The Frank Skinner Show - Donald Duck's Brother

Episode Date: May 4, 2024

Frank Skinner's on Absolute Radio every Saturday morning and you can enjoy the show's podcast right here. The Radio Academy Award winning gang bring you a show which is like joining your mates for a coffee... So, put the kettle on, sit down and enjoy UK commercial radio's most popular podcast. This week Frank has been back to the barber and has a new million dollar idea. The team also discuss Hilton's Zero Waste menu, honeycomb and dog blood transfusions.

This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute... what's he called again? Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. You can text the show on 81215, follow us on X and Instagram at frankontheradio or email via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. your email via Frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. So, you remember, you will recall when I went for a haircut recently and they wouldn't give me my line.

You assume a lot, my friend. I do remember. Skin fade, that's what they all want nowadays. Yeah. You repeatedly said, do not fade this skin. Yes. I said I want my line. I want to be able to see where the shaved section is.

And then the sort of curtaining of the longer hair. That's what I want. So this week I was ready. I went in and I thought, I'm going to play my card so heavily on the table. So I said to this guy, you know, I'd like it really short, zero at the sides, as they say. I said, and then, this is the important thing, I need the line, you've got to leave the line.

And he said, I don't. I said, you know, you normally fade it. Well, just leave the line. And this guy said to me, he said, but I don't want you to have this haircut. And I said, no, it's fine. I want it. And I said, I can go.

I will go if you don't. This is like when you said to King Charles, I beseech you. Yeah, but, I mean, it's my head. That's what you said. He was Prince then as well. King Charles said, iteseech you. Yeah, but, I mean, it's my head. That's what you spoke, it was Prince then as well. King Charles said it's my head. Yeah. In history.

No, but if, that's how you persuade members of the royal family, you beseech them. You beseech them, yeah. Frank, may I ask a couple of questions? I just need some details. Where was this establishment? Same place? This is my regular um yeah the Turkish

bar local to you oh they do a great haircut but they don't want to do mine right yeah I mean I don't I didn't know that the bar but I remember years ago um I was telling you about this I think Pierre that one of my friends wanted a mohawk and And he was about 15 and he went into the barber's and the barber said he had to bring a note from his parents. It goes against the whole mohawk tradition, doesn't it? The sort of person who wants a mohawk doesn't want to arrive with a note. Anyway, I couldn't get a note from my parents, obviously. So I persuaded him to do it.

And then there was a guy of a similar age to me in the next seat, and I heard him say to the barber, oh, is that what I should be having? And the guy said, no, it's for teenagers. Oh, my God. How did you get it over the line, though? Because he was very firm, it sounds like. I know, but I was saying really, well, I said I'd go.

Not in a threatening way, but I said, if you don't want to do it, I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do. Sounds quite a stressful experience, Trotter. Yeah, well, in the end, I said, that's great. That's exactly what I wanted. Brilliant. I gave him like a, I don't know, five quid tip or ten quid or something. And he said,

he says, that is a lot. He said, Your witness. He said, if my boss sees you, he will say, no, if my boss,

he will say to me, why did you do it? That's what happens when wives visit people in prison. Through the perspex. They don't say it to a bar, I asked for it. It's like a little OJ's book. I know, exactly.

I wasn't expecting such a firm moral code from the bar, but no. I'd like to interject at this point. Go on then. My next book. I'd like to interject at this point. Go on then. My next book. I would like to interject at this point and say, I noticed your hair coming in this morning and thought, that's a lovely haircut. Did you really? I actually, I genuinely noticed it and thought,

Frank's hair looks the best it's looked for ages. Well, I'll tell you something else as well. He said to me, do you want me to wash it? And I've never been asked that before. They just wash it know i'm not just there but every barber's because i think they charge more if they wash it so they suddenly put the towel around my neck i go i go down into the sink and they wash it and often i think i don't really need it washed but it's part of the thing i'd never questioned it before and he said do you want me to wash it? I said, no. And that was it. He didn't wash it. A revelation.

You know things you never, ever question? Yeah. Like, when you're going on holiday, could you post your luggage ahead of you so you don't have to carry it? Oh, lovely idea. Wouldn't that be great? Shipping. You just post it. You say, I'm going

to Portugal. Post your luggage to the hotel. You don't have to carry it about, worry about it, anything. No, and it's not remotely hassily, the postings. I think it would be as hassily as actually. Remember, I carry my luggage. I'm not one of these. You could post my wallet to the restaurant. I'm not one of the modern idlers

who feel they have to drag everything on wheels. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. And we were just reconsidering my haircut thing. I think the point is that

the people at the barbers are trying to give you what suits you. And I've completely abandoned my looks as being an advantage to me. And what I want my haircut to say is, this guy's an interesting alternative thinker. Yes. So it's not about looking good, it's about looking a bit weird. That's what I'm after.

I think you found your look. Congratulations. Thank you. And it's a great look. It's got something of, it's a little bit, a bit George Orwell. It's a bit Weimar. A little bit Samuel Beckett.

1920s, this European novelist. That's what I meant. Is that what you say to the barber? No, it's no good saying that to him. What I have to say to the barber is, oh, come on, please. Give me the line. Yeah.

Something I've never said on, like, most showbiz. I think it's not so much that they are really interested in how you end up looking and whatever. A bit, because it reflects on them. But I think they're fashion followers, and they just think the thing in now is skin fades, and that's it. Yeah, well, it's actually on the wall, you know,

skin fade, whatever it is, the T5 coin. Yeah. They should remember the full extension of the phrase, the customer is always right. The full phrase is, the customer is always right in matters of taste. Well, you know, my skin has faded. They don't need to do anything to me.

Do you think hairdressers are ever honest? And 8, 12, 15. Do you think they're ever honest and say, I agree with you. I don't think this works. I think we should redo it. Because in every instance I've had, when I've had a haircut,

there was a time when I was 13 and she cut it all off very short. I hadn't asked for that. And she said, never mind. You look like Juliette Bravo, who was... I remember her. Who was she, Frank?

She was Jill Gascoigne, was it? I don't know, but it was... She wasn't someone you would want to look like as a... I wanted to look like Madonna. Oh, I hope she's not listening, JB. No, as a 14-year-old girl, Frank. No, OK. She was a... What was she, Frank?

A sort of police detective. I don't remember. I've got her mixed up with another police woman. Yes, you've got her mixed up with a gentle touch. Yes. Which I was in. But anyway. Which I've always had.

