The Frank Skinner Show - Scarlet Ribbons

Episode Date: June 11, 2022

Frank Skinner's on Absolute Radio every Saturday morning and you can enjoy the show's podcast right here. The Radio Academy Award winning gang bring you a show which is like joining your mates for a coffee... So, put the kettle on, sit down and enjoy UK commercial radio's most popular podcast. This week Frank and Emily are joined by Angela Barnes. Frank has a new favourite programme and Angela has stayed at the worst hotel of her life. The team also discuss the Knebworth grass auction, the Jubilee concert and meerkat mounds.

This is Frank Skinner and Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Angela Barnes is with us this morning. You can text the show on 81215, follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at Frank on the Radio. Email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk Dot UK, Doctor! Frank at Absolute Radio! Anyway, we should get one of the Daleks into that. Nick Briggs, the voice of the Daleks. Angela, good morning.

Good morning. Angela, just FYI, Frank often references weird people like Nick Briggs. See, I knew what a Dalek was and then I was lost after that. I'll tell you what I did there. You know when actors, instead of saying Ronald Pickup, they said, yes, I was working with lovely Ronnie Pickup. He's always listed as Nicholas Briggs, but I called him Nick Briggs. You see, if that had been my parents, it would have been lovely, lovely Nicky Briggs.

Yeah, exactly. Lovely little actor. Recently, I interviewed PJ Harvey, and I said, should I call you PJ? She said, call me Polly. And I said, that's it. I'm happy to end this now. So every reference to her since. I said, yeah, I. No, for me, I'm happy to end this now. So every reference to a scene. So I said, yeah, I call Polly, actually.

Even when the TV announcer said, and PJ Harvey will be. Anyway, enough of that. So Angela Barnes are, of course, those rural outhouses that instead of having the curved roofs have sort of geometrically oh no that's angular barns oh beautiful

oh I mean I've met the silly stare the lovely thing is my husband's surname is wooden and so if we were double married we'd be Wooden Barnes. Well, get married? What are you waiting for? We are married, but I didn't take his name.

I met at the Brits once a couple. I can't remember the exact, but she was called something like Debbie Frank, and he was called like Dave Skinner, and they said the reason they weren't going to do it is because of the obvious. I'd have thought they'd be proud of that. I would have done that. You could have bought...

If you'd have married a Wallace as well. Oh, yeah, Barnes-Wallace. Barnes and Noble. I should have married Ross Noble. Yeah, Barnes-Wallace. Yeah, you should have done... I think his wife would have said that. It's not normally why we choose our partners, is it, for a comedy hyphenation.

Do you know your commitment to the joke is... You're one of the few people I can actually imagine doing that. Have you not been lucky enough to meet Kath? I think that's fair enough. He actually took... I was interviewing Frank once for my podcast and he produced a pipe from his... This is an audio podcast, remember?

And he was laughing to himself, hysterically, at his own joke. Yeah. I waited until Emily turned. We were taking dogs for a walk, which is what Emily does on her podcast, obviously. And she looked over at something. As soon as she looked away, I was in the pockets for the pipe. So when she looked back, there I was with a nice meerschaum.

But it was just for her. I should say Barnes Wallace was the man who invented the bouncing bomb, which in the days when bombs were a bit more jolly, you know, bouncing around the place. And that's what the Dambusters was based on. It was even a nickname, wasn't it? Bouncing Bomb? No, but is it Bomber Harris?

No, Bomber Harris was a different thing. I work with a guy who said that his dad used to say that the parents of Bomber Harris showed enormous foresight. It's that nominative determinism there. I think he did a lot of heavy duty World War II bombing. We shouldn't go into details on

Harris. We don't really talk about Harris anymore at the club. I wonder what happened to him. Yes. Here's the thing. Here is a thing. Oh, I was just going to speak then,

and the producer has done that zip your mouth thing. So I'm going to zip my mouth. But that moment's probably gone now. If you do it with a man of my age, it could have been the funniest thing ever said, and I'll forget it. Did you write it down for him? I didn't write it down.

It's already gone. I've already forgotten why I stopped. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. We haven't really introduced Angela. Angela, tell us something about yourself, Angela. Something about myself? I'm a red-haired, glasses-wearing,

stand-up comedian yeah of course right people I think that's good though I mean there's a good there's a strong tradition on breakfast radio

of red-haired people in glasses doing quite well so that could be good yes and you you'll have I'll tell you

as part from seeing Angela on telly absolute followers may well have seen Angela at our

Christmas charity what is it what's it called the thing at the Palladium the absolute thing it's the stand up

it's the stand up to cancer I don't think it's I think they changed the it's at Macmillan I don't know what it is now I'm going to be straight with you I know it's... I think they changed the... Is it Macmillan? Sheriff's. I don't know what it is now. I'm going to be straight with you.

Oh, OK. I know it's for a good cause. Yes. I don't know what it's called. It hasn't got one of those ponny names that things should have. No. If it was like... If it was like buying drugs for people who are ill,

it could be called the London Pill Aid. Oh, nice. I mean, yeah. Write that down for me. I want to write that down. What's it that I'll use it next year? Well, Bob Finn's working on that as we speak. And you live in Brighton?

I do. I do live in Brighton. Thanks for coming all this way. It's a pleasure. I stayed in a terrible hotel last night. Oh, did you? Maybe you'd like to recommend it. What did you do?

Do you un-recommend it? No. I love stories about bad hotels. Tell me more. Tell me more. It was, well, I was doing a show in Coventry last night. Stop showing off. I know.

Look at me, eh? And I got the train back last night and stayed in a hotel in King's Cross and I knew it wasn't going to be good when I arrived at the hotel and there were three bouncers on the door. Wow. And about one o'clock this morning... It was Friday. It was Friday, fair enough.

One o'clock this morning there was a fight outside my room door. Outside your door, not outside your window? In the corridor. Oh. Oh, yeah, in the hotel. What was the fight over? I couldn't quite hear because I didn't have my hearing aid. But I sort of panicked for a bit and then I saw it was being dealt with,

but I didn't really sleep very well after that. So, can I ask you about your hearing aid? Please do. You can't really sleep in a hearing aid, can you? No, no. So, if someone was shouting fire in the hotel would you hear it probably not i'd hear the alarm possibly but i once had um i used to live in a in a flat and downstairs we had a garden out the back and the police at about four in the morning

apprehended a burglar in the garden and had to bring them through our flat to get out. And I slept through the whole thing. My flatmate the next day said, I thought you were out when I came down to breakfast. I was like, were you in last night? She said, how did you miss that? She said, there was like 15 police in the house and they apprehended someone in the garden.

I had them at four o'clock this morning. I was making tea for everyone. And I just slept through the whole thing. She just thought I was out. It's great. I'd hate to miss a bit of drama like that. No, yeah. Everyone's talking about it, you feel a bit.

I can... Yeah. Can I just... But she was showing off a bit that she was there. Yeah, probably. Yeah, like that. Can I just assert... I hate her, your mate.

Showing off, mate. I've been handed... I'm holding in my hand a piece of paper. Have you spoken to the German Chancellor, Herr Hitler? I did, actually. OK. Mind your own business. Absolute live at the Palladium for Teenage Cancer Trust.

Ah. Absolute live at the Palladium, yeah. Absolute comma. It's not ponchy. It's not ponchy, is it? But it's a very good cause, obviously. I found that as well. Anyway, Angela was on the bill and was very funny.

Angela, just FYI, Frank likes to give people reviews. Right. Edit notes. No, but if they're good reviews, it's all right. They aren't always. I expected, from what I've heard, I thought he was going to come up and give me some advice afterwards. Oh, no.

No, I wouldn't have done that. No, it was everyone. Everyone that night went well. It was one of those nights. It was a great night. It was a night of a thousand stars. Oh, speaking of a thousand stars, that's what I want to talk about in a minute.

Friends Skinner on Absolute Radio. This fight outside your hotel room. Yeah. Was it one of those hotel room doors that's got the little peephole? Oh yeah. See that would have been my, I wouldn't have been able to get out of bed quick enough. I was straight there. Well because I didn't have

my hearing aids in so it took me a while to realise something was going on and something bashed into my door and I think I realised the door was back. Oh actually that's when I'd start to go over and put the chain on there wasn't a chain i usually have a chain in hotel rooms anyway sorry i do apologize um because it's the idea of being able to look through that little thing and

there's a really like scary thing going on and you've got a massive block of wood protecting you find that brilliant that's like have you ever been in a meerkat mound oh is that with the plastic bubble

it looks like you know that board game you used to get frustration with the dice in the bubble it looks like one of those it's why I think

the Qatari World Cup bid said they were going to do with the football grounds. They said they were going to put a dome over that would be air conditioned. That fell through. But anyway, you can go. Yeah, it's for children. It's for the children.

You go underneath the meerkat enclosure and then you come up in a see-through mound and you can sit and the meerkats are right there next to you. And that's what it'd be like if it were watching a fight through a hotel door. I mean, you say you can do that. I'm all right, thanks. You'd be all right because you need... Can't be... Where can I put this? Can't be too tall.

Do you think the meerkats think that they're at the zoo? Do you think they're sort of going, oh, look, we can observe this human behaviour? I've never taken to them. I think the meerkats think, am I standing on the fuselage of a spitfire? There's someone in the cockpit just staring at me. I just think meerkats have got very good PR.

People talk about them all the time at the zoo and there's a lot of neglected, far more interesting creatures there. Yeah, well, they got the advert. Is it because of the adverts they're popular? Yeah, once they got the advert. They got that deal, they've never looked back. If that had been talking tapir, who were wearing evening jackets and stuff, that would be the big thing. People are going about how talking tapir, who were wearing even jackets and stuff,

that would be the big thing. People are going about how cute tapir are. But if you say to a make-up, what's your brand? Nosey. Yeah. That's sort of their brand, isn't it? Can I share this with you from Mark Adamson? I fear they might say simple.

That's what worries me. Oh. Yeah. Oh, dear. Who said that? Someone said that. It was awful. What about when someone said that in the House of Commons? Oh, did they? I think...

Was it David Cameron? One of our readers will tell us. He said simples. Someone said simples. Maybe he was talking to the backbenchers. If one of our readers could remind us. Mark Adamson has this question for Angela. Has Angela ever fallen asleep while wearing her hearing aids

and woken up thinking a miracle has happened overnight? Oh, that would be so cruel, wouldn't it? And then you realise. He says, that's why I don't wear contact lenses. I'm not sure I could handle the disappointment when I'm ill. No, but what happens if you accidentally sleep in contact lenses? You wake up and feel that someone, that a sprite has gone into your bedroom and put rock salt into your eyes.

That's what it feels like. I once accidentally drank a contact lens. Because this is when I was a student. And I've gone to visit a friend at another hall. So I was sort of sleeping on the floor in her little hall's room. And we'd had quite a lot to drink the night before, and we had sort of glasses of water on the side. And apparently she'd gone to bed, realised she had her contacts in,

took them out and just put them in a glass of water, and I drank them. Were they disposable? No, they were ones you wore for a month. Oh, so she was planning to put them on. So she was looking for them, and I think... That reminds me of an old joke where a man sneezes and his glass eye flies across the pub

into a bloke's pint he drinks it and he goes home that night the guy who's drunk the pint with a glass eye and has terrible stomach pain so he goes to the doctor I'm going to rush this

he goes to the doctor and the doctor he's got these terrible stomach pains he says okay bend over so he bends over and he shines his torch into his bottom and he says to the guy, well, don't you trust me?

I'll let you work that out. I'll let you work that out during this break. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. I was putting the bins out yesterday and, you know, I ended up talking to a group of people and singing Harry Belafonte's let's call it his other Christmas hit Scarlet Ribbons

in the street I don't think I know that one no one knows it's a very famous it's about he goes in to see there I saw my childhood prayer. Bring for me...

She's asking, you know, for a Christmas present. It's Christmas Eve. Bring for me some scarlet ribbons. Scarlet ribbons for my hair. I want a bit more than that this Christmas. So, yeah. And it's too late. He goes out into the road to try and get them everything shot,

you know, what it used to be like Christmas Eve. All the doors were barred and shuttered, all the streets were dark and bare. And so he can't get them. So he gets them. And he feels he's let his daughter down, he feels really upset. And then when he gets up the next morning,

on her bed in gay profusion, was what he says. It's absolutely crammed with scarlet ribbons. What happened? We don't know. Fact is, we don't know what happened, but them's the basics. So were scarlet ribbons sort of that year's cabbage patch kids? Was it you couldn't get them anywhere? No, you couldn't. I like scarlet ribbons. sounds like RuPaul's Drag Race.

Yes, somewhat. And now Scarlet Ribbon. Hi. Now, at the same time, we were talking earlier. Emily condemned my parking choice this morning. What did I say? I said, I think I said, I started it with, can I be honest, which is never good. No, I always have my stomach clenched.

Can I be honest from Everleigh's a real. Please don't. But yes, I think the feeling was I parked under a tree for shade and I forgot lime, the lime element, the bird lime. Rookie error. There's one in, there's a car in our road white bmw nice car absolutely caked caked in bird you know i love a mystery car you know a car that hasn't been moved for ages oh man i love that yeah sometimes you get the ones with about eight parking tickets on and stuff like that that That was me in the 90s.

Yeah, in the old days, it was the tax disc was way out. But this car obviously hasn't moved for months. What's going on with that car? What's happening to the battery? No one's turning it over. Do you still have to do that? I think you do. Or has that gone with the choke?

No, I think if you... I miss the choke. The choke. Remember the choke? Yes, I do. Oh, Frank. Frank. Okay. I... That was his nickname.

It was... No, because during lockdown, I didn't drive for about a month and the battery didn't like it when I got in the car. The battery was going, help me, help. So, yeah, that's that. Oh, Frank, someone's just asked,

you're singing while you're putting the bins out, is this revenge on the bin-complaining neighbour? No, she hasn't moved in yet. I don't know what her reticence is based on. But obviously, when I have to put my bins out, I've got so many bins, I could do Carmen all the way through um but no it was that why do you it's

halfway through my because i sang more to to these it was two women i was talking to and their children uh i sang more of the song to them because they didn't know the song either and i really had the impression that they didn't, they wanted it to stop, they wanted it to go away. Of course they did. But I hadn't finished the, it's a narrative tale. I couldn't just leave it there to get to the gay profusion. I think being...

Which is a pop round the corner. I think being sung to is awkward though, isn't it? It is awkward. I had a terrible, well, anyway. We can't want to. I think being sung to is awkward, though, isn't it? It is awkward. I had a terrible... Well, anyway, we can't just talk. I mean, we have to play music. That's in the contract. Frank Skimmer.

Absolute Radio. Now, a lot of people... I think the cool thing to say at the moment about Netflix is that it's on the way down. It had a great run, but it's struggling. And I'm always happy to hear of a multi-million dollar organisation crumbling, but I've got news.

It's back. Now, I saw a programme this week. You may well be familiar with it. But you know when you see something on the telly that just makes you happy without any complications? And let me know, do you know a thing see something on the telly that just makes you happy and without any complications. And let me know, do you know a thing called is it cake? I knew you were going to say that. It's the best thing in the world.

Oh, man. I'm a late adopter of is it cake. But really, my kids had chicken pox this week very badly. And it's been difficult. We thought at one point it was the monkey. Oh, no. But it isn't. It's the chicken. We thought at one point it was the monkey. Oh, no. But it isn't. It's the chicken.

It's the chicken, yeah. And what has got us through is Is It Cake? In case you don't know what Is It Cake is, is that people make very, very realistic representations of everyday objects. And say five of them are laid out and four of them are the real objects and one of them is a cake made to look like one.

I mean, it's... So, for example, it's a burger and chips. Or a bowling ball. The one I watched, they had five sextants. I beg your pardon. You know, the navigational equipment. So five sextants and someone beg your pardon. I don't know where that was going. Navigational equipment. So five sextants and someone had made a cake one. Oh, wow.

And that was, can I be honest? I was lying about the sextants. I really believed you and I watched it. It was the episode I was dreaming of, but it never quite, no, you're quite right. He uses stuff like handbags and burgers. Yes. Oh, man. It was the episode I was dreaming of, but it never quite... No, you're quite right. He uses stuff like handbags and burgers. Yes. But, oh, man, it was just great.

And there's a very eccentric contestant, which you have to have on a show, who's got green hair and a green beard and glasses with skulls on them. And I think the last episode will reveal him to be a cake. That's how I think it's going to go. The moment of truth when they cut into the cake. I can't bear it.

It's great. Honestly, check it out, guys. It's just happy TV. And, you know, you realise that Great British Bake Off, rubbish, they did nothing with the cake. They just make a cake. There's no guessing no

I'll tell you what else was happy TV the Queen with Paddington did you see oh yes come on beautiful

but was it the Queen or was it a cake no no it moved it moved definitely moved what if they did that in Qatar

with the World Cup grounds one of them is a cake when they get there It moved, it moved, it definitely moved. What if they did that in Qatar with the World Cup grounds? One of them is a cake. When they get there... Harry Kane is a cake. Harry Kane, we got there and it turned out to be a cake. No, I'll tell you something about the whole Jubilee spectacular. Brian May's shirt.

I loved that. You know what? Was it a shirt or was it a jacket? No, he had a silver... When he did the performance... Yeah. When he changed his outfit, I made an inventory of all their clothes.

Okay. Queen. And because they changed, they did a quick change between the backstage interview and the performance. Yeah. They had Velcro.

Frank, you're absolutely right. He wore a jaquito. And I'm going jaquito. A jaquito. I love that. He had a jaquito for the performance backstage. He had a silver sort of slightly Buzz Aldrin themed shirt. Adam, what's he called?

Lambert. Adam Lambert was dressed for the flying carpet, I thought. I thought any minute the flying carpet will arrive and it'll be a whole new world. And then hovering above the palace. But it never turned up, the carpet. Apparently it's stuck in traffic at King's Cross. This is Frank Skinner.

This is Absolute Radio. This is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Angela Barnes is with us this morning. You can text the show on 81215. Follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at frankontheradio. Email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. Frank! I'm sorry.

Sorry, Angela. Very unprofessional. Frank just told me something off-air, which I'm still finding it difficult to recover from. And it was during an encounter

with Ricky Wilson of the Kaiser Chiefs. Are you going to share this? No, I'll share it. I met Ricky Wilson and you know you always do that I'm a big fan of yours things that people have never

heard of. But I had heard this and I said I really love that one. Julie, Julie, Julie, Julie! Oh God! And he said thanks, but it's Ruby. Oh, no. And I also did that thing of going, yeah, yeah, of course, Ruby, Ruby, yeah, all right. But as we established before, singing to people is bad enough as it is,

especially if you're singing the wrong words to them. Well, Clive Silas has got in touch, guys, one of our regulars, to say the goodies sing Scarlet Gibbons, Scarlet Gibbons for my hair in Funky Gibbon. Yes. Are you familiar with that? I am, yes. Yes, it's a... When they've sort of donned, they've donned the Funky Gibbon song,

they do a back reference to Ari Bel Fonte's Scarlet Ribbons, but they sing it Scarlet Gibbons. OK. I got it at the time. Many didn't, I suspect. I'm still thinking about those neighbours of yours standing there while you were... It really makes me...

Because you know on Come Dine With Me sometimes they'll have that as the entertainment. They'll have someone just come and sing to them, but like really close. What do you do with your face while that's happening? That's the issue. I used to have, I dated a guy who was a poet. I say a poet, he worked for Lambeth Council, but he

called himself a poet. They often do. He used to just read poetry to me, but it was only me and him in the room. I only kissed him to stop him talking oh well i i once went backstage um i'd seen um i'm sure i've told this story on here before but it's so pertinent to this i have to tell you again um i went to see a bob dylan gig in which he was supported by elvis costello. And Elvis Costello obviously doesn't normally support anyone.

It's just him and an acoustic guitar trying out new stuff. Wow. So it was like a work-in-progress gig for Elvis Costello on the bill of Bob Dylan. And I knew Elvis Costello a bit, so I went backstage. And we were standing in the door of his dressing room. We didn't actually get in. But he was leaning on one side of the door frame

and I was the other so that you can give the sense of how far away we were and I said I love that because they were all new stuff I said I love that second one that was like about and he said oh you mean

and I did go down. And then I said... And we were very close. And I ran out of facial expressions. I mean, it's like, you know, when you go lap dancing club, you've got three facial expressions and then you just go blank. Blanking his relatable material. So he was looking at me, and obviously I was a massive fan.

Everything, on paper, it should have been one of the great moments of my life. I remember becoming really aware that I thought he might be getting oil from the hinge on his jacket. You try and focus on something else to take the anxiety away. I considered at one point

the mock faint. Do you think it's a British thing? Do you think other nationalities deal with it better? Is it sort of, because we're just so awkward that we can't, because it's quite emotional.

But honestly, he finished the first verse and I said, yeah, that was the one. And then he went, Ella. And he honestly sang to me for like three and a half minutes

no and I love Elvis Costello but even retelling that story now I will I will have to take

the next break just to just to calm calm myself I've got so tense just in the remembering of it I was worried

that my breath might steam his spectacles. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. If you've ever had an excruciating being sung to or read to moment, I'd love to know about it on 8.12.15, by the way. Pretty professional. Anyway, Angela Barnes is with us this morning.

Oh, lovely. I was named after that song. Were you? Then you should be Angela Barnes. I am an angel. My dad was at school with Mick Jagger, Dartford Grammar School for Boys. Oh, shut up.

You're having a laugh. There you go. See, you're so cool, your parents. Well, I say that. I think Mick Jagger was a couple of years older than my dad, but his dad was captain of the basketball team. Mick Jagger's dad? Mick Jagger's dad was, yeah.

Oh, OK. There you go. Mick Jagger's dad was at the same school as Mick Jagger. No, no, it was not captain. Coach. Coach. Oh, coach, OK. Sorry, my bad.

Coach. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. He's quite sporty, I think, Mick Jagger. Rubber-hipped. He was the only person on the team who could jump through the basketball hoop. What about when I met Chris Jagger

and he was talking about all the famous people in the area and he said, you know, Michelle Collins lives near here and the Great Soprendo and my sister said, your brother's Mick Jagger. Yeah. Oh, marvellous so what's what's happening Ainge

what's happening I've had a bit of a I've entered a new phase in my life this week it's quite exciting because I'm I'm 45 and

oh sorry I know but I you know when you're in your 20s and you get invited to loads of weddings all of a sudden like they all do

I'm now I've had a glut of invites to second weddings. Oh, of course, yeah. Yeah, and I've only just had my first one. I was a bit late getting going. So, yeah, I've got about four second weddings to go to. Emily's got to think about what he's worn at second weddings. Well, you know, how I picture a second wedding is a bride in white trouser suit watched by angry stepchildren.

Well, it's funny because I wore a white wedding dress to my wedding. I got married in September and I wanted to wear a proper wedding dress because I was 44 and I wanted people to know I wasn't a guest. So you'd be glad of a veil, were you thinking? Yeah.

Thanks, Frank. It's early in the morning, all right. I meant... Anyway. No, you've just said you'd be glad of a veil. Well, I didn't mean you. I mean Juan, who got married later. I'd certainly be glad of a veil.

When I went for my dress fitting because you have to go to the boutique place you know to which I'm not good at clothes shopping when people you have to talk to people

and she kept I think she thought it was my second wedding because she kept using words like elegant and timeless. You know I'd say like

I'm in my 40s I'm not from the 1940s. It was really yeah. So did you wear a proper big white wedding dress. It was really, yeah. So did you wear a proper big white wedding dress? It was like a 50s style, but it was a white, yeah, a white dress. Did you have a train? I didn't have a train.

Oh, Sol's train. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah. Okay. But she was, and the other thing she said to me was, this woman in the boutique, she said, you'll be wanting to cover the tops of your arms.

And then she said, women in their 40s don't like the tops of their arms. And I said, what? And I said, I quite like the tops of my arms because they're good at keeping on the bottoms of my arms. Yeah, well, they're very hard without. Yeah. I was on Have I Got News For You once. We were talking about the fact that Michelle Obama

had been questioned for having a sleeveless thing when she met the Queen or something. Oh, yes. And a Tory MP... I believe the headline was the right to bear arms. Yeah, well, the Tory MP quoted that. Oh, did he? And I really, really laughed, you know,

thinking it was his original joke. And you know when you really, really laugh at someone who stole a joke there's a moment when you see a shadow fall across their face where their joy is slightly um slightly unhinged by guilt yeah do they reference it or not do yeah exactly do they say well actually we didn't you know and i you know i was hosting so i felt i had to be nice to him. Also, this wedding dress shop, I like that it's called Boutique as well, because that in itself is very 1940s, isn't it?

It's a place where you walk in and they offer you a glass of Prosecco. I'm kind of thinking the one that Emily went to. What did the woman say? I, Frank's sister-in-law was getting married and at that time I still had a few loose connections in the retail industry

and I just suggested I was coming up with suggestions and there was a shop I recommended to her and I wronged them but they had a slight assembly line approach it transpired with regards to brides because when I called and I said, oh, I'd love to come in if you could open up for us

because my lovely friend Rachel is getting married and she said, congratulations. Anyway, we can get you in on... I love it when a word of joyous kindness is reduced to just sound. Love it. Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. May I share this with you whilst we're talking about being,

we were talking about being sung to. 118. Hi Frank, Emily and Angela. That was a nice bit of praise there but I left that out. Okay. You look upset, don't worry, it's for me. Yes, I am upset. Emily and Angela. It was a nice bit of praise there, but I left that out. OK. You look upset.

Don't worry, it's for me. Yes, I have a terrible... No, I am upset. I are. I had a terrible experience of being sung to. Gather round the fireside. I was sat on a garden swing seat with my boyfriend. And he just started singing Adele's Someone Like You. Oh, God. It gets worse. OK. In a very high's Someone Like You. Oh, God.

It gets worse. OK. In a very high-pitched tone. And then she's put this in caps. With his eyes closed. Oh. I didn't know what to do. I know what I just saw. It sneaked off.

It's exactly the same thing. He's got his eyes shut. That's your chance, love. Oh, man. It just kept going on and on. Needless to say, he's no longer my boyfriend. Oh, man. Oh, no, no, no.

Monkey emoji with eyes over face. Yeah. That's Sarah in Weymouth. What did he think was going to happen when he did that? Also, isn't it a lament towards someone you've broken up with? The whole album is about being, breaking up, being dumped, whatever it is. Well, maybe that's what he was doing. Maybe he shut his eyes to give her the chance to go.

Oh. She wasn't getting in. He didn't just give her the chance. He gave her the reason as well. All in one act. Do you really? Do you want this to be your life? Oh, man.

Well, that's... If only he'd done Skyfall. Little Skyfall! Anyway. No, I'd find that an aphrodisiac, if someone did that. Because it would just be a weird, random move, and I'd respect them for that.

Do you remember in, I think, Man With Two Brains, a Steve Martin film, the girl that he really likes, he sings to her and in the middle of it she takes out a trumpet and does a trumpet solo. It's just a perfect response. And then after he says to her, you know, when I watch you blowing that trumpet, I just wanted to go into the end of the trumpet and whirl through all of those little valves and go down and just go down onto your lips.

And she said, why didn't you? And he said, well, I didn't want to get spit on. Anyway, that's an extract from Man with Two Brains, which I'll tell you about. It's a film I thought was the funniest film ever made. And then I showed it to my girlfriend, Kath, some probably ten years after I'd first watched it myself, and she didn't like it. And in her not liking it, I stopped liking it as well. I started not liking it by osmosis as I sat next to her. And now I don't think I could face it at well. I started not liking it by osmosis as I sat next to her.

And now I don't think I could face it at all. Have you thought of showing Kath any 70s Doctor Who? At all? No. Maybe you should. I've decided very strongly against that. that.

Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. I used to know a newsreader. I'm making it sound sinister. I used to know somebody I used to know, Goita, as I call them. Yeah.

But he would tell me, I better not name him just in case I shouldn't be showing this, but he said with Sir Trevor they used to take bets on how he would round off the show and they'd say it sounds like it's a good night from me and all of us at ITN they'd sometimes say

and sometimes they'd say no I think it's going to be from the entire team it's one of those nights Who knew that? All of us at ITN or there were variations. The entire team often meant a big event had happened. I tell you what I very much enjoy, I very much enjoy the fact that BBC One HD cannot bring us local news at the current moment so when everyone else in and is watching blurry local news on their non hd we get stuff like bird song and um and sounds of the sea over some dull red caption

yeah because the local news departments can't afford the makeup that can deal with hd is that i don't know if that's what it is. The suggestion is, it says something like, we cannot at this moment bring you local news, and I think maybe they're working on it. But there are other people thinking, God, is it the local news?

It's like watching it through a Vaseline filter. Meanwhile, the other thing that gets me about the news while we're on it is when the rolling news stops rolling. So you put Sky News on and there's a one-hour documentary about endangered bears. Yeah, that's not where that should be, is it?

Rolling news, that should be the news all the time. A ticker tape along the bottom is not good enough for me. Keep rolling, that's my advice. Anyway, that's the news sorted. What about outside world news? I like keep rolling, that's my advice. Keep rolling. I should have said that to Chris Jagger.

They should do, at the end of rolling news, I know it never ends, but say just before the hour. They should do a keep rolling, like they do on Strictly. No one-off documentaries. This is why Frank isn't a news presenter. I miss the days where you just had your news once a day, maybe twice, six, maybe at ten as well. The sort of rolling thing.

You watch your BBC News, see what's going on. I always thought the news would be better if they had a studio audience. Just sharpen them up a bit. Because it's so easy, isn't it? Nobody there. You can be as lax as you like. I think it's so easy.

You need a crowd to really get people on their toes there'll be a lot more and finalists you know what i mean but keep from laughing i think that's one of the worst ideas you've ever had an audience for the news i also think the news should start with the comic light-hearted or you know those kind of stories ease you in well it's a suggestion that bad news is like the big news but actually good news is the really remarkable the fact there's been any. You seem to be trying to turn this

into a gig. No. I don't want to do the news. I don't know if I fully respect people who read the news. Oh my god. Frank. I just, it's reading. It's just reading. I mean I like that reading. It's just reading, isn't it? I mean, I like that people read.

I respect that, you know, because it's the pronunciations that would worry me. Oh, does the department know, isn't it? Oh no, you could like ring a number, can't you? But still, I think, if they're willing to take that on. That's a lot of trust involved in that pronunciation person. What about if it's like April Fool's

Day and you've got to phone up with your pronunciation for the anxiety making? Frank Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. Absolute Radio. May I share this with you? It's from Robert.

He's, I don't know, he's got another moniker. I'm not quite sure how to pronounce it. He says, big weekend. Oh, I just spat a crisp out. Oh, that's the worst thing I've ever seen. I thought it best to be honest. But you know, it makes you seem more real, Emily, because you're so beautiful and elegant,

and I'm so in awe of you that now you've done that, I feel much more relaxed. Do you mean you respect her a little less than you do? In a way. I've always had this theory about when you see people choke. It's Frank's worst thing. If someone chokes, he says, I don't respect them as much. No, I respect them a little bit, but not as much as I did.

I've seen the mask slip, but I'm all right with the crisp. Are you? Yes. Big weekend for at Frank on the Radio and At Badil. Right. Prince of Wales quoting Three Lions. Yes. And wait for it, you might be able to explain this,

Ben Stokes reviving Phoenix from the Flames. Well, I think the Ben Stokes reference is that Phoenix from the Flames was a thing that me and Dave used to do when we recreated footballing moments and there was a wicket taken in yesterday's test match day one of the test match and I think this is what they mean Ben Stokes then described the whole thing to his teammates as if they weren't there including like the bowling the bat, the batting, the catch, everything. He mimed it all through.

He put his little paws up. His little paws? Look, maybe have a week off from the Dog to Walk in the Dark podcast. I think it's knocking you about. Yeah, but they look like little paws because he's got those funny gloves on. Who has? Ben Stokes, I think. Or someone in this...

There's a video here and someone is wearing funny gloves. No, that will be Ben Folks. No, I'm serious. Ben Folks is the wicketkeeper. It's not. It is, yeah. I thought you meant it was like a mime artist

or something was explaining the... Why haven't they got a comedy double act? We might not even be talking. More importantly, there's a tremendous mystery, I think, around the Prince Charles thing. Oh, Prince Charles. Yeah, so tell us about the... Well, he was speaking at the Jubilee gig, which was, I must say, a tremendous evening, fun for all the family. I missed all of it. I was in Ireland.

Well, let me tell you about it. See, if I was you, I would use that before I came on stage and I'd do this. Barnes. Yes. Barnes. Jess Barnes. That sounds like I'm doing like a, hosting a love songs show on late night radio.

It's got a sort of Serge Gainsbourg feel to it. Honestly, you can have that. Thank you. What am I going to use it for? It'd be weird if I used it, wouldn't it? People are thinking, what's he gone into? What's he obsessed with her in some strange way?

Okay. You know, that's how rumours start. Sorry, I'm trying to get out of this link. I can't actually find that springboard. I don't know what you're going to do. You need Stokes and Fowkes. That's exactly right. Yes, that was a good

Russell T Davies right there this is Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and Angela Barnes you can text the show on 812 15

follow the show on Twitter and Instagram at Frank on the Radio email the show via frank at absolute radio dot co dot UK Ruth Jordan the show on Twitter and Instagram at frankontheradio. Email the show via frank at absoluteradio.co.uk. Ruth Jordan has got in touch, one of our regulars.

Hello, Ruth. Ben Stokes and Ben Foulkes were joined in the England team by bowler Chris Wokes at one point. Oh, he just went round counselling everyone, Chris Wokes. You're presumably aware of this, Frank. Yes, well, Chris Wokes is a Warwickshire player, which is actually my county.

My county? Jacob Rees-Mogg? Ben Stokes and Ben Fowkes is so similar. It's kind of remarkable. Can I just say, I was given a dark chocolate popcorn bite by molly who's our assistant producer today and it it looks exactly as if if popcorn played subutio it's actually got the bait the subut You could play it. You could play Subutio with it. What I would like is a team of, a normal football team of Subutios

against the popcorn and see what the difference makes. I'm going to put a picture of it on the socials. I'm going to compare it to... Summer's Day? No, Doll's House baked Alaska. Oh. I'm going to compare it to... Summer's Day? No. Doll's House Baked Alaska. Oh. I'm very interested in... You know in Doll's House, I love those sort of miniaturised things,

like when they do the little chicken and things. Oh, yeah. That looks like a doll, a baked Alaska, because it's fluffy, but it's on a plinth. Oh, I see. And, of course, you can use half a walnut for a roast chicken. You can. With some clear nail polish on it. Or a brain.

Yeah. Now you're making me think of is it cake? Don't get me back onto that. Right. There's been an auction that's happening as we speak. Oh yes.

And I once had my hair cut in this very studio and we put my hair on, do you remember this, we put it on eBay, Emily? I do. And we got a grand for it. Yeah, it wasn't a charity thing. Just for me. No, no, it wasn't.

We did do it for charity. Yeah, it wasn't a charity thing. Just for me. No, no, it wasn't. We did do it for charity. And this, I thought, well, who on earth would pay for my hair? And then... You're not the only one. Yeah, well, then I saw that a man was selling some grass

from Nebworth, where Liam Gallagher what midlands based david watson well i noticed on his leg he didn't mention this he's got a thrush i mean i saw the bird but i didn't know what it was yeah i think he might be a west brom fan because their symbol be a West Brom fan. Oh. Because their symbol, pre-Boilerman certainly, was what they call locally a throstle.

Oh. A throsh on a bush, what it actually is. Okay. Sorry, there's things I want to say that aren't suitable. No.

Fighting. Yes, I'm fighting it. Now I look back on that last sentence structure, it was an error. You did very well for a stand-up comedian not to jump in.

I felt stiff with stress. That's why it's not helping. I had to stop myself when Frank said on his leg. I found myself doing this a lot because it's too niche. I nearly jumped in and said, is Leonard? Leonard Fenton, Dr. Leg.

Those people aren't going to get that. It's too niche. That is very, yeah. So it's just, sorry, on this story, it's just the grass from the ground. Because I just saw the headline said, Nebworth Grass, which I thought sounded like a prison nickname. But also, it did, it did, it's from the Liam Gallagher gig, is what he's saying there.

So not the Oasis gig, the famous Nebworth. Which I was at. Surely that grass was also at that gig. I don't know how quickly... Well, there was a lot of it there, yes, I was there. You'd get to tell if it was grass from an Oasis gig because it would live forever. Oh, well, I'll tell you.

What strikes me is that what is it currently at? Like people are gonna I checked last night Go on Just to see if it had gone up 65 comma old school

900 What? Did you work that out or did you have to get a turf accountant? Oh Exceptional work Exceptional

We've got to end on that. Fabulous. Friends Skinner on Absolute Radio. So this Nebworth grass, now Angela's said it, it really does sound like they've... I don't know if there is an HM Nebworth, but there ought to be.

What is Nebworth? Is it a stately home or something? I've never been there so I'm not sure I've been there once to the Oasis gig Yeah And I didn't get any grass No Sorry I'll rephrase that

I was going to say it's probably not true I got a Pop star Chatted me up, I remember. Nice. No. He had a... I won't mention who he is, actually, but...

I think we all have guessed it was David Van Damme. Wow, that's one I've thought about. No, this one, he had not a very good hat on. OK. If you're going to chat a lady up, take the hat off. Was it a bucket hat? JK? No.

I can't just go through people wearing hats. I thought you were giving me clues. Yeah, but where are we going to end up? Dave Stewart? Anyone else with a hat? No, no. Anyone else who'd like to throw

their hat in the ring? Very good. So we've got, he put it in a clear plastic bag. He put it up for five pounds, originally. He couldn't believe his luck when he suddenly saw it had reached, well now, £65,900.

Can I say, hold on, what is, what is Nebworth's day job? What is it? Is it a stately home? It's a privately owned stately home. Oh, I always assumed it was an aerodrome. You know what I mean? It just feels... A circuit, a racing circuit or something. He thought it was like RAF Northolme or something. What is an aerodrome exactly?

What's the difference between an aerodrome and an airport? An airfield. I like Frank's unusual approach to broadcasting. He just asks questions all the time. What is an aerodrome? What is the difference in aviation terms? I reckon we've got some pilots who can help us. Any pilots get in touch?

You have aerodromes and velodromes. Are they the only drones? Hippodrome. Oh, yeah. Well, let's not go into all the drones. I just don't know why an aerodrome would be different from an airport. Maybe it's only private and an aerodrome. I think of them as airfield.

Now, so this chap... That's what it is, it's a field with a windsock. That's an aerodrome. Anyway, carry on. So, yeah, what I liked about this David Watson from the Midlands character is he gave a quote saying what he was going to do if the bid came through I think that's doubtful but he

says he wants to invest it normally I don't like it when people answer this question on sort of game shows and things what will you do with the money yeah top three answers what would you say i i it's always i give it to my mother yeah i'll take my wife on holidays we've had a we've had a bit of a tough year yeah yeah all right kids to disneyland let's see what you would have won turn for that on i always thought it would be the minor keys when prince harry um got married he had three exes invited they were actually at the ceremony and it's one of the best examples of let's see what you wouldn't want just rob their nose is it hard anyway he answered which i liked he didn't go treat my mother she's a very

special lady no take the kids to Disneyland. They could do with a holiday. He went, I'm going to invest in a bouncy castle business. I can't decide whether that's a business that is or isn't inflation proof. Well, no, but he, I think that's why he said, the actual quote was, it's the only way to make money with inflation at the moment. Oh, he's doing a joke. And I don't think the press person got it,

and they thought, no, he really is going to buy that. So I'm sorry to undermine your joke there, but I think, to be fair to Dave Watson, with his throstle leg, I think he was doing a joke. I want to talk to you about the money, because there's something that i'm very anxious about frank skinner on absolute radio we were talking about um selling

grass previously oh dear but real grass grass episode of starsky and Hutch. I was unsettled by this article because people have bid several thousand pounds. What was the last one you saw? 65,000. 65 grand for about eight or nine blokes of grass. Now, clearly, there is some doubt in this guy's mind that anyone will actually pay now i thought there might be a legal obligation if you if you bid um i thought it might be um you know like in the

restaurant if you don't pay i'd like to ask anyone 8 12 15 has this ever happened to anyone ever that you have to wash the dishes if you don't pay in a restaurant? Well, surely that never happens outside of the bean at home. Well, I'd like to... If anyone knows if it actually happened in all works, I would love to hear about that. Secondly, if you bid for something at, say... Like, I went to an auction at Christie's once.

If you just bid wildly... Man of the people. Yeah, well, I was buying Elvis, it's sure. But if I'd bid 65 grand for something and at the end said, I'm not paying that, I think there would have been legal comeback. Oh, there is? Yeah.

Because that's a contract, I suppose. I think you have to go and renovate a painting You can't To renovate an oil painting from the mid 17th century You can't hold your paddle up and not be good for it No And other things that make me sound like Jacob Rees-Mogg Yeah

I was thinking of the Canuma I said that to him He wouldn't listen John Darwin Souma. I said that to him. He wouldn't listen, John Darwin. So it's... I think that's awful. You can bid and then just not be held to rights, banged to rights on it. So that's the thing, is that on eBay you can just...

I mean, we're not advertising this, is we? No, but it does sound like a great trolling opportunity. You could bring the entire eBay system down by just bidding for everything massively high. Don't do that. I believe in an auction situation, you are entering a legal contract, essentially, aren't you? Yeah, but that's what...

This is an auction situation. Exactly. I don't get it. I think they should be made to pay 65 grand. For blades of grass that Oasis or Liam Gallagher hasn't even touched. They could sell it as wind direction assessment equipment. You know you used to see golfers would throw a few blades of grass in the air and see which way it flew. That be and then it might be worthy dog dog regurgitation apparatus

so when did you used to it's a good founding how did you tell wind direction when you were little i we very everyone licked stuff when i was a kid yeah You lick your finger, don't you? Yeah, you licked your finger and the site that got cold, that was where the... But we licked everything. People licked pencils when they were writing. And if you were about to turn a page... Oh, don't. Yeah? Oh, yeah.

That's one of my phobias, is people licking... I asked someone to stop doing it once. It didn't go down well. I still lick a pencil now. Yeah, but someone licking their it makes me what if they've got you know in the post office they have the little moist sponge

you dip the finger in and do it but they also used to have those those rubber thimbles with the abrasive rubber thimbles yeah what happened to that I wouldn't mind one of those if anyone knows where I can get one.

They've gone the way of paperweights with animal figurines on them. Oh. Well, we'll see. Letter openers. We'll see. We'll see. No, we won't. I've got a...

No, we won't see. I've got a letter opener with a deer's hoof as the handle. Hoof? They're not very dexterous, are they, for opening letters? No, there's a sharpie on it as well. Oh, no, actually, it's for opening cupboards, if I remember rightly. Frank Skinner. Absolute radio. Have you... Did I do this Correctiony?

Which is from Matt in Essex, regular listener. I made a mistake, didn't I? I have to correct Frank with regards to the Steve Martin film. Here it comes. Correctiony, Correctiony Our best mix. Olé, olé, olé Really sounds like an actual crowd singing.

Go on. It is actually the jerk, not the man with two brains. And whilst I agree with his current view of the jerk... No, it wasn't, but it wasn't my current view of the jerk because it was man with two brains. They were two separate... He's right, the trumpet was from the jerk. I got that wrong, I made a mistake.

But the film I watched with my partner that she didn't like was man with two brains well yes that's his point whilst i agree i'm sorry my emphasis was wrong whilst i agree with his current view of the jerk which did seem better 20 years ago the man with two brains remains a comedy classic no but no it's wrong because I watch man with two brains I have a rewatch the judge didn't like it and you and she needs to but if you watch it a comedy film with someone who doesn't like it it's very easy to not like it yourself I think don't watch films twice they're often rubbish the second time and if you have big dupper film to someone it is hard to then watch

it with them. I never do that. When you've really hyped something up. Yeah, I hyped it too much. I made a mistake. We've had a reply, Frank, about the dishwashing in a restaurant.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, and it's from somebody called Alderman Malachy Pakenham which his name just makes me think he's got some authority. Right. It makes me think

he represents the Monster Rave in Looney Party. I could be wrong. He says, the washing dishes got some authority right it makes me think he's a represents the monster raving loony i could be wrong he says the washing dishes is a legal falsehood unless you agree to do so auctions are different there is an implied contractual agreement between auction house and buyer i will send you my professional free note in due course no but very fine but send me your number please alderman buterman. But isn't there an agreement between an eBay bidder? Does it count as an auction house, eBay, or is it a different type?

I think it is an auction house. Childish font? Of course there isn't. I use eBay a lot, and I would feel morally obliged if I'd bid something to spend that money. I'm put off by the font. Fair enough. I bought a Ethelred the Unready coin.

Ooh. £450. You're the only person alive that would react like that. We did a podcast episode about Uncle Red the Unready. And that's when I learned that unready doesn't mean he wasn't ready. What does it mean? It means unaware. Is that right?

They just couldn't resist the pun. He had the classic sort of scheming mother as well, didn't he? He had like a theatrical mother wanting to get him on the main stage. It's a great story. His name's basically an oxymoron. I think his surname sort of contradicts his first name. Ethelred. And the red of Ethelred contradicts the

unready. I can't remember the exact details. Yes, but it is to do with unawareness, isn't it? And it's something to do with bad counsel in there as well. Oh, that ill-advised. That's what it is. That's it ill advised. Ethel Redley advised is ill advised so his name contradicts itself. You know what I think

I think he's put a PR spin on that so it's basically saying it's not my fault I was ill advised. But he's got terrible PR he's got a very bad Viking action. Is it worse than Genghis? Is it worse than his PR?

He's got the worst PR. No, I think he's got a sense of evil but powerful, whereas Æthelred's got a slight sort of oafish, sort of silly, incompetent man thing. You don't want that if you're a Anglo-Saxon king. You don't want silly. That's one of your adjectives there's no Alfred the silly is there

no this is Frank Skinner this is Absolute Radio yeah but is it cake oh is it cake I think you should present that Frank yeah I think not the sort of people

I think I've got one of those faces now on telly that people don't want to have food around it it's alright, people get old that's what happens speaking of which Prince Charles as we mentioned earlier I never got round to this, he said

maybe this year it will come home with actually footage of Bobby Moore receiving the World Cup in the background I never got round to this. He said, maybe this year it will come home. With actually footage of Bobby Moore receiving the World Cup in the background. And obviously I was quite pleased. Especially as Rod Stewart came on and said, the BBC made me sing this. And then did Sweet Caroline.

And I thought, what's happened is, the BBC has launched a conspiracy against Three Lions. And Prince Charles is my man on the inside. what's happened is the BBC's launched a conspiracy against Three Lions. Yeah. And Prince Charles is my man on the inside. Yeah. That's what it is. Very exciting. And then Rod Stewart's wife went on Loose Women and said,

now the Queen directly had asked Rod to sing Sweet Caroline. What? Why? Why? Only if she thought he was Neil Diamond, which is possible, of course. But I don't think that's right. You did, I mean, you have had... Blaming the Queen, bullying Rod Stewart.

This is what the BBC are like with people over 75 now, because they don't have to pay for a TV licence. There's no reason to keep them sweet. You have had previous, of course, with the Queen. I have, yeah, but I look, you know, the Queen, I enjoyed the whole event. She did a great Paddington job. I'm not blaming the Queen.

Something weird has gone on where Rod Stewart who's had 900 hits does a cover it's a plot when did Sweet Caroline become I'm not a big sports person so when did that become

the big sort of well for England I think about really it's super popular during the last Euros last summer. But I think Glasgow Rangers sang it for many years,

which is another odd reason for a Celtic, high-profile Celtic fan to sing it. I'm a purist. But besides all the conspiracy theory, did you watch the pageant? You didn't because you were in... I didn't, I was in Kilkenny. The pageant was... I set this up last week, decade bosses

with people from each decade on the bus. That was awful, Angela. They lumped you in your decade. So they said, you're going on the 90s bus. You're on the 80s. What a way to find out

you're not relevant anymore. Yeah, but more brilliantly, I don't know if you did this, Angela, but there is a long time on a tradition in the celebrity world that if you're offered any job, which is like unusual and doesn't have, like, is an obvious, like, doing what the way, you always, there's always one question you ask, who else is doing it?

I think that question had been overlooked by a great many people. I think people who go to things now where they think, oh, I wish I hadn't come here, celebrity type, they'll say, oh, yeah, they absolutely threw me onto the bus rather than under it. Honestly, you should watch it because they couldn't even get the decades right. What decade did they start with? How far back did they go?

Well, let's just say Bonnie Langford, who's a lovely woman, they put her on the 1940s bus or something. Did they? Disgusting, disgraceful. Anthony Eterna was on the 60s bus. What? And Alan Titchmarsh,

who was on the 60s boss, kept saying over and over, well, I didn't do any television until the 70s. Oh, it was a real, why am I here? It was the most, why am I here?

When will it end? I've ever seen. There's some agents getting sacked, aren't there, this week? Oh, man. I presume the people on the bosses don't have agents. Anyway, if ever, Angela, you have a bad showbiz moment

over the rest of your career, I would always say, at least I wasn't on the pageant. By the way, episode three of my poetry podcast is out Wednesday. This week, Alfred Lord Tennyson. Half a league, half a league off. And catch up on all the previous episodes from wherever you get your podcasts. I actually do an impression of Alfred Lord Tennyson.

He's one of my faves. I can't wait. Well, you'll love it. Lady of Shalott. I love it anyway, Frank. Anyway. Anyway. Thank you. I can't wait well you'll love it Lady of Shalott can't go wrong I love it anyway Frank anyway anyway thank you Angela it was lovely having you on

thank you for having me thank you so much coming all the way from the seaside so the good lord spares us and the creeks don't rise we'll be back again this time

next week now get out this is Frank Skinner this is Absolute Radio we'll be back again this time next week now get out