The Gargle - Ayahuasca speech | Kebab prices | Zombie cicadas

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

Lewis Hobba and Craig Quartermaine join host Alice Fraser for episode 157 of The Gargle. All of the news, with none of the politics.😵‍💫 Ayahuasca speech 🥙 Kebab prices🦟 Zombie ...cicadas🥛 Raw milk  🍝 ReviewsWatch on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@BuglePodcastStory 1: https://nypost.com/2024/05/09/us-news/osu-commencement-speaker-chris-pan-defends-viral-speech-he-wrote-on-ayahuasca/Story 2: https://www.theguardian.com/world/article/2024/may/07/germans-grill-olaf-scholz-over-soaring-cost-of-doner-kebabsStory 3: https://thehill.com/homenews/nexstar_media_wire/4627259-zombie-like-fungus-could-turn-cicadas-into-saltshakers-of-death-this-summer-experts/Story 4: https://www.latimes.com/environment/story/2024-05-12/raw-milk-enthusiasts-uncowed-by-bird-flu-risk-in-dairyWritten by Alice Fraser, Lewis Hobba and Craig QuartermaineProduced by Ped Hunter, with executive production from Chris Skinner.HOW TO SUPPORT THE GARGLE- Keep The Gargle alive and well by joining Team Bugle with a one-off payment, or become a Team Bugler or Super Bugler to receive extra bonus treats!https://www.thebuglepodcast.com/donate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, it's producer Chris from The Bugle here. Did you know that I have a new series of my podcast, Richie Firth Travel Hacker, out now? It's the show where Richie Firth and I talk about how to make travel better in our very special way. In this series, we discuss line bikes, Teslas, the London overground, and a whole bunch of other random stuff that possibly involves wheels
Starting point is 00:00:22 or tracks or engines of some variety. God, what a hot sell this is. I mean, you must be so excited. Listen now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget. Broomgate, available now. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.
Starting point is 00:01:20 Acast.com. This is a podcast from The Bugle. The Gargle, the sonic glossy magazine to Bugle's audio newspaper for a visual world. I'm your host, Alice Fraser, and your guest editors for this week's edition of the magazine are Lewis Hobber. Hello, what a pleasure to be with you, Alice. That was such a professional radio response. Was it too much? I'm almost like, that's your job. No, no, it was good. It just upgraded the professionalism level of this podcast by about 40%, I feel. Thank you. I actually have an um compression for my own voice uh it's like part cold part just
Starting point is 00:02:30 eq right in the throat sliding dials before every show uh that's just one for the editors no not everyone's gonna get that one and craig quatermain okay OK, mind you, Alice, how are you doing? I'm very well and happy to talk to you. Before we put our hands on each other's shoulders and engage in the slightly creepy massage circle that is this week's top stories, let's have a look at the front cover of the magazine. The front cover this week is the portal between Dublin and New York.
Starting point is 00:03:05 It's been shut down, if you know, but now it just shows a blank screen. Well, it's not the same as a blank screen. If you stare into it, you can see stars in the distance, and if you look long enough, you realise the stars are not the stars of this planet, and occasionally there's a whisper of movement, and you keep wanting to take a step closer to the portal and put your hand against the screen, but you worry that if you reach out, your hand might go through the place where the screen ought to be.
Starting point is 00:03:26 And if the screen isn't there, why does that look like a reflection? Maybe that's not your hand reaching back. And the satirical cartoon this week is the Grand Vizier of the Kingdom of Predator Perverts, Andrew Tate, facing himself in a mirror and going, you are beautiful, you are loved, as a single tear runs down his cheek. Now it's time for our top story, top story, ayahuasca speech. And this is the news that a speaker at The Ohio University wrote his speech apparently on hallucinogens and was surprised
Starting point is 00:04:03 that it was responded to unfavourably. Lewis Hobber, you write all of your speeches in an altered state. Can you unpack this story for us? Oh, yeah, this spoke to me. I was like, for a second, I thought I was reading a story about myself. And then I was like, and then my ayahuasca wore off. And I was like, no, it's just another guy. Thank God. I've actually given a commencement speech like this before. And the idea of doing it either on ayahuasca or having written it like on ayahuasca just like terrifies me. It is like to have like tens of thousands of eyes of like hungry students who also just want to get the out of there and get drunk because they just got their degrees. Like the idea of doing a bad job, just like it actually gives me,
Starting point is 00:04:46 makes me feel a bit sick. But I do, I actually like it. I like it for this guy. Like how many times have you sat through speeches like this? They're the same thing every time. Oh, get out there, make mistakes, live your life. Oh, you'll make it in the end. Like this was crazy.
