The Frank Skinner Show - Rinse Aid

Episode Date: August 27, 2022

Frank Skinner's on Absolute Radio every Saturday morning and you can enjoy the show's podcast right here. The Radio Academy Award winning gang bring you a show which is like joining your mates for a coffee... So, put the kettle on, sit down and enjoy UK commercial radio's most popular podcast. This week Frank and Emily are joined by Steve Hall. They discuss Welcome to Wrexham, dishwasher salt, silver foxes and it’s Steve’s Birthday!

This is Frank Skinner and Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Steve Hall is with us today and it's Steve Hall's birthday! Congratulations and jubilation Not cancelled, I know what you're thinking but not cancelled So you can text the show Not cancelled. I know what you're thinking, but not cancelled. So you can text the show. You can text the show on 8-12-15. Follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at Frank on the Radio. Email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk.

Is she still standing? I think she is, yeah. She's still standing. Elton, you all right? You just seem a bit... OK. Elton all right? Question. Why does Elton...

He's quite extreme spectacles wearer. He only does square or round. Nothing in between. between oh he must have done stars he must have done stars back in the day he did everything

he certainly did but do you know what I mean he's quite he's a statement spectacles wearer so either very square

or very round based on the windows in play school. His glasses have to fit through. Wasn't there a house? There was a house in the Piper Woods that looked like Elton John. It was a thatch cottage with square upper windows

and it really looked like Elton John. You told me that all the mums in your school playground growing up looked like Elton John. They did look like Elton John. You told me that all the mums in your school playground growing up looked like Elton John. They did look like Elton John, yeah. You know the people, the yummy mummy that didn't exist in Birmingham in the 60s and 70s. Oh, did they not work on that on the way back?

They looked like Sir Elton in Big Coat. Yeah. But we loved them. Yes, indeed. So, yeah, I don't know where we got to that but it doesn't matter. Who cares where we got to as soon as we love them. Yeah. Yes, indeed. So, yeah, I don't know where we got to that, but it doesn't matter. Who cares where we got to as soon as we got there? Exactly.

That's what Roald Amundsen, I remember, said to me once. Extraordinary. Okay. Okay. So, I was driving down Park Lane last night. Fancy. Very nice. And, ironically, I couldn't find anywhere to park.

And that's deliberately misleading people, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. So, Emily asked me, not five minutes ago, who was Daryl Dekay? Well, I was intrigued by a video, a West Brom player. He's a West Brom player, I know that much. But there was a video that seems to have gone viral of him. Well, Daryl Dike, he made a confession this week,

which I think you particularly will like, Emily, you being a fashion goddess of old. Yeah. Less of the old. Less of the old thank you um that uh daryl who arrived at the albion what would it be about eight months ago i suppose something like that and uh got injured almost immediately and then from barcelona uh from he's playing in uh the msl is that what they call it the american league oh okay yeah i know you mean major soccer league yeah so he's playing in the MSL. Is that what they call it? The American League?

Oh, okay, yeah. I know what you mean. Major Soccer League. Yeah, so he's playing out there. But he looked the part. He looked like he was going to be great, so he got injured, and then he started this season. Thank goodness he got over it.

He got injured again. Oh. So he's had time to, you know... Reflect. Think about stuff. Go on social media. And one of the things he's confessed to is having been here for eight months,

when he first arrived, he went out and got all his stuff so he could wash his clothes in his lovely flat and all that. And he accidentally, he realises now that for the last eight months he's been washing all his clothes in dishwasher fluid. He's got the old Powerball going on the smalls. Yeah, somebody said, on Twitter I think he said he's arriving at the training ground

smelling like a Finnish Powerball. But he had no idea. So I don't know what that, I wonder if he gets those lumps of pasta. You know those lumps of pasta sauce that just never come off? You have to do them separately with your fingernail. I hate that. Well, I've only just discovered the whole salt thing. Oh, the salt? What is that about?

Somebody said, I said, oh, it's not cleaning properly. They said, if you put the salt in. I said, no, no, I'm not talking about the Victorian wash house that I have in my cellar. I'm talking about a dishwasher, a 21st century dishwasher. Now you have to put salt in. I bet Daryl Deacon

didn't know that. He's probably put in his washing machine. Salt, now salt. Yeah, we're cooking fish and chips in his dishwasher. Exactly.

Exactly. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Frank was telling us off air he got a text about Daryl Dukie and I think that's so nice

that people are contacting you about your team. Yes. Well, it was actually from Matt Ford and it was

repeating a tweet that said he's been, Daryl's been walking into training smelling like a Finnish Powerball and I texted back I'm just happy he's walking I don't think he's

ever had an injury before and he's come to the Alba, I think it could be something to do, if there's any physiotherapist stroke former laundrette workers listening, I just wonder if that somehow contributed to his injury. Yeah.

How did he find out? Was he told? Did someone say? No, he said he went to buy another pack of it and couldn't find it in the washing up section, in the washing powder section. I thought, that's weird I think he asked someone

the brand name and they said no mate so salt in dishwashers yes is that a crime a salt in dishwashers here's my theory because I don't like part of me loves putting the salt in,

because I love pouring it in. Because you put it right up to the top, but I don't like the crunchy dial thing, you know, when you have to screw it back on. That's a very walking down a gravel path noise. It's very Radio 4 sound effects. I think it is arriving at the Great Gatsby's party. Anyway.

Oh, dear. So, I have a theory. I'm not convinced you need the salt. Here's my theory. I think it's a Betty Crocker type of scenario. Do you know what that is? Is she like an American super housewife? She is famous for the cake mix.

Okay. I mean, that's pretty is famous for the cake mix. Okay. I mean, that's pretty much all she's famous for. Okay. But when they originally sold the cake mix, none of the American ladies liked it at the time. When would this be, 50? Yeah. It made them feel lazy. So someone solved this.

A marketing genius said, I know, say add one egg and then they'll love it because then they'll feel involved in the process and they'll feel less guilty. I think that's what they've done with the salt. I don't believe we need the salt. I think they're Betty Crocodiles and they've said, oh, let's pretend, let's say to them they need to add salt so they feel involved. I'm buying that because that works. The sense of achievement.

If I do the double, if I do the salt and the rinse aid, I feel like I deserve an hour. I did rinse aid in 1997 at Wembley. Hang on. I've never done the rinse aid. I don't know what the rinse aid is. What's the rinse aid? There's a thing on the front of the dishwasher,

there's lights that say... I've seen that. There's a light that comes on that says, needs salt, and there's one that says, needs rinse aid. And you have to stick it, so it's a light that comes on that says needs salt and there's one that says needs rinse aid and you have to stick it so it's a liquidy thing and you stick it in.

