The Gargle - Aquarium | Toxic spinach | Snake clitoris

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

Jay Foreman and James Colley join host Alice Fraser for episode 93 of The Gargle, the weekly topical comedy podcast from The Bugle - with no politics! 🐡 Exploded aquarium🥬 Toxic spinach🐦 Twitter latest 🐍 Snake clitoris⛄️ ReviewsProduced by Ped Hunter and Chris Skinner.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels

or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.

Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com This is a podcast from The Bugle. aggressive personal trainers since 1743. Don't ask whether we had phones then, you'll just embarrass yourself. We didn't, but we made do. It was more sort of a whispering hole in those days. Anyway, your call is important to us, though let us be very clear, not important enough to actually pick up the phone until we've determined what you want from us

and what we can get out of you in exchange. For high-volume body shaming, press 1. For helpful vibe plus passive-aggressive motivation, press 2. For a trainer who'll cry at you until you finish your push-ups, press 3. For all other needs, please hold and we will transfer you to The Gargle. Hello, this is The Gargle, the sonic glossy magazine to the Bugles audio newspaper for Visual World. I'm your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine are James Colley and Jay Foreman. Welcome.

Hello. G'day. I mean, hello. How are you? Oh, I didn't know you'd be asking how I was. Yeah, I'm all right, thank you. Not so bad. Cold. That's the main thing I am, is I'm cold. We had snow this week in London, and even though the snow has now melted away, my bones are still taking some time to heal. In Australia, it is what we would call cold, but by that I mean it's sometimes not OK to hang out at the beach for more than about half an hour because you get a bit chilly.

It's hell. I'm so jealous. Before we put our hands in mittens and build the snowman that is this week's top story, let's have a look at the front cover of the magazine. The front cover this week is beautiful, perfect Meghan Markle, who is the saint of all the angels and a glorious ballerina covered in fairies, posing back-to-back with evil, deranged Meghan Markle, who wants to eat the remains of the Queen while cackling about successfully and single-handedly overthrowing the English monarchy

using only the power of her even white teeth and sinister American sex appeal. If you were her, wouldn't you drop somewhere in the Netflix series that you killed the queen? Like just in passing, just be like, yeah, no, I never felt welcome. Even when I just killed her, people were always mad at me. I mean, I feel like her problem essentially is that she's just an American actor. And I have a friend who's an American actor who will take both your hands and stare into your eyes and as a friend say I love you so much and I really value you and as an Australian direct descendant of the British culture of like stuffing all your feelings down the feeling hole and then conquering somewhere else with that compressed

coal of fuel it's a very upsetting thing to face I just don't think the UK was ready for that. Isn't it nicer to be told have a nice day by someone who doesn't mean it than fuck off by someone who does? I'm worried that this documentary is going to lead to yet more documentaries, because I noticed that one of the highlights was Harry and Meghan sitting down watching their Oprah interview, because that was such a seminal moment for them. And surely, you know, this Netflix documentary is part of that story too, so we have to see like a reaction video to the reaction video and so on. Sorry, when you say seminal, do you mean like important,

or do you mean covered in jeers? That's a pronunciation thing. The satirical cartoon this week is Piers Morgan and Jeremy Clarkson having a froth-off, which is a competition for who can create the most spitty mouth froth while talking about a woman neither of them really knows. Now it's time for your top story. Top story this week is in hospitality news.

This is the news that a giant hotel aquarium has exploded. This was sent to us by Abdo and it's exactly what it sounds like. James Colley, you've recently exploded showering the lobby of yourself with fish. Can you unpack this story? Well, this is a huge loss for the Radisson Hotel in Berlin, a huge win for the Berlin Christmas seafood markets. There has been the world's largest indoor aquarium, it seems, has exploded, home to 1,500 fish.

Now, I mention 1,500 fish because the article did not. It just said two people were injured, which feels like the worst kind of speciesism for me. Two people were injured and the fish probably fine. You know, there was one part of this article that said 100 first responders were called to this emergency, which did make me wonder exactly what were they doing like unless you're the fire brigade firing more water on these fish like what are you an ambulance is showing up and giving them mouth to mouth that's just putting more oxygen in the fish you're making the problem even worse so i don't know exactly how they plan

to solve this issue of a fish tank exploding and fish being everywhere. It sounds honestly terrific and would be the highlight of my trip to any hotel. But 400 guests had to be transported to another hotel, presumably in little plastic freezer bags filled with water. All the water is now underground, which itself is a worrying development because if you know your history living underground in berlin already had a close to 100 fatality rate so it's dangerous enough without adding flooding to the issue and my favorite line in this article is this presently police do not consider it a criminal act i don't i love the idea that either this is a fish heist, where they thought about how to get into the tank,

but not about anything else that happened after that point, or it's the shore tank redemption as the fish are trying to escape and get out of here. Either way, I'm hugely for this. It's the kind of accident that doesn't really happen in real life. It normally is reserved only for episodes of Laurel and Hardy where they've been given the job to clean the fish tank and they're in so much trouble. James, this is not a criminal act.

This is the third act of a James Bond movie. This is the thing. This is the kind of collateral damage caused only by super spies. I want to know what important diplomat was in there and his bevy of beautiful woman spy assistants. Presumably it was Octopussy, obviously. Deco Pussy in the modern age. If there's a fish-based mystery, this is a case for Sharky and George,

the crime busters of the sea. The cartoon from the 90s you think you remember, but you don't. You remember the catchiest bit of the theme tune and nothing else. My favourite bit about the story is that not all the fish died. Some of them were sort of lucky enough to be left in little pools of water And were indeed rescued And they will go on to live a long life I assume And teach their story in schools

Well unfortunately the only survivors were goldfish And about four seconds later they had no idea what had happened Something they must be very disappointed about Is that it wasn't even the biggest indoor aquarium in the world Like there was some very small print It't even the biggest indoor aquarium in the world. Like there was some very small print. It was the biggest cylindrical aquarium in the world. And a fact like that makes you imagine, oh, I guess that must be a category of aquarium that experts care about. You know, all the other cylindrical aquariums around the world must be so sore that they weren't number one.

But, you know, like I'm not interested in any kind of superlative with a caveat. You know, I don't want to see the biggest in Europe or the biggest in Yorkshire. You know, it has to be the biggest in the world or it doesn't matter because throwing in a caveat can make anything sound impressive. For example, did you know that I drive the fastest car

with exactly my number plate in the world? That's interesting because Australia is the per capita leader in the world of using per capita to make statistics sound more impressive so this really resonates with me Well this is actually genuinely a tactic that I use because I hate competition but I love winning so what I like to do is define myself as narrowly as possible

and so it turns out that I'm the best me I can be at least I finished about the top three of me's This is at least now the biggest exploded aquarium in the world, surely. I think this is the great thing about this, because if you walk into the Radisson in Berlin and you see an aquarium and you say, I think that might be the world's largest cylindrical aquarium. The next thing you say is, God, I hope it explodes. Wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't it be amazing to get to see that? You've got to ask yourself what the aquarium was doing in there in the first place.

So some people thought that it was owned by the Sea Life Centre, but apparently they're next door. They share the building, but they don't run this aquarium. And I guess the hotel must have just put it in there because it's no longer impressive enough to have a fountain in the lobby. It has to be an actual aquarium with actual living, temporarily, fish. And it makes you wonder, well, what's next? What is the next Radisson Bleu going be an actual aquarium with actual living temporarily fish and it makes you wonder well what's next like you know what is the next reddish and blue going to replace this aquarium with a tiger it is so convenient to have an aquarium next door if this disaster does happen

okay everyone grab a fish and go i wonder if the aquarium next door even knew that they'd secretly like plumbed in another tank and the fish were sort of swimming under and into the more impressive aquarium in the lobby. I mean this has to be quite a traumatic experience for the fish. Fish are not meant to live in skyscrapers. Fish are not meant to be 14 stories up. It's the 14 stories down that I guess is more damaging for the fish because I'm no scientist but isn't the pressure at the bottom of the tank really big? the fish because i'm no scientist but isn't the pressure at the bottom of the tank really big that's how you measure measure pressure in bigness most of the pressure they have is to impress the guests of the hotel it's a very faulty towers fish situation but they're always trying to get that

one more star for the radisson a crack is appearing in the glass of this story because now it's time for your ads your ad section now because you can't be what you can't buy. And this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Christmas, the Christmas of holidays. You've seen that thing where you can be a nominal lord of some square metreage of Scotland? You've seen that thing where you're allowed to name a star, ostensibly? In each instance, it's a non-legally binding document

that entitles you to nothing except the erroneous claim to a sort of liminal possession that can never truly be claimed. Enjoy that? Well, try NFTs. They're like your granny buying you a star, but they're on the blockchain, so for as long as computers last, the public record will forever hold the record of you being a chump. Of you being a chump. Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephen When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even Brightly shone the moon that night, though the frost was cruel When a poor man came in sight, gathering winter fuel Hear the page and stand by me, if thou know'st it telling

Yonder peasant, who is he, where and what his dwelling. Sahi lives a good league hence with his son and daughter, right against the forest fence, drinking half a glass of water. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era.

Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of'd like to forget. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Now it's time for your toxic spinach news now. The healthy food turns out to be an evil food, as we knew it was all along. This is the Australian news that we're not allowed to eat spinach anymore. Jay Foreman, you're the one person here who isn't in Australia. Can you unpack this story for us? I think everybody who read this story immediately thought the same thing, which was...

So 62 people across Australia have needed medical care after eating some baby spinach bought from costco saying that they've experienced delirium spiked heart rates blurred vision and hallucinations and i reckon the spinach board if there is such a thing in australia must be absolutely over the moon about this because 99.9999 of spinach leaves sold are not affected by this so all it's done is just make us all talk about spinach i think in the last 30 seconds i've just quintupled my annual thinking about spinach quota and spinach lest we forget is a very famously difficult thing to convince children to eat it's a difficult thing to convince me to eat i hate spinach because it comes in these enormous packages that you have to carefully

balance on top of your shopping so it doesn't get squished it stays in date for about three minutes before it goes off and smells of soap. You have to wash it in a salad spinner, which means you have to wash your salad spinner, which takes two hours. You pile it all up in the saucepan and it wilts to the size of a small raisin and it doesn't even taste of anything. So if there's a recipe that requires spinach,

it has to be f***ing worth it. And if it gives you hallucinations, maybe I'll make a dal. Maybe it'll be worth it. Well, I mean, as with so many spinach issues, this is a smaller issue than it first appears. You think it's a big issue and you boil it down. It's actually a comparatively small issue, which is the entry into the spinach supply of a weed. James? So first thing to clarify is there is an Australian spinach board and it is

very prestigious. The only thing harder to get into than a baggy green is the greenie bags we love our spinach here or as we now call it the devil's lettuce i felt very patriotic about this news partly because it was funny enough that the hallucinogenic spinach was announced that we have to be careful of this spinach but that and also it was um spinach at a costco and we have to be very clear no one in the country shops at a costco it just does not particularly happen but um there are about three i can think of in the continent and no one goes there but well the only people who go to shop at costco are preppers and they're already hallucinating. You're on something. Is Costco the same in Australia as here where you have to sort of pretend you're a small business owner to be able to get through the door? Yes. Yeah. So the only people getting these hallucinations are

fraudsters in the first place. And the thing I loved about this though is not only did they have to put out an alert that the spinach is contaminated and will cause you to hallucinate, they had to put out a second alert that said do not go and seek out this spinach now which is a beautiful microcosm of the australian population that we're like this vegetable will get you high don't no don't don't do not do and then they had to go really dead like a lot of the announcement afterwards were like look it's not going to be fun it It's going to make you very sick. Please stop trying to eat this bad spinach. This is going to result in two things.

There's going to be a generation of Australian teenagers doing Popeye. And it's going to make that TV show that everyone really loves over here, Australian Border Control, even more popular. People trying to sneak spinach over the border. Yes, this is the worst version of Footloose where just a bunch of rebellious teens sit around and eat a salad. I swear to my friends, pesto. I don't even eat pesto.

Now it's time for your reviews. As you know, each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars. Jay, what have you brought for us this week? I would like to review my first ever snowman. So it's been my trump card if I ever play a game of never have I ever is I have never built a snowman and it's because I'm a very unlucky age for snow I was born in 1984 in London which means I have never missed a day of school for snow it didn't really snow in the 90s apart from one time and I wasn't allowed to go out and enjoy it because I was grounded for cutting my sister's

hair but I was five and my parents left the scissors with me it's their fault anyway all that changed on Monday because we had some snow and I had nothing else to do uh so this was my wife's idea she claims it was for our son but our son is only five months old and he is exactly as impressed by snow as he is by spinach so it was for her really uh and my wife and I took turns holding our son in the hallway with the front door open so he could see what was going on, which meant the snowman

was about one metre from our front door, which means no one could even see it. I'd lost my gloves, so I did it with a marigold on my left hand and the inside of my coat sleeve on my right hand. I was in charge of rolling the big bits for his body, so I got carried away and he ended up with a massive body and tiny head.

We had to borrow a carrot from the neighbor which was mortifying and when we took the obligatory photo it had gone dark and blurry and i look really miserable so calculating the star rating with a quick pros cons list uh cons it's in the way of the door i had freezing cold hands my scarf and hat were out of service for the duration of the snowman. I had to talk to my neighbour. It was a waste of a carrot. But pro, aw, it's a snowman. So my rating for my first snowman is four stars,

but reads like a three. I only know snowmen from, like, Frosty the Snowman, and I would always be like, what an existentially upsetting story that is that because frosty seems fairly aware he's going to die as soon as the sun comes out and it really takes all the joy from that story for me i mean it's very easy come easy go isn't it he's got a laissez-faire attitude towards life in australia do you ever watch the british festive tradition the snowman the film from the 80s that we have on channel 4 every year no it's the raymond briggs story it's this beautifully drawn like very very

iconic and really cute story about a little boy whose snowman comes to life and he dies at the end it's a really traumatic horrible melty death and every year we show it to our children so i have heard i've heard this frosty the snowman has now been retconned as they say that now they say to children that they shouldn't worry about frosty because he goes up into the sky and then he is reincarnated as rain or snow he comes back down as snow the next year um which seems to me far less reassuring than a clean death. That's much worse. That's terrifying. Yeah, that's like the transporter accident that never ends.

He's just up in the sky, sort of inchoate particles, occasionally bumping into each other in brief moments of terrified sentence until he reforms. If you tell this story to children, it means that they're not just going to cry every time a snowman melts. They're going to cry every time it rains rain is the rain is the like is the masturbatory experience that doesn't form and it never what where was that going if snow gives birth to frosty rain is like jizzing into a sock it doesn't go anywhere uh james what have you brought in for us to review?

Well similarly I brought in a Christmas themed thing which is I want to re-review Miracle on 34th Street. Now I'm not interested in reviewing this as a film. That's boring to me. There were two things I needed to review about this. The first was that I got into

quite a long argument with a friend over the last few weeks who was convinced that at the end of Miracle on 34th Street, Santa Claus died, which to me is one of the more insane possible endings for a Christmas movie. Frosty is bad enough to be like, all right, and we have ruled that Santa is real,

and by the way, he's dead now. Happy Christmas, kids. To be fair, that is the beginning of the Tim Allen film, Santa Claus. That's true. He didn't die. He went up into smoke and now he's rangers and everything's okay, kids. No further questions. But I also wanted to review the legal case here.

Now, I know it's a practice, legal reviews. I want to go back through and here now i know it's a practice legal reviews i want to go back through and see their methodology of it and may i say they get very distracted very early on this case because the case does become is santa claus we real not did this old man club someone in the head on the street in broad daylight which i have to say is a fairly open and shut case by my review of the footage. Really seems like he beat a guy on the street, but you get to the end of the case and he's like, well, this child has circled in God we trust on a bill, so therefore the centre is real and everything's fine. You know what? Go out there and do a couple more assaults.

You've bloody earned it, Saint Nick. I would say five stars. Great legal precedent. Now it's time for our free speech news. Turns out you can slash can't say anything anymore, depending on who you're saying it to and whether that person is Elon Musk. I feel sort of guilty about having given you this story two days ago because the news has changed so quickly since then. Musk has banned and then reinstated journalists on Twitter. He's run a poll saying you this story two days ago because the the news has changed so quickly since then not musk has banned and then reinstated journalists on twitter he's run a poll saying that he would abide by the results of the popular vote as to whether he should resign as ceo and then he said he wouldn't resign and then he said he would resign if he could find someone stupid enough to take the job that he paid

44 billion dollars for james you're constantly bullied on Twitter. Can you unpack this story for us? Yeah, actually, you know, I have quite a bit in common in this sense. I resent having to know what is happening at Twitter. Like I go there all the time, but I don't want to know how it's operating. It's like, do you know when they put the calorie counts on the McDonald's menu and you go in now and you're like, do you think I'm here because this is healthy? Do you think I'm here because this is doing good things inside of me? I'm here because I hate myself. That is why I walk through these doors. Allow me to serve my business. This is how I feel about this. I don't need to know what features he's working on. I'm going to destroy my brain on

that garbage it's fine just leave it be the only part of this that has made it worthwhile for me is knowing that the person running twitter is having as bad a time on twitter as i'm having it was like i know we don't do politics here but it was very similar to when they made trump president and the one part that was very enjoyable about it was how much he clearly hated the job because the job of any of these major things is having a lot of people not like you when all you did was pay $44 billion

for people to kind of find you funny, maybe. That didn't work. So I really enjoy this. I feel like it's like if Sisyphus brought the rock. If he had gone up to his local hardware store and went, give me the biggest rock and ramp you have. And you know what? I'm just going to work on this for a while because I think it would be good for me. Jay? It's a bit rich coming from Elon Musk, and the pun is intended, to suspend journalists for the crime of unfavourable reporting because there was a tweet from Elon himself and I'm not going to quote it exactly because I couldn't be bothered

to go back through his horrible archive but it was along the lines of oh look at me I'm Elon Musk and I'm all like I'm more than happy to have shit thrown at me because free speech is really good and you can quote me on that because I'm Elon Musk and his claim was the reason that he suspended those journalists is because they were doxing him. So I think he's fundamentally misunderstood what doxing is. What actually happened was these journalists were referring to there's a now blocked ex-Twitter account called ElonJet that takes publicly available information from flight control and tells you where Elon Musk's private jet is at any given time. So Elon claimed this account broke the rules because it made him feel unsafe because someone could do harm to his son. Now, two things there. One,

what about all the other people who feel unsafe because of how they're treated on Twitter, but they have to suck it because free speech? And two, if any dastardly people wanted to do harm to Mini Musk, they'd be the sort of people to plan it in advance and put the effort in and use the already publicly available flight control info. sent a twitter poll asking the world to vote on whether to reinstate the journalist who docked him he's misunderstood what doxing is doxing is when you publicly reveal someone's personal information such as their address or phone number so right if i was to come on this podcast and say alice's address is 17 sydney street sydney s1d ney australia i'm guessing that's how australian addresses work that would be doxing can we can we bleep that

if i was to come on the podcast and say hey have you seen that photo alice tweeted of herself holding up a piece of paper saying oh look at me i'm alice fraser and my address is 17 sydney street and so on that's not doxing that's taking something already publicly available and making it still publicly available. Do you know something I had a real problem with with this story was when he was talking about the supposed doxing of his son. He referred to his son as Little X

and it took me a long while to work out he wasn't being weirdly protective of Little Nas X. And I was kind of on his side for a bit like yeah why are people harassing Lil Nas X? He's funny. I like his songs. Leave him alone.

Well, in this instance, somebody did hassle his son, or at least the car that his son was in, which the person presumed to have Elon Musk in it. But it was a... Bad assumption. You think Elon Musk would be anywhere near any of his children is a terrible assumption to start with.

Look, I don't know anything about it. I read an article once where it said he was quite close to his children, but I assume that also he could pay for that article. So I don't know one way or the other what relationship Elon Musk has to his children. What I do know is he's doing this thing of like iterate quickly and break things and that's like a really cool thing, except when the things have people in it. It's really bad to roll the dice on new, cool programs

when the program you're running is, for example, a self-driving car or a social network that many people's livelihoods depend on. I do think nothing of this saga has made me at any point say, we need to give this guy a rocket. Like, none of it's just like, you know what? Go for it. I want to give you the largest explosive we can find

and I'm sure you'll sort it out from there. And now it's time for sexy snake news. This is the news that was sent in to us by every single roving reporter that has ever existed in contribution to the gargle. It's the news that snakes have clitorises, that scientists have discovered that snakes have clitorises, they have found the snake clitoris,

and they found out, too, that there are two snake clitorises. Jay Foreman, you've found a snake clitoris. Can you unpack this story for us? I mean, for me, it's surprising enough that snakes have any organs at all because I always imagined that snakes are kind of like a viennetta where no matter where you slice them, the inside just looks the same all the way down and you don't want to eat it. I also...

I like to imagine that the scientist who was looking for the snake's clitoris was like a young male teenager just like feeling around for ages while the snake's going, no, no, that's not it. No it nope keep going i also think it surely has to be pronounced clitoris this research was fascinating it included a series of photos frankly i was there for the articles but it was interesting that they included that um an important part of this study apparently is that uh they're trying to understand that there have been an inherent bias in the studying of genitalia in the animal kingdom in fact the article about this discovery goes to great lengths to point out all the things we know about snake penises and it turns

out we know a lot about snake penises and i would say frankly a suspicious amount about snake penises too much about snake penises to the point that were i at the snake penis lab and one day i shall be i would be saying fellas i reckon we've learned all we can here i think we've done our job anyone know of a disease we can cure i don't i feel we've gotten this like this, this is a great discovery. Fantastic. All right, you're all out of the job now. Find anything else to do. The only part of this I do like is that I think this is actually the knowledge you get from eating the apple in the Garden of Eden. And that's why the snake was so insistent that you try it.

It's like, please, please, God, have a bit of this apple. I need someone to work this out for me and then chat to my husband i reckon when a snake when a male snake gets aroused it turns completely hard like a baguette and you could smack it on stuff this is what we need to be studying at the snake penis labs who's funding research into snake genitalia and is there any sort of practical use that we could you know having discovered everything we can about the innards of a snake you know what else could we use that to learn about imagine the day that you have to go back to the person who gave you the grant and say like good news worked out exactly how to make a snake cum. I thought you were on the coronavirus.

And that brings us to the end of this week's episode. So flipping through the ads at the back, James, have you got anything to plug? If you are in Australia, you can check out Question Everything and Gruen on ABC iView. And as always, as we say at the end of every episode if you aren't in Australia go f*** yourself. Jay what have you got to plug? You can find me on my YouTube channel Jay Foreman. I'm also on Twitter at Jay Foreman and am I

allowed to say I'm on Master Don or am I going to get blocked? I am Alice Fraser find me online at at alliterative on Twitter and Instagram that's A-L-I-T-E-R A-T-I-V-E-R-A-T-I-V-E. And you can also find me at patreon.com slash alicefraser. That is a one-stop shop for all of my stand-up specials, which you can get there for free.

All of them. Stand-up specials, podcasts, blogs, and my weekly Tea with Alice salons, as well as my weekly writers' meetings. And a big thank you to this week's roving reporters, Abdo, who sent in the exploded aquarium story, Finn O'Driscoll, who sent in the hallucinogenic spinach story. And literally everyone who sent in the snake clitoris story.

It's like very, very hard to find a snake clitoris. Very, very easy to find a million people telling me about a snake clitoris. It was sent in by all the snakes who were begging someone. Can we make sure everyone's heard about this? If you'd like to be a roving reporter on The Gargle, tweet us at HelloGogglers with the things that you think are funny. This is a Bugle podcast and Alice Fraser production.

Your editor is Ped Hunter. Your executive producer is Chris Skinner. I'll talk to you again next week. You can listen to other programs from The Bugle, including The Bugle, Catharsis, Tiny Revolutions, Top Stories,

and The Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts.