The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner meets Christian O'Connell

Episode Date: August 11, 2010

A special midweek podcast as Frank meets Christian O'Connell and has a chat about life, love, radio and stand-up comedy

I've got about ten seconds to tell you how to get two-for-one tickets for top-drawer comedy nights near you, thanks to our friends at the TV channel Dave, at absoluteradio.co.uk. Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win prizes while you're there, too. I've run out of time, though. Absolute Radio's A-Team. Absolute Radio. So, I'm Frank Skinner, and I'm speaking to my fellow A-Team member, Christian O'Connell. Hi Frank, how are you?

I'm, oh don't start like that, what am I, a doctor? Yes, yeah. I want to get out test results at this point. Yeah, bend over. Yes, he's not coming. I tried to get him, he's filming. So, you are... Can I call you Mr Breakfast?

Well, I guess you can if you want to. I'm happy with Mr Breakfast. Yeah. It's better because I always refer to you as the OC when you're not here. But I find... If I say so, the OC... We shouldn't do this interview

by referring to him in the third person. No, it's not a good idea. And the V gets in the way. Yeah, no, let's drop that. It doesn't work as a form of a joke. So now, will you place the OC by now, come up with a new character called Mr. Breakfast? Mr. Breakfast, yeah. So, Mr. Breakfast, would you say there are certain golden rules to

being a breakfast DJ? I don't know if there are. I think they're the same. You know, you've been doing radio for 18 months. I think as you start to do it and you get in the rhythm of it and stuff like that you kind of work it out it's not difficult you're just talking but it always feels they talk about the breakfast show that they're every station like it's you know it's the breakfast show that's the big one isn't it well i mean i it's meant to be that there are more people listening in the morning because

obviously you're an important part of the day whoever you listen to whether it was me or evans or johnny vaughn or whatever it's a big part of their day, whoever you listen to, whether it was me or Evans or Johnny Vaughan or whatever. It's a big part of their day, and they want their friend, that ton of them, to cheer them up and let them know the world's okay. And, you know, that's where, ideally, you're meant to be able to get the, bring listeners in, and then hopefully they'll stick around the weekends to listen to people like you and Dave. Yeah. That's the theory.

Yeah. We don't quite get it right. You're being modest, but there's still the feeling that the breakfast... When you get to the Sony Awards and they say, now the award for the breakfast show, everybody comes back from the bar. This is the one that everybody cares about. No, it's not that. I don't think it is. I think it's the one that we went to.

It's all about the entertainment award at the Sonys. It's about that, because I think breakfast shows, they are kind of specialist shows, but they're not necessarily the best radio shows in the country. Jonathan Ross, in my mind, did the best radio show for the last five to eight years when he was on Radio 2, and he was better than any breakfast show he had in this country. And so I think the Entertainment Award,

that's where normally you get the true representation of the talent we have in this country, Frank. Well, a tin one, I think, Brekkie, if I can call you that. What's happening, Mr Breakfast? I've shortened it. I'm just Brecky by the end of it. I'll just be B, a syllable or a consonant. I think that when I got nominated this year for a Sony Award,

and I thought, it's not really fair that I'm up against the OC. Because the OC has to turn it on five days a week. For how many hours is it? Four hours a day? Four hours. That's 20 hours a week. I know. And I go on for two.

We should not be up against each other. Yeah, but you should. Because it's either entertaining or isn't. That doesn't matter. But it's like Ribena. I'm Ribena and you're Coca-Cola. No, because you need a lot more Ribena to cope with that much water, is what I'm saying.

I mean, most DJs, they have just one small amount of Ribena that would take a ten-minute radio show, and they do, you know, a week. But I think that award, that category we were on then, that should go to the best radio show. It should go to the longest radio show. Well, then I'm going to start doing an eight-hour one. I might win it. I think you should. So, I've read some of the things that you've done

over the years on the radio. Incredible things, like become a priest. Yeah, in the last radio station, I had a Spanish producer, and we were having a drink one afternoon, and he said that him and his wife, she'd just become pregnant, and we were sort of toasting that news and he said that him and his wife, she'd just become pregnant, and we were sort of toasting that news.

And then he said, the sad thing is we don't really have enough money to get married. And I said, that's really weird. I read this article about this guy who'd became ordained online in, like, Slough, and then went out with his best friend and that to Las Vegas. And you can become ordained online and and marry someone in in nevada state nevada la and it's legally binding in this country but it's one of those silly ideas you have to cut the beers and i said hey maybe we should do that but check with your missus i thought nothing of it the next morning he came in when i've spoken to her she's

up for it as long as it's legally binding and we're married and i went i feel really awkward about this now and i've got very strictly catholic irish grandparents i don't think they'd like me mucking around with priesthood and doing it online you've got the right surname i know reverend i think it was oh it's reverend because father o'connell i can imagine you shouting down jimmy cagney in an old black and white car so we i became ordained and we went out to LA and did the breakfast show there for three days and it was great fun. So are you still a priest? Yeah, yeah. I could, you know, if you want to get remarried again, Frank, I'm happy.

But we have to go to LA. It's only valid there. I think I can do divorces as well. I could do the full spectrum. Could you hear my confession? I can't hear confessions, though. Oh, you can't? No, I can't. Oh, well, that's bad news.

I was saving that for my interview. It's something I've noticed. There are patterns in everyone's career, I think you'll agree. Sure. Well, I read that you interviewed Steven Seagal. Yeah, I mean, what an actor, eh? You were a fan of his work. No. But you liked him,

didn't you? Yeah, I did. And I read you saying in an interview that that was the worst interview you ever did. Why? Well, I mean, I think there's nothing better. Because sometimes when you see a movie review and they go, it's okay, you can't be bothered. But when I... I can't help but be attracted by

if it's bad science fiction, or I know again, this movie is atrocious, and it normally stars Steven Seagal. And on something like Channel 5, you're never more like an hour away from one of his manky movies, Executive Decision. He's always the same character, an ex-CIA something or other

who comes back for one last mission. And he's like, he's living up in the hills now. Yeah, but we need you. Only you can track down these terrorists. It's always the same movie he'd make for 20, 30 years. And he pioneered that idea that you don't need plastic surgery. You can just pull your hair back really, 30 years. And he pioneered that idea that you don't need plastic surgery. You can just pull your hair back

really, really tight. And as he's got bigger now, have you seen recently, he's huge. He doesn't run after the baddies anymore. He just sort of waddles after them and shoots them. He doesn't do any...

Because he's an amazing martial artist. And that's why I first... Is he really? No, he's an amazing martial artist. He was one of the first white Westerners to open up a dojo. That's a martial arts gymnasium in Japan. It had never been done before.

This was during the early 80s. He's genuinely a very, very good Aikido practitioner. He's shot up in my estimation. So what was wrong with the interview then? Well, first of all, they said, look, you know, it's on the phone and it'll be in LA and you'll have to do it at like half five in the morning. So come in a bit earlier. And I was like, I don't mind doing that.

But when we went to do it, it was pretty clear that I don't think he'd been taking something, but let's just say he was very relaxed. He was also playing a guitar, but this was all like down a phone, so all I could hear is him sort of mumbling. He was playing a guitar right into it. Ding, ding.

And there were some friends there who was chatting too. You know when you're on the phone, you go to say, hey, Bob, can you pass me that here? And you haven't got their attention. You go, I'll call back at a better time. Yeah. And so I started to think, oh, this is going to be really hard work. And then the first question I'd lazily,

because I'd seen a lot of his movies, I hadn't done that much preparation. I thought, we'll just wing it. But I had the Wikipedia page up. But as you know, Wikipedia's made up of lies and BS. And the first one was that he had his own um aftershave called scent of action i thought that's quite funny i said hey that's funny about the aftershave he went i don't know what you're talking about then i went on uh

also on wikipedia so he's just reading it out i went oh what about this uh energy buy you've got called uh lightning bolt i don't know what you're talking about i said hey what do you think about things like jason bourne stuff like coming along in movies now? I thought we'd try and get it onto his acting, you know, the fact of his ego. He said, I don't watch movies. I don't even know who Jason Bourne is. I said, what about James Bond?

I've never seen any of those movies. So it became, it was getting worse. But the only thing that kept me going was, I think, this is brilliant. I've got the worst interview I've ever done with Steven Seagal. It's bad that I go on air going, I've just done the worst interview ever, rather than going, I've just seen Steven Seagal. It's better than I go on air going, I've just done the worst interview ever, rather than going, I've just seen Steven Seagal, it's okay.

Well, I'll tell you what I think. Now, I believe in certain cosmic coincidences. Yeah. And in my extensive research of your career... You're reading from Wikipedia right now, Frank. No, no. I've got an energy drink out called Lightning Bolt. I read the thing where you said you'd interviewed a woman

who'd been attacked by a seagull. Oh, yeah, that's right, yeah. And I couldn't quite understand why you said you played various sound effects of birds. This is another thing. Why are we going over the things that I... Why can't we talk about the amazing interviews I've done, Frank? You deliberately found out the worst radio I've done in 13 years. This is like a reverse This Is Your Life.

No, but it's a Derek Acora thing, because don't you see that there's a seagull theme in both of those interviews? Oh, I see where we're going now. The art of the interview is suddenly revealed. Well, did you see that coming? It's like James Lipton inside the DJ studio. Yes, oh, I love his Earl Grey. I see. Um, yeah, look,

it was a long time ago, Frank, and we did speak to... But there's a seagull theme in your work, and these things come in threes. So you're saying I need to watch out leaving here while my poop on me or do something like that? No, I'm saying don't interview anyone in any seagull or seagull-based anything. Avoid that in future.

I never thought of it like that, Frank. I'm going to write that down now. That doesn't surprise me that you haven't thought of that. Well, this is awkward now. Frank's told me off. So you've won lots of awards, Mr Breakfast. Oh, back to what happened to Brekkie? Why's he gone now?

I don't know. I feel I need to go formal. Now we've gone into the awards section. You've won lots of awards. And I presume you've been also nominated for awards. And you haven't then won them. Yeah, well, you'll bring us up because that happened a couple of months ago and i was sat next to you and we were in the same category and you

got on the grid and i didn't this is why you want to bring it up again yet more horrible incidents no i tell you why i want to bring it up because one thing i've realized one of the the pluses of doing radio is all the my acceptance speech i was able to steadily interweave into my next radio show, all the gags. Oh, did you? Now, I want to know if you've thought of that level of recycling. No. Well, this is what, you must have a load of acceptance speeches which were never used. Yeah, tons.

Tons to sat there, Frank. Oh, no, I never thought of that. Well, I mean, just get, I mean, I presume they're all on a massive file somewhere on your computer, acceptance speeches. I'm taking mildly offence at the phrase massive file, Frank. Well, because you've had so many nominations. This started off really well with you saying you've won loads of awards. Oh, this would be nice. It's the easy bit.

Then you've gone, what about the ones you didn't win? Well, because, you know, people don't want to hear about what you've won. Do you know what I've sadly done with them? And this is a true story. I always then, like the morning after the award thing, you didn't win the award. about what you've won? Do you know what I've sadly done with them? This is a true story. I always then, like the morning after the award thing, you didn't win the award. I think it's healthy just to move on, so I delete it.

Vicious, isn't it? You see... I think that's healthier. Otherwise, I just think you just need to move on, forget about it and carry on. You see, I'm like the Chinese chef. Even the feet. Absolute Radio's A-Team. Frank Skinner interviews Christian O'Connell.

Absolute Radio. One thing I didn't know is that you commentate on mixed martial arts. Yeah, this is true, yeah. Since I was a kid I got into martial arts. Do you do martial arts? Yeah. You sound like surprised. Aren't you sat in front

of someone and you get the aura that I could kill? Well... Not really, to be honest. No. I didn't get that. I mean, the interview's not going that well, but to physically kill? No. I always imagined the sort of people that do martial arts

are people with a longing to destroy. Well, see, that's where you're wrong about martial arts it's self-mastering control and because actually physical conflict as a kid frightened me i i wanted to do it in a weird kind of way i wanted to overcome a fear and so that's why i did it and it's something i've always sort of on and off over the years sort of done in the last couple years i got back into it and i really enjoy the weirdest thing is it's i find it oddly relaxing because i'm uh doing radio and sort of being having to talk for four hours every day you can't you constantly think about things and writing it down that's great fun uh but sometimes it's

hard to sort of zone out and just stop the noise and clutter oddly enough for the sort of hour and a half two hours i have my little lesson with the little instructor i don't think about anything else because i have to focus on that one thing. So, weirdly enough, I find it really relaxing. When I finish, I feel calm, if that makes any sense. So, for our listeners, if you're feeling tense at work, hit people. No, it's not about hitting people. You're upset on the violence.

It's about defending. It's about... Well, you must hit people if you do martial arts. No, because some of the stuff we do, if you need to get into it, is grappling and wrestling and stuff like that. It's Brazilian Jiu-jitsu as well as striking. I don't know what martial arts you do, then. Will I have heard of them? Because there's some of them.

There's the big ones. Yeah. And then there's things like Mahahihi, which no one has really ever heard of. No one's ever heard of that, Frank. And I get the feeling this is some sort of scam system you're setting up yourself, whatever Mahahihi is. Has it even been signed by Man City? So, come on. what do you do? Well, it's a mixture of martial arts,

so there's some striking. Fusion. Yes, there is. It's a blend. And so it's a mixture of styles. You get the striking that you know about, I guess, from seeing martial arts movies. No, but have they got names? Like, do you do kung fu? Yes. There's Wing Chun, which is a style of kung fu. Right. And then there's Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, which is ground fighting and grappling

and stuff like that. Brazilian Jiu-jitsu? Yeah. Isn't that the one that's dancing as well? No, that's the French one, capoeira. Oh, okay. Yeah. So, could you, could you kill a man? No, I don't want to, No, could you? Could you? If I, if I, if I,

If my life defended on it, and, and my family as well, I guess anything, but then you could kill someone. You can kill someone with a pillow. Anyone can kill someone. With a pillow? Yeah. Well, you smothered them, Frank. You must have seen...

Oh, I thought you meant in a pillow fight. I thought, what kind of martial arts techniques do you know? Maybe if they're allergic to feathers. Well, I'm interested by that, though, because I've always thought you to be genial in the extreme well i mean it's not like a big part of my life but i enjoy doing it and then bizarrely enough a couple of years ago um i uh was uh chatting to someone about it who was doing a tv show and he said do you fancy coming on doing some commentary i said i've never done commentary

that's really hard work and he said no you're naturally into it and you've been doing for a long time why didn't you give it a go so i gave it a go i found's really hard work. And he said, no, you're naturally into it, and you've been doing it for a long time, why didn't you give it a go? So I gave it a go, I found it really hard work, and a couple of times I just stopped talking because I was getting a bit bored. And I just wanted to watch it rather than watch and think about sort of commentating on it. Yeah, it's good fun. It's nice to sound a bit different.

I have fantasised about being able to destroy people with my bare hands. Yeah, but we all do. You know, someone will cut you up. No, but you don't need to. Of course I do. You could destroy people with my bare hands. Yeah, but we all do. You know, someone will cut you up. No, but you don't need to. Of course I do. Someone could... You could destroy me with your bare hands.

No, I couldn't. How could I do that? Well, say you... One morning you tuned in to your radio station because you say, I'm Mr Breakfast, you're Mr Weekends, you don't like what I'm doing. You get so angry,

you come down to the station, you go berserk and you kill me. I couldn't kill you, though. Yeah, but you could in theory. Because you're an expert in makawaki. Did you forget that? When have you fantasised about destroying people? Have you been...

We've all done that. You know, someone's been a bit off with you in a pub and afterwards you think, oh, I should have said something and I didn't. And then I imagine 17 different ways of beating them up. Yeah, we all do that. But you don't need to do that. Well, of course not. I wouldn't go and do that because that would be a horrible way

and that's a bad way to live in life. Do you ever worry that you could snack one day? No, because I'm not. You're making out like I'm Jason Bourne. I'm Mr. Breakfast. Let's not forget that. Yeah, but Mr. Breakfast can get overcooked sometimes. Eh? Do you think this is a good idea, right?

You've got TV contests. You could be a serial killer. Well, no. Mr. Breakfast! So, look, how do you feel about being... We are both members, apparently, of Absolute's A-Team. Don't you slightly... I feel slightly embarrassed about that. I feel uncomfortable. I can't face the people that aren't members of the A-Team.

That's the trouble. What about those DJs who aren't on the A-Team? Yeah, but do you know what? I think in radio, there are people that want to do the big shows and do the big shows, and I think there are other people who like working in radio and kind of, they understand the pecking order. You see, I think there are people who do the big shows

and then there are people who hate the people who do the big shows. Oh, yeah, listen, if you do the breakfast show, then people think people are interesting. What an idiot. Because I just think they expect you to be a fool and stuff like that. You know, it's okay when Frank Skinner or Dave Gorman usher through a lot of things. It's kind of something exclusive

and like, wow. But when you're the breakfast show and they see you every day and stuff like that, they get, you know, oh God, you can tell. I can see it in their eyes, Frank. We are the I-team anyway, apparently. I mean, it all depends what the I stands for, I'm guessing.

