The Frank Skinner Show - Phantom of the Lantern

Episode Date: April 13, 2024

Frank Skinner's on Absolute Radio every Saturday morning and you can enjoy the show's podcast right here. The Radio Academy Award winning gang bring you a show which is like joining your mates for a coffee... So, put the kettle on, sit down and enjoy UK commercial radio's most popular podcast. This week Frank has been to Copenhagen and seen the Little Mermaid statue. The team also discuss Rishi's Samba-gate, band t-shirts and our move to the Lantern.

This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. You can text the show on 81215, follow us on X and Instagram at frankontheradio. Email via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. Our first ever show from the luxurious building that absolute has just moved to um i don't seem to have a pigeon hole i noticed in the uh i don't work out why that is as we came in all of the people on reception uh crossed themselves yeah Yeah, exactly. And we were escorted to the studio this morning. Well, we have Robbie with us today,

who works for Absolute, and we've known for a very long time, but he's rattling keys like an old jailer. And there's a telltale bulge of a pistol in his jacket. But I've got to say, it's a very nice, I like it. It's very deluxe. OK, I'm not the estate agent. Yeah, OK. I don't need touxe. Okay, I'm not the estate agent. Yeah, okay.

I don't need to know. Yeah, I'm actually making bread. I'm trying to sell it. And I have already alarmed Pierre Novelli by looking out the window and saying, I think that's mother-in-law's tongue. Yeah. What is that, please?

Well, there's a pot plant. You probably can't call it that anymore, so can I apologise? But as has been much publicised, I'm an old men commander. You should just wear a t-shirt saying, can I apologise? I mean, if I go out of this studio to go, this is an enormous building, I should tell you. If I go out of here to the toilet, I might live in the lantern as like the Phantom of the Lantern just appearing there and again

to teach young girls how to do radio. Maybe not. I'm thinking maybe not. The Lantern Phantom. Meanwhile. Exactly. Phantom of the Lantern actually sounds... Quite good.

Yeah, Phantom of the Lantern, I know, I know. It's dubious. So, mother-in-law... As I understand it, there is a tong... Not a tong. There is a plant with sharp, pointy leaves, which was known as mother-in-law's tong. There'll be a Latin name.

Mardre... Mardre, Tongue. Tongue as mother-in-law-ess. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, there'll be that. What's the Latin name for a gorilla? My favourite Latin name of all. Oh, what is it? Gorilla, gorilla.

So good. Make an effort. So good, they named it twice. Make an effort, Romans. Oh, by the way, on the subject of age, I have never felt older in my life than I did this week. I was in Copenhagen with Pierre Novelli and Omar Khan. I bet Pierre.

Did he go down very well in Copenhagen? Well, people walk up to Pierre and speak to him in Danish assuming that he's of the Viking breed. It's one of the few places where I'm presumed to be from there. How does he deal with it? I bet he can sort of get by. Well, as you see, he's brusque. Yeah.

I'd say that's his general manner. Anyway, you were made to fill oil because? Because in one of the major squares in, I don't mean the very straight people who live there. I mean, in one of the very many beautiful squares in Copenhagen, there is what I believe is described as Denmark's tallest bench. And it's a bench that's really, it's as high as, it's probably what, eight foot high?

It certainly requires climbing to sit on. It's definitely up there. Well, it did require, and we thought, wouldn't it be great? The gig was over. It was like getting on for midnight probably. And we thought, wouldn't it be great to just sit on this bench? We'll go sit on the tall bench. So Omar and his pink Doc Martens went up there,

scurried up there like a marma set. And then I just couldn't get up. I just couldn't get up there. And Pierre had to do, you know, one of those stirrups you do with your hand, the get up. I just couldn't get up there. And Pierre had to do, you know one of those stirrups you do with your hand? The leg up. He had to do that for me. So humiliating.

I know, totally humiliating. And then I realised, we sat talking and there was young, handsome Danish men. One guy went past on a bike and just really laughed at the three of us sitting there. Sitting on our tall bench bench dangling our legs. I mean, he really just couldn't, he couldn't get enough.

I thought he was going to crash the bike. He cycled past on whatever the Copenhagen equivalent of a lime bike is. Yeah. So he went to one and just went,

oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. Exactly. Exactly. I love him. I love that man. But then I realised, I mean, it was real lovely up there and we talked.

I think I explained who Daniel Johnston was to Pierre, who was a singer. Because the good thing is he's trapped. Yeah, exactly. Well, I certainly was trapped because then I realised I couldn't get off. And what I had to do is I had to get Pierre to get off and I had to climb onto his back to get off. I mean, oh, my God.

I think we can safely say that maybe Absolute was right. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Yeah, we had a good time in Copenhagen. I took Omar to Mass on Sunday. Oh, were you busy, Pierre? I was. One hour, 20 minutes, all in Danish. Yep. I mean, I know the plot. He earns his money that way, doesn't he? He does. I said, just drop me at the door when he came in, but I did feel sorry for him. Can I ask, Frank, sorry to be ignorant, but are you allowed, like, can I just go with you then? Oh, anyone can go.

You're all welcome. Yeah. As long as you don't go up and take the host. What would happen if you did that? Well, if he'd done that, I'd have to wrestle him to the ground on the way. Like, get it out of his mouth. Oh, well, I wouldn't let him get that far.

Get my Holy Communion out of your goddamn mouth. I'd have to do my very best to knock him out before he got up to the altar. Get my gold spread. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's true. But I think he might be on the Atkins.

God? No. No. Omar. What happens to the Atkins? What happened to the Hay diet? Do you remember that? No, they're on the Ozempic now.

Oh yes, much easier, isn't it? Everyone on the Atkins diet had a heart attack, I think. Did they? The problem went away on its own. That must have thinned things out a little. He died of a heart attack, the actual Dr Atkins. Mr Atkins. He spent his whole life saying,

you see, I've had all this butter and it's perfectly fine. Yeah. Gone. Oh. Not a good advert. No. Hoisted by his own tart. Yeah, his own pate.

Yeah, his own duck pate. So, on the church front, after we did our gig, me and Pierre did our gig in Copenhagen at the Bremen Theatre. The Bremen Theatre. It was very nice. It was, as you say, a 50-50 sort of expats and Danes. We went to a thing called the night church, the three of us,

which stays open till 11 o'clock at night. Or even later. Is it later? Hang on, had Omar already done an hour 20 mass? Yeah, but this was a thing because you don't get many churches now that stay open because of the youths. Answer the question, Minister.

Had Omar done one hour 20 mass in the morning? Yeah, but this wasn't a service. This was a Protestant church. Okay. So, you know. More or less a boss stop. No, no, no.

But in this, very different. The seating, you faced each other. You know, anyone who has ever travelled on the London Underground will be aware of that line up where you sit and face.

It's like that. And they had cushions. I thought the Protestants were supposed to be a bit more, you know, North European tough guys. These are practical Lutherans. It was like being we were on the love train. In a way. It was kind of like a Greek temple as well, wasn't it?

All colonnades and things. Where does the man who talks to you, or lady, do they... People all over the world, join. Is that one of the worst scanning lines in the history of popular music? People all over the world. People all over the world. Join hands. Guys, I'm not sure it's working.

It'll be fine. No one will notice. Let's take a syllable out. I've done it now. it'll be fine no one will notice let's take a syllable out I've done it now 8, 12, 15

what are the worst scanning lines in popular music is there anything worse than people all over the world oh giant hands and then

just to make up the line on the love train what we're going to do with the last two syllables love train no we've completely unevenly spread these yeah it was um but you know my

feelings on she's broke but it's okay it's california sort it out frank it's a mess on absolute radio let's hear what we did of course when we were in wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen. We went and saw the Little Mermaid. Oh, how is she? Everyone says when you go to see the... In case you don't know, it's a very famous statue. I would say it's up there with Tueur de Eiffel.

Is that what they call it? Is that what the French call it? Tueur Eiffel. Is that what they call it? Is that what the French call it? The Tour Eiffel. I think Copenhagen is symbolised by the Little Mermaid statue. And everyone says, I was warned on the night by a Danish lady in a bar. But that's another story. No, no, sorry.

She said to me, it'll be a lot smaller than you think. You said, that's my line. I said, well, she's called the Little Mermaid. That's part of the clue. Anyway, so she wasn't much more than I thought. But the thing about the Little Mermaid, she looks desperately sad. She's the saddest statue I've ever seen. sad. She's the saddest statue I've ever seen.

And she actually had fate that enhanced her melancholy by giving her a bird excrement tear. Oh, the pigeons. Yeah, but it's a just, well, seagulls, just coming from

the corner of the eye. Imagine if you're so sad, you cry bird excrement. The most unluckiest person. Exactly. Stranger in version of the weeping Madonna. Exactly.

Bird excrement tear sounds like one of the Nisha bands you might put on. Yeah, exactly. But you see, I rather like that. Sorry, the sort of, the darkness of the fairy tale before Disney got involved and sanitised everything. The Little Mermaid was quite a tragic character. Well, I've never read it. There's a statue of Hans Christian Andersen who wrote it,

which has got very shiny thighs because people sit on his lap for a photo opportunity. We didn't know. Yeah, so they've took the... No, we didn't know. Shiny thighs. Remember I told you i saw a guy in edinburgh who was publicizing his show which was called hans christian anderson and he was doing like a little five minute plug for it at this thing and he said yes i'm playing hans christian anderson because well i always felt i had to play him because people tell me i look like him and And I thought, no, they absolutely don't.

So people get on the bus and say, don't look now, but is that Hans Christian Andersen on the back seat? Anyway, what shocked me about the little... She's quite leggy, the little mermaid. Oh, dear. She's got quite a lot more leg than fin, if you know what I mean. Okay.

But hang on. Immediately I'm worried about this. How can she have legs at all? Well, she's got legs, but it looks like she's wearing sort of tuna flares, if you can imagine that. Hang on. So you mean it's not a clean fin? It's the mermaid thing is nuanced. If you can imagine that. Hang on, so you mean it's not a clean fin?

It's the mermaid thing is nuanced. She's got culottes? What is going on here? Is it like her legs have been bitten by two big long eels? No. Up to the thigh. No, it's like she's got tuna flares on. He's very committed to the tuna flares. You can see the shape of the leg, but you can see like the... Scales.

Frank, stop trying to make uniflare happen. It's not a thing. We don't know it. Well, that's what it looks like. I'm going to show you a picture in a minute. You might even be able to see the bird poo tear. But yeah, so she looks to me like she could, for example, climb stairs. Oh.

In a sort of a sack race kind of a way. You know that sack race, toes in the corners of the sack walking? Oh, I hate that. It'd be an awful sound to hear the little mermaid go lumping up your stairs. Oh, I know it would. Oh, you say that. You'd love it if she could.

Covered in bird poo tears. You'd hear it and then go after it and say, how did a bird get in here? And a fish. Yeah, exactly. What's happened here? Nature has manifested on our stairwell. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio.

I have posted pictures of me with the little mermaid to illustrate my points. It's clarified for us that she's wearing sort of fishy boots almost. Well, I was told tuna flares wasn't good enough, but fishy boots is fine. If you've seen the imagery, I might give you tuna flares. Oh, thank you. Okay. So, yes, what larks we had there.

Me and Omar rode the metro, and the metro in Copenhagen has no driver. So we sat in the front seat, and you can pretend you're driving. They've got fake controls on the desk for children to press buttons and do that so we of course we did that fun stickers yeah and it reminded me of um i used to drive i used to me and my mom would get the bus on a saturday into old britain center in order to shop and i had a stick on steering wheel which I used to put on the seat in front of me on the bus and and like believe I believed I was steering the bus there was a like

a little brake on it and stuff and I mean very much like life yeah you think you're steering but in fact it's just a stick on steering wheel. Or life. Another badly scanning lyric, Frank. Life. Or life. Or life. I think that one's all right.

I don't mind that one. It's better than people all over the world. What about 597? Hi, Frank, Emily and Pierre. There's a line in Toto's Africa. Of course, we all know this one. What do we feel about that line? This is the most famous one.

Simon of Sudbury has put this forward, which is as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti. Or Serengeti. Yeah. Pierre, perhaps could answer. I don't like the idea. Why Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus? You can't compare a mountain to another mountain.

Just say Kilimanjaro rises above the Serengeti. All right. Come on, Toto. All right, mountain pedant. Hey, it's our national anthem. You've got to take it seriously. Toto's Africa. He should be free to go mention.

Roger Whittaker's I'm Going to Leave Old Durham Town says when I was a boy I spent my time sitting on the banks of the River Tyne which doesn't actually run through Durham so if you've moved can you add that to the thing? I didn't live in Durham then but now I'm gonna leave

just like I left Newcastle where I lived when I was a child great whistler though one of the great whistlers. Who's the top whistler in current popular music? I know the answer, there ain't one. Why, there ain't one, Mr. Holmes.

Nobody whistles anymore, Mr. Holmes. It's a dying answer. What was the last whistling hit? Young Folks. Whistling in a song. Billy Joel does a lot of whistling. Does he? Peter, Peter,

Bjorn and John. Young folks. I don't know. I don't know what. Are you just saying words? Stop going on about your Scandinavian friends you picked up. Yeah. We don't want to know.

What happens on tour? Jealous guy, John Lennon. Lovely. Yeah, but it is. It's, it's a dying art.

I can't see Taylor Swift whistling, can you? Do you know, I was on the phone to Daisy Knight. She used to work on this show. Daisy Knight. That's a great song. Dance to the boogie. And I couldn't hear her because of her partner's whistling in the background. Oh, my goodness.

And I had to say, I'm really sorry, Daisy, but could you tell your partner to stop whistling? Because it's really irritating. Well, there was a stage whistler called Ronnie Renald, and that was all he did. He just got on stage and whistled. I mean, beautifully. I've got an album of it somewhere.

But, yeah, I can't see him. Why do people whistle all the time? I like it. It makes me feel like my child. I like to whistle. Oh, why are you laughing at me? I always say there's a lot of radio shows, but if you replaced everything said with whistling,

the experience wouldn't really be any different. We'll soon find out. Yeah, exactly. Frank Skinner. Absolute radio. Frank, I owe you an apology. Oh. No, not for that. Oh.

Lee has been in touch. Pierre, over to you. Dear Frank and team, Emily obviously doesn't know her fishing paraphernalia. The shame. I've often said that. Doesn't know her fishing paraphernalia. The shame. I've often said that.

The two-ounce tuna flare is an excellent choice for a skirt over your ballyhoo. Speak for yourself. Yeah, it's good to have a skirt over your ballyhoo, even if it's only just, well, skirting it. Especially on the riverbank. Oh, God, yeah. It's an excellent choice for a skirt over your ballyhoo when you are trolling for tuna, mahi and other pelagic species. What does pelagic mean? Does anyone know?

It's a certain depth of sea. So I've looked up... Pelagic zone. I've googled the two-ounce tuna flare. Oh, yeah. And other things I probably won't be saying in the future. I've googled the two-ounce tuna flare and it does seem to be... And other things I probably won't be saying in the future. I've Googled the two-ounce tuna flare,

and it does seem to be... Oh, we're in the new studio. I've just done something I vowed I'd never do. I hit the sensitive mic. I do apologise. It's very sensitive. It's so sensitive, Frank. It is. I've Googled the two-ounce tuna flare.

Frank, you're right. I can only say it looks exactly like the legs of the Little Mermaid. There you go. Legs slash fin. We've put up pictures of the Little Mermaid illustrating both the tuna flares and the bird excrement tier. Just in case you think I just make stuff up. Yes.

How much would you pay, Frank, do you think, for a fish-down-sea, two-ounce tuna flare, Ballyhoo skirt? I'm going to go $13.50. You're pretty much bang. It's $17.99. That's not far off. Good instincts when it comes to Ballyhoo skirts. Who knows?

Tuna flares. Fish in paraphernalia. That's what I like. I'll tell you what. Oh, sorry. I was just going to say, Liam Taunton says, good morning, Frank and team. Especially paraphernalia. That's what I like. I'll tell you what. Oh, sorry. I was just going to say, Liam Taunton says,

good morning, Frank and team. I believe the Little Mermaid statue is supposed to depict a mermaid becoming human, hence the leg. So it's like the regeneration of the Doctor, just put it in terms you'd understand. Oh, yeah. So she's caught mid-transference. Yes.

Yeah. Okay. Well, OK. Oh, I didn't know that. Why is she so upset then? She's going to get her earthly prince. My reading of the... She misses the crab. Yeah, I think that's what happened.

She sent some sort of snappy snaps and it hadn't come back. I seem to remember in the OG Little Mermaid, which, as I say, was much darker and, frankly, better. What does OG stand for? Well, in these terms, OG I'm using as a generic all-purpose original gangster. Oh, I see. Okay. So the OG Little Mermaid, there was a great price to be paid, I'm afraid. For coming to Earth.

She would always have a sort of ghost sensation of not being able to use her fin anymore. It would be, I mean, terrible pain involved. It was quite dark. Oh, really? Yes, yeah.

Oh, dear. I might, how long is it? Hans Christian, he looked not such a friendly bloke on the bus. That would be a nice text in. How long is the little mermaid?

That's not what I was going to ask. How long is the Little Mermaid? That's not what I was going to ask. How long is the story I meant, not her actual death. Toe to tail. I know it wouldn't be from toe to tail, it'd be from head to tail. Well, you'd hang her up on a hook and sort of take a photo next to her.

Oh, no. Disgusting, man. Imagine the pangs of nostalgia when she put fishnets on. This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli.

You can text the show on 81215, follow us on X and Instagram at frankontheradio. Email via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. Yes, yes, yes. What else? 119 says, Surely Frank must remember his wonderful mermaid joke about her measurements.

Well, it wasn't my joke. What I said was one of the great jokes of all time was actually killed by decimalisation. Oh, right. Because the joke was, I went out with a mermaid once, fabulous figure, 36, 24 and three and six a pound. Oh. Now, I've had to add, I've had to add for a start-off fabulous figure

because in the old days, if you said 36, 24, three and six a pound, people would immediately know you were talking about what they used to call women's vital statistics. Do you remember that? They used to say on Miss World, and this is Miss Honduras, 36, 24, 36. So that would be a measurement. It's unbelievable.

That's how, they would literally sign them up without giving them a name. So they were Miss and then the name of the country and then their measurements. Yeah. Yeah vital vital yeah absolutely vital it's vital i tell you this there's no time for anything else well who is this woman there's no time i've got to tell you the vital information i need is how big are your hips they got got interviewed as well. At your nation of birth, that's the most I can cope with. Where were you born? Size of hips. Yeah, it wasn't just the hips.

Anyway, it didn't work. Apologies. Well, look, it wasn't just the hips. You would, so you would change, if you tried to change three and six a pound into modern money, it just didn't work. The rhythm didn't work. And also these women were always 36, 24, 36.

That was just stock. So, yeah, it was a fine joke in its day, but no longer with us. No, I'm afraid, like Miss World. No longer with us. Miss World, I think, still happens, but it happens a long way away and there's a good deal of talk about helping poor people on it. And I bet the people involved are lovely. The finest people, the best people.

Wasn't Donald Trump involved with Miss World? I can only think of the Morleys, Eric and Julia, who were always involved with it. So Mike has got in touch to say sorry to drag the show back a few minutes. Okay. That's all right. We're talking about Miss World. We've dragged it back five decades.

I'm afraid rewind is all we've got left. But carry on, Mike. Mike says, Patience by Guns N' Roses had whistling in the intro. I just thought Guns N' Roses might be something your son's area a bit,

or is it commercial for him, Guns N' Roses? Oh, no, he loves Guns N' Roses. Does he? Does have whistling, yes. Well, I remember Buzz rather brilliantly referred to him as Rose.

Do you remember, Frank, he was watching him once and he said the thing about Rose. About Ax as Rose. Do you remember, Frank? He was watching him once and he said the thing about Rose. About Axel Rose. I'm on Jonathan Rossi's show tonight with Perrie Edwards, amongst others, from Little Mix. And she showed a picture of her.

You know, she's engaged to Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. I do know this. And they were with their child and she said, oh, that's us with Axel. And I said, hold on. Is he named after Axel Rose? And she said, yeah, I love rock music. And my dad was in a rock band in the northeast.

Oh, they'd be nice friends for you and Kath. Yeah. Well, he lives in Turkey. So, you know, as I said, that's how to make a relationship last. She laughed. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio.

Well, I don't know what to make of this. We've had a message from Mark Ottawa. Yeah. And Mark Ottawa says, do you ever come to Canada? Provincial reader, first time correspondent. Well, I've done the Montreal Festival a couple of times. Just for laughs.

Just for laughs. Canceled this year. I didn't do it just for laughs. It was cancelled this year. Just for laughs. I was like, oh, God. Yeah, why? No money.

Oh, dear. They didn't have a loony to their name. Well, yeah, they'll be back now. Yeah. Whereas some people are being cancelled this year. Forgotten forever. Yeah, exactly. OK, Frank, meanwhile, are you going to Canada?

They should have a statue of me outside Absolute Light, the little mermaid with a bird excrement to you. Ruth Jordan says, I reckon the lantern needs a statue of Frank Emilian Pierre for the courtyard brackets. The lantern sounds posh enough to have a courtyard. And Ruth's absolutely got the measure of the building. Has it got a courtyard?

Well, it's got an atrium. Oh, as long as it's got an atrium. It'd be weird having the statue outside, though, and I'm begging next to it. Oh, dear. So the answer is you do, you will be coming to Canada maybe at some point in the future. I love, I love the Montreal Festival.

It's great. And I did Toronto. I did, I think it was the hall where Johnny Cash proposed to June Carter on stage. Okay. And the best thing that happened to me in Toronto, I sat in the town square, city square, and they put a massive screen up and showed Blade Runner,

the first Blade Runner. So I watched it in the middle of this, you know, this metropolis with planes flying over above. That's great. It was fantastic. Can I say that I bought, I went to the dentist this week with my child. Oh, yes. Is this your showbiz dentist?

Yes, my dentist is an old friend of mine who was actually a comedian. He was a comedian. He was on the first gig I ever did. He was on The Bill. Really? And he's been my mermaid, my dentist ever since. He's never been my mermaid.

No. Well, never's a big word. So Boz has got, his teeth are a little bit higgled-eye, piggled-eye, as the song says. Oh, yeah. So he's got to have an extender fitted, which you go inside the roof of the mouth and push the teeth out.

I've got one fitted in my stomach, which you may have noticed. But he was very brave in the chair. So there's a shop across the road that sells rock-themed T-shirts. So I bought him a Green Day T-shirt. He's very partial to... That's as close as I can get. And Kat said, I'd really like a T-shirt as well.

She's my partner. So she said, I want this one. It was Ron DMC. Oh. I said, do you like Ron? She said, no, not really, but I really like the fabric. Oh. And I saw, remember I told you once,

Blur sent me a T-shirt and I was wearing it in the street and I saw Jodie Whittaker of Doctor Who fame and she said, oh, how was the gig? Was it good? I said, I didn't go. And she said,

oh. I said, I'm not, I don't mind Blur but I'm not a big fan. And she said, but you're wearing a t-shirt. And I said, yeah, it was free.

So I just thought it was a nice t-shirt. And I thought, well, it's fine now. It's a nice t-shirt, good blue. But then when I saw Cathy in T-shirt. And I thought, well, it's fine now. It's a nice T-shirt, good blue. But then when I saw Kath in the Run DMC, I thought, this is wrong. You're not... I'd like to ask our readers,

would you be happy to wear a banned T-shirt of a band that you didn't really love? Okay. And do you mean dislike or ambivalence? Well, I just, you know, I think you're really saying I love the thing on my chest. Yeah.

Oh, dear. I don't mean that wart thing. I mean the T-shirt. Oh. You know that wart thing. Thank you, Frank. Just put... Let's go to the...

Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. So... We were talking earlier, or you referred, Frank, Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. So. We were talking earlier, or you referred, Frank, to people wearing band T-shirts of bands they don't have any affinity to or necessarily even heard of. Yeah, I suppose that could happen even. Well, I once wore, my own experience of this is I was once guilty of wearing an Aqua pufferer jack sleeveless puffer

oh in the 90s hello barbie let's go party they were they were early to the part that particular party when they're the barbie party they got there early and it had two sort of droplets of water not used on the soundtrack no no that's a good point. It's astonishing. There was that whole Barbie hit song, karaoke favourite, ready to go. Was it because the Ken in the song is sort of indefinably Scandinavian sounding? Well, I think they've so reframed Barbie now. They wanted something, you know, to reflect the modern Barbie. Fresh.

Yes. Barbie fresh. Barbie fresh. So anyway, I had an aqua puffer jacket sleeveless puffer did you say there was a bit of water on it yeah

to represent aqua yeah oh that's good oh bless you they got you both at the same time yeah two droplets on it

and I rather liked it I'd been gifted it by a record company remember back in the day Frank, you got a lot of record company merch back then. Well I was at a karaoke once and I sang

I sang a Carpenter's song with a lady who sang with Beautiful South I think. Yes. And she was Feet, I think. Feet in F-E-A-T dot in Beautiful South. And we sang Close to You or something of that nature.

Oh, yeah. But the guy from Barbie was there and he got up and did Barbie. He did his bit, you know, hello Barbie, let's go. And missed his cue a couple of times on it, which was really horrifying. But anyway, she was one of the first celebrities

who had a bogus death, who I remember. Oh, did she? Yeah, they said, oh, she's died, and they hushed it up, and it went all round. Everyone said, oh, she's dead, and she wasn't. I think Diana Ross was one of the... Oh. And Paul McCartney, obviously, the famous one.

Who'll be next? Who'll be next to fake Di? Yeah. Yeah. So, Iona Faz says, I see young students walking around in T-shirts with band names like Metallica and Offspring on. But deep down, I know they've gone to a popular online store and blindly selected something from the vintage rock band section.

Yeah, well, I said to my... It's fashion, not passion. Oh, good point. I said to my cleaner, oh, do you like the Ramones? Relatable. I said, do you like the Ramones? And she said, who are they? I said, have you read the Ramones? Relatable. I said, do you like the Ramones? And she said, who are they? I said, have you read your sweatshirt?

So, yeah. The Ramones is probably, they sit in the chair, don't they? I would say. The T-shirt most worn by those who have no idea who they are. Yeah, I'd say Ramones possibly, oh, the Rolling Stones tongue, people will wear that because it's stylish. And also Nirvana I see quite a bit.

I was going to say, Nirvana is creeping in. There was something famously, did you see online, where some young person had said, all these middle-aged people going around wearing Nirvana T-shirts. Who else is going to wear them? Quite. I don't think they knew who the band were just a cool brand yeah yeah yeah there you go okay but i still i don't think i

could wear someone i didn't know i didn't i didn't i couldn't go blur again and i don't mind blur but wow frank skinner frank skinner absolute radio okay do you think that this whimsical attitude to t-shirt names of bands i mean ramones nirvana etc is a side effect of the long-standing and i think we've discussed this a long time ago gibberish names on t-shirts in general oh yes like um 1976 softball summer camp yeah oregon state yeah uh oh yeah eugene county chicago cable company 1924 yeah i saw a terrible it was like 1984 and then it said Bananas by Boat. And there was a lot going on there. Yeah. I thought, why 1984? I didn't have it, but I saw someone wearing it.

There was a girl that used to wear it. And I thought, why have you picked 1984? What is the lighter side of the book? Yes, there's a lot going wrong, but you can get Bananas by Boat. So that is something Big Brother has done for us. It's always a cargo reference. By boat. So that is something Big Brother has done for us.

There's always a cargo reference. It's often a sense of industry and the glory of labour. Lots of the ones I've seen are just Midwest sporting team building exercise T-shirts. Sort of softball experience, 1993. Sometimes you get the ones often bought at a market whilst on holiday, which might have a random date, and Los Angeles nights. Yes, yes. You might get that sometimes. I was talking to a make-up woman who had worked with,

what was the Lovejoy actor? Ian McShane. Ian McShane. And she said he insisted on a fresh box, fresh Fruit of the Loom T-shirt every filming day. Wow. Yeah. quite the collection you've built up your drawers are bursting got a lot of makeup on the neck who's the rapper there is a rapper isn't there who famously wears socks once and throws them away yeah oh jay z yes jay z as i S-J-C, that's it. Jay Zed, as I like to call him. He wears box fresh trainers every day.

But I understand that he gives the one day worn trainers to charity for auctions and things. So he ain't all bad. Yeah. Let's not go into his problems or lack of them. His performance. But maybe that's what we've trained. It's all right, Beyonce. We're not interested in him. No. Calm down, dear. It's that's what we've trained. But it's alright, Beyonce.

We're not interested in him. Calm down, dear. It's fine. No one wants him. I always felt he only got engaged to Beyonce because he couldn't resist the rhyme of Beyonce and fiance. This is the whole thing of like, keep your hands off my man. We don't want him.

No, no. Okay. If you liked him, then you should have put a ring on him. Well, you can't do that now to people. No. No. Whilst we're on the subject

of trainers, boys. What if it was a ring on his... Stop it, Frank. The ring and the thing of his nose. No, I was thinking about the owl and the pussycat.

Oh, you love the owl and the pussycat. Some of your favourites. It's in a field of mud, a piggy wig stood with a ring through the end of his nose. His nose, his nose. Anyway. Whilst you're on the subject of trainers,

I would like to discuss Mr Sunak. Yes. Oh, yes. I don't know if he gets called that in the manner of Mr Stiltskin. Do you mean the coolest guy in town? Coolest guy in town. And what's being now referred to as Sambagate. Yes.

Did you see this? I did. It's quite a big story this week. Yeah, we should say that Rishi Sunak, the Prime Minister, was interviewed by I don't know who or on what subject. Financial influencer on his Instagram. This is what we've come to.

And he was wearing a pair of Adidas Sambas trainers, which I must admit I'd never heard of. But when I did Jonathan Ross's show, the researcher was wearing Sambas trainers. Would you call them Sambas? I suppose so. Sambas. Sambas, okay.

And someone said to him, ha ha, you won't be able to wear those anymore because they've been spoiled by the Prime Minister. And that was when I first come across the story. I'm just so relieved he stayed away from my signature Stan Smith. But we'll get on to that.

But yeah, I tell you I think Barack Obama wore Stan Smith to an event yeah and he's safe with him yeah he's slightly

he's one of those cool politicians yeah I'm never quite sure about that as a concept you didn't need to say that I think I could tell that from your face

it's only readable oh fair enough one of those cool politicians you don't say it show it frank skinner frank skinner absolute radio so we're discussing sambagate rishi sunak was interviewed by a financial influencer budgeting mom i think her name is. Budgeting Mum. Who I noticed was wearing New Balance trainers herself

in the interview. We were talking about budget last night because Pierre was explaining to me that it's used to mean... If you're a man of means in South Africa, you have budget. If you've got access to serious funds, if you're doing well. These people have budget.

Yeah, he's okay. He's got budget. This guy's got budget. Oh, it doesn't quite work over here. It doesn't sound as grand. No. Joe Annis, who was on Jonathan Ross last night from Strictly, said, I won't do the accent. No.

But he said, you know, he's trying to get more munch. And that's his South African term for money. Which I had not heard much. I need to make more munch. Munch, yeah. Fair enough. There are a few camper words in munch. Yeah, well, give it to why he says it.

So Rishi has been accused, he's had to issue an apology this week. He was accused of making them, there were words used like criminally uncool. A shoe historian got involved at one point. Do you mean a sicko? Elizabeth Semmelheim. Some sort of sicko. A shoe historian. What a great job.

That is a man who's been caught with a shed full of women's shoes. He's trying to go, no, no, I'm a historian. I'm a man of letters. I'm writing a special book on the shoes. That's why I have to spend all this money on the shoes. It's for my project. To think he knows tongues. Mother-in-law tongues.

It's a shoe joke. I know, Frank. Frank, can I ask you a question? While we're on the subject of the shoe historian, what's your favourite shoe in history? I'll give you some time to think about it. I'll tell you something about I really notice people's shoes

more than anything they wear. I used to really judge people's personalities by their shoes. And I also have a theory that people who have more than about five or six pairs of shoes have one pair which they have never felt

fully confident in wearing. And I have a pair, a camper shoe called the Beetle. And it's very round at the toe. And it's also, it's got an elasticated lace. Neither slip-on nor lace-up, but some terrifying hybrid. Are you worried that you've missed your youthful window to wear it? No, when I wear them, I think people think I might have got them on prescription. But I've got a picture of them, actually.

I might put them on. But I've never felt... And it's something I really like about their width. You know, you can really, you feel like the Little Mermaid might be able to wear them. Oh, I love a Cornish pastiche. Oh, it really, they flatten out. As I call them, a literary festival shoe. Yeah, they look like if there was a pair of pointy slip-ons that Salvador Dali had painted

and they'd gone into like a puddle. Yes, I love that. Anyway, I put a picture up of them and I sort of like them, but I'm ashamed to wear them. Really, I wish you could help me to find a way through it all. Okay. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio.

Open brackets for the moment. Close brackets. I'm with Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. Text the show on 8-12-15. Follow us on Instagram at frankontheradio. Email via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. I won't miss that. Wow. uk i won't miss that wow we're talking about rishi sunak who wore some apparently fashionable trainers and has since made them unfashionable like me and pierre was talking about um well basically not getting

sponsorship but that's a different story and pierre said i'd be fine you know doing that thing they used to do in America where you actually say, welcome to Colgate's comedy hour. Yeah. And I said, Colgate's probably the least likely people to want to sponsor me. You've got to get that Skinner guy on board.

Yeah, people are saying, hold it, that's what your teeth look like if you use Colgate. It's like when Holland and Barrett asked me not to carry their carrier bags in public. We have you in a demographic our marketing department label non-supplement user. Yes, exactly. No wheatgrass juice. So Rishi, I think Rishi's problem, if I may be so bold,

was that he picked the wrong trainer oh okay I think the thing about your samba similar to the Stan Smith is that it's a very they're very vocal the fans it's quite a pure fan base is it okay

I think so because they're originally sort of football terrorists where yeah they've got an authenticity about them so I think he just jumped on the wrong bandwagon. Okay? And I think also they're very associated

with the creative industries, whereas he's a bit more brunch with Hugo. The trouble is... Do you know what I mean? He's a bit more Goldman Sachs. That's it. Well, he's a finance bro. He's a finance bro.

He's more... He's not mate. He's mate. But hold on. Rishi Shuley represents a minority which we've always championed on this show, and that is Short King. Yes.

He is a real Short King. So shouldn't we be happy that a Short King has got the chutzpah to wear a pair of fashionable trainers? I'll tell you what I felt about Rishi is where he lost me was when he did, he overcooked the defence. They always do this, liars. So when he was questioned, he felt the need to apologise. I like the apology.

He's not apologised for many things, but he has apologised for wearing the adidas. I thought there was quite a sweet comedy irony in the, because he actually said, I issue a fulsome apology. Yes. But what he did is, like the Lord himself, he giveth and then he taketh away. Yeah.

Because he then said, although I am a long-time devotee of Adidas. And you think... Look, it was a good idea, the apology, but then don't try and claw it back and say, actually, I am an authentic trainer wearer.

Well, Frank, he made the classic mistake. It was the liar's mistake. Ooh. Too much scenery. Can't say that about a politician. What he did was he said, well, actually,

I got given these since my brother got me many Christmases ago. I've been wearing them ever since always too much scenery yeah there was too much they tell you too much it's like when I lied someone said how come you've seen life of Brian you're only nine I said my dad I hired a projector for his birthday and uh it's too much info but they'll do anything to avoid being you know remember when Gordon Brown say hi I like the Arctic monkeys.

Yeah. And everyone went, no, you don't. You're Gordon Brown. Yeah. I'd rather you didn't like them. No. I'd rather you listen to classical music. There's always musicians in the press

asking Trump not to play their music at rallies. Yeah. What did he play? Oh, for his departure, he played Eye of the Tiger. Oh, was he? Oh, yes. Well, and Reagan used to do his campaigning

with Born in the USA. He'd come out to that and Bruce Springsteen had to be like, it's ironic. It's about... Yeah, he doesn't... It's bad.

It's an anti-Vietnam War song. What I like about Trump is all of the music he favours is very WrestleMania. Yes. Well, but Trump, what about the

never surrender high tops that Trump brought out? Gold trainers with the American flag and a big T on for Trump. He's got such Saddam Hussein brain.

Yes. Donald Trump. What shoe would be the best shoe? Well, of course, a gold shoe. With my name on it. A golden shoe. And the American flag. Yes. Donald Trump. What shoe would be the best shoe? Well, of course, a gold shoe. I want a gold shoe. With my name on it.

A golden shoe. And the American flag. And the American flag. Ah, the best shoe. But he also said, at the launch, he said, this is something

I've been talking about for 12 years. And I thought, about 10 years would have been out, Kai. But what do you mean you've been talking about for 12 years?

Very specific. Can you keep that date, Linda, of when I first mentioned the idea of... When did I first start talking about the golden shoes? And she would be called Linda. When I mentioned

the never surrender high tops. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Frank, I believe you may have posted online some a picture of your shoes the shoes that you were talking the shoes that i love but i'm ashamed to be seen with for some and i can't work out why well i've been posted under the caption shoe shame yes i just want to check you're aware of that yes use that are you okay with that that Are you okay with that? That's fine. Okay. Okay. What do you think?

I thought you were going to ask me that. I was playing for a time. Okay. RG says comfy senior shoes. Can't go wrong. There you go. Okay. I would say I'm oddly drawn to them.

I'll tell you what they remind me of. Have you ever seen the comic peasant scenes in a Bruegel painting? Yes. Oh, yes. Yeah, there is something. Yes. There's one called... I should be spinning a top in a village square. There's one, I can't remember exactly what it's called,

but it's something like the guest trying to get the pig out of the pigsty. And there's a character wearing similar shoes in that painting, I believe. Now suddenly I feel better about it. You could be in a very sort of windmill in the background sort of painting called Man Gathering Wood. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

They've got something of the agricultural labourer. Yeah, but medieval person. Nick G tends on Twitter, those are the pair my squire used to wear. I miss him. I like them, Frank. I like them. Because you know what?

They're very, I'm just trying to say, very unpretentious, those shoes. I think there's something a bit Ninja Turtle about them. There's something a bit martial arts about them. That's not bad. Just because the lines and the slip on it. You look like a really lovely, humble man.

Well, I am. I'd like to thank Absolute for helping me with that humility. Yes. Anyway, back to Rishi Sudhak. You know, this isn't the first this isn't the first

Rishi Sunak footwear based incident oh no you're right didn't he have the do you remember the headline slider man yeah he wore palm angel sliders.

Look out, here come the Slider Men. You know those sort of plastic slip-on shoes that footballers wear post-match? Pool slides, yeah. Yeah, he was photographed in those. And actually, the headline was Slider Man. Palm, he shouldn't have gone for the old Palm Angel. This is the problem,

is that he's one of the most powerfully financed bro men ever spiritually yeah and he can't stop that from leaking out and it doesn't fit with our idea of what a prime minister is yeah he's got the tech bro he should be he should be in silicon valley he should be talking about founders yeah exactly did he study at Stanford with the Americans? Well, according to the jumper he wears quite a lot, he definitely did study at Stanford. Oh, he doesn't wear one of those.

Can I say what really gets me about this? We never talk about female politicians' outfits. Like this. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio you and I last night Frank we were in Tunbridge Wells

we were on tour I know G L A M Ruth Jordan fame go on you finish your little thing

no no no do your Ruth Jordan do my Ruth Jordan yeah do Frank and Pierre have specific stage shoes for stand up I wonder what the main qualities

of such shoes would need to be I only interrupted because you mentioned being on stage if you have more to say regarding Tunbridge we'll come to Tunbridge

but as far as the shoes are concerned, I wear a brown slip-on. I'm going for comfort on stage. I'm up there about an hour and a half, for goodness sake. Yeah. Okay. Unless the audience think different.

So is Mariah Carey, but you know. Yeah, but my shoe, my current stage shoes, I got some maple syrup on them, which adheres to leather with gusto. It's not, I'm just leaving it as a stain. What were you doing with the maple syrup? I was at breakfast in a hotel. Sounds a bit Rishi Sunak.

I thought about this defence. Yeah, I've had a lot of breakfasts in hotels because I'm on tour and I've been on holiday and all that and yeah I missed my waffle. Can't you crack out the older... Which many of our

readers will. Yeah. Can't you crack out the older Bruegel comic person painting? I can't wear those on stage. No, why not? You know, there was an old comedian called Ted Ray

who Bob Monkhouse, another old comedian, said to me, Ted Ray had said to him, don't say anything funny at the beginning of your act because the audience like to spend the first two minutes looking at your suit. And I said to him, I think that was a trap that you'll find set by an old comedian. But I think if you wear something too remarkable,

the audience will be looking at that rather than listening to you. And I think my Beatles might catch their attention. Oh, okay. Putting them in remarkable hat wearing now. Lovely. I don't want the audience going, Broigel, Broigel. I hate it when that happens.

Bring out the mead. Bring out the mead. Can we please ask you if you have stage shoes? Yes. Black, leather, sort of brogues, sort of lace- up proper shoes. He's very smart on stage. Although they've got very thick soles, so it looks like you're sort of wearing brogues,

but you're also somehow walking around lots of wards. Yeah. Sort of all day. So you go for brogues, not Oxfords? I think they're brogues. Okay. He goes for a thick rubber sole. Do you know he does that thing when he holds two electrical wires

and lights up a light bulb in his mouth. Yes, yeah. It starts in the mouth. Yeah, exactly. That's bold and punchy. Sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come see us on Twitter. I find wearing shoes that are like school shoes puts, I get more focused. Really? Yeah, I worry. They don't make a clicky- ploppy sound on the stage.

I can't bear that. No, if anything, they're overly rubberized. I don't like shoes that make a sound. No, I don't like that because sometimes I leave the stage to utter silence. I was going to be like, we leave here. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio.

Frank Skinner Absolute Radio Now anyone who's ever seen sort of influencers and YouTube sensations will see these things when they get for example the new Doctor Who

box set of maybe like a Tom Baker thing with outtakes and all that and they they they took the cellophane and everything off and you're there at the moment of birth when they unwrap it so it's it's all these unboxing things so the first time i took part in one last night and um and Pierre Novelli said, I'm going to, do you want to be in my unboxing video? Which I felt myself age a thousand years saying it. Yeah, well, I felt a certain amount of Pierre pressure. But I said, yes, I will.

And so Pierre has written a book yes um which is called it's called why can't I just enjoy things yes a comedian's guide to autism yes and it's about the fact that Pierre is autistic yes what that means and why it's sort of half of it's not called Asperger's anymore and and all that all that business but I should say it's I've just started reading it of it's not called Asperger's anymore. And all that. All that business. But I should say, I've just started reading it, but it's funny as well as informative. It's not a dry, anything, anyway, he hadn't seen it. It was in a sealed sort of Amazon package. So we sat together and, you know, that bit where you pulled the...

I did that, it broke about five times. Absolutely awful. But then we were there. There was smell of new books as it opened. And there they were. And I have to say, I love the cover. Thank you. And there's a connection, I believe.

Yes, my younger sister sort of designed the cover, painted the cover. He bullied the younger sister and made her do the cover. Yeah, I said, I don't care that you're pregnant, you're doing my cover. My partner did design my tour poster and my son did the lettering on it. And your partner also, for my book, did some lovely pictures of me and Ray, which I still have.

May I also say, the first thing I did, this may show me as a narcissist, I don't care. Yeah, when we got into the lantern this morning, handed me a copy of the book. I was relieved because I thought, oh, that means, Frank, I would have hate to miss out. First thing I did, straight to the back, to the acknowledgements. Yes. I'm not going to lie, Frank. I didn't think to do that.

No. Well, I did what we call a David Baddiel in the trade, which you'll go on to explain. And I went straight to it and I was so thrilled to see. I would also like to thank... Our names are there, Frank. I can rest easy tonight. Why do we call this a David Baddiel in the trade?

Because I bought David Baddiel a book of the history of alternative comedy and next to his name in the index I wrote, Hello. Because I knew it was the first place he would go. in the book of the history of alternative comedy and next to his name in the index I wrote hello because I knew it was the first place he would go yeah it was quite a fun unboxing it's very strange to see

both of you have had this experience before in your lives to see a physical object like a book with your name on it yeah it was actually quite it was a lovely moment i spontaneously congratulated pierre did you on making this quite a little fat book how many pages is it is it a short question is it a short king of a book no no it's a it's a long it's it's more pierre sized i've just looked now and i can tell you how many pages it is up until the acknowledgement section. Okay.

It's 325. There you go. Okay. So you jump forward 325 pages. I'm astonished to hear that I'm asked and obviously concerned it might be for some jokes of mine that I didn't sanction. But let's hope that isn't the case. Although in four weeks' time, I'll never need to speak to him again. Oh, that's not true because we're on tour together.

Oh, the awkwardness never ends. There's a lot in the book about my childhood in West Bromwich. Yeah, of course. Don't forget, by the way, that I will be doing the Gielgud Theatre in August from the 4th to the 25th, and there are still some tickets available. About 18,000, I think. Oh, fine. No, it's actually going fine.

But I'd like people to come because you ain't going to get me nowhere else, kids. Okay, I think that's... Yes. Oh, what? We've got another link. We've got another link. It's not the end of the show.

Oh God, absolute generals are sitting there. You see, he doesn't know what he's doing. Do you know, we made absolutely the right decision. Exactly, exactly. I think we can all rest safe in that. Yeah, I think we're all the right thing at that. What about Avery Blue? Says, personally, I think you should get the

boot polish out and wear a proper pair of shoes with a suit. Oh, okay. That was quite judgmental. I've got quite a big boot print on the seat of my radio suit. Radio suits. It's a blueprint. Frank Skinner.

Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. Phil in Manchester, Frank. Long-time listener, first-time emailer. Oh, God. He just got under the wire. I agree it's bogus to wear T-shirts from concerts you haven't attended. Same applies to university sweatshirts.

If I see someone in, say, a University of Pennsylvania sweatshirt, I say, oh, amazing. When were you there and what did you study? Oh, God, he sounds like fun. Papers, please. Embarrassed silence. Similar with other Americanities New York Fire Department

yes what? although I was confusingly given a t-shirt by the London Fire Brigade for reasons I'll discuss maybe next week I think Pierre was only wearing

a London Fire Brigade posing pouch when he was Mr January in the firefighters calendar. Do you know he's got real firefighters appeal? Oh, I know. It's just a metaphor at this stage, isn't it? Yeah, I know. Anyway, what do you think about this, Phil's point, regarding the universities?

We were just discussing this off air. I wouldn't pull anyone up on it. And also, you're always liable to pull someone up in a, ha-ha, when did you go to, and they did go, and then you look like a loser. You'd feel pretty silly if that. Yeah, you'd be a loser. I'm doing the L sign with my finger and thumb on my forehead. Let's take a nice picture of that

with you behind the Absolute Radio sign. Yeah, that'd be quite good, actually. As a swan sign. That's how I want to be remembered. You'd feel pretty silly if that entire family in Piccadilly Circus buying those jumpers had gone to Oxford. Can I ask you a question?

You feel pretty naive. Do we feel, we were discussing this briefly off air, do we feel it's unacceptable? If you've got a tenuous connection, a relative perhaps went there. I mentioned a cousin of mine had been to West Point. If I wore a West Point sweatshirt and lied and said he'd given it to me, would that be acceptable? Thanks, Skinner.

Or Pierre. I think so. Well, I think? Thanks, Skinner. Or Pierre. I think so. Well, I think it's, yes. Steer clear. I'd love a Birmingham Polytechnic sweatshirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I'm loud and proud about the Polytechnic, but it's not called that anymore.

Of course, it became a university. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Oh, I've got to cop to a Correzione. Oh. Oh, here we go. Shall we try? I've never tried

a... A lantern jingle. A lantern jingle. I imagine they'll be a much higher quality. Here we go. Correzione,

Correzione, ole, ole, ole. I was hoping they might have done something with the mix. Yeah. No. But no, it still sounds terrible.

Omar in Aylesbury, not our Omar, a different Omar, says, Dear Frank, Emily and Pierre, listening for over a decade, first-time correspondent, I'm afraid I have a correzione for piano Billy. No, Billy, you haven't seen him. Yeah, it's true. It's been a long tour. He said the band Weezer wrote Teenage Dirtbag,

as I'm sure others have told you they have. It was by Wheatus. Wheatus, yes. I once went to Reading Festival with a group of friends and I was very excited to see Weezer. My friend said, oh, I only really know Teenage Dirtbag. I told him that was by Wheatus, not Weezer. And we debated this for quite some time

because I'm a colossal pedant. Hello, Omar. Later, Weezer came on. this for quite some time because I'm a colossal pedant hello Omar later Weezer came on I'm actually a medieval peasant oh love your shoes later Weezer came on and in the middle of their set obviously aware of the common misconception

they whimsically played Teenage Dirtbag oh that's good much to the delight of my friend oh god I've never heard the end of it

praise redacted. Thank you, Omar. Yes, I know. That was my partner and I. That was our song was Teenage Dirtbags. It's about two weirdos who get fixed up on music, brings them together. Yeah.

And they go to Iron Maiden. They do. Yeah. Well, they got some tickets for Iron Maiden. Baby. We don't know if they definitely go. Iron Maiden. They do. Yeah. Well, they've got some tickets for Iron Maiden. Baby. We don't know if they definitely go. It's true.

I'm sure they do. Yeah. So look, that's it for today. Four shows to go. So Sarah Champion's up next. Do listen to Sarah. Thank you so much

for listening to us this morning. And if the good Lord spares us and the creaks don't rise, we'll be back again this time next week. Now, get out. This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio.