stuff. Wow. She's not as into that as me, for instance. Can I ask you, I'm taking you completely serious on the Belgian house.

Okay. Do you really listen to it a lot? I listen to it sometimes, yeah. Do you listen to it like, is that like if you were working out, you'd listen or would you actually sit, would you sit in your room and think I'll put on a bit of Jean-Paul, Bata Sands?

No, but I have been known to think, oh, I'm going to go and do my kettlebells. I'll put on a DJ mix by, for example, Charlotte De Vita, which is, she's Belgian, I think, and that's exactly why I picked Belgian house. Yeah, see, that's what I think. I think of house music as something you listen to at an event,

which is a house thing event, or something you work out to. Not, I'm sitting at home relaxing. No, I wouldn't put it on and then read a magazine on the couch. No, that's... It's when you're getting hench. Too many mixed messages. Would that be right, when you're trying to get hench? Yeah.

Or rips. Yeah, yeah. Oh, by the way, speaking of community singing and all that, I had a go at... I couldn't remember the ladies of the court of Kinkaracticus. That's what I told the police, anyway. It happens to us all, Dave. Do you remember it?

Not only can I not remember it, I don't think I know it in the first place. There's a bit that goes, the fascinating stitches of the boys who put the powder on the noses of the faces of the ladies of the harem of the court of Kinkaracticus. But it builds up like there was an old lady. I'd like to have come up with that as a party piece. Well, Annabelle Grant, who calls herself Norwich Elf on the socials,

says Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1592. 15, not 14. Of course, 14. You're sounding like the contestant when they blue in 1592. 15, not 14. Of course, 14. You're sounding like the contestant when they come in afterwards and say, you passed on two and you got them and they get them in clear. Of course, 15.

Yeah, of course. As if they knew. I think I made it clear I was unsure of the date. And London's Burning is actually believed to be about the King Olaf pulling down London Bridge in the 11th century. Oh, I didn't think it was about the popular TV drama of the 1990s. Oh, I love that.

Did they use it as a theme tune on London's Burning? Oh, do you remember that? And then Craig Fairbrass, who was one of the actors in it. Oh, where did that come from? Extraordinary. I don't remember. Was he then Craig Fairbrass, who was one of the actors in it. Oh, where did that come from? Extraordinary. I don't remember. Was he related to Richard Fairbrass? Oh, no.

Right, said Fred. I don't know, for his sake. But Craig Fairbrass went on to become some Hollywood movie star. You know why? He got hench, Al. Did he? Vivi Hench. You have to, I tell you.

You have to get your Oscars in the gym Not in the rehearsal room This is my contention Is there a song Where he says that's my contention 8.15 We've had some good Information just come in

313 Hello Frank We've had some good information just come in. I love good information. Hello, Frank. It's My Contention is a line from Souvenir by Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark. You're welcome. I can't believe that I knew that. Do they use contention? I know they say, it's my direction.

Oh, it's contention. Maybe they rhyme, the two. Possibly. From Beat Route 66 in Teesside. I think the one is why that's my contention is what I'm hearing. But, you know, I don't think I know OMD well enough for that to have stuck. That was the most reasonable and sweet piece of graffiti I ever saw. What was that?

It was near Highgate Wood in the Highgate area and someone had just graffitied OMD. Oh. Which I really like. Just for graffiti, the band you like. If I was a policeman and I saw that, I would automatically assume only OMD would have done that and I would have questioned them about it.

Oh, yeah. Because a fan... Oh, go on, sorry. A fan would have said OMD OK or something like that. They wouldn't have just put the name. Yeah, rule. R-double-O-L. Or are my favourites.

What about when I was younger and I tried to sort of rebrand Christmas and I was trying to be... oh, I did something so embarrassing. I'm so embarrassed of this. I went through a period, Frank, when I was about 13, of signing all the family Christmas cards, have a cool Yule. Oh, I like you.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Merry Winterville. Oh, wow. Have a cool Yule. Apparently they all laughed at me and they never told me. I wonder if Yule Brenner signed this Christmas card with Yule, R-U-L-E, instead of R-U-L. I hope he did. I ate a missed pun.

