The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner Not The Weekend Podcast: 23rd November 2011

Episode Date: November 23, 2011

Frank reveals some of his favourite double acts (Saint and Greavsie get a mention), Alun fears he is turning in to Frank and Emily reflects on the sad news that Poirot is no more

I've got about ten seconds to tell you about how you can get two-for-one tickets for top-drawer comedy nights near you thanks to our friends at the TV channel Dave at absoluteradio.co.uk. Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win a five-night trip to the New York Comedy Festival while you're there, too. But I've run out of time. Absolute Radio. Frank Skinner. And we're off. Hey, it's the Not The Weekend podcast. I'm Frank Skinner. I'm with

Alan Cochran. What's up? And Emily Dean. Ah, the A-team are back in residence. The A-team as well. Doesn't it feel lovely? It's like I've got me best bath crystals back. Oh. After a period on the road where you were just using, like... Using whatever they got in the hotel.

It's George Best crystals. That'd be worth seeing. So, yes, this is... Well, you know what it is if you've tuned in. You probably know what it is if you don't. Hey, stick around. Of course, they don't really tune into a podcast, do they? Don't they? What do they do?

They click, I suppose. Plug in. Or they might have just found it on somebody else's iPod. Plug in. That sounds a bit 80s-wide for sound. Don't talk about Cliff Richard. Not on Absolute Radio. No, don't do that. Are you suggesting that some sort of mogger might be listening to this,

having nicked someone else's iPod? Or the man who owns the motorhome company where I lost my iPod and then I didn't dare ask for it back because I'd had a heated conversation with him. Was it over money, Cockrell? No, it was over him. It was over him. I didn't like his way. No, no, OK.

Anyway. He didn't like his way, but he loves your iPod. Yeah, I was over him. It was over him. I didn't like his way. No, no, okay. Anyway. He didn't like his way, but he loves your iPod. Yeah. He's enjoying that. Yeah, I feel bad about Cliff. I don't know if you know about this, but Cliff's upset because absolute 60s. Yeah. The new...

Yeah. How low can they go? What, are they not? Do you think they'll go 50s? Will they try that? It's... Yeah, 50s is a musical era that people talk about. I'd say I'd love it.

If they start going 1910s and stuff like that, that would be so brilliant. Might have been starting to do Glimpse of Stocking and all sorts. Oh, man, the Rites of Spring. But anyway, Cliff, just as you bring it up, Cliff is upset that they're not going to play Cliff on Absolute 60th. Hasn't he had this happen to him before? He's always been dropped by radio stations.

Oh, poor Cliff. To be honest, it happens every time he releases any music. Poor put-upon Cliff. If he just, and I'm not saying for a second that he's been deceptive about his sexuality. I think he's been completely straightforward. Who knows what it is? It's OK, we can

edit. No, no, I don't know. I don't know about Cliff's sexuality. It's not my business. But if he did come out and say, look, I am a let's say he said I'm a roaring homosexual. A roaring? Roaring? Where's he? Brian Blessing? I think it would be more

difficult. Can we say Brian Blessing? We know nothing about his sexuality. No, but he's roaring. It would be more difficult to drop we say Brian Blessing? We know nothing about his sexuality. No, but he's roaring. It would be more difficult to drop him. The trouble is, he doesn't fall into any of the categories that can say, you know, you're picking on me. No. He's just, you know, successful and slim.

And I suppose he could say it was ageism. Yeah, he could. That's all he's got. And let's face it, on Absolute 60, there's going to be a few people playing that card from the artist. No, he's got an ailment, hasn't he? A bathroom-based ailment. I don't know if that's true, either.

Oh, isn't it? Is that a weak bladder or something? I don't know what... Well, we have to pick a very fine line. I don't think he has. I don't think he does carry extra luggage. I've been very close to him and he wears extremely

tight clothes. There's no room for any attachments. Well, he had leather, full-length leathers during Heathcliff. I heard, I bet no one muttered that at the time. But I like a lot

of Cliff's 60s music. He's great. I think they're missing out. I mean, it'd far be it for me to comment on company policy. But I'd be happy to hear a bit of Summer Holiday, The Young Ones. I stand behind any decision our MD makes. That's fair enough. But I'm standing with Cliff

I'd say that as well in so many ways I'm adhering to the no repeat guarantee yeah it's one thing to be not repeated to be not played anyway maybe they should just play them once and then say look we've got this guarantee thing

I was going to pick for Cliff Richard Trax on the show last week and just play them. I love your Willful Perversity. It's one of your finest qualities. Yeah, that was one of my best tracks ever. Willful Perversity. Yeah.

Now, Frank. Willful Perversity seems kind of good to me. I think it's a Berlusconi track, isn't it? It's actually about Frank Lloyd Wright. Frank, you've been doing a few interviews this week. Yes, I'm plugging. I'm on the plug this week. How's it going?

It's all right. I'm all right when I just do an interview. When you do an interview and you're just chatting about the project then because what happens is that Room 101 is coming back in January

with me hosting it right and so I'm doing interviews to plug that you know one has certain obligations and I don't mind just chatting about it

but sometimes you get the themed interview that needs a bit of prep and that's quite hard work like this week I had ten best double acts and you have to give that a bit of prep. And that's quite hard work. Like this week I had ten best double acts.

You have to give that a bit of thought, you know. Well that's twenty people you've got to think about. What did you plump for? Well I had nineteen people. I left out Ernie Wise. I think I might upset some Morecambe and Wise fans by suggesting that I think Eric Morecambe could have

operated on a have I got news for you policy of just having a different bucket every week. It wouldn't have been any less funny. Oh yeah, because the thing they always say is oh yeah, but he was very good, wise, don't they? That's the clever thing to say. He played a really important role, didn't he?

That's what they always say. Of course he wasn't. He was just fine. He just happened to be standing next to a brilliant comedian. He was a man. Yeah. But anyway, so we had that discussion. And I started off, you know, obviously you have like Peter Cook, Dudley Moore and Morecambe Wise. Two Ronnies.

Two Ronnies, of course. Laurel and Hardy, obviously, was the number one. By the end of it, Saint and Greavesy. I loved Saint and Greavesy. Saint and Greavesy are one of the great forgotten double acts of all time. I think they were great. Even I liked them. Brilliant. I'm so glad you put

Saint and Greavesy on there. Yeah, they represented a flux in sports journalism because a real changing point where Ian St John, he represented straight, you know, dull TV sports broadcasting, still carried on, you know, but then Greavesy was the guy who sort of, there wouldn't be a match of the day two,

there wouldn't have been a fantasy football without Greavesy. He was his opinionated mate, wasn't he? He was great. And Ian St John, not so much a straight man, as a member of the audience brought up on stage because he just laughed, is what he did. He laughed and went, oh, Greavesy!

In disbelief. Brilliant. That's like me on this show, except I say, Frank! That's a bit harsh. I put the crankies in there. Did you? Yeah, I put... Because I saw them recently. They absolutely... You know, they've gone sort of...

They've taken on a sort of Brechtian approach. No way. They have. Have they eradicated the fourth wall? They have. Theatre of alienation, they're big fans of. They've ripped down the fourth wall into a pile of rubble and then they've urinated on it.

That's what they've done to the fourth wall. At one point... Crankies have gone wrecked here, in fact. Honestly, at one point, wee Jimmy Cranky danced around the stage, holding up an old-age pensioner's bus pass singing Fandabadosi. It was a complete break.

Honestly, Ian at one point said, why weren't you in school this morning, Jimmy? And Jimmy says, well, for one thing, I'm a 61-year-old woman. Fantastic. I thought you were back on Sailing Greavesy there. Alienation techniques. Very knowing. Yeah, it was incredible, but brilliant.

So I loved that. And Richard and Judy, obviously, I had. Did you? Their skill, of course, was not knowing. Yeah. That was what was brilliant about them. I always firmly believed in they were serious journalists, even when they became a ridiculous Vaudeville double actor.

Yeah. That was great. Did Roger de Courcy and Nicky Bear not get a look in? No, I laid off the inanimate, generally speaking. I must do that as well. I always... No, not Bob off the inanimate, generally speaking. I must do that as well. I always... No, not barbiturates. Or I suppose that Roger de Courcy took bearbiturates. Oh, Frank!

I love an animal-slash-drug-based pun. We had Roger de Courcy on Fantasy Football once, and we said, do you still go to football matches, Roger? He said, I don't go any more. He said, I was at Wem. He said, I had to... I was at Wembley, he said, and I was involved in an incident in the Olympic Gallery. What, and we all?

We never found out. We never found out what that was. But I love the sinister element of it. Roger, of course, he was involved in an incident in the Olympic Gallery. What could that have been? Sounds like a great headline for a start.

Sounds like Game of Cluedo. Yeah. So anyway, I tried to think of some... John Lokes and Shep? No, I lay off the animal world as well. Really? Yeah, but I got me ten together. I had George Cole and Dennis Waterman from Minder.

They were a great comedy double act, I thought. Yeah. And it got me thinking about that. Double acts are not, you know, you get your standard double acts, but a lot of people operate as a double act in entertainment. I'm thinking particularly at the moment of Flavia and Russell Grant. Oh, yeah. Which is an interesting, profoundly symbolic thing.

It's kind of the way we all hate the beautiful and the talented, that we feel we need to tie them to some sort of fat blob as a punishment. A bit like Coleridge's Ancient Mariner with the albatross around his neck. I mean, OK, the dancers on Strictly are not going to be as good as the professionals, but Flavia, who is a tango champion... And they're quite exquisite. Yeah, and to have to dance with a man who's not even trying to dance anymore. He's just wearing garish clothes and being a bit camp on there.

Oh, well, it's worked in the past, that. Well, it has. He just wears satin shirts with a flared hem. Yeah, but I feel so sorry for Flav. And she's got that lovely smile with the dimples, trying to make the best of it, but you could tell she loads him. She's very good-natured, unlike Brendan. I find him less good-natured.

Oh, no, he's aggressive, isn't he, Brendan? Is he the one that bosses them around? I think she could crack, though, Flavia. I think I wouldn't be surprised if he... ..open, inverted commas, falls off a balcony, close, inverted commas. Oh, there'll be some collateral damage with that. I wouldn't want to be under it.

No, but he was a man... I don't think I'm bitter, but he was a man who told me that my career would only last seven years and that I'd never hold down a long-term relationship when he did my star chart. He didn't. He did, yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, he told me both of those things.

I didn't know you and Russell had a history. Oh, I've remembered, yeah. He's worked with them all, hasn't he? He's worked with them all. No mention on Strictly of the fact that he's an astrologer. I haven't heard that. Is he not one anymore? What does he call himself?

Is he an astronomer? No, he's not an astronomer. He's definitely not an astronomer. No, that's Patrick Moore and Heather Cooper. Oh, yeah. Yes. But no, he's an astrologer. So what is he being called?

He's the one who makes it up. They never talk about it on there at all. I suppose, to be fair, Bruce would rather not know. I think he would, you know. It'll be like Jesus will come like a thief in the night and he won't. It'll just, you know, who knows when the hour will come. I mean, can you imagine? I reckon that...

I can't remember if he's gone yet, Russell. But anyway... I thought you meant Bruce. Well, maybe when this goes out. The classic Russell ending, if it was to say, sorry, Russell, it's all over, you're going home, would be to him in a snarling, catish way

to name the day that Bruce has demised and then storm off. Imagine the cold atmosphere. If Russell gets the boot and he just goes, you've got till next Thursday, Bruce. That's why they don't have Bruce on the result show on Sunday because there's always a danger the guests will make

some terrible prediction and then storm off. And I mean, Russell, granted, it's an accident waiting to happen. Oh, dear. So, Alan... Yes? Is it true that you might be purchasing something that's quite dear to Frank's heart?

I had a rumour. I'll tell you... Oh, God, are you buying West from Miss Albion? No, but I am... I'm a bit concerned, Frank. I'm going to it out of you. No, but I am... I'm a bit concerned, Frank. I'm going to air this to you. Since I've been working with you, I've caught myself more and more

having Frank-style moments, as I would say. I keep getting lost, which is a very Frank Skinner trait. Is that new to you? It is new to me, yeah. That's weird. I never had a brilliant sense of direction, but I never really noticed the absence of one, and now I'm starting

to notice the absence of one. Have you been drinking out of my cup? Because there will be some poison traces. Some residual poison from the poison. Can you stop making oblique references to the fact that Sara is trying to poison you? I think it's good to up-front it

because it's going to take nerves of steel to continue this regime of steady poisoning, even though I'm making it very public. Yes, you baked cookies for us last week. How did they go down? Well, I've eaten one, actually, just before this show. And everything's gone orange. To be fair, it was a Jaffa cake. But I've caught myself appreciating trees more.

Really? You often say you love a tree. I've always liked a tree, but now I'm on the train so much because I come to London sometimes twice, three times a week, so the train goes past a lot of trees and I occasionally see a tree on its own in a field and think, that is a nice tree. And occasionally think Frank would like that.