I'll tell you, I had a very, you know, you like to think, with your haircut, like you say, you like to say, yes, I think a bit differently from the masses. You're pathetically saying that. I had a terrible advert for my home life the other day when I was talking to someone on Hampstead Heath and she laughed and laughed quite loudly and my dog jumped. And I thought, that's a suggestion. A suggestion that my dog does not hear laughter at home.

What was that? Especially female laughter. Yeah. Recoiled. What? Oh, man. I'll tell you what we did today. We were in Nottingham

because me and Peter is on tour at the moment. Where are we tonight? We are in Morpeth. It's not Morpeth. No, it's not Morpeth. Where is it? Well, in the meantime, while you two...

We can't forget where we are. Oh, no, we're in Dartford. Dartford. Yeah, we're at the Orchard in Dartford. Oh, wow. Anyway, we were in Nottingham. Scramping. We were in Nottingham last weekend,

and my friend Molly came to visit us, who's a veterinary student. So we quizzed her. We had a sort of vet's quiz. Yeah. And Pierre had a great question. When a dog needs a blood transfusion, where do you get the blood from?

Because you never hear anyone say, I'm just taking my dog to give blood. To give blood at the dog blood bank. Yes, what did Molly say? She says, when the human blood... That's what she said. She said, when the human blood goes past its sell-by date, they use that for dog...

No, she didn't. Oh, my. That was what I suggested. Shame to waste it. I mean, it's only a dog. Even if you give it them as an apparent thief, it's not thrown away. But it was very interesting.

Did we ever get to the... I think she said people actually do take their dogs to give blood. You can. Do they get a cup of tea and a biscuit? And then they die, of course, because apparently, according to modern theory,

if a dog has a biscuit, it dies immediately. Considering I had dogs that didn't really eat anything else, well, maybe a bit of chocolate. Oh, here we go. It was all right

in my day for the dogs. It was. Their entire constitutions have changed over about 40 years. Now if they have chocolate, they implode. Frank's opinion on Absolute Radio. Frank, Julia Stonely has got in touch.

You were asking earlier about whether you could post your luggage. Well, you weren't asking. No, I was just saying things, you know, for question. Why do we take our luggage with us when we're just posty? And then it'll be at the hotel waiting for us. So Julia Stonely says, Buenos dias, here in Spain, people regularly send their luggage through the post office.

The suitcase is weighed and it has a stamp put on it. That's brilliant. Top right-hand corner. I love a Phileas Fogg suitcase. You don't get them these days. That's true, isn't it? All the stamps on. You don't get stickers with Istanbul and stuff on them.

I did buy some. Do you remember I bought some vintage luggage? There was a guy whose name was Bonnie something. You know how posh blokes are sometimes called Bonnie? I love a Bonnie.

Was it Bonnie Sterling or something like that? Anyway, all his stuff was sold in auction and I bought some suitcases. The suitcases

were heavier than anything I've ever put into a suitcase. That was the problem. But they look fantastic. I love, I like the sort of case

that someone would carry in, say, the 39 steps. Yes, exactly. Okay, that's what I'm after in life. Yeah, or if I've got a more formal business meeting, I go, did you send for an exorcist case? My little Ben team. Oh, dear. I'm sorry, I just laughed out loud

when you said if I've got a formal business meeting I occasionally have a formal business meeting I'll be having a lot more I think with my bank manager

the way things are going it won't be formal perhaps he'll be a bit off with me a bit more relaxed than I expect from him. Anyway. Amanda in Reading backs up the Spain luggage posting. Amanda Reddington?

Amanda Reddington. Yeah. But from a different country, to Frank, Emily and Pierre, you can post your luggage in Japan. On holiday in Japan, every time we moved on, we sent our luggage separately

and we could track its progress via an app showing a little suitcase moving down a map. That's the most brilliant. The Japanese, man, they've got it all sorted. When I go on walking holidays with my partner and sometimes my child as well, we have a thing in one part of the country that's called pack horse.

So you just put a light bag on your back and leave your big case at the b&b or wherever you're staying and then a man comes in a car and he drives it on to your next destination well that's how life should be i don't want big bags around me you can't have big bags because you refuse to use wheels. Oh, wheels. Wheels, wheels, wheels. Ben Harrington has reached out to us to say, hello, darlings, I'm in already. That was, I think, Charlie Drake's catchphrase.

I know that was, hello, my darling. Well, see, where are you going to go for your Charlie Drake references? I know, Charlie Drake. Much hated, apparently, in the industry. He was sort of up there with Madonna in terms of the bad rep. He got knocked out on live television, Charlie Drake. Did he? He used to do a lot of, like, stunts,

and he was live at the London Palladium. He had to go through a bookcase head first. And no one knows whether it was accidental or deliberate, but someone went in. It was all very, very loosely put together. And some carpenter guy went in and sort of put all the screws and stuff in it. So when they threw him, it just knocked him out. Straight into a really well-made bookcase.

Exactly. Like I say, he wasn't loved. There was a carpenter there going like, see that's craftsmanship, not a dent. Well, there's a small one in Charlie, but there you go.

Frank, may I share this with you? It's from Emmett Nguyen. Oh, yeah. Who's based, I believe, seems to be based in Basel. In Switzerland. Oh, yeah. B-A-S-L-E. As my American fashion colleagues used to call it, Basel.

Regarding luggage services, here in Switzerland, I love this email already. Can I just do a sidebar here? I've been watching, obviously, with the culmination of Easy Cake Series 3 this week, which is a lot of references to the CMA final. It's all that. Oh, yeah.

And a premiere. But also, when did finale take over as what people call the last episode of a series because they use it in England now don't they they talk about the finale I think around the same time season crept in

oh season we used to have series it's the Americans they will take over sorry to interrupt regarding luggage services, here in Switzerland, the Swiss Railways will collect your luggage from home and take it to your... How do they do that?

They're on tracks. I'm still... Listen, they will take it to your destination. That's fantastic. Also, you can get your bikes collected. I assume a lot, Edmonton. I don't have a bike. That's brilliant.

Nor can I really ride one. That's brilliant. I always think, you know, we're, well, I think basically we're the best country in the world. And then you hear stuff like that. I remember when Madonna moved to England and said, well, I ordered this fridge and the guy brought it like two hours late. And I thought,

oh my God, you're going to hate living here. That's great. Two hours late. Congratulations. Wow. Oh, that sounds brilliant. See, there's always

that we don't even think about getting our luggage ahead of us. I had what I thought was a sense of, you know, occasionally I have a million dollar idea which I just give to the public. Well, you say that. You had that idea for Gok Kwan.

Leather Christmas crowns. Do you remember those? So you can use them year after year. The trouble is it's not a growth industry. People will just keep their leather Christmas crown and hand The trouble is it's not a growth industry. People will just keep their leather Christmas crown and hand them down. It's not a growth industry, but it's a terrible idea. This is my grandfather's leather Christmas crown. Why would you want a leather crown?

That's what I do. Somebody sent me one and I get it out every year, so you're quite right. He thinks he has these great ideas, but it's things like leather crowns. But the thing... It's not a great idea, Frank. It's held up remarkably well. But anyway, it was based on the idea, the only hat I really look good in is a crown for Christmas.

Yeah. It's quite a narcissistic idea for the rest of the couple. Anyway, I had an idea for... You know, people are driving electric cars now. I don't know if you've heard of this. This might... an idea for, you know people are driving electric cars now, I don't know if you've heard of this. I, I, this might, you know for your phone you can get a mobile charger

that you carry. I thought you should get a mobile charger that you can keep in the boot, in the shape wait for it, in the shape of a petrol can. Whereas if you run out of electricity in the middle of nowhere, you can get another 20 miles out your charger and that will get you to a place you can get charged up.

Why does it have to be in the shape of a petrol can? Because it's following the tradition of you had a petrol can if you ran out of petrol. We're trying to get away from the tradition of the petrol can. No, we don't want to get away. It's a lovely reminiscence. It doesn't have to be in the shape of a petrol can, but I don't think you can get mobile chargers for electric cars. OK.

What do you think of this idea, Pierre? I think it could be in the shape of a big charger, like a mobile phone charger. Oh. It could be fun. Or maybe like a massive... What, a wire, you mean? A massive...

Yeah, but with a plug as well, just for fun. Medieval Night Horse. Another charger. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. You can text the show on 8-12-15. Follow us on X and Instagram at frankontheradio, email via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. Uh, oh.

Now we'll have to have some actual words. Oh, no. No, listen. I've just realised, I think I started something and didn't finish it. Oh. And this was from... Not for the first time.

How dare you. Ben Harrington. Oh, yes, that rings a bell. Do you remember? Yes. Did we not get through, Ben? We didn't finish Ben. Sorry, Ben.

He said... Ben, the two of us need look no more. Song about a? Rat? A rat, yeah. I had dinner with the man who wrote the words a few weeks ago. Did you? Don Black.

Okay. Not the man who sung it, I hope. No, I'm afraid he's no longer with us. No. Hello, darlings. Do you remember? That's how we got on to Charlie Drake. Of course.

Harrington led us to Drake. Yes. And then we left Harrington hanging. Yeah. And didn't we have Docs earlier as well? We did. Scrooge McDuck. Docs and Drakes.

Yeah. You got us on to Scrooge McDuck. I did. Never one of my favourites. He felt like more of the modern pantheon Scrooge McDuck. I've never really gone into Scrooge McDuck. Yeah, exactly. Never one of my favourites. He felt like more of the modern pantheon Scrooge McDuck. I've never really gone into Scrooge McDuck.

What relative Was he, what relative was he to What relative? What is it? Who do you think you are? Scrooge McDuck.

How many racial stereotypes were they getting in with Scrooge McDuck? So, was he related to Huey, Dewey and Lizzie? No,

those are his nephews. Oh, okay. So he's the brother of Donald Duck. I like they and Lily? Those are his nephews. Oh, OK. So he's the brother of Donald Duck. I like the way you sound like those are his nephews. Those are his nephews. Or nephews. They're famously his nephews. Donald Duck's brother.

Ridiculous. Donald Duck's brother. I think so. I love that. Are you sure? Does he look like Donald Duck? Well, he's a duck. Very, very similar.

But there are different kinds. I know. Has he got a green backside? You don't get mallards dressed up in sailor suits in Disney. Well, it depends what you ask for. Well. Specialist interest, but that's all right. Oh, no, Donald Duck is his nephew.

And those... Hang on. And Huey, Louie and whatever are Donald Duck's nephews. No, I knew they were his nephews. That's why that became... He must be their great uncle. Oh, you gave me erroneous information. Great Uncle Scrooge McDuck.

Oh, OK. OK. That changes everything. Why? Because I really like the idea of donald duck having a brother a bit like mycroft he's slightly even more real and even angrier duck do you know that's one of my other hated things is when they merge sort of literary figures with cartoons i think just don't ruin it keep to your own own areas. Don't merge it like that.

The Donald Duck Wikipedia page under characteristics has voice, personality, health, enemies. Who's his enemies? Who is his enemies? Donald has numerous enemies. Does he? I thought he was quite benign, Frank. Who's his enemies?

Apparently, Scrooge McDuck's only enemy is socialism. Yes, the United Workers. Ben, don't give up. We will get round to your communication. Well, it's appropriate you've said don't give up because he has Gabriel in his missive. Oh, OK. Oh, I think we're going far from the Madding Crad.

I'm looking forward to Ben Harrington's, but, you know, we have things we have to do before. Keep with us, OK. Oh, I think we're going far from the Madding Crud. I'm looking forward to Ben Harrington's, but, you know, we have things we have to do before. Keep with us, Ben. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. OK, Matt Harrington, not Matt Harrington. No, Ben Harrington. Ben Harrington. Hello, darlings.

Didn't the sheep all jump off the cliff shortly after the de-bloating from Gabriel? Unintended consequences. That is from Ben Harrington. No, I think what happened was that Gabriel's sheep were... Gabriel Oak was a shepherd and one of his dogs went mad and they drove um gabriel's sheep off the cliff thus leaving him destitute and so he had to go around doing things like um mobile uh sheep piercing well maybe if he hadn't been so good at debloating his sheep, they would have floated. Oh, but they weren't his sheep that had the bloat. The bloat.

You shall have a bloat when the boat comes in. Maybe you should have said that. You shall have a fishy on a little dishy. I found the name for what that sheep bloat is. Oh. Ruminil timpani. Oh. Isn't that good? Isnil timpani. Oh. Isn't that good?

Isn't timpani an orchestra? A type of drum. It's spelled differently, but it is fun to imagine drumming a fully inflated sheep. You get a good sound out of them. I don't care about the symphony, the woodwind or the timpani.

I don't care about the symphony, I'm suffering rural timpani. Yeah. That would have worked because it thenphony, I'm suffering rural timpani. That would have worked, because it then goes, I'm sitting in the balcony in the very last row, which is the best place for someone with rural timpani. Sorry, ruminal. I'm sorry, rural.

It is rural, though. You don't want urban ruminal timpani, an inflated cheap in London. Zone one. Well, you'd be alright pride weekend it could

parade Frank also German Fleet at Harg 83 has just pointed out or just

reminded us that you did a crisp campaign and you were associated with was it roast dinner

it was Frank roast, was it roast dinner? It was Frank Roast. Frank Skinner roast dinner? Yeah, something of that. I had to wear a giant chicken. I should say, I did not gain financially from it. It was a comic relief. Comic relief, yeah. And someone's just pointed out that Lionel Messi has brought out some crisps called Messi Roast Chicken.

So I'm just saying. What does that mean? Well, it means that he's stealing Frank's job. What's about roadkill? It's been dropped. He's stealing Frank's jobs off him. What's wrong with Lionel Messi? He's doing a sponsorship for Hard Rock Cafe.

Is everything all right at home, Lionel? I think he's a bit short on funds. Is he sleeping on the sofa? What's wrong with him? How much money does he need? He was in the Call of Duty game as well. You could run around with his face on. Yeah, he'll do anything.

Messi, they call him. He says yes to everything. Hello, this is Lionel. I can't take your call at the moment. Leave a message. Yes, I'll do it. Pero si, bueno. Honestly, though.

And he got done. Do you remember him and his dad were doing tax evasion stuff? He's money mad. Money mad Messi. Why does he keep saying yes to everything, Frank? Because that reason. He's very, very greedy. Wow.

And these are the role models our children look up to. My, my. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. So, Frank, discussing greed and thrift, e.g. Lionel Messi and Scrooge McDuck. Yeah. New sponsor, new partnership. I said, we're calling him now. Greed and thrift are sort of two characters on your shoulder.

Yeah. What was it your dad would say if you threw bread on the fire? He said, if you threw bread on the fire? he said if you threw bread on the fire the devil would appear yeah do you know who else shares that commitment? it was my dad where were you brought up? in a catholic home

I was brought up it was my dad not a public service broadcasting a blackadder he was very anti-wasting food, which I've inherited, and it was to stop us doing that, because we had a coal fire, so yeah, don't throw bread

on the fire. No wasting food. But there's another thing, like, if we left two knives crossed accidentally, then the devil would come as well. Well, of course, we all know the devil would come. I think he must have been local. He was always... Well, of course. We all know the devil would come. I think he must have been local. I was going to say,

it seems like the devil has quite a lot of availability. Same postcode, definitely. I mean, you know what I'd say, devil? Keep yourself a little bit, you know, a little bit of mystery about yourself. Yeah, exactly. That's true. Lucifer, leave them wanting more.

He's a bit, you bit pusher. So nice to the opening of an envelope, the devil. Yeah, he was the Bradley Walsh of my childhood.

Oh, here we go, the devil again. Don't throw bread on the fire or Bradley Walsh will appear. Bradley Walsh, they call him. Oh, man.

Well, you would approve and your dad would approve, I presume, of Hilton Hotels' new no-waste campaign. Oh, God, this is interesting, though, I think. And we're in hotels a lot, so we're very aware of what's available. Oh, I'm not messy, greedy boy. We're in hotels a lot. These days we're around too. We were in Edinburgh in a hotel.

Yes. We stopped off coming back from somewhere. Yeah. And the next morning I had porridge at breakfast. You hadn't come down, I don't think. And I had porridge. You're the biggest bear. He doesn't come to the place.

Exactly. And I was on baby bear. I was on baby bear. Yeah. And I said to the woman, do they have porridge? And the waitress, and she said, yeah. And I said, because I was in Edinburgh, I said, is it, she said, it's plain porridge. I said, has it got salt in it?

You know, because in Scotland people put... She said, I'm not the chef. I can't believe it. I quite like her. That's a more authentic Scottish response you might say. There was another one I was... I think this was in Scotland. There was two people with...

They had name badges on, and I said, Emily or Harry, can you help me with... And they looked at me like, how do you know our names? It was like, they looked terrified. You've got badges on. You're not supposed to do that. Anyway, sorry, carry on. Well, the Hilton has launched a zero-waste menu,

which I admire the sentiment. I'm a little sceptical, but they've launched a sort of menu where... They're always a little sceptical. Yes. Oh, is this the leftovers one? Basically, they're charging you the same money for leftovers at the Hilton now. So it's £40. What was on it?

Potato peel chips? Yes. Would you eat that. What was on it? Potato peel chips? Yes. Would you eat that, Frank Skinner? Potato peel chips? No? Well, I don't like... Aren't they a bit curly-whirly? I don't like wedges when they've got the...

The skin on? Because they have the skin on. Yeah. I've seen you eat the skin of a jacket potato. Oh, yeah, I'll do that. Why don't you like the way it's ranked? Yeah, hold on, you're right. Hang on.

I'm Columbo here. Just one more thing I don't quite understand. And also, why do they call them jacket potatoes when it's more of a suit? It's not like you get a different... They're not different coloured at one end. They haven't got some Donald Duck. Like he's wearing a sports jacket and Cheetos.

Yeah, why do they call it that? It's a soup potato. You open up the whole thing. I'd say it's a onesie. Oh, yeah. It's more of a onesie with the zipper exposed. Yeah, well, once you've caught it. Sexy onesie.

Sexy onesie. Can I have a sexy onesie potato, please? Get out. I don't think I'd want to ask that. We was in a cafe yesterday and Pierre ordered something and was so disgusted with the woman's attitude. He said, I don't think I'll eat anything at all.

I didn't order anything. What was the attitude? Oh, it took too long. They just ignored everyone in the queue and they were moving as if underwater. So I thought, life's too short for this. Should have gone to a spa, do you like? I like, as a man after my I thought, life's too short for this. Should have gone to Spud you like.

