The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner on Pick 'n' Mix

Episode Date: February 18, 2012

Frank is joined by Alun Cochrane and Emily Dean. This week the team discuss what those banana's in pix 'n' mix are made from, Frank's trip to Belfast and mythological legends.

I've got about ten seconds to tell you about how you can get two-for-one tickets for top-drawer comedy nights near you thanks to our friends at the TV channel Dave at absoluteradio.co.uk. Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win a five-night trip to the New York Comedy Festival while you're there, too. But, I've run out of time. Frank! Frank! Frank! Skimmer! Frank Skimmer! Absolute Radio. Diddle-dum-dum-dee-dum. Yes, this is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio.

Now, those prawns and bananas that you get in Pick and Mix, what is the technical name for the substance that they're actually made out of? That's what I'm thinking. Absolute Radio. Frank Skinner. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio and I'm in a small studio. I'm with Alan Cochran, also known as the Cockerel.

And guess what? She's back! I am. I've returned. Emily Dean has returned to the show at last. Oh, thank you, Frank. No, it's really lovely to be back, and it's lovely to see you boys. I've been off, as you know, and my family and I have had quite a difficult few months, but I've really missed the show, and I'm just so glad to be back.

And it's good to be back and it's good to be back in my chair well it's great to have you and does this mean you haven't been listening that's that's that's what i'm getting from this if i can help by recapping things that we've covered previously i i shall throw them in well good luck with that yeah various things we can start off with one of those those bananas you're get in pick and mix what is that stuff yes exactly you suggested marshmallow but no way no way is that marshmallow i just thought it might have a mallow in the ingredient in the word it's too sturdy i mean there's actually quite a firm ridge on those uh prawns yeah are we going to say 8 12 15 if you do know what they're called i reckon i could de-ice the windscreen of my car

with a prawn or banana from Pick and Mix. If you got five and sellotaped them to your fingers, it'd make quite a good claw. I feel you've gone way over the top with this one. For the de-icing. It's like a de-icing glove. I'm not sure about it. It's a bit Freddy Krueger-esque.

It is, yeah. The last thing you want in a snowy evening. Anyway, speaking of sweeties, which we were, I've got a mate that calls them sweeties all the time. Oh. He's Irish. I think it's an Irish thing. Because I once saw a Catholic priest talking about,

and people would come in from the country and Mammy would give them sweeties. I never really understood what was going on in all that, but anyway. So I was on an aeroplane last weekend. Oh, yeah. Oh, big wow. Yeah. And what I've started doing now, I've noticed, on aeroplanes is I go in the shop beforehand, as you always do at the airport, and I've started buying about four packets of sweets and just eating fyi most people

call it duty free not the shop does duty free still exist i haven't really worked that out i didn't i didn't have to show them my um ticket thing boarding pass i didn't have to show my celebrity oh that's it yeah my face is my fortune i can buy skittles without showing my boarding pass so that's it i've given away the game now if you're from Skittles without showing my boarding pass. So that's it, I've given away the game now. If you're from Skittles, don't send me any, I can afford them. That's good to know, isn't it? I was EDS. Frank Skinner can afford Skittles.

Oh, big man. So I was on the... and I ate them really quickly. I can get through a packet of Skittles in a minute. Like, handfuls? Are you doing handfuls at a time? Yeah, I do like Skittles in a minute. Like, handfuls? Are you doing handfuls at a time? Yeah, I do, like, four or five at a time. The new ones, they're supposed to have surprise centres, so the colour, you think green, this is going to be a bit limey.

Whoa! Blackcurrant! But I don't give them a chance. They're going in in multiples, you don't get that. So in the end, I think they align themselves to the outer casing, naturally, in the end that i think they align themselves to the outer casing naturally in the mouth anyway um so um i uh i did this thing which i've never done before you know when you get off a plane and you do that bit where you have to stand crook backed because the overhead lockers are oh i hate that yeah but and also you're trying to get out and there's people taking stuff out there and they're in the way i'll be in my height guys try being my height i might actually try being how tall are you about six three i'll try i'll try it i'll try it this week

i think i can get a couple of uh shoes on prescription it'll take me up there a couple of hardback books sellotapes to the shoes that i do. Oh, I'm trying. You're very keen on me sellotaping things to my extremities today. I've got a surplus of sellotapes. I thought you were moving towards the sales angle. But presumably... That's what's in that suitcase. Well, when Cockrell, though, Frank, what he must get a lot is. Would you mind getting that down for me, mate?

Oh, I do a lot of that, yeah. Just like being at my mum's. Oh, yeah, of course. I hadn't thought of that. Oh, yeah. Anyway, so I thought I'm going to be... Because occasionally you get these cool dudes and they can be all...

They just sit during all the kerfuffle. I'm just laughing at your idea of a cool dude. No, but they're not... The kind of plane that stays in a seat. Needn't be a guy. Needn't be a guy. Or a gal. Yeah.

And they just... Everyone all around them. If you can and they just everyone all around them when they if you can keep your head when all around are losing theirs and blaming it on you as roger kipling said they just sit and they think oh go on you idiots struggle to get your bags down and be crouched over and be trying to get in the queue oh i'll just get off when you've all got off and i've always admired those people but i've never had the nerve to stay on. I don't know why. I always think I might miss my stop.

As if planes, they just stop for like two, and then they're off again. This isn't the Belfast Africa run, is it? Oh, no. I've got stuff to do in Belfast. Oh, no. I've never done where Limpopo is. What would I need to wear?

Do they sell Skittles? And i did that i stayed on so i i stayed on the plane and i let everyone um get off and i started to get so anxious and i don't know what it was i just and i felt like the the crew were like come on what you're waiting for and i did think that thing that i was gonna get stuck on it or the cleaners were gonna come on, what are you waiting for? And I did think that thing that I was going to get stuck on it or the cleaners were going to come on, I wouldn't get past them because I can't speak Spanish or something like that. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again.

It's such a shame because I just thought I was being so sophisticated and I was proud of myself. And also I went to airplane mode on the phone, which of course... Yeah. And I've noticed with airplane mode, sometimes I haven't noticed, because we put it on before the show, I went to airplane mode on the phone, which of course I've noticed with airplane mode, something I haven't noticed, because we put it on before the show, we go to airplane mode. Have you noticed when you switch off airplane

mode, when you're on airplane mode, a little airplane comes on in the corner of the screen. When you switch it off, it doesn't just disappear, it sort of flies off. No. Oh, that's first class. Yeah? Well, I think it was actually economy.

I was only going to Belfast. I wasn't prepared to spend. Absolute Radio with Frank Skinner. So I was in Belfast. That was my point. That's why I was on an aeroplane. I went to see him. My mate was in Uncle Vanya. It's a play.

And he's also, this was exciting, he's also in Game of Thrones. You were in Game of Thrones. Oh, yes, yes. The big fantasy series. I'm aware of it, yes. Yes. I've seen it on the EPG. Is that what they call it?

The EPG, I don't know what that is. When you're scrolling through on your TV channel. The electronic programme guide. That's it, yeah. Oh, no, I don't know what that is when you're scrolling through on like your the electronic program guide that's it oh i don't know i didn't know what that was i thought it was a car in captain scarlet so anyway by the way um zora suleiman yes our uh our newsreader today has just nipped in to say that um that prawns and bananas in pick and mix are made from a thing called foam candy i did say candy downstairs, didn't I? You did. I like this. Foam candy. You know when you get arm candy, which is like a sort of young woman...

I've written foam candy is in Ibiza. I don't think I've heard of arm candy. I'm delighted to hear that. Oh, have you? Yeah, when they say, you know, what do they talk about? She's just arm candy, that girl. Something I've always aspired to be. Yeah, well, foam candies, if you're in Ibiza at one of those clubs.

He went home with a bit of foam candy. Made from beaten egg whites. I'm told. Sounds quite healthy, doesn't it? Yeah. Protein in it. I wonder what they do with the yolks that don't make it into pick and mix bananas. The world's strongest man could have

those. They would have the whites, wouldn't they? Oh, yeah, they would. It's the yolks they're funny about. Is it? It's funny because the bananas look like they've had a bit of yolkage for colouring. Anyway, that's that sorted. Meanwhile, back in Belfast...

Yeah, so, because he's in this big fantasy series thing, he has to sign collector cards. You know, he's to sign collector cards. You know, he's on cards. He's called Conleth Hill, my mate. And he plays the head eunuch. No, he doesn't. He plays the head eunuch. Okay.

And, yeah, he didn't. It's all mimed. The removal. I've never met one of them. No? Have you met any minor eunuchs? So, anyway, he had to sign 1,000 collector cards and I had to witness his signing. You didn't have to, surely, but you did do it.

I did because there's nothing worse than an unauthentic autograph. Right. Don't you think? Oh, you were like the independent adjudicator. I was wondering what you looked like. You were in the corner, witnessed by... I was once with a famous cricketer, and as we were going into the dressing room,

this kid said, oh, will you get me blah blah's autograph? It was another famous cricketer. And he said, yeah, yeah, I'll get it. And he went in the door, and he just signed it on a bit of paper, his name, and then he went back out. And I was really upset by it.

I thought it was just wrong. Anyway, so that was, it was just wrong anyway so that was it was very exciting watching all these wouldn't you love to be in one of those I would kill, I think I would actually kill to be in Doctor Who even in a small walk-on not a human being, maybe

an animal quite a major animal, I'd kill a lion I'd kill a lion to be on Doctor Who. With what method? Have you thought this through? I was thinking lethal injection. People are eating their breakfast.

You don't want it to be too grueling. I would like a figurine fashioned in my likeness. I won't lie. That would be good. To be an action figure. To be an action figure. To be an action figure. One of my favourite hymns. That was Farmer's Boy, wasn't it?

643 has texted in saying, Wilco Johnson of Dr. Feelgood is also in Game of Thrones. Wilco Johnson is? Apparently so, according to 643. What, the rubberneck lead guitarist from Dr. Feelgood is in Game of Thrones? According to 643, Wilco Johnson of Dr... I've not given you any extra information there, I'm just telling you what he's put. That's astonishing.

Yeah, if you'd known that, you could have asked your mate, is this true? You could knock me down with... Anne Diamond. Someone's texted, Frank, is your mate the one from Blue Heaven? He is, yes. Yes. Oh, God from blue heaven he is yes yes oh god jesse is absolute radio with frank skinner and then i went to bally castle oh out on the coast and um i think what's great about ireland is that they love a legend about Ireland is they love a legend. Oh, they do. Oh, they love a legend. We stood looking at the sea, me and my mate,

and within 500 yards of us there was the grey man legend, who's a giant who appears in the mist of the sea now and again, and the black nun. They've usually got a collar. The legends. Yeah, have you noticed that, the local legends? White's very popular. White lady.

Oh, yeah. In the grey. Oh, right, yeah. I mean, they're on invent. I'd like to have, like, the ochre adolescent. Just a vague orangey. Sort of burnt orange look to it. The rainbow visitor also.

Oh, that'd be great, yeah. I've had a few rainbow visitors in my time. Yeah. That was back in the 80s. But I do, yeah, but I do,

I love, I love a local legend. Oh, I do. Oh, God. I like, I'm,

well, you say local, I'm actually a big fan of the Greeks. Huh? Well, they've got a, they've got a hat full.

They've got too many legends. Too many, you think? They now can't afford their legends. You think they've over-legended the pudding? Yeah. They're expensive to maintain, the legends. I bet they are, yeah.

They don't feed themselves. I love Medusa. The snake head. Oh, yeah. Yes. Silence you with her stare. That is what I do after all, Frank. True.

Now, can I ask you this? Medusa. Flash Gordon. Yes, that's what I was going to... Flash Gordon? I don't think Flash Gordon's Greek is as legendary as he may be. He is a legend. Yeah, she is, because they used to call her the Gorgon in horror films,

but I think she is a Gorgon, isn't she? Yes, exactly. She's one of the Gorgon species. Very good work, Skinner. But she's the best known. She is. I mean, she is to the Gorgons what Diana Ross was to the Supremes. Right.

I think you'll agree. Yes. It's an analogy that's often drawn, isn't it? She's a little over-commercial for my liking, though. So I... You like her early stuff. Yes. Everyone got into her I actually I'm a big fan of the center the same tourist across man half horse can I tell you for why Frank now you and I you may

be aware of this Alan but you know Frank and I we're pretty much loath horses yeah thank you the listeners don't like our anti-horse material i've said lay off the anti-horse material but no she won't let it go no frank we have to be we don't we just don't we just don't get along with them i'm not saying we loathe them that we just don't get along with them that's's fair to say, Frank. No, you're not mad. We do love them. I just don't want you to say that. We find horse riding challenging. Now, Frank, imagine... You know that thing in Jaws where they kill the shark

and everyone in the cinema applauded? I don't know if you saw it in its original form. I did that in The Godfather when they found the horse's head in the bed. Just me. I stood as well. Stood. Person behind me was going,

sit down! Frank and I hated that they said, oh, you just have to wait for them. They have to learn to respect you. Why should we wait around? If you learn to respect me, I've been in this business 25 years. What do they want?

No, but Frank, hence the joy of the centaur, we can sit on that and then you can stop. They don't flare their nostrils. There's no nice man. You can talk to him and say, oh, did you see the David Hockney exhibition last week?

Yeah, I believe sit on that is the catchphrase of the centaur. Yeah. It's like the best bits of a horse and the best bits of a person. Of a man. You get the companionship. I would love riding. If I could go on a centaur, I'd be riding day and night. It's so true, though.

And how handy to be able to just hook on a saddlebag because you can get a lot more in that than the average half a sack. Do you think dad Centaurs are double grumpy and double moany because they're going, oh, the price of kids' shoes. Of course, yeah. Buying four at a time in Clarks here. Yeah, but they do come with a certain amount of good fortune.

Let's not deny that. I've always been a big fan of Spring-Heeled Jack. Spring-Heeled Jack? Spring-Heeled Jack is a London legend, and he used to basically jump quite a lot. Right. I mean, people don't know whether he was true or not. He was cited a lot in the 19th century.

And he used to be a horse going down the road, pulling a carriage. And suddenly Springfield Jack would jump, just land in front of it. And obviously they'd have to pull up sharp. The horses would all go crazy. And then he'd jump over a wall and get away. He sounds like a bird, yeah. But he was an incredible jumper, apparently, and I've always been slightly fascinated by jumping as an art form.

Have you not? Well, I remember Bruce Grobbelaar's Leap, but other than that... Bruce Grobbelaar's Leap, what a band that was. I like their early stuff. No, I was so obsessed with jumping as a child that i did this thing where i jumped off the bottom step of the stairs and then the next day i jumped off the second oh yeah and i thought by you know give me three weeks i've had to jump from the top of the stairs you get to about stair nine, and you get shooting pains going up your legs as you land.

So I was on nine for a month, and eventually I gave up. Looking back, it's one of those things you gave up as a child, like piano lessons, and thinking, if I'd stopped with that, I wouldn't have to leave here by elevator. I could just jump straight into Golden Square. And there was one of them, I'll tell you about Joe Darby after, he was probably the greatest jumper of them all.

Frank! Frank! Frank! Skinner! Frank Skinner! Absolute Radio! So, Joe Darby, when I was a kid growing up in West Midlands, was a bit of a local legend. I mean, he wasn't around anymore, but people always told tales of Joe Darby, when I was a kid growing up in West Midlands, was a bit of a local legend. I mean, he wasn't around anymore,

but people always told tales of Joe Darby. And he was an exhibition jumper. I don't mean that in a knitted garment, clearly. But he used to do these tricks. He could jump a snooker table, lengthwise, from a standing jump. No way. Yeah. He used to have little weights in his arms and he used to swing his arms with the weights and then

jump. He used to jump onto a basket of eggs and off again without breaking any eggs. And one of his party pieces was to jump off a table onto his child's face and then off again. He would have walked Britain's Got Talent

when he would have jumped it, obviously. That sounds amazing. Yeah, truly amazing. And he used to jump at the canal, putting one foot down as he went across, and then they used to check and the foot was wet where he'd actually trodden on the water. What about that?

So he'd sort of slapped the water with his foot? I think it's all to do with momentum, because you get the weight swinging and then... So he basically skimmed himself across there like a stone. Oh, yeah, I think he... It doesn't sound remotely dangerous to me. No, I'm not... If you're at home, don't jump onto your child's face

to see if this can be done. God, it's health and safety gone mad in here, isn't it? I know. Duncan McKenzie, though, used to play for Leeds. He could jump over a minicar from a standing. What about Evel Knievel? Yeah, but I think he was motorised. Oh, OK.

If I remember rightly. 822 said Michael was a fine jumper. Oh, excellent. Oh, 70s fabric knit-based joke there. No, there isn't enough of that. Acrylic or non-acrylic? Yeah. I once spent ages looking for Evel Knievel

in a haystack. So... Oh, Frank, I'd like to talk to you about these boxes. What are we going to do with them, eh? We should just say Frank is wearing trousers. I'm just doing the show in boxes today. And I should have gone for a bottom fly and not just a gapage. Oh, Frank!

What a welcome that was. Exactly. No, well, they're getting a bit knocked anyway. We're talking about our own local boy, Derek Chisora. Derek Chisora, I know. My face fell as you said that when I hoped you were going to finish Derek with Okora. Yeah, of course. He was so close to Derek Okora.

I mean, not friendship-wise. He may be. He might be after tonight. And he's fighting this chap. Derek Okora might be the only person who can communicate with him. Is it Vitaly Klitschko? Yeah, he's one of the Klitschko brothers. Do you know what?

I thought he might be rather nice for me. He's got a PhD. Has he? Yes, that's why they call him Dr. Ironfist. I don't know if that's why they call him Dr. Ironfist. Dr. Ironfist. Yeah. I think he used to work in a club I used to go to. Dr. Ironfist. A club called

Fire. Do you know no okay um but anyway he yes he's he's very naughty well he's got into he's got into trouble because well first of all he's been he's been slapping him about he's like he shouldn't you're not supposed to slap them at the wayans they've got rules about that he's supposed to be staring yeah that's what it's all about not not staring at another man in Yeah. That's what it's all about. Staring at another man in your pants is effectively what it is, isn't it? Yeah, but it's very eye-to-eye. But he'd already got Dr Iron Fist aerated... Yes.

...due to his choice of entrance music, shall we call it. Oh. Because normally they have things like Chris Eubank had Simply the Best, didn't he? He certainly did. And you say that slightly scathingly. No, I was always a big fan of Chris Eubank had Simply the Best, didn't he? He certainly did. And you say that slightly scathingly. No, I was always a big fan of Chris Eubank as a boxer, but it was coming into Simply the Best. I mean, they're not known for their modesty, are they, boxers?

No, no. In fact, it's almost a backward step to be modest as a boxer, isn't it? But I think you should... I mean, I'm with Derek on this. You should be able to choose your own walking music. Although Derek has chosen Only Fools and Horses. Yeah. Now, has he chosen, God, I'm going in my pocket. Has he chosen, is there only one Fools and Horses theme?

Yeah, I think so, yeah. So, is it not different at the end? Is it not one of those with a second theme tune at the end? What, no income tax, that bit I assume is what he wants. Okay. Yeah. If we sing it, do we have to pay? Not us personally. Didn't Abu Hamza used to enter the ring with, uh,

to Hockey Street? Oh, right! No, I think he's chosen a sing-along British classic. He actually said next to the National Anthem, it's the most recognisable theme tune in the world. It's a big claim, Derek.

Yeah. That suggests to me that Derek is a parochial character. I like the idea of the National Anthem being a theme tune as well. England, Britain's theme tune. Also, it's not very rousing, Frank. It just reminds me of smoky living rooms in the 80s. Only bulls and horses. I almost thought you meant the National Anthem.

Oh, that too? True. I remember when TV used to end with the National Anthem at night. Oh, yeah. About 11 o'clock when TV ended. And they used to play the National Anthem. And people stood. Not in our house.

Not the Catholic households. And people stood. Not in our house. Not the Catholic households. We hissed. Yet, my, we did live next door to the Gorgons. They were a rough family. Who were sisters, apparently. Yes, that's right. That's according to 643. Thank you for that.

643, I never question his knowledge of Greek mythology. No. Or hers. Yeah. Oh, that sorted that out. I was a bit worried about uh how the gorgons and medusa got together didn't somebody um once ask um the cause that in an interview how did you get it was donna air how did you mean was it donna air yeah was it classical i don't

know what music i would have as if i was a boxer to go on with. Sometimes, as a comic, you're asked, what walk-on music do you want? And it's quite hard to choose, because you kind of want to give the audience a clue that you're really hip and cool, but at the same time, it's just music to walk on to. I did Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow in the past. Is that a new one?

Yes. Comedy Roadshow in the past. Is it like, you have to wear a Victorian costume? It's only on Dave Jarvu. Oh, lovely. The home of witty banter. The home of witty banter. Actually, Dave Jarvu's probably got a different...

The home of retrospective witty banter. Slightly sentimental. But I picked Eels' That's Not Really Funny because I just thought that's quite cute and it to go on to a song called That's Not Really Funny, because I just thought that's quite cute, isn't it, to go on to a song called That's Not Really Funny? Very brave. Well, you know, nobody knows. It just sounds like music, doesn't it?

Yeah. I chose Kim Jong-il's It's Not Really Funny. Did you know he covered it? No. Oh, God. It's a bit military, but I like it. Absolute Radio, Frank Skinner. By the way, if you want to text us about anything,

we're just talking about theme tunes. Yes. You can text us at 81215. My theme tune, of course, used to be a song called Fun Time Frankie. Oh, yes, I remember. Which I used to come on. Do you remember that? Was that composed especially for you? It was composed by me.

Was it? But, yes. But, you know, yes, I couldn't come on to it. Now, a man of my years coming on to Fond Time Frankie just seems wrong. It's like I'm falling into the same trap as Baby Spice. I mean, how much longer is she going to be able to keep? She's not still calling herself Baby Spice. Yeah, people still call her Baby Spice, don't they? Oh, right, yeah, but she's not in charge of that longer is she going to be able to keep she's not still calling herself baby spice yeah people still call her baby spice

don't they she's not in charge of that you don't want to be baby spice what is she now mid 40s I bet she wished she'd gone for Baldy I'd quite like to reclaim the Coronation Street theme tune

hear me out because actually I think that sort of brassy trumpet and there's quite a sort of louche double bass as well. Oh, it's louche. I don't think anyone would argue with that. Well, no, I think it's quite gin-soaked femme fatale. I'd quite like, that was my theme tune.

Whenever I do that theme tune, I always find myself you know people go, da, da, na, na, na, I always do like the trompy. So whenever I sing Coronation I go blah blah blah blah blah blah I do that a lot with theme tunes.

On the bosses. You sing Boston You sing Boston Pocket when you go to the cash point. I do do that. That's a fair point. Frank, somebody texted me recently saying that they were watching Cora and I assumed that they meant Coronation Street

but had just rejected the standard abbreviation to Corrie and gone Cora. But in a way it makes sense, doesn't it? It does, it's better. They're trying but it's not quite working. I like it. I like it. Unless it was a also correct or something. Yeah, unless it was a...

So they were watching Derek O'Connor. And that had accidentally cut it. Frank, we've had a text in 135 from Ian in Glasgow. Of course, the centaur was half bull, he says. No, that's incorrect. That's the minotaur. See, I pronounce that minotaur. I don't say it very often. How often do you say it, would you say, in a year?

I'd say about once every ten years. Well, anyway, it's... I'm going to keep a check now, how often I say it. It's an interesting diary entry. I'll just write M in the corner of the page. You might do it when you were starting out as a young comic. A Minotaur. I know. All right,

all right. Puns are back. Little pun. No, so, I'm sorry, who was it who sent that in? Ian Glasgow. Of course, the centaur was hot. Well, Ian, you said it in a reprimand in Correcting Town, and I'm afraid you've rather fallen flat. Yeah, yeah. And just for that, Ian, I'm going to say Glasgow, because i know how much you like that in fact i think you're talking uh minotaur excrement and uh some five four five four has texted in uh saying i remember duncan mckenzie also once threw a golf ball from one goal mouth terrace to the other without it bouncing on the pitch this sounds like an irate neighbor and did she then say, and if it comes over here again, I'll put a knife through it?

No, he did. That was another one of his specialities, long-distance golf ball throwing. Wow. Didn't Slim Jim Baxter once do keep-ups all up and down the touchline for a whole half time? Yeah, but keep-ups. It's easy. There used to be a player at West

Bromwich Albion called David Burnside who was doing that in the 50s. He said, oh, come to me with your Slim Jim Baxter. That's but keepy-ups. It's easy. There used to be a player at West Bromwich Albion called David Burnside who was doing that in the 50s. He said, oh, come to me with your slim gym bag. That's what I'm talking about. He was a Jimmy. Johnny, come lately. Jimmy, come lately. Yeah, but they're football-based skills. How do you know you can jump a mini without a...

The only way you'd ever know that is if you're drunk and you're on the way back from the pub with your mates. Yeah. And you're walking along, talking to one of them, like, turn backwards. You turn around, you're confronted. There's a mini straight in front of you. You go, whoop, and jump straight over it.

And they all, you know, applaud spontaneously. And the next morning, you lie in bed and think, did I jump? I jumped a mini last night. And then you know you can do it, and you do it regularly. It's a party piece. That's how that works with the mini jumping thing in my experience absolute radio with frank skinner no light you know likey florence and the machine i met the guy that came up with that as a phrase did you yeah yeah really yeah and apparently they'd been staring going you know if you if you don't like her, you don't... You know, if your light doesn't go up, whatever.

They'd been workshopping for a phrase. And he came up with no lighty, no likey. Well, so didn't Paddy come up with it? You tread on my dreams. Dreams tread softly. Oh, sorry. It's show business. I think it's perfectly all right to get a man who comes in with those catchphrases, isn't it? There's catchphrase specialists. I don't know if he's a catchphrase. I think he's perfectly all right to get a man who comes in with those catchphrases, isn't it?

There's catchphrase specialists. I don't know if he's a catchphrase. I think he's a comedy writer. I think he also wrote sit on that for the centaurs. For the centaurs. Frank, 631, who I think might be one of my regulars, but I'm not sure, says Dave Chaveau, the home of Staircase Witt? What does that... I don't get it.

There's a joke in there somewhere. Dave Chaveau, the home of Staircase Witt. Do you think it's because it's an hour behind? It's like... it's back. Yes. Come on, I I'm with you I'm going with you but where are you taking me it's a step backwards isn't it

staircase do you think he means the home of Whitty Bannister something like that didn't he run the first four minute mile with Whitty Bannister that's what they called him at public school I don't get I like to think I get most jokes,

but I don't get the home of staircase bounty. It needs a little bit of work. No, it might be brilliant. We've just got to grasp it. Can you send in the next part? This is nice, isn't it? We've now gone to an audio cryptic crosswords. Not so much a radio entertainment show anymore. But it's good this.

I was listening to The Golden Hour on Chris Moyles yesterday. I was in a car and people were texting in to say what year the records were from and I thought, this doesn't count anymore does it? Because people just Google it. There was a time when there was

a thrill and excitement to that. But any kind of competition now, really, is futile. That's why we don't do them. No. Well, it's also because we don't have the administration or backup to run them. And we keep the prizes, don't we? We just pretend we're going to run them. And also, we just forget.

But at Warehouse, you can Google the Home of witty staircase banter and good luck absolute radio with frank skimmer you know what's really annoying you've got banana in your mouth yeah real banana mine not foam candy that's what you're thinking. Oh, Frank, we've correctly identified... Hold on, I have to do my bit at the top of the hour. This is Frank... I have to do this, this is professional. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio and I'm with Alan Cochran and Emily Dean. You see, high energy for The Breakfast Show,

that's what I adopt. Someone with a mouth full of banana, it's ironic. I have to do this, this is professional. I've with a mouth full of banana. It's ironic. I have to do this. This is professional. I've got a mouth full of banana. No, but professionalism in this show, I like to think, it shines through like the way sunshine shines through a tree. There's quite a lot of darkness. Occasionally a beam comes through.

Just a glimpse, yeah. Frank, 198 has enlightened us. Do you remember we were talking about déjà vu? Déjà vu. Déjà vu, I'm sorry. The home of staircase wit was the joke, yeah. 198 says, a staircase remark is the witty retort that you only think of when it is too late. Oh, is he?

Yes. There's a French word for it. Is that like esprit d'escalier, you call it? Yeah, yeah, it's the thought on the stairs. Staircase wit, yes. I didn't know. I love that. See, the reason I don't know that is that's never happened to me.

I always think of it instantly. What a life. Yeah. But, no, that's actually a very clever joke, and I've learnt a new phrase and some French, all in one marvellous explosion of knowledge. Frank, I don't wish to alarm you, but is the security guard doing some hoovering downstairs?

I've never heard noise like it. I'm hoping that the listeners can't hear that. I feel like... If you can imagine we was doing the show on a hovercraft. Have you ever been on a hovercraft. Have you ever been on a hovercraft? Yes, I have. I'd say it's the loudest form of transport, of all the transports.

I remember getting on it and saying, oh, it's lovely, it's like being on a boat. And they said, OK. And they talk about like a flight. And we're now preparing to embark on it. Oh, this is lovely, isn't it? And it was like that for the whole... Oh, no, I've not been on a hovercraft. Oh, air balloons. That's noisy there. you lied about the hovercraft

Sir Christopher Cockrell will be rolling in his grave I don't think I really thought Sir Christopher Cockrell of course you should know about the hovercraft if anyone did that's who invented it Sir Christopher Cockrell is it really what have you been on which you thought was on a hovercraft

I don't know I think I just answered yes without really thinking about it I just went yes good job sort of an affirmative way. Good job this isn't in some sort of police interview. Well, it is, isn't it? I don't think police interviews have got a bloke hoovering next door or whatever that noise was. I bet they have. I bet all of them have. You know the old good cop, bad cop, hoovering cop theme.

That'd be great if the good cop was just doing a little bit of housework. Yeah. I think it would have been a more interesting way if the bad cop was doing the housework. So the reason he got bad was resentment that the good cop never has to do any hoovering. Yeah. If there's anyone out there writing a detective series,

you can use that Frank never mind that isn't that a Sex Pistols album I'd like to kick off I'm going to call it Fashion Corner this week thank god you're back

we can talk about fashion again I'm really glad we do need to talk about fashion Cockrell's wearing double denim today I like him he's an enthusiast I'm really glad. We do need to talk about fashion. Cockrell's wearing double denim today. Don't mind it. I like him. No, I'm all over him. He's an enthusiast.

We've talked about this before. And he's got Sean Locks. Very comfortable. And I'm all over them as well. Sean Locks? Yeah. Oh, Sean Locks, I see. No, it's a denim shirt as well, not a jacket.

It's very prison break. I love it. It's very Jeremy Clarkson relaxes. No, it is not. I'm not having that. Anyway. Oh, that's hard. I'm not having that. Anyway. That's hard. Never mind that.

What about the Queen? The Queen has been... Well, she's got in a bit of trouble. Because... Can we just say she's still alive? The way Emily said that about the Queen, I don't want anyone thinking, oh, my God, what's happened to the Queen?

She's very well. She's very well. In fact, but she's got in trouble with the Daily Mail because she had what they described as a colour clash with the ABFC, friend of the show, Archbishop of Canterbury. No, I saw those pictures. As a fashion expert and deputy editor of InStyle magazine,

did you think the Queen's red outfit and the Bishop's purple... Is it cassock the word? Oh, you should know, love. I know, but I don't dabble with the Anglicans. Oh, OK. Tell me about it. Did you think that was a clash, the red and the purple?

I actually think it was so directional, they were colour-blocking. That's what I thought. They were colour-blocking beautifully. Well, if that's a clash, Crystal Palace are in big trouble. They were colour-blocking. That's what I thought. They were colour-blocking beautifully. Well, if that's a clash, Crystal Palace are in big trouble. Because that is their kit. Yeah, it's very fashion-forward.

And she went for a matching hot red lip, I noticed, as well. Yes, she did. She looked a bit like Marilyn Monroe. If Marilyn Monroe... No, if she'd lived. That's what Marilyn Monroe would look like now. Also, my favourite headline of the week was Cardinal Error. Oh, that is good.

Love that. Strong word. But I thought the purple and the red went fine. I did look at his purple outfit and think, thank God Barney the Dinosaur wasn't visiting instead of a Magistrate of the Queen, or that would have been too terrible. Can I ask you a question,

Frank, which I feel you might know the answer to. Can I save this until after the next piece of music? Because I think it's nice to have a teaser. I win it. It's a cliffhanger. It's quite a teaser. It's a liturgical question. I used to work as a teaser at the horse stud. But we'll leave that.

Frank! Frank! Frank! Skimmer! Frank Skimmer! Absolute Radio! Ah, feeling known by the fall? So you couldn't play the fall as your theme tune if you were a boxer, could you? Because you wouldn't want the fall. Oh, I see. Because you don't were a boxer, could you? Because you wouldn't want The Fall. Oh, I see. Because you don't want Fall, do you, as a boxer? No, but you could play Two Little Boys by Rolf Harris,

and I would choose that. That would be inappropriate. Surely it's too jolly. That's why I choose it. That's not jolly. It's sad. I'd play Chumba Wumba. I get knocked down, but I get up again.

Oh, but that's suggesting that you get knocked down. I know. Maybe you wouldn't. Anyway. I'm glad we've established what we'd all play. I like a bit of Chumbawumba. Not just that one. There are others.

You're telling me there are others? There are others, yeah, yeah. I'm putting it out there. I like it. There you go. Well, that's all the Chumbawumba news we have time for today. However, I would like to direct our attention back to the Queen and her sartorial mishap. But specifically, Frank, she was wearing, so, a colour clash

with the AB of C, the Archbishop of Canterbury. May I ask you something, which I feel you all know the answer to? He was wearing purple. Does he get a choice with those sort of liturgical colours, I'm calling them? Does he wake up one morning and think, oh, I fancy the red one? No, because purple is... I'm going off the Catholic chest now, but purple is the bishop colour. Oh, is it?

So it must apply to archbishops as well. Red is the cardinals. Oh, is that right? Yeah, so you can't just... Oh, you can't just put on what you fancy? He could have gone for a plain black. Could he? He knew what he was doing. I think... I'm surprised that the palace don't phone ahead

and say the Queen will be in orange today. And so everybody knows. Obviously, that would be bad news. Because I believe there was some Hare Krishnas at that reception. And what are they going to wear? They go over to their wardrobe. Apparently, the Queen's wearing orange. Oh. reception and what are they gonna wear they go over to their wardrobe apparently the queens were in orange oh i hope that no one from absolute radio hangs out too much with the abfc

yeah the fabulous uh absolute purple as well it was yeah i don't really understand this but i did used to do karate and you're allowed to wear certain belts but you couldn't just turn up in a black belt if you fancied it no no you know if you were a yellow belt you couldn't just put black on and go i just fancied a black belt today it wascied it. No, no. If you were a yellow belt, you couldn't just put black on and go, I just fancied a black belt today. It was like swimming at school. Did you get the stripes for swimming? If you swim a length, you get a white stripe. Oh, green stripe, yeah, blue stripe.

And there was that one when you had to put pyjamas on and take a rubber brick off the bottom of the... Yeah, that was bronze medal, wasn't it? Was that? That was the STA, I think. All these happened with me staring from the shallow end of course but uh yeah i remember them well remember the stripes i never they always they used to stitch them onto their trunks yes yeah uh the elephants did frank we swam with elephants i grew up in um

I grew up in Kinshasa. He did a little accent there to make it sound authentic. You just stared at it playing from Belfast, didn't you? It was fabulous. An accent and a wiggle he did, as he said. Me and the local native boys beating washing on stones. It was a beautiful childhood in many ways. Sounds idyllic. Odd you haven't mentioned it before now, really, innit?

You'll find there are great periods of his life that are quite odd. Yeah, I think you'll, you know, you've known me how long, haven't you? Yeah, you know, but I'm a book with many pages. Frank, the Queen has been in the papers again. Chapter 3, Africa.

Um, yes, the Queen's been in the papers again. Well, that's a shocker. Queen in the papers, you say? Absolutely. God, she's an attention seeker, the Queen. But this time it was to do with Ronnie Corbett. Did you see that? Oh, yes.

He was given a CBE. Excellent news. Because he said, I feel that Ronnie Barker is looking down on me. I thought, well, we all are, yes. He was given a CBE. Excellent news. Yeah. Because he said, I feel that Ronnie Barker is looking down on me. I thought, well, we all are, dear. No choice. No, I was very happy to see Ronnie get his OBE. I noticed that she'd stolen the ABFC style and had plumped for purple for her meet with Ronnie Corbett. I didn't spot that.

I also liked that she said you make people laugh was what she said yeah i think i think she said it with a question mark she said you no i isn't isn't he one of those quite special characters who the queen knows who he is yeah i would think yes i would like to compile a list of people who the queen knows who he is yeah i would think yes i would like to compile a list of people who the queen would know without any introduction from an assistant right i know i wouldn't be on it because i've met the queen and she said who are you does she come right out and just say she does yeah she said who are you and what do you do football match and she knows who are you yeah she knows you can't come straight

back at her and say, well, anyway, who are you? Because she knows that'd be ridiculous. So she's got you on the back foot, the Queen. Yeah. So that's what she said. And then Ant and Det was next to me. She didn't know who Ant and Det was. No. No. Can you believe that? But Ronnie Corbett, I think she'd know him. I think you have to be around about 50 years for the Queen to know who you are. And even then, it's a game of chance. Like red or black. You make people... A cab driver said to me this week,

I asked him where we were going or something, and I said, sorry, I'm getting old. And he said to me, he said, if you keep... I can't do the accent. He was foreign. He said, I'll do the accent because it's no particular accent. Now you've said that at five.