That would have been brilliant. Here's my question. Do you remember we used to talk on the show about late eureka moments? Idiotic eureka moments, I think we called it the show about late Eureka moments? Idiotic Eureka moments, I think we called it. Yes, idiotic Eureka moments. When you realise something that everyone else seems to have noticed. And the one I used as my example was Maureen Lipman played a character called BT in a BT advert.

And I never associated BT with BT, which is very slow. Yeah, it's almost like a hidden joke or a thing that should be not very hidden yeah yeah well I've only gone and had one I had one over the Christmas break for some reason my son was discussing with us the the celebrity and sports star OJ Simpson. Oh, yeah. Remember her? The Juice. Exactly. Yeah.

And I said at one point, oh, for some reason, OJ's nickname was The Juice. Ah. And then I went, oh, OJ! Like orange juice. And I really felt a fool. When you remember something, it's a sensational feeling, but when you realise something, it's very nice to think,

oh, that's what it means, but then there's that after-self-loathing of what an idiot I've been. Oh, yes. Yeah, it's a tricky one. Well, one of them was Little Britain, which I had for a long time. What is it? It's called Little Britain. I didn't realise it was anything to do with Great Britain,

the opposite of Great Britain. I didn't know that. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's good, isn't it? That's too fresh for me. I'm still not convinced it's true. Is that right?

Yes. I thought it was a reference to Fern Britton post-gastric band. See, I think I just read too much into it. Okay. Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio.

So. Boys, I need to discuss something with you, which is a story I read which I feel is a very wholesome way to usher in a new year, because it's about a mafia boss on the run who's finally been apprehended. This gentleman is called Giochino Gamino. Gamino.

Giochino Gamino. Gamino. And he was discovered by police on the run in Spain. He'd been on the run for decades. Do you know how they found him? Did you hear about this? I did see it, but go on, tell us. Well, you know, on Google Maps,

they often have what I call a supporting artiste. Yes, exactly. Wandering around. You might see a builder. The extras, yeah. I love the extras on Google Maps. Do you know what they call extras in America? What they're used to? The atmosphere.

The Russ Abbots. I love those people. I love spotting someone. You know what I love? Go on. I love men with briefcases and umbrellas or women walking dogs that are surrounding the artist's impression

of large buildings that are about to be made. I like couples holding hands in those pictures. They always have those. Those are the little people that populate the artist's impression models. I love those pictures. They always have those. Those are the little people that populate the artist's impression models. I love those guys. That's what I would like to be in an ideal world.

Anyway. Do you know there are some famous people have been captured in a different way on Google Images? Is that right? Apparently Joe Pesci's on Google Maps. Oh, wow. In getting into a car in New Jersey.

Are they all mafia themed? Yeah, he's just playing somebody. Yeah, exactly. I've only just realised that. And Crosby, from Crosby, Stills and Nash. I don't think he's got any connections, has he? Well, I'm starting to wonder now. It's quite a thing.

When I read this story, my first thought, this guy, Sicilian mob leader, apprehended in Spain, I thought, you know who I really, really wanted to be involved and hope were involved? Interpol. Oh, yeah. Oh, man, I love Interpol. And I don't know if I've got to...

They used to be very glamorous when I was a kid, Interpol. And I don't know if I've got to... They used to be very glamorous when I was a kid, Interpol. I think because of the success of Thunderbirds, people got mixed up with International Rescue. And they really thought they were some amazing group. And I think they might just be like, you know, everyday police. They just have no international barriers. I remember my grandmother, any time anything happened, my grandmother would say,

call Interpol, buddy, call Interpol. And my sister did once say to her, I don't think they exist anymore. Do they not exist? 8, 12, 15. I think they must. Don't break it to me like that, that Interpol's gone.

Oh, if they've gone, I'm going to use their internet domain name to start a parrot export business. Yeah, Interpol. You don't hear much about Interpol these days. You don't, but I don't think they were involved in this. You've got a feel for him, though, haven't you? You've got a feel for him.

Is it Gambione? Gambione. Gamino. I mean, he's someone I would get the name right if I were you. He seems like he might not have a sense of humour about it. I don't think he listens to this. Of all the places that you'd think he might have been safe, it would have been Google Maps where they

blur people's faces out. Do they do that? Yeah. He had adopted the nickname Manu and then he'd opened a vegetable shop and a restaurant in that name. I mean, he was playing with fire. And I also read that on the menu was a Sicilian dish. On the Manu menu.

On the Manu menu was a Sicilian-themed dish. Yeah. And the logo was from theilian dish. On the Manu menu. On the Manu menu was a Sicilian themed dish. Yeah. And the logo was from the Godfather. It must be terrible though to have been so successful and so powerful and then to have fallen away to this.

Oh no, that's not Manu, that's Man-U. This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Alan Cochran Text the show on 81215

Follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at frankontheradio Email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk I once dated a man whose father owned the shop and so to bed, dot, dot, dot. Oh, yeah.

Quite a good little chat-up line he was working into the chat. Don't you worry. It was the dot, dot, dot, the ellipses he used. I'm wondering if, in the light of this mafia boss hiding behind a vegetable shop and a restaurant, if the Codfather chip shop could not be someone hiding in plain sight. Yeah.

Is that possible? Well, yeah, we should return to Gamino. So Gamino was spotted in, it was in Spain, wasn't it? Do you think people in the restaurant said stuff like, the horse's head was a bit undercooked? Yeah. Apparently. Apparently one of the giveaways was that, you know,

when chefs sort of throw a tea towel over one shoulder as they're doing that sort of stuff? Yeah. Apparently he kept putting it over his face. Apparently he was always hiding his face. I'm sorry, the last chef I saw doing that sort of stuff. Apparently he kept putting it over his face. Apparently he was always hiding his face. I'm sorry, the last chef I saw doing that was in an episode of Robin's Nest. Google it.

You know, this chap had been living there under the name... I mean, he'd gone to Spain. He's a mafia boss trying to create a new identity. What name had he chosen, guys? Well, I thought it was man who was his nickname yeah because he'd chosen manuel oh okay yeah i mean what was next plans i'll go to australia and call myself bruce yeah he didn't he didn't exactly push the boat out but do you know how he escaped from prison, by the way? No. They were filming, they were doing a movie and using the prison as a prison in the movie.

And he, I think someone was paid or whatever to attempt an escape on the day so that he could actually escape. And what he did was he escaped with the extras because they were dressed in prison uniform. When they were shuffled out because there was escape happening, they had to leave, he went out with the extras. So they sent him out thinking he was the atmosphere.

Do you think that means one of the extras got left in there? No, I don't think they counted them, really. Maybe they should have done. Who counts the extras? There should really have been a head count. So that's how he got out. But that's a brilliant escape story, isn't it? That's how he was sprung.

I bet he did catering before leaving. You know, the catering job for extras. It's not just how he got out. It's also how he got his equity card, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. And so he was on the most wanted list, I'm afraid.

And this Google... To be fair, he was only in the top 100, Italy's most wanted. I mean, I don't know. You know what I mean? It's not that. We are probably in the low 90s. Yeah. I mean, how many people are wanted in Italy that there's a top 100?

What I love... Yeah, many of those are scootering offences. Exactly, exactly. Moped offences. When he was arrested, apparently, Al, he said to the police, how did you find me? I haven't even called my family for ten years. I like that he's slightly outraged. He should have moved to England,

because people who haven't called their family for ten years would blend in a lot more here. Yes. Oh, by the way, Julian Steinberg has tweeted us to say Leslie Crowther on a sponsored walk. Very nice chap. No, I'd guess it. I think he was a West Brom to say Leslie Crowther on a sponsored walk. Very nice chap. No, I'd guess it. I think he was a West Brom fan, Leslie Crowther.

Oh, here we go. If you're a West Brom fan, you're a lovely person. And of course, he was the first host of the old Come On Down in this country. Annie QPR, one of our regulars, Happy New Year, Annie QPR, has sent a rather enchanting photo.

It's my son being caught playing football on Google Maps, she says. He's 17 now and he looks about six or seven in this photo. Yes. It's adorable. It'd be a great thing. I think that Google Maps, they've got lots of money, Google. They should throw an enormous party. How?

How? Of all the things he's ever said, I tell you what, they've got lots of money, that Google. They should throw an enormous party. Of all the things he's ever said, I tell you what, they've got lots of money that Google. Throw an enormous party every year for the people who's on who's been on Google Maps. I think that would be a lovely word.

Breaking news today, this news just in, Google have got lots of money. Oh, I'd like to ask them, Annie QPR, by the way. Sure. Just to fact check, because this is something that I believe on Match of the Day

in the 70s used to get QPR every now and again in the winter and I think they were in the third division at the time. They were certainly in the third division at the time they were certainly in the third division in 1967 when they won the league cup by beating West Bromwich Albion by kicking the

goalkeeper in the chest anyway and they used to be on the telly because when it snowed the BBC outside broadcast couldn't get any further than than QPR's ground.

Yeah, so they were on quite a bit. But maybe Annie will know the answer to that. Okay. Thank you, Annie. Thank you. Are we talking Orange Ball coverage? My worst thing ever. Lots of Orange Ball.

Thanking you in advance. That's terrible. Yes. I got that in a hotel where they ask to sign the, you know, they leave a book in your room to sign and it says thanking you in advance. Oh, how dare you, the presumption of the people. Yeah.

Yeah. What if I'd just taken the thank you and then not signed it? Yeah. Then it felt like fools. Frank, you know already my worst thing I hate in a shop is when someone says, you know the tone I don't like? Go on. Do you need any help at all?

Well, Happy New Year, if shouted by someone in a sort of very loud, public, jovial way, it often becomes Happy New Year. And I don't know quite why. As if one often says Happy Year. But I'm going to add new as it's so early on that don't make no sense. Anyway, don't forget our texting this morning. Which TV chef would you like to see arrested by Interpol?

We've had some nominations through for nicest celebrity people have ever met. Okay. Roger Dobson has said Lemmy. Oh, nice. Pastry Saint has... said Lemmy. Oh. Who knew? Nice. Yeah. Pastry Saint has... Who Lemmy is?

OK. Pastry Saint has said Phil Jupitus. OK, yeah. I know Phil Jupitus. Well, I used to know Phil Jupitus. Very nice. OK. And Captain Scott...

Oh, I don't... It was before my time. I don't. Yeah, this is a late review. Captain Scott... Oh, I don't... I think it's before my time. I don't... Yeah, this is a late review. Captain Scott, rather surprisingly, has actually tweeted us. OK. So, and he said...

I mean, Cammy gets a lot of shout-outs here. Chris Kamara. Oh, yes. Hugely popular with people. Yes. Yeah, that is a laugh. More surprisingly, Brendan Eyre has plumped for Anne Widdicombe.

Really? Wow. Did you see that coming? No, I didn't see that coming. Did not see that coming. yeah that is a laugh more surprisingly brendan air has plumped for ann widdicombe really wow coming no i did not see that you see you never know i met um chris um i met him in the pits at um silverstone oh i thought you were going to go Wales. It was either going to be Wales or Silverstone. No, you were on the same coal face, me and him. Holding a canary. And yeah, he was

very nice. And I sort of wanted, for anecdotal reasons, for him to be not so nice. But he was nice, so stuck with it. I like a text in that can range from Fiddy Cent to Anne Widdicombe. Yeah, via Christaberg. Yeah, exactly. Lady in bread.

Not for that. OK. We've been discussing the mafia... Escapee. Yeah, escapee, gangster that ended up in a deli in Spain. Do you think there was ever a moment when he was on the counter at the deli and somebody bought a sandwich and said, how much? God, this is daylight robbery.

And he went, no, no, this is not daylight robbery. Yeah. You're so on the device when you tell that story. You so want to do the vice when you tell that story. You so want to. But for so many reasons, I feel it's best not to. Because, you know, like I say, I like my house. I like my life. They caught another mafia guy last year

who was doing cooking videos on YouTube. What is it with cooking? They've watched too many episodes of Goodfellas. I think it must be that. I mean, they've watched Goodfellas. But you don't go on YouTube if you're, you know, on the run. That's what I thought, isn't it? No, yeah, exactly.

I had a thought. I shouldn't be having to tell them that. The law of the influencer dollar, it's too hard to resist for these crims. And also, if you're a really good cook, it must be very tempting

to get it out there. Oh, well, never mind. What price? Life and liberty. I know. That's always the prison canteen. I bet they were clicking their heels together,

those prisoners, when they heard Manu was turning on. Oh, man. Garlic bread. Frank Skinner. Absolute radio. I would like to draw your attention to something, Frank.

