The Frank Skinner Show - Frisbee Dog

Episode Date: February 3, 2024

Frank Skinner's on Absolute Radio every Saturday morning and you can enjoy the show's podcast right here. The Radio Academy Award winning gang bring you a show which is like joining your mates for a coffee... So, put the kettle on, sit down and enjoy UK commercial radio's most popular podcast. This week we celebrate Pierre's Birthday! The team also discuss new slang, varsity jackets and Biffo the Bear.

This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. You can text the show on 8 12 15. Follow us on X and Instagram at Frank on the Radio. Email via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk I feel I've done the housekeeping, and now we can enjoy ourselves. Speak for yourself.

Oh. What about this morning when I started? What about this morning? Well, it's a bit late for that conversation. They've got rid of the troublemakers. Have they got the new ones yet? I think they're going to do the have I got news for you. We can't find anyone nice, so we're rotating the other people.

I think they've had a sort of soft launch. Oh, a soft launch. Yeah, that's the Gen Z phrase of choice. They like a soft launch. People sneaking on. What about this morning when I wrote in PS, communal birthday card. I think court sofas have a soft launch.

Do you remember court sofas when Bruce Forsyth on the advert would say silencing courts? Yeah. He'd be dressed as a judge and then he'd talk about great sofas. There was a jingle which was... Again, not saying settees, which I, again, feel is a word that's been lost. No.

They would... I think the tagline was, I sincerely hope to see you all in court. Oh, yes, that sounds right. OK. Yeah, this morning, I still feel a bit awkward. He hasn't received it yet. Have you got the card?

Yes, yes. It's Pierre's birthday celebration. We did the joint card. And I was a bit sort of distracted. And I wrote it as if I was writing it to you. And I put darling. And I feel uncomfortable. When Emily says you, she means me.

Not everyone listening. No. Was that inappropriate to put darling in Pierre's card? Well, I think you made such an all-fire fuss about it, you couldn't possibly think it was sincere. Oh, no. Good. Like, oh, why have I written this on Pierre's card? But maybe I thought that would be the sort of indirect sincerity.

Oh, no, I've sent you another dozen roses. Yeah, you know, when the girl who's horrible to you at school really fancies you. Yeah. Yeah, it could have been that. I agree. Okay. Sorry, everyone.

But yes, it is. And we've got in one present. Yes. Would you like to say what it was? The present. I think it's not going to do my relatability brand any favours. Oh, that's shot. That's shot to hell.

Last week it was an illustrated Ulysses that I bought myself. Yeah. For how much? £66, according to Waterstones. Yeah. Cheaper everywhere else. It is... It's a Victorian map of Anglo-Saxon England.

Double history. Yeah, double history. That's what we're after. It's a beautiful thing, though. Yes, you are. Me and my little map. Meanwhile, I'm wearing a TVA top, which I got for my birthday,

which is a low-key birthday present. And if anyone got that at home, congratulations, because it's from the TV series Low Key. Is Tom Hiddleston low key? Tom Hiddleston is low key and rather brilliant. For all people, mark Tom Hiddleston for who he actually is. The people who he pretends to be are brilliant. Do you know, I think he never got over the Taylor Swift incident.

Well, the singlet. Yes, he wore a singlet that said, I heart TS. Yeah. I think he never got over having to do an insane impression of Robert De Niro to Robert De Niro's face. In fairness. Just like watching an anxiety dream. But he's a brilliant loci.

If Frank wore a T-shirt saying, I heart TS, I'd respect him because I know it would be TS Elliot. Yeah, exactly. That would be fine. There's darkness there, but we won't go into it. No, I like this top a lot. I haven't taken it off since I got it for my birthday. And there's a slight element of one of my favorite garments

the varsity jacket who i always associate with the popular actor idris elba who i've seen in a couple of really state-of-the-art varsity jackets and um i think he might be an ambassador and I think he might be an ambassador. For Varsity? Yeah, because I think they must be being supplied to him. I believe he has his own clothing brand. So maybe there's a Varsity line. Melbourne Varsity.

I do like that jacket on you, Frank. Thank you. You've really found your look later in life. Well, yes, that's my look. It's merchandise from Disney plus sci-fi shows. Yes. That's where I look at my most relaxed.

I think that's what I'm after. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Yeah, so I was talking about the Varsity. You guys, you don't know what a Varsity is. How could we describe it?

It's one of those jackets you see in things like Happy Days with different coloured sleeves. Well, that was a baseball jacket as well. That's specifically. It's the jacket of the bully. Oh, do you associate it with the bully? Oh, do you? I've got a lovely New York Mets varsity,

and I try not to bully anymore. In a lot of fiction, American high school fiction, the kind of arrogant quarterback will be striding the halls. Biff. Biff, exactly. Biff's always in his varsity jacket. No, I know what you mean. Big white sleeves.

That's a fair point. I met a Canadian woman who had a great varsity jacket no i know what you mean big white sleeves point i uh i met a canadian um woman who had a great uh varsity jacket on but it had canada on the back you know canadians quite happy to have yes the name on the back um and she told me a story that she'd bought it from a charity shop in canada and then she was on the tube in London and a woman said oh I love your jacket and a fellow Canadian she said I I oh I I ache for your jacket I had a jacket exactly like that my family used to nag me for wearing it all the time and in the end they put it into a charity shop in wherever it was, Winnipeg. Yeah.

And she said, oh, I got it from a charity shop. And it was the same jacket. Oh, my God. It was the same jacket and travelled across the world. That's insane. And it reminded me of a slightly less warm-hearted story of me and a mate. Gather round the fireside, everyone. Me and a mate drove out into the countryside. He just said, let's drive into the countryside and have a drink.

This was in the days when I think that was legal. And we went to a pub and we got a pint, sat down, and I said, oh, God, you'd never believe who's over there. It's... and then, Mr. X. And then I said, oh, no, don't look, because he's with Blah Blah's wife. So it was a friend of ours with another friend of ours, and it's his wife, so the two of them were together.

And I said, shall we go over and say, you know, four, small world. And he said, no, we've got to get out of here. My mate said, we've got to get out of here fast. A bloke like him, if he knows we've seen them together, he might feel he has to kill us. I remember drinking our pints really fast. Obviously, we didn't leave them.

It was one of your lives you were afraid of. But he might be just confronted with the fact, I'm going to have to, you know... I've been mad at these two men, I know. Yeah, we're out in the country as well where killing for convenience is probably a commonplace. I wouldn't be surprised. Good morning, all our listeners in the country.