I can't. I think East European's alright. I don't think East European is controversial. And he said, if you continue to make the whole family laugh, you will never grow old. And I thought, what a lovely tribute. And then I thought, whose family?

And that's nagged at me, obviously, ever since. Absolute Radio, Frank Skinner. Meanwhile, over at Buckingham palace with the queen and ronnie corbett yes um yeah so she gave him his cbe not a knighthood i was disappointed by that but they didn't clash although ronnie did ronnie shouldn't have wore the crown yeah but then i thought she could have said it's good night from me. That would have been good. Oh, that would have been... Yes. Was that the headline?

No, because he only got a CBE. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry about... Sorry to hear that. And he said she was remarkable for her age. Yes.

Yeah, both of these sound like kind of pat compliments, don't they? You make people laugh. And I've got the comedian's mindset of thinking, do you mean brackets not me but other people apparently the way you said it with the emphasis on people you make people laugh like but you never make any of the other animal kingdom laugh at all no i just meant that it sounded like she was saying other people quietly and then he said she looked

remarkable for her age and the word remarkable is a really easy compliment isn't it because everything's remarkable i could also you know this bottle of water is remarkable but it's it's not it's just that if i choose to remark upon it then it's remarkable isn't it yes i should say that the bottle of water that alan is drinking out of is the same shape as the sp Steps, the well-known Roman site. So it is actually quite remarkable. Is it any more remarkable than any other bottle of water? That's the big question. Well, because of its shape.

You can remark upon anything. It's no more remarkable than my Gaudi-constructed one. No, that one is. I thought you'd just left that one by the two-bar heater I always have in the corner of the studio. I do the whole thing in a tweed blanket, in case you're wondering. Who was the celebrity who lost her virginity on the Spanish Steps? Who was that? I don't know.

Text in 8-12-15. Yes, you would. You can count me out for a start. Yes. I don't think they were built when you lost your virginity. Andy's back. Also, remarkable for your age means you're not remarkable objectively speaking, only because you're 85.

Reminds me of a terrible dilemma I got into with a woman I knew. I meant this in the kindest of ways. I meant it as a compliment. Whenever you start an anecdote like that it always ends in tragedy. And I said, you know, you're in great shape for a woman with two kids. And she absolutely went ballistic. And I thought

that was, I really thought it was a nice thing to say. Was I some sort of a naïve? Was of a naïve? Was I a naïve from the half-eye line? Some man said to me when he ran into me, oh, you look good. You've kept your figure. Isn't that what you

say to a 70-year-old? Yeah, there's a sense of conservation about that. Which I don't like. But, I must say, Ronnie shouldn't be going around saying, you look good for your age. He's not exactly cast of skins himself, is he? No, no. I mean, he's ancient, Ronnie.'t be going around saying you look good for your age. He's not exactly cast of skins himself, is he? No, no. I mean, he's ancient, Ronnie. I think he might be cast

of skins in one of those exhibitions that that German bloke in the black hat puts on. But, um, he's a legend, though. He's a comedy legend. Love Ronnie Corbett. I'll tell you what I love about it, as we end our discussion of Ronnie Corbett, I think it's the first ever... Oh, no, it isn't. I let the side down.

I was going to say, it's the first ever discussion when Ronnie's height has not been referred to, but the first thing I said was about Ronnie's height. I have failed. But to have a... That's my ambition for this show, to have a conversation one week about Ronnie Corbett and not mention his height at all. And then the week after, we'll do the same with Peter Crouch. How does that sound? And then Vanessa Feltz is the next challenge.

Yeah, just carry on like that and see how many clichés we can challenge. Absolute Radio with Frank Skinner. I'd like to do a couple of thank yous, actually.

I was sent gifts through the post from Nougat. Do you remember Nougat who occasionally texts in? Some call him Nogget. I prefer the French. Ted Nougat, yeah. Yeah, and he sent me a bib. Not, some of you may think, for my 55th birthday, but no. For my child, who is on the way i'm told double up as a double gift he texted me from nairobi this is my african child no i know but i'm very excited and also

gary patterson who uh for my birthday sent me um a rather fabulous uh dvd of itv wrestling oh is that for the baby as well? No, this is for something to do during those sleepless nights. They're all there. Jackie Palo, Mick McManus, Steve Logan. Oh, I love Mick McManus. Burt Royal, Vic Faulkner. Have you done...

Tibor Zakash. I had a feeling the list couldn't be complete. Ricky Starr, Les Kellett. The great Les Kellett. Wasn't he the funny one? Oh, he was amazing. I'd put him above Chaplin in The Clown. Put him above Chaplin?

I would. He was brilliant, Les Kellett. Anyway. Frank, we've had some emails in after that extraordinary statement. This one is from Mike in Vietnam. Good morning. Hey. Yo.

Yo. Me. He says, Dear Frank, the Cockerel and Emily, Love the show as ever. I know Frank has some 15th century guy who looks like him. He's actually late 18th, early 19th. I think he's referring to David Ricardo, the political economist.

The loose economist. Close friend, you'll remember, of Richard Conversation Sharp. Sharpie. Or as they call him at Dave, Richard Banter Sharp. Yes. So I know Frank has some 15th century guy who looks like him, David Ricardo. And I've just found the Cockerels look alike, presumably. The BAFTA winning screenplay writer, Peter Strawn.

This is the man who did The Artist. I think he did Tinker, Taylor, Soldier Spy. No, that was Adaptation, wasn't it? Anyway, we'll let it off. I don't did Tinker, Taylor, Soldier's Five. That was Adaptation, wasn't it? Anyway, we'll let it off. I don't want to get into it. I think he did a screenplay. Either way, he's won a BAFTA for a screenplay. Yes, he has.

Have you seen Peter Strawn, Frank? I haven't. Does he look like the cockerel? Have you seen him, Cockerel? I've seen him, yeah. I'm not sure. I'd like to know. You're not happy with this one, are you? Can can i just say this complicates things for me rather oh oh yes oh god if you had a moment no straw now i'm sorry i'm calling him no but peter strawn i can't even look at the cockerel while i'm saying this okay he's one of my ocCs obscure crushes oh dear I speak the code

I know it's really put the cat amongst the pigeons never mind the cock rolls not least because I was once on a train with the MP Tom Watson on it there's some incredible name dropping going on in this section

I said the MP Tom Watson is on my train and you said he's one of my OCs so I know about Emily's OCs. Yes. I know that means obscure crush. But I hadn't initially seen the resemblance I have to be honest but I don't wish to make the cockerel feel uncomfortable in the workplace. No. Sadly there's rules about that.

