The Frank Skinner Show - Guest: Lee Mack

Episode Date: January 16, 2010

Lee Mack joins Frank, Emily & Gareth and chats darts, touring and celebrity big brother.

I've got about ten seconds to tell you how to get two-for-one tickets for top-drawer comedy nights near you, thanks to our friends at the TV channel Dave, at absoluteradio.co.uk. Also, I've got to tell you about how you can win prizes while you're there, too. I've run out of time, though. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio. Hello, it's the Frank Skinner Absolute Radio podcast with Emily and Gareth. Good morning to you all.

Good morning. It might not be morning to the people who are listening, of course, so that was a stupid thing to say. Just say hello. Yeah, good day. There'll be a day involved. Yeah, so we just did the show. We loved it.

We laughed. We cried. We sang. Did we cry? I cried. Oh okay yeah and um lee mac was on i love lee mac yeah lee mac he's i think one of the funniest men in britain i've always said that well i haven't always said it obviously because i thought you said you were the funniest man in britain oh yeah oh it was me i thought it was lee it was Lee. It was actually me. Yeah. Oh, me, me, me. I think, I suppose in my heart of hearts, I do think I am the funniest man in the world. In fact, the world. I would never say that in public.

But I do honestly believe that. We heard a great story as well. We heard a great story about an incident involving you, the OC and Dave Gorman which I think people will enjoy. Yeah. In case you don't know the OC is Christian O'Connell

who does Absolute Spread. I mean I know you'll all know that I'm sure. But you know there's people listening in there's people

listening in pink I can't speak anymore. I'm just going to semaphore the next bit. Where are my flags? Where's my flags? Could you get me my I mean come on. There'sore the next bit. Where are my flags? Where's my flags? Could you get me my... I mean, come on!

Yes, people listen abroad. Sorry. I was late this morning. You were late. I was late, and I need... You know, we didn't mention it on the show, but I think I need to say something publicly. So I didn't just let you down.

I let the listeners down. Oh. And... Well, you weren't late for the show. You were just late. No, I was late. Well, you weren't late for the show you were just like well but i was late for our preparation oh what i said you never showed up oh oh dear yeah exactly oh dear well i don't know now what we've had we've had a bit of a a bit of a scene has happened on the intro to the podcast.

I've always thought of it as it should be a scene-free zone. It's all going to be awkward in the studio. You could cut the atmosphere with posh spice. Just with her elbow. So I think maybe we should play the show now and then I'm going to have to have a word with you

to bang your heads together. I'm going to flounce out with my pashmina. Good day to you. I don't think there's enough room in here to flounce. I think you to have to have a word with you to bang your heads together. I'm going to flounce out with my pashmina. Good day to you. I don't think there's enough room in here to flounce. I think you might have to lope. Oh, dear, it's become very awkward. So do enjoy the show, which isn't at all awkward, because it happened before this.

Wreck. Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily and Gareth. I lost... I couldn't keep that straight. It sounded so like a DJ talking that I just started giggling. So I spent the entire night, as far as I can work out, watching

Big Brother because I got in and I'd missed the previous night so I watched that on Sky Plus and then I watched it live and then I watched the later on show. And there were two evictions? There were two evictions, yes. I will be very sad i must say to say to see heidi fleischer oh i loved heidi although i have been on the edge of my seat because i tell you what she's got the driest lips i've ever seen on television and do you ever do that thing you know when you're gonna sneeze and you think my

lips are so dry if i sneeze that they'll split they'll both split like like ripe figs and you go and just when you're on the third you lick your lips really quickly to try to try and rescue well i don't think that would be enough for um heidi i think heidi would have had to bring in some sort of men with sprays so one good sneeze and i think the whole lot would have opened and goodness knows what would have come out. I liked her eviction outfit. She went very low-key, didn't she? She just had some old Uggs and tracksuit bottoms.

No, I liked that. They don't do the homeless look normally. I mean, she looked like she'd been properly evicted from some sort of council house. No, I thought that was a good look. I'm quite glad to see the back of that cat one. Oh, no, I didn't like that. Oh, I didn't.

Oh, no. Oh, she was awful. Where are her eyes as well? Like gingerbread men eyes. Breadful. Yeah, has she got ginger... What are gingerbread? They just put little raisins in them, so it means no eyes.

She sort of went... That's the sound I'll always associate her with. And I don't want that around me. That's not a laugh, is it? That's some sort of nervous filling of silence. Gareth, you just did that. Imagine Ronnie Wood sitting at home, you know... He's a crow, isn't he?

Sounds like some sort of pterodactyl with dyed hair. Yeah. He's just... HE SCREAMS And then doing some jokes she doesn't get, saying, like, I can't remember, I said to Mick Jagger... HE SCREAMS I said to Mick Jagger, God, it's terrible, wouldn't it?

Like, the war. And she goes... Hmm. I mean, that would have been their home life. There's a great quote from Ronnie Wood in the paper this week saying that, you know, he's been seeing another Russian woman while she's been in there, a 26-year-old Russian. Oh, yeah, that was only three days, though.

Yeah, but he said he just did it to make Katya jealous. Oh. Ronnie obviously doesn't know that they don't see the outside news. Completely waste of time. So what's your favourite? What's my favorite quote so far i love this that was when ivana arrived actually there's two favorite quotes okay when ivana arrived she this she brought in this and this enormous uh louis vuitton suitcase it was a valise a valise what does that mean's like a suitcase, but it's what people like me say. Yeah, but, okay, a valise?

Yeah. Just get on with it. And Cisco said, man, that's the biggest Louie I've ever seen. So what is the difference between a valise and a suitcase? It's just a posher name for it. Do you know what I like? I like what Vinnie said to to nicola you know the the sort of page three girl slash wag yes when she

said oh she said i hate it when people call me a wag i don't think i'm a wag and you went no you're not a wag laugh you're not a wag wags go with premiership players don't they yeah he's such a snob and my other favorite quote was when this could go on all morning but we won't talk about it all day though it was when lady sovereign um she got some argument about food and she'd eaten the mashed potato before it had been liquidized during the sort of old person special they had and she said god all i had was like like a like was just like a cat's paw of mashed potato. And that's a fabulous unit of measurement, isn't it? I love...

Just a cat's paw of mashed potato will do me. Thank you very much. It's not a very hygienic unit of measurement, though. If it was in a recipe, you'd have to go and find the cat. Yeah, but they're always licking. They're always licking at the... It's funny you should say that, though, because my girlfriend was attacked by a squirrel this week.

