The Frank Skinner Show - Jewellers Eyepiece

Episode Date: January 10, 2025

On today's podcast Frank had a compliment from a fellow dweller of Spiritland and the team discuss Arnold Schwarzenegger's animals. Also Pierre has big news! Email the podcast [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Frank off the radio, featuring him and that posh lady-o, and the one with the French name, from South Africa came. They're all here, open brackets, hooray! Close brackets today. Oh, this is Frank off the radio. What do you think of my new opening sound? It's dramatic. I'm reserving judgment for now. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Pierre Navelli follow the podcast on X and Instagram You can email the podcast via Frank off the radio at Avalon UK comm that's the housekeeping out the way Yeah, I am looking for a sound as you know, I've been experimenting with an opening sound. Yes I don't think people want words straight away, they want a ramp.

So sort of a sound that you feel evokes your essence. Yeah. You know when you ask an Italian a question and they go, eh, and then they're just getting you used to, you know, to tune in and then they start with the words. That's true. And the French tend to go, eh. Do they? Yes. and then they start with the words. That's true and the French tend to go ehhhhhh. Do they? Yes! Ehhhhhh.

Yeah. Ehhhhhh. So that one I used this morning which was. My favourite bit in any carol. Yeah, but you know my problem with the Kings and their Yoda grammar. We Three Kings of Orient are... Yeah, but you're gonna have the rhyme. Yeah, someone sat there with Orient and thought, oh God, I've got to rejig this. Where are we going with all... We three kings from the Orient. And then we have extremely exorient. I think there is a word, isn't it? Let's hope so.

Yeah, we'll see and find out if it is and don't worry about that. That's absurd. Frank, Paul Thomas Walsh, who sounds like he might be a director or something. Or an assassin. Yes, involved in some sort of American assassination. He has got in touch with regards to your opening. How dare you? He says, happy 2025 and all that jazz. Yeah.

For the first podcast of this new year, Frank welcomed us with a rather muted yee-haw. Hopefully this will not have the same effect that it had for former US presidential candidate Howard Dean whose 2004 campaign ended soon after he yee-hawed at a campaign event. I don't recall that, do you? No. I thought that would be popular in the United States. I think he didn't do a good one. Oh, yeah, I think it needs to be full-throated. They don't want a nuanced yee-haw in America. They don't want nuance. There'll be no nuance for the next four years, you can be sure of that.

If you're going to yee-hawing in America is probably the equivalent of if a British politician, you know, they do that thing where they kick a football at a goal at a kid's school. If you really flubbed the kick, really sort of terrible, weak kick as the ball rolled slowly towards the child's feet. And they roll the shirt sleeves up, which is unacceptable. The most famous bad celebrity penalty was Diana Ross at the World Cup. It's a really bad one. What were they expecting from fairness? What?

I mean, it trickled along the ground. If I was the kiddie gull I would have gone, and I'm still waiting. It's the worst penalty ever, Diana Ross. Really? Has she got her own? Ironically it was dross, which is actually what she writes on her autograph. Has she got her own sort of Gareth Southgate legacy then? Yeah. At some point she was going to fix it, she was going to come back on and score a screamer. Well I think what she did was spend the rest of her life watching videos of that penalty to exorcise it from her heart. When I was in school Diana Ross was dead for about three years.

What do you mean? That was the big urban myth that Diana Ross was dead and had been replaced by a replacement. Oh like a Beatles type myth. I think this idea that Michael Jackson was getting ready to step in. Oh like a Beatles type. I think when that idea that Michael Jackson was getting ready to step in. Oh dear. Do you remember the idea that he based his look on Diana Ross? No. He went to a plastic surgeon and said Diana Ross please. Like going to the barbers. Yeah. Big poster of her on the wall. When people asked for a Tony Curtis or a Purdy he went into a plastic surgery.

And obviously a Lady Di, very big in the early 80s, they'd ask for a Lady Di. The hair, not the face? No, yeah. No, I think you've got to have money to go in and ask for the face. Well, now they ask for the face, Kardashian, don't they? Yes. What they all want. And the bum.

Yeah. What about Elon Musk? Elon Musk looks like he's had his face cleared ready for the new face, but they haven't arrived with the construction yet. They've just sort of smoothed it out. Waste ground. Yeah, exactly. Ready for a house.

You know what? I would describe, you're absolutely right, Frank. He's just bought the land, he hasn't got the property yet. What he's got is less a face and more a clean work surface. Yeah, yeah, he's ready. He's a blank page. I think he's gone into politics and thought, let's just make this completely clear and then my character will steadily fall. Why has he got that?

You're South African. Why has he got that waxy face? I think his weird dad was being interviewed on the news the other day and his weird dad doesn't have that waxy face, but he does have a big beard. So maybe Musk's mistake is to not have a big beard. Yeah, see my view now, I've sort of, as the country has turned on Elon Musk, I've somewhat warmed to him. Oh, fine. Why do you always do this? I tell you what's interesting, having grown up reading Superman comics, he's the closest

thing to Lex Luthor that has ever happened. But the only problem with it is there's no Superman in this world. So it's Lex Luthor absolutely running wild. Lex Luthor got rid of the hair and everything. He cleared so much ground in anticipation of his world dictator face. Have you seen the old pictures of Musk when he was bald? No. It's all hair transplant. Oh no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a picture of him from the late 90s. That's the thing that shocks you most about Elon Musk. Well, I had no... that's a good hair transplant. Yeah. You pay the money,

you get the service. I will say, say yeah The rest of everything else about Elon Musk isn't surprising though. He's dead, you know, he looks surprised The dad make the fortune was it via it was it a diamond mine there was some that's a nice they're nice people emerald I find general diamond involved in mining them emerald mine. Don't say that in front of diamond. Being involved in mining diamonds. Emerald mines. Don't say that in front of Pierre. Oh sorry Pierre. No, no. Emerald mines was Musk's dad. And he does look like a Victorian emerald mine owner.

So his look. Is the money in emeralds? I think of them as not proper precious. Frank off the radio at AvalonUK.com. Is the money in emeralds? I remember the Wizard of Oz asking me that once. I hope my advice didn't steer him down any weird paths. Exactly. Well, it was a sort of a brick, yellowy pavement thing. He went off there. No, so

I like the idea that if you're the richest man in the world, can do anything Yeah, and you can buy any face you want because a lot of people now they think there was quite embarrassed about having money And they say well, I'm not as well off as you think but Elon man. He just said I rule the world now Yeah, yeah, you're right. There's something very comic, but the way his approach to well It's someone out of a comic what's gonna happen is we'll be watching the telly and the screen will go a bit fuzzy and he will appear and say citizens of the UK and tell us what to do. With slightly too black packet hair but nevertheless. I'm fine with that. Yes this it is it is very comic booky to become that rich and think I'm going to go to the moon. Yeah. On my own. I think he'll actually invite I think he's planning to invade to the moon. Yeah. On my own. I think he'll actually invite, I think

he's planning to invite the UK, him and Tommy Robinson coming over on an e-boat. We won't even come in because it's all electric. They'll be sitting at Parliament, suddenly he'll be Oh man, even Tommy man, get on like a cross on fire. So speaking of politics, I've had a bit of an exciting encounter on our arrival here today because there's always someone in the studio, which is Spiritland where we record this show. Apparitions. record this show. It's actually a Native American mythical level that we come to Spiritland. And we bumped into Beth Rigby, who is like the political boss at Sky News. I was excited to meet.

You were really excited. I was. What did I gosh? No, I think it was very sweet. I did a bit, but no one could see. Yeah. It was very sweet. No, I... To see you fangirling like that. She's a very impressive woman and she's one of those... I don't like your political correspondents who are on the street. She does on the street. What I've never heard Beth do, and if I found out she's done it, I would be disillusioned. I've never heard, Prime Minister, are you betraying the British nation? That shouted at the car thing. I mean, has anyone ever

wound down the window and said, well, I'm betraying them a bit. I mean, why do they do? Snapped on the walking yes. Chancellor, Chancellor are you intrinsically evil? Why do they do? It's horrible shouting at people in the street. I don't like the shouting. Since I stopped drinking I decided that was a bad thing to do. Well you got some feedback from Beth and her crew I hear because Jenny who worked, Jenny Foote who works on our team. Can I say Beth will be on the Sky News tomorrow saying yeah they'll be invading with Tommy Robinson in a silent car we won't hear them coming. Then you'll go off her.

And I'll say oh she's obviously thought I'm having that. Anyway, Jenny overheard Beth talking with her colleagues. Jenny is our assistant producer. Jenny Foote, filmmaker. Yes. I just mentioned her, Frank. And tea maker. He's getting excited.

Yeah, that's the two extremes, isn't it, of one's life, filmmaker and tea maker. Of every creative profession. Yeah, exactly. Do you want to know what Beth Rigby said about you? Yes! Heaven's sake. I don't know if it was her that said it or the lady that she was with, but they were heard saying, oh, I liked his glasses of you, Frank Skinner. Yes.

Can you put these glasses on in case anyone is watching us in a visual capacity? What like some sort of peeping top? I put my glasses on. I love those glasses. Thank you, but you know there was a time when I would speak to intelligent women as I walked away they'd say he was a very impressive individual. There they say I like his glasses. But you know what, they've got something of the I was vaguely involved in inventing the atomic bomb about them. Well that's what I want people to think of me. Yeah it looks like you'd be standing in the Oval Office as part of a group and

the president would say gentlemen, you'd have your hands behind your back and a big ID thing on your pocket. I have to say, remember the old, was it called Barbenheimer? Yes. Barbieheimer. The phenomenon of two of the biggest, these enormous films happening at the same time and everyone just had to see both because if you had to be part of it. And I thought, yes, I'm going to watch both. And I watched Barbie and I thought it was great.

And that was that. I thought, oh, I don't want the bomb one. I should have done the bomb one and then Barbie. You know what? You don't want dessert and then something sort of good for you. I'm never going to watch Arpina with the stupid Arpina. Al-Pinayma. Yeah, that's what it is. I couldn't even go all the consonants, let alone the whole movie. Okay. So yeah, so that's, funnily enough, I get my glasses from the opticians'

cubits, which as you know I regard very highly. You've got a borderline codependent relationship with cubits. Well I think it's great and it's lovely to be on the podcast praising things that I'm not forced to. For God's sake Frank. Forced is the wrong word actually. I would never sell anything on here that I didn't think was a good thing. I'll say that. But Qubits, I, Qubits, I've actually, I've had some bespoke classes made. Alright Elon Musk.

Because I've got a very big head, I don't know if you're, I've mentioned this to you before. Very long. Yeah. Can you handle this? I got a second hand hat from the Elephant Man, I found it a bit tight. I got a second hand hat from the Elephant Man, I found it a bit tight. But anyway, what do you call the side bits on Spectacles? I'd say legs. The legs!

Really? Some goddamn spider? That suggests some very sexual nature of you that you see that. You see something leaning on someone's nose and stretched behind their ears and you think, oh, that'll be the legs. That's disgusting. Surely it's the arms, the legs. I don't want tortoiseshell. I'm just going to go and wash the bridge of my nose. I'll be back in a minute. Surely the arms suggest an equally... No, but that's an embrace.

On your face. Also, I don't want some tortoiseshell crawling all over my face. Oh my god. Oh, but honestly, the legs of my glasses. Yuck! Have I made this up? Oh, don't start Googling. I hate it when you Google. Surely it's the arms, isn't it? Whatever it is, they never, I think of them as the arms because they desperately reach out for the back of my ears but never actually make it. They're like a drowning, you know that bloke that Phil Collins watched being drowned and then wrote a song about it? He did in the urban mirror. Yeah, urban mirror. In the air tonight. Yes. What's the line again? I watch you being drowned by a local.

Is that local involved? No. So, if you, what is it? If you were drowning, I wouldn't lend a hand. Oh. It's a conspiracy theory made up by people with no grasp of metaphorical language. Exactly. If you were drowning. Because I saw what you did that night. We never find out what it is. But I think the idea that he watched someone drowning someone and if they were drowning he wouldn't help

because what goes around comes around in the drowning world. The drowning world is full of karma. It is, mate. Live by the drowning someone, die by being drowned. Yeah. I don't know why they say that, but they do. ["Dreams of a Star-Spangled Banner"] Have you Googled them legs?

Some people call them legs, some people call them arms. Yeah, some people call them legs. Greg Wallace calls them legs, some people call them arms. Some people call them legs. Greg Wallace calls them legs. Some call them legs, others call them arms. Seems logical. That's what the Eyewear Forum. Anyway, because my head is sort of deep rather than wide. Temples.

That's more up your strata. But here's the thing. I don't like temples. No? Can we not just take that out of the isolation and put that out? I don't like temples. Tell me why I don't like them. Now, they'll think it's some big pro-Catholic thing I'm doing. Or maybe more to the tune of I don't like cricket.

Yes. Anyway, yes. I don't like temples. I love them. Yes. Anyway, yes. I don't like temples, I love them. So when I get an eye examination, because my head's so big, they look at my eyes and then they go and look where the arms are coming at the back of my ears. They have to go on a little walk to the back of my head. Oh, the Cubits people.

Yeah, because their head is so deep. Yes. They can't just peep round, they have to come round. I've had them when they've been, they've actually been standing on one of those moving slides that mechanics use to go under cars, just to get to the front and the back of my head with some alacrity. Anyway, so I'm going to Cubis this afternoon to pick up my bespoke spectacle. You go there all the time.

Oh love, this is my third pair. Okay. I'm eating fruit at the moment. I'm really thrilled that you have such a fabulous relationship. It's a great place and the nice people and very nice people. That's what they all say about cunts. Great spectacles. Yes and how soon, what shall we set a time on this?

How soon before the massive row between Donald and Elon? Oh like a week. Surely it's happened already hasn't it? More than a week. Surely it's happened already, hasn't it? More than a week. There's a rumor that Donald finds him clingy. Oh, really? Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, never thought of him as clingy. Well, there was that, we saw them at Mar-a-Lago. They're hanging out a lot. Did you see that video footage of them at Mar-a-Lago? And I think Elon didn't realize every time Young Man plays you have to stand up in

Donald's world and sing it. And you saw him sitting and he was on his phone and he suddenly obviously realised oh no I have to stand. I don't think Donald liked him not standing for YMCA. Do you think that such is Donald's power that when he, I imagine quite regularly, gets the letters in the wrong order, you have to follow, you have to just pretend he's right. And then he sacks on one for doing joined up writing on YMCA. He said, is that lowercase? Anyway, I can't really do, Pierre does a fantastic. Yeah, he does a very good job. But I don't want to be one of those people who lead people into an impression. Into an impression.

Oh man. What an impressionist suggestion on a Twitter. So Pierre, what would Donald Trump have to say about this? What if Schwarzenegger was there? Yeah. Or that? Oh God. Do you remember my embarrassing Arnold Schwarzenegger story?

No, what happened? Do you know, I really fancied him when I met him. Well, that's fine. I mean, that makes sense. He's muscular and sinuous. Okay, what did you do? Yeah, you could grate cheese on his abdomen. Okay, why were you...

I was introducing him to a cinema full of people. Right. His latest film, whatever it was called. And we had a little chat. I remember he said, it's kind of hot in here. Before he got to the end of the sentence, a woman came over with tissues and started mopping his brow. He hadn't even...

I mean... I bet they were quite orange. Would you take them off? Well, but when we went on stage, you know you did that thing when you're talking to people backstage and then you go on stage and you act like you've just met. So we did, we were on stage and, no he was on stage, no I was on stage. I went out and said I'm very, very excited. I'm going to introduce an enormous star, everyone in the crowd who knew it was going to be in it was all through.

And I said, ladies and gentlemen, Arnold Schwarzenegger. He gets a massive, massive cheer. He comes on and he offers me what I now know was a low five. Now I'd only just discovered the high version. I hadn't seen the low version. So he offered me this low five. I was utterly thrown. I didn't know what it was. So I leaned over sideways and shook his hand. I sort of did a sideways handshake. And he said, oh, that was random. I was short-setting him. Rude. You unsettled the Terminator.

Exactly, yeah. But I just, you know, I think the low five was maybe a development on the high five. It's an odd onstage greeting. He's completely reinvented himself, though, since he took in Whiskey the Pony and the Donkey, hasn't he, and the pig. Are they living in his house?

Oh, they live in his house. He posts all content of having a breakfast with them. He posts heartfelt advice videos to people who he would have previously called puny. Yeah. It's like Snuggles the Pig and things like that. He's rebranded himself now. He's Snuggles the Pig? Or is that the name of the pig? Well, both. I think he's Snuggles the pig and things like that. He's rebranded himself now. He snuggles the pig? Or is that the name of the pig?

Well, both. I think he snuggles it and it's schmuggles or something it's called. I don't know. Schmuggles? Snuggles? You get the general Austrian picture. Anyway, look, we've got some quite big show news. Schnoodles? Yeah. Sorry, that's what it's called. Show news. Snowdolls! Yeah. Sorry, that's what it's called. Show news. It's called Snowdolls.

Oh yes. This happens actually on New Year's Eve. You know on New Year's Eve, what I associate New Year's Eve with is, yes, singing Old Lang Sign in a cross-handed way with people I care about but also with Kath my partner saying I haven't had a text from and then whoever that person is and a whole list of texts that she hasn't had from people anyway I don't I never get texts on New Year's Eve I don't send them I don't want them. Leave me alone. Right, Greta Garbo. Should all the acquaintance leave me alone?

I'd actually be quite pleased. Should all the acquaintance leave me alone? You've had your money now go so um I got a text I think you got one as well from Piano Veli and there was a time was it Frank I would say it was 12 oh it was it was it pre midnight I mean I can tell you exactly is it worth is it worth looking it up to find out the exact time? It was pre the big... I've got too bored to look it up. So anyway it arrived and it was Pierre and his partner who I've never met. No, which is mad.

Because I've been in the same room as her I think. I went to Pierre's book launch. Pierre has a book out called... Pierre has a book out called Why Can't I Just Enjoy Things? And it's about... Well, I don't want to put too fine, it's about his autism. Yes. Yes. I love that we live in a world where we can say that.

I'm the nice South African autist and Elon Musk is the... He's not South African, is he? Elon Musk. Elon Musk? Oh yeah. Are you joking? I didn't know that. Oh yeah, hence the...

Oh Frank, come on. Hence the emerald mind. That's the emerald mind. Oh. Yes. It really adds to his super villain credentials, I think. It's very 90s mine. That's the emerald mine. Oh. Yes. It really adds to his supervillain credentials, I think. It's very 90s to have a white South African villain. What about when I bought that diamond ring in South Africa and I think I was in Cape Town.

Was it ethical? Okay. And it had black diamonds in it. And when I went on to Taskmaster, you had to take in something that was of value, that you would risk losing. And I paid 600 quid for this thing. And I thought, I bet I've been ripped off, because I don't think there even are black diamonds. Anyway, they took them into a jeweler, they took the ring into the jeweler. And the jeweler said said these don't look real to me. Anyway he got the old eyepiece in which I love. I used to carry a jeweler's eyepiece in my pocket and I remember once a waitress came to a table, I was with other people and I said that's a nice ring

and then I just put in a jeweler's eyepiece and looked at it. It's the little things in life. Anyway, it was valued at three and a half grand. They really were diamonds. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, it's like, you know, coal in Newcastle or whatever, the cheaper where it's from. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know if coal's cheaper in Newcastle. That might have been it. Where is, do you still get coal? No. Frank off the radio, at Avalon.com. Where can I get coal? Naughty kids now don't get coal. I've already had the sack.

Yeah. Oh, for God's sake. Anyway, I've just, by the way, I've just checked, and the text we received came through at 8.31 on New Year's Eve. Oh, okay. Anyway, there's a picture of Pierre and his partner. Now, she was holding her hand up. I'm going to be absolutely straight with you, Pierre. I missed the message. I thought she was holding her hand up for five because it was 20-25.

Who does that? Yeah, I did think. Has anyone ever done that? I did think it doesn't quite work. A Hiverto unknown coat. I don't judge people, you know. Do you think she couldn't afford the glasses? I'm looking forward to next year when she holds up her hand and one other finger. But yeah, that's what I thought it was. And I thought, oh, Pierre could have joined in a bit, sort of done a 2000. Anyway, then I realised, well you can tell the story.

Well, I have to, I mean we are talking about this in the manner of where were you JFK? But I was a bit unsure, similar to Frank. I saw the hand held up, but I would describe your partner who I have met as a very classy woman. Therefore, she wasn't doing the, check out my rock. It was a little bit more discreet and she was being a bit subtle. So I did do a lot of zooming in. And then I saw you might have been visiting the Elon Musk family mine and he delivered. I didn't do the... Did you not zoom? I didn't pinch and zoom. I'll tell you for why. No, I'll tell you for why. I met someone and their, I think it was her nephew, has a bit of a

crush on a girl at school. And he went on to one of her social medias and there were some pictures of her and he pinched and zoomed. And a thing came up to say that she'd been notified that he had pinched and zoomed on her picture. What? This is a facility on this. I can't remember which social media thing. Is that right, Pierre? Oh, do you mean it's right?

It's definitely right. I've heard of people accidentally double tapping. You can tag someone. And you can accidentally like it. But pinch and zoom. No, it... This girl was told that... You know, they're the same age. This wasn't the school caretaker.

And yeah, and she got a notification. Oh yeah. This is Starmers Britain. You're going to shout that outside number 10. But now we've got the anti-ogle lobby hounding us as our very fireside. They don't want you to pinch and zoom. No, but I mean that's pretty bad. That is bad.

He'll be giving all presidential pardons to all pinch and zoomers. I know, but you know, when you're young like that you're you know. Wrestlers with dyed blonde hair. But you got a big crush on someone, you're gonna pinch and zoom. I mean there was no option to pinch and zoom in my day. Photography was still in its infancy. Imagine he had to go into school the next day with his girl knowing he pinched and zoomed. So I'm like I'm still laughing at the concept of photography in Yorktown.

Yeah. A man with a black cloth over his head. But what a betrayal though. Isn't it bad enough I had mood rings betrayals without that. It reminded me about my friend, my Irish friend's mom, who when the first tampon advert went on television in Ireland, walked out of the room muttering, there's no secrets anymore. So I didn't pinch and zoom in case Pierre and his partner got a notification. In case it would have set off a sort of enormous alarm.

That would have been terrible. But then I did realize that it was an engagement ring, which was, I have to say, I was sort of slightly elated. I was. Yeah, good. I was very elated. Because it's lovely. Because I didn't know Pierre had it in him.

I think of him as a fairly robotic, unemotional. Why do you mean a lovely thing? I think of him as a fairly robotic, unemotional, unfathomable stone of a man. And here he is. Yeah, I'm so sorry. No, that's going on the Edinburgh Post. An unfathomable stone of a man. This is one of the happiest moments of my life. No, I was happy. I was genuinely...

You called him a stone. I was genuinely happy, but I remember my first... not my first thought, and not even my second, but probably my third thought was, I wouldn't want to do a best man's speech on the Isle of Man. LAUGHTER What a nightmare, but you'd better get lot of pickets and over. First guest on the list. Oh man. Will you ever be,

oh that's true, that's gonna be Orcs isn't it? Wow. Yeah. Well we might not be invited Frank. That's all right. We understand. No, no I'm fine with that. What are you planning? Why wouldn't you be invited? Well because weddings, I think that's when you find out how close you are to people. It's a bit like Dante's Rings of Hell. Yes. Oh, this is lovely. That's what I've always thought. It's just got engaged.

You called him a stone. No. And now you're talking about Dante's Inferno. What is wrong with you? When you find the inner ring, those are the people that are at the ceremony and the reception. And then to me, if I get... The worst sinners. If I get, would you like to come to the night event?

And I'll just write to me and say sorry I can't remember who you are. Also Frank we can't just go to the night event on the Isle of Man, you'll be lynched. I don't know if I can go to the Isle of Man at all. Is there a warning when you... The plane will be turned around. Yeah honestly if I walk out the aisle I could be torn to pieces. Oh god. It was lovely news though. It was, it was and it was as I said I'm completely on scenically I was totally elated by it, I thought it was lovely. Well do you know I was elated for you, you're clever aren't you? Cheeky. Never have to remember the anniversary.

That's why he did it on New Year's Eve. Also I'd kind of forgotten, do people do their engagement anniversary? Oh I see, no it'll be your wedding. But maybe you'll get married on the... Let's not rush anything. Oh okay, alright. Oh so it's the man who called him a stone. No, well... Here's a question, though. Are you planning on wearing what I think the Americans call a men-gagement ring?

A men? I've never heard of this. Yeah. Michael Buble... Oh, is that right? Mickey Bubbles. Yeah. He wears a men... Or he wore... I don't know if he still wears it, but pre-marriage, you wore a men engagement ring. A men engagement ring. So then he wears a wedding ring with that as well, like the lady.

Yeah. Well, I suppose he does now. And does he, he gives it to himself? Look, I don't speak for Boobly. Yeah but not Boobly. Actually I met Boobly, he's lovely, he's very nice to me. He defended me from Joan Collins who was vile. I have to say. What did she say? Oh she was horrible. I was talking about having an argument with my partner. Just like a comedy you know, oh he's a funny thing that happened and she said, yes are you very abusive?

What did Booblay steam in and defend you? Good man. Yeah he did, he did. He was really nice and I mean I don't think he should have slapped her. And the men's engagement ring left like a red line down the side. He actually turned it before the slap so she got the sharpened facets of the stone. The sharpened facets of the stone is the next Edinburgh show that BS is doing. Yes, yeah. Anyway, look, it's brilliant news. Are you going to wear an engagement ring?

I'm going to have to decide because I've never even heard of such a thing. I think it's one of the last vestiges of old-fashioned sexism that only the women wear the engagement ring. Yes, that's a good point. I'm sending you out into the world now, darling, with this sign saying you are no longer available. I, however, will rely on your trust. I'm undercover till the day itself. Yeah, I think it's, there's still a few things hanging over.

I know there's been a feminist revolution, but there's still a few things hanging over from then. For example, average calories a day. Men, two and a half thousand, women only two thousand. I mean, where's the parity in that? I would be on the streets saying, no, we want two and a half thousand calories as well. I think that's been overlooked. I'm sure when we've got Prime Minister Mosque these things will all be sorted. Oh dear. So yes, that is, that's the big news. Yeah, that is the big news and I can say an

honest congratulations. It's brilliant. Thank you. I hope to meet her someday. I feel she's been kept from me. Oh, Hank. I'll be honest. Like in Sweeney Todd. I feel like... Keep her in a sort of upper room. Was it the Queen... Every time you come round. Was it the Queen Mother's auntie who was kept in some cell at Sandringham or something? Oh my God. That's what I feel like. For God's sake, Hank. Yeah, she'll be brought to me when I'm lying in state. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. I'm not totally sure how it's going. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode.

And if you want to get in touch you can email the podcast via frankofftheradio at avalonuk.com.