The Frank Skinner Show - Ragamuffin Button

Episode Date: January 15, 2022

Frank Skinner's on Absolute Radio every Saturday morning and you can enjoy the show's podcast right here. Radio Academy Award winning Frank, Emily and Alun bring you a show which is like joining your mates for a coffee... So, put the kettle on, sit down and enjoy UK commercial radio's most popular podcast. This week Frank had a quiet waiter and has an issue with a reversing Scalextric car. The team also discuss the woman who’s married pink, postcodes and BMW’s colour changing car.

This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Alan Cochran. Text the show on 8-12-15. Makes an enormous difference. Follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at Frank on the Radio. Likewise, email the show via... Here we go, ready? Got your pens ready at home frank at absoluteradio.co.uk they used to do a thing

on the telly where they would say get a pen and paper and we're going to give you an address or something like that BBC W1A W1AA or something like that anyway I can remember it I think BBC W1A, W1AA or something like that. Anyway, they don't do that anymore. I think it was W10, I can remember it, I think.

I mean, not that it's a useless piece of information I have. Do you think it's changed? It's still the same if you want to write to the BBC. Well, I had the Saturday swap shop. Yeah, I remember. It was W108QT. Oh, so not W1A, W1A. Oh, anyway.

Anyway. Anyway, let's not hear just reciting postcodes. I dare say someone will complain about that. Why? One of you were wrong and the other was right or somebody will crack it. That's what they're like. Anyone who's...

Well, I like the pedantic nature of some of our readers. Me too. Pick me up on the tiniest thing. It shouldn't just be us, should it? Well, Frank, Chris Evans, when he was in this building, did a song, released a song, performed a song based on the postcode here. Did he really?

Yes. It's called the 4DJ song. Well, I never heard. Okay, so, you know, what I'm saying is there's mileage to be had out of postcodes. Are you saying the postcode here is 4DJ? I believe it is. That's a coincidence, isn't it?

Yeah. Okay. Is that correct? 9DJ. Oh, 9DJ. 9DJ, even better. Even bigger party. Let's get together, 9 nine DJs in a room here

and have a postcode party. Yeah. Another idea I'd just throw out there. You know, I don't... We could add that into the five gold rings. Yeah, nine DJs. I bet Anton Debeck's got at least nine DJs on the

if DJ's dinner jacket I bet he's got so many dinner jackets if he's got offspring I think the progeny will have a tuxedo baby grow has he got offspring that'd be a good texting yeah because you might get somebody you didn't even know about

getting texted in that'd be brilliant has Anton Debeck got offspring because you might get somebody you didn't even know about getting texted in. That'd be brilliant. Has Anton de Beek got offspring at 12.15? Oh, my God. Oh, good. That's what he always says at the end of his things. Oh, listen, I went, I socialised this week. I went out for lunch with an old friend.

And I hadn't really experienced this before, but we had what I can only call a quiet waiter. Oh, yeah. A quiet man, but with a mask on as well, obviously. Yeah. And he came over and said, I'm sorry, I didn't i didn't hear that and he said i don't know i said no i actually can't i can't hear you and my friend

said look she stepped in early and said look you're obviously a quite quietly spoken person but we with the massive we just can't hear you. And he said, I'm sorry. And I said, no, what you need, can you speak any louder? And he said, well. So I was doing that thing. You know when you listen to the radio and slightly tilt your head if there's an important bit on.

Or sometimes when people go, hold on, is that the baby crying? And they sort of look slightly towards the ceiling. I was sort of doing, I had to cock my head towards him. And still, I got zero assistance from the waiter. He did nothing. He'd just go. So we went away and I said, how do you explain that how do you explain that i said i couldn't hear you and you said you couldn't hear him but he went no louder

and she said perhaps he just can't speak any louder is that a thing is that a thing where that was his top end that was his top is that No, people who can't speak any louder. What if he was in peril? Yeah. Don't tell me he couldn't dredge something up. What about if you saw someone stepping in front of a car? That's no good, is it? I really, honestly, it drove me crazy.

Don't live in London. If you're going to talk like that, don't live in London. Live in some rural area where people might be able to hear you. I don't live in London. And, of course, you can't get very close to people now. I mean, who wants to get close to a waiter? Do you think they should have projection tests when you move to London? I just think speak up.

If someone says, we were so lovely about it. I'm really sorry. Sounds like it. I mean, to say, you're obviously a quietly spoken person. Yes, you are. But even, everyone's got a volume. Someone will text in and say, you are so cruel. There is a thing called silenzio maximus, which people get. Do you think he was saying under his breath, Frank?

You're a bit of a get hit. You know what? I have no idea what he was saying. What do you mean under his breath? There was no over his breath. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Yes, so I was just thinking about the quiet way to live in the country.

Do you get, I don't know quite how to say this, but often in sort of novels set in Mexico and stuff, you get, is it chacardas? And it's those insects that go... ..in the night. That would be no good for the quiet waiter. You're right, it's always used to create atmosphere, isn't it? It is.

I don't know if you get it. The countryside might be difficult for the very quiet because what if they see somebody that they know but across, like, a field or a heath and they have to shout, but they're not loud enough to help them see Kevin. Imagine if you got your sheepdog out. Your sheepdog's going, what?

Hold it, hold it. Just say to the sheep, hold it. Just stop bleating for one second. What are you saying? What? Hold it, hold it. Just say it to the sheep. Hold it, just stop. Stop bleating for one second. What are you saying? I don't know. I can't. I don't know where quiet people get through.

I'm sure there'll be quiet people listening. But you know what? Here's a tip for you. Contribute. Okay, so. You sound so like the man at my parents' dinner party who I've told you about Frank have you ever been to dinner parties

where you think there are people here tonight who I've been on top form they've had a brilliant they've had as good an evening as I have at this dinner party and they haven't used up any material yeah it's not fair

quiet people have you got no sense of fair play yeah Yeah Contribute It's not fair Quiet people Have you got no sense of fair play? Yeah Oh dear Don't be our audience We've had a text in about this And it's got what I like to think of Is it very small print?

Indeed Yeah It's got what I like to think of As a couple of good jokes in there Oh You know we like those on the show. Oh, man, I love a good joke. 660, Frank, although you had a frustrating time in the restaurant,

at least you discovered the source of the term dumb waiter. Did you order a shush kebab? Oh, man, he's made the cake and iced it. Yeah, he really has. Oh, pearly. The thing is, though, we were so nice as well. At no point. We were so nice.

That's the bit I think you really want to talk about. Yeah. Well, because sometimes you feel, you know, you assume that the choir are nice because they're quiet. I don't think that necessarily follows. Do you think not? No, I think it could be. A bit Manu.

Do you remember Manu, the hiding mafia guy we talked about last week? He probably kept a pretty low profile, apart from his shop and restaurant with his name in the title. I don't think it necessarily means. Well, that's what they did say. He seemed a nice man. We were very nice to him but I'll tell you something. The thing I haven't told you

is first of all he brought my meal and not the woman I was with. He didn't bring a meal and then she said hold on what happened to my meal and he clearly I think he told the kitchen they just hadn't heard it. Then he came back with the meal ten minutes later which was the wrong meal and she said oh look

i'm sorry you know how english people say they're sorry yeah i'm sorry but this isn't well it's not them and then he went away and eventually she got it so it was clearly a problem in the kitchen somebody going remember that sketch on saturday Night Live couldn't hear him so yeah it is a good joke I like the Don Waiter thing but I don't mean he wasn't I'm not suggesting he was stupid he was just quiet

so quiet be more vocal come on I mean what about if we did this whole show I mean it might not make any difference on, let's say, Capital, but on this show, it would make an enormous, it would change everything. Friendship Skinner on Absolute Radio. I'll tell you what,

I've never done this before, but I want to ask a question of our readers, but I don't ask a question of our readers, but I don't think it's interesting enough to discuss on air. So if anyone can help me out and just email me, that would really, you'd do me a massive service. What, write to us at 9DJ?

Yeah, one of the, can you write to us? No, it's just that I've, my son had a scalex trick for Christmas, Batman versus the Joker, bought by his grandpa. Lovely. Very cool. I don't know what happened. It was working perfectly normally,

and now suddenly the Joker will only go backwards. And the brush, his lower metal brush has become contorted because he's going backwards,'s pushing the you know when you cope come when you stroke a dog the wrong direction and the hair stands on end it's like that hang on where's the brush from then is the brush on his head now you know the brush that's on the bottom of a scalextric car that touches the metal track no okay i once got in a in a black cab and the guy was thought was driving in reverse and the guy said to me, have you ever played Scalextric?

I thought, that's not something that just comes out of nowhere like that. I said, no, I did when I was a kid. And he got a box out with some Scalextrics. And he did Grand Prixs. He went across Europe doing scale extract I finally I'd got if I could get in the cab with him we'd have the whole thing so it's I don't think it's interesting enough to discuss on air although Joker versus the Batman I didn't even know used to be like little men hunched in in helmets when I when I was doing Grand Prix now it's Batman and

the Joker are on the track I... It's interesting that that taxi driver was also into Scalextric's driving. It's something of a busman's holiday. Exactly. For a taxi driver, you'd think there's just too many ironies. Very set in his ways, though, driving-wise. No detour at all. Followed the same over and over.

I've seen the right turn the whole journey. Looping around central London. I'm just so thrilled that it never, did it, is it back or did it just never go away? I don't know. Boz's granddad called him and said, what do you want for Christmas?

And Boz said, I'd really like a scale X trick. And I thought, whoa! That's like, we're on a time loop and apparently they are, I don't know if they went away I'm guessing it's that bit like when they're at the other side of the track and then they come back

he's got a lovely better than any track I ever I just had an oval he's got like a he's probably got a chicane. I love a chicane. If I have a son, I'm going to name him Chicane. I don't like to publicly disagree with you, Frank,

but I actually think this stuff is interesting enough for on air. Yeah. There you go. Yeah, but we have... I've said it. As someone pointed out before, what was that? Would you like to hear from John Hopkins? Yes, please.

Frank, you have to say his name in your... Hopkins. Hopkins says, you've had some strong starts to your show over the years, but remembering postcodes has just gone straight into my top five. Hopkins adds, Frank, in relation to The Quiet Waiter, sounds a bit like an Anthony Minghella film.

Oh, The Quiet Waiter, yeah? In his defence, maybe he was an ex-Snooker referee. Oh, now that, you see, isn't quite right. Oh, Hopkins. It was the commentators that had to speak quietly,

the referees, I mean, they could speak whenever they spoke. And even now, I think they're boxed. In the days of whispering Ted Lowe, he sat on a lip mic in the corner, so had to speak very quietly. And when we were doing fantasy football, we phoned Ted Lowe,

and his answer phone said, I'm sorry, but you're snookered said I'm sorry but you're snookered. I'm not here at the moment. Fantastic. But that was professional whispering. I bet if you met him in a restaurant he'd speak up. So they're not getting around it that way.

Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. I know you said that you thought that your question about your son's scale extracts was for off-air because you thought it might not be interesting. Too boring. I actually, I disagree. I don't think we should put rules like that in. Oh, God.

What are you talking about? It's a scorched earth policy of some kind. Yeah, 879 has replied to your mooting that the Joker's car is always going in reverse now, is that right? Yeah. Morning Frank and breakfast crew, I think that's me and Emily.

Personally, I haven't had breakfast yet, but that's... Wow. Is there a switch? Is there a switch under the Joker's car that's been pushed? No. This used to happen on Thomas the Tank Engine Big Loader set. Ah, well, I know I look for the switch.

I thought there might be a reverse switch. Listen to this. Jamie Wood. Do you know Jamie Wood? No. Thanks for the tip. Thanks for this tip. I think you will thank him for this tip.

OK. Grandparents got our son exactly the same set. Ah! He continues. Now, I'm like some low-rent, miniature Formula One mechanic. OK. You need to carefully twist the little disc thing underneath with brushes on by 180 degrees. Hold on just a second.

180! OK, that's just so I remember it. They can get twisted during a crash. Can they? I hate myself for knowing this. No, don't, because you'd make a small child happy. Imagine, probably a great thing that is. I tried twiggling that,

but it really felt like, Daddy broke it! It felt like that. But I'm going to be brave on the strength of... What's the name of that? Jamie Wood. I'm going to write down Jamie Wood and I'm going to let Jamie Wood know next week

how it went with the... And if Buzz ends up in tears then Jamie can take responsibility. Exactly. 8.6 who also signs off as Alan from Mansfield has said, good morning Frank try changing the positive and negative

connection to that side of the track. Does that contradict what we just heard from Jamie Wood? I don't know. That sounds a bit like reverse the polarity, which is a thing they used to say in Doctor Who when they didn't have any real science to use. Well, I like that we've added, Frank, to what's our postcode.

Yes, we have. I tried to avoid this. Alan Cotran bullied me into discussing this on air. I like the theatre of the mundane. It's fun. I know what you mean, but not everyone else does. That's our problem.

Well, Steve Affleck... I mean, I'm a man. Can I just say, I've not only watched all eight hours of the Beatles just sitting messing about in the studio. Me and Kath have started watching it again from the beginning. Yeah, I do. We're in for another eight. I like just having it on in the background.

Oh, it's like living with the Beatles. With the Beatles, that would have been a good title for an Albert. Oh. Oh. Steve Amflet. Steve Pamflet? No, Steve Amflet. Let's see what unfolds here.

Don't take the P out of his name. No, sorry. He said... No, I've added a P. Steve Pamphlet. Yeah. He says... Nice to hear you all.

Oh, hi, Brucey. Slowing down to get scalextrics right. Scalextrics. Scalextric. Scalextric. Yeah, so notice that Faye, our producer today, said scalextrics. And a lot of people, they just go X crazy and they end it with an X instead of a K. Steve Amflit does, I'm afraid he names and shames here.

He says, although I've noticed Al trips over sometimes and overcooks it. Oh. Yeah, I'm not comfortable saying it. Could you tell us how you say it, please? Come on. Scalextric. Yes, it ends with a cut.

So it's Scalextric. Yes. Oh, I'm so proud of myself. Scalextric. What would you say was the most mispronounced term in the British? Pacific. Deckard. For me, it's Ku Klux Klan.

Ku Klux Klan is almost always Klu Klux Klan. Oh. That's up there with nuclear, isn't it? I'll say it again. Oh. Exactly. Just remember they don't have a clue. Simple as that. and that's up there with nuclear isn't it I'll say it again oh yeah exactly just remember they don't have a clue

simple as that Frank Skimmer Absolute Radio guess what Al have you seen what 766 has said well

I've seen various messages about what I like to call the scalextric's gate. Scalextric gate. You rarely get a gate on it. Two times consuming. Sounds like you could do with one.

Stop your brushes getting tangled. Share. When I say share, I don't mean... No, I don't mean that. Hi, Frank, Emily and Alan. Long-time reader, first-time writer. But your discussion about a scalextric brought back great memories of the same issue

after spectacular crashes. This is the issue, in case anyone's just tuned in, breaking news, Buzz's scalextric car, the brushes are tangled. Well, I'll tell you what it reminded me of. And I told him about this to placate him. When I bought my first car, I went to a car auction. And a car auction has a tiny little circular arena that you stand around.

I know, I've been to a big auction. It was the same. Yeah, well, this was in Oldbury in the West Midlands. And they bring these cars in, and I fell for this 1967 Vauxhall V4 and bought that. But there was a car that reversed into the circle to be looked at, and the guy said, it's a lovely lovely car at the moment it will only reverse and i thought how do they get it home the people who buy this do you honestly reverse

all the way home imagine your neck when you got in oh oh yeah yeah anyway i think that there was my an ex-boyfriend of mine Patrick, lovely fellow he was from Highland and I believe his grandfather had a car that only worked in reverse oh okay and kept it drove it all the time that is

I don't like I find reversing a difficult and unsettling manoeuvre. The less reversing I do, the better. A car that I only reverse may have been what I need to break that taboo. I can't believe they had the temerity to show that on the display. They were very high on temerity at the car auction. One thing that wasn't at the car auction was a temerity shortage, I've got to say.

And it really was blokes kicking tyres. I mean, it was, you know, that sort of cliché of our men judge cars. I heard that Jamie Wood has been supplemented. Is that correct? So, I'll continue. 766, that continues, Jamie White is absolutely right, he says. Okay.

It's not Jamie White, FYI. It's Jamie Wood. Jamie White is absolutely right. But I like that it rhymes. Maybe that's why he changed it. But you need to turn it 180 degrees the right way. Oh. Otherwise, you will tangle the little wires and risk breaking them.

Yes. So am I going... It will go easily one way and get tougher the other. Yeah, but which way? Which way? No, listen. Good luck. Ah, what? Why don't you just end with may the odds be ever in your favour? Yeah.

Am I going... Do I need to know in the accident whether it went clockwise I mean you know we don't have replays on the scalextric well 766 has said it will go easily one way and get tougher the other there's your answer

we're back to the reversing car again. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Alan Cochran. You can text the show on 81215.

Follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at Frank on the radio. Email the show via Frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. London W1A.

Frank, you earlier referred to being present at a car auction who sold a car which could only reverse. That's right. Only had the reverse function. That's right. Most extraordinary anecdote I think I've ever heard. Well. And 538 has said,

was it Captain Scarlet who, whilst the SPV went forwards, always faced backwards in the vehicle whilst driving it, thus always in reverse? Over to you, Frank Skinner. I must admit, I watched Captain Scarlet... That's enough. ...avidly.

And I don't recall him being facing backwards in the vehicle. Did he have unruly children, Captain Scarlet? I'll knock your heads together in a minute. Captain Scarlet. I'll knock your heads together in a minute. One of those Thunderbird people definitely had faced backwards, didn't they? I like the knowledge that they said SPV, which I don't know what that stands for.

Was it something like Special Patrol Vehicle? I think it might have been. Yeah, I don't remember that in Captain Scarlet, though. I mean, the thing is with Captain Scarlet, he was immortal. So when he died, he just came back to life again. Maybe if you had that, you would adopt a reckless attitude to drive in, which just meant you did look the other way. Probably on his phone.

Yeah. Stuff like that. Yeah, that's interesting. I'd like to get to the bottom of Captain Scarlet's driving position. And other things I have never heard before in my entire life. Other things you didn't think were good enough to broadcast. Yeah, exactly. Wrong.

Indestructible Captain Scarlet. Indestructible. See, that was the clue. Like the material on this show. Wrong. Indestructible Captain Scarlet. Indestructible. See, that was the clue. I like the material on this show. Exactly. Wow. Al, what about 097? Have you read this?

Yes. Sure. What about 097? Hi, Frank et al. That's us. When working in the Turks and Caicos. Caicos. Caicos. What does it mean?

It's a series of islands. Oh, okay. I plan to go in the not too distant future. Do you really? Nice. If I go to Miami, get another flight. They continue. They're going to put the icing on the

cake, us. Yes. Very good. Go on. Oops, sorry, I hit the microphone in an accidental way. My car for a brief period would only turn left to turn right. I had to go past the junction and loop backwards

using the whole road. Oh, man. That's fantastic. That, man. Oh. That's fantastic. That's great. Yeah. I love that so much. How long do you put up with that?

Maybe if you're on an island. I mean, in Caicos, is it a grid thing they use? I would imagine in Turks and Caicos. I mean, there's a lot of... I've never even heard of Turks and Caicos. It's the chicest place to go on holiday. I only really... Oh, that's why I haven't heard of it.

All my geographical knowledge comes from years of wrongly, I realise now, watching Miss World. And I don't remember... So you know Venezuela? I don't remember... Miss Guam. Oh, yes. Yeah, but I don't remember Miss Turks and Caicos.

Oh, okay. No, no. I didn't read that chapter in the Octomotor. Perhaps they're a very ugly race. Wow. Of course. I think they're very beautiful. Are they?

Oh, so beautiful they can't select a representative. Why do you think I'm going over there? Well, I've honestly never heard of it. Oh, it's stunning. I'm going to look it up. How do you spell Caicos? C-A-I-C-O-S, I believe. As you can see, I didn't look down, so I think that's right. OK. This is exciting, isn't it?

What I like here is that two of our regulars have sort of got together and bonded over their tweets being read out. Oh, that's nice. One of our other regulars, you may be familiar, is Pablo's Vault of Horror. And he's contacted hopkins on our feed to say i remember being pleased as punch when they read out my venerable bead oh how nice it's become a sort of a chat room there's a bloke asking help for help with his scale x3

i mean what you know this is supposed to be professional radio at its finest. Roger Turner has got in touch. As I recall, some of the old three-wheeler cars didn't have a reverse, so you could drive them on a motorcycle licence. That's right. I remember the motorcycle. I remember people saying, I'll get a motorbike test and they'll get a Reliant Robin, and you were all right with it.

It's quite a turning it's not a turn on that's what it's no but it's a good turning one imagines with the we're just one way that's not great get first opening line on a date what i thought i'd do is get the motorcycle lights well i remember um mesher smith which we associate associate with the Blitz and stuff like that. They brought out, well, the genre when I was a kid was called bobble cars. And there were these tiny little three-wheeler cars. And there was a Messerschmitt version of... Were they the pale blue ones?

No, no. Now, these were, they looked a bit military. Yes. The pale blue ones that you got on prescription, but these were like you could go and buy one of these tiny ones. But bubble cars were, I suppose they were the smart car of their day. But Messerschmitt, of all the people to create a tiny three-wheeler car, seems a bit wrong.

I suppose most planes are three-wheelers. Yeah. Do you know, the other day I was talking to someone... Something you don't even say for real. No, like, much on this show. Do you know, I was talking to someone, boys, the other day, and I said something about... I had a pilot, and it was on a seaplane, and he...

Sue, you can tell us this story. No, it's not that one, it's mine. Oh, OK. This was another pilot. And he was wearing flip-flops and I was just a bit surprised. Flying the plane? He must crash into the sea a lot.

He's wearing flippers. What you don't want is a pilot who's got like an inflatable horse around his waist. He's a unicorn. Oh, man. No one is a pilot who's got like an inflatable horse around his waist. My friend said, oh, well, that's all right. The plane doesn't have wheels. I said, yes, it does. He said, it doesn't have pedals.

I said, a plane does have pedals. Does it have pedals? Well, I realised, I thought, maybe it's because I have been friends with a number of pilots. I'm aware that it has pedals. I couldn't have put my hand on my heart and said it definitely had pedals. I sort of assumed it does. I mean, I don't want to get too technical, but I can honestly exclusively reveal.

I'm quite certain of that. Does it have a clutch? No, it doesn't have a clutch okay the pedals are used for all sorts of reasons they can be used for braking sometimes oh well that makes sense yeah i was thinking i was thinking of it in the air um i like i like does it have a clutch now we should just ask what else a cockpit has does it have a glove box? Chokes. I've got a question. If we had to drive a plane, suddenly, if there was one of those situations... Do you drive

a plane? No, you don't really fly. If we had to steer a plane, what is the verb associated with it? Because flying, we're all flying. What is the pilot specifically doing? Oh, I see. We are all flying. What is the pilot specifically doing? Oh, I see. We are all flying.

What about if the pilot was... What about if he hit someone while he was still on the ground? Would they say, were you flying the plane at the time? He could say, no, I was driving the plane. And it all gets a bit messy. A bit much. I imagine they get a brochure with the terminology. Who, Al, I've got, here's a question.

Who out of the three of us would be the most competent with no previous training if they were just thrust into that scene? When they talk down, like in films when you talk down. That's what I'm thinking, like airplane. If they said, right, who... And said, there is a red button just to the left of your... Who would follow the instructions? Obviously, it would be Al.

No, wrong, wrong. Because Al has got nerves of steel. He can't fly planes. I once went to an assimilation, the Air France simulation thing, I think it was, and I crashed three planes on that. Oh. So it's quite a delicate little...

Out of how many? Apparently, you don't go straight down. You need a sort of ramp into the landing. I grew up in the celebration, I remember. I had a card. You know, you collected cards with great British inventions. And one was vertical take-off plan. It was a plane that just went up and down

with no runway and I thought all planes will be like that in the future. Wrong. We've had some answers in. 2507 Hi Frank, Captain Scarlet... Oh, I had a thought about this. Go on.

I'm wondering if the S, you work for an organisation which began with S, and I'm wondering if that might be involved in the thing. Go on. So, I don't want to pre-empt the answer. No, I think you should. That would make it a spectrum patrol vehicle. Well, you know what I'm going to say? One out of three ain't bad.

Oh, OK. So which one did I get wrong? No, you haven't got any. Because you haven't guessed. What's your suggestion for SPV? I don't want to put you on the spot here. That's it, spectrum patrol vehicle. Oh, sorry, I didn't hear that second bit.

Two out of three ain't bad. OK, well, I mean with meatloaf. It's actually three out of three, though, I didn't hear that second bit. Two out of three ain't bad. Okay, well that's, I mean with meatloaf. It's actually three out of three though, isn't it? Spectrum patrol vehicle is right, I thought. It's Spectrum pursuit vehicle. Oh, I see. I've got here,

this is Andy Baby who's saying this. Spectrum was the name of Captain Scarlett's organisation. Here's a diagram. Note the section labelled driving position and he's confirming that he did indeed sit in the reverse position. He did.

Weird when you're in pursuit. Yeah. I mean, 507 says patrol, so, you know... Is it a way of stopping... Martin from Stourbridge. The people you're pursuing, is that a good way of them not knowing they're being followed? That when they look in the rearview mirror,

the bloke's facing the other way? I mean, can I just ask, what sort of a man was he, Scarlett? Was he a... He was indestructible, actually. But was he a detective? No, he worked for Spectrum, so he sort of... You're going to have to elaborate.

Basically, there were some very bad people called the Mysterons who were creating havoc. Oh, was it alien things? Yeah, it was alien. Oh, OK. There we go. So Captain Scarlet was the sort of golden boy of Spectrum. And they were all called, it was Colonel White and Captain Blue and stuff

like that. And Captain Black, who was the, had been infiltrated, and so was it, like a double agent. Okay. And he had nothing to do with Thunderbirds? No, well, it was made by the Andersons,

Gerry and Sylvia. But I think they were still together at that point. It was a terrible point where they divorced. What's your favourite name for a girl? Mine's Sylvia. Is it? Oh, I love it. It's so retro, I love it.

I quite like Lulu. Yes, I do like that as well. Good texting. No, don't text your favourite girl's name. Oh, OK, fair enough. I think I'm dragging the show down. No, exactly. And also, I'm sure you'll probably find someone like Fern Britton

has done that regularly, that texting. I don't want to be treading on her toes. OK, what else? Oh, what else? Oh! What about, there is more car stuff. There's a car news. There is a car news that I'd like to bring to your attention.

BMW, is it Bavarian Motorwerks or something like that? I think it's a Bavarian Mahout vehicle. Is that right? What does BMW stand for? That's a good question.

Is it Motorwerks? That's what I said, yeah. Is it Dracula's car? Where did I park my BMW? They've announced some very high-tech stuff this week. They're going to create a car that changes colour from black to white at the push of a button. That's fantastic, isn't it?

And also... Go on, carry on. It's impressive that we know about it because they actually made this announcement in a sort of a demonstration in Las Vegas. And I'm surprised we've heard about it because I actually made this announcement in a sort of a demonstration in Las Vegas and I'm surprised we've heard about it because I thought what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

They've broken the rules obviously. It's not the best place to make announcements looking back on it. I honestly think if this had been on Tomorrow's World I would have thought yeah that'll never happen but this actually it worked it actually it exists yeah it's not an idea i could i'm not saying i could buy one but i could

go and see pretty exciting you could it's a getaway car waiting to happen frank skinner frank skinner absolute radio Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. Steve Vadgama, who I'd say he's creeping up on the correspondence front. Okay. Into our top ten. BMW means Bericht modern Werke. As a teacher of German... You enjoyed that, didn't you? I could tell.

I loved it more than if I was saying Peppers, please. I think it's like the week I said that T.S. Eliot says that Madame Sassostris, the famous Clairvoyant. There's nothing I love more.

Do you know, it's one of my biggest regrets, not learning German. Yeah, well, it's still time. It's still time, dear, for goodness sake. In this sort of, yeah. And having lived in Munich, I know this. So does Bad Garma. Hashtag.

On the picture, I thought you were saying you'd lived in Munich. Yeah, me too. That would have been good. No, been to Hamburg, though. Vadgarma says, hashtag know your German car abbreviations. Yes.

I think that is a good thing to know, generally. We've also, we will return to the subject of the BMW, but Geoffrey Palmer has been in touch, not that long, to say, dear all, with reference to airplanes, the pilot pilots the aircraft whilst flying on the ground. He taxis the aircraft. Also, Frank always likes

to be precise. So please team, refrain from calling the aircraft planes. Thank you. Geoff Palmer. I'm definitely going to talk about aircraft from now on whenever we're talking about planes well I tell you what he's an armed forces veteran to be fair yeah okay fair enough and I can I say this to him I'm not very happy about the fact that when I'm in a theatre or

something I have to put my phone on airplane mode which as far as I'm concerned, just means there'll be lots of visual gags and jokes. That's what airplane mode is for me, based on the movie. I never say we've got to get there. I don't want to miss my airplane. No. Come off it. Meanwhile, at a Berisch Motorrad Wacken factories,

BMW should call itself... Black, Moment or White. Shouldn't it? Give themselves an Italian sounding name. Yeah, exactly. I couldn't think of anything for the M, I'll be honest with you. Can I say Moment? Black, Mitt, White. Moment is't think of anything for the M, I'll be honest with you. Can I say moment... Black, mitt, white.

Moment is German. Yeah. Is it? Yes. I remember being on holiday distinctly and a German father kept saying, moment, moment, to his child. If I'm wrong, tell me. I think Frank got it right.

Anyway. I'll tell you what was great. This is... I've got to say, it seems to be a proper real thing that the car is a white car and you press a button it becomes a black car which is kind of yes seems i'd never even seen it imagined in things before and they had the thing which i hadn't seen before which was on the internet to show it you. It had a slide. It had a picture with a slide on it. And you had to get the arrow on it with your mouse,

drag the slide across, and the car went from black to white. How does it look? Which one did you prefer? It reminded me. Remember those biros where there'd be a lady in a black dress? And then when you held them up, the dress fell away. That's the car I've got. Yeah, I've got one of those

with John Paul II moving along in front of the Vatican. I'm so relieved. No, no, nothing. I'm just relieved. That's actually a bit of that. Fully garbed, John Paul II. Just sort of moving along as if he might

be on one of those, like a skateboard or something in front of the Vatican. I still have that pen. It's a beauty. So we were talking about the black and white car. Is the idea, this is a genuine question, is the idea that at night you drive it white

and in the daytime you drive it black for visibility? I thought you just drove it white when you went into Essex. I thought it was just whatever mood you were in. Pardon, Al? I thought it was just whatever mood you were in. What, is it like a mood ring? Yeah. Oh, fantastic. now i thought it was just whatever mood you were in i thought why is it like a mood ring yeah be a great way of avoiding angry drivers do you think all these cars looking a bit uh looking a bit white yeah well apparently do you still get mood rings i've case any of our younger do you

know what yeah people used to wear mood rings and if they were whatever it was, amorous or angry, it would change colour and signify. I never trusted them. No, I don't think they... They were right up there with the red fish. Do you remember that? They used to lie on your palm, and if it curled, you were passionate. I had a fortune teller fish not that long ago,

and I got fickle. Oh, right. Fickle was a terrible one to get. That's when the tail curls over completely. OK. OK? Yeah, it's... Fickle won.

I didn't like that it called me fickle won. Oh, a mood car, though. I do like the sound of that. Well, apparently BMW have said right now it's black and white, but eventually they'll be able to do it in colour, but a licence will be more expensive. Oh. Very good. imagine that they we'll we um i'm not saying that but in 20 years time it sounds to me on this technology you just buy a car and then

you just have a range of colors on the dash you just go for it yeah i don't even know what color my car is it's a sort of a slight slightly you know colors like there used to be a popular paint uh color ode nil oh yes my mother was a fan yeah it's got like that it's it's not quite fitting in any of the categories um i think yours is a sort of, it's a pale bronze. Pale bronze, okay. We, I also noticed with these, this car, that apparently it's very helpful for overheating. So there is an element of the mindering, Frank. Oh, I see.

Because apparently black cars tend to overheat a great deal. Because they don't reflect. Yeah. And it's so much pressure on the air conditioning. And the white is useful for the summer months. And again, indeed, if you're feeling a little bit juicy. Do we know how long it takes for black to become white or white to become black. Oh, are you thinking for crimes?

Are you thinking of... No, I was thinking... Or crimes. What I was thinking... Drive around a corner and change outfits like Superman or something. But wouldn't it be... With glasses, Al. Change the car cover and put glasses on.

They'll never get me. But my priorities are a little different. I was thinking it would be a great visual gag at a car wash. Take your black car into the car wash and as it comes out the other side it's totally white. Oh man, it'd be worth

buying one just for that. And if you were hunting in the Arctic, that button, the white button would be very helpful for camouflage. Camouflage. Also, it's going to play havoc with those voiceover men, Frank, who do the police camera action. Oh, yeah.

Because they like doing the suspect heading northwards, you know, and they like the description of the vehicle. Yeah. Oh, Jane, a white Bronco. Oh, no, no, it's a black Bronco. Oh, no. Yeah. I'll tell you what it is great news for.

Anyone who runs a car hire company that does both weddings and funerals. Yeah. Only need half as many vehicles as they used to have. Or indeed anyone who runs an organised crime gang. Yeah. Well, I think we can get... I don't know if the number plates change. But I'm really impressed.

I really feel I've come living in the modern world when I read this, I must say. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. say. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Alan Cochran. You can text the show on 81215, follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at frankontheradio, email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk.

You know, we were just discussing the black and white car I've just had a thought I don't know if they'll be able to do this eventually but you know I think my car isn't stolen because it's undesirable because it's kind of scuffed and scraped and old but surely if they can create a black and white effect on the car,

they could have a button where you do that, like a pressing scuffs and scrapes for if you're parking outside a particularly rough comedy club, for example. Yeah, or if you're... I mean, it's quite niche needs. I like it. It's good as well for pulling out at a roundabout

because I found when I drove rubbish cars, people are a lot more careful because they think he doesn't care this bloke, look at his car he just pulls out. Exactly and bicycle couriers they deliberately mess up their bikes if they've got really good bikes they'll splash their paint and stuff so that they don't get nicked yeah

but I think there's a car version there's a gap in the market for exactly this I think that is a good idea for a sort of ragamuffin button, you could call it. Yeah. I like Alan's very specific, if you're outside a dodgy comedy club.

A comedy club in a dodgy area. Just as an example. We get the... Absolutely not from my life or anything. No. We get your gist. I'll tell you what, while we're on the subject of cars, and specifically coloured ones,

did you see, I'm going to call her Pink Chevrolet Woman, she... Oh, the Pink Lady of Hollywood, I believe she's known. Do you know, that makes my heart soar that you know who she is, Frank. Oh, Kitty K. Seurat. I'm obsessed by her. Mmm, Kitty Kayserar. I'm obsessed by her. Mm.

KKS. She's interesting, I'll give you that. So, are you familiar with her, Al, her work? Yes. I mean, I call it work. I'm colourblind, so I feel like this whole story's somewhat close to being a hate crime against me somehow. Aw. Aw.

She's basically Frank. Yeah, she's obsessed with the colour pink is the bottom line isn't it? Yeah. She reckons she's spent over one million pounds on pink things. I mean I mean, Frank

has probably done that and he's not even obsessed with pink things. I've done it just on Percy Pigs. I think I have done it, maybe. Are you a pink enthusiast? I just look in there and I thought, ah. Pink coat, pink cushions, pink chairs, pink KitchenAid, pink Le Creuset casserole dish. Oh, nice.

Pink dog feed. That's close to a million pounds. Does it come from the root of, you know, it used to be, I don't know if this still exists, that if someone had a baby, if it was a girl, you'd get them pink things, and if it was a boy, you'd get them blue things. No, because my sister loved yellow, you see. I was always the pink child.

See, I've known a few women who had the pink thing going on, a pink bedroom and stuff. I tell you what's very common is pink iPhone covers and stuff like that. But I've never known a bloke that had the blue thing. Oh, my bedroom's all blue. I love blue. They haven't sold it enough. I think we often get a bad press, us pink fanatics,

because we are very much associated with the, I don't know, I would say it's an unfortunate demographic. Okay. Right. Do you mean the stupid? Yeah. Do you want to make more associated with... You've shown that stereotype to be incorrect, Emma.

Oh, lovely. I like to think I'm doing a lot of work for us people. Yeah, for the pink community. The pink community is somewhat different, I think, isn't it? Is it? Something I'm also involved in very heavily as an icon. I, um... I tell you what, the reason she's in the news

um kitty case raw is that she she got married this week and i bet you're thinking oh i can picture the wedding she's in pink and and you know the bridegroom's in pink um it that's not quite how it worked out and I will explain the nature of Kitty's wedding after this so meanwhile Frank you have teased us with Kitten K. Serra so she got married

to the colour pink this week. She actually married the abstract concept, I suppose, of the colour pink. It's a difficult... She had a sort of life-size cut-out Pantone swatch. Oh, did she? Yeah. I was really hoping you were going to say Pink Panther. If she got someone in a Pink Panther, you know.

I went to a football match once with Tony the Tiger from Frosties. I was paid to be at his side. You've worked with them all, haven't you? You've worked with them all. And he said, oh, I feel terrible. I said, what's wrong, girl? Tony. Tony, yeah.

He said, I picked up a bit of heat stroke last week from being the Pink Panther. I'm not right. And we were at Wembley. Did you call it back? No, we weren't at Wembley. We were at a football match. I was with David Baddiel anyway.

He went off Tony the Tiger and just didn't come back. And we were supposed to be photographed watching the match with him. That was the deal. But it wasn't our fault. And somebody said, are you with Tony the Tiger? I said, well, might be. He said he's lying down on the floor by the refreshments. And I said, look, I'm not his keeper.

Good for you anyway so i but but the pink panther didn't turn up at um bet tony the tiger must have spoken he must have been softly spoken like the mars singer because they speak through the costume i know but he said a lot of great remember that was his He didn't feel great that day. Is that how he said it? I don't feel great. I hope so. I can't remember. He went very,

he wasn't right. He shouldn't have done the job. No. That simple as that. But once you let go of the Tony the Tiger franchise, you might not get it back

and there's the pressure. Good point. Anyway, so she married Pink. I perhaps have a surprising strong view on this. I don't like the fact that she married Pink because controversially, I prefer consent in a marriage, and we don't know that Pink has said yes, do we? No, that is difficult.

And the parents weren't there to give pink away red and white weren't there no no very good that would have been good well but you say that there were two lovely gentlemen in pink tuxedos who i don't know but i don't think she was romantically involved they were they pinks represented in many ways yes yeah i am i don't what my favorite thing about this whole story is she said i got the idea from a child who suggested to me that i loved you know pink so much and i remember when i was at school if anyone said i love cottage pie which said oh why don't you marry it then i think someone's done that to her. She's thought, you know, that's a great idea.

Well done, Junior. And she's taken it completely literally. I love pink. Why don't you marry it then? Obviously, they probably didn't do it in that accent. But the fact that someone has had that said to them and then has married it, I think that's a major breakthrough.

Reader. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. So, we were talking about Kitty K. Seurat, who's 58. I mean, you might think here in this story, I bet she's about, like, 26. No. No, no. No, no, no. She first started, she puts it, dating Pink as a 20-year-old woman.

Wow, she has started. It reminded me, I once saw Quentin Crisp live off Broadway doing a show. Quentin Crisp was, he called himself one of the stately homos of England. He was probably one of the first famous gay men. And he did a show and he talks about the fact he dressed like an Edwardian gentleman, velvet jacket and all that. And he said the key is to decide on your style and what it is and then throw everything else away

that doesn't fit with it and never buy anything that doesn't fit. Don't have trainers and jeans for a stay-in day. Stick with it. And it seems to me that this is what KKS has done. Well, she actually said in the article that she got dressed up all in pink for a party and felt fabulous or felt great felt really good and and decided that well why should this just be

for one party I'll I'll do it all the time and I was thinking she's really lucky actually that it was um wearing pink that made her feel great when she was 20 if she was going to do it every day. Because if it had been, like, strong cider, that's not good. It worked for me. Yeah. I think I was married to strong cider in the 1980s. We often woke up together, I must say. OK, it was soaked into my trousers but even

so oh my goodness I'm so sorry everyone yes but you know it would be easy to mock it would be easy to mock this woman woodpecker but I've got

I'm sort of like a commitment to this whole thing. She did say, I'm a flamingo in a world full of pigeons. Yeah, a bit harsh. I don't see myself as a pigeon. I see myself as much more of a battery girl. Okay. Okay?

I don't know. I think I see myself as some sort of corvid. We all know what Alan is. I'm one of those really dilapidated looking pigeons that you see just sort of around the bins, like eating takeaway and stuff. I wonder if she ever purchases a sporting pink. I don't know if you remember that phenomenon in Birmingham. I don't know if it still exists.

There was a thing called the Sports Argus which was a newspaper that was pink it came out on Saturday evenings with the football reports in them and there used to be a thing called the Pinken which I believe Kitty is known as in Hollywood

I'd love to know is there anyone out there do pink sports themed newspapers that come out on a Saturday night, do they still exist? And why were they pink? Can I ask a question? Is the Financial Times still pink? Oh, that's a good question.

That is a good question. That was one of the best decisions they made. I love that paper. In fact, it was... I've stopped taking the Financial Times. Have you? Have you guys? I've stopped taking the Birmingham Sports Arcus. Can I tell you what I love that paper. I've stopped taking the Financial Times. Have you? I've stopped taking the Birmingham Sports Argus.

Can I tell you what I love is taking? Yes. It shows you've got to be thoroughly well-bred. It's the sort of thing a colonel would say. Do you take the Telegraph? It was the Birmingham Sports Argus that caused me to first question the veracity of the media and whether you could trust what you read in the papers because England won the World Cup final in 66.

You may have heard of this. And on the cover of the Birmingham Sports Argus that night was a picture of Bobby Moore holding up the World Cup. And he was in the home kit of white shirt and black shorts, which they hadn't played in that day. And as a kid, I thought, hold it, what's going on here? And I realised that they'd had it all mocked up and ready because it's quick turnover on your sporting pinks,

especially with extra time. Nightmare for the press boys. Frank Skinner. Absolute radio. Do you remember we used to do on the show idiotic eureka moments? Yes. Something that you feel everyone else had realised,

you realised much, much later. Did you say you had one last week? I had one last week with OJ Simpson's nickname being The Juice. The Juice from Orange Juice. This week, and this is pink-themed, which is why I bring it up now, I was passing a Donking Donuts display. Mm, yeah.

And are you aware of the colour scheme on Donking Donuts? Is it something that everybody knows about this? I'm not. No, I mean, if you asked me and I had to say, I'd say it was a sort of brown. Yes, well, donking is brown and doughnuts is pink. And it's the first time I considered the fact that one is supposed to, because it's an American,

you donk them in coffee. And so the pink doughnut word represents a sort of iced donut and the brown donking is the coffee that you donk it in. Is that right? Well, it does, it makes absolute sense. Yes. I never even thought about the fact that they're, you know, the donking part of donking donuts, but they're for dipping in coffee.

Ah. Why? Maybe when you're casing a joint and sitting outside with another detective yes yeah that's a very specific market that they've targeted there isn't it but i'm sure that's what if anyone knows i'd love to know but that's what the color scheme says to me um absolutely on a similar color thing um uh i read that you know Daniel Craig wore a pink tuxedo to a velvet jacket

apparently he'd wanted to wear a white one but they put it in the wash with a red sock in there That's hilarious Of course soon he'll be able to wear a white one and then when he comes out of the cinema it'll be a black one Yeah Yeah

Paul's doctor has got in touch to say so doctor paul doctor says uh we had the green colored green final up in... Oh. He says Tayside. Is that pronounced incorrectly? No, that's right. Always delivered whilst I watched... Green. Noel's house party. Well, we...

I have a rare collector's item, a blue Birmingham sports Argus, because... Look at a lot of them i think it was um i think birmingham city versus west brahmos or i think that in the cop and so they bought i couldn't decide because the two local teams they went for a slightly different color but pink pink, I think, was the standard. But I didn't know there was any green ones. Oh, by the way, back to Kitty K. Serra. I saw an interview with Kitty where the interviewer, being a bit serious,

said, isn't it a problem in this modern world that we live in that when things are very bleak and there's bad news and you're feeling down, when you have trouble in your life, doesn't it feel a bit wrong to be wearing just pink? Doesn't it feel inappropriate? And Kitty said, and I'm quoting, no, I'm never sad because of pink.

And then she said, it makes the tragical magical. Wow. Oh, man, what a simple view of the world. I like. I love it. It makes the tragic. Makes the tragical magical. That's good to know.

Does it come from a similar school of thought to turn that frown upside down? I think it probably does, but there's something in there. I also read that toning down the violent passion of red with the purity of white produces something sweeter, more playful and more romantic. Wow. And that's why pink is so popular.

Yeah. Chew on that. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. 614 has news. Mm-hmm. We asked a number of questions at the beginning of the show. Some were concerning correct postcodes for various areas. Yeah, there was the Scalextric device. You asked how to fix a Scalextric.

It was a long hour. However, you asked something else. All of us asked something else. How does Anton Dubeck, I always say beak after Frank calls him beak.

Anton Dubeck, does he have progeny? Yes. Do you want to know the answer? Actually, it was offspring, wasn't it? I think it was offspring, yeah. Okay. Dubek Offspring. You probably can do a brilliant offspring. I'm guessing that's a name of some sort of dance move. It's a band. Does he have offspring?

He does. He has. Some sort of drum roll, maybe, or something going on, Frank? I don't know if you improvised. You don't have to do a whole whiplash thing. This will do it. Some sort of drum roll, maybe, or something going on, Frank? Hold on, hold on, hold on. I think I've got... Whiplash. This will do it.

Oh, that's good. Anton Dubek has twins. Oh, does he? Oh, lovely. Excellent. That's smashing. They'll be dancing together, won't they? Is this the most light-ent section of the show you've ever done

where I say Anton Dubek has twins and Frank says, that's smashing? I think it is. I'm pleased. That's made me really happy that Anton Dubek has twins. Me too. How marvellous. And me.

I interviewed Anton Dubek once and I really, really liked Anton de Beck has twins. Me too. How marvellous. And me. I interviewed Anton de Beck once, and I really, really liked him. I liked him. But I would say I didn't get his aftershave off my chest for 48 hours. I really felt like I'd come through. Good value. Why don't you marry him then?

Because of that. Because I wouldn't be able to breathe. But, no, that's good news. Anything else from the outside world before we wrap up this baby? Well, 676, a surprising amount of outrage. Morning, Timo. We're really talking about colour-changing cars. What happens when you use parking apps or complete official documents? Is there a

default colour or will we need a it depends on my mood option? Thanks Bronwyn in Sutton. Do you put the colour on a parking app? I think I just put the model and the licence plate.

I prefer to drive around for between 90 minutes and two hours trying to find somewhere free but yes that's because you don't live in london where you could drive forever trying to find that what is it 1972 that was the last time there was any free parking well this is what i always say about the old sean connery james, people are talking about the gadgets and all that. It's just parking outside the place you're going to. It's unbelievable. Watching the Beatles get back documentary, I was obsessed by that.

Oh, God, they just parked in Savile Row. They just turned up with Bentleys and rollers, which take up at least three spaces, and just parked outside. Just parked. Oh, man. Oh, imagine, Frank. Different times. It, imagine, Frank. Different times.

It really would be wonderful. What about when David Baddiel... That's the thing about being in The Beatles that we're jealous of. It's the parking. Yeah, exactly. They were around when the parking was still good. What about when David Baddiel...

I know we've got to go now, but what about when he drove to the BAFTAs? I said, how are you getting there? He said, I think I'll drive. Yeah. I said, drive. Well, when i interviewed anton de bet which was at um at um the cafe de paris in uh and is that was it um 1974. no but it's um piccadilly circus he drove yeah yeah some people i love that i mean you know i've drove driven in this morning but it's a bit

earlier i do it myself but the bafters come on i know i love it though it's a very 60s thing to do to just drive in it's like i've started drinking glasses of milk have i told you that this is one of the most retro things and uh i just circumstances i had to get rid of a glass of milk and i drank it and i thought you know what lovely that's nice yeah and now um semi-skimmed yummy i might start getting i might get some cookies maybe i'll get cookies. Shall I get cookies? Oh, sorry. So Sarah Champion's up next. Listen to Sarah.

I'm going to plug once again my poetry podcast. Episode two will be out on Wednesday. Yes. And you can still download the first episode, which came out last Wednesday. I should say the first episode was about a poet called Caroline Bird, who got in touch with her lovely message, which was, I love that, the fact that the poet liked it.

Amazing. This week I'm doing John Milton's Paradise Lost Book 1. I'm not anticipating any contact. No, he doesn't email. Well, it depends. We might hear from Okora from the other side. yeah but of course on the other side can he still a core is everywhere yeah well okay but anyway if you're fans if you've thought paradise lost why is why is that a good thing um um try it try it out it's great well like you know i studied it

at university but i have every confidence you'll make me fall in love with it in a way that the lecturers never did well i mean for example i point out that the way satan carries his shield in book one paradise lost is exactly the same as the way captain america carries here i'm in there you go i'm on about when they're not when they're rampant when they're cushion couchant. When they're couchant, obviously. Okay, look, thank you so much for listening. And if the good Lord spares us and the creeks don't rise, we'll be back again this time next week. Now get out. This is Frank Skinner.

This is Absolute Radio.