What kind of talk is this? Am I being pranked by my dishwasher? Rinse aid? No. You know what? What a lousy charity that would be

to raise money for rinsing things. I mean, really? It should be presented by someone really... I tell you what, mate, you've been rinsed. Yeah. Yes, people drive their car and give it a quick rinse. Danny Baker can do a spin-off of the doorstep challenge from Kaz.

Danny Dyer, you've been absolutely rinsed, mate. I've also got something else I'd like to share with you, Frank. Yeah? I've been listening... You're not going to share it with Steve? We're keeping him out of this. Oh, yes, that's true. Steve, that's very cruel of me.

It's his birthday. It's my birthday. I'm really middle-aged. I love the way Frank says birthday. Say it again. No. Oh, it's so adorable. It's the anniversary of Steve's birth.

Oh, it's so adorable. It is the anniversary of Steve's birth. I don't want him to be self-conscious. Well, we've got... Oh, no, you're really helping now. Why don't you say that again on air? Come on, we'll gather round, everyone. Frank's going to say it again. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio.

I don't know if you any regular readers will recall but a few weeks ago I was talking about what ridiculous things you've seen written on your clothing you know when it says things like 1958 solid canvas Miami

and stuff like that on a tank top. Not a tank top, usually a hooded top. You think, well, no one ever questions what it all means. And I've got a T-shirt on today

which I think falls into this category. Oh, Frank. It says Blue Guru Unplugged. And then it says 27 in the corner, doesn't it? If anyone can help me out with what on earth that means, it's got a picture of a gentleman with a turban and large beard in a full lotus position. It has the look of it could have been a band in the 60s it does have that i

can imagine it on a photo copied poster next to jefferson airplane separated by some psychedelic swirls yeah it's got that it was live at the film or yeah as for um 1957 heavy-duty canvas Miami. Do you know what I'm finding slightly depressing? When I was younger, it was always Los Angeles. And it was things like 1964 or 1952. Now, it's things like 1989, 94. I don't like that. Frank, can I share this with that. No, no need to.

Frank, can I share this with you? Rosie Ross has tweeted us, went to the new Forest Reptile Centre. Oh, a place I tried to find once. I never found it. I mean, Steve, we honestly drove up and around and down 50 times before. I mean, I've never been there.

You never made it off the motorway, is that right? No, no, I think we went on to some country lanes. Is that an area famed for quite patchy Wi-Fi reception with a sat-nav? It's famed for that? Yeah, it's the only thing. The new forest. You see, I'm thinking pony. I don't know about you guys.

Trees. Is that true? It's famous for its patchy one. My brother goes to the New Forest quite a lot and says they always lose Wi-Fi and the sat-nav goes crazy. What does he do there? He works at the New Forest. Yeah, yeah.

Peptile centre. Yeah, his brother-in-law owns a little cottage there so they sometimes oh lovely okay you

well Rosie Ross has a review yeah Rosie Ross's review we should do this regularly to the three R's I can't quite

I can't quite move on from the little cottage you're sharing there but I'm going to hold on to that do people still talk about the three R's being important in education reading writing and arithmetic there's also a fall song he talks about the three r's repetition repetition and repetition

anyway what's uh what's the review he became a bit wcC. Fields, Marky Smith. Did he there? Repetition, repetition. I was telling some friends only last night about Baby Leroy. Oh, yeah. Baby in the W.C. Fields movies. It's not a lovely story, so we'll move on. Went to the new Forest Reptile Centre. You dodged a bullet. It consisted of three frogs and one lizard.

Oh, no. Rosie is also... I mean you could see that in a forest without having to build anything around it. Rosie has also said I hope the grass snake is having a better time I've made sense of that by a picture enclosed which shows a whiteboard written in green, pod four, the grass snake is on holiday. Oh, wow. Wow, I'm still trying to find this way back. Yeah, yeah. Grass snake's in a car somewhere going,

we're completely lost. There are homing pigeons flagging down the car saying, have you any idea where? Well, it says pod three, you can see the snake, and then pod four, the grass snake is on holiday i'm worried if you go to a reptile center and anything is referred to as the snake you're gonna feel they're a bit understocked frank skinner on absolute radio i was just going to share with you briefly from 501.

Hi, Frank. I'm a long-time reader, but I rarely get to listen live. Oh, welcome, Matty G. However, today is one such occasion, and there's something that's been on my mind for a while that we need to discuss. OK? OK, I'm ready. Take a deep breath, because I know sometimes that can be quite stressful, hearing that.

You have previously noted the unreported extinction of silverfish. Would you... Well, I don't see silverfish anymore. When I grew up, I would get up, if I got up in the night or anything and put the light on, silverfish have assembled on the floor and they all scattered to the skirting board. That was a bit of a disappointing Marvel franchise. Silverfish assembled. Anyway, Matty G continues.

What if it's Matt Goss? Oh, yeah. I love him. Anyway, you've previously noted the unreported extinction of silverfish and I too had thought they were now a phenomenon consigned to my childhood. A few years ago, I moved from London to Birmingham. Yes, it is better.

And imagine my surprise and joy to find a shoal of silverfish living the life of Riley in my bathroom. I also have a lot of earwigs in the garden. Coincidence? Less keen. I think not. also have a lot of earwigs in the garden. Coincidence? Less keen. I think not. Yeah, less keen on earwigs, but silverfish, that's good. I like the shoal as well.

I don't know if that is the collective noun for silverfish, but it should be. Perhaps someone could tell us, someone who knows it. Who would know about those things? Some sort of zoologist. Maybe Attenborough? Still alive in 96? I don't want to get him involved he probably sent me a video

of silverfish being set fire to by children silverfish getting into some fisticuffs with the earwigs obviously silver fox is regarded as quite a flattering thing he's a bit of a silver fish

grey haired sort of a silver fish. Yeah. Grey-haired, sort of a good-looking grey-haired man used to be a silver fox. Which is odd because you never heard that said of a grey-haired woman

even though women used to be called quite foxy fish. Yeah. Strange contradiction it seems to me. Who would you say is currently sat

in the silver fox chair? Clooney. I think. Oh, lovely. I would you say is currently sat in the silver fox chair? Clooney, I think. Oh, lovely. I would say Clooney. I'm going to put Lineker in there as well. Oh, Martin Kemp. Lovely. I saw David Gedge from The Wedding Present.

Oh, yeah. Magnificent band. He previously had dyed his hair black and it looked like someone who'd obviously overdone it on the Just For Men. And he's now embraced his silverness and it looked like someone who'd obviously overdone it on the Just For Men and he's now embraced his silverness and he looks incredible. I like that we've gone Clooney, Lineker,

David Gued from The Wedding Press. I love that. Exactly. Yeah, I'm thinking of who's the guy who did Blue Velvet and Erase the Head and all those movies?

David Lynch. David Lynch. He's a good Silver Fox. Lovely. And he explodes into Silver Foxiness. But who's your female Silver Fox? Wow. Now you're talking. Tricky, isn't it?

We're going to have to give that some thought. Any female members of the wedding present? we were talking about Silver Fox we were talking about and we could come up with a track from Blue Guru there on Plot. And we discovered that there seemed to be a number of men that immediately... Silver Fox.

I mean, too many men to discuss possible Silver Fox. Struggling a bit with a female. What does that tell you about society and its attitudes to ageing? Well, Lisa... No, it wasn't a rhetorical question. No, no, carry on. Lisa, 66, has got in touch.

All right, now I need to start naming and shaming. Now, I think... I don't know but I feel I don't want to lead the witness here but I just think this might be a little bit up your strides

of Frank Skinner Jamie Lee Curtis is your female silver fox I always loved Jamie Lee and then I interviewed Jamie Lee

and she was everything I wanted and more she was fantastic and she married married to comedy greatness as well, isn't she? Oh, bring that up! Who's she married to? Christopher Guest.

Oh, is she? Lord Guest. Yes, indeed. He's posh, Frank. Yeah. Just so you know off-air sometimes what Frank does. So, he's posh, isn't he? Yeah.

She's posh, isn't she? I. She's posh, isn't she? I think it's good to mind. I don't do it with madness. I know. Just categorisation. My female silver fox would be the woman in the colour supplements

who walks into a walking bath. She's an attractive woman. Well, so far we've got Jamie Lee Curtis and then we've got 766 Morning Team suggestions for female silver fox, Helen Mirren, or newly self-outed as silver, Dawn French. Helen Mirren, point of order there,

I wouldn't describe as silver. I think it's that Beverly Hills blonde, which is that sort of ash blonde for a lady in the winter of her years. That's interesting, that distinction. We were discussing, Faye in the studio was mentioning Gillian Anderson and we were trying to remember whether or not... Can you not name check? Why?

Extraordinary caveat. Have I broken a cardinal rule in the street? Because I'm going to have to say she's posh. But no, you made me do it. Anyway, carry on, Steve.

Faye... Don't mention my name for heaven's sake. Gillian Anderson. And we were discussing whether or not she's... And I just had a quick Google while R.E.M. were playing. And she is indeed occasionally grey. There's a few images where she's allowed herself to go natural.

Do we allow that? No, absolutely not. Is it an occasional silver fox fox or do they have to fully embrace permanent silver foxes you've got to be committed silver fox you can't dally

with this we've also had Iona has tweeted to suggest Penelope Keith and not not in jest I think

with no disrespect to Penelope Keith no I'll give you silver no I love Penelope she. No. I'll give you silver. No. I love Penelope.

She is posh. She is posh. David Taylor, who used to be a snooker player, it was the first person I ever heard described as a silver fox. I mean, I don't know if he... I'd love to find out that that's where it originated. Well, 923 has said, can you add a footstool to the silver fox chair and include those that dyed their hair to cover the grey

and then gave up and appeared to go grey overnight? Example, Sir Tom Jones. Schofield. A fag including Goatee. Barrowmane scoffield yeah barrowman yeah good one yeah okay the footstool yes i embrace the footstool wholeheartedly as a concept i think that's a great idea yeah footstool for the chair um yeah so there is something wrong there that we ought to be able to name hundreds of yes i do think, though, it has always been the case, has it not, that women are much more casual about dyeing their hair,

even in their youth, than men. Men see it as a bit of a thing that you have to be all ashamed of and stuff like so many things that men think. Anyway, we'll be back on the sort for today. We'll be discussing many things that men think. Anyway, we'll be back on the sort for today. We'll be discussing many things that men think later. Yeah, with the Reverend Frank Skinner. We'll be there for more thoughts after this. This is Frank Skinner.

This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Steve Hall is here today, the birthday boy. You can text the show on 8-12-15, follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at frankontheradio. Email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk.

John Hopkins, one of our regulars. Hopkins. He's been in touch. He said, I'm going to go route one on the old Silver Fox theme. Male Clooney, female Mirren. Although, ex-Villa midfielder Lee Hendry is cutting quite the dashing figure on Soccer Saturday at the moment. But again, a man. Absolutely right.

471 has texted, pointing out, surely the women should be called silver vixens, not foxes. Yeah, but it sounds... Why are you saying that? But what about

foxy lady? And all that. Vixen-y lady. Yeah. Also silver vixen. No, it's too many syllables. Sorry, 471, I fought the good fight for you. No, it's too many syllables. Sorry, 471, I fought the good fight for you.

No, it makes absolute sense. Mixer sounds a bit LV or a mistress of the night or whatever. Also, you know, like most people now, I see gender as no more than a bourgeois construct. Have you seen 398? Posh Silver Fox, Zannie Minton Beddoes, editor of The Economist. That is, I must admit,

is one I will have to Google. Unless she's the walking bath lady part-time. Has Samantha Fox gone grey? I mean, it shows the difference that I'm thinking, which Minton Beddoes is that? I hesitated to read out that text in case it was a fake. like Zanny mint and beddows you google it and it's some sort of

You google it. I think I used to go sledging in mint and beddows Well talking of sledging we've had Ruth Scott in touch about the cricket Oh yeah. Did Frank note that Ben Stokes and Ben Foulkes both

scored centuries? I mean, he knows already. In England's first innings at Old Trafford this week, I know the Bens have had a mention on the show before. Emily was taken aback that there's a Ben Stokes and a Ben Fowkes in the same team. It's not made enough of. No, well, yeah, they both got hundreds. Wowee.

Isn't it funny? do you have friends that when you see something on tv it really sticks in your mind even though it's not something they do whenever i see the cricket i saw a clip this morning i thought oh frank will be pleased about that absolutely correct whenever i see men in white sort of go yay on a field with the cricket i still get it so the fact that andy zaltzman, our comedy friend, is now living his perfect life. Now, if ever a bloke got their dream job, or woman, it was Andy Zaltzman. He's now this...

I mean, I've been at several cricket matches with Andy Zaltzman. What does he do? Does he do cricket commentary? And Andy Zaltzman, on a cricket match, before he did any of this, he's always on his phone saying, actually, that's the only the third time at Old Trafford that an eighth wicket stand

has gone above 63 I mean it's all that stuff and now he's doing it for a living so he's the statistician on Test Match Special it's really it is everything

and he's done some amazing stuff in comedy but that's the perfect thing I wouldn't say amazing. I'm joking, I'm joking. Oh my God. I'm joking. Is he posh?

Oh no, I don't think so. He's so definitive now. His dad's an artist. He's from Bohemian. Oh, is he like, he's arts and crafts like me? His dad is an acclaimed sculptor. I didn't know. But then again, no.

Yeah. And then he was in The Three Stooges, of course, in his early days, Andy. Ultra Magnus. I cannot believe everyone is overlooking the Queen. Hashtag Silver Vixen. That's actually not a bad point. Voice of controversy, I'm going to say that.

No, I think she's... Oh, she looks fabulous. In her platinum year. So listen, I was platinum. I thought she was silver. Make your mind up. Anyway, I was sitting in a social group the other night with some people who I didn't know that well, but who were very nice. And I was talking about, there was a couple there who I love.

And I said, you know, I still can't believe that I didn't go to your wedding. Everything, all the universal truths suggest I should have go to your wedding. Everything, all the universal truths suggest I should have been at your wedding. And they said, you didn't know us when we got married. I said, yeah, but I don't think time is a good enough excuse. And this guy said, I love that. I'm having that. He said, I'm going to put that in one of my songs.

And it turns out he's in a band. Well, normally when you say this, it's a placebo or something. No, no, I didn't know the band. But I didn't say, hold on a minute. I let it go. I let it be stolen. But it did make me think that apparently Ringo Starr, they said, how are you doing, Ringo Starr they said how are you doing Ringo

and he said oh I've had a hard day's night and it was like a mistake and John Lennon thought I'm having that and then at Tamla one of the backing musicians I think said somebody said let's go to the bar and he said I second that emotion and that became a song

I just thought it might be unusual lyric origins. Might be a good text text. I find that interesting. I like that. Let's put a ban on... All people stealing your ideas. I'm very happy to do that.

I've got a lot of material on that. Let's avoid What's the Frequency, Kenneth, which is about an attack in the street. Yes. Let's avoid that one. But Dan Rather. Yes. In fact, who I think used to present with Sheila, actually.

But yeah, unusual lyric origins. I'd like to hear that. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. that. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Can I just share something with you both?

I've discovered a wonderful source of comfort and entertainment. It sounds Daryl Dean. He's been using that in the oven.

A wonderful source of comfort slash entertainment for my canine best friend. Oh, yeah. Not just canine, I don't need that caveat, best friend. OK. Sorry, Frank, you're in there. No, it's all right. But Ray is pole position at the moment.

I've discovered a Simon Callow dog story. Are you familiar with Simon Callow? Would you care to maybe refresh the readers who aren't familiar, boys? Yes, Simon Callow played Charles Dickens in only the second episode of the revived Doctor Who. He's a famous English actor. For weddings?

Yeah, well, I'm surprised to hear that. He seems quite loyal. And he also does a one-man show about Shakespeare. He's a very... I mean, he loves the theatre. Yes. And he provides a voice in the fantastic kids' cartoon Sarah and Duck. Does he really? Well, he also provides a voice in the fantastic kids cartoon, Sarah and Duck. Does he really?

Well, he also provides a voice in the fantastic Dogs audiobook. It's not really an audiobook, it's quite brief. But what's great, he gives it some welly. What I like about Callow is that he doesn't think, oh, it's a dog story, I'll just... Can we just establish, I feel you've moved on a little. This is stories for dogs. Not about

dogs. No, stories for dogs. Well, it turns out dogs are quite egocentric. They like stories only about dogs. He tends to prefer stories about human beings. Is he using human speech? It's not Simon Callow going, Well, it might. I think we can say it might as well be.

I mean, isn't that what he often does? And he has Brian Blessed. I would say that the money spent on the writer of those stories has been somewhat wasted. Because he could have gone, da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da, and the dogs would have loved it. What he does, he uses, I've read up all about it,

because my dog is gripped, my best friend's dog loves these stories, he uses what he calls a special dog intonation. Okay. So, which I call actors that my parents knew, thought like this. He says, there was a very special dog, he had a long tail, he extends all his consonants and vowels in that actuary way and i am barking to your barking from a joining apartment he was a good boy oh i don't like it yeah well you wouldn't have like rather much because that's what they teach you to speak you hear the creaking of a wheelbarrow full of money being carted off. It sounds like,

shouldn't that be at 78 rather than 45? Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. I tell you what, we never mentioned, off air we mentioned this, the Grecian 2000 phenomenon.

So we're talking about silver foxes. Grecian 2000, for our younger listeners, who I obviously now don't exist, but anyway, was an advert, it was a product, which you put on your grain temples. I don't mean if you were a Tibetan monk, I mean on your head. I was thinking an Athenian. Yes, maybe.

They were very great. I find marble ages very badly. Anyway, and then we got to the year 2000 and beyond. I busted. I think they got a bit worried that it sounded a bit out of date. In fact, it needed a bit of Grecian 2000. But the advert used to be a young child saying to her dad, oh, daddy, you're getting really old with your grey hair.

It's a real cruel, savage opening. And then he would go for it. But Emily has just said to me, Christian 2000, was that to get rid of grey hair or to introduce it? I thought it was to give you George Clooney, silver fox flex. Because I suppose when I was sort of younger, I thought that was a desirable look because all my dad's friends had that. I call it the BBC producer hair.

Yeah. No, it was for men who just can't the aging process did it did it dye it black then was it one color i think it was just you're ronald reagan i am reminded of the opening um chapter of tonyascarino's autobiography. Tony Cascarino, the former Republic of Ireland and several other club sides. I think a man who was once sold for 20 tracksuits was the fee. It's all kind of a Judas Iscariot. Out of the back of a lorry, wasn't it? 20 tracksuits! That was his fee. Out of the back of a lorry, wasn't it? The autobiography, his autobiography,

begins with him in the mirror dyeing his hair black because he's view is if the coach looks around the dressing room and it's a toss of a kind between him and the younger guy, he'll see that grey hair and think, maybe not Tony this week. Wow, that's a really good insight. Yeah, good opener. I wonder if Bobby Charlton ever had that. No.

That's because they always pick Bobby Charlton. Can I share this with you? I'm still laughing about the tracksuits. Someone will have the exact details of that. I think it was 20. What a fee, though. I mean, 30 pieces of leisure wear.

I mean, you don't want your fee arriving in JD Sports bags. See for yourself. That should happen more in the transfer market. Yeah, I don't think so. Mmm. Oh, sorry, I was having some coffee. I was like a woman on a coffee advert

going, mm, lovely coffee. Simon of Sudbury. Ah, yes. I mean, I love Simon of Sudbury. I can't lie, I do. Hi all, in my factory working youth, my friends and me used to refer to the grey-coated, grey-haired,

old bloke... I thought he was sort of, was a sort of junior monk. So did I. Somewhere, Simon of Sudbury. He worked in a factory. Yes, but that's why I think he's had an interesting trajectory. Yeah, yeah.

He's somewhat Skinnerian, I feel. The grey-haired, grey-coated, old bloke on the shop floor were referred to as the Grey Undead, which I guess is the diametric opposite to the concept of the Silver Fox. Yes. Would you say so? Yeah, well, yeah, it seems a little unkind. Yeah.

I'd say. 644 from Donna Hallow's Re-Unusual Lyrics. I remember reading somewhere, probably Smash Hits magazine, that Julian Cope's song World Shut Your Mouth was inspired by Jim Kerr shouting the phrase from a hotel balcony in Italy

when he was trying to get some sleep. Oh, okay. I quite like that. I like that as well. It was an unusual, unusual origins. She did come up

with an origin story. That was good, but I don't want anyone sending in something like misheard lyrics. We'll have to close the entire station down. Laura Long. Morning. Morning.

Laura Long says, morning. Salt needed for hard water three exclamation marks yeah i don't really buy the hard water soft water i think it's a conspiracy i just think it is really wet water you'll find is uh yeah i mean this idea that some water you can't get a lather on your soap because it's too hard. Is that actually true? I've not heard of it in terms of soap. I just thought it was more like lime scale in the kettle. Well, no, that doesn't surprise me.

What about Clive in Sheffield? Dear Frank and Co, I wish we had a company called Frank and Co. What would we make? Jeans, perhaps? Why, just suits with nothing worn underneath, like the Frank and Co monster. Yeah, go on, what does he have to say? Go on! One of the songs that sticks in my mind as having a really unusual lyric origin,

got the brief, nailed it. Yeah, got the brief. Is So Far So Good. Is the tale of a rock band about to do a gig in Switzerland after Frank Zappa when the casino catches fire? Is it Smoke on the Water? Yeah, by Deep Purple. Some stupid with a flare gun is what they say. That's not what they say.

Never heard stupid used as a noun before. Some stupid with a flare gun. Oh, is that how it goes? You know one of the great rock riffs of all time? Of course. Yeah. I didn't know about the some stupid detail. Some stupid with a flare gun.

Yeah, that's a great line. Yeah. Yes, that was a real incident, apparently. There was literally smoke on the water. Well, we've had a few big mo's, but I don't know if I should. I think that's cruel. We should say a big mo is a story that is delivered as if no one's ever heard it before,

and most people have heard it before. Let's leave it there. We call it a big mo because Gary Oldman's sister plays big mo, and people deliver that as you'll never guess. But we all knew. We all knew. And we've also had, I'm going to call this a peak Frank Skinner show, subject line in an email, Super Marionette Smoking.

Okay. So that was, yes. So Super Marionation was what the Thunderbird, Stingray, etc. were filmed in. Who smoked in those? Well, Mr. Clive gets in touch. Something out of Pipkin. Mr. Clive got in touch to say he actually had this room booked for nine o'clock. We've all got to get out. It's a different Mr. Clyde.

Okay. Dear Frank and Emily and Plus One. Sorry, Steve, but people don't know in advance. He got in touch during the week, yeah. Read the Stingray discussion last week. I have a friend whose nickname is Troy after the character from Stingray. Troy Tempest. It's not because he bears a striking resemblance to James Garner.

It's because his head is proportionately larger than his body. Well, I add a bit. One of my first ever reviews said I looked like a thunderbird puppy because my head was bigger than my body. He's still known to us all 30 years on as Troy rather than his real name, Jonathan. I think there were just simply too many Johns and Jonathans in

the group of friends at the time, so it had to be Troy. When you say it had to be Troy, I mean... Then Mr Clive continues, sorry, I forgot to add, how uncomfortable it made me feel seeing stingray-slash-thunderbird puppets smoke cigarettes while sweating. Sweating. Oh, yes, sweating was a good one. I'm sure that Virgil mopping his water-repelling brow whilst under pressure

in some stressful or tropical disaster situation was meant to build tension, but it made me feel physically sick. The illusion of the character smoking was clearly some prop guy blowing ciggy smoke down a plastic tub linked to the puppets' heads. I'm sure there were outtakes of smoke

billowing out of Jeff Tracy's eye sockets and ears. There'd be brilliant outtakes we need those in our lives definitely so if you'd been compared

to a Thunderbirds puppet in last week's show you got quite upset when Zoe said she was a

very good parker tremendous work by Hall we're not going to try and

follow that this link Frank Skinner Frank Skinner Absolute Radio Absolute Radio work by all. We're not going to try and follow that, this link. We are eating cake made by the much name-checked Faye as part of

Steve's birthday celebration. I say as part of it's Steve's birthday celebration. It sounds delicious as of it's Steve's birthday celebration it's delicious as well it is fabulous cake yeah

it's I feel I'm 46 which feels like one of those it's not worth oh you've got I thought you was

old really it's the hair there is the days of possibly getting Grecian 2000 are long gone for me yeah

I don't think it's worth to massage it into the scalp yeah never be a silver fox you could do one of those things that the you know the snooker thousand are long gone for me. Yeah, I don't think he's managed to massage it into the scalp. Never be a silver fox. You could do one of those things that the, you know, the snooker, Jimmy White used to,

had a spray can, and he sprayed, you know that party string? He used to spray that as hair onto his head. Try that out. Did he? I think you're a good bald man. You've got a good head shape for it. I'll take that.

I'd be a terrible bald man. Worst, worst ever. Really? Oh, light bulb bald man. You don't want that. I think you'd be quite intelligent looking. No, exactly. Look like I was 2,000 years ahead in evolution.

Yeah. Is that a man from Mars or is it Frank Skinner gone bald the Mekon in Dandere is I'm thinking

as my reference have you ever worn a bald cap for anything I have yeah extraordinary conversation you two have

I have and I look terrible do you yeah I can't afford to go bald was it a sketch one of your skits

one of my skits yeah okay Howdy Doody has got in touch oh yeah Howdy Doody Paul

Simon's Mother and Child reunion which he saw on a Chinese restaurant menu it's a chicken and egg dish

is it really mother and child of course chicken and egg. It's an incredibly dark joke. Mother and child reunion.

Wow. I love that. That's brilliant. This is one of my own and I'm worried that this might be a big mo. We mentioned the Beatles earlier that eight days a week, I think that came from Paul McCartney

mishearing something the tour manager said on a plane. And that he said something about how hard they'd been working and just because of the noise of the plane, McCartney hears we've been working eight days a week. Right. But that could be... Although it does seem like quite a... And I'm an honorary Scouse.

It's quite a Scouse thing to say if the tour manager was Scouse. We've been looking eight days a week here, pal. But you are... Wasn't it Derek Taylor, the tour manager?

Was he? It sounds like it must be. I know he was the PR guy, I think. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, I wouldn't say... It must have been

really loud playing to miss here seven for eight. But, you know, it might be true, Steve. Okay. It might not. Simple as that. At least, as long as it's not a big mo, that's... No, it's not a big mo, it's a big lie.

Which I don't know if that's better or worse. This isn't true. Okay. That's always a good preamble. Well, maybe it is. I shouldn't sound so definitive about this. You've gone a bit pics or it didn't happen. Yes, I have a bit. This isn't true.

I've gone a bit a sort of TV station with quite extreme views. Poncho Yeah, it's okay. Poncho Sombrero. Ticket to Ride ischo Sombrero ticket to ride is actually about a train ticket

to ride on the Isle of Wight I don't think it's true even Faye's crossing it to a place called ride

there is certainly they did go pre-fame there is a tale where they have a little holiday on the Isle of Wight

oh maybe it is have you got mixed up with that'll be the day which I think was filmed on the Isle of Wight. Oh, maybe it is. Have you got mixed up with That'll Be the Day, which I think was filmed on the Isle of Wight? I'd like to apologise to Poncho Sombrero.

I'm trying to make this sound as dignified as possible. Okay. By the time, that sounds like a checklist. That's a deal. I, um, when we come back, I promise we won't mention any of this again we'll just see this as a year zero

I want to discuss something with you boys have you caught the documentary Welcome to Rexham Rexham why did the producer laugh documentary Welcome to Rexham? Rexham? Why did the producer laugh when I said Rexham? Is that weird, Frank? Something weird about Rexham?

Look, if they laugh, just don't ever go anymore. Is it wrong, Rexham? I thought you were saying it deliberately, so it's Rexham, but I thought you were saying it in the style of... I thought you were saying it as Ryan Reynolds. No, OK, Wrexham. Wrexham. Wrexham. OK, anyway.

It's not as in West Ham. It's as in... I know, I can't say that. I'm familiar with the team, and I'm familiar with the place. It's just a pronunciation difficulty. Yes, you'd say um, not am. OK, but it's like I say Birmingham. That's all right. Going down to, but it's like I say Birmingham. That's alright.

Going down to Birmingham is a little Richard song. It follows Way down in Alabama is what it says.

Who did what was the other song, Frank? Way down on the counter three, uh-huh. That is called Way Down.

Oh, lovely. Way on down. Anyway. It follows the fortunes of Rex, Ham, it follows way on down anyway it follows the fortunes of Rex um Rexon which has been bought by two Americans Rob McElhaney

and the other one Ryan Reynolds technically Canadian Ryan Reynolds Deadpool isn't he? yes I must admit I don't know the work of the other guy Deadpool is brilliant

he's on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia which is it's always on but I've never watched it it is honestly one of the very best sitcoms that there has ever been

it is an absolute masterpiece it's the longest it's the longest running sitcom longest running live action sitcom when the creator of Shane is sitting here

I'm appalled it's the longest running live action sitcom longest-running live-action sitcom. How can you say that when the creator of Shane is sitting here? I'm appalled. It's the longest-running live-action sitcom in US TV history. 15 seasons. And season two, Danny DeVito joins and it gets magnificent. That's my little... Honestly, watch it. Are you doing a read? I'm fishing.

I will work for food. We get accused of doing reads when we talk about things. OK, that's good. So, Rob McElhaney and Ryan Reynolds, already they bought Wrexham. Yes. You said it right. We actually talked about this on the show.

They were going to buy Wrexham, and I think we thought it couldn't possibly happen, because they're American stars, TV and film stars. And they did. And Wrexham, in case you're not into football, are not,

they're not in the league. No. They are in that league below. So they've, you know, they're not, they're not in the, I mean.

What's it called that league? Is it what was Russian and Diamonds? It's the National League. Yeah. Back in the day it was Russian and Diamonds. They's the National League. Yeah. Back in the day, it was Russian and Diamonds. They bought a non-league team.

And what I loved, I mean, I love this documentary because I liked Rob McElhaney. There was honesty. I'm going to go Skinnerian levels of honesty, which I enjoyed, in that he said,

well, you know, I had money, but I had TV money. Yeah. He said, I know, I had money, but I had TV money. He said, I didn't need TV money. What I needed was movie star money, and not just movie star money. I needed superhero movie star money. And that's why I hit Rob up. And then he said, and I needed, and he listed about five companies that Ryan Reynolds had got.

And do you know what? It was, I respect that honesty. I loved it. Well, and what surprised? It was, I enjoy, I respect that honesty. I loved it. Well, and what surprised me about, when I heard this story originally about two American stars buying Wrexham, I assumed that they were two mates who were having a drink one night

and put a pin in the football map. And it happened like, they'd never met. Yeah, that's, I couldn't believe yeah that's they bought the club before they actually met and there was a line i loved i think it was ryan reynolds who said it and when he met what's the other guy called again henny when he when he met him when he met him he said oh man it's great to see you not through a Disney princess filter. He's worked on that a bit, but it's a great line for someone you've only met on whatever it's called. We've had an email.

Someone has said that on the subject of inspirations for lyrics, someone is... I'm looking for their name. Sam has said, in the early 90s, there was a girl's perfume called Teen Spirit. I once read that during a recording or rehearsal of Nirvana's... of Nirvana's in the early 80s, a girlfriend of one of the band members made a comment that Kurt smells like Teen Spirit, the rest is history.

That's not quite correct. Oh. If I can nerd it up for a second. If you can nerd it up, I think you will. Kurt Cobain was very good friends with Kathleen Hanna, the singer from Bikini Kill, who is now married to Ad Rock from the Beastie Boys. Right.

And she, at his house, she jokingly graffitied on his wall, Kurt smells like teen spirit. Okay, jokingly? Because it's not a girl's fragrance, it's a teenage. It's sort of the equivalent of Lynx or something like that. So it was the fragrance she was referring to. It was a fragrance, yeah, and he didn't know that it was a fragrance, so he liked the phrase and didn't know that it was...

Oh, he thought she was saying, oh, he smells like a cool teenager. Smells like teen spirit in essence. essence yeah and i like it well interestingly i've got a postscript to that which is i've just had on that message from was it sam did you say yes i've got that you know those men at work the yellow side textured again no A yellow triangle with a black screamer, as they call it in the trade, the exclamation point, saying this function cannot be performed because the message has been changed.

So they're tinkering with the message. I don't know what that means. If Faye could work this out, please. I'd like to return to the boys who have bought Rexham the Rexham boys because as we've established

we like these men don't we I thought they had a very good energy yes well it was a very in a way it began in a very sort of warm hearted about football, what football means. I mean, football not like football

if you're like a multi-million pound club, but football like... And people like you. Yeah, well, we're in the league. Anyway, and it was nice like that. And then early on, I don't think this is a spoiler, they have to do a bit of a clear out, get rid of the manager and I think 11 players.

But they say, and they were released. And I've always thought the idea that people have been released suggests that they really wanted to go. And in fact, there's like a bloodbath at the end of Ep 2 when they all go. So it starts warm-hearted and then it becomes a commercial venture, I think. One of the reasons I loved it was it's more human.

The lad who gets sent off and he's 33 and he feels he's let the team down, but also there's implications for his career as well. But that is the most human bit where he's just dejected in the dressing room that it's you really feel that and particularly compared to some of the uh all or nothing how dare you where's yours but it was yes southampton haven't had one i did feel for him in the dressing room, like any human sadness, but it was a terrible red card certainty of a tackle. Absolute leg breaker of a tackle.

I like that poignant moment. I think in the history of our team, our equivalent was Ashley Cole having to pull over with shock when he was offered, what was it? Only £4 million, wasn't it, a week? No, not £4 million. I think it was £4 million a year, wasn't it? £55 grand a week.

Was he? Is that what it was? And he was so upset he had to pull onto the hard shoulder. He was hyperventilating. Of course, now if someone was offered that, you would justify them just pulling across all three lanes. justify them just pulling across all three lanes. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Now, we've been talking about the Welcome to Wrexham documentary.

One of the things I like about it, it's very rare you get to see, you get to catch up with an old mate via the medium of a documentary. When you say that. The bumbling Englishman that they send over, that Ryan and Rob send over to help. Oh, he's a comic, isn't he? He's a comedian. He's an old Palomine. I haven't seen him in a long time.

Humphrey Carr. He's posh. Okay. And the last one, he won the best newcomer in Edinburgh in 2011. Well, I think I might be able to top that, Steve Hall. Because they have an interview with Bryn Law on there. And Bryn Law, Adrian Childs and I did an American road trip across Arizona and Texas.

We started, we flew to Vegas, saw Bette Midler live, met her backstage, and your mate was backstage um oh which one that the basketball player oh shaquille o'neal yeah he was there and then we drove um and ended up in uh miami on the beach with uh steve foster the olympic swimmer guy what a trip but that was ribbering law yeah awesome and there he was on the show. And these are not great selling points for people that don't know these guys, but it is, yeah, I liked it. But one of the things they have, people have picked up on,

is the fact, is the subtitles. Because they've, obviously, in a an american streaming service and they felt the need to subtitle it now when we say subtitles we're not talking about the option you can't option these aren't subtitles that you choose proper yeah these are the automatically generated you know when someone's speaking mandarin or something you know this is what you would so i'm told i've told you before, but I do love it. I once went to a video shop in Harbour, in Birmingham, and Betty Blue was one of the videos you could hire.

Do you know that French film? Oh, yeah, Beatrice Dahl. Fantastic film. And someone had written in biro on a piece of paper and wedged it into, you know, behind the cellophane thing, the plastic thing. And it said, subtitled, but still a good film. So, yeah, this is, and it's that, it's proper subtitles, not ones you switch on.

But not everyone, not every Welsh person or indeed English person in it, they just choose the ones they feel are the hardest to understand. No, I mean if you speak like Charles Dance you're fine. If you don't speak like Charles Dance you're at risk is what I'm saying. People at risk

were people from North Wales There was a Scouser I think. Was there a Birmingham? I don't know. I don't think there was a Birmingham. There was a Scouser, think was there a Birmingham? I don't know, I don't think there was a Birmingham there was a scouser, there was a Mancunian and there was someone, there was a goalkeeper

this was picked up on wasn't it? the goalkeeper said something like I'm in good nick and that was subtitled as I think I look good which seems a little unfair because without that caveat it completely changes the meaning of the self-deprecating caveat.

Yeah, well, they had some... They had little graphics that explained the word nil. Which is essential, of course, if it's going to be a documentary about Rexham, one would think. But I thought nil was like

an international English speaker thing. But apparently in America, this is what it gets. It's to be fair to the Americans, is if it was a thing about America, you know, it wouldn't be subtitled because we've seen 10 million TV programmes and films set in America.

Well, no one's ever explained what touchdown means. No, but we just know it. Whereas not many people probably in America have watched films set in North Wales. No. Probably. And they were speculating that it was an American subtitler. But I think it might have been someone from the South.

Yeah that is also but I thought I found it helpful and I met you. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio Frank about you. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Frank, 293. Hi, Frank, Emily and Steve.

I just wanted to get in touch and ask Frank if he's aware that he had a mention in Thursday night's episode of Emmerdale. A character was on the mic

at a party in the wall pack who was trying to make a joke to which another character said, you're not Frank Skinner. Isn't that lovely you sit in the joke chair? who was trying to make a joke to which another character said, you're not Frank Skinner. Isn't that lovely? You sit in the joke chair.

I also, I was on news at town this week. Oh dear. Because there was a... There was a shame commission. There's a bin strike in Edinburgh. They're not collecting the rubbish. And there's a massive photo of a massive pile of rubbish next to one of my posters, which says skinner 30 years of dirt so they use that as a sort of

juxtaposition they weren't a complete waste of money those posters did you isn't that nice you're in emmerdale frank that is nice have you done the triumvirate because you did did you do corey i've been in emmerdale before, actually. Were you in Corrie? I was a mystery voice. No, I wasn't in. I haven't done any of them. Will there be a PR person have to clip that up?

It'll just be a little segment. You can keep it as a souvenir. That would be lovely, but I don't think they could be bothered. In the old days, that would have been on my phone within ten minutes. But, you know, you don't get the respect you used to. I think, you see, the subtitles thing, I think every show now should come... I mean, because actors have basically forgotten how to speak,

I think every drama, every film should just have subtitles. I know loads of people who watched off with subtitles, and that was a matter of course, because the diction is so bad. There's a campaign for kids called Turn the Subtitles On that helps kids read. So we always have, for all our kids' stuff, I think Stephen Fry fronts it, where the idea is it just helps with literacy. Whoa! I'm sorry.

Doctor Who, for example. Oh, here we go. Well, Doctor Who, for example. Oh, here we go. This is not the mumbling, but whoever mixes the music in Doctor Who, it's like you're sitting in the middle of an enormous orchestra having a chat. So the music is so loud. When I'm reading my post-match reports on the Doctor Who shows that you get on the internet, loads of people saying,

well, I noticed on subtitles, blah, blah, because everyone just assumes now it's got to be done. I mean, what's going on? Do your job. A mate of mine is an actor. I heard someone say that to a wardrobe woman. Will you do your job? Oh, dear.

There's an old heckle put down, isn't it? Do you come with subtitles? Oh, yes. It's an old in the club. So it's really for some of the people on the Wrexham documentary, they can literally say, yes, I actually do. But I don't think I'd be offended if I got subtitled for my accent, would you? Would you not? I wouldn't.

No, I wouldn't, though, because people might... Well, there was a paper in Wales that reviewed the subtitles in that show as patronising. Mm. Do you really think? I think they mean patronising, for a start. Can I say... I think they should not say anything whatsoever

that might alienate those two Hollywood millionaires. That's my verdict. We need them here. I like them. Who, the millionaires? I want to befriend them. You've got an in with that man, you know. Humphrey.

He might help me. I got the impression that Rob McElhenney was really keen and the other guy, Deadpool was not that bothered but thought it's only a few million That's what I told you, Skinnerian honesty

It really felt like he wasn't that interested but yeah okay I'll do it even though I don't know you I mean, amazing. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. As we move towards our climacticals, do we have any more outside world stuff? We do.

651, good morning, team. Referencing Tony Cascarino's transfer for tracksuits. Oh, yes. John Barnes's move to Watford from Sudbury Court was also paid for in tracksuits. Oh, OK. Do we have any numbers on these tracksuits? What? I don't know. I don't mean squad numbers. Number nine.

I'd like to know how many tracksuits these guys were worth. I'd like details. You don't want it to be a tracksuit. They were Trevor Francis tracksuits from a mush in Shepherd's Bush. I want that kind of detail. I want to know what they look like. What's your favourite? Is that a line from a song?

It's from Only Fools and Horses theme tune. Oh, OK. One of those interesting... You know when they have the different themes at the beginning and end? Oh, yeah. One of those interesting, you know, and they have the different themes at the beginning and end. Oh, yeah. Which both stand

on their own two feet. Yeah. Which did you prefer? I liked Hooky Street. How did I? Yeah. Okay. Grab a clip of that.

Crown Court used to have two different, Crown Court was a daytime court route drama. That wasn't, how did it go?

It used to go used to go da da da da da da da da da da da da and then at the end they go wah wah wah

and Stingray of course had yes yeah and then my parents were walk-ins Dennis Waterman on the up I think

and Fireball XL5 also the thing about Fireball XL5 featured I thing about Crown Fireball XL5 featured I wish I was a spaceman the fastest as its closing I'll tell you what I didn't like about Crown Court

was I wonder how many radio stations are beginning a sentence like that this one. I'll tell you what I didn't like about Crown Court, a daytime TV show from the 70s, yes? There was a 72% chance of one of my parents coming in, smoking a cigarette, Dunhill cigarette, saying,

Graham, lovely job, Graham's got that. There was always one of my parents' friends in a Crown Court because someone would say, he's got a Crown Court this week. When I first started going to the theatre, when I was probably about 20 or something like that, maybe a little older, when you looked at actors listed, it always used to say like Paul Braithwaite,

brackets, the brothers, which was a TV show. No, it would be Casualty, wouldn't it, I think. You got it in one, Holby and Casualty have become the new, for a while, it was a sort of Dixon of Zed Cars. Then it became

Crown Court. I know, absolutely right. Casualty. Congratulations, Frank Skinner. Hi, Frank. ACDC's Bedding. What I love on those,

can I just say, is when you get films, you always get like 12 films that you or no one with you has ever heard where do those films in actors credits

in programmes where are they shown those films I think they're made up I wonder I'm toast to London making them up are they just like

people emailing them to each other yeah I mean if you actually it's a film you've heard of that person is a mess

it's like lying on a seat, but it's like claiming that you got a 2-2 from university that they're never going to check. And there are some things that you're very safe because everyone's in them. For example, Band of Brothers. Everyone's in that. Band of Brothers.

Never seen it. Never know anyone who's actually in it. Doctors. I feel like every actor has been in it. No, but I'm on about films. That's where it really happens. And it's a film. They're in something like The Terror of Nightfall.

And you think, I don't know that. I don't know that. Captain Ellis. No. Just stuff like that. I don't know if it's made up. Maybe there's a little tiny obscure cinema somewhere that shows them all. So, yes, so that's it from us.

And thanks for listening listening and if the good oh thanks Steve actually enjoy the rest of your birthday thank you what have you got planned mate we're going for a meal with the kids and the wife

and then I'm going to buy some Jungle Cave yeah having listened to it last week I'm going to try I'm going to check out the Jungle Cave here we go

you'll get the birthday song definitely if you do record it and send it in or bring it in. So, look, if the good Lord Spares us and the creeks don't rise, we'll be back again this time next week.

Now, get out. This is Frank Skinner. This is Absolute Radio.