The Frank Skinner Show - The Frank Skinner Show - Best of 2019 - Part 2

Episode Date: December 28, 2019

Frank Skinner's on Absolute Radio every Saturday morning and you can enjoy the show's podcast right here. Radio Academy Award winning Frank, Emily and Alun bring you a show which is like joining your mates for a coffee... So, put the kettle on, sit down and enjoy UK commercial radio's most popular podcast. Take a trip down memory lane as the team discuss Frank’s Royal Variety Performance, drinking orange squash in the evening, Boiler Man losing his stripes and they are joined in the studio by Steven Moffat.

The best of Frank Skinner Absolute Radio Quickie, Alan's back from holiday and he's got that He's not back from holiday, you think? I've spent some time in Brighton He's been away, but he's got that glow You know when someone comes back with the glow?

Oh yeah, sunburn Yes Slight sunburn How long were you in Brighton? Tuesday till today. Oh. I thought you just went down for a gig, but you made it into a trip.

No, no, I've got a couple of nights there. Oh, it's like when you play Bournemouth in the Premier League and you go down there for the weekend and have a bit of fun. Oh, okay. Very similar to that. Nice idea. I feel like we're ignoring the elephant in the room somewhat. Well, I feel we're doing that thing.

That's very flattering. Thank you. Well, something to say about that. I'm afraid at home you won't get that joke to have explained. It's one of those jokes that you'll appreciate further down the line and it'll be worth so much more. There was a thing that happened last week. I think we had an email,

didn't we, about that? We did. We did. I mean, I was in absentia last week, wasn't I? You was? What's it like? I've never been there.

Absentia. Yeah, it's alright. It's not as good as Brighton. I imagine it's run by some tin pot dictator. Absentia. That's Aaron Anderton apparently, wasn't it? A bit like, who's the, who's the, what's the name of the place tin pot dictator. That's Aaron Anderton, apparently.

A bit like, who's the, what's the name of the place in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Oh, yes, it's like one of those Moldavia. Yeah, one of those places. Moldavia's real estate. Yeah, Moldova was in Dynasty. Okay. Okay. Well, I'm trying to not distract myself from the seabill,

but I do have an anecdote that I may pop back to at some point during the morning. I'll bookmark it. Can I open another tab? As I say, I wasn't here last week. Dear Alan, the DME, and in this instance, particularly Mr Skinner, long-time reader, first-time writer.

I've just been listening to podcasts. It's Tuesday today, this arrived. A mere three days since you broadcast the show, but in many ways a different world altogether i've just heard a comment from which uh from frank which i feel needs to be brought up on saturday this may have been a throwaway comment that most readers will have forgotten but could make the next show very interesting frank mentioned a t-shirt he'd been gifted something to do with the ashes and he pointed out that we weren't doing so well in our

then current match. So poorly, in fact, he said he'd do the next show wearing just that T-shirt, should we win. I'll just leave that there. Praise, et cetera, 814. And he's not alone, although you might be feeling quite alone this morning, because Ollie Wilton got in touch with us.

If we win this match, I'll do next week's show in just this T-shirt. I look forward to seeing how the 1996 rear of the year is holding up. Oh, nice. I'm afraid it's broken away from its mooring. When we've got a studio webcam, that could have changed the complexion of this. I can't wait to see Em's face when Frank does next week's show in just his T-shirt. Feel sorry for Emily and Alan after what was promised.

It goes on. Yes. Okay? Yes. Okay? Yes. When we won that game and... Cricket? You reached for the arsenic.

I had several dilemmas around the game because I didn't actually see the glorious ending live. Oh. Because I was lost in Tottenham. I was driving round and round Tottenham looking for somewhere to park. That was how I

celebrated it. Sport on the radio is good, isn't it? But when I got an alert saying England have won and I remember thinking, I bet people didn't even hear me say it.

It was such a casual remark. How could I have possibly thought that about radio? You know, sometimes we get texts saying, oh, I like that joke that the other two are completely... And it picked on the slightest throwaway. That's what I love about it so you made a

promise hoisted I made a promise but I know the producers just handed you a fez the miniature

fez so I do hope it won't fit in there have you got a six and seven eights that last count

god's sake the best of Frank Skinner. Absolute radio. So anyway, so then I was in a situation where I think Emily contacted me. And Emily came to my house, actually. That's how desperate she was. And said, oh, I've had loads of tweets about you having to do it in just a T-shirt next week. It was like a Cobra meeting.

Okay, everyone, come on. So, I, again, thanks. So, what I did is I got in contact with our... Legal department. No, I was

thought of with our esteemed leader, I think they said, whatever the term they used. Our divine esteemed leader, I think they said. All right. Whatever the term they used. Our divine esteemed leader. Yeah. Paul Sylvester, who's like Mr. Absolute in many ways. And he said to me, you can, because we have three, you know,

we have not just Emily, but two female members of staff. And I thought, I don't know what the situation is. Three ladies. Exactly. They like it. Well, that was my question. We can't assume that. Yeah, exactly.

Three little maids from school. Three little maids. We're probably making this work, but can I just say, I got involved, as they say in the East End. Yeah. And I did, you know, Frank was ever so sweet, Al. He was very conscious of not putting anyone in an uncomfortable position. My response to this was, yeah, nice try, mate.

Your face is on the tea towel now. You're doing it. It's all gone. But he was conscious. I did discuss it with the womenfolk here. We were absolutely set on him doing this. But I did get a directive. Yeah.

In fact, I couldn't completely carry out my thing. I had to wear pants. And actually, the esteemed leader said they had to be boxers. It was an interesting distinction. Introducing an element of jeopardy, I would say. Yeah, you know, briefs. What about if I always wore briefs? Yeah, OK, I'm feeling a bit sick.

I said you could do it. I didn't say. It just seems wrong wearing boxers for a cricket bet. Good point. But, you know, anyway, I went with the boxers. Well, obviously, Gary Lineker, Gary Winston Lineker, has set the precedent here. Yeah, but he basically wore football shorts, in my opinion.

OK. Whereas I've just put my usual boxers on. Have you? Oh, they sound nice. But I would have gone briefs, because briefs was nearer to the brief, so to speak. Yes. Brian, the fez has been placed on your desk again.

Yeah, I know. Am I going to get my face slapped during the music? Don't mention it again. Anyway, so I am, in fact, I'm here in my T-shirt and pants. That's how I'm doing

the show this morning. It's as close as I could get in the current climate to carrying out my promise. Pigs or it didn't happen. Yeah. Well,

you can, you can certainly do pigs. That's fine. I think I have to, I have to do my penance. As we say in the Catholic Church. Absolute

Radio. The best of Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. Yeah, there used to be a little poem on force. Do you remember that? There was a breakfast cereal called Force.

Don't glimmer at it force it's a really weird title and it had a character leaping over a fence i'm assuming i can work out what it what was in it force that's what was in it brand based and i don't think it was. And it used to say, over the wall jumps Sonny Jim. He's got force inside of him. And I always thought, I'm not happy. Even as a kid, I thought they could have done better than that. But there's a proverb about barrier leaping, if you need one. Over the wall, I mean, Sonny Jim as well.

Sonny Jim. That'd be a real, Saul, can I go back to the, um, He looked like a middle-aged man, the drawer. Did he?

Oh. Yeah, like he'd been called Sonny Jim when he was a kid and stuck with it, which is, you know. What's that,

you've got to get it right, the Scotts Oats man always was bang on, I find. He looked good in a kilt. That's what I thought about him. But I didn't feel he was making a fool of himself, trying to look too young.

Are those people still around? People who are sort of famous for adverts only. I mean, since... Jolly Green Giant? Well, since Go Compare Man. Oh, yes. Who, in the latest advert, is involved in quite a serious road accident.

Is that right? I can't believe it. Oh, I haven't seen that one. The car has overturned and the GoCompareMan's having to crawl out the wreckage in an advert. And then he sings. No, he doesn't sing.

He's in a terrible state. He shook off to High Heaven. Oh, no. What, is that sort of Mike Lee cello music at the end? There's a sort of man talking about comparing things. Standing in the after... There's a fabulous picture. Elvis, apparently, used to listen to police radios

and used to attend car accidents and stuff like that because he was given a police badge. And my favourite Elvis picture ever is him is Elvis at the scene of a proper wrecked car and it's at night and it's Elvis in a full length leather

jacket with a right down to his feet with a massive torch and shades on walking around sort of inspecting the wreckage mind your own business Elvis oh yeah

so I don't know if maybe that's what this folks doing but I didn't like it at all I didn't like the go compare I don't like the melancholy feel I'm worried that what they're going to do is do an Ellie Goulding go compare at the Go Compare I don't like the melancholy feel I'm worried that what they're going to do is do an Ellie Goulding Go Compare at the end now

you know because they'll have to make it I don't like that no I just like him to sing Go Compare he's jolly with a moustache yeah

but I think he's the last what about Alessandra Alessandra who's that I'll be it's not a real person is it sorry What about Alessandra? Alessandra. Who's that? That's not a real person, is it?

Sorry. Go compare, man. I'm not saying that's who he is in real life. No, I don't think it is. Well, if you knew my parents, that's what everyone was like. But let's just say, you know, I thought so with his family. I hope he's come through that crash all right. It'd be terrible. Imagine if in the next thing he's like, you know,

he's in a coma or something. It'd be awful. I hope they stop eventually destroying him as an entity. The best of Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. 579 has sent us an interesting message. Oh, yeah. The best of Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. be all right must be all right for you after all a lot of tummy rumbles must have with a glass of orange squash oh that's gross like that's nice i like the sound of that well all right i'm gonna have to take back my thought about the next sentence never met anyone else that did this until i met my husband love you all darling that's how we that's how we find um the right person yeah in life well if they eat oxo cubes i think orange squash if you meet someone who That's how we find the right person. Yeah. In life.

If they eat OXO cubes. And drink orange squaff. If you meet someone who has a similar quirk. It's a heady cocktail. What is that? When I say a similar quirk, I don't mean, obviously, Pauline. It's one of the other families.

We didn't think you meant that. So you're going out with Pauline Quirk and they're going out with like... Linda Robson. Helen Quirk, who's a cousin who looks quite a bit like her. I got in the other night late. Yes. What time was late?

Well, it was about one in the morning. Oh, that is late. Late for me. And, you know, I sat down, I had a nice orange squash, and I thought to myself, is it too late for orange squash? It really felt... It's not a night-time drink. Yeah.

Yes, I mean, it's not really a... It's not really a sort of 2019 drink, if I'm 100% honest with you. Dear Dietary, did I do a bad thing? No, I don't think you did anything. Squash has sort of died out now, darling. I don't know. I mean, obviously texting any fans, but I mean... I still have a squash sometimes.

Do you? I thought to myself, if this was, say, a Ribena, which we could call a blackcurrant squash, I would feel that all right, because there's something about its purpleness which makes it of the night. Oh, yeah. Whereas the orangeness of squash reminds me of the sun.

It's the sort of morning drink, isn't it? Orange. Orangey drinks are very morningy. I would say you're right. Orange squash is your daytime friend. Yeah. And Ribena's your nightclubbing pal. Yeah.

We've all got them. I remember I had a cleaner once, I know, and she was going to Ibiza for a week and she had her nails done like one orange, one yellow,

one orange, one yellow and I said, that's nice and she said, yes, sun and sand. Which I thought was fabulous. No, she was talking

about your laundry pile. Yeah. Yes, I know what you mean. Sometimes in the evening, you see a hot chocolate. Similarly, if someone... Hot chocolate at ten in the morning, a bit strange. Yes, yeah, that's true.

Yeah, you'd better be skiing or something. What are the other squashes you can get there? You can't get apple squash. Oh, you can. Apple squash. Yeah, we do. It's really nice. I've never heard anything called apple squash.

Well, we get it. And my kids were really excited that I got some the other day. It's one of the few bits of good dadding I've got to chalk up. Can you get a melon squash? Oh, I don't think so. I don't know why squash is seen as so uncool, though. Yeah. Well, because it's quite 70s, Frank.

It's not very healthy. That's all right. If we were in a cafe in LA now having breakfast and someone said, I'll have an OG, please, and they ordered an orange juice, that'd be fine, wouldn't it? Give me OG. Yeah. Actually, OJ Simpson was known an orange juice, that would be fine, wouldn't it? Give me O.J. Yeah. Actually, O.J. Simpson was known as the juice, I believe.

Yes, he was, yeah. If his name had been O.S. Simpson, would he have been known as the squash? No, he wouldn't. And you're suggesting if someone... Oliver Sacks. Does anyone call Oliver Sacks the squash because he's O.S.? No.

That's my thing. So what would it be wrong if that same guy said give me an iron squash please. People would think what the earth has happened. Anyway, I think squash is getting quite a bad deal and can I also say I spent my whole childhood

not calling it squash. Squash is someone I picked when I was 20. We always called it cordial. Right. So you'd have orange cordial. Well picked when I was 20. We always called it cordial. Right. So you'd have orange cordial. Well, when I had my Scottish accent, we always called it diluting. Oh, did you? We would just say,

can I have some diluting, Mum? That's great. Oh, you've made it sound like a very trendy energy drink. If it was still called diluting, that gorilla that escaped from London Zoo and had five litres of ribena would have known not to drink it neat yes um apparently you weed purple for three days this is the best of frank skinner on absolute radio frank we've had a missive by the medium of Twitter. Ah, yes. From Nick Gray.

OK. He says the following. I'm reading Frank's book, albeit a second-hand copy, hashtag austerity. Yeah. Imagine my surprise at turning the page to find this. Shall I explain what this is? Yes, you might have to.

It's a passage which begins thus the funniest bit in the god delusion is when dorco says that on two different occasions he sat and listened whilst his wife read the whole book aloud to him yes in in nick gray's copy of the book secondhand copy of the book, second-hand copy of the book, someone has crossed out Dorco and written in biro Richard Dawkins. Wow. Nick Gray says, I like to think this was at Richard Dawkins himself, taking exception to the over-familiarity. Hashtag Dorco.

Wow. Or maybe it was someone who was reading out that passage as part of a maybe they were auditioning for rada i'm reading you that's a strange audition you know an extra who was auditioning adrian child my uh my original book the autobiography which i think that's from the second yes this is from book two um i was used um in a um o-level gcse mock exam comprehension test so they used the passage from me and then it had questions like how does frank skinner create a sense of um excitement in the you know all those questions used to get at school marvelous oh ious. Oh, I love that. How does Frank Skinner create tension?

Kath puts her hand up. Yeah, exactly. People are queuing up to answer that one now. Anyway, so where did I go? I went... I'm going to tell you the former name of this place to really give it its form. It's called Beads World.

And the venerable Bead, you know. Sorry, what? Are you obsessed by the Venerable Bead? This is like your Justin Bieber. But it's a theme park based on the Venerable Bead. What is it, Owl the Bead? I don't really quite... Owl?

We've talked about it before, but I can't remember. I know, but we've talked about it eight times and I don't understand it. Well, Bead was a monk. You're going to say the same thing. Yeah, who lived in jarrow and wrote books basically that's a fair summary of it what's the secret of beads appeal for you well he wrote the book he wrote a book an ecclesiastical history of England, without which we'd know almost nothing about Anglo-Saxon history.

The ecclesiastical. That's a bit hard on the archaeologists. More about the ecclesiastical, Al. Hashtag Dorco. Yeah, exactly. But this is a theme park based on Bede, the Venerable Bede. Come on. That is something, isn't it?

So what are the... They've changed it to Jarrow Hall now, but it was originally known as Beads World. I think they thought it was a bit populist. The venerable bead, I'll be the judge of that. Well, that's how he's always known. In fact, there was a bit, because they've got rare breed animals claiming that they were animals that were around in Anglo-Saxon.

Yeah. They got those, and they got buildings, and they got bead. And I said you could apply animal venerable mineral here. It's a joke that you can't use every day of the week, I must say. But they have got a cast of, actually it's got, they've got bead skull. Oh, have they? And someone did a cast of it. And it says,

Beads, Venerable Beads, Skullcast, which sounds like a fabulous gothic podcast. You could listen to... That should be the name of a podcast. I'm going to do a podcast called The Venerable Beads Skullcast. Are there any skullcasts? I mean, do they exist?

Just a quick question. How busy was it at Mead World? Well, we got there quite late. We only got the last hour. Right. But a school party was arriving just as we left, and it was a Sunday, so why it was a school party, I don't know. I still liked it, you know.

And what did Pierre make of it? Yeah. He has to like it, doesn't he? No, no, he does. Where Bad Puss goes to bed, all his friends go to bed. Yeah. I can't comment on that. But he said he liked it.

And I said, OK, you can do the rest of the tour. The best of Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. to the tour. I've been vindicated, by the way. 245 has texted Alan. I also shred and wok the sprouts, but I fry them with garlic, bit of red chilli and finish with almonds. I struggle to say that. Almonds? Almonds?

Almonds, yeah. And then he says, crack on, lad. The Jamie Oliver recipe, I think it's called Brussels with Hustle or something. Recommended. Okay. It's like a civic duty doing this show. Anyway, what I was getting at is this thing that people say, you can't have Yorkshire pudding with turkey

because Yorkshire pudding lives with beef. Yes. And this is an interesting, to me, a very interesting point and I'll tell you for why. I really like mint sauce. So obviously when I have lamb, I have mint sauce. But I'll

also put mint sauce on beef or whatever. I love mint. What is it it's the tiny people about these rules no but i tell you what it is there's a certain thing in roast dinners and it's yorkshire pudding and beef it's beef and horseradish yes pork and apples there is a there is a monogamy that you don't find um in the modern world anywhere else. There's more loyalty. Certainly not in relationships.

You're a bit more polyamorous about the condiments, aren't you? That's what I need, a nice bit of beef. There are married couples that don't have the strict loyalty code that pork and applesauce, for example, observe. I mean, how did we arrive at that? That's what you need. People say I'm looking for my lobster. What they need to say, or my penguin,

they need to say I'm looking for my apple sauce. What's the lobster penguin? Lobsters mate for life and so do penguins. Oh, I see. I never knew that. Thank you. Yeah, but who wants to go out with a lobster? Not a penguin. Lobster. Who would wants to go out with a lobster not a penguin

lobster who's the word who would you rather go out with penguin or lobster penguin anytime oh it's freezing no no but they're caught you know you can cuddle one of those there's no point cuddling in the club look i've been out with both take it from me yeah okay the bread's a bit history he's got a history yeah but can we not loosen up a bit? I was... Yeah. Having said that, I had a bit of an experience this week,

which I'm sensing... Here we go, Al. Buckle up, everyone. I'm sensing that... Good night. I just think Al is going to know about this, but I didn't. I was in the north of England on tour,

on the road, with my merry band of... Th of omar and pierre and we do sound like the three it's a good beta three year what they were called um musky hounds yeah musky hounds i went yeah um and um one of the guys said, Oh, you know where we are, don't you? We're near T-Bay Services. Oh, nice. And I said, What's that? And they said, T-Bay? Come on.

And I said, I don't know what you're talking about. Do you know this, Emily? Of course I don't. So we went to T-Bay. It's absolutely nice. Do you know it, Al? Really nice. It's where I actually...

I've got a slight bit of PTSD about it because it's where my children insisted on having an adult pie when they could have had a child's meal for £1. Oh, was it there? So they cost me an extra £20. It's a place that encourages that kind of decadence, I would say. It's nice. Because if there was a road to heaven,

the services on it would be Teabay. Oh, is this right? I might drive there specially. Do you heaven, the services on it would be Teabay. Is this right? I might drive there specially. Do you know, I love a nice... Sometimes I'll drive off just... If I know there's one coming up... They had freshly caught Bill Tong in the delicatessen. Yeah.

And also, there were people at Teabay services who weren't wearing tracksuits. Yeah. What were they wearing? To services. It's really different. Can you imagine? I saw two thin people.

I mean, what's going on? What's happened to services? It's incredible. It's got everything. They've got like craft items. Oh, they have. They had pencils that said things like, I love books on them it's a services it's really different i love big hardcover books about princess diana that you can buy all the world

of cars no no the world of cars exactly no this i mean it's a lovely place i would drive to t-bay just to hang out and then drive back again i might go after the show i was absolutely i mean they had fresh built on three varieties i bet if i asked for earl grey they wouldn't look at me oh no oh god they'd have all that so i went in there to roast dinner and it was you know it was perfect yeah did i have mint have mint sauce? You bet I did. The best of Frank Skinner. Absolute radio. One redeeming feature about,

whatever you may think of Jacob Rees-Mogg, whether you be pro or anti. As I call him. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do You should put that music on when you discuss him, really, or some classic. Oh, yeah, I don't have any classic stuff on my fingertips. But he did what I think is the funniest joke ever done by a politician. Oh, excellent. I know that's not a tough call. But he did do one joke, and it was like an Instagram post,

which I thought was, I really properly laughed out loud at it. Are you familiar with what I'm talking about? I don't know. I am. Do you know his son? He's got a son about, I think he's about 11 or 12,

who looks exactly like Jacob, and dresses like Jacob. He's got the glasses and everything. So there's a picture that he posted, and it's the two of them standing together, both with big vote conservative rosettes. They look like identical, like mini-me, John. And they're standing outside a tattoo parlour

and piercing place. And there's two posters on the window of this tattoo parlour that say Vote Labour. And it's got a picture of the two of them in their rosettes standing outside this, tattoos and piercing. And the caption he's put is, we shall have to take our business elsewhere.

Now that, whatever you think of him, is a brilliant joke. And also a recognition of what they look like and how inappropriate they are. Oh, man, I love it. It's a fine joke. He deserved a lie down after that joke. We'll have to take a look.

Oh, Jacob. Just a quick email. Do you want the email corner jingle? If you've still got it. Oh, wow. Just a quick email. Do you want the email corner jingle? If you've still got it. Oh, wow. Dust it off. Email. OK, so timing was a bit off.

It was good, I thought. Just wanted to communicate the rumours that goalkeeper David James and his partner Nadia are to dance a foxtrot to the tune of Three Lions on Strictly Tonight, Prisoner 561. Yes, I've heard that. You've heard that rumour? I must say, we never really wrote it as a dance piece. Well, let's see how that goes. Well, it's not a You Look Wonderful Tonight.

I mean, I love that song I don't know if I'd have it as first dance unless I was marrying a footballer I remember Norwegian Dance With The Stars or whatever it was called and a footballer doing a sort of

keepy oppy type dance routine really? that was terrible that sounds absolutely awful because what will be good about it keepy-oppy type dance routine. Really? Yeah, that was terrible. That sounds absolutely awful. Because what will be good about it is it won't be me and Dave singing. It'll be their, you know, their live jazz guys.

Oh, football is coming home. Hey! They'll be a woman going, so many jokes, so many tears. It's all going to be that, yeah. Everyone, I said everyone needs to know the score. They have seen it all before. Yeah, it's going to be.

They're going to murder it. You know what I call my encore? And I'll be dancing. No, just no. There'll be lots of brass on there. And I'll be dancing. Football is truly coming home. Yeah.

David James floundering around like a great porpoise. They'll have... Oh, can you imagine the set-up as well, Frank? There'll be some sort of... They'll have to set it up like, obviously, football-themed. You know, when they dress the set, there'll be props akimbo. There'll be, yeah. Some sort of gloves.

Do you think they'll get him to do a deliberate... Because he was known as Calamity James. Yes. They'll get him to do a deliberate... Because he was known as Calamity James. Yes. They'll get him to do a deliberately drop the ball thing. I just don't think... No, I know at the end what will happen. You know when they end up in the final position? What's the end to that song?

Get out. I mean, I don't think that'll happen for weeks. No, carry on. I can't. It's not a prediction. It's not Mystic Meg. I mean, we don't do predictions on this show. No.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing it. So does he. Yeah. Absolute Radio. The best of Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. Jason Donovan this week... Yes.

..became a heroic figure. I'm slightly... You saw this? Saw it? Never to be deleted. It's a confusing tale. Jason, there's a fire in somebody's side entrance. We mean house. No, but it said in their side entrance. OK, thank.

And it said... In the air? The police said, luckily, Mr Donovan... I'll give you the actual quote. He said he noticed the fire from his property over the road. There's a fire at his neighbour's house. Yeah, the fire was at 4.30am. Is he still operating on Australian time?

I mean, we should say the shocker was that he ran out in his pants wielding a fire extinguisher. Yes. I think two fire extinguishers. I do apologise. Let's hope. For downgrading himers. I do apologise. Let's hope. For downgrading him to the one.

Yeah. Let's hope they were both. OK. OK. He, as often happens in these stories, the sort of reps from the services were a bit of jokers going on there. They always quip in these stories.

They quipped. He said, everyone needs good neighbours. It's actually everybody, but never mind. Doesn't scan everyone. Everyone needs good neighbours. And the watch manager on the scene, who I believe is sort of

the sort of hose governor, said, he looks good for you. I'll say that with Snoop Dogg. We'll play that in the new Oliver. Or as I call him, Daddy. So he called him, he said he looks good for his age. Well, Jason was in his pants, it turns out. Well, Jason was in his pants, it turns out.

Now, look, I... It's fine. Fine that it did. I mean, if I'd have been having a go in this, it would have been, I sleep in more clothes than most people go out in. Oh, really? So I would have been fine. No, you wouldn't.

You wear a Donald Duck single pyjama top. It would be absolutely gross. Only in the summer. I just wear a pyjama jacket. You can't... It would have been absolutely gross. Only in the summer. I just wear a pyjama jacket. You can't... It would have been a picture of me in the paper fighting fire in just a pyjama jacket. A bare bottom.

It would have been the worst moment slash best of my life. Look, all this would be fine and I'd be admiring of him. Although it does say modest Jason played down his act of heroism, yeah, but he did put a picture of himself doing it on Twitter, I think. Which is a very odd picture because there's people just standing around

in it. It looks like there's loads of people. Yeah, it looks like there's loads of people there and he's just streaking through in his pants. Everyone else is fully dressed. Everyone else has managed to put clothes on. Also, everyone's everybody's got good clothes by the door. A robe, OK?

I put on a dirty old black T-shirt the other day. Look, all I would say is this, is that he has just announced a new tour. Oh, that's convenient. If I was the police, I might have a look in his garden shed to see if there's any petrol cans. That's all I'm saying. Well, I think he's in Joseph, isn't he?

Put the coat on, mate. Yeah, exactly. Put the Technicolor Dreamcoat on. Cover yourself up. Excuse me. Excuse me. Frank and I went to see his pharaoh. Oh, yeah, he's not Joseph anymore.

Oh, time is cruel. You say that. Ripped. Really? Yeah. Absolutely ripped. It's all right when we say it. Did you think he was ripped?

He looked pretty good, come on. Okay, fair enough. Really? After what he's been through. You want to go up against Jado? No, he was... I mean, you look fabulous, Frank. You've got a lovely pair of legs.

He is. He's one of the best-kept arsonists. And relax. And relax, everybody. The best of Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. I did BBC Breakfast this week. Did you? Yeah.

Which is a programme we always have on uh in silence yes um in the background now you might think that suggests we're not focused on the job but if a big if something really big happens it keeps us you know there's there's uh like if somebody big suddenly died or something means we could uh we could respond or or know, not mention them or something. Or not mention them. Exactly. Or try and find a jingle that is apt. We partly need that because we have a running feature

called 85 and Still Alive. We've got to make sure they are. It's regular updates. It's when we're just not quite sure. Yeah. Anyway, there's a thing, when you do a show like that, you do what they call a phoner, where one of the researchers phones you and says,

and just makes sure that they're not going to go anywhere dangerous in the conversation and just gets all the facts clear. You know, you're on tour and, you know, I was plugging my West End run, you see. And I was, I had the conversation with the researcher, I was on the top of the Great Tower at Conisbrough Castle. Oh. Which I felt a bit bad about,

because there was people that had come to see the castle, and there was a bloke, you know, on the phone. It was media chat. Yeah. Your 90s Don Jolly. And there's a website date for people who want a ticket and all that. I mean, it was pretty. But anyway, I did it.

Now, one of the things, I don't know if we've ever mentioned this on air, but one of the things I'm utterly fascinated by by BBC Breakfast is when they go through the papers, they don't just hold up the paper. There's a thing which I've come to think of as story-garmy. Oh, yes. they fold the paper so that just the story even if it's quite a small story they'll fold it

so you see a lot of folded paper behind it and they're holding up this tight and it looks like it's been ironed razor sharp edges it looks odd Frank, it looks like a doll's house paper there's something unsettling about it. Sometimes you see the tip of a shaky nail. So, yes. So I was on there and I said, look, can I ask you about...

You did. The Dory Garmin. You didn't ask about the paper. I said I'd love to... Is there a person whose specific job is... Actually, it's time they got their respect. They've been folding up bits of paper in the wings for years. Yeah, and some shows.

I mean, I've seen people... No one else would ask them that. That's what he's bringing. I've seen people hold up, you know, on other shows, like photocopies of stories, and people who can't find the story in the paper embarrassing, you know. But these guys, they've got the beautifully folded one. My real praise.

And so I said, so who folds your newspapers? And Dan Walker said, oh, that would be Faith. I'll introduce you. You've got to have faith. Yeah, exactly. Oh, good. Folding Faith. So I met her because the first thing she said was, I do Oh, good. Holding faith. So I met her.

Of course, the first thing she said was, yes, I do do other things on this planet. And I was slightly disappointed to hear. But yeah, so I got my photo took with her. All right. So maybe we can put that on social media. I'd love to see that. Holding faith.

And the woman who gets them into lovely... Do you remember there was a thing called the Millwall Brick? Sorry, the producer has absolutely lost it. There was a thing called the Millwall Brick when you could fold a newspaper into a thing that you could use as a weapon for football hooligans. I didn't come across that in Highgate. No.

And she would have been great at that if things had turned out differently for her. But here she is on BBC Breakfast. It was special, anyway. This is the best of Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Do you remember I spoke recently of Boilerman?

I do. Yes. And Boilerman, in case you don't know out there, is a man dressed as a combi boiler who is one of the mascots for West Bromwich Albion. And I was a big fan of Boilerman and then they added stripes to him this season to make him look more like the West Brom shirt

and I spoke out about this and then someone if you remember texted in and said well they've took the stripes aren't on him anymore so maybe this is I think they called it an Andrew Lloyd Webber because I'd already changed an encore to under music by

my enormous influence. You wield such great power. Opinion former. So, I went to the match on Tuesday night against Barnsley. Who should I bump into but Boilerman? Head off. Shut up. Head off.

No way. Yeah. Because they've, as you know, Quite a big spoiler, that. But also the strict rules, Disney. I mean, instant dismissal. Because Baggy Bird also head off, was talking to me as well. Baggy Bird, oh yeah.

So anyway... That wasn't me. By the way. No. We had... That wasn't Frank promoting an interview we once did, saying Baggy Bird was talking to me. Besides, you've had all that sorted, haven't you?

Yeah, I know. I've got the bandages. you do the pelvic floor exercise it's absolutely fine anyway taking it disgusting i have i have always always always okay meanwhile so um he said to me i said so you've took the stripes off and he said yeah he said we heard that you talked about it on the radio show. Oh, shut your boiler. And he held up this blue, like, spaghetti-type mask, and it was the stripes that they'd peeled off him. Are you joking?

So I had my photo talk with him and the discarded stripes, which I will put up on social media. Are you joking? So I had my photo talk with him and the discarded stripes, which I will put up on social media. So am I to understand the stripes were removed from the mascot as a direct result of you? Well, that's what he intimated to me. I don't think Bileman would lie. Great power. Well, can we talk about Ganasaurus Rex next?

Because I have some words on him. Oh, I don't even know what that is. That's the Arsenal mascot. Oh. He's a dinosaur, but I don't like the shirt. It's all cropped. You can't have a dinosaur in a cropped shirt. Well, okay.

I do apologise. I was right mid-message from 418, wasn't I? Ah, yes. I had the absolute pleasure of seeing Mr Frank using your... Basil brush. Yes, in Newcastle. And I wondered if Big Daddy was responsible

for the interval and pre-show music, a sort of big band jazz 60s cop show feel. Yes, I was. I ask because the James Bond theme played no less than four times. Did it really? Is Frank plotting revenge on that cleaner thief, Daniel Craig,

with a plan to play Jimmy Bond himself? Perkins to Bond could happen. That's from Claire. Thank you, Claire. Thank you, Claire, yes. I do, it's from an album called I think Crime Jazz which is, it's got

stuff like the Untouchables theme and stuff like that on it but I didn't, God I didn't know Crime Jazz, two words a lot of people dislike Yeah exactly I'm against that. Some people prefer crime

generally speaking. The best of Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. So I did the Royal Variety performance on Monday. Did you? I know it's not the big Royal Story of the week. I was going to say, I story of the week about them for a while how are they doing I meant well it wasn't it wasn't the Queen it was it was

it was William and Kate was it were present but it was it was quite a lark I must say Rod Stewart who was due to be on before me. They said you're on after Rod and Robbie. Did they? And then he cancelled that day. Did he really? That's gutsy, isn't it? Apparently, yeah, Rod Stewart woke up that morning and he

hadn't got a sore throat. So couldn't perform. Who filled in for him? Who did you call in when Rod Stewart drops out? Well, basically, Robbie just did a song on his own, a Christmas song. Went solo.

Yeah. Right. And then later he duetted with Jamie Cullum. Jamie Cullum, a bloke who I only ever meet at royal events. Is that right? He said, oh, last time I saw you, it was the Queen's 92nd. I said, yeah, I'll see you at the trial.

So, we... It's an interesting night. Have you ever been seen? I've not been to it. How do you go to it what is it ballot how do people get tickets you want to buy them i think you can the tickets range from 70 to 350 quid right which is that's more than eddie is charged yeah um which is the new benchmark is it it's for me it is it's one i look up to from the well below can i say what does 350 get

you that gets your front to sit in the royal box you get front stalls you can't buy a ticket for the royal box for goodness sake no it'd be a security there are other people in the royal box they must be official people well that's the variety in the royal variety. Yes. They've got the royals and then they have a variety of other people. They've got a prisoner, they've got a working mother who's falling asleep because she's really tired and out for an evening. They've got a guy from Wetherspoon.

There's a dog walker. It's like a competition. What about if they had a competition and you could be in the royal box with William and Kate? And they could, you know... You had to sit between them. I don't know if that... Yeah, but on the floor, they had to tell you throughout.

A bit like Gillette Soccer Saturday. They just told you what was going on, but you couldn't actually see it yourself. I'd love that. But it i was you get to share um well you have to unless you're um unless you're robbie williams you have to share a um dressing room when you go to the right variety oh yeah he got his own bit of a lonely night for him his his duet partner dropped out and then he's all on his own. No, he's got an entourage. Oh, has he?

Well, so I shared with a theatre group who were doing a play called Grown Ups, G-R-O-A-N. They're the people who did the play What Went Wrong. Oh, right. And also a very nice chap called Alexei. Alexei? Alexei, who was a Russian contortionist. Right.

And he's with Cirque du Soleil. He'd be quite good in a crowded, changing room, I suspect. He was perfect. Budge up a bit. He was in the bin for most of it. Ha ha ha! The best of Frank Skinner.

Absolute radio. So, yes, meanwhile, at the Royal Variety performance... Of course. I'd say it's somewhat what they pack the dressing rooms with, confectionery. Oh, did they? I mean, like, there was big bowls of Haribo's and... Does that mean they get a royal stamp

because they were approved by the royals? I was just thinking they could fill it up with Prince Charles' biscuits, couldn't they? Yeah, I don't think you'll give them free. Oh, really? No. It's a bit straight tight. Dutchie. Yeah, the Dutchie.

Yes, I think that the slogan is pass the Dutchie on the left-hand side and it's got somebody passing them, obviously, to their left yeah i tell you what they i didn't think i haven't done for years they had filled your pockets they had some big chocolate bars you know like proper big then ones that you get offered for a pound at um at the airport if you buy a certain newspaper yes really big and i just i just picked one up really big you know when you

bite into chocolate in such a manner that you ignore the um the cubings you just bite straight through as if it and i did i actually did that that noise and i haven't i don't know what happened to me i think it's think it was a royal event. I just went through the ceiling on it. Anyway, so at the end, we all go out for the, you all line up together. So there's me and Lewis Capaldi and Mabel lined up. Who's Mabel? Mabel is a singer.

She performed in like a circular thing, which she danced in like an enormous, like a big O, which I thought, that's an ankle snapper there, because she's dancing on the slope part of the time. I spoke to her about this. Apparently she had to be careful. Oh, right. Anyway, no, they were all nice.

They were very nice, the young people. That's good. Yeah, they helped me. No, they didn't. It was fine. And then you line up and they say, right, now Prince William and the Duchess will be coming now. And I was first in the line-up. Were you?

Yeah. I thought, this is a guy who can handle some royals. He'll set the tone. I think they thought, the line-up is so long, we'd better put the old people at the front. So I was the first one. So Prince William comes out first, taller than I thought. I'll be straight with you.

Taller than you'd ever imagined. Yeah, exactly. So he came up to me and said you know alright Frank he said alright Frank I mean they're told who you are I think he knew

because he started talking about football so I said you know you're supposed to let them lead but I said this is the first time I've ever shook hands with a Villa fan which he seemed to say and he said

you know I listen to your song every morning. And I thought, what? He said, George plays your football song every morning. And I was so, every part of me wanted to say, who? But I thought, no, he's assuming and obviously I do know. But I thought, no, he's assuming, and obviously I do know. So, yeah.

Did you say, because we all wake up and stand to attention to the national anthem. Well, I do most mornings, yes. No, I didn't. Because it's not really his song yet, is it? I think he, no, I said, Boz loves I Just Can't Wait To Be King. Which I imagine is one I imagine is your thing. What about if we all stood up for him and they played I Just Can't Wait To Be King? So then Kate comes over.

He was with me a bit too long. I think he did that thing, he did the bake-off mistake. Don't eat too much of the first cake because by the time you get to the 19th slice, you feel a bit sick. So he was with me quite a bit, talking about football and comedy, and then he moved on,

and then Kate came, lovely frock, I must say. I didn't say that to her. And she said to me, so is it difficult going on early in the show? And I thought, meaning? Yeah, what do you mean difficult? It looked like it was, you know, I didn't say.

Like when you come off stage and the first thing someone goes, tough crowd, that was. Yeah, it was a bit like that, yeah. And I said, well, no, it was, I said, I find, it's good to get on this gig early because they start to dip a bit after four or five hours. And I got the laugh and I thought, that's it, I've got the laugh, you can go now. So then you just turned the music up.

Yeah, exactly. And then off she went to Lewis Capaldi. So that was it. So I also thank Prince William for doing that. It's coming home before the semi-final. Do you see he did a piece to camera and he said it's coming home. Oh, man. So anyway, so we mainly talk football.

So that was my Royal Variety experience. Absolute Radio. The best of Frank Skin experience. Absolute Radio. The best of Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio. It was National Poetry Week this week. Oh. Well, no, the day was on Thursday,

National Poetry Day. You know, I don't think I heard a single poem. Oh, well, you should have called me. So, well,

I did because my son, I've got a seven-year-old, if you're new to the show, and I know it's tedious when people talk about their kids, but there is a point to this. And he had to learn for National Poetry Day, The Owl and the Pussycat. It's a classic. I learned it with him because I didn't know Off by heart, it's really good to get poems Off by heart, but There was The second Verse begins

Pussy said to the owl, you elegant Fowl And he, you know he's a big Queen fan And he started over and over again Going, pussy said to the owl Pussy said to the owl a big Queen fan. And he started over and over again going, Pussy said to the owl, Pussy said to the owl,

Pussy said to the owl, Pussy said, and I've been unable to get it out of my head all week. And then, of course, out of context, people can be slightly alarmed by the move. But it just was so perfect. Pussy said to the owl, Pussy said to the owl.

Pussy said to the owl. I thought maybe we could try under pressure with that as a backing thing. Do you know the words to under pressure? Yeah. Well you delete vocal and maybe me and Emily can do pussy said to the owl. Hang on.

What? Go on. One, two, three, four. Pussy Said to the Owl. Okay. Well, hang on. What? Yeah, all right. Go on. One, two, three, four. Pussy said to the owl. Pussy said to the owl. Under pressure. Pussy said to the owl.

Pushing down on me. Pushing down on you. No matter what. Pussy said to the owl. I'm under pressure. I'm never getting the picture. I don't like when... I thought you said, I'm depressed, sir. When Gareth says, I'm not depressed. I don't like when... I thought you said, I'm depressed, sir.

When Gareth says under pressure, he really sounds like he's under pressure. It's like a method singing. I was under a lot of pressure. You were. It sounds like... It's the most under pressure anyone has ever sang, under pressure.

This is the best of Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio. Can I ask you guys a question? Sure. I... I've been... Can I just say, I didn't say the word sure until working with Emily

and now I say it all the time. It's my greatest ever legacy. Yeah. I was in Jersey on Wednesday night doing a gig. Was that the Bergerac one? Was he Guernsey?

Alan, though? Oh, I thinkernsey? I don't know. It's Graham Lasseau. That's how I always think of it. Jersey's Graham Lasseau and I think Guernsey's Matt Letizia. Oh, I think Bergerac is Jersey.

Okay. As you were. Anyway, someone on stage shouted out Hang on. Surely you were on stage. No, no, I was on stage.

Oh God, I've got it very wrong. I did shout out quite a lot but only in pain. Oh no. No. And it was lovely. And someone shouted out I mentioned that I'd done

the Royal Variety performance which went out on Tuesday night. And this woman shouted talk your shirt in. Oh God, I was worried this was going to come up. And I thought, I checked out, my shirt was tucked in. So I said, it is tucked in, and it got a laugh.

And then after, I forgot about it. I didn't. And then the next morning, I spoke to my manager, who said, that shirt thing's all died down. I said, what shirt thing is that? And then I can't remember what happened. I can. No, but I mean in this conversation,

but we went somewhere else in the conversation. And so I was coming in this morning and I thought, hold on, I never got to the bottom of Shirtgate. So do you know what this is about? Where's the tea? Is that on its own? Well, one of our readers

has been in touch. Adam. Can I say this is not a set up? I absolutely just No, I'm about to vomit. I wasn't even sure you two would know. Oh no, I knew. I was just pretending it hadn't happened. Adam has got in touch. Was there excrement on it? He said Frank Skinner was trending on the socials.

This was on the 10th of December. You were trending? You were trending. I can't be right. Last week, I was at the theatre with you when the incident happened, I believe. That was the night the Royal Variety performance went out. Right.

And it was when i got home that i saw you were trending on the socials and what was then i don't just because my shirt was hanging out it was because you had um two yeah the tails of your shirt were how at the back it was hanging out. No, at the front. Oh, for God's sake. Someone should have told me. What's happened to wardrobe? You see television now.

They won't spend the money. Although, can I say, the majority of... Most of the comments I saw... Yes. ...said people complaining about Frank Skinner's shirt being out. Like, that's the worst thing the Royal Family's had to worry about this year. Well, there you are. There's been worse things hanging out than that um yeah every cloud they should be thinking oh okay i think most people were pro skinner

on the shirt how does that become a trending thing someone's shirt i think i think people see it and then just discuss it and then it gets snowballed from there, if you will. Do you recall, I mean, had you been to visit the Latrine perhaps? Bear in mind, I got to the theatre at about half past eight that morning and then just hanging around. So I'm not a person who turns up with a suit bag i turn up in what i'm gonna wear on stage yes that's the best way of carrying clothes i've always found so obviously i've been sitting around talking to contortionists and

dancing girls for about 12 hours morning cath so, what can I say? I was less focused on your shirt and more focused on the first-class material. Oh, well, there you go. Of the shirt? Yeah. Sort of an Egyptian cotton, isn't it? Lovely shirt. No, but you were trending.

It was the only new material I got out that day. Could have done with a bit of a clean, though. But I don't know why. Is it just when one's in front of the royal family you should tuck your shirt in maybe just i think the idea was that everyone puts their sort of sunday best on yeah well i was in a suit i mean what do they want yeah also surely you know some of the things old people wear i wasn't wearing like um Also, surely, you know... Look at some of the things old people wear. I wasn't wearing, like, smart trousers, but with, like, you know, those elastic sort of shoes.

I wasn't wearing those. Or those sort of weatherproof... I think they have chains on them for the snow. Have you seen those? There's a lot of people in ripped jeans on there. And that's all right. On the RVP. I know, I mean, for goodness sake. Have you seen those? For people in ripped jeans? And that's alright. On the RVP. Ripped jeans.

You know what, I think it's a slight hangover from a slight four-lock tugging attitude towards the upper class. And I don't think you need to have that. At least we can safely establish that that's faded away. The best of Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio.

So, Stephen, I think not many people know that you created the first female Doctor Who. Ah, Joanna Lumley in The Curse of Fatal Death. And I think she was the 13th Doctor, wasn't she? I know, isn't that weird? That is quite weird. Yeah, yeah. I remember her being quite brilliant as well,

even though it was just for a few minutes. Yeah, no, she was really, really good as the Doctor, actually. She was really impressive, yeah. You didn't ever think of giving her the call? I gave her the call when I was actually running the show. You know, it would have worked, it would have worked. Well, she had a good sci-fi pedigree, of course, because she was in Sapphire and Steel.

Yes, which I had never seen a frame of. You are kidding, it was brilliant Yeah, I know, people keep telling me I'd really love it and I've well there's so many box sets now, I'm not going to live long enough to see all the television that's been made, television needs to stop and let people catch up. That's a great idea. It's full

television is full. Just hit the pause button on making stuff. Yeah I'm not sure that was a smart move for me to make Okay, i've actually ended television the only place that employs me i worked out that um i've got enough pencils to to last me the rest of my life was that uh was that a lively evening it was a lovely christmas can i can i say by the, in the subject of housekeeping,

that Dracula is on over three nights. It's on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd of January at 9pm on BBC One. And there ain't 90 minutes. That's right. That's a lot of drac. Is it true the whole project started as a joke when there was a photograph and it looked like Dracula yeah the photograph

of Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes framed in a window with his collar up which of course he always had his collar up and Mark showed it to Ben Stevenson

who was head of drama at the time and said oh look it's Dracula and Ben immediately said oh do you want to do it and with a turn of speed that does not...

Can I say the rest of us don't get offers like that? No, we did not. It was a joke. And that was 2011 or something, a long time ago. And we were far too lazy to respond to something like that. So it was many years later. I got so jealous reading that, because we make jokes on this show every week, and I don't think any of them have led to any work.

Well, it's the only joke we make that ended up as a TV show. I mean, some of my TV shows ended up as jokes. That's a different thing. Simply not true. I can't stand by and have that said. Can I ask you a question about Doctor Who? I thought you were Mummy. My favourite character was in Mummy on the Orient.

I wasn't good at that. So embarrassing. When you were writing Doctor Who, did you feel... It's embarrassing. Did you feel that you were writing a children's programme? I think fundamentally, yeah. But I have strong views on what children like on television, so I don't think children's television is childish. I think fundamentally, yeah. But I have strong views on what children like on television,

so I don't think children's television is childish. And I think a children's programme that doesn't appeal to adults is a very silly idea. You know, of course it should. And of course, I mean, what's Star Wars about a bunch of kids' films? Of course it is. And that's why we love them. What are superhero movies? What, really? We actually think Spider-Man's a real person? No, we never grew out of children.

Great children's stories appeal to children and adults. The failing of adult shows is that they only appeal to adults. He said while promoting Dracula. So let's just rewind that. At 9pm, remember, on BBC One. Watch your kids. Emily, whenever I mention Doctor Who often reprimands me by saying

yes, that's a kid's show I believe. No, I don't have any problems with that. I think it's more to do with the fact that I grew up with a lot of the Doctor Who cast in the 70s because there were actors coming in and out. What an extraordinary way to be brought out. No, no.

Were they selected for that reason? OK, let me explain to you. How was Roger Delgado? No, I couldn't see these monsters because I saw them smoking cigarettes in our front room and having wine. Do you see what I mean? I have a remarkable image of Cybermen sprawled

around your room babysitting. It was a bit like that. It was a bit like that. So, yes, but that's the only reason I would say that. And also, I know Frank is such a huge fan of yours. around your room babysitting it was a bit like that it was a bit like that so yes but that's the only reason I would say that and also Frank is such a huge fan

of yours though I mean I don't think I've ever seen don't embarrass me well you've already done that yourself let me ask you about Doctor Who

I think I've hidden that quite well you seem impervious to embarrassment Frank well I'm pretty good with it yeah I embrace it I think that's the secret.

The best of Frank Skinner. Absolute Radio.