I like, as a man after my own art, he would rather starve than put up with that attitude. Oh, I love touring. Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. So Hilton is trying to seem greener by

cobbling together... Seem? Seem. Okay. Well, the reason I'm confused... I'm confused because they say, oh, it's reducing waste and stuff. Ox heart and potato skin chips and treacle tart made from leftover bread and things.

And the bread thing makes sense, because hotels must go through a lot of bread. Well, the ox heart doesn't make... Where else am I getting the ox? Hang on. Are they getting a whole ox? Tearing out its heart. And there's a heart left over.

Like a sacrifice. We've got an ox in, we use everything, and then we throw the heart away, and that's wrong. That's it. So now we're going to use the heart and throw all the rest of the ox away. We've learned our lesson. But they don't get ox. Where does the ox heart come from that's wasted?

You took the words out of my mouth. Ox tail soup's the only thing I can think of. Heart and tail, there's more to an ox than that. Yeah. Maybe it's hard to pull the tail off without the heart coming out. Coming out fully connected. Yeah. You out fully connected. You had that one. I use oxen for real live action panatas.

That sounds like in your biblical household, you would have had that. Pull the tail off the oxen. Yeah. And the heart. And the heart shall come out. Ezekiel speak. And then Satan shall appear from the flames.

Someone at the Hilton was saying, it's a shame, you know, we use all this ox and then we throw the heart away. We use all this ox? But that's what we're saying. We use, I mean, come on. But that doesn't make any sense. Hang on, they also said,

some of the leftover meal will be made up from poached Scottish salmon cheeks. Yes. I didn't know fish had cheeks. Yeah, well, my... They're flat-faced. My partner... They've had that operation.

Do you ever address a young fish affectionately and just pinch its cheeks? I've never seen a fish and thought, great cheeks. Salmon cheeks sounds like 1950s flirting. Hey there, salmon cheeks. Hey there. Watch what you're doing, salmon cheeks. There was one that they said that cod's tongue is another thing you can eat there.

That sounds like something from a restoration. Cod's tongue, man. Are you out of your mind? No, but Kath eats whole sea bass. Kath's my partner, in case you're new to the show. Oh, she... Do you know what? Not like a seal. I was going to say.

I was going to say, Kath does basically eat this menu. No, but Kath picks and picks at a sea bass until there's nothing left. And one of the things I've watched her do is scoop out its cheeks. Does she? Yeah, so they're definitely edible. She leaves fish looking like...

The only other person I've ever seen leaving fish looking like that is a cartoon character. Yeah, when they hold one up and it's... Or like an alley cat sort of goes... and pulls it out. That's what a cat does. It looks like when you see a fish electrified on a cartoon, you just see that show through.

Great sardine trick. So I remember, I think, Tom in Tom and Jerry preparing for a date by combing his hair with a fishbowl. Does he? Very vain. He says it was Tom, he does that. Terribly vain, Tom. I like the people who are on your hit list today.

Lionel Messi, very greedy. Tom from Tom and Jerry, vain. This is a serious question. Do people still do tongue kissing? Oh, Frank, disgusting. We were talking about cods' tongues. What's that got to do with tongue kissing? We were talking about cods' tongues. What's that got to do with tongue kissing? We were talking about cods.

I know, but I was once dumped. I was dumped by a woman, and then I found out, like, six weeks later, it's because I'd done... I thought you were supposed to do the tongues thing, and she was appalled by it, but she didn't say, don't do that, thank you. She let me do it and then dumped me.

Oh. It's quite an old time to bring this up. Well, I'd just like to know if people still, is it gone? Is that an old-fashioned? No, no, it's old-fashioned to not do it, I think. Oh, is it? Yeah.

You were dumped for being a modern, transgressive... Yeah, exactly. That isn't always the way. Once again, I was dumped for being different and now history repeats itself. This show is the tongue-kissing of commercial radio. Oh, God. Frank Skinner.

Frank Skinner. Absolute radio. Absolute radio. Yes, we were talking about saving food. And funnily enough, 690 has just got in touch from the West Midlands. This is Mel. My mum is a lovely Brom-y thing I love, because you say that. M-O-M is what she spells it.

Yeah, I love that. Fat Boy Slim, did I say this, texted me after my autobiography came out and said, were you brought up in America? Because I call my mum M-O-M. But where does mum, people actually say mum. Everyone else in the country says mum. Also, you know what, Fatboy?

More fools than. You know what, Fatboy? What? Always favouring questions over congratulations. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, he's a lot, I do, Fatboy's lovely. fat boy what always favouring questions over congratulations yeah no no he's a lot I do fat boy's lovely

um Mel in do you remember fat boy's diner yes yes I do that was good

okay um more later from Frank Skinner on what was good Mel from how do you say this Frank

is it Stourbridge? Yes, Stourbridge. Stourbridge is where Jude Bellingham comes from. Oh! Arguably the world's finest footballer. Yes. From the West Midlands, my mum still calls it food for the devil

if we waste food. Oh, well, there you go. It's still around. The devil was a kick figure in environmentalism in the West Midlands. The devil incited an awful lot in your childhood, as you said. We could finally unite the sort of environmental hard left with the traditional Catholic Church if we just got the devil involved in more ecological...

That's aluminium for the devil, if you don't recycle cans. And the new Green Party candidate for Brighton, the devil. Oh, wow. Because when I'm in bed tonight, on my own, I'll be thinking, oh, God, I shouldn't have done those jokes about the devil.

I shouldn't have crossed the line you know what he's like does he not he hasn't got a good sense of humour I don't imagine oh no I don't even want to think about it okay alright

he's more of a prankster is he yeah because he'll ask you he's getting concerned he'll grant you a wish but in the end it'll be a sort of big ironic prank

yeah I like the idea of eternal torture being a big prank. Anyway. Yeah. This thing about taking food from the breakfast that's left over. Yes. When I stayed at the Disney hotel recently. In the Spider-Man suite.

In the Spider-Man suite, yeah. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Change of sheets. Spider-hyphen. In the Spider-Man suite, yeah. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Change of sheets. Spider-hyphen man. Yes. Okay. There was the biggest honeycomb I have ever seen.

The whole breakfast. There was all these bowls and above it, like they had a big screen, a TV screen, was a massive honeycomb that you could just scoop. And I was wondering, I don't understand the environmental aspect. Am I basically eating a housing estate? Oh, yeah. Like Godzilla?

For bees, exactly. That'll be talked about for years to come in the bee community. Yeah. But it's true, the great earthquake. Hang it on the wall am I literally eating something that the bees has been taken from the bees

that they wanted yeah that's true all honey's been taken from the bees no but the comb the comb sounds like it's actually their homes I know that

because Billy Piper told me about that do you remember that song no do you remember when Billy Piper was a pop star? Oh, I love it. No, she sang about bees.

She did a song called Honey to the Bee. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Well, in this thing, in this... Pierre looks confused. I'm not lying, Frank, am I? Honey to the Bee. And it was about the bees.

Well, it was. It was about returning honey to the bees. I don't know what it was about, really. It was about love. Yeah. Probably some about love. Yeah. Probably some tongue kissing. She did. She said, I should be kissing you.

Ah. Okay. I should be kissing you. And then there was this sound effect. It went, eh, eh, eh, eh. Oh, all right. Actually, on this pre-processed re-thing waste food, there's a thing called the bee's knees cocktail.

Oh, yeah. That can't be right. That can't be that good. We keep throwing away the knees of the bee. We love bee sirloin, bee rump steak. But the knees of the bee are swept into the... I'd love to eat a bee's heart. Just the tiniest delicacy.

What about bee fingernails? They have little toes and fingers. Another little bee's heart. What a lovely present for Valentine's Day. That's horrible, Frank. What do you mean horrible? You'd swap one with a newspaper. I wouldn't. I love a bee.

But I can't eat it seven't, I love a bee. But I can't eat it severed heart. I love a bee. Open a little ring box and say, it's a bee's heart. Still qualifies as awful. God, the questions. This whole idea, I hope it asks more questions than it answers.

Frank's Cakes get on Absolute Radio. That was Bruce Springsteen and he's dancing in the dark. It's the boss. That's what it's going to be like when I've gone. You better get used to it. So this is

this is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. You can text the show on 81215. Follow us on X and Instagram at frankontheradio. Email via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. Frank, may I just say...

You may, of course, my darling. Thank you. Whilst we're on the subject of food, Adam Lethbridge, one of our regulars, has got in touch with a screen grab of the new Takis, Dragon Sweet Chili. I've already had some because... They look a bit, do you know what, they look a bit Satan friendly. Apropos of crisps...

They look a bit like someone who's chasing Big Lady H. I like to say it's Satan friendly. Don't worry, if you do drop any of these crisps, Satan can eat them safely. Satan can eat them. It's for a safe bet. Apropos of crisps, or crisps, as we call them in Zambia. What do they call them in Zambia?

Crisps. Crisps, apparently. Oh, do they? I trust that you've sampled the new flavour, very tasty, and Emily, gentler on the eyeballs. Yes. I don't know very tasty, and Emily, gentler on the eyeballs. Yes. I don't know if he's suggesting I'm gentler on the eyeballs after the extensive surgery I have had.

One of the management team at my, well, our management agents, if you include Pierre in this, it was called James Taylor. When you're tired and troubled and you need... He brought me back some from, I think, Los Angeles. Were they the black dragon sweet chilli? They were the dragon sweet chilli, yeah. How did you find them, Frank?

They were a little mild for me. You've really... Do you know what? Your tastes have become very extreme. Well, that's the trouble with turkeys. They tear out your taste buds and trample them on the ground. They radicalised your mouth. They did?

Yeah. That's a new slogan. Yeah, we're going to radicalise your mouth. That's good. Yeah. On the food waste thing, I eat a lot of meals, basically eating by numbers. I eat the stuff that's going off.

So, you know, that's my next meal. That's how I decide. You eat chronologically. I eat by thinking I really want to eat this, but this is older, so I need to eat this. Okay. Yeah. And my sister-in-law came around the other day,

and she said, have you got any eggs and the only eggs we had was 14th of April and this was like I don't know May the 1st and I said

all we've got to do is put them in water and if they float you can't eat them so we did it and it was all fine yeah really did you keep them in the fridge

pardon had you kept them in the fridge yes I'm not one of those people who don't keep eggs in the fridge. We didn't have a fridge in my childhood, so now I've got one. I'm a damn well employed. But the, um, we used

to have a pig bag which hung on the school gates a bit like a sack where people would take their waste food and put it in that and it would be taken away to wherever pigs lived near Smethwick. Probably not that near. And now to the Hilton Hotel. Now to the Hilton Hotel, there are pigs outside with placards.

So we ask, our children are starving. What are you doing? Don't give the pig bag the sack and things like that. Very good. Save give the pig bag the sack and things like that. Very good. Save our pig bag. Pigs have rights too. Keep your trotters off our pig bag. They're all chanting and standing on hind legs.

Oh, it's all gone very Orwellian. Yeah, Paris Hilton is terrified. Oh, it's like on a very Orwellian. Yeah, Paris Hilton is terrified. Paris Hilton said that she discovered religion, Christianity, when she was 35 or something. And she said she'd never seen the Bible before then. It's just part of the Hilton family.

Look in the drawers, Paris H Patrick. Look in the drawer! Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. I learn a lot on this show from the readers who send in all sorts of amazing stuff, but also from you two. And now I discover that the word throuple... Exists. Yeah.

And when you said it to me, I still didn't work out what it was, although it's a portmanteau, obviously, of words, of three and couple. And I'm told by my colleagues that what used to be known, and probably still is in French, as the menage... is it...

Atoi. Atoi. Atoi. The sort of relationship with three people in has become ever more popular. Yeah. Wow. You're going out in a blaze of glory, aren't you?

I had no idea about that. He didn't know about throuple. No. Well, there's even more advanced stages. The New York Times did a big thing on a polycule that live in a't know about throuple. No. Well, there's even more advanced stages. The New York Times did a big thing on a polycule that live in a warehouse together. Polycule? Does it have to be a warehouse?

It does have to be. Well, there's like 12 of them. What? Yeah, they're all in a kind of relationship that's also, I guess, a sort of gang. Oh, well, do you know what? I think I'd prefer the gang. Yeah, I think I would as well.

I feel a little less intense. And I think I would as well. I feel a little less intense. And I think I'd always find someone I quite liked for the afternoon. Well, exactly. They say that in communes, if a kid doesn't like its parents, he'll just choose some other adults to hang around with and learn from. And, yes. A 20-person polycule, I've heard. That sounds amazing.

Not even 12. Oh, that's quite a lot of hard work. That's also like cheating, but in a legitimate way. Well, I believe it's called non-ethical... Ethical. Oh, ethical, I'm sorry. What is it called? Ethical non-monogamy.

There you go, Frank. Yeah, but also, if you're burgled, you could beat the hell out of there's 20 people in that house you just burgled the wrong polycule mister yeah

imagine burgling a house with 20 people in it oh man I'm guessing 19 of them are men no I don't know

what is it how does it normally work the throttling what's the most common oh I think we know it's normally the man and then 19 women oh is it

no it's mainly the only one I've met was two I think it know. It's normally the man and then 19 women. Oh, is it? No, it's mainly. The only one I've met was two, I think it was two guys. Two men. Oh, yeah. Quite unusual, that one, Pierre, I think it is. I think. How does it work with the plus ones, though, at the function? Will you be bringing your partner?

Oh, yeah, you'd have to get two plus ones. Well, you'd have to get more than two. What about the polycules? Oh, no, but the polycule can look after themselves. I'm on about the... The polycule is an event. I don't know 20 people. A 20-people polycule is big enough

that you never really fully meet some of them. I don't think there's 20 people in my address book. So how am I going to find them? You'd be struggling with the throuple. Oh, the throuple. It sounds good, though. I'd be happy with the two men in the throuple. Morning, Kath. It'd be happy with the two men in the thrumple. Morning, Kath.

Be nice. Be nice to have someone to talk to. Anyway. No, I think it's... No, maybe think it's... Now I might be right. This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio.

We were in Nottingham last week, as I said, and we stayed at the Crowne Plaza. We did. And sometimes when you check into your room, you get a bit of a little treat on the desk, which is quite exciting. I've had a few lovely boxes of chocolates and stuff. On the desk or in the room?

On the desk in the room. Oh, yeah, yeah, I love that. Sometimes you get a glass and a little mini bottle of wine. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I've seen that. There was one the other week, no good to me, but it was a little bottle of gin and a little bottle of tonic and a glass next to it.

Oh, did you give that to Pierre? I gave it to Omar. And a bee's heart. He was glad. No, I ate that myself. Obviously. In the bath. But this time,

I'm going to put a picture of this up, actually. I've sent it to Jenny Foot for her to put up on her. There was a piece of slate with welcome written in chocolate and a strawberry. White or dark chocolate? Dark chocolate. Okay. One strawberry.

Okay. Broken Britain. Also, they'd done it at... This is Sunax Britain. They'd also crafted these things when you could check in from, so at 3pm. So by the time we got there at midnight, there was no question of being able to eat the chocolate unless you did a bit of chiselling.

Well, I'll put a picture of the strawberry. The strawberry had sort of, it had taken itself in an embrace with its own foliage. May I ask a question? Thank you, I will. Was the strawberry and the chocolate welcome script was that in lieu of a chocolate on the pillow there was no i i rarely get chocolate on the pillow anymore if you'll pardon that quote from my memoirs oh god Oh, God. But, no. Actually disgusting. You are sickening.

A woman once knocked on my hotel door. Oh, here we go. I had to let her out. No, and knocked on my door and said, do you want me to turn your top blanket back? Oh, my God. And I said, well, I've heard some. And then she just held out a piece of chocolate

and that used to be the thing, they would leave one on your pillow but if you were in, they would hand it to you. What do you think of a swan towel display? Well, Pierre got something very, very similar. Pierre, what did you get? Well, the full video is on my Instagram but I went in and there was a case of mistaken identity, I think. Probably.

I hope so. Because I had a piece of slate in front of the TV with two strawberries. Lovely. And written on it in rock hard chocolate on a piece of slate was happy anniversary. Oh, no. And I thought, right. And I turned around and I turned round and the bed had a big

towel sculpture of a heart covered in little paper hearts and two swan towels kissing with hearts on them yeah

not very pretty see I would have thought maybe it was Omar the tour manager and it was in honour of it might have been some anniversary of when you and Frank

started touring together or something the first time we gigged together. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. A bit strange. A bit strange, yeah.

It was quite, I did check all the corners behind the curtains. Did you call them and say, you've made a mistake, this is for someone else? I, uh,

I got a vibe that there would be a sort of, oh, okay. There wouldn't be a much done. Look, I love the, yeah,

but it can be an intolerant man to travel. What do you mean? We walked past this screen that had an advert playing on it, and there was a noise on the advert. It was in the car. Oh, was it in the car? Don't do the noise.

Okay, I won't do the noise. No, I need the noise. Incredibly wet slurping. Just a little bit, sort of... No, do not. And Pierre just got his phone out and I said, what are you doing? He said, I'm complaining about that now.

Just immediately. He's actually said to complain to me. Is there any way I could feel better about it? Absolutely disgusting. Oh, it's very tense out there. Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. Fantastic. fantastic

that's Dead Frights with Shot Girl Summer okay oh is that a pun on Hot Girl Summer yes love it Sarah's nodding

do you know what Hot Girl Summer is no okay I'll explain to you later we've been educating you a lot this morning what have you learnt Frank this morning

throuples yeah and the tongy kissing is still popular Maybe two later. We've been educating you a lot this morning. What have you learnt, Frank, this morning? Thropples. Yeah. And the tonguing kissing is still popular. We didn't volunteer that. That was something you asked. And you know Hot Girl Summer? I don't know what it is, but tell me after if it's...

Okay, it's like having a moment. It's like, you know... Menopause. No! No! Okay, does it sound. Menopause. No! No! Okay, just sound perimenopause? No! No, that's a kid I went to school with.

I think you'll find he used to play for Arsenal. Oh, yeah. Okay, so we've heard from the outside world, Frank. Yeah. We're juggling a few plates at the moment. Balls. Mix my metaphors there. Simon on the Black Isle.

The Black Isle? Yeah. What is that? We've heard from him before up in Scotland. I don't know. What I decided to do was just say it

in a very confident voice and I thought it would get through. The Black Isle. The island at night. Why are you sounding like a pirate? Yeah. I'll send an email in to Frank.

You've got something of the pirate in you. Do you think? We saw a pirate, didn't we? We were in Camden. What do you mean you saw a pirate? We saw a guy. We certainly saw a sort of admiral. Yeah.

Hang on, hang on. Talk me through the pirate. It was a guy. He had those big black boots with the big overturning leather things. Napoleon. Tight white trousers and a blue velvet long coat. Sort of coat.

Did you get a number for him? And a shirt with the long hanging cuffs and the frills on the chest. Yeah, it was funny, but he wasn't... Did he have like a tricolore hat? What was the hat? A tricorne?

He didn't have a hat. He didn't seem to have a hat. He was off duty. Yeah. Off duty? He wasn't, but he was.. He was off duty. Yeah. Off duty? He was on shore leave. He's a landlubber. No, but it was a fashion thing. He wasn't giving

away free parrots or anything. Well, you don't see that much. What's the pity? You don't see that much. Try one, get one free. My narrow shoulders. I'm afraid Pierre would have to take mine as well. And they live for 100 years.

They're the leather crown of the bird world. Would you be a throuple if you had two? Two parrots. Ja, this is me, Thrappler. We're in a... I can't get a word in, Edgway. We practice ethical non-monogamy. May I?

Wouldn't be polyandry. Pretty poly. Anyway, carry on, carry on. So, Simon Feegrade on the Black Isle has got in touch. Isn't honey

food bees make for themselves? You were talking earlier, Frank, you were talking about the sort of honeycomb display. There's a massive honeycomb at the Disney Hotel. It concerns you that you felt what you were essentially doing was brutalising their home. Eating your housing estate. And Simon from the Black Isle says...

Black Isle. Are you going to keep doing that every time I say it? So taking the honeycomb is actually more like taking the contents of their kitchen store cupboards. I see. Okay. Still feels quite bad. They do sort of live next to the store cupboards of honey, though.

It is in the hive, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. You're taking their kitchens. I'm eating the wax as well. You don't just eat, because I was getting bits of wax out of my teeth for about three hours afterwards.

That's when I needed someone who was doing tonguey kissing. You just get that bit of, go back one, back one, there. That's it. What you needed was,

what are they called, polycube? Polycules. Polycule. Polycules. You needed that, Frank, polycube. Polycules. Polycule. Polycules? You needed that, Frank, because there's 20 in that. Oh, I thought polycules was what parrots consisted of when broken down to their smallest combined.

Oh, my actual God. Oh, man, how many parrot jokes. Sorry. Frank, Susie, just FYI, says, Hello, Frank, so our beautiful boo gives blood at the pet blood bank. Because you were asking about this earlier. She is given constant doggo treats and gets to choose a toy after the procedure. Gosh.

So there is, in fact, a pet blood bank. I won't be taking Ray there. He's too slight. I might check that out. It's a noble thing to do. Mm. Okay. I think strays.

Strays would be all right, wouldn't you? What do you mean? You could blend them. God. Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio Absolute Radio

This week actually this week on Tuesday is the Aria Awards Yes for which we are nominated Are we? We're nominated for Best Comedy Show That's a bit embarrassing isn't it?

Well I me and Pierre will be in King's Lynn Yeah No because I wasn't invited To King's Lynn. No, because I wasn't invited. To King's Lynn? No, to the Arians. I think you can safely say if none of us have been invited, we haven't won. I think that's how it works.

Oh, yeah. So that's another thing gone. Anyway, what else? We've had some funny replies to the... We've put up the picture of the slate with drizzled chocolate and one strawberry on oh yeah and we've had a mixture of responses

that art guy says that's awesome whereas Neil Stanley replies do they want you there or not I like I also like Art and Hugh

who makes our wonderful designs we had them last week thank you Art and Hugh who's referred to it as a Spartan Valentine's Day. Yes, that's good. Let's have something of the Spartan culture about it. Welcome.

I imagine it's when you joined a medieval monastery. That would be in your cell. Are they? Do you know what it feels like? It feels like if I went on a date with Conan the Barbarian. That's just how he'd greet me. No, then it would be me, wouldn't it? Oh, would it?

I think it would. Who played Conan Barbarian? It was Arnie. It was Arnish, wasn't it? Oh, I thought it was Christopher Lambert. Was he another one? He was Highlander. Do you notice I called him Conan Barbarian?

Conan Barbarian. Mr. Barbarian. Did he ever marry a judge? Mr. Barbarian? Conan Barbarian. Mr. Barbarian. Did he ever marry his chat show? Mr. Barbarian was my father. Call me Conan. Did he ever chat show in America? Conan Barbarian. Please, Mr. Barbarian, I really must insist.

Please, can we ask you to leave? You're causing such a mess. Really? It would be welcome in dog's blood and there'd be a little bee heart on the slate if you were going out with Conan. Can I ask you a question about Conan the Barbarian, Frank? Sure.

I've got the book of the film. I have got the book of the film. He's getting a bit desperate with his boasting now. I had to have the talk with my son. He said, Dad, can I ask you a question about Conan the Barbarian? I knew this day would come. I'll get out my coffee table book of Conan the Barbarian.

If someone ever asks me what was the most tragic boast of Frank Sinner's, I will tell them I've got the book of the film of Conan the Barbarian. My question to you about Conan the Barbarian is, did he wear a sort of skirt short? Loincloth. Was it a loincloth? Think of him in fur. Really?

In pouts. Fur boots and a sort of tatty loincloth. Were there sort of braces? I'm just, what was the outfit? Oh, the red cross thing. That was, that was. That was Christmas, Conan. No, it was.

Did he do a Christmas outfit? The original James Bond. Oh, Sean Connery. That was a Sean Connery outfit where he had like a little red speedo on and two crossed red belts. Oh, that's what I'm thinking of, yeah. Some apocalypse movie.

Okay, okay. I just wanted to clear that up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you. Conan's a loincloth man. Yes, he is. All right. Yeah, very much.

Okay. Anyway. They should remake it with Rowan and Katie. Rowan and the Barbarian. I don't think that's going to happen. What else? We have heard from, is it 528? You used to be able to send luggage ahead in the days of British Railways.

Ina Sharples. Well, that'll come back now, won't it? Yeah. Ina Sharples, you remember her from Coronation Street? Ina Sharples, Frank, used to refer to people she thought posh as being very luggage in advance. That's great. That's good.

That's from Glenn and Milton Keynes. Coronation Street was amazing. There was one when she said I remember when my poor mother died she said she suddenly sat up straight in bed broke wind and then passed away

Oh that was working class drama. Oh the humanity Claire Sturgis is coming up next do listen to Claire and actually this is the last time I'll ever say this if the good Lord spares us and the creaks don't rise we'll be back again this time next week

now get out