But I'm... It's an odd coincidence, because you had a sort of a... There's a Mr T theme in your life, isn't there? How? Well, didn't you used to do a sort of a dramatic thing when Mr T was a character? We did this very unfunny thing for... I said dramatic. That was a nice way of putting

it you said i'm just being honest called at home with mr t i don't know why we did it but we did do it and um uh when i first came here and um uh the boss it was the only time a boss has said you really can't do that anymore it wasn't about it being an offensive material would have had complaints he said it's just rubbish so I said great can we have you firing Mr T in the last ever episode at Home with Mr T and he went fine as long as this is the last ever one so we recorded him doing it in a

really awful way and then bizarrely David Tennant was in the next day so we said oh David could you be in the sketch of the last ever at Home with Mr T and politely he went yeah fine so the last ever episode had guest star David Tennant. I love that. It's interesting, you mention David Tennant,

because he's a big mate of yours. Well, obviously he's a big mate. You know what it's like, sometimes doing this job, you sometimes bizarrely start to actually find that, you know, someone's actually quite a nice guy when you're interviewing them and you sort of kind of get on. You and Dave. I never see them again, though, to be honest. I don't. I just don't. I've interviewed people and you sort of kind of get on. You and Dave. I never see them again though, to be honest.

I don't. I just don't. I've interviewed people and thought I really like this person. I've had guests on this, on the radio show I do on Saturdays. I've had guests and I thought I really like, warm to this person but I don't know that I'd ever want to see them again. Yeah, but I mean... But David Tennant, I'd be excited because he's

David Tennant. Yeah, and he came on a couple of times and we always got on really well, and so we did take it to the next level. But listen, there's something I need to know. Yeah? He once gave his bed. Yeah. No way was that his bed.

It was his bed. I saw it. I know. It was in the studios, yeah, and it was about four feet long. Yeah. He's massive, isn't he? Yeah, but he's Scottish, and I don't want to use stereotypes here. What, did they sleep in a coil

no I'm saying money did they coil up like an adder Doctor Who apparently doesn't pay very well and I thought when he said hey why don't we give my bed away

I thought this would be like a big bed he must have been through loads of starlets on and then that manky old sort of student sort of horrible killer's bed

turned up and even the person that won it they came and saw it and said no it's ok and left it well it was here for ages it's probably still here about five months no one, and even the person that won it, they came and saw it and said, no, it's okay, and left it. Well, it was here for ages. It's probably still here somewhere.

About five months. No one wanted it. Even the person that paid £5,000 for it went, don't worry about it. I bought it just to use his DNA. I'm doing some experimenting in my laboratory. One last question. Yeah. What's it like working for Chris Evans?

It was, i think the cliche is a roller coaster i mean you can imagine i was doing a it was my first year of ever doing a london breakfast show so it was about sort of eight years ago and suddenly this phone call comes my agent going uh chris evans wants to meet you about doing a tv show with him so i'd never done any tv in my life was this in the days of horrible chris horrible Chris Evans? I think to be honest he was in a very angry place, yeah. In interviews now he says I'm now a nice bloke, but I used to be a horrible bloke. So I went to meet

him at his flat and I'd obviously known Chris from watching him and hearing him and I used to do a terrible sales job with like the headset doing cold calling. I would iron my shirts in the morning, hating my job, but listen to this guy on the radio and think I'd love to do that. So then getting to meet him, but it was not chris who slimmed down looking good now he had a big ginger beard so i was kind of oh my god it's around his flat with a load of other sort

of people there as well and he was like how do you fancy doing this five night a week show on channel five and i was like right you know i've not done any tv he goes well we've just sort of fallen out with Chris Morse. Do you want to take over his show in a room above a pub in a red light area? And I was kind of like, well, yeah, I guess so, yeah, fine. So it was live in the evening for half an hour on Channel 5. But I was obviously doing the breakfast show, and it was exhausting. And then Chris was in a bad place,

and sometimes we'd turn up to meetings at Channel 5, and they'd go, where's Chris then? And they'd go, he's gone to play golf. We don't know when he's going to be back in a couple of weeks' time. But I enjoyed it. It was a great experience. And I got to get a big TV for the first time in my life off the back of doing it. I didn't realise how much money you get on TV.

I'd only ever done radio. Oh, they didn't give you a... It sounded like you got... That's what they paid me, a TV. You can do it for 12 weeks, five days a week, and we'll give you a new TV. That's not bad, is it? I'd settle for that now. At my stage, I could probably push

for a 3D. Is that why you're working here? It's just for the consumer goods? Yeah, exactly. I'm after a DAV. We'll see how it goes. Christian, I love you. Well, thank you very much from me Mr Breakfast to you Mr Weekend

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