Starting point is 00:05:02 This is the kind of thing that people will get together in groups of students in 10 years and they'll talk about this guy. They'll never forget this guy. And I think every uni should book him. I think he should be doing a college tour and on each tour he should have to write his speech on a different drug. I think it should be, you know, like there's all that poster that gets put around where every spider like
Starting point is 00:05:23 weaves its web on a different drug. Have you ever seen that poster? Are you sure you've seen that poster? Did you just imagine that poster? Look, there was this time where I saw inside myself and I was a spider and I was doing a great job. This is like a classic like uni style poster. No, I had quite a sheltered childhood. I wasn't allowed to look at posters.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Oh, really? Okay. Well, in my childhood, like I had quite a sheltered childhood. I wasn't allowed to look at posters. Oh, really? Okay, well, in my childhood, like, I had drugs with my parents, so it was a very different upbringing. But I think, like, we know what he does on Ayahuasca, right? He talks about Bitcoin and everyone boos him. But, like, imagine a guy just getting up there high on cocaine and just, like, pitching restaurant ideas and getting everyone in the crowd to join his new podcast
Starting point is 00:06:06 or just getting like, he could do it on weed and just never turn up. He could do it on MDMA and just individually hug every single student in the crowd one by one, sweaty, tell them he loves them. I think we've just scratched the surface of the possibility of this guy. I mean, it sounds delightful.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Craig, would you have been inspired by the call to arms to buy Bitcoin as an, I think, quote, undervalued asset class? I was on the back foot with this particular article because I read it as I wrote his speech on a Hayabusa and I was like, it's on a motorbike, who gives a shit? But then I realised what it was and i can't do cringe when people send me these videos and say hey watch this i get about five seconds in and the minute he started singing four non-blondes was it four non-blondes no yeah it was just yeah
Starting point is 00:06:56 i i can't my stomach turns in on itself but i but from a stand-up point of view i'd loved his his stage presence and his technique. I'm quite a huge fan on turning on the crowd, especially if you haven't won them over. You're like, you know what's going to get these university students on side? Telling them about Bitcoin. This is really going to win them over. This is my big closer. What I think is extraordinary about this is he doesn't claim that he performed the speech on any drugs so he wrote this on ayahuasca and then he fully committed while sober yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:07:31 yeah i wrote this in this state it has to be genius when i say it straight yeah absolutely i also think like the the whole point of ayahuasca is like you sit down with the shame and if no one's ever heard of it you know it's there's supposed to be this like ancient ritual that strips your ego and takes layer and layer of masks that we wear until it is just the core of you left. Can you imagine realizing that you at your core suck that much? Like the real you, the real true you is a f**kwit. At the heart of you. He's the sort of guy that sends the invoice like the next day, regardless of how it went.
Starting point is 00:08:12 That's the sort of dude. That's the sort of, yeah, look I got from him. Yeah, I love that idea that deep at the heart of you when all of your fragile illusions are shattered and you see into the core of your humanity and the deep, deep core of your humanity goes, Bitcoin is an undervalued asset class. It's so amazing because also I was quite curious about him because I was like, oh, obviously he got invited back to his college to speak.
Starting point is 00:08:38 Like he must be, you know, pretty good at what he does. I was a bit curious to find out what his skill set was. No, Craig? You think if I've done it anyone could do it well as somebody who gave the the last graduating speech for his high school before um it changed its name i can tell you for a fact that several people have to fall over before you're invited so no no no this dude could have been he absolutely no credibility whatsoever like when you just need to fill a gap, yeah, you'd be surprised who can turn up for those sort of gigs. And he's just come down.
Starting point is 00:09:11 He's written this masterpiece on ayahuasca. He's like, this is my moment. No, no, no. Yeah, I don't think this dude had anywhere near enough talent. Tell us, Lewis, you've done some journalism. Oh, well, first of all, Craig, I'd love to know what you or your school changed its name to after your speech. It was like Craig Quatermain never went here high school.
Starting point is 00:09:33 They changed it from a name synonymous with ethnic people to something very different to get more people to attend the school. Yes. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mary Booker Senior High School is now North Dianella College. Unbelievable. We did it, Australia.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Yeah, well done. It leads off by going his company, it's so vague. His company pushes for meaningful conversations and positive actions. But also... Oh, so his company does ayahuasca. Is that... His company is like meaningful conversations, positive actions, and the third strain to their business is customizable bracelets.
Starting point is 00:10:20 So media consultancy, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen somebody on LinkedIn refer to themselves as professional communicator. This is actual, yeah, these are roles and these are, yeah, absolutely, sure there's a degree in it. As a professional communicator, that makes me sick. Your ad section now, because you can't be what you can't buy.
Starting point is 00:10:44 And are you an imaginary friend? Are you sick of being summoned and dismissed at the whims of a literal child? You may be eligible to collect a payout from a recent class action lawsuit. Check us on Instagram at fairycarelawyers.com. And this episode of the podcast is brought to you by Eileen, the girl who gets you. Eileen is a new fully robot AI girlfriend who will behave exactly like a real woman does. We've scraped all of the data about what a woman is from the internet,
Starting point is 00:11:13 so good f***ing luck with that. She has the body of a Boston Dynamics murder dog in a wig and slightly mismatched eyeballs glued to a Mission Impossible Tom Cruise mask. Her vagina's called the Uncanny Valley and she will do incredibly sex-like things during sex. Terms and conditions apply. Eileen may at any moment hallucinate a new and distorted way of being
Starting point is 00:11:31 as an extrapolation of the data just to keep things interesting. Some large-language model female girlfriends may not be murdering you proofed as they are still in beta. If you are murdered by your Eileen, please talk to our helpline chatbot on the website. Made in a factory that also processes nuts, milk and half a glass of water. Eileen, let yours get you today. Would you buy one?
Starting point is 00:11:51 I'm in. I loved every minute of that, even the death. I was like, f*** it, let's roll the dice. I was writing down the website. I reckon I've watched more of those Boston Dynamics videos than I have porn, so I think it was right up my alley. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Every sport has their big, juicy controversy. Boxing has the Mike Tyson ear bite. Cycling has Lance Armstrong. Baseball has its steroid era. Curling has... Broomgate. It's a story of broken relationships, houses divided, corporate rivalry, and a performance-enhancing broom. It was a year I'd like to forget.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Broomgate. Available now. performance enhancing broom it was a year i'd like to forget broom gate available now a-cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere a-cast.com And Donner Kebab news now. And this is the news that the German population have been unified, this time for a positive cause, in demanding that Chancellor Olaf Scholz put a cap on the soaring price of Donner Kebabs. Craig Quartermain, I've met you late at night in the search for doner kebab. Can you unpack this story for us? I mean, of the people I was expecting to defend
Starting point is 00:13:30 ethnic food, I have to say I was blindsided. But this is definitely a cause I think we can unite behind as far as the immense power and respect that the German country in the European, well, formerly European Union. I can't keep track of whether it still exists anymore. But Germany is absolutely a leader. So yeah, it's huge for them to step up and defend. I don't know if it's a great use of resources, especially right now, but I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:59 There's a part of it like, let's prioritize it. Let's not make sure it gets affected too much. But what drug are you taking when you platform this in Parliament? When you're like, this is going to be my agenda. This is the thing I have to push forward first thing in the morning. Then they ask if there's any business at hand. I think it's coming from their equivalent of the Greens, right? I know this is not a politics podcast,
Starting point is 00:14:22 but I'm pretty sure they're the ones who are bringing it forward. And I'm like, that checks out. Yeah. I mean, it also checks out, I think, as a kind of, it's not just the doner kebab. It's the doner kebab as a symbol of rising inflation levels and cost of living crises. But I think, you know, man cannot live on doner kebabs alone.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Please don't send me emails about this. I'm sure you personally have lived on doner kebabs alone, listener. But generally one requires a more varied diet. Apparently they've surged the price up to €10 down from €4 just two years ago. And that's shocking to me. It is nice to know what the triggering point is, like how so many middle-class Australians are doing so well. Some of us are paying $7 or $8 for a coffee and we don't blink,
Starting point is 00:15:12 even though we're still a little bit mad. But I love that somebody's willing, like the French will flip a city upside down if the price of something doubled. And I'm just, yeah, I love that there's at least one triggering point that still exists. People don't just keep swiping the card regardless of the cost or something. I'd love to know what it is for the French because it's interesting. I wouldn't have predicted if someone said,
Starting point is 00:15:30 what's the trigger in Germany? What's the thing that is going to be that? They go, no, this is the thing. Because in Australia we're having the debate about rental caps. They're like, we need to have a cap on house rentals because we're in a housing crisis. In Germany it's the kebab. I mean, inance it'd be fascinating to know what they would go with is it um is it the baguette is it the threesome i mean any of their beloved traditions
Starting point is 00:15:55 they're talking about what a 10 euro uh donna kebab that's like they're like we can't go above 10 euro that's about 16 australian dollars i live in sydney you cannot get a sandwich for under 16 dollars like i'm looking at that story going grow up grow up learn to pay what we're paying get mad over your sandwich lewis is what i'm saying we should not be rolling over so much this is the thing what's your rent ah 1200 dollars a week. Yeah, that's pretty rough. I guess I'll keep paying it. That's our attitude.
Starting point is 00:16:29 That's the problem. Whereas these guys are like, eight euro for a kebab. F*** you. F*** everything else. We're going to actually fight back. I admire this. I'm at the point with a rental crisis where I'm thinking of living in a doner kebab.
Starting point is 00:16:40 That's like where I'm at in Australia. I'd pay $1,200 a week to fold myself up in that little wrap. And that brings us to our review section. As you know, each week we ask our guest editors to bring in something to review out of five stars. Craig, what have you brought in for us this week? Keeping with
Starting point is 00:17:00 the food theme, I have gotten addicted to a YouTube channel. I'm highly rating it highly highly recommending it i know some people like to recommend stuff that they don't like i've become addicted to a channel on youtube called pasta grannies and uh it's this it's a channel with hundreds of videos where essentially they go to italy and um they interview little old ladies and they show them their homemade pasta recipes. And it's filmed so sweetly.
Starting point is 00:17:29 There's like 80, 95-year-olds to all ages. And they all make this handmade pasta in their little village. Every story is so sweet. While it's from a foodie point of view, I love it. What I love also to someone who's worked in TV, there's these little editorial cuts where i don't speak italian but you're thinking nan just said something really racist and they just kind of like there's all these little snippets this is wonderful the recipes are
Starting point is 00:17:56 great the history of the houses are wonderful but there's always just these little things you know you have to watch out for your elders in case they say something? I feel like it's happening. It's just a beautiful thing to watch. How many out of five stars? Oh, definitely four and a half. That's so good. I moved in to a share house once and the dream happened where the next door neighbour was like a beautiful sweet old italian lady and she was just
Starting point is 00:18:28 like she was just she'd moved to australia in the 70s so she like had the had the recipes from her grandma yep i was like this is gonna be absolute gold for lewis and it happened like three months in where she just knocked on my door and I was like, can you bring it? And she had a plate in her hand and I was just like, come on, Nonna, give it to me. And she gave it to me and it was the worst food I've ever eaten. And I was like, how do I get the one Nonna in all of Italy who can't cook? She'd been driven out.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Yeah, she didn't leave. They kicked her out of Italy. I realise that there are other podcasts complaining about women's cooking, but I just, in this specific instance, we want to try to lure across the on Joe Rogan fan. Yeah. I had a beautiful old nonna in my last place when I lived in Perth. Her name was Joanna and she was an amazing cook.
Starting point is 00:19:30 And very friendly. We have a lovely relationship. The thing is, right, my wife done me in. Because I can cook. I think I'm all right. But after she makes us this beautiful meal, it was like a vegetarian lasagna thing it was just stunning um and my wife goes oh craig should cook for you sometime joanna she goes yes i'd be like i've
Starting point is 00:19:51 never been more terrified to cook you know when someone can cook and you got to cook for them yeah it was the most terrifying thing i'd ever done i just made a roast and she ate it the pity in her face when she ate this. You know when someone just taps you on the shoulder and is like, you'll get them next time? I still think about how embarrassing. She was so lovely about it. It's like cooking a roast on MasterChef. The spotlights were on you.
Starting point is 00:20:18 I'm sweating now just remembering the stress of it. She was so sweet. Lewis, what have you brought in to review for us? Do you know what? I was having a think about this, and one of the things that irritates me about star reviews in general is that it only motivates fives and ones in my experience because anyone in the threes,
Starting point is 00:20:39 you don't really bother to leave like a it was fine review. But something in my life has been i think fine so i want to leave a three star review four stars because i've been spending a lot of time in the last few years well last year um i have a 16 month old baby and she doesn't like sleeping so i spent a lot of time with her in a little pouch walking around at night. And to try to, like, make her feel better about that, I'll often be like, look at the moon, look at the stars. And she can see the moon, you know, she can see the moon and go,
Starting point is 00:21:14 hello, moon, and it's adorable. But she can't see the stars. We live in the city and I just think that's not good enough, stars. I think if you're a big gas ball, if you're supposedly this big sun we're all supposed to be very impressed by, you should be able to outpower a street light in the light game. I think if you're a sun, you should be able to do better. You should be able to beat the light of a street light in the city. So I'm giving stars, three stars,
Starting point is 00:21:40 for their inability to perform in the city lights. Are your dream stars just more of the sun? My dream stars are millions of suns. I just want, like, it's not going to be good for my skin. I'm going to sizzle out there. But at least I'll be good on as suns. So three stars for stars. If you haven't seen enough mid-level meh sort of reviews,
Starting point is 00:22:04 Lewis, just look up any of my reviews for the Melbourne Comedy Festival. You should see quite a few. Twos and threes there. And that brings us to cicada news now. Apparently there is a cicada plague descending on America in the near future, not the biblical plague of locusts but a biblical plague of cicadas, some of whom are going to be diseased. Lewis Hopper, you're an expert in diseased cicadas.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Can you unpack this story for us? Yeah, I'm thrilled about this. I'm excited that Americans are about to really find out what loud is. I'm like oh you think you guys know volume you think your conversations are loud wait until you've dealt with a million f**king exploding cicadas i love cicadas obviously um if you get the right amount the right volume of a distant cicada is quite a relaxing sound but these ones um when they're like because if you don't know much about
Starting point is 00:23:05 cicadas first of all shame on you where have you been um but they spend a lot of time underground like they they do a lot of their like you know growing underground sometimes i think it's years or it's months anyway it's ages way longer than you think and it's long enough it's years yeah it's years right and it's long enough for It's years? Yeah, it's years, right? And it's long enough for them to develop a fungus now. And this fungus hacks their brain, basically. So the fungus becomes their brain. So the cicadas are no longer singing their sweet, sweet chirp chirp. They're just super horny and exploding out their genitals,
Starting point is 00:23:42 which is crazy. Like that to me, I've been to music festivals like that and I did not stick around. You think the ayahuasca speech was bad. Wait until you have a zombie cicada exploding genitals at you. Yes, basically they spend years underground. They come out cyclically. But for some reason these two massive broods of cicadas cycles have synced
Starting point is 00:24:05 and what we're about to have is the earth's biggest period of cicadas trillions trillions of cicadas which is a number so big that i don't even have the framework to conceptualize it in my head uh many of whom up to 10 of whom will have have this exploding zombie virus, fungus thing going on. So, you know, if you were planning on going as a tourist to America, let not the vast numbers of gun violence deter you, but go and embrace the zombie cicada hordes with both arms. Craig, you live in the country. How do you feel about this?
Starting point is 00:24:42 I think there's a lot of missed opportunities here as far as, like there's quite a few puns and references in this particular article. Cicada Geddon, you know, they like to throw names around. One that they missed, Beetlejizz. Why don't we go with that? Beetlejizz, Beetlejizz, Beetlejizz. I do find this really interesting to the point that, are you sentient when a fungus takes over and is controlling you?
Starting point is 00:25:08 Are you kind of in there? Are you asking this because you're trying to get off a crime? It sounds like a defense you're going through. Is it that bad? If a fungus takes over and you f*** yourself to death and come everywhere, are you kind of like, oh no, someone get this fungus off me? Or are you kind of like, let's just strap in?
Starting point is 00:25:27 I honestly feel like I'm listening to Donald Trump's lawyer in the Stormy Daniels case right now. I think he owns it a little bit too much to pretend he's got it. He's definitely got a fungus. I don't know if it's in his head. But yeah, no, it's kind of i'm really curious a bit is it the worst life for these bugs like is it extending their life is it like the last of us where they actually get another crack and they just get to um you know
Starting point is 00:25:54 a flying cum bucket whatever it is just like leaving this stuff everywhere it's nice it's i'm happy for the cicadas sounds like a way to go yeah it's not a bad life if you could synchronize it it could be quite, if you could like find out when they're all going to blow or if you find out what it is that like gets them going and you could get it into some, like you could sell tickets to that. That would be the greatest fireworks display on earth. And that brings us to our final story of today
Starting point is 00:26:23 and this is just brilliant news now for people who are writing headlines, which is that the risk of bird flu being carried in raw dairy is apparently spurring raw dairy enthusiasts into frothing milk frenzies. Lewis Hobber, you have a small child. Can you unpack this story for us? That's right. Yeah, I spend a lot of my days watching a frothing milk frenzy. I'm not involved, um, but I, I do get the front row seat. Um, yeah, so it's interesting this one. So, cause I have a couple of friends who were, um, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say that their core,
Starting point is 00:27:00 uh, function is raw milk enthusiasts, but Australia has quite strict laws about raw milk. And there was a period where they were going to change it. And it's particularly for people who love wacky cheese. Like if you're a wacky cheese enthusiast, like raw milk, you kind of need raw milk. Unpasteurized milk makes a very boring cheese. But if you want to get a little crazy, and by that I mean, you know, get bird flu um if you want to have bird flu on a cracker you have to have your milk unpasteurized sometimes so this these there's a couple of dairies that have um got basically the cows have gotten bird flu there are some cats that have been hanging around the dairy they have bird flu um which must be like to me this feels like revenge of the birds like if you're a
Starting point is 00:27:46 bird and you can kill a bunch of cats like if you can come a cut like you are taking out your apex predator and i i just think they've been working on this for a while like this feels like a strategic attack by birds to get rid of their number one enemy cats cats. And I think cows have probably, they just got caught up in the shrapnel here, although potentially it could be revenge for mad cow disease. Like you want to give us mad cow in the 90s? We're going to give you Batchit bird flu. Like it's a, the animals are fighting amongst themselves.
Starting point is 00:28:18 A lot of vengeance here. I mean, it could all just be to try and prevent the old lady who swallowed a fly from eating everyone. But I think this is such a fascinating story because it's a really good example of the way in which when you tell someone not to do something incredibly stupid, they immediately want to do it way more. For those of you who don't know, pasteurization is a process invented by Lulupasteur where they put hot through the milk to kill any bacteria. They do hot flashes through the product.
Starting point is 00:28:52 They menopause the milk and then they hand it to you with all of the bugs zapped out of it and apparently that makes it taste less earthly delicious. I don't know. I don't know. I am the milk producer, not the milk consumer at the moment. Have you ever had cow's milk straight out of a teat, teat to mouth? No, I've had my own milk vomited back into my mouth immediately after. Oh, yeah, that's not the same.