There are yeah. So I will terminate the crush forthwith. I'm not sure I look that like him. You're more Nordic. He's got dark curly hair. Funny you should say I'm more Nordic, because we've recently watched The Killing on the DVD, and apparently my father and mother-in-law

think I look a bit like the bloke who plays Hartman. Trolls. In the first series, apparently I've got to look a Hartman. Can I say to any listeners that The Killing is a TV programme? When he says I watched The Killing on DVD. I do live in Manchester. It's not snuff movies.

Or anything of that nature. Is that the first time snuff movies have been mentioned on Absolute Rain? Possibly. No, Ben Jones talked about them. I think at the moment it's Minotaur 4 snuff movies 1. In talked about them. I think at the moment it's Minotaur 4, Snuff Movies 1, in the references front. I watched The BAFTAs. Oh, did you?

Yeah, obviously I turned the sound down for Stephen Fry. But I was pleased with the... I haven't seen The Artist, but I did like the fact that the actual best screenplay went to the bloke for The Artist and there's no words in it. Some are brilliant about that. He's a very good describer yes that bloke i once saw a silent film i've never told you this story i saw a silent film made it was one of the first ever mgm movies and it was silent but they still had the lion you know when the lion comes on

so they had the lion but obviously no sound so they didn't it didn't roar i mean i mean it didn't even silently roar it just sort of looked into camera in a sort of a slightly um what do i do now uncomfortable kind of way did it look like the outtakes like a clip off it did it looked like it was just clear in his throat pretty raw but they could have they could have let it roar and then they could have put a thing up that said grr you know they could have it they could have yeah but um maybe it just it couldn't roll that one that they use obviously became very iconic the roaring thing but come the talkies or as the lions call it the roaries he was out of work, but it was so odd

we know what it's doing when it opens its mouth like that I've never seen a lion look uncomfortable before seems a waste of a lion Alan even doing his childhood years in Kinshasa that you told us about earlier

I never remember a mute line out there. I found them at best they would sort of growl, but you know I never heard one purr. That's because they were kept in very unkind

captivity I suspect. Absolute Radio with Frank Skinner. Any more word from the outside world? Yeah, Frank, we've had some texts in. 592. This is from Amy.

Do you ever listen really carefully to a song to hear the singer catching their breath after a long note or lots of lyrics? It's something I find myself doing often but wondered if anyone else does. That's a brilliant thing to do, Amy. I think that's a resounding yes in this room. I don't know if I ever have done that. Oh, I've definitely done that.

I don't like that bit when you hear fingers sort of scraping on guitars. It goes... Yeah. You hear them sort of... No, that's only when you listen to The Fall, darling. No, no, when they slide... Acoustics are particular culprits.

Oh, right, yeah, yeah. If you're listening to, like, blues or something like that. Well, I don't listen to blues. If you were. If you were. I'm thinking if you were listening to, say, um... Judy Tzuk. Say if you were listening to a Judy Tzuk album.

I don't think I've got a Judy Tsuk album. No, I'll lend you one. But I haven't got any either. I don't know if anybody has. It's a strangest exchange, on an absolute radio. I once met Judy Tsuk, and she hadn't got any either. Was it Black Kinshasa? She said she was listening one day, she just got sick of me.

Have you really met her? No. Of course he has. He's worked with them all. Oh, I have. We have had word from the outside world. This week, somebody sent an email in. I don't know if you remember, last week or the week before,

you espoused your idea that dogs should have surnames and full names and human names. And the name you plucked I thought at random was Martin Henderson. It was at random. It just sounds like a good standard human name. Well, we've had an email in titled Martin Henderson. Hi everyone. We couldn't decide upon a name for our Jack

Russell pup when we had her seven years ago so I said I'd randomly pick a name from the paper. Yes, the name I found was Martin Henderson. What? So I was amazed to hear Frank say that he liked the name for the dog last week. Love the show, thanks, Adrian. P.S. We decided to go with the name Betty after thinking more.

Oh. Oh. You don't like the idea that he was out? Did you just chuck that name from the top of your head? Well, you know, it's the most ordinary name I could think of. And it just sounded like a funny dog name. How can one ever truly define one's comic instincts? But the fact...

That is, I think, probably my first ever psychic experience, if that's a true story. Seven years later. He's lucky that he didn't end up with Tony Blair as the name of his dog, really. But what's the chances of two people coming up with Martin Henderson as a dog name? What are the chances of that happening? That's this week's texting.

That catchphrase is copyright, by the way. If there's any mathematicians listening. That is... Betty, I'm not sure about. If I know if I had a dog called Betty, that I would be saying, Ooh, Betty. I would be saying ooh Betty every time I mean just over and over

ooh Betty after a whoopsie on the floor I would be saying ooh Betty till I got sick of it and then I still would still be saying it like by the end I'd be going ooh Betty in a very not giving it not giving it any Crawford that's my god daughter's name I don't want some mangy old mutt having that name.

Oh, Betty. It's out there. Oh, Betty. That's what it'd be like. How often would you really enjoy? Oh, Betty, never again. I'd say about the first seven years, probably. Yeah, I could do seven years of the Crawford.

Oh, dear, I broke something on the desk. Weck. Could have, like like a small jewel come off the bottom. Anyway, not very interesting for people. Someone's texted saying the MGM lion was from Dublin Zoo. How do they know these things? I don't know. When you think about it

though, when it roars, the MGM lion, when the talkies came in, there is an element of rar! Rar! Rar! Rar! About it. There is a Dublin.

Yes. If you want to download Not The Weekend podcast, I suggest you get a computer. It's available to download from Wednesday and that's us talking about other things. Oh, Mark! Sorry, it says mention Mark Crossley. Oh, Mark Crossley is next on the next show. And he's giving me that look of, I had that all through school.

I don't want it now. Now I'm an adult and a respected broadcaster. But I'll make up to him in between this bit. It's been lovely and it's been so great to have Emily back. There is big love in the room. So, if the good Lord spares us and the Greeks don't rise,

the Greeks may rise. Let's face it, they're on the verge. We'll be back next week at the same time. Ta-ra a bit.