Oh, wow. I'm not making this up. Attacked by a squirrel? Yes, that's it. You've summed up the complete event in, well, exactly the same words that I did. She was walking through St James' Park in central London with a friend, Carmen, I did. She was walking through St James' Park in central London with

a friend, Carmen, and this squirrel encircled her leg on the way up. You know, they'd run round the tree trunk. Went round, not my girlfriend's legs or anything like a tree trunk. Can I mention that? Not Ramoli-like tree trunks. Very shaky legs. There was once

that tawny owl that used to live in her behind. Anyway, so he encircled her leg going up and then he sort of hung from one of her buttocks by his claws. Really? Yeah, she got proper scratches on her legs. It was, yeah. Are you sure these are from a squirrel, Frank?

Did you believe this story? Oh, God, I hadn't thought of that. You'd think she could be seeing some sort of, I'm going to say the word dwarf on the side. Is that what you're suggesting? Oh, no, I hadn't thought of that. See, you've got to be so careful now. I'm about to hire some sort of private detective and all that.

Maybe I could get a weasel in one of those, like, trench coat. No, she had to. She was supposed to go for a tetanus, but her theory was that its claws would have been clean because it's snowing, so they. No, she had to. She was supposed to go for a tetanus, but her theory was that its claws would have been clean because it's snowing so they would have somehow been sterilised. Oh, she's worked it all out. Absolute! Radio.

What we're thinking, by the way, as far as Celebrity Big Brother is concerned, is that Miss, not Miss Sovereign, Lady Sovereign, I don't know if you know her, but Lady Sovereign is a very obvious choice for a role in a forthcoming musical because they're going to make a musical of the Spice Girls, the story of the Spice Girls, and she'd be a perfect Mel C.

She does look like Mel C. Yeah, she's totally, and she can sing a bit as well, so she could be. And we thought we'd ask you this morning, our beloved listeners, to phone in and see who you'd ask you this morning our beloved listeners to phone in and see who you'd cast in the other parts playing the Spice Girls Oh I like this, it's good fun

Yes I think so I've got a few up my sleeve I was thinking maybe Choccy as Geri Halliwell You'd need a wig but it's got the cheeks and everything She's quite Iggy Pop maybe as well Iggy Pop as Geri Hall well. Iggy Pop is so... The sinewy body and the hair.

Maybe you could do Victoria, actually. He's got this... He's slightly... Oh, that's Kim Jong-il, isn't it? I think she's got something about a sort of... Yeah. Kim Jong-il? Who is that? The Korean leader. Oh, right. OK. Oh, you're OK, yeah.

Ronnie Wood could do Pops Pops. It'd be all right, wouldn't it? What about Mel B, Eddie Lodge? That'd be good. Rusty Lee. That's a certainty. I mean, he's got the laugh and everything. Yeah, anyway, we'd love to know who you think should play the spot.

We've never made up the music and it's a proper... It is happening, so someone will have to be cast. And I honestly think Lady Sovereign would be in with a serious chance. I do as well. She's got it all there. She'd be in with a sort of cat's paw of a chance, if I may say that. Didn't we have a night out the other night? Oh, yeah.

Oh, we had a night. If you'd have been with us. We went to the Houses of Parliament. We were invited. I mean, we didn't turn up with, like, small beards on carrying barrels. We all met outside. It was like a school trip. It was like a school trip.

And Dave Gorman was there as well. It was a proper... The OC was there. Oh, I love the OC. Yeah. I love the OC now. In case you don't, if you're not... Absolutely. Christian O'Connell is known around, I love the OC. Yeah. I love the OC now. In case you don't, if you're not... Absolutely.

Christian O'Connell is known around these parts as the OC. Yeah, so we were watching Biffy Clyro. Yeah. Who are a band. Again, if you don't know that. And Scottish, but they were allowed in. Because... There was a bit where we had a tour.

We had a fabulous tour of the House of Commons. I loved that. I absolutely loved it. It was brilliant. And there was a bit where William Wallace had been sort of tried for treason. William Wallace being that bloke. Is he the Mel Gibson one?

Yeah, he's the Mel Gibson one. He's always been known as the Mel Gibson one. That's how I learned history, sorry. Yeah, I think that's that. And Biffy Clyro looked a bit edgy around that. Yeah. They could turn at any moment. I thought they rubbed it in a little bit.

The tour guide says, oh, the Scottish people were like this. This is where we suppressed your culture for hundreds of years. Yeah. It was a bit... I thought that was all right. It was a link. Because we stood where Charles I had been centred.

He'd been centred because apparently he was swaying certainly to the left. It didn't look good on the portrait. It looked like people were trying to straighten the portrait. It was him. But I should say at this point, Frank, that we didn't get to see that much of you, Gareth and I, because you were like a rat up a drainpipe after that speaker. You just went straight over to that speaker.

Someone came up to me and they said, would you like to see the speaker? Well, I thought they'd mistaken me for a sound engineer. But it turned out that John Bercow, who is the speaker, very small man, posh, was there. And I went over and had a chat to him, you know he's the bloke

who now says order not like the old speaker Martin, order he wasn't there sadly, I think he's in disgrace now, but yeah so I went and met him, I would have brought you all over but I don't think he'd have liked him

why? well because you know I think he'd asked to see me especially? Well, because, you know, I think he'd asked to see me especially, I'll be honest. It was an audience. It was an audience with the speaker, that's what it was. He didn't know who you were. He thought you were in Biffy Clyro. How dare you say that to me. And then we went in a cupboard.

We were allowed to go in a cupboard, weren't we, which is where a suffragette had hidden. You did, Boris Becker. Did you not go in the cupboard? Oh, no, I did go in the cupboard briefly, but on my own, I hasten to add. We didn't go into the cupboard together. No, no, but a suffragette.

Emily Davidson, who ended up under the king's horse, of course. I mean, she died. I don't mean she was... Frank! I don't mean she was going out with some sort of equine boyfriend. I don't mean that for a second. Oh, God, this has gone on. It was just a perfectly decent story.

Brant Skinner on Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio. Are you still a little shaken, Gareth? Yes. Gareth came. We saw Gareth the other day for lunch and he was genuinely shaken i loved it yeah i was attacked by well i was intimidated is it some sort of outbreak well she was sort of quite squirrel like she i was intimidated by a tiny teenage girl on the bus

on the way to um see you um i was i had my oyster card which if you don't live in London... Or if you're me. Or if you're Emily. Yeah. An oyster card is a bit like a driver. Oh, OK. But one that's a card and you can put money on him and swipe him against. Anyway. Did I tell you I went into Nobu?

I was with Michael McIntyre and his wife and my girlfriend and when they came for the bill at the end, I said to the waiter, can I pay for the oysters on this? And gave him my oyster card. And he just looked at me. Horrible, nothing, no laugh.

Then I went, no, don't. I'll pay for them. I ate that. I ate that. Cast my pearls before swine. Anyway, so you're on the bus with your Oyster card. Yes, and I beeped it, and it made that eh-eh sound, which means, well, I didn't know what it meant.

Were you on Family Forty? So I swiped it again, and it made the same noise again, and I kind of looked at it and thought, oh. And she said, it means you haven't got any money on your oyster card so why'd you keep doing it this wasn't the driver this was no was she behind you in the queue no she no she was just standing it was quite full but she was just standing there policing the bus was she one of those people who stand and talk to the driver no she wasn't talking I don't know if you get those in London. When I was a kid in

Birmingham, when you got on, there'd be like the driver's mate. And they used to look at you in that, oh, you just get on, I'm the driver's mate. I'm not going anywhere. Was that on a steam train, it must have been. I think it was Wells Fargo. Oh, so did you,

so how did you handle it? I just stood there and wasn't allowed to check again if my Oyster card worked. I wanted to check because I thought I had money on it, but then I couldn't because the young girl had told me not to. What, you were frightened of a teenage? I was frightened. I didn't know what she might do. Well, it was just a status thing.

She had taken the ground of being in control of the bus, and I... I don't know what's happened. Well, I had a tramp giving me evils the other day. Yeah, OK. I was on the tube. I do get the tube. It has happened. Something happened with my driver. I think tramps probably always give you evils, Emily, because you walk past looking like Cruella de Vil.

And the train was delayed, and the driver made an announcement and said, I'm sorry, this train is delayed due to... You don't have to do a working class voice. We've established you're on public transport. Don't rob it in. He said the train was delayed due to a hobo on the train. Does anyone... You did say hobo.

Yes, hobo. That would have been a bit extreme, wouldn't it? I was going to say, how dare you? So I thought... I'm not getting off eyeshadow. So, yeah. So I thought, I'll check out this hobo. He actually called them a hobo?

Yes, a hobo. So the hobo was led off. Did he have a stick with a hanky tied up on the back? See, you're not allowed on the tube with a stick. No. No, I think that's right. So the hobo was led off, and it was a lady hobo. Oh.

Yeah, it was a lady tramp. A lobo. A trampess. And so as they were sort of, you know, she seemed to be in some distress and they were talking to her. The lady tramp sounds like something you'd buy as a home appliance, doesn't it? The new lady tramp from Ronco. Sounds very Disney.

It does. I don't know what you'd do with it, but I'll think about it. So they were talking to her. She was in some distress. And then she said, stop it, everyone's looking at me, everyone's looking at me. And then she went, she's looking at me and pointed right at me. Oh, God. And I was staring at her and I did have a fur on at the time. Yeah. Well, that wouldn't have helped.

Yeah. So everyone turned to me in a Jacques Hu's fashion. Yes. Who? Jacques Hu? And what happened? Was she thrown off the...

She was led off. Yeah. Oh, dear. I'm sorry. They didn't take you as well. She's looking at me. Okay, you get off as well. Yeah. You're going to look at the tramp.

They thought you were some sort of sponsor. You were just taking her out to get her used to the bright light. Oh, well, in a way, it's a lovely story. I can't work out which way, though. Basically, it's you being horrified by someone who's homeless on public transport. You were already ill at ease, I should imagine. God, I bet you could see the vapours, the vapour trails of swine flew in the air

when you got on and thought, oh, this is going to be very awful. Absolute. Radio. I can imagine you on public transport. When the homeless person was identified, you're taking out glasses on a stick to examine them.

So, yes, we're asking people to phone in and say who they would cast as the Spice Girls in the forthcoming musical because they need five people to play the Spice Girls on stage. And if you can text us on 8-12-15. Ian Blair's texted to say Stuart Broad should play Baby Spice. That's a good one. I think that's good. Ian Blair, he's him again, the police chief, wasn't he?

He's not actually the police chief. Oh, OK. He's just a man who likes our show, who happens to be called Ian Blair. Well, that's good. That's better than being a police chief in many ways. I think Daniel Day-Lewis would be good as well. Oh, this is my phone alarm. Oh.

This is what I wake up to every morning. Oh, this is interesting. No, but this is what I spend the rest of the day singing Hong Kong Garden by Suzie and the Banshee. Can you hear it? Yes. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. How long are you going to play this song?

Hong Kong. Hold on. This is me going across the bedroom. And relax. I played that for a specific purpose. Oh, okay. Because if you go to the apps on your iPhone... Oh, check you out with your apps.

Oh, yes. You can download an alarm call from us. Oh. Did you know that? If you go to the... Don't ask me any more details. That's all I know. you know that? If you go to the... Don't ask me any more details. That's all I know. Do you go to Absolute?

You go to the Absolute. Your manager, when you said that, started shuffling around in his seat, obviously wondering if there was money involved. I don't think there is money involved. Sorry, John. I think we're giving all the money to, in the light of what happened this week,

to squirrel research. In case you've just tuned in, my girlfriend was attacked by a squirrel this week to squirrel research. In case you've just tuned in, my girlfriend was attacked by a squirrel this week. This news just in, everyone. Yeah, she was quite... I'd love to know if anyone else actually, if any of our other listeners... I've never heard of it happening before.

I've never. No, I haven't. I put it down to those hazelnut suppositories she's been using. No, but have you ever? I've seen many squirrels in the park and they always seem timid, frightened even. Anyway, so you can download this thing so you can be woken up by us in the morning.

And I was just thinking about what would be anyone's ideal wake-up in the morning because there's many theories that you woke up by the sound of running water and stuff like that, which I wouldn't like that in case I didn't wake up and just wet the bed i used to i used to have a goblin tea's mate she's dead now now i had a goblin tea's mate my mom when she um retired from work they bought her a good you know what the goblin tea's made oh yeah it makes you a cup of tea in the morning it's like an alarm that makes you a cup of tea.

And I remember my dad said, they're only for lazy people. Give it to him. So I took it back to my bed seat. And when it... I don't know if you've ever owned a gobbling tea, but when it wakes up, before it wakes you up,

before you set the alarm, so you set the alarm so that if you want to get up at eight, the tea is ready for eight o'clock. So wake up oh reach across cup of tea and everything's lovely but before that it has to boil the water so at about 10 to 8 you start to get and when i heard that every morning i used to keep my guitar it's absolutely true by the side of my bed and i'd play the opening chord sequence to silver machine by hawkwind which used to start with this sound and that was how i woke up every morning lying in bed playing the opening to hawkwind silver machine what about that um scott

the chef in perth says i've got a brush in my kitchen to play Posh Spice. And Bill from Bracknell. No, social commentary. A brush. Must be very angular. Bill from Bracknell says, Jimmy Cranky for Ginger Spice. Maybe, I don't know. I thought Ken Russell for Baby Spice. God, that's so cruel.

You know, a very big face and just a wisp of hair. Oh, Frank, I've decided how I'd like to be woken up. Could you cast the man in the moon? Would the man in the moon be... Would he be a practical... Would you get him into a dressing room? I don't know. Sorry, I... Yeah, I've decided how I'd like to be woken up. Go on.

I'd like to hear a voice saying, Mr Mancini, your robe, sir. That's what I want. Emily likes the Manchester City manager Roberto, who I think looks slimy. I've said it now. I've said it. Well, you don't have to wear his robe.

I don't have to wear his robe. I imagine he has a man's city robe, judging by his ridiculous scarf. Anyway, enough about football. We're all dead. Absolute Radio. What about this? What about being woken up by this in the morning? I think this would be brilliant. Clay lies still, but bloods are over. Breaths are where that will not keep. Oh, lad, when the journey's over, there'll be time enough to sleep.

Oh, no, it's the A.E. Houseman alarm. Oh, what a fool I've been. Oh, people will come in now from absolute... I don't know if you know, but at absolute rate, if anyone mentions... It's all right now, because you've mentioned it the first time, it's OK. If you mention A.E. Houseman or any of his work, an alarm goes off. You know A.E. Houseman, the Shropshire... I'm sure you're all thinking, oh, God, not more A.E. Houseman.

That's why they brought the alarm in in the first place, to stop that. Neil Francis was always going on about him. Neil Francis is alive, by the way. I started a rumour last week that he'd died. That he was locked in a cupboard. And a terrible smell was emanating. I think if he died, I don't think... I think there'd be non-putre...

I don't think he'd smell anyway. You're making this worse. Now we can hear this. I thought he was a bit upset this morning. Can I just say he's not dead? He's very much alive. And I, for one, am happy to hear that. Gary has texted in,

Catherine Tate for Ginger Spice and Joe Brand for Posh Spice. Joe Brand for Posh Spice. Yeah, he's casting against type. That's what he's doing. Ian from Reading, Mel B could be played by Medusa the Greek Mythical Monster. Yes, although

she's hard to get. Medusa. She just doesn't answer my calls. I don't know what it is. Well, apparently she's going to be in Emmerdale next anyway, so I think she's going to get. Medusa. She just doesn't answer my calls. I don't know what it is. Well, apparently she's going to be in Emmerdale next anyway, so I think she's going to be busy. Yeah, I heard that. So, look, we had a bit of exciting news,

because really we're not like a radio team. We're a family on this show. We do. We all huddle together. We're a bit more Simpsons than Waltons, though, I think, as a family. Yeah, we are, yeah, but there's love. There's love in there, yes. And we had a bit of an exciting thing this week.

This is the most exciting family thing that's happened, I think, since Gareth's baby was born, and that is that Emily's got a new job. I have. I can't rely on this gig to keep me in Prada love, can I? That is true, I suppose, yeah. Maybe working in Prada, just on theurdays after this so so do tell um it's a job at a fashion magazine called in style so but you know that film the devil wears prada where the bitchy woman walks in and throws her fur at an intern that's what i'm like basically that's my

job what is an intern an intern you don't know what an intern is no i'm only an intern is a seabird that's very in fashion. Oh, okay. An intern, that's what. Oh, okay. I see you're already picking up on the fashion thing. It's not. An intern is someone doing work experience, like a young helper. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Okay. Like me or Gareth. Yeah. Yeah, so you're working for... So I've gone totally fashion now. I should say, when Emily... Obviously, I knew...

I mean, I'm talking as if I don't know. Obviously, I knew she got this job coming up up and when she told me who she was working for because i said it's in style magazine well it wasn't a very good line you see when we were on the phone yeah and i thought she said in soul magazine and i thought oh god we'll get all the free odorators i wasn't going to say anything but it's about time yeah exactly so that's what I thought but I'm glad you're working for it but it's so great as well

because even in the midst of that snow blizzard everyone had four inch heels on I found my spiritual home it's fabulous I respect them for that I've been really struggling in the snow I seem to slip I can barely stand up

and I walk like the rain man to try not to fall over. I'm a brilliant driver. And people will run joggers go past me not slipping at all. I don't know how that works.

There must be some special sole shoe. Perhaps you can ask it in sole magazine. I don't work for InSole. So if we need any free what do they have? Fashion models. What's now, Em? You should both be wearing a kind of wet look

skinny jean and a big chunky knit. Right, a big chunky knit? Yes. I had those when I was at school. I was one when I was at school. I was often called one, I must say. No one uses that word anymore, do they? Your big knit.

Well, we're all very excited about it, I must say. And we should wet our jeans. No. Yes. Well, we're not that excited. I tell you what I am excited about. Our guest today is in my opinion, one of the funniest men in the world, Lee Mack. Oh, I love Lee Mack.

Yeah, Lee Mack. We presented the show with him when you couldn't do it. Did you? Yes. Oh, I'd forgotten that, yes. But he's brilliant, so I'm very excited about that. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio.

I went to see, well, me and Emily went to see David Baddiel's new film the other night called The Infidel. We laughed. Yeah, I wasn't invited. No, it was brilliant. We recommended it. You weren't invited, no, but it's very funny. I think you should go and pay it to see. It was like a VIP screening, Gareth. Yeah. Just like I wasn't allowed into the House of Lords when we went round Parliament.

Yeah, well, you know, I think that was probably sensible. Anyway, so I'm standing outside waiting to go in and I said to my girlfriend, oh, that looks like that Nicola from Girls Aloud. Sure enough, it was her with a host of paparazzi, right? But have you ever seen that film Gremlins? Oh, yeah. It looked like she was suckling two gremlins,

which is not something you see every day. And it turned out she had like two, she was carrying two pogs, you know, those pog dogs, but in a blanket. She had them wrapped in a blanket, in a terrible grotesque, it's like something from a razor head. Dogs in a blanket?

Yeah, dogs in a blanket. You must have had that on your Christmas dinner. Yeah, I suppose that would be very big sausages, wouldn't it? Anyway, so I'd never seen... Well, I had seen her in the flesh before, but she's gone through a transformation. I think Emily will agree with me that it's all changed for her since she wore that...

She made her Richard Nicol dress debut. Ooh! I looked it up. I'll tell you how I know that. Did you look that up? I looked it up on the InStyle magazine website. Oh, right! I'm so adored! Do you see what I did?

Just as I was starting to re-evaluate you fashion-wise. But she is pale. I mean, I think she's quite attractive, and I'm glad she hasn't got... And you're Casper the Ghost, so for you to say that... Well, exactly. I had to have my photos up for an identity card to go into houses of parliament and i look totally like casper i mean it was a little ridiculous the big the light bulb head

and all that but she looked do you remember those honey bear things and used to be like bears plastic bears full of honey oh yeah so then so it made the bear look like yes i know what you mean well if you can imagine that they they sold in Nicola Roberts-shaped bottles, that's what it looked like, like I'd bought some Nicola Roberts carton milk. Completely white. Completely white. I was quite worried on her behalf. I think those gremlins are sucking the blood right out of her. Absolute.

Radio. What's the Ethan update? Because many of you will know that, as I said earlier, probably the most exciting this ever happened to our radio family was the birth of Garrett's little boy. Here he is. That's him. That's really him. Wow, that's a long time ago.

I'm sorry. Oh no, it's okay. We'll have to update it, bring him in. He is now making his first word-like sounds. Well, can't he talk yet? No, he can't talk. How old is he? Seven months old.

When did they start? It's older than that. I started very young. I can imagine. Me and Emily are such tragic figures. We are barren. We forgot to have children, so sue us. He's been saying...

Go on. He's been saying, um, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Is he in the Beach Boys? But that's not speaking. Well, we think he might be saying Barbara. Right, OK. Is there anyone in the family called Barbara? No, we can't think of who Barbara is.

Okay. And I took him swimming this week, and he's really lovely. He's very, like, into people. So you met him, didn't you? Yes. He's very friendly. Yeah, we all met him. He's very inquisitive, and I thought that's really nice.

But I took him to swimming in a swimming lesson for babies and i don't know how he's going to be in a classroom situation because he basically spent the whole time looking around at everyone else while i was trying to get him to kick his legs that's a bit like you go though gareth to be fair do you think yeah yeah i think he takes after you it's a focus thing yeah he would just like catching people's eye and then every now and then he would take a little drink of the water. Oh, no. No. No, that's not good, especially at a baby class.

I wouldn't drink that water for a million pounds. Oh, no. Can you imagine? There's all sorts going on in there. Oh, dearie me. Well, it's an interesting... I was reading about that because Nick Clegg, the leader of the Lib Dems, had a bit of a go at what she called Gina Ford, is it?

This woman who wrote this fabulous baby... Oh, she's like a baby whisperer or something? Yeah, well, the baby whisperer is a different book. They'll come to you. Go back to sleep. Please go back to sleep. One of the things she says is don't make eye contact with your baby after ten o'clock at night.

What, in case they're a homicidal maniac? Exactly. Yeah, don't start them. What are they doing up at 10 o'clock at night anyway? Actually, I've been in relationships when I've taken that as a rule. No eye contact after 10 o'clock at night. We've got Lee Mack coming up. I know he's been wandering around outside he's wreaking havoc out

there's some incident going on he's certainly wreaking um so yeah i think i think he's one of the funniest men in the world i believe that you don't have to sell lee mac to me i adore lee mac no i'm just giving you my general opinion absolute radio this is frank skin on absolute radio with emily with gareth but most exciting of all with Lee Mack. Morning. Good morning. I'm a bit throaty because I did a gig last night and I've had about four hours sleep. So I don't want people thinking that you're interviewing Bonnie Tyler.

No. This is me. Not again. Yeah. Yes. Turn around, bright eyes. No, this is me. Turn around.

It reminds me of our trip across europe yes you look like you yeah you look slightly tousled but i like but it'd be a very nice jacket if i may say thank you very much we've been discussing this i've never done before which is uh wore my spectacles for public engagement i usually wear contact lenses but i had four hours sleep i came in couldn't sleep after the gig watched big brother drank a bit too much wine and then that noise that you had on your phone that I heard because I was listening on the way in, that's the noise I woke up to as well. Oh really? So when it- genuinely- You've got to stop sleeping at our house.

But it was um, I was looking round my car, my phone for the car when I had it on the radio. I was going, where's the phone? And it was your phone on the radio. I panicked. I thought it had gone behind the car seat. I was looking for it. I hadn't thought about that. I must have thrown Britain into disarray. Yeah, there's been about 85 car crashes this morning with people looking for the phone.

Yeah, you know, I didn't even notice you had glasses on. Isn't that weird? Well, they're on my face and you're looking at my eyes. I mean... Yeah, exactly. He looks good in them, very statesman-like. Did you not think, because my eyes shrink, because I'm really...

I'm minus six and a half, which you wear glasses, don't you? Yes. Yeah, minus six and a half. You only have to get to eight to get an orange sticker for your car. Is that right? Well, that's not too high, mate. Well, it is, you know. Save me the parking round here.

Well, exactly. I had to pay with a credit card. That's all changed, isn't it? I came with loose change. Apparently that's very 1986. Exactly. Yeah, well, no, you're looking very Diary of an Edwardian Lady, is the look of it. It's the look of it. That's what I went into Ted Baker and said, I'd like to look like an Edwardian lady.

Follow me, son. You're actually served by Ted. Yeah. Oh, that's good. So you're on tour at the moment, as you mentioned. It's a big one, isn't it? Yes. It's 97 dates. Yeah, well, you see, I was in the situation comedy Not Going Out. Yes.

And then, sadly, the situation comedy Not Going Out, it was decided that that wasn't going to be on anymore. BBC decided it was Not Going Out. Yeah. Yeah, literally. Ever again. I was always pushing my luck with that title, wasn't I? Yeah, exactly.

I never call a non-broadcast pilot not going out. Yeah. And, uh- I called one pulled after two seasons. And you know, it was- it was leading them on. And, uh, so I thought, you know, I better- I better book in a tour. So I booked in a m- a big tour. Yeah.

Then it got recommissioned. So now- So you needn't have gone on tour at all. Well- That surely is what you're implying. Can you- can you suggest there's a certain amount of fund in what I'm doing Rather than just to pay the mortgage But I've overstretched myself so I'm booking in a breakdown for August

Oh that's not bad Sounds like you're already having it with the red wine and the big brother Before our sleep Exactly But like you know I'm a control freak So I book in my breakdowns I want to know their all schedules I have to say I've never known such a

He asked me about this guy. He said, do you think this guy would be any good as a tour manager? Lee said to me. And I said, well, I've only ever done a show with him where I don't tour. He does the show. He can make a show happen, but I don't know if he can book hotels and do the driving. And Lee says, oh, I'll be doing that.

I book my own hotels. I mean, who does that? No, I've learned to let go. I'm letting him book the hotels, but actually, I'm saying I'm letting go. I said, you book them, but come up with a short list of three for each night, and then send it to me, and I'll choose one from the three.

So I feel like I'm letting go a bit, but I still I'm still driving my tour manager around. Are you really doing the driving? Yeah. That is weird. Yeah, yeah, of course I am, because if he drives, he'll you know, it's not me, is it? So therefore it'll crash. Not an idiot. And does he feed you the red wine, or do you reach across the street?

No, I, you know, I don't drink whilst driving, obviously. No, okay, fair enough. Obviously, I'm not a fool. I do that before I get in the car, I'm not stupid. No, nobody does that anymore. I mean, when I was a teenager, that was a big thing, drinking and driving. Oh, well, it was a thing to do. Thank God, thank God it stopped. And rightly so, it has changed. Bizarrely, in the 1970 thing, drinking and driving. Oh, well, it was a thing to change. Thank God it stopped. And rightly so, it has changed. Bizarrely, in the 1970s, drinking and driving was just considered cheeky. Yeah, exactly.

And rightly so, it's changed. Yeah, it has. Do you know what I mean? Let's all make it clear that we think it's a good thing. No, it's changed for the better, without a doubt, yeah. Indeed. And I also said to Lee, what's the hotels? And you said to me, I don't know if you did this,

you were on about booking a house. Yeah, a cottage. In the centre cottage. You said, I want a nice open fire. We're on tour, right? We're talking about going on tour. Open fire. An open fire. And I turned up this morning in my tweed jacket. Yeah, I saw there's two red setters in the lobby. I'm loving it.

They look like groupies. Are you going to get your own trope farm? No, I like a cottage. It's better than a hotel, because you wake up and you've got a feeling of being in a house, haven't you? Yeah, but I like somebody making the bed and all that. Yeah, I like hotels. Yeah, but your flat's like a hotel. It overlooks the Thames, and it's like a...

I can imagine, I've not been in it, but I can imagine it being hotel-like. I bet there's chocolates on the bed every night. How dare you? Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio. It's Frank Skinner, Absolute Radio, Lee Mack. I think that's all the basic ingredients that you need to know.

I put my headphones on then, because I thought, that finished suddenly, didn't it? Or did you just stop it? No, no, no, it did. Does it stop like that? It does stop just like that. Oh, I thought you'd be really unprofessional. I thought I'd had enough of this one. Just turn me off.

I thought you'd just go, I've had enough, snow patrol. I do have those moments, but I've never actually curtailed one. Oh, yeah. Generally speaking, absolute. They play such good music, it's okay. You've got the permanent gig, Frank, don't you? I know that. Just do that sort of talk. So, if you're doing a tour with 97 shows...

I said this last time and I'll say it again, you're the only person in Britain who has two syllables for tour. Yeah. Anyway. Now you're on tour. You're on tour, yeah. Oh, that's a good impression, Lee.

I like that. I know, I spent a lot of time with Frank. So, um, were you, um, were you not tempted to add the other three and make it around 100? Because that would have been a good publicity thing, wouldn't it? The 100? Lee Max 100. I hadn't even thought of that.

But now, I am so annoyed at myself for not doing that now. But you could still add three gigs. Yeah, but it's not the same now, is it? All the publicity's gone out. I've spent a fortune on advertising. Well, you can always come back on and say, guess what? I'm doing three other gigs Do you know, I'm so addled with my, I'm so obsessed with darts

If anyone ever says a number now, I always think of it as a checkout Like when you said 100 then, I immediately thought treble 20 tops And when you said 97, in my head I was thinking treble 19 tops So as long as it's a finish, I don't mind Well, that's because you have the most working class pedigree of any comic that's ever lived. Can I just read this out from the... It's the most backhanded compliment I've ever had in my life.

Listen to this. As a kid lived above a pub in Blackburn. After leaving school, he worked in a bingo hall. Yeah. And as a stable boy, and then became a blue coat at Pontings. Yeah, you forgot. Hang on, you haven't mentioned the clock factory. Have you arrived in a time machine from the... You should have been doing musicals. I've

had an old school up-brigging into showbiz, haven't I? You certainly have. Yeah, the Pontings, bit of Pontings, bit of bingo calling. So living above the... Is that where the darts thing came in, living above the pot? I used to stand on a stool. I wanted to be a professional darts player. I spent a year once on the dole playing darts ten hours a day. Ten hours? I was obsessed. You know you've often told your stories and stuff about your drinking. Yes. About it was your obsession. Yes. Well replace

that with darts. That was my thing. Well darts is better for you I think. Yeah. I'm fine. Although the two are from Ling's. It goes quite handy. But what it was was I got really good. I really did. I got I was practicing all day. Then I joined a pub team and I got really good. I really did. I got absolutely, you know, I was practicing all day. Then I joined a pub team

and I went to pieces. I couldn't play in public. And I came to the conclusion that every time I would throw in my bedroom, I'd get on the bed, walk across, take the darts out of the board, walk off the bed. So I was spending all day on the bed, off the bed. So I couldn't play without the bed in front of me. So I thought, if I could take the bed to the pub

and just put it in front of the dartboard and replicate the home situation but apparently that's not in the rules you know no you can't you can't replicate i mean i think you'll find you get nothing in this game for two in a bit oh i thought it's darts themed that was that's the thing don't you just love darts who does i do actually have you heard of darts yeah phil the power taylor love it phil the power taylor is my favorite i watchor, love it. Phil the Power Tailor's my favourite. I watch darts all the time. That's the other lot, that's the Sky lot. I'm talking about the BBC One darts.

That's like the Coca-Cola. You see, basically the BBC One darts, I think is not quite as good as the Sky, but I prefer it. It's like the Championship as opposed to the Premier League. But you get a slightly more old-school type of darts player on that one. You know, the big lads. Because you know they can't drink now anymore.

Really? Well, you can't drink on telly like they used to. Is that right? Yeah, you can't drink and smoke like they used to. So what happened? They thought that would be good. But what they do, apparently, they're just all backstage before they come on.

They're leathered and they come on. They should have drips. You know you can get those drips on a trolley and the backless gown. That would give it a bit of edge, wouldn't it? So has there been a celebrity darts TV show? I'm holding out for it. That'd be great.

You should be the host. You'd be the man. I want to play. I like the idea, because we used to do comedians' darts every year, the Last Laugh Cup. I won it three times. Of course. And comedians would come and play in the Last Laugh Cup.

And we set it up once where we had a big screen and we had a close-up, like they do on the telly, of the board, and then on the split screen, on the other one, the player throw at it. But every time the dart landed, you couldn't see the dart because everyone was rubbish. Oh, OK. It was way away from the treble.

And every now and again, you'd see a little bit of a flight in the corner. You could just hear it. It would have been a great radio show. So, who else is good at darts in the comedy world? Well, me and Tim Vine are probably the ones that always compete for this particular trophy. OK. But mainly me and him.

Is anyone else in it? There was one year when there was three of us turned up for the trophy and the other fellow wasn't very good, so me and Tim just played best of 11. It's a bit sad. In your bedroom. Because when I started that story,

when I started that story, you were going to go, oh, they were all... Frank Carson, Dave Baddiel. David Baddiel playing dance. I can't imagine that, no. I can imagine you and Tim Vine carrying your bed in before it started. Just leave it there, Tim, that's perfect. Absolute.

Radio. I need to establish, you're on tour at the moment. I'm on tour. So where were you last night? I did four nights at Andover the Lights. That's the name of the gig. Andover the Lights. Right. That's the name of the gig.

My joke about that was Andover the Lights. Sounds like an armed robbery in a chandelier shop. Very good. And did it bring the host there? No, they didn't get it. Oh, OK. So that's in Andover. Because they all look to me and say, well, actually, it's called The Light in Andover.

You've just done that as a set-up, haven't you, to a joke? They had that look about them. Oh, right. Famous, of course, Andover for the Twining's Tea Factory and where they make Stannisterlifts. That's what I found out. You've been doing a bit of local comedy. But it was one of those things where I was talking to the audience

and saying, what do you do for a living? And every night, it was only ever Twining's Tea or Stanislaw Sterling. It's a rock and roll town. So are you... The tour has begun? The tour has begun. Right, and how long does it go on for? It goes on to the end of December.

I'm doing 97, treble 17, double tops. It doesn't go on to the end, does it? It does. But I've got a big gap in between. I do the next one tomorrow, then I'm off until December the 23rd. It's not really a tour, it's just two gigs. You should have started a podcast. I'm having five months off. I say off.

I'm writing the popular situation. Can I just say that your publicity person has come over to me during that thing and said, could you mention the dates, please? I'm trying to get the dates out of you. Oh, the dates. I can't mention them all. There's 97 dates. She got proper stroppy with me and now you won't tell the dates.

Well, that's... No, don't mention them all. But you're on tour now. When are you on tour till? I'm on tour till... Well, at the moment, I'm on tour till the end of May. OK, so then you're off in... Then I'm off. No, I'm off. I'm working till the end of May. Okay, so then you're off. Then I'm off. No, I'm off.

I'm working till the end of March. Okay. Then I've got April off. Okay. Then the whole of May I'm touring. Okay. And then, due to popular demand, I've extended the touring to November. Right. In November, Lee is playing Portsmouth, Manchester, Newcastle, Liverpool, Preston. No, no, don't do them all. I've got the phone numbers. No, no, we don't want

them. We don't want Tishy Tate House. Do the phone numbers. I think we've established. Do you know what I would suggest? I would suggest, why don't you say, check out further details on lemaclive.com. That's what I would do, but I'm not the producer of this show. I'm just saying, what you're doing there is, it could be too long-winded, do you know what I mean?

Right. And if someone tunes in, they'll just go, what's this, is this a bloke reading out all the towns in Britain? I just think... Yeah, well, it could be the weather forecast or something. It could be like, yeah. It'd be like Dogger Fisher, the weather forecast, but with just Preston, Chile, Nottingham, Dogger... I can never do that.

Chile? Chile. It's not a town, is it? So, as you say, your sitcom is returning. It is, yes. Which is good, though, because it was pulled and then it was pulled back again. How does that happen?

Well, listen, I don't know how it works. He's trying to be diplomatic. Obviously it was caught and then they really missed it. Yeah, because I think we're a studio-based sitcom, so my theory is if you're a studio-based sitcom, traditionally they're the ones that bring in hundreds of millions of people, aren't they? Okay. And we only got 96 million.

Okay. Which is four million short. 96, of course, is treble 18, single two. Single 20. Do you think they thought they'd checked out all the sets and then they found them again? Treble 20, double 18. Sorry, Gareth. Never mind.

Lee is like Rain Man isn't he thank you is that good or bad it's good yeah Rain Man was rubbish at darts if you ever saw him

he was an excellent he always knew the finishes though he was a great finisher great finisher mentally he just couldn't

he couldn't stop stabbing himself in the face with a dart no he couldn't put it into action so yeah so go and see Lee

Mack on 2-Up. Chatham's the next one. What's that tonight? No, no, it's not. Wimborne. Wimborne. Where's Wimborne? It's near me.

I don't know that. I've got a sofa bed if you... To be honest with you, Gareth, as directions go, near me doesn't help. I don't want the window down in the street saying, I'm looking for Wimborne. I don't know, it's near me. And then you walk off. I'm from Bournemouth. You're from Bournemouth?

Yeah, I've probably mentioned it. Oh, sorry. Well, then, that's good. Don't get sloppy. Don't get stroppy with the guests i've told you about that together i know but you know he's got a lot on his mind finishing mainly at double 12 treble 17 double top am i right double 12 was always my favorite double do you know that really funny old world isn't it i would have gone for scotch Double 12 was always my favourite double, do you know that? Really?

Funny old world, isn't it? I would have gone for Scotch. Yeah, I can see that from looking at you this morning. That was the fabulous Lee Mack, who is on tour and doing his sitcom, Not Going Out. He's not going yet. I'm not going. Can I stay? What do I do?

Do I have a record? That's it, isn't it? That's it. That's it. I'm not going to... I can't... I don't want to sound rude, but I'm doubling up with Danny Baker after the shoot. Oh, OK. I'm off to Danny Baker after the shoot. Oh, OK. I'm off to do Baker.

OK, fair enough. Just get out. Get out! Absolute! Frankie goes to Hollywood. Did you? Yeah. I did once, actually.

I remember I paid a dollar in a shop to look at Madonna's... You know the madonna's sex book with all the naughty photos oh yeah they had that on a chain and you could pay a dollar just to look through it anyway sounds like a really classy shop speaking of books i tried the marsh you know the marshall mcclellan you know marshall mcclellan is a sort of this american writer oh yeah yeah he written the best way to buy a book is if you read page 69 in the shop and you like it, you'll like the book. Really?

Because by that stage, the writer is absolutely cooking. He's found his feet. And that is the perfect example of how the book's going to be. So I tried it for the first time last week. I picked up a book, Thomas, by Joe Palumbo. Picked it up, page 69, read it, really liked it. Took it away. And I love it for the first time last week. I bought this, I picked up a book, Thomas by Joe Palumbo, picked it up, paid 69, read it, really liked it, took it away, and I love it. So it works.

You didn't try that with the sex book, did you? No, I didn't try it. I didn't say, where's 69? That would have been a terrible night out. I did the photo shoot for the new Absolute Advertising. Oh, did you? It's a three-way thing. Right.

It's me, the OC, Christian O'Connell, as some know him. You can't see these pictures on a chain, can you? Yeah, no, not yet. Although we were chained. And Dave Gorman, so it's the three of us, standing in a bathroom. Strange triumvirate.

Looking like three men who live together in a shave in the morning. That's how it goes. But it there was it was very how'd it go well the photographer was was brilliant actually he's very famous um he does lots of big billboard things um he did that food fight one for channel four with anyway oh i know with gordon ramsay it's very good but um we weren't lined up and he kept saying okay so if you uh Chris, if you want to just stand the... And I was thinking, who's Chris? And I don't think any more of you.

And Christian said, after about ten minutes in, if he calls me Chris again, I'm going to have to say, nobody calls me Chris. You know, Christian is my name. Oh, God, the OC's having a bit of a moment. If you want to shorten it, you have to call him Christ. But I got very tense every time the bloke said Chris after that. the oc's having a bit of a moment if you want to shorten it you have to call him christ but i got i got very tense every time the bloke said chris after that it was like somebody was punching me in the stomach because i was waiting for the explosion so anyway we had a small break

and um and christian was saying i i really i can't cope with this and then when we got back the bloke was saying so christian would you like to start? And clearly, someone had had a word. Someone had had a word. I loved it that someone had had a word. I think fair enough. Why should the OC be called that? Oh, I was with the OC. We were a triumvirate on the day. We got on like a house on fire. Laugh!

Yeah. So do you look nice in these pictures? I was a nightmare, I'll be honest with you. I really got stroppy. Nothing changes. This bloke said changes what about if you stand in the bathroom and someone hits you with a baguette on the head to wake you up and i said a baguette in a bathroom that doesn't make sense i said let's give it a go and i walked out

and this is terrible this is me getting started i said i just want to know there was like 20 people there oh i feel sick thinking about you doing and i said i just want to know whose idea that can whoever idea that can you raise your hand? Frank! This bloke raised his... from the advertising agency. You didn't say raise your hand. Yes. So this bloke from the advertising agency owned up. And I said, right, now, would you get a baguette in a bathroom?

I said, maybe if you worked at Greg's. But would you ever get a baguette in a bathroom? A loofah would have been the perfect thing. Yeah, I said that. I haven't got a loofah. He said, well, I was just looking around for things. I said, well, you're looking around. And he said, yeah, I thought there was a bag a loofah. He said, well, I was just looking around for things. I said, well, you're looking around. And he said, yeah, I found there was a baguette over there.

I said, well, over where? And he showed me. And I said, oh, and that, right. And is that a bathroom? So it was all like that. You sound like you were insufferable. Yeah, and then I said to the photographer, are you the real photographer?

Or is the photographer tied up in a cupboard going, mmm, mmm. So I would assume, we all, we got completely starry. It was brilliant. Dave Gorman was very nice. Did he do anything starry? No, he was very humble and sweet. And then somebody from the advertising agency,

I said, did you brainstorm these ideas? He said, we don't brainstorm anymore. He says, we have an ideation. I said, OK. anymore he says we have an ideation i said okay and uh he said blah but it's someone's official title is actually head of ideation the ideator it's like the terminator and he said there was a period in between um brainstorm and ideate ideation um when we used to talk about idea showers, it's a different world. It's a completely different world. By this point, the OC had him by the throat.

He was virtually uncontrollable. Now, we had a lovely day. I'm looking forward to seeing the pictures. They made us look like we'd just got up first thing in the morning, so they made us look old. Oh, that must have been a challenge. Shut your face. Was for the OC. He turned up looking immaculate.

The OC makes an effort with his appearance. No, he does. That's true. I think he's beautiful. You laugh, but... OK, well, these are the posters. That's about it today, I think. Ben Jones is sitting on the other side of the glass pointing at his watch.

With his baseball. He always wears a baseball cap, Ben Jones. What is that? You see, I've got a thing with baseball caps. You know the strap at the back? I count how many holes they've used on the strap, and that's a sign of intelligence. When I wear a baseball cap, I have to leave it open. I have to let it flap the brain so big. But, I mean, he's got a big tail.

I don't think he uses any holes. It's just solid. Anyway, we'd, he's got a big tail. I don't think he uses any holes. It's just solid. Anyway, we'd better move on. It's ten to seven at night. No, it isn't. People check in their watches at home. It's been lovely talking to you today, and good day to you.