The Frank Skinner Show - Merry-Hill Streep

Episode Date: August 7, 2021

Frank Skinner's on Absolute Radio every Saturday morning and you can enjoy the show's podcast right here. Radio Academy Award winning Frank, Emily and Alun bring you a show which is like joining your mates for a coffee... So, put the kettle on, sit down and enjoy UK commercial radio's most popular podcast. This week Frank has been on the road and had a new dining experience at a service station. The team also discuss Tom Daley’s knitting, Ben Whittaker’s silver medal and messages on dirty vans.

This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Alan Cochran. Text the show on 81215. Go on, it's interactive. Follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at Frank on the Radio or email the show via the Absolute Radio website. How's it going, guys? Well, I would like to kick off. Morning.

You're going to kick off? I'm going to kick off. But, you know, that's not an unprecedented move on my part. Bit of aggro early doors. Bit of aggy, Hal. We've had a missive from Rabbi Danny Berkman who says, thanks to Frank on the radio, I should say we've had a number of from Rabbi Danny Berkman. Okay. Who says, thanks to Frank on the radio. I should say we've had a number of people getting in touch about this.

Thanks to Frank on the radio and the Olympics, I have this song running through my head on repeat, or at least the two lines Frank is always playing. Can you suggest what that might be, Frank? Well, I'm going to... It's something you play often on the show and a number of our readers have picked up that it's very timely well i could i could be wrong okay i'm i'm searching for it you know that bit where you're waiting for the producer to help you out

and she just doesn't she's looking at their hennaed hands as if they're she's just seen them. Okay, do you mean... Good morning, Tokyo. Come on, Great Britain, let's hear you singing. Don't do the accent. Warning you. Somebody felt a couple of people going into it. I had to jump in quick. Apologies, Rabbi. Okay. Oh, Rabbi. Okay.

Oh, I enjoyed that. I like that. There was a song for the Tokyo Olympics, I think by Long John Baldry. Do you remember Long John Baldry? I do, yes. And he was a sort of British, he'd been like a jazz icon,

and he brought a song out, and it was, I remember there was a bit when underneath, oh, no, it might have been Mexico. Oh, well, we'll just pretend that. Can we cut that, Paul? Live? Gulp?

Exclamation mark? Okay. Can I also? You've been reading a lot of comics. Mexico, that's what it was, Mexico. You've got to be there. You've got to see the greatest show underneath the sun in Mexico. But Tokyo would fit.

That would be lovely, Frank. Don't worry, it's not the ballet link. No, it's not that. I just think mentioning Long John Baldry is a plus for the show. Can I also share this? I'd like to start with some reader contributions. Gary Godwin. Yeah.

Do you remember his reference to a previous feature we've done? Are you both familiar with That'll Do? Oh, yeah, That'll Do in song lyrics. Yes. When they've just thought, oh, as long as it sort of fits, it doesn't really matter if it's not very good. Correct. So Gary Godwin says, in reference to a previous feature,

I must draw your attention to a shocking that'll do. In Jessie J's current chart topper, she states, I want you and me, there's no confusion, followed by breaking all our New Year's resolutions. Oh, wow. Hashtag that'll do. I mean, you don't want to be breaking them in August. And what were they? I bet I'll do. I mean, you don't want to be breaking them in August.

And what were they? Celibacy and life as a recluse. Okay. Jessie J is top of the charts at the moment. That's good for her. God, did I accidentally step into that time machine in my garden? I didn't even know there were still charts. I thought they'd just given up on all that because of the streaming and the downloading.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now I start moaning now about, yeah, well, you know, three lines we only made 48p because, woo! I try and look at the charts and I just get upset because it is that awful thing where I think, who's Tai Pai Wendell?

Yeah, exactly. Just people I don't know. No, but, you know, our parents before us, etc., etc., they all had to go through it. Do you ever say they all sound the same? Well, it reminds me, when my father, I think I told you this once, when Freeze, who sung A-E-I-O-U,

my father came into the room one Christmas and we were watching Christmas Top of the Pops and he got very upset. And he said, 2000 years of civilisation and what do we get? The freeze. Wow. What about my dad? The night John Lennon died and the entire TV

was given up to Beatles documentaries and conversations. He flicked through the channels. It was the Beatles on every, well, I say every, I think all three channels. And my dad said, I don't know what the Fosse's about. They weren't a patch on The Bachelors.

And The Bachelors were sort of an Irish show band who'd had about three or four hits. The Bachelors! Perhaps the only man on the planet who said of The Beatles they weren't a patch on the bachelors um I wish I could give you an example of that it was all sort of I'm in heaven when I see you smile it was that kind of stuff still we're all different I can I tell you um I've been on the road this week. Well, I know because I know we can't share it,

but we're getting an awful lot of praise through for your night in Liverpool. I love it. You had a fabulous night at Liverpool Empire, which was, I was their first show for 16 months, which was quite an honour. I mean, you'd think they had to go to scouser but they let me do it like sonia sonia the one woman show or something but um oh yeah but it was

um i it was great um so that was good there was actually a moment where i did a liverpool medley so i sang you know oh liverpool it's not the leaving of Liverpool, which ended with da-da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, which is the theme tune for Brookside, which I was particularly proud of. Some got it, some didn't. That will have gone well.

It was a great moment. So yeah, that was, it's one of the rare gigs I've done in my life when I've really laid into UNESCO. They're not a common target at comedy gigs, but they've just taken away Liverpool's World Heritage Centre, so there's a lot of hate in the city for UNESCO. Oh, that was good local material. Well done.

It's good to capitalise on that as a comedian. It's a great thing. Especially as they're sort of blaming Everton, UNESCO. Everton's going to build a luxury new ground on the waterfront and they think that's spoiling their World Heritage

Site look. So I suggested Liverpool might build a new ground on the Great Wall of China, get their own back. Let's take all them sites down. I find Scousers are very laid back when you lay into Everton. No, well, I didn't lay into Everton. Let me get that absolutely clear from the beginning. That would have been, I might as well just have gone on stage

and said, shoot me. But there was no UNESCO defenders in the beginning. That would have been, I might as well have just gone on stage and said, shoot me. But there was no UNESCO defenders in the audience at all. I hope there weren't people who think, well, I'm very pro-UNESCO, but I don't want to speak up in this context, because it's quite hostile. I don't really know who UNESCO are.

Oh? But it doesn't stop you guarding them them does it if they're going to start saying you're a World Heritage site, oh no actually you're not if it's that kind of what they used to call Indian giving in America I think that

that's not acceptable can I say we were on the motorway and me when I say we, it was my support act, Gareth Richards, formerly of this show, he went solo on this trip. So it was just me and my tour manager, Omar.

Oh, is he the one that wears the red boots? He wears pink Doc Martin boots. Oh, even better. Yeah. And we were once spotted in a bar somewhere in the north of England and it said, saw Frank Skinner in bar. And then there was about 12 lines about Omar and what he was wearing. So, yeah, he's a colourful individual. And he wears some.

You know, we talked about cut-off points where you can wear dungarees. Omar, he don't care no he still won't anyway so we were going along the motorway we were behind

a FedEx van which had the big FedEx on the front I was really hoping it was

being driven by a former girlfriend of Roger Federer if I'd been out with Roger Federer, I would have FedEx logos on every item that I owned. Do you know what, Frank? I would go further than that. I would actually ensure that I could somehow date Roger Federer

just so I could buy the van. Oh, can you imagine? No, the problem is, of course, he's so incurably Swiss, Roger Federer, that he's probably never been out with anyone except his wife. But I do... Yeah, that's what I do.

I've broken better men. Yes. Anyway, I was pointing out the white arrow. Did you break their surf? I was pointing out the famous white arrow that sneaks into the FedEx. You know, a long debate. Do they mean the white arrow or do they not, that appears in the middle of the FedEx?

And then Omar pointed out that someone had written, you know when you write in the dirt on the back of a van, and someone had written under the FedEx logo, it's not a race which i really liked undermining their whole purpose in life to get things there quickly and so so 8 12 15 what's the best thing you've ever seen written in look we can say on breakfast radio that you've ever seen written uh in dirt on on can say on Breakfast Radio that you've ever seen written in dirt on the back of a van

because I thought that one was righty up there. Friendskin on Absolute Radio. What else have we got? Well, we're having a lot of people contacting us about your Liverpool gig, Frank. Well, that's good, but we don't want to do it. I'm very happy to read the praise, but I don't want to read it out because...

He doesn't want to launch into another rant about UNESCO, so we'll keep that tidy up. Oh, don't worry, Al. But I will look at those because that's lovely. I filleted out the more praiseworthy ones. You did a fillet. Praise fillet. Carry on.

I'd like to kick off with Dr. Troy Keen-Astart, who says, I would love to see some snaps of Omar's outfits. Dr. Troy also says, especially if accompanied by fashion correspondent Dean's

commentary. Well we went in a shop once I can't remember where it was when we was on tour and I'd never been in a shop like it. It sold the most garish and colourful things and I thought where do you even get these clothes? They were really like so extravagant and we were in there i would say fifth five oh minutes and omar must have spent 400 quid in there and uh he's doing well and he just bought all these um fabulous but he wears it well i you know if I wore them I'd look a bit let's say brandrethian I'd look distinctly brandrethian or even lordrethian

or even I'd look maletian maybe Timmy Maletian but he looks cool Al I'd like to share another slice of Liverpool life with you we have Nicky Jones no I'm going to go first with Joe B

Joe B Joe B Joe B Joe B Joe B says brilliant show at the Liverpool Empire good of him to write that,

because being the President of America must be quite busy. Joe B says, brilliant show at the Liverpool Empire. Came from Stoke and wasn't disappointed. Now that is my new publicity thing. Came from Stoke and wasn't disappointed. I mean, come on. That's on the posters. OB.

I want to know if Emily has a ballpark figure for how far that is. Yeah, come on. Stoke to Liverpool, then. Oh, thanks for that, Frank. No, no. Okay, do you know, I actually know this, I think.

I'm going to guess, I think I've driven, I remember driving to Liverpool once, to the football. Yeah. And I got as far as Stoke before thinking, I can't go on, I need a break. Okay.

Because it was too long. So I'm going to say, in terms of driving, is it about 45 minutes in the car? Well, I don't know what that means. I mean, truth be told, I drive at a regular 95 miles an hour on the motor. I don't. I don't.

Alan Cochran, is that accurate? I think you've got it about right. I mean, I don't know off the top of my head, but that sounds about right to me. I'd say it's about 90 miles, Stoke to Liverpool. I don't think you can do that in 45 minutes. Well, speak for yourself. That's the point of having a motorway,

if you're not going to get that pedal down. No, no, can I say I don't? Obviously, I do a steady 69. No, actually, can we do that again, Paul? Oh, my God. Goodness. 69. No, actually, can we do that again, Paul? Oh my God. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio.

Where were we? Oh yes, I've had on the subject of gigs because I've been doing my much postponed gigs recently. I had a nice letter from Brendan Palmer from Birmingham. So I did a couple of gigs at the Alexandra in Birmingham.

And what's very good is he does about eight catchphrases from the show in the letter. They're peppered throughout. So he says, it begins, hopefully my writing is legible. When I learned handwriting, I rather didn't try. Oh, that's first class. I knew a posh doctor who said to me when I praised his handwriting, yes, when I did handwriting in school, I rather tried.

I believe he was taught to write by the traitor Blunt. Traitor Blunt's brother he was taught by. And then there's a who knew and et cetera. And anyway, I can't do the whole answer, but it's a very funny letter. But there's a bit where he says, now this is praise, but this is the kind of praise

that wakes me up at three o'clock in the morning. Because it says that he loves the podcast and he says, I love the laughs, smiles and warmth of your podcasts now there's a declining list isn't it that's a pyramid of doom laughs great smiles not so good warmth have we hit that have we hit that plateau where we're doing the? I suppose the way of reframing this so that you stay mentally positive about it is that you have to think that he's going in an order of descending volumes

so there are more laughs than smiles. Oh, I see. It's like the lead time, yes. Like he's ticked off what's happened and laughs have won. I'm trying desperately to keep your outlook positive on this. I reach out for you as the bubbles reach the surface. I'm reaching out for your straws to save me. I mean, it's rare I'm the positive thinker in a conversation,

but we'll go with it. No, this is a moment for us all. It's self-help from Owen Cochran. Yeah. Right. So, and I say, there's lots of funny stuff in the letter, but there's one particular thing I like where he says, I'd love to have your autograph, which I will send to you, Brendan.

He says, the only other time I've asked for an autograph was Johnny Briggs. And you think, oh, well, I'm now shoulder to shoulder with quite a big time TV, high rating star. Then he says, he was buying a microwave in Corrie's Merry Hill Centre where I used to work. Merry Hill was a big shopping centre near where I lived. Merry Hill Streep, I think, was named after it. Oh, for goodness sake. But then he says, yeah, so I got the autograph for my ex-wife

and to be honest, I'm not a fan of either of these people anymore. Briggs or the ex. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Brendan. Briggs or the ex. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Brendan. I wonder who he's got more affection for. Just sort of vestige it. I wonder if Briggs edges it.

Well, Briggs, of course, no longer with us now, so that always brings a golden tingle. And Briggs, as you know, can you both remember, talking of regulars, what Briggs said to my mother about acting? Was it something about just remembering the words and then going home? You say lines, you get paid, you go home. Yes, I think Johnny Briggs, cynical in that moment. Unnecessarily cynical. But nevertheless, he signed that autograph.

I would have got him to sign a microwave. And then you've got that forever. Anyway, that's not going to happen now. So I've learned to live with that moment. That ship sailed. Frank, can we do a little tease? Go on. Soon, we're going to find out the distance between Stoke and Liverpool.

Oh, my goodness. I said 90 and you said 45 minutes which I think is, you know you could say, oh yeah, well I meant supersonic jet or you could say, oh I meant cycling so you win you're on a no lose situation

I'm thinking I went a bit long on Stoke to Liverpool I'm not sure it is What was your guess? Did you give your guess in times or miles? No, in miles and I went 90 and I don't think it's quite that

At least you attended a distance I just said it takes about 45 minutes Do you want to reform it to a distance? No, because I can't because because I now know the answer. Oh, dear, I can. That's very, very decent of you. I had to really bite my lip when Emily said it in non-miles because I'm exactly one of those people that goes,

I'm sure you want to give that in miles rather than minutes. You know, in fact, I actually said the other day to my wife when she gave me directions i said you she said it's by that white car and i said you really shouldn't use cars for directions because they move yes well i i don't use timings for um things because i think men can't possibly tell the truth when they talk about the timings of journeys. I was once in a bar where they talked about driving. I was in London, they were talking about driving to Edinburgh. And this bloke said, yeah, it took about five hours.

Five hours? Five hours? And he thought, oh, God, I've not been male enough. Well, that's like with a couple of stops. And then the other one says, no, if you go, you can do it in three. By the time I left the bar, it was like, you can do it in an hour and a half and that's with petrol. I thought, I've got to get out of it, the testosterone. I can't breathe.

I can't breathe with testosterone. Well, I don't know if this is a testosterone-y answer, but we've got from 274 the distance from Stoke to Liverpool and it has a lorry emoji in the reply, so it's sort of

lorry robbing. I think it might be a trucker, which means that we could also get some updates on the HGV driver crisis in the United Kingdom. Is there an HGV driver crisis? Apparently there's too few by like tens of thousands.

When I was a kid, it was a thing that people used to talk about as their dream. You know when people say I'm living the dream? It was always about being an HDV driver.

And people would say, what I'm going to do, I'm going to join the army for three years and then I'll learn to be an HDV driver. So, Stoke to Liverpool

is 57 miles from Brother Robin. Oh, I was way, way over. Were you? Yeah, you were a bit out. You were a bit out. Emily, I think 45 minutes is probably all right. If you were to achieve a steady 70. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I reckon I'd do it in, what, half an hour? With a stop. Yeah, with a stop, obviously. May you not meet any police on the way. Well, speaking of with a stop, I got back to Omar, my tour manager, and he's Pakistani,

and he cooks a lot of amazing food. And he said, shall I do a chicken curry and we can stop on the way? And I went and ate that. And I said, yeah, that'd be great. So he turns up with the, and he says, we'll stop at the services. So I got ready to eat it in the car. And he said, no, no, I'm Pakistani.

We'll take them into the services. He said, I think he said, even his sister sent each other photos of Pakistanis eating at services out of Top of Work. It's a tradition I didn't know about. So I said, we can't go, we can't do our own food. We're going to do our own food. That's like the biggest,

that's one of the biggest crimes ever, own food. I dread them. And I ate it, but I was thinking, someone's going to come over and say, excuse me, where did you... But no one did. It was fine. Did it pass quite without incident?

It was fine. And he hadn't even done rice. He'd done this thing with cauliflower to avoid the carbs thing. It was beautiful. It's opened up a whole new world. I never knew you could do that. I honestly felt like I was

like drug running in the Middle East or something. I really felt like I was life in the first lane which I suppose would be the idea. I own food

at the motorway services. Who knew? This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Alan Cochran. Text the show on 81215. Follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at frankontheradio. Email the show via the Absolute Radio website.

I think Gareth Richards was saying to me that his grandfather was a street preacher in Cardiff. I see. Which is where, they must be from somewhere near Cardiff, if they're Welsh. Ah, yes, I believe so. Could Gareth Richards' grandfather be the manic street preacher of their title? The Originale. What about it?

That'd be a great story. Can I share some communiques with you from our very our good people oh sure nicky jones we were talking about your what seems to have been a fantastic gig frank at the liverpool empire oh sorry i mean don't forget the praise filet Nicky Jones I like this sort of missive she says, it's not the usual kind Nicky Jones says Liverpool Empire

fantastic show last night watching Frank Skinner I laughed from the warm up to the end of the show a big well done to all the staff who worked tirelessly throughout it's been a tough 16 months for us all but all the staff you made a great night perfect okay are you the staff no i think the staff that's someone who thought i'm gonna be off the people here i'll give him a bit of praise

but let's stick with the stuff is this this a member of staff at Liverpool Empire? I've done some research and I don't believe so. I think you are included in the staff. Doesn't she say it's been a tough 16 months for us? Does she mean the staff? Was that a slip? Well, thank you. Because it could mean the audience members,

like they've been starved of entertainment. That's what I see a bit, man. It could have enabled that to happen. I think you and Gareth are the star. I suggested that I was the ramp between no entertainment and entertainment. That's why I was the first act to bat. I'm just sort of getting amused to the idea

that there might be entertainment soon. And Dr. Troy Kane-Astate I thought we already had him once. Well we have. He mentioned, he referred to Omar's outfits. Oh, yes, yes. He's a researcher in the history of computing. Is he?

Yeah. Who is he? He will, Atiyah, who he'll be doing, who was the woman who was Byron's daughter, was he? Who was one of the, she worked with... Yes. Yes. With the first Mr. Computer.

Oh, it's terrible when you get old. She worked with Babbage. Yes, I know her name. Yes. I will come to it presently. But Dr. Troy Canastarte has done a lovely callback to Joe B's remark, came from Stoke and wasn't disappointed. Yeah.

Dr. Troy says, I came from Stoke and wasn't disappointed, to the tune of common people. Oh, yeah, it does. That works great, doesn't it? Came from Stoke and wasn't disappointed. I arrived like the anointed one. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Talking of the anointed one, we've had...

Here I am. Yeah, I don't know, Al, I don't know, do you think I should tell him this? Basically, Lincoln Cathedral have got in touch with us, Frank. Okay, well, yes, I visited there on my tour and spoke of it at length. You did? Mm. Last week, you said you'd gone to Lincoln Cathedral and it was beautiful from a distance,

but ramshackle up close. Yes, but I should point out here that I regard ramshackle as more beautiful than beautiful. Can you hear that? Is that an 18-wheeler you hear reversing out? No. Can I say, I went on the official tour of Lincoln Cathedral and the guide's main point was,

I know this looks perfect, this ceiling. Look a bit closer and you'll see that isn't the right size. And I like that. It was a very human building. Well, your reversal is timely. Because Lincoln Cathedral have got in touch with us. The actual cathedral. Yes.

That's strange. Was it what a gargoyle spokesman said? Lovely long nails, though. A Lincoln Cathedral spokesman said, Ramshackle, Frank. We prefer unique... Sorry, I'm laughing. There you go.

A handbag. Ramshackle. We prefer unique and inventive. we prefer you knits on laughing we prefer unique and inventive anyone can make regular vaulting and have all their architecture neatly arranged we love our misaligned roof and mismatched windows i know the feeling dear yes well that i mean i and i love them too I would recommend anyone should go and visit Lincoln. That's not a referral. I did, yeah, I did, but I paid. I paid. It wasn't like a celeb backstage.

Oh, no, it was, and I thought it was going to be, and I tried my best, but no. I paid. But, you know, fair enough. It's all good for the op keep. As Mr. Keepy Oppy said to me when I met him in Tokyo

as the world's best Keepy Oppy man I wonder if he uses the word op keep like that for Keepy Oppy he was Japanese

so I doubt he uses the word op keep at all though he's called Mr. Keepy Oppy so he has a certain westernisation theme

ok Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Ultra Magnus, one of our regulars. Oh, yes. He has said, continuing the Lincoln Cathedral theme, he said, with Frank's mention of the official tour of Lincoln Cathedral, it makes me wonder if they have a problem with unofficial tours.

Maybe telling you all the things the official tour doesn't want you to know. Yeah, I think there were some boot... Imagine if you did a bootleg tour of Lincoln Cathedral. Funnily enough, the bloke who was showing us around, another tour guide who'd just finished his tour, said to us, the assembled followers around another tour guide who'd just finished his tour said to us the assembled followers of the hour to a guy he said uh he doesn't actually work here this guy just comes in he seems all right it was a sort of it's what i call anglican comedy it could have been one of

those uh many a true word spoken in jest scenarios well you could he could have been a rogue yeah spoken in jest scenarios. Well, he could have been a rogue. Yeah. I like the idea that somebody's doing that. I mean, you just imagine, and God bless the Church of England, but I can't imagine everyone would be too polite to say anything, wouldn't they?

So he'd do it for years. I found myself thinking of exactly this chat the other day when you told us recently that you'd paid to do the tour of Lincoln Cathedral because I'm soon to be spending a little time on a staycation in Hereford and they have a cathedral. I knew you'd know about it I just knew but when you when you google Hereford Cathedral it comes up with quite a lot of questions. Is Hereford Cathedral free? And indeed it is. Oh, is it? You have to pay £6 to see Mapper Monday and the Chained Library.

Okay. Which I thought would be right up your street. The Chained Library, yeah, exactly. I think you and your friends in that community. That's in Price's basement, isn't it? Actually, I think I might have some overdue copies from there. I know you're a fan of a fine. Yeah, well, I should say the tour was free,

but you had to pay to get into Lincoln Cathedral. I know, it's a very fine line. It's not bad, though. A family ticket's about 20 quid. It's not the end of the world. OK. Yeah, and it's not bad, though. A family ticket's about 20 quid. It's not the end of the world. OK. Yeah, and it's worth it. Well, we send you all our best, Lincoln Cathedral.

And can I just remind you, you know, Frank is, I think he's cleared up the unfortunate, let's call it the unfortunate ramshackle gate. Yes, I think ramshackle was, maybe it was the wrong word. It's the human frailty. What he meant was more like, as I believe they said in Clueless, the Monet, or Monet as they said. What did they say?

They would describe, I'm afraid it was women, because we didn't know. She's a bit of a Monet. Or he, like a Monet water lily. Oh, yes. So if you get close, it just looks all blurry and difficult. But it's a thing of great beauty. There youly. Oh, yes. So if you get close, it just looks all blurry and difficult. But it's a thing of great beauty. There you go. Yes, yes.

At some stage today. What I like about it, it's a version of beer glasses. It's a sort of chattering glasses, fancy artistic version of beer glasses because it mentions Monet. Don't make it no different. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. No, it's half past.

Don't worry. Should we explain that to anybody that might be wondering what's going on? On the hour I sort of announce who I am. It's more of an aide de memoir for me really. It's just that there's

certain movements that the producer does around the hour that she was doing on the half hour. Ah, right. Okay, well this is quite a lot of background information. I'm not blaming her. No, you don't want to hear this. By the way, I have an apology. I think... Correzione, correzione, ole, ole, ole.

The finest simulation of an authentic football chant I've ever heard. You would think that was 10,000 people chanting that. At least. I think I was saying beer glasses, which I think people call them beer goggles. And beer glasses is more confusing because it sounds like the receptacles from which one drinks beer.

I mean, I know, but I mean, come on. I'm sure it was beer glasses in Birmingham. I think when I lived in Atlantis, we called them beer goggles. Beer glasses is fine. Thanks. I think people are very in Atlantis we called them beer goggles. Beer glasses is fine. Thanks. I think people are very forgiving of such things. Do you? I find people remarkably

unforgiving generally. You find people forgiving now? Of that specific slip on this chapter. Have you ever encountered a platform called Twitter? Pull up a chair. There's outrage on it a lot, isn't there? Outrage.

Normally over punctuation. Is it over punctuation? Yeah, but they're always incorrect. I mean, I say they. I'll say, you can't say that. And you think, oh, I can't reach down that far. I often think that. Oh, for God's sake.

So now I was thinking of you know stuff like putting my shoes on it was an age joke it were rude I'd like to discuss some Tom Daley well let's just do him to die

and see how it goes I don't need to commit to a regular discussion yeah Tom Daley we should do daily news. Oh, fantastic. Lovely. He's been in the news. I think the last time we discussed him, it was

about his frying pan, wasn't it? Yes. His big multi-sectioned compartmentalised frying pan. The master pan. I don't want to sound bitter, but I believe you then got sent one. I did get a free one. Emily and I, not so much. I do what's used.

I use it daily, that giant frying pan. And yet I assumed that I would get a similar physique to Tom. I thought that was the whole deal. It was just cooking implements. Yeah. Rather than the somersaults constantly. He's slimmer. He's slimmer than me now, still, I think it's fair to say.

You see, it's a shame because Daley Thompson got there first with the name, with the potential for puns, but of course they didn't have the branding opportunities then. Daley Thompson, Daley Tom. Yeah. Christian Daley, the one I read. Now I'm into it. Anyway, I should say he got a bronze medal this very morning, Tom Daley.

Spoiler alert, if anyone were recording it, like the likely lads. Yeah, well, you know, it's a bronze. No one's going to go, oh, I didn't want to know. Anyway, so well done, Tom. We like Tom on the show. Oh, Sir Thomas of Daley. Sir Tom Daley, it's got to happen, hasn't it? I would have thought.

He's moments away. I think we're getting waved at, so we're going to leave it on, and then we'll discuss Tom's week, which has been eventful, I think, in the extreme. Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio.

You know what I've just done? I've just bitten the inside of my lip. You know when you do that and you get the blood blister come up? I imagine that if the X Factor was being staged in my mouth, that blister would be the big button, the big red button that they press. Anyway, it isn't. You heard it here first. X Factor. The rumours about the X Factor. Sorry?

It was a good visual picture painting there. Thanks very much. I admire that. Pen in a broadcaster. So Tom Daley, he's been knitting. He's been knitting poolside at the Olympics. Knitting poolside.

Whilst having his triceps packed in ice and the newspapers have obviously gone a bit mad about this as if it's not really normal but who amongst us hasn't sat poolside

with ice packs on our triceps at the Olympic diving knitting a cardigan for a dog? Who hasn't done that? Why are they making such a big fuss? There's a lot to unravel. Oh! For a start off, I've seen... I haven't seen the dog.

I saw a cardigan he'd knitted for himself The Team GB one I liked that one It was a nice I thought Tom That is a nice cardigan mate You've done And it's got like

It's got Tokyo But in Japanese lettering In wool on it And did you notice It's a slight judo jacket style To the front I'm all over it I was going to say I looked

at that I looked at Tom's knit and I thought of you I thought. It looks like a gi as we call it in the martial arts community. It looks like a gi Touch for the fair What about like a gi tucked for the very first time?

I thought it had, we were just discussing it earlier, and I think Emily said it had a Starsky and Hodge feel. A PMG is what I would, a Paul Michael Glazer feel. Well, can I also add to that and say that the chunky knitwear the sort of, I'm going to call it substantial knitwear is

very in season. In fact, there's a Kermit the Frog one I've got my eye on. To introduce our guest star, it's what I'm here to do. All the voices. All the voices.

I was thinking if Tom needed those to order, he could charge the world because it'd be a Daily Original. What would you pay? For a Tom Daley cardigan. But that Team GB one. I'm sure Tom being Tom, there'd be a charity element. Oh, he's so lovely. Yeah, so I think, you know,

you've got to go, like, what, five grand or something like that. Wowee. The charity bit would put me off. Depends on the charity. Well, yeah, you know that. Capitalism. I prefer naked capitalism. You could have a sideline with Tom

where the charities aren't even bothered, you know. No interference with charity, just Tom texting cash in hand. It's just a cold, hard transaction. It's a transactional relationship. But really, the boy can knit, I'm going to say. Oh, yeah. And it's great because, you know, when I was a kid, every, I'm going to say, every woman of a certain age knitted.

I didn't know any, my dad. Actually, I'll come back to this. Just come back to it because I also want to discuss Tom's metal pouch. I didn't see his metal pouch. That better not be a you for me. No. Otherwise, you can have the conversation with the heads of the apartment.

I'm not. Can we return to Tom Daley's medal pouch? Hang down your head, Tom Daley. Hang down your head and die. Sorry, there's a song called Tom Dooley. I don't know if you know it. It was that period, a short period in the 60s, when folk music became big and was charting,

especially in America. And I think Tom Dooley. You do have a lot of songs. Yes. Hang down your head, Tom Dooley. It's about an execution. Anyway. Of course it is. Good morning, head, Tom Dooley. It's about an execution. Anyway. Of course it is.

Good morning, everyone. Absolute Radio. That'll be a nice one for quite niche, but maybe, I'll tell you who'd like it. Sure. The Pierpoint relative. Oh, yes. Occasionally we're contacted by Albert Pierpoint's niece

or something like that. Great niece, I believe. Albert Pierpont was, just in case anyone's unfamiliar. Oh yes, Albert Pierpont was the official hangman of the United Kingdom. I don't mean the hangman champion. I mean, he was a hangman. He hanged for a living. Was he the last hangman of the United Kingdom?

He was. There's not much work in it now in the UK. It's gone like dry stone wall in Athens. Well, there's still a bit of that about it, to be fair. When you mention the official hangman, to paraphrase our reader, Ultra Magnus, it makes me wonder if they have a problem with the unofficial hangman.

Well, there could have been some underworld hangmen, but we don't talk about it. I don't want their relatives contacting us. Thank you very much. No, they're too busy doing documentaries on Channel 5. Yeah, probably. So, Tom Daley's medal pouch, he made a number of items.

He made, he's been a busy bee. Knitted. He knitted a dog jumper for his Frenchie yeah i believe she's called izzy it was a pink and mauve sort of jaquito a jaquito why is that it's a term jacket i sort of made up jackets in there somewhere yeah jaquito it's something i've said in fashion circles. It's a bit more bolero. It's a jaquito. I sound like Matthew McConaughey, a wolf of Wall Street.

It's a fanduzzi. No, it's cropped. It's a little bit more Italian. Oh, it's an element of matador jacket. Yes, you nailed it. Frank, you've absolutely nailed it. Okay. So it's a little jaquito for the dog.

I wouldn't personally, even though I love dogs, as you know, I heart dogs, I worry about the dog jaquitos myself only because dogs in knitwear, it just makes, it's fine when Tom Daley does it. I look a bit like an eccentric widow in Miami. Yeah. That's what worries me. Dogs in knitwear would be a very... Would that be as a website?

There probably is one, isn't there? I'm sure. Specialist interest. I'll tell you what it would work well with. I don't know if I've still got this,

but let's try this. Hold on. Can you keep talking while I'm surfing? Sure. And then the metal pouch out. Hold it. Dogs in knitwear.

Oh, no. I'm sorry.. Hold it. Dog's in it where... Crazy horses. Oh, no. I'm sorry. I'm going to try that again. There used to be one that didn't have the crazy horses. I mean, can I say the jingle board is in disarray. Of course. Dog's in it where... That could be what you get

when you log on I believe the phrase is log on get me I worry about the knitwear on dogs because not for my own dog who doesn't really jump into sort of rivers or streams but some

dogs love the water I don't think wool is a good idea in the water. I'm no expert. Also, my dog's very hushute, as you both know, and sprouting up like a 70s man with the tufts. And the grim irony of Tom Daley's dog drowning. I don't think the media could cope with that as a concept. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio.

This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Emily Dean, Alan Cochran. Text the show 81215. Follow the show. Twitter, Instagram, Frank on the Radio. Email the show via Absolute Radio website. Okay. There you have it.

So you're just sort of editing as you go and choosing the words you like to do. It's a bit of improv. I like to feel that I'm on this show a bit like, you know those, the improvising club singer who does a song and does a message about borderline. Hey, you're going to lose my mind. You keep taking me out of the borderline.

Sorry. Often a sort of rogue that when one is not necessary, just to sort of mix it up. Yes. Taking me to that borderline. Yeah, or sometimes even, you keep forcing me to cross that old borderline. Just a bit of everything.

Oh, borderline, borderline line. Yes, et cetera. Oh, dear. Hey, we've had a bit of gossip from 770, Keith in Sunderland. We were discussing discussing as we occasionally do on the show Albert Pierpoint. Oh yes. Why can't we do normal things like other shows?

Friend of the show. It's a bit late for that. 8.12.15. Why can't we do normal things like other shows? We don't want to do normal. We do some normal things. I like to think it's a nice little knitting public executions. Keith in S normal things. I like to think there's a nice little... Knitting, public executions. Actually, it's a French Revolution theme.

There you go. Keith in Sunderland has said, Albert Pierpoint used to drink in my auntie's pub in County Durham when he was going to hang someone at Durham Prison. He would never shake anyone's hand or talk about what he did for a living. What a pro he was I'm like that before a gig

he was one of those you know always turned up to training peer point never any stories about him outside nightclubs at two o'clock in the night absolutely dedicated pro he really was and also of course as I've said before

when he did shake someone's hand he could guess their weight to within two or three pounds, and that helped him in his ropeage. He's much missed. Well, not to certain families, but... No. Frank, can we please return... To Tom?

I'd like to do a bit of... No, not yet. I would like to do a bit of that. No, not yet. I would like to have a break from Tom. Oh, OK. That's not something his husband, Dustin Lance Black, has fortunately ever said. Dustin Lance Black, though I spend my days in conversation. Please carry on. I would like to return to a subject that came up previously on our show.

turn to a subject that came up previously on our show. You asked people I think it was what they've seen written in dirt on a van. Yes, and I said can we keep it breakfast radio friendly? Not everyone has followed that advice.

What's your view of whether people have followed that advice? Well, some of them have used the word dirty as a sort of a pun that doesn't transfer to broadcast radio. References to wives and all sorts. Oh, that sort of stuff.

So, I'm going to keep it... Some Van Morrison anecdotes. I'm going to keep it clean. Okay. Unlike these van drivers. Paul Follan. Let's leave you with this taster. Okay.

Free Arthur Fowler. About 20 years after he stole that Xmas Club money. Fantastic. I laughed. Because what I love about that, and it's like sometimes you do gags like this on stage, those who get it will love it all the more for the fact they've got it.

And those who don't Google it. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Frank, Flanners has been in touch with a response to things you've seen written on the back of a van in dirt

and it might be one of the finest. I'm going to put it in our... It's got a podium position, I would say this. Flannery says this. I saw this written on the back of a van, of a muddy van. Psalm 51.7. That's all.

Good, because they're people. Yes, exactly. So I looked it up and it said wash me and I shall be whiter than snow. Oh, that is very good indeed. Was that your van? Are you sure?

That is. I saw one I think it was in Birmingham and someone had drawn Johnny Cash in the dirt and it was in Birmingham and someone had drawn Johnny Cash in the dirt and it was a really good, light and really well done drawing. It must have took like, you know, half an hour.

What about this? Daniel Bond? Daniel Bond has got in touch to say on the back of a Fletcher's bakery wagon he saw written written I see bread people. That is good.

That is excellent. At least this has been a rich rich vein. And obviously there are the usual you know the usual suspects. Phil Salmon for example also comes in white.

Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah. A lot of also... I mean, actually, the Psalm one is the most elegant version of clean me I've ever heard of. Yes. I do like clean me, though. I like the sense of the van is actually speaking through the dirt.

I like that. It's got an element of, you know, when people who are hostages manage to get a little bit of paper out the window to a neighbour that says, help me, I'm being helpless. And Joe... I don't want to... Oh, I don't want to change the format, but 457 has said, not exactly dirt on a van,

but under a train sign reading, do not flush whilst the train is in the station, someone had added, unless you're in Woking. Oh. Yeah, I thought... A little bit of small-town rivalry there. Yeah, didn't they have enough trouble with War of the Worlds without that happening?

Wow, and then there was Pizza Express, but let's leave that there. Oh, yes, of course. I'm afraid we all know what's sitting in the Woking chair now. Yeah. Dave Corbett. It used to be West Bromwich Albion losing to Woking in an FA Cup game. Yes, well, fortunately, someone's thrown you a solid in that regard.

Dave Corbett, Frank, has got in touch to say, I changed wash me to Joe swashed me. Oh. I like that. Yeah. Why the hell not? It's better than a sticker as well, if you're going to,

because you don't want a swash sticker on the end of a van. No, you're right. I have a question for both of you. This question to Frank Skinner first. What was the sort of car sticker du jour when you were growing up? I afraid it was it was my other cars of porsche yeah can i tell you what mine was and this may be to do with it was i'm back in enoch

but i don't think we should go into that well is this to do with me growing up in uh London elite, a lot of people had the Solidarnisk, which was a sticker of solidarity for Lech Waleska. Yeah, the Polish trade union. Is that just a sort of North West London thing? Yeah, we didn't have that in the West Midlands. I never saw that one. Alan, any car stickers? I've never heard of it.

I feel like I need to listen to an episode of In Our Time. Did you not have car stickers growing up? We didn't have solid harness. My other car is a Porsche. Oh, yeah, I mean, that's a classic. Of course, you used to have that thing of having a bloke's name and a woman's name on the son thing. What were your names?

I never had that because I never had a girlfriend until I got famous. Wow. Well, that's not quite true, but it was much more difficult, I found, in those days. I don't know why. We could talk about this privately or you could tell everyone. I don't know what changed, really, but it did. It suddenly got much...

Anyway, you don't hear about this while you're having your breakfasts. Have you seen that Nesquik, though, has gone into the breakfast cereal business? You can get Nesquik-flavoured breakfast cereal. Are you drowning and all your thoughts are coming back to you from your entire life? No, it's absolutely true.

The new variety... You know the variety packs, the little packs of cereal? Now they come in cubes and you just pour the milk. You pour the milk into the packy and eat it out of the packy. This is the modern world. Frank Skinner. Absolute radio.

I heard Tom Daley interviewed this morning before I left for this building. And they asked him, he was in the final of the dive in, and he said, yeah, he said, I must say, I said, I made a real dog's breakfast of the semifinal. He said, dog's dinner, he said. I made a real dog's breakfast of the semi-final. He said, dog's dinner, he said. I made a real dog's dinner of the semi-final. He said, okay, it was a semi-gourmet dog's dinner, but it was still a dog's dinner. I didn't even know you could have semi-gourmet. Yeah, but I love this.

Oh, it was a very nice qualification of the thing. I was thinking of the knitting thing. My dad used to knit nets for poaching. Sorry, can you just break that down a little bit more? My dad used to poach rabbits. Oh, a rabbit? Yeah, so what you do is you put the nets over as many holes as you can find and you put a ferret down there.

The rabbits run out and they run into the net okay and then i won't be doing that no but i mean they were eaten it wasn't um it was you know okay um sport but wouldn't it be brilliant if tom daly had been knitting poaching nets at the side of it yeah well you'd have been in the Somewhat jarring. Yeah, I suppose a poaching fish would be... But when he... Imagine him pursuing a big carp through someone's private waters. Oh, God, he's Tom Daley. It would be a bit of fun if he was to do the diving

and just come up to surface with a fish in his mouth. That would be a real talking point. Oh, man. Come on. I should say, do you remember I mentioned my auntie Lorna, who lives in Great Bar? Oh, yes.

She's something of a regular on this show. She used to knit, she knitted me a cardigan, get this, aeroplane on one breast and car on the other. Imagine if I said that. Yeah, well, I mean,

I mean, you know, how else do you explain? All the modes of transport. Yeah, and I heard from... Was there a pedestrian around the belly button area? No, I don't think there was anything in the lower half. I just, I wore my transport on my chest. We had a different, when I was growing up,

my best friend Jane Goldman, who you're familiar with, my childhood best friend and current, but, you know, who you're familiar with, my childhood best friend and current, but, you know, she had her sort of, well, it was actually her grandma, but grandma equivalent figure. She knitted her an Aladdin Sane jumper. Wow.

I don't think Aunty Lorna would have gone down that route. But I heard from Lily, who is Aunty Lorna's granddaughter, and Aunty Lorna's still knitting now, still in Great Bar. So that's a fabulous feeling of family continuity. Can I say something, though, boys? You know, if Tom Daley, the thing about knitting, because I do like the idea of it, but if a young male strapping, let's face it, sportsman does it,

it's quirky and a bit cool. Can you imagine if I got out my needles at an event? I'd respect you for that. No, people would say, you're all right, dear. Do you need a hand? But I tell you, when my mum used to do it, what I loved, and this is something I don't really have in my life now, is the paraphernalia.

I love paraphernalia. That was, I mean, I I'm not don't smoke kids but one of the good things about smoking was you had your lighter your pack in a store and all that you know and I don't have anything

that requires paraphernalia anymore my mum I remember used to have a thing I really admired was a row counter which used to go slot over the needle and she'd turn it

with every new row she knitted I mean it was like it used to go slot over the needle and she'd turn it with every new row she knitted. I mean, it was like... It used to be so easy to buy presents for men. You'd just go to Smoker's Paradise. Yeah, Smoker's Paradise. I don't think you could call it that anymore, could you? But can I say smoking is very bad for you? Terrible.

Don't, don't, don't. Just don't. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Yeah, so that's knitting. We've done knitting now. I always think knitting was popular and then it was ruined by the good life. Oh, really?

Because he used to knit clothes that always looked ridiculous and terrible and that put people off knitting. I think they did a lot of damage. I think you're right there. Yeah, of damage. I think you're right there. Yeah, briars. I think you're right. Briars and candle.

I've never knitted. Briars and candle, enemies of knitting. Sorry, Al. I've never knitted. I've never had a go at it. I tried it. It still never dyed my hair. I would like to say that took open courage for you to admit that today.

Thank you. And I respect you. I, as I say, I like the idea of it and I love a knitwear. But I just think I'm a bit too slapdash. I know what you mean. It's a precision sport. You're a bit Lincoln Cathedral.

You got it. You got it. That's the beauty of me. It's not just Tom Daley that's been in the news this week there's other British athletes have made the headlines

as it were Ben Whittaker a British boxer refused to wear his silver medal on the on the podium and put it in his pocket

and and people have weighed in I mean a lot of ex-athletes like Piers Morgan. Yeah. You know, some actually...

Piers Morgan liked it, didn't he? No, he's not an ex-athlete. No, can we say what the Americans say? Piers. Piers Morgan. Yeah, I tell you what I think about. I think a couple of things. First of all, I noticed he's called Whittaker in all the...

They refer to him as... And then Whittaker, blah, blah, blah. Remember I was making the point last week that Jodie Whittaker is always called Jodie. Oh, yeah. Again, they think they've got a quality, but way to go. So, yeah, that, but also I did think that when I, we got silver, I remember, once in the Sonys,

and they said you have to go to the, whatever it was, the Victoria Principal Suite to collect your certificate for the silver. I didn't go. Well, you also, I can't repeat what you said to me when we were presented with a silver or a bronze or something like that. And let's just leave it here. You said the hard edges made it problematic for you to... Yes.

Yeah. Yes. For you. So I'd say, especially if you're boxing as well, you've just lost the fight. Yes. Yeah. I fell for him.

Did you? Did you explain, by the way, the medal pouch? He knitted a medal pouch, Tom. Tom Daley did knit a medal pouch. Not a boxer. No. Tom Daley said... Couldn't do that with the gloves.

This will come in very handy. I need a pouch. I need somewhere to put my gold, to put my medal, which is lovely. So it's a special limited edition, as in there's only one. That's great. Knitted medal pouch.

So to stop it getting... It's anti-scratch. When I won chap of the year and was given my Planet Hollywood brown and tan leather varsity jacket, I remember I put mine on and Jürgen Klinsmann, who got football of the year at the same awards,

kept his in his carrier bag and went out with the carrier bag. So there's a tradition of this. I think your medal, you do what you like with it. That's what I think. Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute radio.

Absolute radio. Whitaker. We were discussing Whitaker, and we should say that he made the news because he seemed a bit ungracious at winning silver, but he walked it back a day or two after. But when he first was interviewed for putting the silver in his pocket rather than wearing it,

he actually said, you don't win silver, you lose gold. And people thought that was a bit ungracious. I mean, if I did that, if I said I don't want to be on at the chuckle factory I just lost out on the chance to become an arena comic it would seem a bit bitter yeah yeah I think you know if wives did that if my wife said yeah you're all right but I wanted the guy that broke my heart a couple of years before we met it would be it would seem a bit miserable.

Is it James Taylor who said, if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with? That's my... I'll tell you what I think. If he's not happy and feels a certain amount of shame towards the silver, can you please spare a thought for the bronze sharers of the medal yeah i mean come on

oh yeah they had to share the bronze yes and i think what's much more humiliating is that the boxers all have to carry a mini bouquet of sunflowers i like that you see that is like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Let's not forget Susan Boyle was second. And, you know, she went on to greatness. History not always written by the winners. No, One Direction, third. I mean, what? What? One Direction. Well, he did a sweet interview, didn't he? He basically said, didn't he,

look, I was really worked up and upset that I'd lost. I mean, he's a good guy. He up and upset that I'd lost I mean he's a good guy he lives in West Bromwich okay he's from Wolverhampton but people change he said if he loses FIFA for a couple of hours he's not speaking to anyone for an hour he's the bloke you think if he's going to be professional he's the one who's going to be if he's that desperate to win that's going to be a big plus isn isn't it, later? Well, Frank, also, I did think when he said, if he loses FIFA, he doesn't speak to his friend. Can you imagine, Frank, falling out with a close friend,

overplaying a game? Who would do that? Yeah, I could imagine. Could you? Oh, yeah, I could imagine. Yeah, it's happened to me a few times. Yes, it has. No, I like him.

I'm pro Whittaker. I tell you who I like is the Mayor of Wolverhampton. Now you've gone too far. He offered Ben the ceremonial mayoral chain. The Mayor didn't wear the Sir Thomas More robes for his interview. No, not in Wolverhampton. No. He went for the grey suit with the chain, which I quite like that.

Yeah. A sort of business mayor, not party mayor. And what I liked, Frank, he did an interview and he was a bit sort of, he was very proud of his association. I'm not saying he was boastful. No. But he was a little. Okay.

He said, I actually know the family pretty well. And then he said, because of that, I mean, my phone has been ringing non-stop. It's going off now. And I thought, well, that's interesting because who rings with messages of support these days? He doesn't get the texts from there. No, not only that, but if someone wins gold, you think, I don't think I must ring the mayor.

It just seems, what is he, some sort of go-between? Can I say, before we go, I have to mention Sky Brown, who's the 13-year-old girl who got bronze in the skateboarding. I think, without doubt, the currently existing coolest human being. Yes. Listen to this. She lives in Japan and California. She's called Sky Brown. she's got a brother called ocean

and they get up at five o'clock every morning to surf oh man she's amazing she all i thought what else could this girl have done at 13 and then i found out she'd won um the junior dancing with the stars in america oh she did too much. That took her coolest down a little bit. But she was, I'd check her out, check out her skateboarding. It's absolutely, I think Buzz fell in love with her. I was going to say. I said she's too old for you, Buzz.

I see a wedding coming up. Oh, man, she is outstanding. Look, it has been Olympic week, I think, on the show. I'm still, if I'm going to go back on show highlights, for me it's still going to be that psalm on the dirty van. That was special. But it's been lovely, a fabulous interaction from you guys out there. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thanks for listening to us this morning, as ever. I love it. And if the good Lord spares us and the creaks don't rise, which is not out of the question at the moment, by the way, we'll be back this time next week. Now get out. This is Frank Skinner.

This is Absolute Radio.