The Frank Skinner Show - Handshake Tutorial

Episode Date: March 11, 2023

Frank Skinner's on Absolute Radio every Saturday morning and you can enjoy the show's podcast right here. The Radio Academy Award winning gang bring you a show which is like joining your mates for a coffee... So, put the kettle on, sit down and enjoy UK commercial radio's most popular podcast. This week Frank has been to Comic Con and realised he had a surprising connection to Greedo. The gang also discuss the best thing that’s happened in an interval, dogs with human teeth and Lenny the Lion.

This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Pierre Novella. You can text the show on 81215, follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at Frank on the Radio. We used to follow the... we used to have those parade carnivals through our town and we all used to follow one at the end, the radio. We used to follow the... We used to have those parade carnivals through our town and we all used to follow one at the end, the kids. And then email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk.

I forgot all about that. What were they parading? They're just people dressed up and they're on floats and stuff. But at the end, you just get... Was it like Pride or something? No. Oh. This was, we just get... Was it like Pride or something? No. Oh.

This was, we're talking about the 60s and 70s when I think it was still illegal to be gay. I'm not sure. But those were terrible days. Not in my house. It would be people like somebody who ran the butchers would have a van in it with like a man on the back

holding sausages. And there'd be people in papier-mâché heads and costumes. But at the end, the kids, we would just walk behind it in our normal clothes, representing ordinary people. Oh, I think I know what you mean. It was almost local businesses. I've got a vague, I might have seen it on a TV thing where it's sort of a travel

agent. But it's like a travel agent. Was it a working's like a travel agent in a deck called Shut Up. Was it a working class through the ages documentary? Was it Visit West Brom? The one time we were allowed to watch ITV. And so we say farewell to the people of the West Midlands. No, but they were on deck chairs advertising the travel agent or something. I don't think there was a travel agent.

As I said, I only knew one person who'd been abroad, and he'd been to Tripoli during the army. And was he the same one person you knew who had a car? Yes. Fabulous. The adventurer of the street. The troubadour. Sort of Bond figure.

Yes. For community leader, it's between him and the butcher. I went, yeah. The butcher really looked like, if you wanted to do like a Beryl Cook painting of a butcher, big red face, brown face man who looked like he had a lot of meat. Yeah. Sort of like when he was dressing a carcass,

might just take a bit of fat off and eat it raw unthinkingly Frank, when do you think the last time a dog genuinely stole sausages from the butcher? In a string Well, we had a dog that used to the butcher said to me this was a different butcher

at the other end of the road and he said to me i'm getting fed up your dog it stands outside my shop and barks was a chef uh no this was tiny and he said um i uh i'll have to give it a bone to get rid of it he said you want to you want to feed it and i thought oh you had to feed it and i thought how did you have to feed them yourself that was like a community activity and um years later i met a woman who said dogs actually um i my dogs are vegetarian and dogs actually if you feed them a vegetarian diet they you know that you realize that that love that, that's very natural,

it's much better for them. And I told her this story and I said, at no point did that dog bark outside the greengrocer. That was my evidence. Did she really say, my dog's a vegetarian? Yeah. I don't think the dogs know that they're vegetarian. Well, she didn't say it knew.

No, but it's... It's a bit like saying, yeah, my dog's a... My dog's an anti-war. My dog's a backstreet boy's man. Yeah. How do you know? No, but then the dog would know. But it's like saying of a fellow human being, he's an idiot.

He doesn't know. It doesn't make it any less true. By the way, because Emil was in the studio before us, we had to sit in the absolute boardroom. Yes. Smoking our cigars. We should have been smoking cigars. You speak for yourself, gentlemen.

So it's very flash, and obviously it's where the execs absolute sit around and bear and make big decisions and i said what i would love most love to know and we can't really have this as a texting unless there's any executives listen i'd love to know the best thing ever said about me in that room and the worst thing ever said about me in that room. That would, oh man. Can you start with the worst? I think I'd have... What do you think it is? I'd put the best, I'd put

that on the front of a t-shirt and the worst on the back. So people see me come in and say, oh man, it must be great to have things to say. You know, Shelby's so wonderful, it's just praise after. And as you walk off they go, oh no, I don't think I could live without. Just, you know, light and dark.

Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Just FYI, I think you're on Sunday brunch tomorrow. That is correct. Okay, good. We've had a lot of people very excited to hear this news. Did you know this? If I was Arthur Darville, I

wouldn't, I'd pull out because to put me on with a former Doctor Who companion, I'm just going to annoy him. By the way, you'll recall last week I ended the show by declaring I was going to march off to the British Film Institute to watch all six episodes

of the 1970s Doctor Who classic, The Sea Devils. It was fabulous. Okay. I think you'd like it. Okay. I think it's a good place to start. John Pertwee, every time I see John Pertwee,

he was Doctor Who. That sounds like one of the beginnings of my parents, panic banks. Yes. But he was so fabulously sounds like one of the beginnings of my parents yes but he was so fabulously ex-military you don't get action heroes

now who call people old chap do you or if he asks them to do something he says he ends it with

there's a good fella so does Pierre to be fair oh man I think Pierre would like it. It sounds up my street.

He was famous. At this time it was being made, I think they were keen on cashing in on the big James Bond craze. And he was a real kind of fearless bloke, John Pertwee. He always wanted to be in speedboats and helicopters hanging from rope ladders. Did all his own stunts. He was one of those people.

And he ended up in Doctor Who. Yeah, well, this was in Doctor Who. He had before that. Because they run to speedboats in Doctor Who. Oh, God, yeah. God, that's expensive. He, yeah, I don't know. He probably knew a bloke, John Pertwee.

But John Pertwee had done, which I think is probably one of the most scariest things, the don't know. You probably knew a bloke, John Pertwee. But John Pertwee had done, which I think is probably one of the most scariest things, the wall of death. You know when you cycle round and round? Oh, yes, oh, yeah. It was one of my greatest fears as a child, that and Lou Reed. Oh, okay.

I think it's quite invalid as a child to say your greatest fear is the wall of death. Yeah. As opposed to, you know, the dark. But when John Pertwee, he was in a circus and he did the wall of death because he was, I say he was fearless, but because he was John Pertwee, he had to have a spin on it. So he had a sidecar, you know, the old motorboat.

A one-horse and gromit. A motorboat, yeah. So he had one of those with a lion in it. Because the jeopardy wasn't enough. All right. How much jeopardy exactly does a bloke need? You could have a lion in it. Old chap.

There's a good fellow. Give me a lion. There's a good fellow. Oh, brilliant. What a guy. I really like any sort of dangerous artificial situation where the danger comes from fundamentally misunderstanding animal behaviour. You sort of think, well, the lion at some point will probably lash out blindly, I imagine.

Well, the lion presumably would be. They're not beyond fear, are they? Wouldn't a lion be frightened in a side car going around a wall of dead? I worry that maybe darts were used or something. Do you know what I mean? A bit of sedation, yeah. I think there might have been...

I don't want to go into details, but I think there might have been a bit of dental work. Oh, very old school. Oh, did it have teeth down? Invisalign. Can animals get dental veneers and things?

I've never heard of that happening but I would be stunned if it does not happen in America. Because everything happens in America and especially pets-wise. I mean, I think it's a great idea. Imagine if I got Ray a lovely new set of teeth.

Why don't you get him a set of human teeth? He can really smile. So people don't expect it, and then suddenly outcome like human, terrifying, out-of-context human teeth. Really sort of beautiful, sort of Dallas. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah, you want proper Bon Jovi ones

that don't really look like teeth. Yeah, I'm thinking a bit banana split, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, I bet you it's available. We'll get three links to places you can get it done. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. We've had some fabulous pictures, can I say, of animals with dogs with dentures.

So thank you, particularly Bilbo Bakewell, one of my regulars. Oh, OK. Who has one Grecian goal, he calls himself, who has been saying he sent us a nice picture. So thank you for those. We should maybe put a couple up. Ultra Magnus has a great dog stills false teeth.

I hope these haven't been imposed on these animals against their will, these false teeth. Out of a desperate desire to be praised by us. Well, just generally to be on the internet in the past. I find that dogs would sort of like to carry almost anything around in their mouths, don't they? Yeah.

I think the problem with dogs is stopping them from doing it as opposed to making them. Maybe. I'll have to think. I haven't had a dog very long recently

so I haven't really, I haven't learnt their ins and outs properly. I'll think about that. Thank you very much. What else happened in the Skinner diary? What about this? Last Saturday, here was my day.

I did the radio show, this radio show. Then I saw all six episodes of The Sea Devils of the BFI. And then I went to Das Rheingold, but Wagner's opera, with my friend Baroness Bakewell. And I tell you what i i think it's probably one of the most enjoyable opera experiences i've had it was great uh it's at the eno which i must say it's a somewhere i go a lot and uh i don't want to get all gar Lineker about it, but they've taken away their funding, which is a terrible mistake. It's a really brilliant place.

And not posh and up itself like some opera places not that far away. And another thing I loved about it, they didn't have an interval. Really? Which I love. Bold move. Well, I had years. When I had periods in bold move well I had years

when I had periods in my life when I was desperately lonely and I would go to things on my own I hated intervals you have to sit there like someone out of

an Edward Hopper painting on your own reading a programme you're not interested in while other people cavorted in the bar and now you can stand with someone

both looking at your phone. Yeah, it's much better. I went to see Paul McKenna doing his live hypnosis show. Do you remember Paul McKenna? I do, yeah. As in Stop Smoking With. Yes. And I was in the bar at the interval.

I had a friend on this occasion. And I was in the bar at the interval. I had a friend on this occasion. And a man came into the bar and started going... And he was someone who Paul McKenna had hypnotised into thinking he was a chicken earlier in the show. And he was still... Was he the show. And he was still... Was he the colonel? He was wandering... Sadly, the colonel had already passed.

And he came in and, like, screeched and strutted a little in the bar and then left. And I thought, will he be dealt... Will they close this down, this hypnosis, or will he go home like that, this bloke? You don't want to leave any threads dangling as a hypnotist, do you? No, exactly. I do want reassurances about the aftercare policy.

Exactly. Anyway, I found out later he'd been torn apart by urban foxes on his way home. No, but it was a bizarre... Anyway, what is the strangest thing that's ever happened to you in an interval, intermissional halftime break? I'd love to know. 8.12.15.

Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. So, yes. So, yeah, I would recommend Das Rheingold, if you want to go and see that. It's a modern version. A lot of tracksuits. Absolute Radio. Just recommended it. Well, you know, I think we've got

some pretty, I think lots of different people like lots of different things. Well, I do. I'm just not something who'll be here today. That's what I love about it. And also, it's got sort of a German version of Odin and Thor and Loki, so it's got a slight Marvel... Oh, here we go.

Valhalla. She's in it. What I love about Baroness bakehall is everything but if i was joan i feel like i'm allowed to call her that um i would go with the baroness as a signature in a sound of music reference well she's a little bit sensitive about it because i remember getting a phone call from a hotel receptionist saying I have a message from the Baroness

that she'll see you at 8 o'clock, and I thought this really is like being James Bond. I'll just put my gold cough leaks. She keeps it real, though, JB. How long is that without an interval? Oh, it was two and three quarter hours. That's right, 6.30 and three quarter hours. Oh.

See, that's right. 6.30 till 9.15. That's quite a shift. Yeah. How did you know when to select the time to go to the loo? You didn't want to miss any tracksuited Odins. No, no, you wouldn't walk out in the midst of it. No.

You couldn't do it. You were engrossed. No, I was okay. You're thinking two old people at the opera. That's what you're thinking. I. You couldn't do it. You were engrossed. No, I was okay. You're thinking two old people at the opera. That's what you're thinking.

I'm thinking me at the opera. No, no. Two to three quarter hours. Well, you're talking about things.

Just missing an interval is so brilliant. I'm happy. I'd rather wet Talking about things that have happened during

the interval. I beg your pardon. For intervals, what? They're only there to make money, aren't they,

generally speaking. I don't like the interval. They add nothing. You sound like that man who said at a dinner party when my parents were present to a woman who was present, a man said at the end of the evening to her, you have contributed nothing to this evening. You have drunk our wine, you have contributed nothing to this evening.

You have drunk our wine, you've listened to our stories, and yet you contribute nothing. Yes. Okay. Well, I have this argument quite often. You reminded me of you. Yeah. Which is why I loved him. 459.

459. Interval Tales. I went to Grimsby Away. Okay. Following Ipswich back in the early 2000s. They bungeed someone at halftime. From the stand? That was their halftime entertainment.

Wow. That's Dan Walker from Haverhill. Dan Walker? He's never been to a football match. Oh, he has. Poor Dan. He's a lovely man. He's got the same dog as you, Frank unpaid. Yes, poor dad. He's a lovely man. He's got the same dog as you, Frank.

Has he really? Yeah, same time. Literally the same dog. What, my dog's living a sort of double life, like those blokes in the 60s who had two families who didn't know about each other. Constant business trips your dog's on. It looks very similar. And 319, the strangest thing that's happened to me in an intermission

was being charged £14 for two tubs of ice cream at the Waterside in Aylesbury. How big were the tubs of ice? They're industrial. I like this payoff. At least Jesse James had a gun. Wow, that's

what he's used before and will use again. Yes. There's handprints worn into the sides of that big bento. At least Jesse James had it gone. Fantastic. And true, of course. That's an all comedies truth, as we know. Isn't it

you know we're looking at me shaking your head saying no it isn't shut up Frank we've been receiving from our loyal readers correspondence regarding intervals.

Oh, good. Reflector with a K, which strikes me as a little bit craftwork and a bit you. Oh, that sounds to me like he might be a rap artist. Reflector. I would have gone for comic book villain. Reflector. With a K. Maybe you're right, yeah.

He sounds a bit comic-con. He'd be a nice friend for you, Frank. Well. You can watch the eight episodes of the John Pertwee thing together. I went to see Tom Jones while in Vegas. Oh, yeah.

My mate went to the toilet during the gig and was some time. We asked him where he'd been and he said, I put £100 on black and it was red. So I put £200 on red

and it was black. So I put £200 on red and it was black. Expensive gig. Wow, that was the interval. Oh, God. He's quick. He doesn't mess about reflectors, mate. I wonder if he was a fan of Ant and Dick's Red or Black. That moment when the people of television

revealed how they view the audience, what about a game show where you had to decide if it's going to be read or... Why not just have coin tossing as a game show? I don't mind them saying, look, it's just going to be a simple game of chance and there'll be money at stake. But it's when they chat to the contestants

as though there's some sort of art or... Yeah, like that... What was that, deal or no deal? Yeah. When you made really big... How are you viewing this suitcase that no-one knows what's inside it? How are you...

Yeah, well, the way I see it is... No. No, no. Just say, yeah, what happened? So, as you may remember, Frank, I was a box opener on Deal or No Deal once. Oh, no. Just say, yeah. And also, as you may remember, Frank, I was a box opener on Deal or No Deal once. Oh, yes. And for a charity edition.

And what I like is that Noel Edmonds, he would have speak to you as a box opener about your approach to the game. Yeah. And as if you had any impact on what lay inside the random box you'd been given. No, it was a very... What are you feeling?

It was a bit like when I used to watch wrestling as a kid. It was the willing suspension of disbelief. We all said, look, we know this is, you know, this is fake, but we believe it. But it's like watching a game show from a sort of time before maths, sort of pagan superstitious. Perhaps the box will favour me for this. If Neptune smiles on me. The runes are in my favour.

And look, Frank, a metal bird in sky. But you see, I would watch that. Oh, yeah. Pagan deal or no deal. Watch it, you present it. Belial or no belial Anyway carry on Nigel I went to a game

In the 70s With a guy And before Kick off He said he was going For a snack I said well I don't know If they're open yet

He came back With a chicken pie He was crunching Away at it I said is it hot He said it's still frozen inside, but look, I'm starving. Right.

That's the end of the story. Oh, okay. That was his interval incident. Is that... Would that be dangerous? I've often wondered about... Absolutely. It would be. If it's been cooked and then frozen, in theory, you'd be okay. What wasn't dangerous about going to football matches in the 70s?

Well, that's true. Name one thing. It might make you a bit devil-may-care. You were taking your life in your hands just sitting down. I could tell you some terrible stories about away games. I'm glad that stopped. I'm hoping it stopped. Anyway.

Okay. Yes, let's all celebrate the fact that it's not as scary as it used to be. Briefly, before we go to halftime, Ruth Jordan, weirdest thing I've ever witnessed at halftime, Santa Claus plummeting to Earth after an accident whilst parachuting into Villa Park about 20 years ago. The crowd weren't sure if it was real till the man on the PA system said, nobody panic. Yes, I think I remember that.

I think he hit the stand or something. Yeah. As she says, not very festive. No. No, true. Yeah, well, if you're listening, mate, I hope you're all right. There's no comment. Are we broadcasting Lapland?

IP Lapland on a pointless game we were playing at home as Contry's beginning with L, and was told it doesn't exist. Oh, doesn't it? Is it made up? Well, it's not a Contry, yeah. Terrible news. Oh doesn't it? Is it made up? Well it's not a country A bit of terrible news I just want to share something with you Frank Go on

Well it's regarding a visit you made to Comic Con. Oh, yes. As I like to pronounce it. Yes. Comic Con is a thing Frank likes. It's about superheroes.

I would say loves. Okay. Okay. Okay. Do you like that more than John Pertwee in a leather cape or whatever? Well, they're different experiences, but they attract my brothers and sisters in what one might call the nerd fraternity. And it's a very safe place,

a place I feel warm and embraced. It's hard to be shunned at Comic-Con. That's quite rude, yeah. You've got to really put your back into it. Yeah, that's quite rude. It's hard to be shunned. It's quite a backhand at Comic-Con. It wouldn't be shunned. It's quite a backhanded comment. I know.

It wouldn't be a bad slogan. It's hard to be shunned at Comic Con. It's a nice take on the sort of hard rock love all serve all.

Well, it's, yeah, it's brilliant. Even Frank. So this was, was this last Sunday's at Olympia? This is from Mark Wixon.

Okay. Who I think will be quite a nice friend for you. But let's see how we get on. Hi, Frank, Emily, Pierre and team. Lovely, inclusive team. See? You know what we're dealing with with Mark Wixon. Long-term listener of, and then there's some praise about our show,

which I obviously won't share. Fabulous. Whilst wandering around London Film and Comic-Con on Sunday with two friends, David and Steph, David was dressed as Batman. Oh, yes. I remember this group now. I'm sure there was more than one.

I was going to say, Batman, of course. No, you were the one. No, I remember this. He was dressed as Batman, but he hadn't shaved. And it was like, Batman is Batman. You know the bits in the film when Batman... Batman's wife had moved out. You know when he goes...

Because I'm sleeping on the sofa. When Batman goes through a bad patch in a film. Yeah, it was bad patch Batman. And he was looked, you know, bearded. I felt, I didn't get close enough, but I would guess you could smell the drink on him. Maybe a whiskey stain on the lurex suit. Maybe it needs a bit of a wash.

Yeah, so I remember Bad Patch Batman. Well, Steph pointed urgently towards someone in the crowd. I couldn't see who they were looking for at first. And then right there, looking at the stalls, was one Frank Skinner alongside, may I say, show legend Buzz. Right, Buzz is my child. Show legend. Legend!

I'm a huge fan of the show and Frank's comedy, so I asked him for a photo. As if the two are not in any way connected. I like the show and when Frank's funny. A devastating retort from Bad Patch Batman. Let's hear Bad Patch Batman out. Actually, and also, David is Bad Patch Batman. Mark, was he...

Hold it. What? Don't expose his secret identity. Oh, God. I'm assuming... I know his family will be in danger. Retribution. Have we revealed his address?

Yeah, what's Aunt Harriet going to say? I wondered why you two boys were racing off, not having your lunch. Go on. Anyway, Frank very kindly obliged. It meant a lot. What was this, a photo? Yeah, it meant a lot that he took a moment on a day off to do it.

Now, the thing I wanted day off, this is the time of his life. Now, the thing I wanted to ask, my Batman cosplaying friend, a thing I wanted to ask, my Batman cosplaying friend, a.k.a. Bad Batch Batman, was stopped by 56 people to pose for a photo. Wow.

It was a very good suit. It was the heavy, I mean, I favour the sort of 60s blue trunks, the grey top. Yeah, the utility belt. And I like the yellow oval with bat....great top. Yeah, the utility bat. And I like the yellow oval with the bat in the middle. But, you know, I'm an old man commander.

Did Frank beat the amount of people that asked Bad Patch Batman for a photo, which is 56? Of course, Frank was trying to have a quiet day, not dressed as a comic book superhero, and I hope it wasn't too awful for a gaggle of sci-fi nerds like us to say hello constantly. Well, no, I'd like to say...

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. It would be fair to say, of all the celebrities I've met at Comic-Cons, and paid to meet, I might add, meeting Frank was right up there with the best of them. Just says right up there. Yes, I'm settled for that. I hope you had a great time, Frank, even with the interruption from us.

Keep up the fantastic work. That's Mark Wixon. P.S. As Frank is such a fan of goths, he's more than welcome to come along to Intrusion, the goth event I run in Oxford. Wow. Is it too late for me to become a goth? It's never too late, is it?

No, but you never see old, really old goths, do you? Are there any old goths? I think we can't discuss death so lightly as the youngsters do. What happens to goths when they get older? Well, I think, you know, it gives me an excuse to dye my hair legitimately and to let those fingernails go black and leave them like that. What about if I became a full-on goth and I came in here? I love that.

You know, if I was going to choose a teenage subculture, that would be the one I would go for. Love them. love them Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio we were talking Frank we were talking about

the love between come on everybody between us all we were talking about Frank do you have in your hands a piece of paper what was we talking about, Frank.

Do you have in your hands a piece of paper? What was we talking about? We were talking about, well, you specifically. Me becoming a goth. Yeah. Well, you were talking about whether it was possible to embrace it at a later stage of life. And Simon of Sudbury, who's one of our regulars, he's a sort of medieval chap that we know.

Yeah. 597, hi, Frank, Emily and Pierre. Dracula was a really old goth. That's true. If he can pull it off, I'm sure you can, Frank. He began early. Yeah. Did he?

Yes. Did he get into it early? I don't think... Was he always a goth Dracula? Yes. I don't think if you met Dracula in his 20s, he'd be in a sweatshirt and chinos. I think that was his...

Preppy Dracula? Yeah. Do you know, I would have been into him then. Really? He lost me at the goth. I wrote, can I tell you what? I liked him when he was a bit more Winklevi twins. I wrote a sitcom pilot for the BBC

about a goth football manager, which was my intention was to play the part. Did you really? Yeah. And it was called Just Managing. And it was about a bloke who'd been a player and then had gone into, was in reduced circumstances. And the plot was that they had a woman manager

who was brilliant, but they didn't think the fans would accept a woman manager. So they were like, they're going to co-match. So they got the old goth there. And I did like post-match interviews where I would say goth things. Right, yeah. And stuff.

Sort of incredibly downbeat. Anyway, it was rejected not only by the BBC, but every broadcaster in Britain. I wrote the whole script and everything. Yeah, they didn't like the goth football manager thing. So maybe that's put me off the idea of becoming a senior goth. Frank, I would love to hear a show just called thanks skinner things people didn't like of mine it is a regular

feature on this it had to be open-ended show like after dark so i'd actually i'd completely forgotten about that until we talked about goths and now i remember it have you have you dreamt of dracula since your last uh no your own business no i yeah probably dracula's my thing i i don't i haven't dreamt of him since i love that you couldn't have made me more surprised at your own imagination if you'd been dreaming about being chased by a mummy without stretched arms. Yes, I was saying that I was slightly ashamed of the fact that I had a nightmare that had Dracula in it, that I thought I was better than that.

Thank you, Dracula. It occurred to me if I had a saucy dream who would be at the top of the stairs in the old house, Sam Fox, she'd be waiting there for me. Thank you, Dracula. Is he big in your community? You know, the sort of Comic-Con people? No, not really.

What would happen if I turned up as Dracula? No, that's a Halloween thing. Oh, is that different? I've never seen a Dracula. Do your people not like Halloween? It's not their culture.

You would get like a Freddy Krueger, but I've never seen a Dracula there. It was an incredible, it was a David Tennant. So realistic, I thought it was David Tennant. Really? Really top end.

Frank, quickly, Nicky would just like to add to the interval incidents. Oh, yeah. Bank of anecdotes. Watching David Baddiel's show with my husband, who has a passing resemblance to the man himself, a woman suddenly grasped his arm and said, you are wonderful. I presume she thought it was the norm

that he just came out to chug a pint with his audience during the interval. Yeah. So that's Nicky's husband. Let's hope, Nicky, that that is the background to a woman grabbing your husband's arm and saying you are wonderful. is the background to a woman grabbing your husband's arm and saying you are wonderful. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. We were mid, you'd asked me if Bad Patch Batman did 56 photos.

Yeah. At Comic-Con. And so we wanted to know. I find that an interesting statistic. Does Bad Patch Batman, even though things are going wrong for him, he's crashed the Batmobile, fallen out with Alfred the Butler

and been getting drunk. Yeah. He's still got one of those clickers that they used to use at church fights to see how many people have gone in. How does he know 56 people? It's very specific. Hmm.

I'd count, if it happened to me, to be fair. Oh, well, I didn't. Because it's a rare occurrence for the likes of us normies. For you, all in a day's work. Remember when I went to that dog show in Hampstead for you? Yes. With you, I apologise. It kind of was for you, let's be honest.

But I counted every one. There was one. Well, I'll tell you who I met. I met at Comic-Con. I met Greedo. Oh, yeah. Would you like to explain who Greedo is?

Please do. Greedo is the alien from the cantina bar who Han Solo has a sort of controversial meeting with. Yeah, he's a bounty hunter. Yeah. Who sounds like trouble. It's interesting. You know, we talk about nominative determinism, honey, where your name leads you into a line of work greedo

you couldn't do that now and just have an alien character go oh evil oh he's to be trusted i think evil oh so uh he works yeah he works for jabba the hot and anyway it's a very controversial scene because they're in the bar and um in the original uh star wars harrison ford um shoots greedo preemptively i didn't know it was that violent yeah from quite close range as well and then when uh george lucas revisited star Wars to add a bit of CGI, whatever he did. Because he got a bit of Greedo. Yeah. We've all been there, dear. He changed.

He had Greedo shoot first. Yeah. And so suddenly Han Solo shooting in self-defence. Quite a big, big change. A big change. Well, the phrase Han shot first is a big sort of meme among... Is that right? I didn't know that.

Oh, you should have said that. Say that when you go to the goth night. Hand shot first. Yeah, they all know that. Well, anyway, I met Paul Blake, who played Greedo. And Paul Blake, it turns out, comes from Oldbury, which is where I come from. So I'm talking to Greedo, saying that I went to Mo Farmer. comes from Albury, which is where I come from. Really?

I'm talking to Greedo, saying I went to Mo Farmer. He said, no, I went to Round Green School. I used to live by the Queen's Head. Oh, I live by the Queen's Head. I was having that conversation with Greedo. Yow shot first hand. What does Greedo do? Beautiful accent.

Fair play, I do yours often enough. I'm just going to read what he wrote on my signed photograph. Can you just quickly tell me, to give me an idea, what colour is Greedo's? I have a picture on my phone of Greedo, which is signed, Frank, here my phone of Greedo, which is signed, Frank, he is too old, Greedo. I'll put it on our social media and you'll see what he looks like. We were just talking about last weekend's Comic-Con.

You and your mate Greedo. Me and Greedo. Star Wars pop. We really were two old blokes talking about the old days. In my head, you're sort of leaning on a bar with him, but he is the alien. He's not a person. I wish he had been, but no, he wasn't done up. So Albury is a small place in the West Midlands, in Sandwell.

Is it near where you're from? It's basically where I lived. I was born in West Bromwich, but I lived in Albury. And Albury is also the home of Alan Arlberg, the children's writer, and Jack Judge, the man who wrote It's a Long Way to Tipperary Oh, okay So for a little place

It's like Stella Street If you get that reference that was about a sort of sitcom about a place where all the celebrities lived I I would just call it Frank's Road And then I met Julian Glover was there

is he the Kez one no that's Brian no no that's Brian Glover Julian Glover well he was he's been many

things he was in Star Wars as well and he was in Game of Thrones he's been in I saw him years ago

at the Midlands Arts Centre doing Beowulf, just a one-man show. Fantastic. So I went over and had a chat to him and he was in Doctor Who.

He was in two episodes of Doctor Who. Darling, once you get to a certain age. Yes, but there was a picture of him with Billy Hartnell, the original Doctor, who I love. And Julian Glover played Richard the Lionheart in Crusade. That was the story.

So I said, oh, man, I've got to have that. It's a great picture. And he said, yes, I didn't get on with him. He said he had a class thing going on. He said I was on there with Gene Marsh. We were classically trained actors. He was very threatened by us. I would hear him sniggering with the crew.

I thought, oh, God, you're breaking my heart. Anyways, he signed his Richard the Lion thing and fabulously he put to Frank Julian Glover. And then he wrote, you know, the people write their character names so that you know who you are. He wrote Richard Cordeleon. Which I love. Gosh.

And then Buzz was particularly... Make your own regional sci-fi. He was particularly excited. He's massive, Julian Glover, to be fair. He is massive, but I just... And then Boz was particularly excited because Julian Glover was the vice of Aragog, the giant spider in Harry Potter.

So he had pictures of Aragog to be signed. And he shook his hand. And Julian, if I may call him that, having only met him once, gave Buzz a sort of impromptu handshaking tutorial. No, no, no. It must take a firm grip look me in the eye when you shake my hand your dad when i shook your dad's hand it was a firm grip and you must say this is me you need to remember me and boss is dead going oh all right and he showed him this thing it was really fantastic look mate i just like that you were a big spider.

Welcome to my childhood. To be fair, he signed it. And then he drew a spider, which is pretty impressive. But just one last thing is that we had lunch in the green room at Comic-Con. last thing is that we were we had lunch in the green room at comic-con and you know you sit in there and uh sylvester mccoy and colin baker's on the next table and was very excited and suddenly a big row broke out and i thought oh my god and i realized it wasn't a row it was a brian blessed anecdote he was like the loudest thing you've ever... And I said,

oh, God! And it really did feel like someone was being attacked. Oh, my God. I nearly choked. Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio.

Absolute Radio. We have been talking about all sorts of things this morning. We've got some hot takes in on things that happen in intervals. Lions. You've been talking about lions, Frank. What's the lion? Well, Robbie J.D. has said, hi, Frank, and the other two. Interesting start.

Not all lions are vicious. Lenny the lion was lovely. Lenny the lion. I know a man who was the accompanist of Lenny the lion. Lenny the lion, you're looking at me puzzled. It's a special moment, something Pierre doesn't know. Ring the bell. We need something for that Frank that needs an alarm

something with an African thing as well this is really late South African man doesn't know all the lion news Lenny the Lion is a ventriloquist act was it Terry Rogers I believe who operated Lenny

and he had a sort of a voice like that Request Act. Was it Terry Rogers, I believe, who operated Lenny? Sounds right. And he had a sort of a voice like that. The lion. The lion. Well, I don't know about that. Yeah, very un-lion-like. No element of roar. This is no cur, Dillon.

No, no, no. If Richard the Lionheart talked like that, no wonder they took so long to get him back. I'm not going into any battle. I'll tell you what I would describe him as. Can I just say how it was done as well? Is that there was one hand in the mouth. Right.

And then the other hand went straight into the paw till it became a glove. So it's like a human hand. And he would use that to gesture. Sort of one big lion hand gesturing. But a human hand, like a human hand on the end of the lion's leg

gesturing. Were there four other legs just sort of hanging there? Three other legs. They have four legs. He was a bit, how can I put this? He was a bit Bad patch Batman, Lenny. Lenny the life. Was there an element of, yeah, he seemed better days. He looked to me like he might have been born in captivity.

He hadn't lived a mean street life that some lions have to. My lion's a vegetarian. Yeah. I wish, though, Terry Rogers. Did he have a felt pelt? I'm sure he did, yeah. I'd like to have seen him in the sidecar with Pertwee. Terrified, all gripping on with the one human hand.

Very hard to scream as a ventriloquist via the puppet. But like I say, I know his former accompanist who speaks very well of Terry and the lion. What was I say, I know his former accompanist who speaks very well of Terry and the lion. What was his sort of raison d'etre? What made him tick, Lenny? What drove this lion?

I'm just saying, what was his, did he have main character energy? Well, I think he found his real purpose in later life. I think Lenny the lion got involved in...

Retirement! I think, no. Retired lion. I think he went a bit Gary Lineker and after a life of, enjoying himself, he went into literacy skills. He became a national hero. And sort of helped children to learn to read and stuff.

I like Lenny. I think that's true. If there's a Lenny the Lion historian listening to this, I'm happy to be here. But, yeah, I think Lenny was one of the precursors of a sort of Sesame Street society. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

OK. Frank, Mark has a question. How about you host an intellectually stimulating open-the-box game show based on Schrodinger's Cat? I've never read Schrodinger's Cat. David Baddiel started telling me about it once. There's a great irony.

I realised that he was talking and I was thinking about something else. Lenny the Lion. Lenny the Lion or Greedo. But after this, I'm fairly confident that Pierre Novelli will be able to give me the substance of Schrodinger.

Is it a cat he's got? Mm. Okay. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Have you been Googling Lenny the Lion to see if I'd made it up?

I wanted to see just how horrifying because as as a child i moved here as a child and i will say south african kids television was basically just repackaged 80s american kids television it's very animation heavy if you were going to see something in real life it would be a sort of barney the dinosaur high budget situation okay moving to the uk i have to, if you're not used to it, kids' television is absolutely harrowing. Oh, really? With these sort of homemade rag-based creatures

kind of screeching at each other in high voices in someone's shed. Yes. It's charming, but it's also initially very off-putting. And Lenny the Lion did not let me down. It looks like a sleep paralysis demon. What a review. Absolutely. The telegraph.

And did he go into child literacy in later life? The Lion? It, I should say. He. Yes, I think so. Children's reading books. books oh there you go yeah there you go literacy children's reading books reading books as opposed to uh tasting books it's a bit like a category on bullseye yeah i think children's reading books

i really I'm staring Lenny the Lion in the face right now and I think if you were on safari and you saw a lion look like that it's time to shoot it

I don't like that wow put it out of its misery all right Jeremy Clarkson something very wrong with this lion can I ask also Lenny the Lion

Frank I think a little bit Cadbury's Caramack Bunny with the slightly sort of come hither eyes. I don't like that. I don't like that.

I remember Lenny as being quite camp. Sorry, Frank. Yeah. This sounds like one of those documentaries. Yeah, I can't. I'm talking head.

I remember. When I first... Sorry, I'm telling. I remember, Lenny. Can you talk a bit? Why are you... Of course, when I knew him he was Leonard the Lion.

And do you know Lenny? Lord Lion, as he is now. And who can forget? Because whoever worked with Lenny, we all knew he'd come in and he'd say the same thing, and then it would cut to Frank Skinner doing a Vox Pop with his anecdote. And then Lenny would, yeah, so Lenny said to me,

when you shake hands, you're a mistake. Yeah. And he could, he could have shaken hands because he had a human hand, which many lions don't have that advantage.

They're a real privilege. I have. Anyway, if we keep talking about Lenny the Lion, I feel there'll be nobody listening at all. Well, it's bad news for you because your mother-in-law has texted us. Okay. Anyway, if we keep talking about Lenny the Lion, I feel there'll be nobody listening at all. Well, it's bad news for you because your mother-in-law has texted

us. Okay. Finally, we have found something she's passionate about. Okay. She's passionate. She's a passionate woman. She's a, you know, I'm a biggest fan. But, I think we've really hit her spot with this because Sandy Mason

has texted That's her name by the way. Yeah. She has said Lenny the Lion lived with my Auntie May.

Right. Aunt May. So are we talking about Peter Parker? Are we talking about the actor? Is she mixed up with Lenny the Lion

and Spider-Man? Is that what's happened? Off to Confused. Well, what does it mean, though? What does it mean, Lenny the Lion? No, she means the man who... Terry Hall. Is it Terry Hall?

I think so, yeah. OK. The Lenny the Lion actor. Yeah, the accompanist. What do we call him? The Hand? Yeah. I remember I was once doing a gig and the Sooty show

was on in the afternoon and I was on in the evening. That sounds like a high point. And a woman said to me, and I said so who do you operate? And she said I'm Sweep's friend.

And that was how it was described. Oh, I see. Yeah, you didn't talk about anyone operating anything. Oh, is it Sweep's friend? Sweep's friend, yeah. Oh, I thought it meant they were maybe living, you know, living in sin. It sounds like the way they would try and euphemistically describe gay relationships in the Victorian era.

Because he's long-term friend. It also sounds like when my New Zealand relatives, bless them, were quite coy around discussing relationships where you weren't married. So my aunt, I remember, said to my sister, is Ziggy still your best friend? Oh, OK. Lovely. Yeah, because we used the phrase of,

my parents would talk about someone living over the broth. But I don't know really what that meant. Now, this Schrodinger's cat thing, as you know, I'm not very science-minded. Simple pronunciation. What, is that wrong? No, that's right. Did you do it right?

Yeah. I say Schro, is it Schro? It's a little umlaut on the O. Yeah, exactly. Schrödinger. A little bit more cabaret. So, I'm not a science person. Can you give it me in very simple layman's terms?

Well, you're a fan of irony. And there is some irony here because Schrödinger gave the example of his cat in an effort to criticise quantum theory, not to promote it, but accidentally ended up giving the most famous example of how quantum theory could work. I've gone already.

I don't like it. It was the of how quantum theory could work. Right, I've gone already. I don't like it. It was the use of quantum theory. That's what David Baddiel's child said when H.M. Steps was performing in Jersey. I remember. What was it, Frank? I think she just said loudly in the theatre, I don't like it.

Basically, the idea is that until you observe a particle, it is in two states at once. It's plus or minus. Okay, let's just forget this. No, well, enjoy the irony of the following. Okay. Schrödinger was so furious at the idea that something could exist in two states at once

that he made up his cat example of a way of saying, Oh, I suppose if I put a cat in a box, it'd be dead or alive at the same time until we check. And everyone went, Yes, you'll have understood exactly. Very good. And they used his critique to teach the thing he hated. Ah, I see.

So he forged a weapon of rhetoric to try and destroy this theory and accidentally ended up explaining it really neatly to the whole world. Well, you asked. I did ask. You're right, I asked. I think you explained it very well. I'm sure you have.

But listen. I can't tell you how not, I asked. I think you explained it very well. I'm sure you have. But listen. But I can't tell you how not interested it is. Very rude, Frank. Sorry. Look, I love Pierre in many, many things. We all do. He explains lots of interesting things to me, but every now and again, even Homer nods.

Meanwhile, your mother-in-law totally ghosted me over this whole Lenny the Lion, Aunt May business. Has she offered a further explanation? No, she's found a better song to sing. I mean, what... She's off to be a taxi-rolling camper. Obviously, Lenny the Lion, I don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but Lenny the Lion couldn't dwell,

couldn't dwell with Aunt May on his own. I'm just going to push the current news agenda off. Frank Skinner bursts Lenny the Lion bubble. I was freaking of the news agenda. I got a call from the Daily Mail saying, we'd like to talk to you about your nephew's treatment at the British Library. Are you joking?

No. Bullies. What happened? When last heard, you called them bullies. Last week, I explained that my six-year-old nephew, Elliot, is somewhat obsessed with Samuel Pepys, the 17th century diarist. Yes.

And what six-year-old isn't? Yeah. And the merch is very thin on the ground. You can't get a Playmobil variable cheese. When he went to the British Library, it didn't go so well, basically. And I felt they'd treated him in a beastly fashion. But, I mean, the bottom line is,

even though that was, they didn't act so great. And also, I also did a documentary which comes out on Tuesday about Alexander Pope. And I said, I'm doing a documentary about a bloke who was the most famous poet in England that's almost forgotten by non-poetry and academics. And a disabled poet. The British Library, I'm sure, will help me

because there's loads of brilliant Pope stuff. And they said, no. No, you can't come and film that. So I was a bit off with them. But if it's the Daily Mail versus the British Library, I'm with the British Library. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. By the way, just to finally wrap this up,

I did get a very nice email from the British Library saying that it was very regretful and that they would endeavour to remedy and to rekindle my nephew's enthusiasm. So that was... I like regretful. It's why our lawyers are watching. They never mention my Pope and Swift documentary.

Which is on Tuesday on Sky Art at 8 o'clock, by the way. Check it out. Do you know what? I'm going to investigate your Pope because I'm hearing a lot of good things about your Coleridge and your Wordsworth. For example, we've had all sorts of people from the Eccles cake saying he just watched...

I don't know if he's a he, but they just watched the Wordsworth and Coleridge road trip on Sky Arts. Wonderful. Inspired me to read their works and poetry in general. Tremendous. We don't normally do plays, but I make an exception for the poetry. I think that's all right. Yeah. It's not like it's a big competitive commercial market.

Dyke and Raid, best hour of TV I've seen in a long time. Come on! Better than Shane. Was on! Better than Shane? Was that an hour, Shane? No, that wasn't an hour. You're joking. How long was Shane? I think for most people about three minutes.

I reckon it was 22 minutes plus eight minutes for ad break. You know, I have no powers of invention. Good night. Pure truth teller. Okay, Frank, we were talking last week about tribute acts. Do you recall? Well, yes. I went to see

Buzz and I and Kath went to see the Bootleg Beatles in Amsterdam. We were in Amsterdam. We didn't fly especially for the BBs. They were tremendous. Was it actually the week before last? Yes.

We've heard from people with regards to this topic. Martin Hewitt. My parents, Frank, recently went to see a Tom Jones tribute act followed by the same person doing a meatloaf tribute act in the second half. Wow. They thought he was brilliant. What do you think he did for the quick change? Because I suppose you'd be safe to go with your black shirt.

Swap wigs. The slightly frilly open shirt. I saw Tom Jones live at the NEC. What was he like? Just before he came on, the light show kicked in. And what they did was all over the backdrop was these red Welsh dragons started flashing on and off all around it. And when he came out, he was lit in such a way, how can I put this on breakfast radio, that the lighting focused just below his belt buckle. Yes.

Oh, lovely. And he came out, and there was a woman behind me, who I'd say was probably in her 60s, and she said a thing which I'd forgotten that women used to say as I was growing up, and she said, oh, I've come over all unnecessary. I've never heard that in my life.

It's such a great... All unnecessary. Yeah. I love unnecessary. Yes, there are very sweet euphemisms used in regards to... Yes. So he still had it, Tom. But yeah, I think this goes back to when I saw a guy

who did Johnny Cash in the first half and Roy Orbison I mean the two ranges the widest ranges of the human voice well O Moon has been in touch

oh yeah to say I had to send this to you after your discussions on Saturday Odd Stewart oh yeah already exists

oh alive and kicking in our hometown I should say we were talking about possible names for a Rod Stewart tribute act what was mine? The Rod Delusion

well as O Moon says they've enclosed the picture and what they like is that it says Odd Stewart and then the date. And it says, and then ampersand, and Andy Ellis on bass. And as Moon points out, we really enjoy the poster, the leopard background of Odd Stewart, but also the fact that he gives his bass player a shout out.

Just the bass player? It says and Andy Ellis on bass. And you know what I like? Next to Andy Ellis' name? Little Star. I wonder the story behind that. Why does Ellis get the... Local people must look and go, I don't know if I...

Andy Ellis? Yeah, maybe. Can I just give you one extra detail, Frank? The timing of the Art Stewart gig, I love this. 4pm till 7pm. That's very reasonable, isn't it? My kind of gig. Oh, man, that sounds great.

No interval, I'm hoping. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. So, we've been talking about Odd Stewart. Yeah. Portal 7, love it. And in addition to that, we have another tribute act sighting. OK. This is from Ben Harrington.

I once ended up in a club in Dudley. I know it well. When the original club we'd intended to go into wouldn't let us in. We've all been there. Yeah. That happened to me. Next thing I knew, Flair's in Birmingham. What was it?

Now Burberry. Very good. Nice Harrington. Do you know what that is? Burberry? Do you know what a Harrington jacket is? Is it that sort of beige one with a Burberry lining? It's often black with a plaid lining,

but you can get Prince of Wales check. He had a bit of a Harrington vibe. He did, yeah. So, at this club in Dudley, they had an Elvis tribute act who would start off each line sounding just like the king and slowly wander into a thick black country accent. It makes suspicious minds seem somewhat comical. Now, I don't want to put you on the spot, Frank,

but I'm just thinking we've got someone here. We don't have to pay extra appearance fee. He's from Birmingham. He knows the black country accent and I believe he's a bit of an Elvis fan. How do you vaguely think that might have gone? Birmingham, he knows the black country accent and I believe he's a bit of an Elvis fan. How do you vaguely think that might have gone? I'm thinking, we're caught in a trap.

I can't walk out because I love you too much, bab. I think that, a bit like that. By the way, I saw the movie this week. Oh. At last. Remember I saw the trailer this week. Oh. At last. Remember I saw the trailer ages ago and the trailer was so terrible I resolved I wouldn't see the movie.

What did you think? You know what? I loved it. And at the end, I sobbed. What did you make of that? I absolutely sobbed at the end. It was too much for me.

I mean, Austin is, he's something else. Just that Elvis doing on-channel melody. Oh, man. Too much. How did you get along with Tom? You see, Tom was really

split there, but I liked Tom. I thought he was splendid. I didn't have a problem with the accent or the prosthetics. It wasn't the prosthetics. I just didn't quite understand. When I signed Elvis, I remember. It's like Dracula.

Well, he was Dutch. He was a bit Dracula. Was he? Well, the colonel was Dutch, as far as we know. No passport. I don't know his phone number. I like that. Was it not a clue to Elvis when he panicked

every time they mentioned international travel? Well, exactly. I don't think Elvis ever worked that out. I don't know. But, I mean, you know, there are things that are stretched and things that are shrunk in it. But, oh, man, I loved it. Now, we've got Ruth Jordan has enclosed.

Where would we be without Ruth Jordan? May 12th, 15th. Not sure how Frank will feel about the overexcited pug bit of this preview of his poetry documentary. It's said with praise. The Guardian have said something wonderful about it. Have they?

Following in the footsteps. I won't read the whole thing out, but Frank Skinner, they call you passionate. Hmm. Hmm. About, well, Cass said you were immaculate. That's all I know. About brilliantly witty English Catholic Alexander Pope.

Hmm. I thought that was going to be about me. That was a disappointment. No, you're passionate. You really built it up there. I'm passionate. I sense then that it's not as nice as Emily thought it was at first. It is, but I just, it is.

She's had to change it. Listen, I didn't want to read the entire thing out. Just keep me away from reviews. It's a lovely review. I didn't want to read the whole thing out. I know where it will be. It's lovely. Some terrible dig.

It's not a dig. Get off me. Oh, for God's sake. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Well, Hazel Morrison and Ruth Jordan I have to address because they've both sort of said, can we have Pierre Explains as a weekly segment? And I have to...

Well, we sort of do. I don't know how it happened, but we sort of do. Go on. Just try and stop it, mate. Well, this is the thing. If someone asks me to explain something, I feel like a waiter where someone's just ordered a farl or a vindaloo. It would be irresponsible of me not to ask,

are you sure? Because a lot of people say that and then they really don't enjoy what happens. No, well, it was a bit like Schrodinger's Cat. It was tedious in the extreme. Oh, Frank, you've made the atmosphere so awkward. But that's not Pierre's fault. But until I explained Schrodinger's Cat,

it was both exciting and boring. Hey, I happen to like the Schrodinger's cat story. I didn't really, but I'm making him feel better, Frank. But it's been great for me because now I know that I must not investigate him. So that saved me time. Yes, it's a form of warning. That's a lovely thing to say. Listen, Nicola David has been in touch.

Read John Pertwee. I was once a chambermaid in a hotel. Don't worry. It's fine. I had the dubious honour of cleaning JP's bath after he'd taken a bath just having come straight from the set

of Wurzel Gummidge. Oh. Can you imagine? Bits of straw. Yeah. Maybe. Can you imagine? Bits of straw. Yeah. Maybe. She says it was a difficult, she says it was not a happy moment in my life having to clean that bath.

I think she sounds like a JP fan, as we all are, but no one wants to clean up the old gummage. No. No, that's so true. It's a good new slang term for this. It is. The ring around a bath. The old gummage. It's a good new slang term for this. It is. The ring around a bath.

The old gummage. It's encrusted with gummage. The ring of gummage? Yes, the ring of gummage. That's a Doctor Who episode. That would be a great Johnny Cash thing. The ring of gummage. Is that an origin story?

The ring of gummage. The ring of Gummidge. Is that an origin story? The Ring of Gummidge, the Ring of Gummidge. And then at the end, there's like a sound of a plug being pulled and it going down the thing. Aunt Sally. And on the Australian release, it goes down the plug the other way. You can hear that. It's the Southern Hemisphere. Can I just check something about Gummidge?

Was Aunt Sally his sort of partner? Was it life partner? It was a friendship. Was it a special friend? Well, I think he kind of loved Aunt Sally, but she was a sort of a... Oh, was she a bit snooty? I think she saw him as, you know, a bit silly.

And you know how women are more mature than men generally? And it was a bit like that. And also, of course, she'd taken several severe blows in her job as a fair-grown Aunt Sally, where people just threw wooden balls and things at her. Yeah. But it was a great... It was a great um it was a great program and of course he was buried with a

um with a worse old gommage souvenir rather than a doctor who souvenir i remember saying that very someone i got um i got interviewed this week and they said how do you feel about the 14th anniversary of your radio show and i said when is when is it? And they said, next week. Did you know that? What, this week? The producer's looking a bit embarrassed. Yeah, apparently, that's what she said. And very early on, I talked about the fact that John Pertwee

chose a Wurzel Gommage souvenir rather than Doctor Who. And then we had a texting of, what would you like to be buried with? Popular. And one of the things in my mind is a bloke who said I'd like to be buried in medieval armour just to confuse historians.

Das ist Alice and if the good Lord spares us and the creeks don't rise, we'll be back again this time next week. Now get out