I do apologise. Sorry about that. Was that too dark for breakfast? Yeah! Too dark for breakfast! Yes, but was I just thinking about, you know, coincidences? That's all.

And killings. It's not quite the same as the Vastie Jacket story, but you can see how one might emanate from what I believe they call tother. Oh, I got some nice birthday gifts. Oh, yeah, I was going to ask what you all was like. I've never had one of these before and I've lived a long time. I was bought a hood ornament. Sorry?

You know, a hood ornament. Are you familiar with that? What, for the car? Yeah. So you can have a sort of intimidating arrival. Yeah, exactly. Hang on, where does your ornament go? I saw Jerry Lee Lewis arrive

at a theatre in Cheltenham with bull horns on the front of a convertible. Where does it go exactly? You know, a hood ornament, like is it called the spirit of ecstasy or something on the

front of a Rolls Royce? The Rolls Royce, yes. The lady. And the VW sign, which, as we know, were stolen a lot by the rapper bands. But you occasionally see a VW hood ornament, you know, a raised one, but often they're set in there, aren't they? But I don't think I'm going to actually mount it. I don't know what the legal implications are for a hood ornament. I wouldn't mount it. If don't know what the legal implications are for a hood ornament. I wouldn't mount it.

If you hit anyone. Well, it's Wile E. Coyote, who has long been a significant figure in my life, you know, from the Roadrunner movies. Why has Wile E. Coyote been so significant to you? Well, I've got a cuddly, if you can

have a cuddly Wile E. Coyote, and I've got a cuddly, if you can have a cuddly, wily coyote, and I've got a little one on my desk always, because I've always been, this is genuine, I've been inspired by that never ever give up thing of keep pursuing your goal. And your love of TNT

and catapults. Yeah, well I don't involve, it's not quite that literal. But yeah, it's not quite that literal. But, yeah, it's, I got a T-shirt as well for my birthday with Wiley Coyote on.

Would you ever watch his oeuvre? Oh, God, I've watched hours and hours. Really? Yeah, I've got like, well, VHS's originally

and then DVDs. I could just watch it all night. You get a bracelet that says WWWCD, what would Wile E. Coyote do? That's a great idea. Maybe next birthday. You can start work on that now if there's any jewellers listening.

Maybe H Samuel tunes into this. I'm guessing H is no longer with us. Is Coyote the surname then? Yeah, W.E. Coyote. I always like the idea of people getting, like Meatloaf getting letters to Mr. M. Loaf. Is he a coyote? Yes.

Well, I don't know these cartoon people. It never makes sense. Yes, he's in constant pursuit of a roadrunner. Oh, he's Roadrunner's nemesis. And I actually go on stage to Roadrunner by Jonathan Richman. So, you know, so there. I'll tell you what I did have, though. I had a couple of dog gifts for my birthday.

This is a new phenomenon for me. It's my birthday and I got gifts for my dog. Ah, so not dog gifts from your dog. No, nothing from my dog do you get dog themed gifts I've I may I draw your attention to my socks this morning oh yes I've got dog yeah but I'm on about gifts for my dog on my birthday does that make any sense like that I mean the radio family gave me a chewy Vladimir Putin which I assume was for the dog. What you assume incorrectly.

Yeah. And someone gave me, my in-laws gave me a dog frisbee. You know, it's one of my life's ambitions. It's in my bucket list to see a dog take a frisbee out the air. I've never seen that live. I've looked at it on YouTube. It's a really spectacular and impressive moment of beauty. But something went wrong with the frisbee thing.

I'll probably post the picture just very quickly. The dog doesn't know how to hold a frisbee, our dog. And the dog, it's one of those frisbees, like a donut with a hole in the middle. And it held it on the inside instead of the outside. So the dog's face, you know those old early animations with the man in the moon? Yes. With the grinning face. It looked like, yeah, that's what she looks like.

She looks like the man in the moon. I'll put a picture up. We just walked along everyone we passed was just really guffawing and laughing. So I suppose it was a nice give for me as well in that respect. Just the sound of laughter

albeit someone else's. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. I have important news. I have been travelling, I've been doing some gigs recently and with Omar, who you remember was toured with me and Pierre before at length and will, God willing, be touring with us soon. Lovely chap.

And in fact, will be with us at the Gielgud Theatre in Shaftesbury Avenue starting on Monday. Will he wear his special red shoes? He had his pink docks on, of course.

I think that a shooty G gatwar a slightly stolen omars look but anyway so um he said oh i um i heard i heard you on the radio talking about um the theater in hastings now in case case you are not regular listeners or you just have short-term memory loss through drink, or if you're someone who is inclined to chase Sweet Lady H, I would remind you that I got a list of the gigs we were doing on tour, Pierre and I, and at Hastings, a white rock theatre, the capacity was 1,066. Yeah. And I was taken aback that it was basically

1066 at Hastings. And as we said, couldn't be a coincidence. we asked for help on this information nothing so um it turns out that omar recently um marshalled a gig at um at that same theater when you say marshalled you're making him sound slightly jobs worth like a Ivy in Ivy's jacket with Marshall on the back. Yeah. And he's not like that. Air traffic controller paddles. But anyway, it was remarked upon that the capacity was 10.66. And the guy who worked there said, well, we did a refurb. And when we'd finished the refurb the capacity was 10 72 he said and um we thought oh it's just close enough so we took six seats out to make it 10 66 so when i applied there i'll be

paying um for that joke in the ten tickets I don't six tickets I can never sell. And you know what? I'm happy to do that. Yeah. For that joke. It's worth it. I think it's a good sacrifice. It's impressive from them. Yeah. As an institution they think no we'd rather make a bit less

every year. Yeah. We'd rather make a bit less than have that ten sixty sixty. No I like that. Anyone who chases the joke, regardless of material benefit, is fine by me. Yeah. You bet your sweet bippy. I'm doing a gig tonight in Maidenhead.

Leave it! And I'm going to have to take the dog. Are you? Yeah. I've never taken the dog to a gig before. And Omar said to me, do you think she'll be all right on a lead in the wings? And I thought, I hope she's not frightened by laughter, I thought.

Or she may die. What about bringing her on stage? Oh, no, I don't want to go. It's a bit schnall bits. It is schnall bits. It's a bit schnall bits. People who include... How dare you?

Yeah, it's exciting. And can I say, Ray has been on stage. I didn't elect to bring him on stage. I was interviewing someone and they said, well, you've got your dog in the dressing room. Shall we bring your dog on stage? Well, that's a bit cheeky. Well, what's he getting paid?

That's what I want to know. Yeah, exactly. And they might be alarmed by a large crowd. Oh, no, they love it, Frank. They do love it. But I know what you mean. You've got to be careful. There is something of the schnall bits about it,

especially when they say, and now we all know who the real star is. Yeah, and also, you know, when you're halfway through the gig and you think, I didn't actually leave any water in the dressing room. I left the gas on in the dressing room. So, yeah, I'm hoping it's going to be all right. And drive back at one in the morning with the dog's head out the window,

absolutely freezing. And when you have the windows open, something happens to your eardrums when you're on the motorway. It's like a torture. I look in the wing mirror and there's the dog's face, the G-force pushing back its ears and eyes, loving it for some weird reason. Anyway, I've got all that to look forward to.

Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. Anna Banana, one of our regulars, who you may be familiar with her work, has got in touch. We put a lovely picture of your poppy. Our poppy. Do you refer to her as our poppy?

I always call her the dog. I rarely use her name you do interesting if we get another dog then obviously I'll have to start naming them

dog one dog two yes Anna Banana has got in touch there is an annual canine

frisbee disc world championship she tells us and she goes on to tell us that border collies are the most common winners. I wonder why that is. Are they like sheepdogs?

They're one of the most intelligent dogs. Are they? They're good sheepdogs, very smart. You shouldn't have one if you're not going to give it things to do or it'll chew your house to pieces. That rules us out, Frank. But catching a frisbee doesn't require any great intelligence, does it?

I know I've seen human beings catch it who I wouldn't want to share a long car journey with. But in your mouth, that's a whole other ball game. Well, I've really tried to get her to do it but I think it's a bit sturdy and I think she's worried quite rightly. Maybe she's too smart to catch it, just I think it's a bit sturdy. And I think she's worried quite rightly. Maybe she's too

smart to catch it and just smash her teeth out. Well, imagine Ray trying to cope with one of those. No, let's just take him off the ground. He'd be like a baby Yoda in the Mandalorian. Covering him up. You'd just see him disappear over the horizon.

Exactly, yeah. Right, come on. Like a kid in a life ring. Just up into the sky like an alien. I've never seen any dog catch one live. I mean, it doesn't have to be my dog. It's not all me, me, me with the dog catching Frisbee scenario. Would you be as happy if the dog caught it almost by sort of catching up to it and biting it as it moved away from the dog? Over its shoulder, I'd be as happy if the dog caught it almost by sort of catching up to it

and biting it as it moved away from the dog? Over its shoulder, I'd be more happy. Not over its shoulder, it's almost chasing it. Do they have shoulders, dogs? Age 12, 15. We must have some vets. Do you think we have vets listening? Oh, definitely.

What else are they doing? They're quite busy. Frank, do you prefer doctors or vets? Well, the vets that i've known um the first my initial experience a new box yeah exactly uh the ones down the road from me uh um there's my regular vet now and he's quite a nice guy i really like that i like him yeah they've got it all hopkins i he might be South African, possibly. It's very common. Is it really?

Yeah, we seem to be vets, dentists, personal trainers and mercenaries. Those are the four jobs. They're a physical race. I had a personal South African personal, if I could call her a personal trainer, I saw her once a week. Does that still make her personal? Depends what's going on.

But she rowled her raws like that. Oh, she would have been off to Gantz. Hopkins has got in touch and says Poppy looks like she's on the way to Cardiff to watch Wales v Scotland and the Six Nations. They wear big dandelion hats.

Don't they wear daffodils to Welsh? Daffodils, yeah. Yeah, okay. And it goes around their head almost exactly like that. Oh, I see. She does look like a whale supporter.

Yeah, I've seen this. There's pictures, we should have put them up side by side. There's pictures of Peter Gabriel on stage when he used to have like a big flower

petal figure added. Yes, yeah. Would look quite like my dog carrying a frisbee. Some people stopped and said what happened as if it was like a version of it looks a bit cone of shame

the cone yeah most people just laughed do have a look we put the picture online I mean it's pretty comical I gotta say and slightly conical and it's often, it's not that often the two are combined.

I'm very happy with that. I'm happy to go out on that and I'm just going to bask. Happily, I am wearing one. This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli.

Text us show on 812... Oh, no, I didn't like my 12. Can I do that again, Roger? 81215. Follow us on X and Instagram at frankontheradio. Email via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. Frank, our readers have been enjoying the photograph of Poppy with Frisbee.

And we've also had some, well, this is in from Amanda. This is Amanda in Reading. Re-Frisbee dog. Amanda Reddington? No. Oh. And I like any communication that begins re-Frisbee dog. Yeah.

Years ago, at an American football game in LA, the halftime... Tighter. Tighter. Just because somebody's been to LA. The halftime entertainment was none other than a dog brought on to catch a Frisbee thrown 100 yards. When he caught it...

Imagine the velocity at 100 yards. Yeah. When he caught it mid- velocity at 100 yards when he caught it midair the pa announcer shouted frisbee dog and the entire stadium erupted yeah i hope they all shouted frisbee dog and didn't just cheer was it a bc bc border collie. Oh, we're going BC now. And we've also heard from Biff. What, Biff of Diversity Jacket? Biff himself.

He's texted, I'm going to meet you outside, nerds. So we'd better stay in the studio until they go off. We would very much. Stay close to Pierre. Man Mountain. Would we have been in Greece, for example? Would we have been friends with Eugene and his gang? Or would we have been...

None of us are T-Birds or Pink Ladies, let's be honest. No. I think you might have been. You know, I would have been the one who was clinging on with her fingertips. You know, the slightly unfortunate-looking one with the jacket. I would have been her. Yeah, I think I would have been the one in the dickie bow

getting shoved around. Well, biff has got in touch hi frank emily and pierre i am the original biff as my given name is simon biffin oh first time i ever walked into a school aged four i was greeted this was in 1969 i was greeted by 20 children shouting Biffo the Bear. Right, oh, that dates it a bit. Biffo the Bear. Unless he was wearing, like, short red trousers with, like, the red braces fitted in, like Biffo used to wear.

I went home in tears. Biffo, in case you don't know, was the cover star of The Beano before Dennis the Menace hogged that job. In the days when you had a bear in Dongarees as a cover star. And the original one, you'll remember, who was Eggo, who was an ostrich, who I read some research on Eggo,

and he said he was removed because research at the Beano suggested their viewers preferred a humanoid figure on the cover. Very scientific approach. Yes, they went, Biffo the Bear was a bear, but he, you know, he was very humanoid. I don't know what they meant by him. He looked like there might have been

a very dark forest liaison between a human and someone who was her sign. He was under the illusion. He fantasised that he was a human, let's be honest. He appropriated the human lifestyle. I wouldn't want to be there when they handed him his notice. Who, Biffa?

Yeah, Biffa. We're moving in an even more humanoid direction. Yeah, and then he tore their faces off. Get the darts just in his neck. Oh, poor Biffo. Poor Biffo. Anyway, Biff continues. Imagine the moment when he took the red trousers with braces off

and thought, well, I won't be needing these anymore. Oh, Biffo. Sadly cast aside at the forest entrance. And, you know, not welcome. No. Oh, no. Not accepted in any community. And, you know, not welcome. No. Not accepted in any community. In either community. No, terrible.

He can't walk it, wander around with the bears in the red trousers. No. At a time as well when accepting difference wasn't such a catch word as it is now. And all the bears sick of his stories. Yeah, exactly. I know you were in the Beano, Biffo. Yeah. No, just do it here.

We do it here. You don't have to find it. I know their words. That's the point. Biff continues, I went home in tears after being called Biffo the Bear,

only to be told by my father, you've got a comedy surname. Get used to it. Oh, that's good advice. I thought you'd like the father.

Yeah, obviously the father had probably been, Biffo had been around so long, his dad had probably had that as well. And then he ends by saying, the nickname followed me forever. Even the teachers called me Biff. He then says, was I a bully though? Well, it was

the 70s. Okay. Okay, Biffo. Biffo the bully. Also, let's I a bully though? Well, it was the 70s. Okay. Okay, Biffo. Biffo the bully. Also, let's not confuse Biffo the bear with Biff the bully in American comics. Biffo the bear was a docile figure. Was he? Domesticated.

Yeah, helpful and kind. Well, he was when he was humanised, but we don't know what he was like when he got back in the woods. He went wild. When he reverted to the wild, half a second. Yeah, Biffo goes feral. That would have been a good anniversary story. Checking in. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio.

Frank, you're a big fan. Well, we're a big fan of new vocabulary on this show. Oh, yeah. We did Riz as Word of the Year last year. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Which meant, which is short for charisma, and I think it means sort of pulling power.

Mm. You Riz people up. Yeah. Do you know, I've been saving so much time since I started using Riz instead of charisma. Yeah, me too. I've done so much with all that extra time i like the idea that vladimir putin has got reason that these are lost known as risk putin that made me happy yes so yes um we need to um always remember the young the younger always with us and they know develop their own

language and i find it with my own child that he says things like some that have been around so long now they're sort of established but i still find it a bit odd when he says oh that's sick and i think oh i don't know it right. Well, apparently there has never been such a separation, between the generations, language-wise. That's healthy, though, I think. There was some reporting on the 20 Gen Z slang words that you should master. Yes.

Frank, if you want to make yourself understood to these. When I speak to the youth. when you speak to the youths yeah yeah i don't speak to many youths um but um i i yeah i'm interested in it i um last week um daisy who was a former producer of this show came along to visit me on my birthday day and um we're walking down the road and I was asking about her about her kids and she said oh yeah he's he's got you know he's so grown up now he's um he he's got he has a skin fade and I said uh that rings a bell skin skin fade. She said, yeah, it's, you know, hair that's really, really short at the sides. And then she started looking at me and going, I mean, young people, that's how they like their hair, really short.

She kept looking at me and my haircut. And then I remembered where I'd seen the term skin fade before, and it was on the till when I paid at the barber's. So I'd accidentally got a skin fade, because I always call it, as you know, 20s East European novelist haircut. Is that what you ask for when you go in? Well, no, I show them a picture of when I had...

Remember when I went to to edinburgh and the woman gave me a really good you could see all the skin on the sides of my head and she and a man in there said he's a famous magician and then she asked me about magic i just went along with it because i couldn't be bothered to explain the difference it's your magician haircut yeah exactly yeah anyway so that's that was a new one, a skin fade. I like it if you could only ask for haircuts that had to be a novelist or a writer. Yeah. So in your case, I think sometimes you go for W.H. Auden.

You have in the past sometimes. Yeah. OK? Not a novelist as such, but a poet indeed. No, a poet, I'm sorry. A literary figure, I should say. But you're right, that harsher one was much more fled Hungary. Yes, it is.

Exactly. Exactly. That's not the name of someone before you Google it. So, yes, we're going to explore some of these words. Yes. I'm excited about it. But, you know, we've got other business. We're a commercial radio station.

We have, you know, we've got other business. We're a commercial radio station. We have, you know, we have things. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Can we please discuss this whole slang area? Yeah. Because it's specifically, it's foreign students or students learning English as a foreign language, we should say. Yeah. Because it's specifically, it's foreign students or students learning English as a foreign language, we should say. Yeah. They have been struggling.

This is what I was reading. With youth speak. Well, specifically youth speak, because they're getting all these phrases from TikTok. Yeah. Like I was watching the Teen Titans animation, remember that, and picked up No Woe. No Woe?

For No Worries. No Worries. No Woe. Hey, No Woe. And I thought they were using it on there, like robbing the boy wonder. And I thought, oh, everybody must use that now. So I dropped in a few No Woes in conversation. People just looked at me blankly.

It sounds quite Aussie. Yeah, you'd think so. No, wow. Yeah. No drama. They like no drama. No drama. That's one of Russell Crowe's favourites.

No drama. It's all right. No drama. So they have said... Never said in your house, I wouldn't have thought. Never. Lots of drama. I wouldn't have thought. Never.

Lots of drama. They've said, I think it's 70% of overseas students are having to ask teachers to explain the following phrases, or words, we should say. So, word number one, these are sort of Gen Z words, beef. Familiar with that, Frank? I'm familiar with beef, certainly. But, yeah, it just...

I said that quite an old one. It's when you've had an argument, you've got beef with somebody. I think that uses... goes back quite a way. Yeah. I've heard people use it as a verb. Who are you beefing with? Oh, OK. Who are you currently arguing with?

My own business. Yeah, exactly. That's what I say to that. OK, Frank. NPC. What about beef? Oh, that. Yeah. Okay, Frank. NPC. What about Beef-O-The-Bear, the very argumentative comic character? All right, Beef-O-The-Bear.

Beef-O-The-Bear. I will say, in the break, I looked up Biff-O-The-Bear and terrified me. Beef-O, remember, not Biff-O. I thought you said Beef-O-The-Bear. Or Beef-O-The-Bear. Some terrible... A Scottish version, Beef-O-The-Bear. And terrifying. Bifo, remember, not Bifur. I thought you said Bifur the bear. Or Bifor the bear. Some terrible... A Scottish version, Bifor the bear.

Some terrible evolutionary missing link. Some gloopy, plasmoid creature. What did you think of Bifor the bear? He looks horrifying. Oh, you're joking. He's got tiny human teeth. And a long head. Why did we never question the fact that he had big old veneers? He's got tiny human teeth and a long head. Why did we never question the fact that he had big old veneers?

He's got a long, thin body. He's got a long body as well. Long, thin body. Yeah, but don't body shame him. I didn't really understand interspecies relationships in those days. Well, I still don't. Oh, OK. OK, well, luckily we've got a break now.

I'll explain. I'll explain them to you. You see, this bloke's all a monkey. We've been discussing... What were we talking about just now? Beef? Beef, yeah. I think maybe they're a bit unjustified

in saying having beef with someone is Gen Z slang. Yeah, exactly. But maybe the verb beefing with someone, that's younger. Some of these, I felt, and as our youth correspondent slash medieval Norse mythology correspondent perhaps you can

put us straight on this. They had Peng on this list, Frank. Now, I thought Peng was a bit dated. I thought it was a bit like saying Gordon Bennett or something. I'd never heard of Peng before. Oh, I thought it was a bit dated i thought it was a bit like saying gordon bennett or something i'd never heard of peng before oh i thought it was a bit six years ago peng's around yeah do they still use it um i think so yeah i have to i have to tell you something about peng i've never seen it so i thought oh i'll look this up so i went on you know the online urban dictionary. Yes. And you get these terms and you get

an example of them in use. So I looked up peng and it says peng means good. For example, then it gives you an example sentence. Bro, this nectarine galette is peng.

What? This is an example. Bro, this nectarine galette is peng. I thought, what? This is an exam? I've got to look up lots of other stuff in this now. That's really funny. How are you going to use that, Frank? Galette? I didn't know what a galette was either. You had to look that up.

Yeah. It was just the same example sentence. It's like a fruit tart. Yeah. Bro, this nectarine galette is peng. No one's ever said that. That's great. Galette peng.

I think some of this, also, like, this list is not, yeah, there's a few millennial terms in there and stuff, like peng, but also it's very London-centric. Also, galette peng, it sounds very the kind of person we'd see in one of those Daily Mail articles going out with Timothee Chalamet or whatever, dating New Young Star Galette Peng. Galette Peng pawed herself with her tracksuit. Showing Timothee Chalamet what he's missing. So also on this list, Frank and Pierre, was NPC.

Yes. This is a harder one to... Frank? Well, yes. Now, I, again, I investigated this. I'm not a gamer. No. But I have...

But then again, no. I am... Yeah. But I am a big fan of the Jumanji films, as I think I may have mentioned on here before, the modern iteration. Do you like Jumanji? Oh, yeah, with the rock.

Yeah. Yeah. Would you still watch that on your own and things? No, they're brilliant films. Nevertheless, there is a character in them who comes and talks to them and just says the same things over and over again, regardless of how they reply. Yes.

And so I worked out this is the thing that you get in games. Someone who just, you don't operate them, they just come and do their thing. And I realised that that is, I think it's called a non-playable character. Yes, yes. Which we've all seen in Amdram. Some of us have been, dear. So I looked it up. It said people who don't think for themselves

or just think what they're programmed to think, or as I personally call them, almost everyone. Well, that's exactly what the slang term was made to describe, was this idea of like sheeple. Yeah, sheeple is good as well. I don't know that one.

It comes from the conspiracy theorists. They love to accuse people who don't believe that the Earth is hollow. I've gone off it already. The aliens. Yeah. How do you explain crop circles, sheeple? If you're an NPC, you just accept things. Follow the crowd.

So, hang on, would NPC... This is what's worrying me. I want to know it's being used by people I like and respect. Is it a bit people in studios, oppressive podcast studios with black T-shirts? It started like that and now it has escaped that cage and has become a general disparaging term for people to use. Okay.

Well, it's all very educational for me, I must say. But as I also always say, we're doing a commercial station job. We have to, you know, there are housekeeping elements. Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute radio. Absolute radio. housekeeping elements. Just to give you a little brief insight into the kind of conversations we had off air. Should we do that?

I think we're allowed. Okay. Well, if you'd prefer not to. No, no, go for it. No, I will just... Frank just went, oh, directors. No, there was...

When I was growing up watching films television things who cared who the director was now that's who they talk about some bloke behind the other side of the camera i just wanted to know i didn't know the names of most the actors i just like you know just want to watch the story yeah now it's all the directors that says this and the director. It's like producers in music. Who were they? You knew George Martin and that was it. And now it's like the core. Yeah, I'm also a producer.

What do you want to do that for? You're going into show business and now you're doing like that? Bread and butter jobs. It's similar to when we... Was it the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire drama was on? Yes. Oh, yeah. And Frank's reviewers, he said,

yeah, but I don't like suddenly there were like, you know, roles for all these behind the scenes people. I don't want them being featured. Well, that's why they've gone behind the scenes because they don't want that. They don't want the light, the limelight. That's not what it's for. Don't they, though?

Well, if they do, then, you know then it is a prison of their own making. Meanwhile, over at the Teach English in a Foreign Language School... Oh, yes. You used to get people approaching you all the time with that. Yeah. Yeah, they don't anymore. We've discussed some of these words. Beef. Peng. Yeah. Yeah, if you don't anymore. We've discussed some of these words. Beef, peng.

NPC. Not for a character. What about drip? Drip, yes, for fashion or dress sense. Would you use that, Frank? Well, I remember the craze of the drip-dry shirt, which used to wash it. Oh, and ronnie you would hang it up and um it would come out you know how um if you just hang up something to dry in the normal

garment they come out like they've got a bit of cellulite the shirt comes out a bit cellular a bit slightly sort of slightly crinkly. Yes, yeah. But the drip dry shirt, it looks like it's been ironed once it's dry. It's absolutely perfect. And it was a revolution. I thought this is it now. This is what shirts will be like forever. But then they've sort of disappeared.

So I wonder if drip is somehow tied to that. Nice drip. That phenomenon. Etymology. Yeah. I would like it if some kind of South London rapper was

in a drip dry shirt saw from the drip dry shirt era that's why yeah it was for people who didn't have time to iron

you know they were they were selling encyclopedias door to door they didn't have time to iron

but they had time to watch a shirt drip itself dry no but you you did it before you went to sleep or when you woke up. It's like ghosts had ironed it in the night.

Well, they iron their sheets. How often do you have to clean? They're very smooth, the sheets that the ghosts wear. What, the ghost sheets? Yeah, you've never seen a folded square in the ghost sheet. That would be a very new ghost. Box fresh ghost. Box fresh ghost.

Box fresh ghost. And you know, they never get those curling hems, the ghost. No. Exactly. The tumble dry,

the tumble dry curling hem on the sheet. Interrupting a ghost to say you should wash that first and then. Yeah. Vladimir died yesterday.

Can you smell, can you smell Lenore? Oh, Vladimir died yesterday. Can you smell... Can you smell Lenore? Oh, here he comes. Like in The Raven. Yeah, they must... But they don't seem to get really dirty. There must be a laundry, a ghost laundry. That's why they float off the ground,

because it's a white sheet, and if you drag it along... Oh, they don't always float off the ground, though, do they Pierre? Because what do ghosties wear on their feeties, Frank? What? Trainers. Reebok trainers. They wear little Reebok trainers. You think passing through a wall

you're going to pick up some debris? Yeah. Yeah. Are ghosts clean? Do they shower and things? No. They'd have to worry about these things. No, no. I imagine they smell of sulphur. most of them. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner, by the way,

on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. You can text the show on 812 15, follow us on X and Instagram at Frank on the Radio, 12, 15, follow us on X and Instagram at frankontheradio. Email via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. That's lovely. We're a bit under Milt Wood at the end. I love that.

Frank, we were talking about slang. Yes. And trying to be a bit cool using it. Well, spike for yourself. I always do. And we've had this in from MJ and MJM is the full title.

I won't explore what's going on there. But MJM says at work a 21 year old referred to being skint due to cosy lives. That's cosy lives. OK. Do you know what that is, Frank? No.

Cost of living crisis, is that right? Yes, yeah. Oh. I had to ask what that meant. Cosy lives. Yeah. And they confirmed cost of living. I've never felt the generational gap so much. I'm 38.

Yeah. That seems to come from the same room. Do you remember platy jubes? Yes. Very platy jubes. For the platinum jubilee. That seems to come from the same room. Do you remember Platy Jubes? Yes. Very Platy Jubes. For the Platinum Jubilee. That's it, yeah. By the way, can you just trim that bit where I say I'm 38

and just put that out separately? OK? But it is quite fun if someone invites you to do something. You can shrug and say, cos he lives. Yeah. I don't think anyone's going to buy it from me. But, you know, worth a try, I suppose. Well, that's true.

You know. They might think it's something to do with my swimming attire. We've also got this news just in from Richard. Richard has adopted two new guinea pigs. I've had a message from Richard. He says, now it's the winter of our discontent, mate. Due to the cause he lives. Richard,

who's adopted two guinea pigs. Oh God, I thought you were going to say Richard who's adopted. I thought, don't read that bit out. He might not want you

to read that bit out. Why has he put it in brands then? From Pets at Home. Okay. And they, these guinea pigs, they are called Dave and Frank. Oh, right. Should be Frank and Dave. But Pets at Home have confirmed, Frank,

that these guinea pigs were named in honour of you two. That's very nice. They need to sit so that Dave is on the left of screen when you look at them. Is that right? Yeah, that was the deal that we had. Oh, you had to hand some decking? Yeah, a lot of people have a regular. And we found

ourselves lapsing into it. I'd go around his house, sit down, and we'd find we were just sitting in the right order. Muscle memory. Yeah, I've no idea what the right-hand side of him looks like. Now, we had some previously during the week, Frank.

Oh, yes. It regards the tour that you and I are on slash will be on. Yes, as I like to call it, Francis de la Tour. Oh, lovely. Who's your favourite Francis? Francis de la Tour. Oh, lovely. It's the name of an actress. Who's your favourite Francis?

Of Assisi. But what spelling? Are we talking male? You can go with your spelling. I just want to know who your favourite Francis is. I think probably Francis Matthews, who's an actor who I think played... What was the name of the... Paul Temple, the detective. Oh, we were talking about detectives only the other week.

Yes, our favourite detectives. Mine totally Columbo, but there was some... Mine was Rockford Files, I think, probably. Oh, James Garner. Well, just because at the time, I thought it was so... The height of sophistication that he had an answer machine. Yeah, he did. And also, I think there was quite a lot of synth in his... Oh, he had a lot of synth.

In his theme tune. If you look back, Frank, I don't know how practical the answer machine for a detective is. Hi, the murderer is outside. Could you please call me back? But it really was the answering machine. When did it go out? In the 80s? Yeah, early 80s maybe. The answering machine was a bit like people, what do they call the thing in Star Trek when you get into the thing and disappear and go somewhere else? The airlock. No, what's

it called, though? The transporter. Yeah, so it was like that, the answer machine. It's had a similar impact. People think, oh my goodness! A machine with answers. You have captured someone's voice! There's a little man in my phone. Yeah, and it was

the big gimmick of the show was that the detective had an answer machine. Well, I'm definitely going to be using him. Yeah, because you can call him and even if he's not in, you can still hear his voice. Come on. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio.

Regarding a contact we'd had during the week about our tour, our touring together. Yeah. It's from Julie in Chelmsford. And she says, I didn't know Pierre's name. And when they introduced him as the warm-up, I thought they said Piano Billy. Piano Billy?

Yeah. That'd be great, wouldn't it? Me, Piano Billy. Here he is. Didd, wouldn't it? Me, Piano Billy. Here he is. Diddle-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de. He plays with his feet for the finale. Well, don't be Piano Billy. Piano Billy.

She really says... I'd go and see Piano Billy. Do you think Piano Billy... And definitely dungarees. Oh, yeah. Piano Billy would I would say, do you think Piano Billy, and definitely Dungarees. Oh, yeah. Piano Billy would have a lot of bare feet. I think every Piano Billy concert ends with someone being punched through

a clearly sawn through bit of banister. Yeah. And sort of falling into a table of cards. I am coming to see you both at the Gilgud, and I'm worried that I've said, oh, yeah, it's Frank with Piano Billy. With Piano Billy. That's how I think my friends have read it.

Have heard it. Yeah. They'll be turning up in Wild West themed outfits. Totally inappropriate. Wearing irons. With Billy Ray Cyrus hair. Yeah. Ready to shoot through the ceiling in glee.

Julie says, I was waiting through his jokes to play the piano Victoria Wood style. Oh, I see. Isn't the fact there wasn't a piano on stage a hint that that wasn't going to happen? Well, that's part of the showmanship. That never stops piano Billy.

No, it's part of piano Billy's showmanship is the piano descends from the ceiling. Oh, I thought the curtains open and it's a Wild West saloon. Yeah, people playing with their hands really high in the air. Yeah. I asked my husband why, so she at some point duly leaned across to her husband

and said, why do they call him Piano Billy? Just you wait. Just you wait, Piano Billy. You'll see why. It's right what they say, sometimes the mistakes are better than the real thing.

They are. Also, I like, I like why do they call him. As though I, and when I, when they, As though it had been imposed on you,

that nickname. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, if Sheriff Lewis calls you Piano Billy, you're Piano Billy. Yeah, if Sheriff Lewis calls you Piano Billy, you're Piano Billy.

Now, we've had a lot of vets in touch with us. Oh, yeah. Which can only be a good thing. I love me a vet. Do you? Yeah. Do you not? Yeah, I like a vet.

Okay, good to know. Hello, definitely one vet. Unless they keep going on about Vietnam and how they were. They didn't get proper respect when they came home. Anyway, go on. Definitely... I'm still reeling from that.

Definitely one vet listening today. Yes, dogs do have shoulders. Oh. But they do not have clavicles. That's the collarbone. The jossy out bone. Not on everyone. Some have a have clavicles. That's the collarbone, the jossy out bone. Not on everyone. Some have a disappearing clavicle.

I have a very prominent clavicle. You're proud of your clavicle. Do you know, she just made the other two ladies on the team show their clavicles to show that she... We got our clavicles out. It's the bone that goes across the top. It's a collarbone. Yeah, it's like a straight bone across the top of the ribcage.

You could use it, actually, for your dry shirts. You were at a bus stop for a long time. Just hook the old coat hanger on your clavicle. I made the other ladies get their clavicles out. You did. I've never been so embarrassed in my life as exposure of clavicles in this day and age. The disappearing clavicle sounds like a piano billy trick that he does to end the first half. Yeah, it sounds like something written by Bach, the disappearing clavicle.

Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Yes. Come on, it's quiet. It will be noisy soon. We were discussing, well, speaking of sources of sudden noise, we discussed Jedward last week. Oh, yes. The haunting pair of Irish child men.

I don't know how it came about, the discussion of Jedward. No. You love a bit of Jedward. No. You love a bit of Jedward action, don't you? In much the same way as no one knows how they came about. Well, you're being very harsh.

I said, I think, whenever I picture them, they're always leapfrogging. Yeah. That's what they seem like. They seem like japesters. And giggling. Yeah.

Yes. And they're wearing shoes with points that curl. Yeah, maybe. But you'd be happy, for example, if Buzz brought them home as friends. I'd be surprised if he brought them home as friends. Well, they're a bit old for Buzz. Where do they meet?

I think it might be a hair raising experience. But they're perennially young, these types, aren't they? Anyway, what's your info? What's your point? What's your gen? Jake's got in touch about Jedward. Okay, Jake. Jake. Hello, Frank, Emily and Pierre. You asked last week if anyone

knew what Jedward were up to these days. We were wondering about where they were now. I was working on Stand Up to Cancer last November and had been tasked with the daunting job of looking after the GC. Oh, yes. Gemma Collins. Can I just say I love the GC.

I thought you meant George Chakiris, who was in West Side Story. But carry on. It won't come as a surprise to learn that she was a bit late arriving at the Francis Crick Institute of Biomedical Science. She's a diva. She's a diva.

Where we were filming the show. I was just not expecting to hear the phrase Francis Crick Institute of Biomedical Science and Jedward in the same context. Apart from experiments. I was staring at the entrance awaiting her arrival, becoming more and more concerned

about the fast-approaching live show. Eventually, I saw her big blonde mane coming through the door, but hers were not the only iconic blonde locks making their way through those doors. I announced to my colleagues, Gemma has arrived, and she's got Jedward with her. Oh, so they weren't on the bill. They would just come with the GC.

They were just with her. They were just with GC. Do you remember they weren't on the bill. They would just come with the GC. They were just with her. They were just with GC. Do you remember the woman from No Doubt used to have two Japanese... Friends to Bonnie. Two Japanese women

who followed her everywhere. She had. I think you'll find they were called the Harajuku girls. Were they? They never really spoke. They just hung around

with her as... Bodyguards. I don't know what they were. That's like me and Pierre. Yeah? Do you wish we wouldn't have spoken? And we dressed the same. Imagine if Pierre... Imagine if Frank made us dress the same Bodyguards. That's like me and Pierre. Yeah. Do you wish we wouldn't speak? And we dress the same.

Imagine if Pierre, imagine if Frank made us dress the same and never speak. Yeah. So is there more to this? Oh, there's more. Yes. There's more.

The boys were not due to appear on the show, so their appearance was unexpected. They walked in ahead of her, one holding her handbag and the other holding her shoes. She came in after them saying, yeah, I've got the boys with me. Like a mum arriving at a party after the babysitter

had cancelled. Do you think they brought her over in a sedan chair? That'd be a thing to see in the street, wouldn't it? Yeah. Like Samuel Pepys era sort of thing. Yeah. The boys were very well behaved and waited patiently for Gemma

to be done. I'm not sure where they went afterwards I've since seen Instagram posts of the three of them in a hot tub singing Last Christmas I love that friendship for them What a way to lose your whamageddon

I don't think it counts if it's a version I don't think it counts, does it, if it's a version? I don't know, but I'm just unpacking the phrase, what a way to lose your Whamageddon. Yes. Anyway, I have something to add to that, but once again, time, tide, and West Midlands Passenger Transport Executive waits for no man.

Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. and West Midlands Passenger Transport Executive waits for no man. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. So I was on Hampstead Heath this week, walking the dog, and I bumped into Ricky Gervais, and we were standing chatting, and a runner went past and went, Hi, hi. And Ricky said, Oh, hello. And I said, Who's that?

And he said, I'm not sure which one, but it's one of Jedward. He said, I see them on here quite often. They live locally. Oh, they do well for themselves. And I thought, God, I hadn't spoke about it. You know that the Bader-Meinhof syndrome? You mention something, and then within a few days it crops up.

But there was actually one of Jedward. I didn't think they could do things separately. No, I wasn't aware of that. They're not joined, if that's what you think. No, but I would have thought it would be like a sort of psychic thing. Like if you separate them too far... Especially one running. Does that mean the other one's letting himself go to seed? That would be like a sort of psychic thing. Like if you separate them too far. Especially one running. Does that mean the other one's letting himself go to seed?

That would ruin it for both of them. Yeah, one gets enormous. They come on, unless they do a lot of 10th birthday celebrations. Come on in silver suits as number balloons. That's the number 10. Or 18. 18 in a tight belt. 18 with a tie.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Also, regarding the knowledge we've been given this morning by vets about dogs not having a collarbone, Anna Banana points out...

Well, they'll eat a collarbone. Well, they said no collarbone. Two words in the dog semantic field, collar andbone. Well, they said no collarbone. Two words in the dog's semantic field. Collar and bone. Oh, true. That is ironic they don't have a collarbone. I do, as I've told everyone this morning. The clavicles were out. That's all I've

got left here, the collarbone. Well, me and Ope, because I've done three gigs this week with no support act for various reasons that I won't go into. They didn't like the sound of Piano Billy. No, we hadn't got a piano. That's what the venue said. We can't have a ruckus in here.

We were driving back from Winchester, me and Pierre, and it was about midnight. Oh, do you know, if I imagine... Not Pierre, Omar, sorry. I was going to say, that's a shame, because Winchester is so Pierre. It is. The home of King Alfred. That's true.

But anyway, we were driving back and it was one of those where you're driving, you're sailing, it's a nice easy journey. And when you come home late at night, every road in England is closed. And you follow diversion signs that suddenly disappear and you're in a country lane. You don't know where you are,, don't know how to get back. And there was all these cars going around like midnight trying to find out what the hell had happened to their lives after the diversion signs. And a guy come and slowed down at the side of us, behind his window down.

And Omar said, all right. And the guy said, do you speak Russian? I thought, that's a shot in the dark, isn't it? Midnight, just outside Winchester. No, we don't speak Russian. What?

And then he said, alright, I can't find the diversion signs. I've been looking everywhere and they've just disappeared. And I thought, what is all... Hang on. What's happened? What's happened here?

I think you owe us an explanation. Exactly. That's what you want to say. You've got some sort of cockney muscovite. But also clearly... Well, that's how the spies get you, Chris. I don't could speak English. Fluent in English. Well, you know, fluent-ish. Spies get you, Chris. I don't could speak English. Fluent in English.

Well, you know, fluent-ish. He was a bit slowish, but the chances of saying, oh, yeah, I speak Russian. If I was a Russian lost in the countryside and the one car I pulled up alongside was also full of Russians, I'll be honest with you, I'd panic. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, we'll never know who that man was

unless he's listening to this. He's probably selling fruit off a stall in St. Petersburg. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Regarding, we chatted briefly about slang. Oh, yeah. And I can vouch for this one from Andy Wood in Bronte country. The word swat was what we used at school, he says, to define a pupil who seemingly knew everything

and was first to put their hand up. Yeah. Nowadays it has evolved. I'm not sure if it has literally evolved, but nowadays you'd call it someone a sweat, as in perspiration, which is employed by my children and their confederates at their schools. I didn't know kids were using it in school, but you use it when someone is online,

if someone is too good at a game. You can call them a sweat. Is the word swat still used? I don't like the idea of being too good at a game. No. Actually, you may not remember this, Pierre, but I was telling you about a man I worked with who used to clean

the lathes with tricoethylene. That was part of his job. Then he took to keeping tricoethylene on a rag in his pocket and just inhaling it occasionally. So I looked up the effects of it on Wikipedia before Pierre could

just to fact check me and he described trichoethylene on there as a euphoriant which I'm now using on the occupation box on my visa applications do you know you are a lovely little euphoriant yes now Johnny Dodkin Do you know, you are a lovely little euphorian. Yes.

Now, Johnny Dodkin, who's our former tour manager, who we worked with recently, me and Pierre, he says sketchy. Is that a regular word? He said, oh, he looks like a sketchy character over there for some blow walking about late at night. Do you not use sketchy? I've never heard of sketchy before.

Yeah, sketchy. And then I looked at her i have to say quite a an exciting picture of the doctor shooty gatwa in his gymnasium in just a pair of shorts on oh my goodness gracious you loved that didn't you and uh millie gibson his co-star described it as a i think one of them anyway, used the phrase thirst trap, which is something I, again, have never heard of before. Which means what, Pierre? A beguiling photo deliberately uploaded to social media to sort of tease your crush. We've all done it, dear. Or your admirers.

Oh, I see. To lure them in. And you know the concept of being thirsty, obviously. Not literally. I certainly did in the 80s. But thirsty for likes, Frank. Thirsty for likes? No, I don't know that.

Oh. So that's a bit thirsty for likes. Next week, by the way, we go back to the language as we know it. I'm still upset that my attempt at Coolston working for Cool. Oh, man, that's Coolston. Never, that never happened. I really thought that would just become a thing. Did you?

And I'd be in some etymological dictionary as the man who began Colston, yeah. Frank, I would just like to mention this morning, Martin Cheek. Are you familiar with Martin Cheek? Well, Martin Cheek, who sends us some artwork now and again of his own, has sent me a lovely birthday present and it's Growl Tiger's Last Stand and other poems by T.S. Eliot

with pictures by Errol Le Cain and the illustrations, I have to say, are fabuloso. Yes. And Martin Cheek is one of our regulars who I refer to as the rude mechanical. Yes, because he does sound like someone. He does sound like he appeared alongside Bottom.

Yeah, from Midsummer Night's Dream. Martin Cheek next to Bottom. Martin Cheek has also said, which I like this, he's added to the Do You Know Vanessa May? Thanks for the tip. He says, Do you know

Danielle Steele's books? Do you know Danielle Steele's books? Oh, but isn't it... Do you know Danielle Steele's books? He said. Oh, I see. Okay. Very, very, very clever. Okay.

I thought you'd be happy with that. Anyway, look, Sarah Champion is up next. Do listen to her on my poetry podcast, episode five of series nine, can you believe, which you can download from wherever you get your podcasts. This week, on Wednesday, when it lands, I'm doing A.E. Houseman. It's been a while, the Houseman alarm.

Are you aware of this, B.S., before your time? Whenever A.E. Houseman's mention, well, not just the first time on every show, a siren goes off.

It's an absolute ruling. Yeah. There we go. So, yes, so there you have it. Thank you so much

for listening to this morning and if the good Lord spares us and the creeks don't rise, we'll be back again this time next week. Now get out.