Starting point is 00:29:16 That's not the same. So you finish feeding your baby and then you hold it up in triumph and it puts milk back into your mouth. Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's so confronting. I had an aunt who used to have a cow and she would tell you to come over. She was milking the cow and said, come have a look at this and would squirt the teat straight at your face.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Yeah. That was absolutely disgusting. Oh, no, no, no, no. I do that. That I do. That's just good comedy. I know. We were out good comedy. I know. We were out at breakfast.
Starting point is 00:29:46 I was like, Alice, stop it. What is interesting, though, is that from what I can gather from this article, they're not saying, like, for the people that are going to drink raw milk, they're committed. They're in, right? All they're saying is just don't drink the stuff with bird flu. That's all they're saying. Don't tell us what to do.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Yeah, don't police our choices. Yeah, but it's like, but you can drink, well, no, we want this particular batch of bird flu. But it's also, too, they've got a few people who say they're qualified and they're studied, they're very strong in this. When scientists argue
Starting point is 00:30:19 from both perspectives, whether raw milk is good or bad for you, and they come to a log of heads, I'm all for making scientists just get into a fistfight to see who's actually correct, because it's all too much for simpletons like me. I'm like, yeah, no, f***ing let them punch on. And whichever scientist wins in the cage, they're correct. Do you guys know what you call the game
Starting point is 00:30:41 where you drink a few glasses of milk to find out which is the one that could kill you white russian roulette there it is oh high five thanks gang pleasure to be with you and that brings us to the end of this week's episode of the gargle i'm flipping through the ad section at the back cra Craig, have you got anything to plug? I do have a few things. We've got, I'm actually doing a lot of cool work. It's not really comedy related at the moment, but I am working for the Indigenous, National Indigenous Culinary Institute, and we are recruiting and training chefs all over Australia at the moment. So I'm a
Starting point is 00:31:22 bit of a talent scout for young chefs out there. So if anybody knows a young Indigenous person who is inclined towards the culinary arts, look us up on socials. It's a bit of a side project I have and I'm quite proud of it. That sounds excellent. What's the social media tag for that? That would just, well, just look me up,
Starting point is 00:31:41 Craig Quartermain on any socials. But also if you are inclined, just Google the National Indigenous Culinary Institute. And depending where you are, it'll direct you to the right person. Wonderful. And Lewis, have you got anything to plug? Yeah, I mean, now I don't want to because Craig's was actually like for the good of the world and mine was just for personal gain. You got me on the off week, man.
Starting point is 00:32:02 Generally, it's all about me. This is the one time. game. You got me on the off week, man. Generally, it's all about me. This is the one time. I have just started a new podcast with my friend Michael Hing, comedian, who you would know.
Starting point is 00:32:14 We used to do a radio show together. We quit the radio show and now we do a podcast together. It's called Hobber and Hing. We've just done our launch episode from Hot Air Balloon and it's pretty fun, so you can come and listen to that. I think the only live show I have in the next little while is doing a show with Rhys Nicholson for Vivid Sydney,
Starting point is 00:32:36 which is like at the end of May. What are we now? It's in like a week at Mary's Underground in Sydney, if you're around. Wonderful. I recommend looking up both of those things. I am doing The Guilty Feminist in Brisbane at the end of this month. If you are in Brisbane, you can come see me.
Starting point is 00:32:55 That's one of the very few live shows that I'm doing this year. I'm also running a writer's retreat in Switzerland in September. If you would like to write something or you have something that you'd like to finish or you just want to have a blank page or you just want to go walk around in the beautiful mountains of Switzerland and be inspired, you can go to patreon.com slash alicefraser,
Starting point is 00:33:15 patreon.com slash alicefraser, one-stop shop for all of my stand-up specials, podcasts and blogs, as well as my weekly salons, my writers' meetings and book clubs. This is a Bugle podcast at Alice Fraser Production. Your editor is Ped Hunter, your executive producer is Chris Skinner. I'll talk to you again next week. You can listen to other programs from the Bugle, including The Bugle,
Starting point is 00:33:38 Catharsis, Tiny Revolutions, Top Stories and The Gargle, wherever you find your podcasts.

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