Go on. It's a subject that's been getting a lot of traction on social media on the smeeds probably why i don't know about it okay i know because you've got class and you avoid it no it's not class it's well it is really which concerns ronaldo okay now by some regarded as the G-O-A-T of football. Yeah. Okay. He has been compared with someone others would say was the G-O-A-T of comedy. What, you mean me? I just thought it wanted to guess me straight away.

I like that it didn't take you long to get there. Oh, am I right? Okay. There's a statue of Ronaldo, which has been erected in Goa, and people are comparing it. I mean, so many of our readers have been in touch, saying, oh, my God, this is Frank Skinner. It looks so like you. See, I don't think me and Ronaldo look very alike, do we? No, but in statue form, maybe.

Yeah, statue form changes. All bets are off when someone becomes a statue. He's not had a lot of luck, has he, in statue form, Ronaldo? Oh, no, didn't he have... He had another terrible one, didn't he? I'm saying this is a terrible one because it looks like... Well, I mean, it looks a bit like you, it does look

like it was sort of made in 1948. You're right. Do you know what I mean? It looks, it's got an old... Even I wasn't made that early. Not far off. Raps to 73 said the likeness is uncanny. I mean, I've had so many people... Have you seen this statue?

Let me have a look at the... OK, I'll show you a picture. Emily is now actually passing me her phone. This is live radio at its most dynamic... That does actually look like me. They've even got the forehead. A number of people have said that, but I wasn't going to point it out. No, I'm OK with that.

OK. You're discreetly done, Emily. Yeah. I believe that in 1 a thousand years' time, all human beings will have four heads like this. Do you? I'm just ahead of the game. But what's interesting is what I like

is you've essentially now got a statue of you, which is lovely. Yeah, because I could just hang around by that statue to make friends, because people wouldn't know. Make friends! Make friends! But I don't look... I don't look...

I think I'd have to travel the least that far. Who's going to go to make friends near a statue? I mean, that doesn't sound at all weird. What, holding a plastic bag with Doctor Who merch in it? I bet that... They'd probably know Doctor... Oh, by the way, it's William Hartnell's birthday today. First ever Doctor Who.

Oh, it hasn't come through on my Who Alert for some reason. January 8th they crammed them in David Bowie Elvis Presley Shirley Bassey William Hartnell I mean wow

who do I get on my birthday I get Mikhail Baryshnikov oh do you bless you yeah exactly

thank you and Aka Bilk that's my that's my team can I just say something? NB Isabel has been in touch to say nicest celebrity she's ever met?

Let me guess. Well, that's a bit weird. Topol. No. Tony Bennett at the recording of one of your TV shows, Frank Skinner, in 2005 circa. What? What was your impression of Tony Bennett, Frank?

Tony Bennett, I mentioned Sopranos and he said, that's bigotry. No, don't say that, it's bigotry. Bigotry. Yeah. Which was a bit awkward, I'll be honest with you. I hope he wasn't listening to the Google Mafia story. Oh no, he's no longer with us, I think, Tony.

I once went to see Tony, Benny, at the Albert Hall and there was a terrible smell of burning. Oh, dear. Someone had a cigarette near his hair. The sound desk... No, I don't think his hair was in the building. Was it in a cab at the time on its way over? The sound desk started smoking, the actual desk,

and they had to stop the gig. Oh, no. And, yeah. I also went to a Kenny Rogers one where they called it off because of a bomb scare and we saw him speeding away in the back of a limo and somebody said, Look old Yeller's leaving,

which is a line from Coward of the County it was me who said it of course Oh and I think we've got yet another um Correzione Correzione Ole Ole Ole Yet another... Correctioni, Correctioni, ole, ole, ole.

Yes. Yes. Alexei Romanov has been in touch. Is he the one that got away? OK. To say Tony Bennett is still very much alive. Well, it's great news. I'm happy to be wrong about that.

He retired last year. He's still alive at 95, isn't he? Still alive at 95. Apparently he's been spotted on Google Maps. They thought he was gone. But he is out there. No, I'm very happy to hear that. He was very nice when I met him.

Was he at an Italian restaurant? Frank, that's bigotry. Oh, yeah. Wait till he sees those Dolmio adverts. Oh, man, he won't like that. He won't like that. We've also had a message from 341 re-Google Maps. Happy New Year.

My late nan has been immortalised on Google Maps, doing what she did best. Gassing out front to one of her neighbours. That was about ten years ago the pic was taken and it's been removed. That's from Ste in Runcorn. That's kind of nice. Somewhat bittersweet for a Saturday morning.

It's a grand old tradition though. Just the word gassing. Yeah. There used to be a song by... In fact fact i think this might have been an example of bigotry and it was um bernard cribbin bernard cribbins did a song called gossip calypso which was um i think he is this okay it was about women gossiping okay he also did another one another one at the bigotry front, was I think Eat Your Macaroni, Joe, it was called, in which I think he did.

I think that was Bernard Cribbins, didn't it? In like an Italian-type voice. We didn't know. I have some more examples of encounters with celebrities, benign encounters. OK. We have Mark Nichols. I met June Brown and John Barden.

No, I don't know Barden. I don't know June Brown. Who's John Barden? I think he played an elderly man in EastEnders. Jim somebody or other. Oh, the husband of... I think he was. Yes, yes.

Well, I actually cooked for them. They were really nice. June was showing me her electric cigarette. Were they cotton really nice? Oh, yes. Dot cotton. Well, I actually cooked for them. They were really nice. June was showing me her electric cigarette. Were they cotton really nice? Oh, lovely. June was showing me her electric cigarette. This was back about 2009. Okay.

And then Pat Comey. Is that why they call them e-cigarettes? Do you remember they were called e-cigarettes? Electric. I had a joke where I was really proud of, which never worked. And I said, I smoke an e-cigarette, but if I'm feeling very poignant and bittersweet, I smoke an e-minor cigarette.

And never got a laugh. And then they started calling it vaping, so there was the e element. Oh, you had to lose it. It was one of those jokes I was excited to do, and it played to utter silence Oh well Very cruel comedy can't it

Very cruel Pat Comey has also been in touch Another vote for Lemmy I was lucky enough to meet Lemmy a few times too and he was always sound Ah the diehards he would say Always good humoured Nice I like ah the diehards I he would say. Always good-humoured. Nice.

I like all the diehards. Yeah, I do as well. I think you should start saying that, Frank. Do you think Bruce Willis says that? Yeah, he does when he gets his bank statement. His royalty check. That's what he calls them all every time they come in. Hey, honey, the diehards.

Ah, the diehards. Oh, man. Think of the vests. Trays of vests he must have in his dressing room. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yes, were you going to say something? I think we're about to close.

Yeah, we've got a few. You know what? I might save some of these for next week. Save them? I think we're not. We haven't been. I like it when we go retrograde. Yeah, I think we will.

And we've got a few things. We have got people's texts that they've been very kindly sending in over the festive period. We will be returning to those. Next week, guys. Okay, so coming up next is Sarah Champion. Listen to her.

I should say, unashamedly, that my poetry podcast is back this wednesday the 12th of january for a brand new series you can download frank skinner's poetry podcast wherever you get your podcasts it's i mean all i'm saying you know is five stars in the times and one of the times best podcasts of the year i know know I say it as shouldn't, but you know what I mean? It's a poetry podcast. It needs all the support it can get.

Well, I say it too. Can you give me two poets that I can look forward to this season? Caroline Bird. Oh, lovely. In fact, I start with Caroline Bird, who wrote a fantastic collection called The Air Year.

Yeah. And I don't want to explain what that means because it's very clever. And then I follow it with John Milton's Paradise Lost. Oh, wow. I'm in, I'm in. It's a biggie. Not the whole, not the whole thing.

Anyway, try it, just try it. That's all I'm saying. Thank you so much for listening to us this morning. As always, it's great to be back a whole new year. And, well, I'm guessing. Fingers crossed. Yeah, exactly. I mean, yeah, birthday coming up. Good Lord

spares us and the cricks don't rise. We'll be back again this time next week. Now get out! This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio.