The Frank Skinner Show - Frank Skinner talks to Christian O'Connell

Episode Date: August 12, 2010

Frank gets interviewed by the OC in a special midweek podcast.

I've got about ten seconds to tell you how to get two-for-one tickets for top-drawer comedy nights near you, thanks to our friends at the TV channel Dave, at absoluteradio.co.uk. Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win prizes while you're there, too. I've run out of time, though. Thanks for downloading Absolute Radio's A-Team podcast, part four of four. Christian O'Connell interviews Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio's A-Team. Absolute Radio's A-Team. Absolute Radio.

Are you just listening to the A-Team theme tune throughout this whole interview, Frank, or are you actually going to listen to me? That's why we're going... That's not us, that's all me. No, there's a bit where it goes... That's the standard. There's another bit where they slightly break that middle bit down.

They go... They never did that. They did that. No, no. The bit where the car would go up in the air and then overturn and stuff like that. It's the bit you're talking about where it did break down, but it wasn't a... Well, now you're asking me something that's a disadvantage. I'll tell you for why.

In the 80s, I was basically why, is that in the 80s I was basically drunk for the whole of the 80s, so I don't know that I've ever seen the 80s, but I just like the theme tune I didn't want to say anything, but I'm glad that you brought it up Frank, it was on my mind I couldn't name the characters from the 80s, unless it

was Jeff Lloyd, Dave Gordon Mr Breakfast and Frank Skinner, that's all I could do. I know Mr T, obviously everybody knows Mr T. I only know him from your radio show. So, listen, I'm now interviewing you now, Frank. Okay. Because you were, Frank, when you were interviewing me,

you were talking about, you were kind of interested in why I would do martial arts. Now, my fascination with you is about stand-up comedy. Because it's something that i tried in the early 90s and uh badly and did a lot of the new act nights and uh it scared the life out of me but it's something i'm still fascinated by um how important to is stand up to you well it's i've developed a sort of an interesting uh relationship with it now because i've always said that i am a stand-up comedian who does other things so that's my core thing but I'm not sure I do it often enough now I it's a source of shame for me now I don't feel that I do stand up enough I actually start to worry that I can no longer

call myself a stand-up comedian which makes me a bit ashamed so funnily enough I am going to start writing stand-up I'm doing some stuffnily enough, I am going to start writing stand-up. I'm doing some stuff in Edinburgh, and then I'm going to start writing a new tour because if I'm not doing it, I feel slightly empty. Do you really? Honestly. Yeah.

I'm not being disrespectful to other jobs, but for me, that is really what it's all about. And I also think if you can do it, you have an obligation to do it, because most people can't. Oh, and see, I've been, as a kid, a big fan of, like, Billy Connolly, and then over the years,

you sort of see different comedians, and I remember seeing you for the first time when you toured the Perrier show that you won. Yeah. Early 90s, 91, 92. 91, yeah. I think you came to my university with that. Al Murray was supporting you,

who then wasn't the pub landlord, just did weird... He did sound effects. If people think I'm making that up, he did sound effects of aeroplanes and guns. Mainly guns. Yeah, that was his thing. This is how long it was ago.

And seeing you instilled in my mind, Chris, that I should give it a go. Because you had so much energy in what you did and you were so naturally funny. A lot of the comedians I've... Not in a, well, if he can do it, I can do it kind of a way. No, you're taking it that way, Craig. No, it inspired me.

So I started doing these new act nights and stuff like that. And I want to know, when you've gone through periods of the last couple of years, up until your recent tour and the book about going back into that as well, you hadn't done stand-up for quite a long time. How many years was the lay-off? It was ten years of doing... I mean, I'd done bits, you know, little gigs here and there

and bits on telly, but I hadn't done a tour. And how does that make you feel? Does it gnaw away at you? Is it something that comes back to you a lot? It makes me feel rubbish, really. It makes me feel slightly cowardly. And I think the reason... People give all sorts of reasons for not doing stand-up. I mean, I was doing loads of telly then, so I had plenty of excuses for not doing stand-up. I mean, I was doing loads of telly then,

so I had plenty of excuses for not doing stand-up. But there was a time at ITV I had a sabbatical year written into my contract so that I could do stand-up. And I still didn't do it. So it was cowardice, because I think it's the hardest thing to write. Yeah. Because it has to be lean meat.

You know on a radio show, you can do the odd link and think, well, that didn't quite work, but there was a... And they haven't paid to see you. If you pay to come and see you now, what's that? £50, £100, £200? No, no. I think you've got me mixed up with Lady Gaga.

OK. No, I don't charge that kind of... But they've paid, so they're like, criking because you've... Not only are they paying, they've booked babysitters... Yeah, it's a night out. Yeah, yeah. So I think I was a bit frightened to do it, but I sort of think if I'm not doing stand-up,

I almost don't exist. So why did you go back to it? Was it also the financial stuff as well? Well, it was part... I mean, there was several reasons. I mean, I think if you're, as an outsider, you think, well, it's pretty obvious, the telly work dried up. So he thought, oh, I'm going to do it. Yeah, but you must have squirreled enough away.

You don't drink, and a lot of the other pitfalls that a lot of people waste their money on, you must have looked after your money. I mean, the big contracts with ITV and BBC. Yeah, but I'm not in it for the money. I'm in it for my ego. So I had to do something. But also, I just thought, to be honest, I'd got a little bit bored.

I'd lost my mojo a bit. And the last couple of series I'd done, I was giving it my best shot, but I'd stopped going into the edits and stuff like that, and I wasn't as excited about it, and I needed to go back to the well and get the stand-up going again. So that's what I did, but even that tour felt like a warm-up for the next tour, because in my mind, there is a stand-up show, which is the best stand-up show I can do. So even despite winning the Perrier years ago,

you still feel that, you know, you've still got the ultimate sort of set is inside of you somewhere. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, unfortunately, I can't hear the words to it, but I know it's... I can hear the rhythms of it, and I know that there is a perfect set to be done, and until I do the perfect set, then i have to keep doing it did it feel uh was it hard getting back into standard because obviously in the last 10 years the landscape's

changed well i mean for a start-off there's loads more comics about now i do think that's a good thing in the quality store though it's not a good thing if you're trying to make a comeback it's a nightmare what i needed was a wasteland the comedy wasteland you're saying china would be good some sort of china but they didn't like my political stuff i can imagine yeah so no i um i really tried to go back into it not even thinking about you know i did this and i did that it was a bit like starting anew so i did lots of little clubs and try out gigs and to be honest, I like that part of it better than I like the tour. Yeah. Because some

very, there is nothing more exciting than doing new material and it working. I can imagine. Oh, man. You're at the genesis of the birth of what your art is. Yeah, but also you write a lot of stuff that doesn't work so you never know when you go out there. When it works, you think, oh, man, you can hear it,

and you think, oh, this is a good bit, I'll be able to use this bit for a long time, and it'll always get laughs, and it'll get better, because I'll embroider it, and it'll grow, and this is something that's got a real chance. And then you do a bit that completely dies, and you think, oh, that's one of these bits. Do you have a golden rule, like, there must be stuff when you're doing new material, because sometimes a joke, I guess, in a room would go not that well,

and then another night, it might just go well well there's an energy in a room i would imagine do you ever think where you go this this joke's really good i really hang on to this i still believe in it and then after the fourth night of maybe not going we go that's it it's got to go well yeah i i don't i do do that occasionally usually if they go if they get nothing i put across on next to them and that's that But there are ones that I persevere with, but I don't think I do it for the right reasons. There's ones I just like saying. There was one I used to... I really tried to make this work,

and I don't know why now, but at the time I had a real affection for it. I said, I did a folk festival, and it was so hot, some of the dogs had to loosen their bandanas. And it got nothing. And I thought, no, I really like that. Maybe they don't know that dogs wear those red gypsy bandanas. And I thought, maybe I could introduce that as a casual point earlier in the set and then do the joke later on.

But it just didn't... In the end, I had to let it go. And how hard is it to sit down and... The casual way you said, I'm going to go and write a new tour, what does that mean? Are you disciplined where you will literally start writing in a blank piece of paper or on a PC or whatever you do

at nine o'clock in the morning? Yeah, I usually start about ten. I write freehand. For some reason, Stan... Freehand? What kind of phrase is that? What does that mean? With a pyro? The pen drops out of the sky.

It's called freehand. It's called freehand. I've never heard freehand. You've never heard that? We're living in the age of the iPhone. Is that like an app, freehand? Is that a slave gun round? What does it say about Nottingham Trent University

that you've never heard the phrase freehand? I don't know what... A longhand. They still live in a forest and dress in green there. But I've never heard the phrase free hand? I don't know what a long hand. They still live in a forest and dress in green there. But look, I've never heard that. Does that mean you have someone comes around and you've got free hands? You dictate to them? No. Joke two.

What are you suggesting I write by manuensis? Is that what you're saying? I never heard of free hand. Okay, well I write with a pen. Yeah, a quill. A biro. So it'd be in a notebook, a journal. Yeah, a quill. Not a quill, a biro. So, and it'd be in a notebook, a journal? In a notebook, yeah.

And you can sit down and be disciplined enough to do it over a day? And I'll sit down and think, right, what possible topics could there be? And sometimes you just sit there for ages and nothing happens. And then suddenly you'll think of something and maybe you might dash off a dozen gags. I try to write 12 gags a day is the well-balanced way when you say gags though i mean some of those might be 30 seconds might be a minute and when i guess you don't know how long these days you have to build up to do a tour is that an hour and a half's worth of material it's interesting because my two was the last tour i

did was about an hour and 45 in total and i always used to do about an hour and a half, hour 40. And then I saw a few comics just lately, and they were really good shows. Yeah. But after about an hour and 10, I thought, that'll do me now. That's enough. I think you're really funny, and I've really enjoyed it,

but I don't want any more. So it's making me think on my last two hour, an hour and a quarter is plenty. Last time I didn't use a support act, but I think next time I will use a support act. I was thinking I might have a competition on the show for a support act. You should definitely do that. People would love to do that.

And you'll give an absolute, an amateur, not a semi-pro comic or... A complete amateur. You should definitely do that. It'd be a great thing to do. Come on and do. I was thinking maybe half an hour at the top. Half an hour?

You just want someone on the... so you can come on and go, thanks, mate. Anyway, white dog poo. Are you into it? Absolute Radio's A-Team. Christian O'Connell interviews Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. So, you're obviously very keen on Stan.

Why haven't you done it again? I think what happened is I got up to a competition at the Edinburgh Festival. It was like a semi-final for one of these search for a start. It was called So You Think You're Funny, and it was run by Channel 4. And I was very, very, very nervous. I used to get terrible stage fright before doing it. I had, like, words written down on my hand for these non-existent jokes and i was outside this venue the gilded balloon oh yeah it's since burnt down is it yeah well that wasn't you they had like a small back bit of it and that's where this heat

was yeah i remember that and um i was outside i smoked at the time, I was like 21, 22, and, well, I say the audience, but about 20 people were shuffling in to watch me, and you were one of them. Was I? Why would a big comedian, lording it up, you'd come to see that heat? For some reason, I don't know why, Frank, you walked in with Stuart Lee.

Oh, really? Yeah. When was this? This was, like, early 90s, 92, 93. Two really fantastic comedians sat in amongst about 20 people in a very small venue. So when I walked out to do my set, I was really nervous. And then the only thing I could see was you and Stuart Lee. Oh, no.

Yeah. And Stuart only ever laughs at avant-garde theatre, so you're not going to get anything out of him. No. So I've seen you do stand-up. This gets worse, Frank. I was crest-falling at this experience, and I didn't know what to do. I had no money. I slept in a shop doorway, crying, drunk,

until the first train back to London. See, you'd have been a great stand-up. Just a very bitter one. Crying and drunk. I went back home to Mum and Dad, and Mum and Dad were like, hey, keep at it. You know what they're like. I was like, no, I don't think it's meant to be, and I thought, I'll tell you what, I'll write to Frank Skinner, he was there, and I'm sorry, you know, and I like this guy.

I wrote to you, but in green ink. I now know green ink is the ink off the nutter. Of course. You know, some guy didn't make it, set it in a shop door, I asked you for some stand-up tips. Oh. And your silence said enough. That was my last experience of stand-up. Oh,. And your silence said enough. That was my last experience at stand-up.

Oh, I am sorry about that. So, but it keeps coming back to me. I've played with the thought of, like, you know, hiring a very small venue at Edinburgh and, you know, like for next year and seeing could I get together. What, 2011? Yeah. Do it.

Whenever I meet you, I don't know if you're aware of this, you often bring up stand-up or some stand-up that you've seen recently. Yeah, because you're a stand-up comedian. No, no, because you're obviously a stand-up fan. If you were a sailor, I'd go, I saw a boat. Would you? Well, no, because I'm a moron. No, I think you're clearly slightly obsessed with stand-up comedy.

No, but you're watching it and enjoying it. It's nagging. That failure is nagging at you. You've got to lay it to rest. Well, no,'re watching it and enjoying it. It's nagging. That failure is nagging at you. You've got to lay it to rest. Well, no, because maybe it should have been laid to rest then and you shouldn't go back to it. No, but you obviously still feel you can do it. No. You do.

Go on, do it. Book a room. Yeah, you're just saying this. Now, promise me on air, promise me on air that you will, by the spirit of Bruce Lee, who I presume you worship at the altar of Bruce Lee who I presume you worship at the altar of. Bruce Lee or Bruce Lee? Now I'm confused.

Bruce Lee. Oh, I know. Yeah, but I mean, I have gone as far as starting to write what this might be. Yeah, but Frank I've got three bits that are no more than about four minutes.

Yeah, but great oak trees from little acorns grow. God, I've used that line a few times. They've never believed me. They were right. Now, come on, Mr Breakfast. Is that going to be the name of the show? Why not? Come on, do it.

All right, all right. Promise me you'll book a room at the 2011 Edinburgh Festival and do stand-up comedy. Yeah, I will promise. Result! Go on! Oh, Mr Stand-Up.

Welcome to Mr Breakfast. I'm Mr Breakfast. Where's the reply to my letter? I'm sorry, I'll send it to you sometime in the future when you've become Mr Brunch. Okay, thank you. Absolute Radio's 18. Absolute Radio.

And so, tell me about going and doing radio. Is that something you enjoy? Do you enjoy doing this? Well, of course, it's very difficult to talk about radio because as you once pointed out to me, I had written in a book that if ever you hear me say I'm passionate about radio, it means my career is in ruins. But do you enjoy it?

Oh, man, seriously, I absolutely love it. And that's really good to hear. What do you like about it? I like about it... I've always thought that, you know, I've done funny live shows, I've done funny live shows and I've done funny TV shows, though I say to shouldn't.

Once when I've walked around and thought, no, I'm really pleased with that. That was top end. But I've never... I still think the funniest I ever am is when I'm just sitting with some people in a room and start to get on a roll and just start to just, you know, riff on it.

And there are moments during stand-up, and even on TV, where you get flavour of that. But radio is the closest thing to that. It's the closest thing to sitting with a couple of mates and just getting on one where you know you're funny and it's dropping out of you like windfall fruit. And I don't know anywhere else that I've really had that. And I realised that about two or three shows in.

And then I started to love... Honestly, to the point, even though, as you know, one has to get up a bit early to do a breakfast show. I get up a bit later than you, but early for me yeah six o'clock in the morning or whatever and when i get here when i come up the stairs to the studio there's a genuine spring in my step you know i'm i can't wait to get the headphones on man i it sounds like a crappy company man thing to say but i totally love it and so i'm pleased to hear that you like radio though because i often wonder because you know you get a lot of people who have uh done a lot of tv work and you're back on tv now and opinionated was a really good show it felt like a radio show on tv and in all

the not in any way that you hadn't really thought a format and this that was a very it was just you you just you had no pants on but no it felt that it was you doing what you do, but it was just sitting around chatting with the audience and with the guests, and that's what you do on the radio show. Did you want it to fill up that? Was that intentional? Well, it wasn't really intentional, but someone who works for Absolute Radio said, I thought, rather waspishly to me, well, it's just like your radio show on telly, isn't it?

And I hadn't really thought about that. And then I thought, well, maybe's just like your radio show on telly, isn't it? And I hadn't really thought about that. And then I thought, well, maybe it is. I think that the radio show has had an influence on my comedy in general. Has it? In what way? I think it's just, it's made me, I always thought I was quite me on stage. Some people are not at all them on stage.

But I always thought that the gap between me off and me on was quite small. But on radio, it's almost not there. So I think it's made me more me in the public. So is that affected when you're writing material and stuff like that? Do you find

stuff, shed stuff that you might have done 10 years ago, but you're kind of like, I'm not sure I want that kind of stuff? Yeah, I think that changes anyway. I mean, partly because comedy is... When I came back to do stand-up, I did some jokes, which I thought people thought, oh, no, people don't do jokes about that anymore. That must have been hard.

Yeah, well, it's, you know... Did they hand you notes? It's all part of the learning process. No, they just handed me silence. Indifference and disdain. And some tottings. And so is it something you've imagined doing radio now for quite a long time? I imagine doing it forever, to be honest.

Because I went to the World Cup, as you may recall. I used to phone you on a regular basis in the morning. You and Dave were the soundtrack to it, which was great fun. I really enjoyed the chat, so I felt sorry for you because obviously you were knackered after getting up early in the morning and recording the podcast sometimes at midnight. I'll tell you what was great, though, is that because I spoke to you on the phone so much after that period

and now doing this face-to-face, you know when people meet women on the internet that they arrange a meeting? Here's the thing, I'm also interested in how important spirituality is to you as well. That's something that's still a big part of your life. Yes, it's a massive part of my life. And I sort of, it changes all the time like everything else. I am a bit, I am very windswept.

My opinions and views on everything sort of swirl around. And although I've got that basic belief in God... In a Catholic sense, in terms of you're going to church every Sunday? Yeah, I do do that. But that kind of switches around. I used to think you had to be Catholic to get to heaven. Yeah. And now my view of what heaven is has probably changed.

How has heaven changed then? How would heaven in your mind have been 10, 15 years ago? I'm curious about when you said that you think heaven's changed. I think it's been changed by my time at Absolute Radio. I now see myself in headphones for eternity. Did you used to go to church every Sunday? Were you there on the weekends? When you were out in South Africa and that,

would you have found a local church and tried to keep up with it there I went to several different churches in South Africa that's one of the brilliant things about it because it's a bit like having a flat in every country because it's so familiar to me

you know when you when you get home I've just been away for a bit, and you know that thing that people always say, it's lovely to travel and see wondrous things, but there's nothing quite like your own toilet. Yeah. Well, listen, we've got, I generally found it fascinating talking to you, Frank, and

we've got to wrap it up now. I'd like to ask you one last final question, I'll be out of doing what, radio now for 18 months? I think you did bits and bobs beforehand. I seem to remember hearing you cover for Danny Baker years ago. I did cover for Danny Baker. When it was like morning edition and Radio 5 played music, I think. Yeah, yeah.

Is that right? It was quite a while ago. It was. It was in his glory days. Yeah, yeah. And what's the big thing you've learned about doing radio? Let's say Absolute Radio, where it's a regular gig for you now. Say Absolute Ready, but it's a regular gig for you now. When you have a phone-in, try not to use, as I did about week three,

the topic was, why is life such a grotesque pantomime? And that's like 10 past eight on a Saturday morning. Actually, it was a text-in. I bet it was even worse. I didn't really put that in a text. I don't think we got any replies at all. I thought it'd be different from name a song with

a collar in the title, which is what I use the DJs do. Well, listen, Frank, thank you very much for your time. It's always a joy to see you, Mr Breakfast. Thank you very much, Mr Saturday. You're not going to do that weird bit in the... Right, I'm going to find out that theme tune.

It doesn't exist. Thanks for downloading part four of Absolute Radio's 18 podcast. Don't forget, you can download the whole series right now on iTunes. Absolute Radio.