And obviously, I do a lot of sound checks in my other job as a touring comedian. Ticket's still available. That's my Masai name. Alan Ticket's still available, Gagran. But I've sometimes caught myself performing a little poem or a soliloquy as part of the soundcheck, which is a definite Frank Skinner trait.

What do you opt for? Well, I occasionally go with a quote from Dejection and Ode. That's very Frank. A grief without a pang, void, dark and drear, a stifled, drowsy, unimpassioned grief. And sometimes I do the balcony speech from Romeo and Juliet. Right. But...

Frank is something of a... I'd describe you as a social architect, if you don't mind. A social architect? Oh, that's what there's no songs about. Well, I guess... I mean, I suppose if you hang around with someone, there's a mutual... I was going to put a ukulele on my Christmas list. Well, this is what I was referring to.

Can I say, I very much recommend that. Really? How much can you get one for, Frank? You can get a decent one for about 20 quid. Can you believe that? Oh. Really? And they're not rubbish, the 20 quid ones?

No, well, you've got to try them out, really, in the shop. But you can get 20 quid ones? You've got to try them out really in the shop but you can get 20 quid ones that are good. The thing to do is to try the machine heads and make sure that they tune the strings. So when you twist them, does the sound of that string change or is it just the same if it is, you need another one?

Or go to the shop at the George Formby convention. I say shop it's actually seven old men round a table. That's a bigger investment. I think we all, anyone you hang around with has a sort of influence. I mean, you've had quite a dietary influence. Have I? I did wonder if you were catching yourself savouring food.

No, no, not so much savouring food, but a little couple of maxims you've come out which have really stuck with me i was talking about having knots i said but i think they're quite they're quite fat and you said no that not so that the right kind of fat and that's really you've ever done an impression of me in my company before i said to my girlfriend apparently they're the right kind of fat you can eat those so now she has the odd enough that's why it's changed oh yeah good and the other one you said the other week is uh often when you think you're hungry you're often thirsty and that's also stuck in my mind that is not an alan cochran phrase that

was me quoting a friend of mine who had said that and i think he's right i mean quite often i i eat when i should probably have some water i think it sounds like the sort of thing that a troubled teenage girl might say now. So I think I should say that food is best. You need some food. Let's make that absolutely clear. And also, I suppose the ultimate influence you've had on me is airplane mode. Oh, yeah. Which I'd seen on my phone, but never touched before. Now, in the Venn diagram, that's where we cross over. We're all on... Airplane

mode, exactly the same frame. Airplane setting, I've never looked back. We should explain that we all put our phones on airplane mode so that we can't be contacted during the show. See, I used to just have it on silent occasionally. I'd read a text, you know, and we would just be at it. You've actually rendered me uncontactable.

Yeah. I pop my phone on airplane mode for um when i'm recording gigs because there's quite a good voice memo recorder on the phone that i have and if you put it on airplane modes then nobody's going to ring you while it's recording yeah i think image Imogen Thomas used that when she was recording gigs. Yeah. Oh, God. Very similar, very similar. Yeah. No, it's interesting. We were talking about Americanisms on the show on Saturday. And it only just struck me that, hearing us talk about this,

that it isn't aeroplane mode, is it? Oh, no. It's airplane. Oh, you're right. So is that what Americans say? Do they say airplane instead of aeroplane mode, is it? Oh, no. It's airplane. Oh, you're right. So is that what Americans said? Did they say airplane instead of aeroplane? They certainly did in the film titles. They did.

It's a good point. Well, I never really noticed that before. And I caught myself the other day thinking I might get some checked trousers. There was some checked trousers. Prime of your riches. Skinner stuff. I think this is a... I'm worried at the end of all this I might believe in a beneficent deity.

Where's it all at? I think I could also get I'm worried at the end of all this I might believe in a beneficent deity. Where's it all at? I think I could also get you done for identity theft. If this goes any further. A man who interviewed me this week, can you believe this? It's finally happened. He suggested I was a national treasure. Oh! And I rejected it out of hand.

Did you? I just think national treasures are such terrible people, generally speaking. Do I want to be in the same Venn diagram as Dame Betty Boothroyd? National treasure. I've seen her described as that. Whereas she

should have just been described as a fool. A fool. So anyway, here I sit on airplane mode, thanks to the cockerel. I am uncontactable. His role in my life is a bit like Annie Wilkes in Misery. He is randomly uncontactable. Frank, we've had an email in, which I'd like to share with you boys.

This is from Charlie Walker. He says, dear Frank, Emily and the cock crawl. It's quite a long email, actually, so settle down. Give yourself a belt on driver setting. Shall we sit cross-legged on the floor? Oh, I love the belt on driver setting. That's an influence that I would like you to have had. I haven't really done that yet.

Give it a try, honestly. It's very nice. It's really soothing charlie says um as i read that i started laughing in anticipation of your impression uh charlie says your podcast he's back reffing our work here, finally gave me a good reason to email you. Finally. In said podcast, the outlandishly named TJ Baptista Menendez... Oh, I remember him. One of our regulars, yeah.

..mentioned in his postscript that he'd listened to your podcast in 13 interestingly exotic countries. Frank said this made him proud and the cockerel guessed he was on the run. That's right. Sounds like the sort of thing we'd say. Over the last 16 months I've listened to your podcast in no less

than 30 countries. Goodness. Including the deserts of Iran, the mountainous wastelands of Tibet, the jungles of Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam, the islands of Indonesia. Hold on, are you about to say hit me with your rhythm stick? Although he doesn't time the countries on their own.

He gives us little geographical details. I would never say that to you, Frank. It's platonic on friendship. The impoverished villages of China. What about my gibbon stick? I don't know if you've seen that. The what countries? The impoverished villages of China.

They're doing quite well now, aren't they, China? Maybe he's been to the impoverished ones. I think there's still a little bit of imbalance there. Yeah, he's sought out the cheap accommodation areas of China. The Norwegian Arctic tundra. Wow. I myself have not been on the run

this is Charlie still speaking. Whatever. Accepting a short stint in Tibet which resulted in arrest, escape and subsequent arrest by the Chinese Public Security Bureau. They sound frightening. Don't they? But I'm travelling across Asia on a bicycle as part of a four-year expedition.

50,000 miles he's doing. He's travelling on a bicycle? Brilliant. His name's Charlie Walker. Brilliant. I take this opportunity to thank you heartily for providing me with countless laughs i can't read that as praise but um anyway that's from charlie excellent what a what a fabulous thing to do and what i like the sound

of it he didn't mention any charity so it could be one of the rare occasions of somebody doing something remarkable just because it's remarkable and not because they're trying to save the spectacle bear. Or he could be a people trafficker. We don't really know. Not what we think is a tandem. Yeah, one of those bikes that the goodies had. It's on a tandem looking for trouble.

Yeah, aren't you? That's brilliant. Yeah, I like the sound of him. Whereas I listened to a podcast the other day on my journey to Bradford in the car. You listened to one of our podcasts? No, I listened to a podcast. I had a really sweet moment. You know, as a touring comedian,

sometimes your timing just feels off, but I had a very sweet moment. I arrived in Bradford in the car park at the exact moment the podcast that I had been very sweet moment. I arrived in Bradford in the car park at the exact moment the podcast that I had been listening to finished. It was very, you know, it just felt like, oh, this is perfect timing and I'm in the timing business. It was good.

Good. I remember going to an away game. I think it might have been at Everton. And on the coach that we were going on, they put on The Eagle Has Landed. You familiar with that film? And we're just coming up to the denouement

at the end and we arrived they just switched it off. And that was it. And on the way back we watched part of another film. I think it was Return of a Man Called Horse. So we saw the greater part but not the ending of two excellent films. I like that you were on the coach.

Oh, yes. I didn't know you were playing that day. This was in my earlier days. So, Frank, stop all the clocks, because we have some very sad news. Oh, no. I'm afraid David Suchet, a.k.a. Hercule Poirot

this character will be no more as of this Christmas, the last episode sans Poirot sans Suchet that's how I ask for my coffee exactly he is it's the final episode

it's got a great title. It's called Curtain. Good. That's the last... Just Curtain. Yes, just Curtain. OK. Yeah.

Yeah, so I don't know what you guys think. I don't know if you're Poirot Souchet fans. Well, I'm looking forward to the penultimate episode, Pelmet. I'm a fan of the books I haven't seen many of the programmes Have you actually read the books? I've read some of the Poirot books I thought they were great, I thought they were excellent

and you know when people say that about him, of oh he is the only Poirot that looks and seems like the books Poirot he's great at it according to the books he's really good Oh's great at it, according to the books. He's really good. Oh, no, I'm used enough all the way.

I am. I'm afraid, yeah. Very much so. One and only Mr Peter Euston. He's always part of the Moffat show for me. And also, people always say he was a great raconteur. Peter Euston. Frank, where do you stand on Poirot?

Well, first of all, I read this story and I was stunned and shocked, partly because I thought it had ended years ago. Yeah. I had no idea he was still doing it. They're still knocking him out. And then I read a couple of quotes which I noted. They were the most actor-y things I've ever heard said in my life. These were his two things that he said about playing Poirot.

Sorry, I'm just settling down for the most actory things you've ever heard. He said he's of Poirot, the way they do. He's maddeningly frustrating to play as he's so vain and pedantic. What are you talking about? If you don't like it, don't make him vain and pedantic. Now, what are you talking about? If you don't like it, don't make him vain and pedantic. Then just cut, take the edge off it a bit.

I hate that. Oh, yeah, it's very difficult because it's, when you say he, you mean you. Yeah. Rubbish. And also, he said

he's one of the great, greatest listeners in literature, he said, of Poirot. Oh. I said, what's that mean? It means, that's a hint, I don't get as many lines as I should. But when I don't get lines, I make a big hoo-ha out of listening,

so they're still looking at me and not the person who's speaking. Oh, that's clever of him. Greatest listener in literature. What about that mouse that had an ear drafted onto its back? What a listener that was. Yeah. The cat couldn't get within 50 yards of it.

He's a bit of a method actor, though, isn't he? Yes, he speaks in a French accent when he's on set, and he doesn't, he gets into character as Poirot. Yeah, I've heard that, but I don't know how good his French is, because he doesn't actually speak in French, he just speaks in a kind of hoary-horn

voice. And Poirot's Belgian, isn't he? Well, that's true. They still speak French, though. Yeah. Alright. Yeah, come on. He's not speaking Flemish. A vain and pedantic character. Yeah, yeah. Give him a chance, Souchet. I suppose they had to call a halt

on it anyway, because it's nearly the end of Movember, isn't it? So they have to fill the hole before the end of the month. Well what's going to happen? Because I think I've mentioned before that I know the person who looks after his moustache on the programme. He gave her a big

cardboard version of it with a thank you on which she's still got in her car I think. And is he going to give away that actual... I mean, there must be a few of them, presumably. They're like Skippies. You know,

with Skippy, there was about six of them in knotted sacks in the back of a 4x4. Arrive at location, they say, which one is lowest on oxygen? We'd better use them in the next thing. It's like spinning plates. Yeah, there were several Skippies.

And also they used to have in the back two sticks with kangaroo paws nailed on the end so they could do any delicate work, any delicate hand close-ups for Skippy. Oh, nice. Like the ones when he was working out the combination of a large safe. Making phone calls. Exactly. That kind of thing.

Calculating. Skippy's worked out the square root of 364. Just hold on a minute. Skip's just working out whether he's going to make that canyon in a single bound. Do a bit of geometry. Yeah, so I was... i did think it had gone but uh are they gonna will there be like uh will he die at the end well it's called curtains so it's not looking good for him no that's what i want to spoil it though i mean Maybe he's just going to go for a big centre part That would be great

If he actually had a curtains hairstyle at the end It ends with him saying What do you think of this And when he pulls them two When he pulls the two down Then the moustache looks like a bow Holding them together Oh yeah

Oh that would be the best ending ever. Of course, it's a great tradition, is it, the last episode? Yes. Of something. Yeah. Like when, you know, Victor Meldrew and he... Oh, yeah. Victor Meldrew.

What happened at the end of that? I never watched that. How do we get rid of this much loved comedy sitcom character what about a hit and run is that what happened that's how they killed Victor Meldow a hit and run grim in the extreme

and the brilliant thing is he was a national treasure much loved and everyone was really emotional about the fact it was the last episode and uh it was the night that judith keppel won a million pounds on a millionaire on the other channel at the same time coincidentally yeah not murky at all no and uh not angela not angela murky and uh and yeah that was that.

So I'm looking forward to the last. I like the ending of Crossroads. They'd obviously just had enough and they couldn't be bothered anymore. So they just completely gave up and had Jane Asher. Suddenly they went all kind of weird and dream sequencing. She went, oh, I've just had a dream

that I owned a motel. That was actually how they ended. She should have said the whole thing was an ornate cake. Brilliant. I think they should have ended the Crossroads like a Who gig. They should have just torn the whole thing down. It used to wobble, didn't it, Crossroads? There's a lot of bad things said about Crossroads.

I used to love it. But I still think the ultimate description of Crossroads is that it was like pornography without the C. Absolute Radio. Frank Skinner.